It Wasn't Loaded

As Amy entered her house, she heard a voice behind her, 'Freeze! Stay where you are and put your arms in the air!' Amy did as she was ordered. 'Do you have any objects that could hurt me?' the voice asked.

'Of course not, Officer Mac,' Amy said, barely able to contain her laughter. Also, even though she didn't see him, she knew her nine-year old was trying his best not to laugh as well.

'Now, turn around,' Mac ordered.

Again, Amy did as she was asked. But once she turned around, she screamed. It wasn't her fake screams like when she pretended to be a hostage while playing with her kids. No, this was her actual scream like when she was genuinely scared. Her genuine shrill scream. It was so shrill that Jake, Harry, and Liz ran downstairs to see what happened. Once she saw the three of them there, she turned to Jake. 'Jake,' she said, 'why is our son carrying one of our guns?'

'Oh, relax,' Jake said nonchalantly, 'it's not loaded.'

'Okay, but I'd be much happier if Mac wasn't carrying it,' Amy said, still clearly mortified.

'Ames, - '

'Jake, just take the pistol from him!' Amy screamed.

Jake sighed as he went to his son and took the gun from him. 'Sorry, bud,' he told Mac.

'Oh, that's okay,' the boy replied, 'I didn't wanna scare Mommy, I just wanted to play with her. Sorry, Mommy.'

'Oh, baby, that's okay,' Amy said as she went to hug him, 'But you can't play with Daddy and Mommy's guns, okay? You play with the guns we got for you.'

'Mommy, does that mean Liz and I can't play with the guns Daddy gave us too?' Harry asked innocently.

'What?' Amy screamed as she looked up to find their other two kids also holding real guns. 'No, you can't,' she said as she took the guns away from her children. When she turned to look at Jake, he was standing still, looking out, as if nothing was going on. But once he met his wife's eyes, he went pale. He knew he was in for a world of pain. 'Okay, you three go do whatever you want,' Amy told her kids and they ran to watch T.V.

'So…' Jake began.

'Not here, our room.'

Once they reached the bedroom, they put the guns in the proper places. As Jake sat down on their bed, Amy grabbed a book from her table and started hitting him. 'What the hell were you thinking?' she asked as she continued hitting him.

'Ow! Amy, ow! Let me speak, ow! Ow! Just stop!' Jake said.

'Not yet!' Amy said.

Two minutes later, she tossed the book back on the table and placed her arms on her hips. This was an exact replica of how Amy would talk to their kids when they did something wrong. 'Next thing you'll be telling me is that you let the kids have a sip of wine,' Amy said. Jake remained quiet. 'Oh, my God! You don't, do you?' Amy screamed again.

'What? No! I don't, I promise!' Jake replied quickly.

'So? Who asked you if they could play with real guns?'

'No one,' Jake said softly.

'Wait, what?' Amy tried processing Jake's words. 'So, you just gave them our guns?' Amy asked as she reached for the book again.

'Wait, Ames, I can explain!' Jake said as he got up and stopped her. 'Okay,' he began, 'I first watched Die Hard when I was nine. As you know, that's one of the reasons I became a cop. I used to love impersonating John McClane and there were several times when I would reenact the scenes. I used to always wonder how cool it would be to have a real gun. Now, today, I watched Die Hard and I remembered all this from my childhood. And I realized that Mac's nine. So, maybe he wants to hold a real gun.'

Amy sighed as she sat down and took his hands in hers. 'Jake, that first part of a nine-year old you, it's cute. But you're almost fifty now. You have to have better judgment.'

'Ames, I get that. But you gotta admit that you overreacted a bit.'

'No, I didn't!'

'You totally did. The guns weren't even loaded.'

'Loaded or not, real guns should not be near little children's reach, Jake.'

'Ames, the most damage that could've happened was if they threw or hit each other with the guns.'

'You don't get it, do you?'

'Get what?'

'Look, it's adorable that our kids love playing cops. It's so sweet that they wanna be like us. That's why we got them the police sets. But Jake, a real gun is not a joke. Yes, you were the one who gave it to them. Yes, they weren't loaded. But what if one of the kids found a gun in the park, unattended, and brought it to us. Even if it was unloaded, would you find it fun? Would you find it adorable?'

'I'd be scared, shaken to my core,' Jake said slowly.

'Exactly, Jake. We're raising our kids well but I don't want them to be close to our guns. They may get the wrong idea and think that guns aren't serious. I'm not saying they'll do anything illegal but what if they want to have another look at a real gun and they come in here and take out one of our guns, which may be loaded?'

'I'm so sorry, Ames. I didn't realize this. What kind of a dad am I?'

'You're a stupid dad. A good but stupid dad,' Amy tried to joke but Jake was still worried.

'I just… This was so wrong of me…' Jake said as a few tears trickled down his cheek.

'Oh, Jake,' Amy tried comforting him as she lay them down on their bed, hugging him and running her hand through his hair. 'It was an innocent mistake, really. If you had an adult who dismissed that thought of yours when you were nine, you wouldn't have done this today. Look, we can move past this. It was just a mistake. Our kids are smart and really, really understanding. Trust me, it's gonna be alright.'

'Alright,' Jake said softly, 'I'm so, so sorry Ames.'

'I know you are,' Amy said as she kissed the top of his head.

And he really was. Of course he was. He'd made an error in judgment, one that could've been avoided if an adult, most probably his dad, would have been around him more often when he was a child. But Jake was the adult now. He was the one who had to be around the kids more often. Once he realized this, he became a much better dad. Amy was particularly impressed, not because she thought he was always going to be irresponsible, but rather because he was already such a great dad. But Jake, like usual, would always attribute him being a great dad to the fact that Amy Santiago was always a great wife.