It unsettled Ben how easily he had been able to get off of the Finilizer. No guards. No alarms. And absolutely no Wayzac. Not to mention that it was an absolute blessing that the ship he stole had autopilot on it, because he could barely keep his mind focused on the controls.

His vision swam and his stomach churned, needing to be emptied more than once. There was a fogginess in his mind that he couldn't break though no matter how badly he wanted to.

He was awake just enough to know where he was going, kept a hold of what he was doing and he so badly wanted to sleep and rest, but he knew better. He had to stay awake enough to get to safety. He couldn't let his guard down, especially with the unnerved feeling in his veins as he kept thinking about how Wayzac didn't even try to stop him. It pumped through him like a drug. Anxiety, panic, dread.

He wasn't sure when or how he had arrived. It swirled through his mind. He was certain that he had made it Naboo, if the magical looking hallways had anything to do with it. He stumbled through them until he reached a large set of double doors and somehow found a way through them.

There was a loud scream that made him wince as it rattled his head. His knees, as if knowing they were somewhere safe, collapsed beneath him and sent him tumbling to the floor. He could make out the sounds of voices and then hands on his body, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

The floor beneath him went soft and disappeared. It was hard to make out the details of the room after something with the brightness of the sun blinded him before giving way to static.

Ben gasped, blinking in the brightness of the room and glanced around. The medical bay room was devoid of all beauty. Its walls were cream, not peeling or dirty, just cream. There were no decorations save for the limp curtain that surrounded the left edge of his bed and blocked off what he assumed was the rest of the ward.

There was a distinct smell of chemicals in the air, something clean, something scrubbed within an inch of its life. Ben glanced down at himself and found a dingy hospital gown that had been washed a few too many times and was no longer a clean white.

He could sense bandages over his arms and there was something stiff around his leg where his fingers could stretch out and touch the thick bandaging.

He let out another deep breath, ready for a wince, but none came. No pain. He had been expecting something, even a little bit. He had been stabbed with a pair of scissors over and over again. There should be pain.

As if sensing Ben's thoughts, a voice spoke up, one he didn't quite recognize. "You better enjoy it why you can. You're only allowed a small portion of the good drugs."

He snapped his head to the side and grimaced at a sharp spinning that blurred his vision. He put a hand to his head and sighed before taking in the girl that was at his bedside. She was young and was sitting sideways in the chair, legs dangling over one of the arm rests of it. She was picking at her nails and didn't spare him a glance.

"Cordella?" he asked, voice gravely and throat raw.

"Emila," the girl corrected, swinging her feet where they hung.

"Of course," Ben whispered, running a hand through his hair. "Where's the Queen?"

"I am currently standing in, if that wasn't clear enough." Emila finally looked up and swung her legs so that they landed in front of her and gave her enough momentum to stand up in one fluid movement. "She's away for the time being."

"Where?" Ben pushed.

"You're too weak to go anywhere at the moment, Solo. I would suggest not worrying over something so small."

Ben frowned. What was she playing at? This was serious. He needed to speak to Cordella right away. There was so much to discuss. "What about Rey? Where is she?"

"With the Queen." Emila stepped up to the side of the bed and Ben glanced over her for a moment.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" Ben asked, eyes narrowing on the young teen.

Emila hummed, feigning being lost in thought. "No," she finally said with a firm nod. "You need rest."

"I don't have time to rest." Ben pushed the scratchy blanket off of his legs and swung them over the side of the bed.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," she warned, stepping back slightly as if to give him room to get up even against her words.

"I will be fine. I need to find them. They're in trouble." Ben lowered himself to the floor, putting the weight on his feet. He took a step towards the exit and felt his knees buckle under him. Emila was swift to try to catch him, but stumbled under his weight.

"I told you..." She struggled to get the words out as she pushed Ben back to his bed. "...not to."

He sat back on the edge of the bed and released his iron grip on Emila who stepped back with a huff and pushed her incredibly long hair from her face. "Thank you," he muttered embarrassedly.

"Just because you can't feel pain doesn't mean that you're magically fixed. You crash landed the ship into a house." Emila motioned behind her as if that was the direction of where he had crashed and he would be able to see it through the wall. "Luckily no one was inside. And then you come wandering into my throne room covered in blood and pass out. You have burns all over your body from something electric, your arm was shot open, your nose is broken, you have some weird metal hand now and then you have giant ass stab wounds in your leg? The doctors were shocked that you didn't bleed out. One of them almost nicked the artery."

Ben wrestled with himself in an attempt to understand all of the information that she was giving him. He was searching as far back as he could into his memories, but the last one he remembered was finding the ship in the hanger and now he was here.

"I guess it makes sense," Emila continued on, her hands on her hips. "Rey had the same injuries on-"

"She's hurt?" Ben demanded, his voice more urgent than he meant it to be. If only he could move from this damn bed. "Where is she?"

"Whoa, hold onto your bolts there bounty hunter," Emila said, head tipping to the side. "Now, maybe you could explain to me why you two would have the same injuries when she was nowhere near you."

Ben's eyes widened, having not heard that part previously. He let the words sink in, a bit a guilt following along with them. She was hurt because of him. Was it ever any different? He was her bad luck charm. Everything that they did for each other left one of them hurt. But if she had the same injuries, then... Had she been there during that session with Wayzac? What all had she seen? What had she heard?

"Rey and I have a very strong force connection," Ben explained absentmindedly. His fists clenched at the sheet beneath him and he licked his chapped lips in thought. The memory was fuzzy around the edges as he tried to push through it. "It allows us to see each other in times of need."

"That's very interesting," Emila muttered curiously. "I've never heard of that before."

"It's rare..." he trailed off, eyebrows furrowed. He could feel the medicine he was on beginning to wear off and a dull ache was beginning to set into his body, fogging his mind further. What was he trying so desperately to hold onto? It was like a dream that was slipping away the more he thought of it and he could only see the bare outlines and structures and no longer the full pictures. And it clicked, a light going off in his mind. "They're going to Ahch-To!"

Emila's eyes met his for the first time since he had woken and he knew he was right. She didn't say a word, she didn't have to. There was something in her eyes that said he was right. Something said he shouldn't even dare to try to go after them. But that wouldn't stop Ben. It never had. He had tracked them across the universe many times before and he could do it again. In all honesty, who was better at it than him?

Wayzac.

Ben had to beat her there, he had to meet up with the others and devise a plan. He knew her better than any of them did. They might stand a chance, but it would be a better chance if he was there.

"You're not going," Emila stated strongly, arms folded over her chest. "You know perfectly well that you are in no shape to travel."

"It doesn't matter what shape I'm in," Ben stressed, pushing himself back to the very edge of the bed so he could try standing once more. "What matters is the future of this galaxy and I need to be there to help." He lowered himself back to his feet, hands tightly on the edge of the bed to stay upright. His leg trembled beneath him as an intense needle like pain filled his thigh. He took a shaky step and when his knees didn't give out under him this time, he took another. "You're not going to stop me?" he asked when he glanced up to see Emila staring at him in disbelief.

"You're not going to listen even if I told you not to go," she commented, not bothering to help Ben either. Ben released the bed and took his first free step, only to quickly snatch back up his balance with the bed for guidance, metal fingers digging into the mattress. Emila rolled her eyes with a deep sigh. "All of you are the same. You're all hard asses." She stepped over to him and wrapped an arm around his waist awkwardly due to their height difference. He hesitantly placed an arm around her shoulder and did his best to not put all of his weight onto her small frame as she led him towards the exit of the medical bay. "You know," she gasped out through the extersion, "it's ok to be selfish sometimes."

"This is bigger than just me."

He scooped up the lightsaber that was with the rest of his damaged clothes, Rey's weapon being the only thing useful to take from what remained.

The way to the suite that Rey, Finn and Poe had been using was long and tedious, but Ben was walking a little better than before, grimacing as he moved. He would have to take some more medicine if he was going to be able to do this. He wasn't exactly sure where to get it or how to take it, but without it he was fairly sure he wouldn't be able to move.

He found some of his things that had been left behind with everything that the other three had thought unimportant to take. He dressed and secured Rey's saber to his belt before leaving Rey's room and finding Emila waiting outside boredly, once again checking her nails.

"Alright, are we going to Ahch-To?"

"We?" Ben asked, taking the back of one of the couches for balance as his leg gave a painful twinge. "This isn't a we thing."

"You can't walk without someone there to support you," she argued, still not looking up from the invisible dirt under her nails that was holding her attention.

"I'll just take more medicine," he offered with a shrug.

Her eyes snapped up to him at that with an incredulous look in them. "I already told you that just because the pain is gone doesn't mean the injury is, dipshit."

Ben's eyebrows furrowed and he tipped his head to the side as he looked over the teen. She definitely had the beauty of Cordella, but her mouth was something else. "How are you Queen?"

"I can wear a mask too, Kylo," she answered coldly. "Now, where are we going?"

Ben hesitated for a moment. If he told her she was going to come with him and if he didn't, she would follow him. He wasn't sure how he knew it, but he did. There was something defiant in the way she stood and held herself.

"What about staying here?" Ben asked, still not wanting to give up where he was going, though he was pretty sure that he had given it away with his earlier outburst. It wasn't that he didn't trust her- No. He absolutely didn't trust her. There was something harsh about her, something out of place. "Didn't Cordella need you here to take care of everything?"

"I can go to a senate meeting somewhere else," she replied. "They won't miss me much."

Ben didn't like that at all. It made him nervous. Why was she so ready to leave here? He had never spoken with Emila face to face, but he had met her once or twice when Cordella and him had their daily reports for each other. Emila was outspoken and strongly opinionated, which was not what was the problem. Ben had just never liked her. She was borderline rude and always seemed to allude to knowing more than she ever said, like she was mentally playing a game of chess and had to think three steps ahead in every direction.

"We have a shuttle that we can ready and leave within the hour. You're not getting out of here without me." Emila crossed her arms over her chest, her hip jutted out to the side. Ben frowned. He wasn't leaving alone. "I will make sure you have all of the medicine you need and will sneak you out. If I do not get to come with you, I have no choice but to make sure that guards are posted at your bed in the medical bay and you will not be allowed from that room until the Cordella returns and can order me otherwise."

Ben opened his mouth, but couldn't find the words to argue with. He glanced down at his feet and sighed. He couldn't get out of here without her help and he knew it. He couldn't take more than a step without his leg giving out beneath him. He needed her.

"Alright," he finally sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Is the shuttle in the hanger?"

"Don't you need to pack something?"

Ben took a few small steps around the couch, the pain bold and unrelenting in the disappearance of the drugs he had been on. His hand stayed firmly on the arm of the couch to stay upright.

"Not unless you want food," he replied, licking his lips and closing his eyes.

"You're hopeless," she grumbled, her footsteps moving closer to him. She took his arm and helped him sit down on the couch and his hands took his thigh, around the stab wounds, and added pressure to the muscle to try to lessen the pain. "You stay here. I will get everything ready."

"I can he-"

"You are more hindrance than help," Emila interrupted his offer. She took a deep and irritated breath, hands on her hips as if she were dealing with a troubling kid. "I will get you some more medicine and I will pack the shuttle. You stay here and rest like you're supposed to, idiot."

Ben sighed as Emila left the room and rested his head back on the couch, tears stinging his eyes as he let out his first shaky and unguarded breath, fingers digging into the fabric of his pants. One of his arms went to his face and he bit down on the sleeve of his shirt by his wrist as his chin trembled, letting the full weight of the pain crash into him.

Hot and smokey. Rich and blinding. Caustic and shockingly electric.

He let out a loud sob, the sound reverberating around the empty room. And more came, only pausing for Ben to draw a quivering breath through his teethful of shirt that he only bit down harder on.

His mind was trying to tear him apart from the inside out. Pain, guilt, panic, fear. His brain was pulling in a million different directions, all of them brilliantly bright and vivid, but at the same time foggy and out of reach.

Ben's metallic hand left his leg and went to his hair, taking a large chunk of waves and pulling them taut as if that would somehow help quiet his racing mind and in turn still his pounding heart. The new fingers were cold against his scalp, oddly out of place.

With a large inhale, he let his teeth release and his now free hand turned into a fist and slammed into the back of the couch several times out of rage. Three large muted bangs and then the damp fabric at his wrist was back between his teeth as another loud cry tore from his throat.

"Stop," he begged himself, wishing he had enough control over his body to numb the pain. "Please stop. Please."

He closed his eyes, trying to refocus. This wasn't the time to feel sorry for himself. This wasn't a time to let his guard down. This wasn't the time to let the events swirling around him like a hurricane control him. He was the power here and he had to be. He had to be strong, if not for him then for everything else. For the galaxy. For the Resistance. For Rey.

Ben had never thought that his life would ever revolve around one singular person so much and that wasn't a complaint. He had already given her his soul and he would do it again without question and not because it was the right thing to do and he finally had his path back under his feet. It was because he loved her. Ben loved Rey to the ends of time and space, which were possibly very fast approaching.

Even though it seemed they continued to miss each other by mere moments and were constantly chasing after each other for the last year or so, they were close. They always had been.

Ben could recall having felt a warm, summery, flowery impression about him when he was younger and again when he joined the First Order. Rey was that sunny disposition. She was that light that pulled him so earnestly from his tormented darkness and Ben wasn't about to turn his back on that light again.

Not now, not ever. And everything would be sweeter with Rey at his side, not as his Empress that he had envisioned once upon a time, but as the powerful Jedi that changed the course of the universe for the best. He had seen that future too, he had just been far too afraid to go after it because he hadn't been in it. He was nowhere in her light where he forever wanted to be and hopefully somehow return the kindness to her that he was so undeserving of.

He took a firm, steadying breath and pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes until patterns were swimming in his vision, one hand more comfortable than the other. He lowered his arms and exhaled deeply past his lips and opened his eyes, blinking in the light. He sat up and wiped his cheeks clean of his tears before combing his fingers through his hair.

"Were you crying?"

Ben jumped and looked up at Emila who had her hands resting on her hips, eyes raking over him, calculating, judging. When Ben didn't reply, she shook her head and tossed him a small glass jar. He caught it and glanced over it, bright orange pills greeting him.

"Take one every two hours. It should help with the pain," she explained with a boredness in her voice. She waited for Ben to take one of the capsules before moving closer and pulling him from his perch on the couch. She gripped him tightly around the waist and his arm was once again slung over her shoulder. He was heavy, heavier than Emila though he would be. "How long will it take for us to get there?"

"If we travel at light speed, then hopefully within the day. We have to go across the Expansion Region and the Core Worlds before-"

"Don't care anymore," Emila interrupted in a strained voice as they finally reached the door of the room. "How long did I say it was before the pills kicked in?"

"You didn't," Ben clarified.

When they finally did reach the shuttle in the expansive hanger, Emila didn't waste a second pushing Ben at a wall for balance, visibly tired from the long walk, her cheeks flushed and breathing hard. She went to the far wall where there were several looped straps on rectangular cut outs. She grabbed one and pulled, the pullout detaching from the wall and lowering into a cot. She then scrummaged around between where the head of the cot and the wall were before finding a lumpy looking pillow and a thin blanket and tossing them onto the cot.

Emila moved back to Ben and took his arm, leading him to the cot and lowering him onto it. He lowered his head into his hands as his vision spun. "What did you give me?" he asked in a whisper, afraid that anything louder would make the room spin more than it was.

"They might make you drowsy," Emila answered somewhere to the side of him. "I would sleep if I were you."

"This isn't drowsy." Ben's stomach churned.

"I'll get us to Ahch-To. You rest like you were supposed to."

Ben wasn't sure how he got there, but his head was immediately against the pillow, the uncomfortableness of the cot somehow letting him sink into it as he slipped from the dizzying room and into a deep darkness.

A/N: This is the update for this weekend. I hope you guys enjoy! The next update will probably be Monday and we'll see how I feel after my surgery for the next one. Thank you guys so much for the kind wishes! Have a good weekend!