Sam's POV
I was up early after a restless night and couldn't sit still for too long. I was nervous about going to the DX today and talking more with Soda. How could I make him, make everyone, understand that Pony would be better off without me?
I started cleaning the kitchen with nothing else to keep me occupied and before long I heard a soft knock on the door. I frowned and made my way over, who would be here this early and why would they knock instead of just letting themselves in?
I pulled open the door and froze. Darry stood there facing me and I felt myself shrink, I was so sure he would hate me after everything that had gone down with Pony that I found it hard to meet his gaze. I stepped outside and shut the door behind me before moving to the edge of the porch and leaning against the railing with my arms crossed over my chest. After a minute of avoiding looking at him I looked at Darry and held his gaze.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly and I nodded slowly as I was determined to hold it together. Darry looked dubiously at me, "Really?" I stopped nodding and starting shaking my head as tears welled up and Darry stepped forward and hugged me. I sure was getting a lot of hugs lately.
"If you need anything, anything at all, please come to me. I want to be there for you. I want to help you. Anytime you want to come home," I started crying harder at that, "you'll always be welcome." I stood in his arms for a minute longer before pulling away.
"Soda wants me to come to the DX today. He wants me to talk to Pony." I said as I wiped my eyes.
"I know you need to figure this out for yourself but I think that would be a really good idea. I'll be here for you no matter you decide to do. I have to get to work, I just wanted to stop by and check on you first."
"Thanks." I replied as he turned away. Suddenly he stopped and turned back.
"You know I only said I didn't know you because that social worker could have caused trouble for Pony right? I feel awful about it but my first thought is always Pony and Soda and I panicked about what she could do."
"I know that Darry, you're a great parent to those two." He smiled at me as he got into his truck and drove off with a wave.
I stayed on the porch for a minute longer before heading back inside. I continued cleaning the kitchen and living area and as soon as Two-Bit was up we headed off to the DX. I didn't even know if Soda would be there yet but I couldn't just sit around at home anymore.
When we got to the DX Soda was sitting in the door to the garage waiting for me.
"I got here early so we could talk before I started work." he explained and I nodded. He gestured for me to follow him as he led the way through the garage and into a small office. "Take a seat." I sat down in the chair and waited for him. He leant against the desk and watched me before launching into a speech that I'm sure he rehearsed.
"Okay, I know you don't want to tell Pony about what happened to you because you think it'll be easier if he just gets over you and moves on but I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. You were the best thing that ever happened to him, it was like you brought light back into his life again. I know he told you about Johnny but I'm here to tell you that it really messed him up. Darry and I went crazy with worry, it was like he was just drifting through life instead of actually living it. He started getting better after a while but after you came to town it was like having the old Pony around. Like he'd surfaced from being underwater for so long and was ready to join the land of the living again." He suddenly knelt in front of me and clasped my hands in both of his, "I know you don't think yourself capable of that kind of emotion in him but I know he really cares for you and I know you care for him too. I think you two are it, the real deal, and I would hate for you to make a big mistake that could ruin your life because you didn't think you were worthy of him. Pony has his flaws too but you bring out the best in each other and I need you to understand that. Please?"
I sat pondering Soda's words and while I wanted to believe they weren't true, I knew I couldn't deny it to myself anymore, Pony was my forever and I wanted to be his.
"I'm scared, Soda. What if I put myself out there and he can't get past what happened? What if he just doesn't feel about me the way I feel about him?" I hung my head and Soda brought a hand to my cheek to lift my face to meet his gaze.
"I know he does, but you won't know if you don't try. Sometimes you just need to take the plunge and jump in feet first and hope for the best, that's what life is all about. Just have a little faith."
Soda's words stirred something in me and I knew he was right, that everyone was right. Here I was telling myself I couldn't let what Joel Davis did to me to define my life but I was allowing him to do that by saying goodbye to Pony and what we had. I had to take a huge leap of faith, be brave and tell him the truth, then I had to stand by him while he dealt with it and hope we could come out stronger on the other side.
I looked at Soda with a smile, "Can you take me to your place before you start work? Do you have time?" Soda grinned and pulled me to my feet, "Come on, I've got enough time to drop you over and get back here."
"Is he even at home, he doesn't have work?"
"Not today, he mentioned going out to meet up with Curly but he tends to just stay at home these days so I doubt he's gone out." Soda and I jumped in Steve's car and, as Soda peeled out of the parking lot I saw Steve staring and Two-Bit looking confused in the open garage doorway.
"Two-Bit!" I said and Soda replied, "Don't worry, I'll tell him when I get back, he'll be happy you two are going to talk."
After a few minutes we pulled up at the Curtis house and my stomach was in knots of nerves.
"You can do this." Soda said and I nodded my head without taking my eyes off the house.
"I know. Thanks Soda, for talking some sense into me." I turned to him and he smiled, "Go get him."
I hopped out and made my way slowly up the stairs. I wasn't sure if I should knock or just let myself in but I didn't want to have this discussion on the front porch so I let myself in and the door screeched shut behind me. The house was exactly as I remembered and even though it really hadn't been that long since I'd been here it felt like forever and it felt amazing to be back.
Movement from the hall caught my eye as Pony came walking out to see who was here and when he saw me he just stopped and stared. I didn't know what to do so I stared back before realizing this conversation was going to have to be all on me; Pony had no idea why I was here.
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Pony's POV
I just stared at Sam, amazed she was actually standing here in front of me again. She looked just how I remembered and my hands ached to touch her but I pushed those thought aside, she had cheated on me so what did she want now.
"Can we please talk?" she asked softly and I couldn't form a reply so I just nodded and gestured to the sofa. Sam sat down at one end and I sat down at the other, too scared to sit close to her as the urge to touch her was overwhelming. I realized then that the feelings I had for her were so deep I didn't think they would ever go away. If she were here to say goodbye it would crush me and even if she left town completely I'd never, ever get over her for as long as I lived.
"So I haven't been completely honest about some things-"
"You think?" I interrupted sarcastically and then mentally kicked myself. Sam took a deep breath and kept talking, ignoring my childish outburst.
"There are things I need to tell you about. And you won't be happy to hear them but I need to let you know and I need you to hear me out and when I'm done I need to know what you want." I nodded at her cryptic words and she nodded back and adjusted herself on the sofa before continuing.
"Do you remember when I was sick a few weeks ago and I had that bruise on my face from falling down the porch steps? Well I wasn't completely honest with you." She stopped for a minute and took another breath before continuing on what I thought was a completely different topic.
"Joel Davis never did anything to you after you confronted him, did he?"
"No he didn't, how do you know his name? And what has that got to do with anything?"
"He didn't come after you Pony because he came after me. The day you worked and I didn't I was supposed to wait for Two-Bit to come over to walk me to the DX but I didn't. I thought you were all being a bit ridiculous with the whole guard duty thing and it was the middle of the day so what could really happen right? He and some of his friends cornered me in the park."
"You didn't fall down the front steps did you? He did that to your face didn't he?" I could feel the rage building as I squeezed the couch under me but Sam continued.
"My face, my ribs and my head although I could hide my ribs and head from everyone."
"That son of a –" I jumped up from the couch but Sam held her hands up and I slowly sat back down on my end of the couch, "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say anything I could have…"
"What Pony? You could have what exactly? We both know what you would have done." Her face softened as she looked at me like she knew what would have happened before continuing, "That's not all they did. They wanted to really hurt you Pony. I knew what was going to happen and I tried to fight him off but I couldn't, he was too strong." My heart started beating fast and it felt like the room was running low on air. I wanted to scream at her to stop, to not say the words I was so worried she was going to say but I couldn't, wouldn't, stop her. She needed to say this as much as I needed to hear it.
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Sam's POV
I took a deep calming breath, "He…he said he was going to enjoy it and he smashed my head against the wall and I started to black out but I knew. When I came to I knew what had happened. My jeans and underpants were down and there was blood on my thighs." I ducked my head as I said this last bit, not able to look at him for the shame that overwhelmed me.
Pony groaned loudly and moved so suddenly I didn't even see it. One minute he was sitting on the other end of the sofa and the next he was right next to me, his arms around me, his head resting on my shoulder and his shoulders shaking as his tears soaked my shirt. I couldn't hold back either and started crying as I listened to his anguish and his pain, it felt like torture.
"I'm sorry." he whispered through the sobs that wracked his body, "I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry I swapped shifts, I'm sorry I put a target on your back, I'm sorry you couldn't tell me and you had to hide it, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry for everything!"
"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Pony." I pulled back and tried to get him to meet my eyes but he wouldn't lift his gaze, "Davis is the one who needs to be sorry for what he did. I was so afraid to tell everyone in case you would all be angry because I walked on my own after you told me not to but I've realized it wasn't my fault. It wasn't anyone's fault except for Joel Davis'." Pony looked up sharply and met my eyes with his own tearstained ones.
"Don't say his name, I don't ever want to hear that assholes name come from your beautiful lips again." I smiled at Pony.
"I won't let him have any power over me anymore, over us. I let him come between us once when I should have just been honest with you about what happened. I won't let him do that again."
Pony took my hand, rubbing soft circles over my palm, "I'm sorry about the baby. I know you probably didn't want that future but I'm still sorry you had to go through it anyway." My love for this guy swelled as I burrowed into his chest.
"I felt so guilty for being relieved. I only realized that afternoon when Two-Bit and I were out. I was racing him because he could tell something was up when the car hit me. I didn't have any time to wrap my head around it but I remember feeling so relieved when the doctor told me and then awful. What kind of person feels relieved at that?" Pony lifted his hand to gently stroke my cheek and raise my face to his.
"A normal person. I don't think you felt relief that the baby didn't make it I think you felt relief that you didn't have to make a decision about it, or that you didn't have to face that reality anymore. That's a normal reaction to have." I sighed and wrapped my arms around him and he returned the gesture.
We sat in each other's arms for a while before Pony stiffened and spoke, "You know I'm going to have to kill him right?" I laughed slightly as I refused to believe he was serious and I didn't pull back, afraid of what I might see on his face.
"You don't need to. Steve and Dally got arrested last night for going over to the West side and beating him up. The cops couldn't prove it or they wouldn't have walked so they were lucky."
"Steve and Dally knew?" Pony asked and I winced at having to hurt him again. I pulled back to look at him.
"Two-Bit and I went to the bowling alley last week and he was there. He made a comment about me coming back for round 2 and I saw red. I smashed my pepsi bottle over his head and jumped him."
"That's my girl." Pony smiled at me and I continued.
"Two-Bit got me out of there and back to his place but I was having some kind of episode and he wouldn't let up so I had to tell him. Apparently Curly was at the bowling alley and saw everything and he was on his way to tell you when he ran into Steve and told him. Steve came over and Two-Bit confided everything to him. Steve wanted revenge so he went to Dally because he knew if he told Soda and they did something serious Soda's life would be over and he didn't want that. But, after Steve and Dal got arrested Soda went to the station and it all kind of came out in the carpark. Soda must have come home and told Darry last night because Darry showed up at Two-Bit's house this morning. So everyone knew except you until now. I'm sorry you were last but I didn't know how to tell you. And I didn't know what would happen after I did."
"You thought I wouldn't want you anymore?" Pony guessed with a frown on his face and I shrugged and looked down.
"I'm not the same person anymore and I never will be. You deserve someone better Pony and-"
"Stop. After everything I've been through in my life I honestly don't know what I deserve anymore but I do know what I want and that's you. I have always wanted you since the moment I saw you at the bus stop and I will always want you until I take my last breath. Nothing you tell me will ever change my mind and I need you to understand that. Please, please tell me you understand that?"
I looked up into Pony's fierce gaze with tears in my eyes and smiled at him. My chest swelled with happiness and I felt like everything was going to be okay.
"I love you Ponyboy Curtis. Some people might think I'm too young to truly know what love is but I know what I feel for you and it can't possibly ever be better than this."
Pony took my face in his hands and held me steady so my eyes were staring right into his, "I love you too Sam Young, for the rest of my life I will love you." and then he pressed his lips to mine and I breathed a sigh of relief at the feeling of his lips on mine.