I will be here
Song written by Steven Curtis Chapman
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except
Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here
The next morning...
Felicia woke up early- noticing the clock on the bed stand read 7 am.
She was warmer than usual and her leg and back itched something terrible!
"Mmmnh!"
Alerted, Felicia's bedmate woke up, blue eyes clouded in confusion and sleep. Seeing his bedmate was safe yet uncomfortable, caused him to smile sleepily.
"Don- sc-ch" he mumbled into the pillow.
"What was that?" she snapped.
"Don't scratch" he instructed, giving her a look.
"Oooh..."
The priest, bemused yet alarmed that the Countess' talon-like fingernails were heading towards the red rash on her leg, gently grabbed her wrist in his hand before she could move anywhere near the offending area.
"Dearest, this isn't a mud bug bite... your blisters will get worse if you scratch."
She looked peeved enough to be cross.
"And just how do you know so much about these things?"
He gave her a sheepish grin.
"Let's just say I studied botany once upon a time"
Raising a surprised eyebrow, Felicia smirked.
"And have you ever been scratched by poison ivy?"
The minister shook his head.
"Poison oak. Twice"
She winced. "Ouch"
Nathan nodded. "Once in the Cotswolds, during the war, another during my time at Upcott."
Felicity moved off of the bed and nearly stumbled getting her dress.
"Ooh..."
Nathan rushed to her side.
"Back to bed with you..." he frowned.
"But I have to check on the boys and get back to work..."
Nathan shook his head firmly.
"I've already spoken to Emily. The boys are fine- they're eating breakfast before Sid goes to pick them up."
Felicity looked at her beloved, confused.
"What day is it?"
He grinned devilishly. "Saturday" He leaned in for a kiss.
She laughed "You're insatiable!"
"Mmm" he grinned, kissing her again.
"I heard no objections once we had our discussion," he winked.
She frowned and rolled her eyes.
"Good morning to you too, Darling" he quipped; they giggled and kissed again.
"So should we be concerned about this new development in our relationship?" Felicity asked.
Nathan shook his head, content to hold her in his arms, when the memory of Robert and Fanny's first visit to Montague came to mind.
Bob had looked nervous, even frightened at the concept of he and Fanny being under the same roof.
This had confused Nathan, since he had assumed they lived in the same boarding house together.
Did the man doubt his lack of self control that much?
Nathan felt a pit of dread in his stomach.
After the promise of accountability they had made to their friends, the two had gone against their vow, and though they had not engaged in physical activity, their actions of intimacy last night now left questions in Nathan's mind.
Father, I...
They had sinned... even if they had not engaged in intercourse, they had sinned by breaking their promise...
Tears flooded Nathan's eyes.
They had broken no law in man's eyes: their actions were to be expected, but still- would Felicity again be taken from him?
Please, Lord... No...
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand, and have no fear
Cause I, I will be here
"Nathan? Darling, are you alright?"
Felicity was confused. At first Nathan was fine, holding her... now he was shaking with sobs and crying...
"What is it, dear?" she wiped the tears from his eyes, lovingly caressing his right cheek with her left hand.
The wince of pain in her eyes as she touched him caused another wave of grief to flow into more tears. He let go of her and turned so she wouldn't see him, as she sat watching him, confused.
"Nathan, is this something wrong? Darling, is there something I can help with?"
Nathan shook his head, still refusing to look at her
Felicity sat quietly waiting for him, wondering what on earth could be wrong.
I will be here when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind,
I will listen and
"We broke our promise" he whispered. "We promised Robert and Fanny we will wait until we are married before..."
Felicity winced. Last night they had cuddled- Nathan being careful not to touch her back and leg.
"Well what's to keep him from marrying us?"
Nathan looked at her in confusion
Of course, this is what he dreamed of, but he never expected it to be that simple.
I will be here when the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and tryin'
We'll be together 'cause I will be here
"We could travel to Gretna Green today! We could ask Robert and Fanny to be our witnesses"
Felicity's brown eyes shone with excitement.
They could get their family and friends to help with the decorations and Mrs. McCarthy and Emily could cater the wedding lunch. The mansion would be big enough to hold everyone...
Yes what was to stop them from getting married today, if not next week?
For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
But, Lord...
It was uncommon for Nathan to hear silence to a prayer... even one that began with a plea for understanding...
Arise, my son... my servants await you...
FB-LF-FB-LF-FB-LF
Forty-five minutes earlier...
In a quaint, quiet penthouse in Kent, an old woman in her seventies was up and about fetching breakfast for her tenant and a guest, who currently sat reading the paper while his fiancée sat nibbling buttered toast.
Bob looked at Fanny once again. The tenth time in an hour, donned in a simple dark blue frock, bringing out her lovely blue eyes.
"What...?" she asked with a a smile and a blush.
"Just can't believe how blessed I am" Bob smiled, clearing the lump from his throat.
Fanny shyly looked away, before Robert put down his paper, took two of his fingers and placed them under her chin.
"There's that smile... " he said with a boyish grin.
She giggled.
Their landlady smiled, excited that soon these two would be wedded under the Lord.
"When's the wedding?" she asked.
"Next Friday." Fanny smiled. "You're invited, Mrs. Nash, as are all our friends in Kembleford!"
Mrs. Nash clapped her hands excitedly. (1) Doris from ApCH
"Will your family be there?" she asked.
Fanny grew quiet and solemn. "I've written them, and they've responded, declining the invitation"
Robert winced. He knew Sarah had wanted to go, but as long as she was tied down to that foolhardy Jake, she was powerless to go against him. (Phillip and Margaret)
Her father had written her off long ago, saying that her defiance had killed Fanny's mother. (Prince of Wales/ Duchess)
Actually typhoid had, but that was beside the point.
Robert's uncle Martin, and his cousin Arthur and his wife Adele would be there (4-5) (Maurice) (Adam and Belle)
Martin was Robert's father Timothy's (King George) brother. Arthur was his son, whom had rescued his bride Adele from an abusive situation.
Robert's parents died when he was young, so Uncle Martin and Arthur were all he had.
"Robert's family will be there, though" she smiled, looking forward to making acquaintance with Adele. Adele's sister Megan had also been invited, along with her fiancée Daniel. (Ruby and Archie)
"Do you have a place to have it?"
"We were considering asking Lady Felicia Montague to facilitate her residence."
"Oh, how exciting! Well dears i shan't keep you waiting...just let me know when you need help"
"Absolutely! thank you!"
Once they left the house, the two hailed a taxi and made their way to Montague Mansion, finding Felicia wasn't there- speaking with Emily the two found she hadn't been in since
yesterday morning. (Saphira's mother)
Robert frowned; something didn't feel right...
"Let's try the presbytery" he said after a moment.
Fanny felt a sudden jolt of alarm.
"But..."
Sensing his near bride's nervousness, Bob winced.
"I know, but it's just a hunch..."
The two soon arrived at the presbytery, the suspicious feeling coming upon Robert again.
He tried to dismiss it, but for some reason, it wouldn't quit…
Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the future is unclear
I- I will be here
As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetime's are made for years
So, I- I will be here
Nathan and Felicity jumped when they heard the doorbell to the Presbytery sound out indicating that they had guests.
Fully dressed, the two decided that it was time.
They would open the door and greet their friends, facing the consequences of whatever happened.
When Robert and Fanny did enter the presbytery, hugs were given and pleasantries exchanged, the tenseness in the room continuing to grow like an elephant.
Shortly after they sat down to tea, Fanny noticed Felicity started to scratch her leg against the settee.
"Are you alright dear?" Fanny asked
"Right as rain" Felicity smiled, unconvincingly
Shortly thereafter everyone had finished their tea
As the women listen to the men catch up, Fanny scanned Felicity and noticed something unusual.
Not wanting to put her on the spot, Fanny decided to hold her tongue until she could get Felicity alone in private.
"oh dear it seems we are out of cream cakes; Felicity would you mind giving me a hand in the kitchen, dear?"
As Fanny headed to the kitchen, Felicity gulped.
Robert was curious when Felicity dragged her feet as she rose to follow Fanny
Lord what is going on with these two? he prayed.
Nathan had been awfully edgy himself, sticking to topics such as the weather and asking Robert about his last sermon which was odd.
Nathan himself had helped Bob compose the sermon previously; he knew the ins and outs of what Bob spoke about- Something strange was going on...
In the kitchen Fanny demanded that Felicity face her.
"Alright, out with it; you've been as jumpy as a fish out of water! What's going on?"
Felicity tried to play innocent. "I have no idea what you are talking about."
Fanny wasn't buying it. "Don't give me that! You've been scratching your leg and your back since the moment we arrived. The mud bugs aren't active this season, so you had to have gotten something else, such as toxicodendron radicands..."
Felicity blushed at the mention of poison ivy.
Fanny wondered why. She continued to glance at her friend, noticing a red bruise near Felicity's neck that was starting to turn purple.
"Tell me my dear where on Earth did you get such a bruise?"
Felicity blushed beet red, to which Fanny raised an eyebrow.
Felicity tried not to cry as she cursed in her head. She had applied her toilette that morning; how on earth did she miss that particular spot?!
"Last night, we um..., that is, Nathan and I...we had a late night picnic together and we..."
Fanny gasped covering her mouth.
"Tell me you didn't..."
"No! No we didn't, but our coupling did become rather intimate…"
I will be here and you can cry on my shoulder,
Felicia put her head down in embarrassment, eyes filling with tears and face heating red. Was this what her beloved had felt this morning? Shame at what they had done?
Robert frowned harshly at Nathan. The men had come to the kitchen entrance, Robert having heard what Felicity had just admitted to.
"You promised us. you both gave us your word you would not involve yourselves in such an act of sin!"
"Robert, it's not what you think- we did not engage in..."
"Whether you did or not does not matter at this point, Felicity, the fact is you both engaged in physical intimacy before you have taken your marriage vows before the Lord! You both are in danger of committing fornication! It is a sin! In relating so, your actions lead to it, or didn't your parents ever teach you that?!"
Felicity gasped, tears leaking from her eyes.
Fanny, having known from Felicity what happened to her family, placed sisterly hands on Felicity's shoulders.
Robert! That was uncalled for! They made a mistake!
"Enough, Francis!" Robert snapped. "They broke a vow!"
He glared at Felicity.
"It is my belief and understanding that you lured Nathan into this! It shouldn't surprise me with all of the socialite additions in the paper with your name and photographs in it!"
Felicity's cheeks burned.
Nathan now stood in front of Robert, redirecting the path of the minister's glare from Felicity to him.
"You, sir will leave my dwelling immediately!" Nathan growled angrily.
Fine! its vest we do go rather than spending a moment more in this place of sin.
Robert turned on the former priest.
You can't have both, Nathan... Which do you choose? to be an upright man of God, if so, get it together and marry her! Or do you choose to continue under this woman's direction and have loose morals?
The sneer he gave Felicity reminded the priest of Sinclaire. Nathan snapped, pulling back his right fist, blindly aiming for Robert's jaw.
The hit connected, making a loud popping noise as Robert was sent unceremoniously to his back.
Nathan felt slight triumph as the last bully he'd smacked some sense into had been Alfred Tatton.
Gingerly touching his jaw, Robert glared at Nathan.
He fully intended to let the priest have it, but something stopped him.
He got up, continuing to glare at Nathan.
This is where we say goodbye to both of you!
He glared again at Felicity.
Fanny will no longer have any contact with you outside of working at the hospital. Breaking vows breaks friendships... not to mention marriages" he scowled at both of them.
Both women looked at each other and then at Robert with frightened looks on their faces... They had come to be so close in such a short time... How would they work together without talking to each other?
Robert frowned harshly. Truly he was sorry for breaking his beloved's heart; but if those in the faith set a wrong example for them, despite the fact that society accepted such behavior, was there to be no consequence?
But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
Father forgive me for being so harsh, especially to such dear friends, but I see no other way to keep Fanny and I safe- They made a promise...and they broke it!
He who is without sin cast the first stone...
Robert's face flamed. How often had he acted on an impulse and kissed Fanny's cheek? And just yesterday he had nearly kissed Fanny on her lips before Mrs. Nash barreled into the hallway!
*But they went much further than that! They are our example!*
Another stab of conviction tore into Robert's stomach; He and Fanny had set a date- aside from their schedules and Nathan's needing permission from the Vatican in Rome to leave the priesthood, Robert and Fanny themselves had been first to set the date for their wedding; thus mandating them as the ones to set the example of proper conduct during their engagement.
Nathan and Felicity had made one mistake. By God's grace had not been led into temptation to go too far too soon.
"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
it wasn't fair of Robert to hold their mistake against them, since both had been repentant and confessed to their mistakes. It was now up to Fanny and Robert to forgive them and move on.
Shaking off his previous thoughts, Robert continued to frown. He laughed bitterly.
"This was to be a joyous occasion. Fanny and I are getting married on Saturday; we were hoping to facilitate your home, Felicity, and ask you both to stand with us as we share our hearts and vows together!" He shook his head.
"But now…" He shook his head and looked at Felicity. "Until you can decide what type of woman you are, Fanny will not have any association with you outside of working at the hospital."
Both women let out sobs of heartbreak and fear
"Yes you said that before" Felicity sobbed. "What brought you to this decision?"
When the mirror tells us we're older,
I will hold you
Robert sneered again. "For a priest's wife you don't read much do you? Titus 2 says that the older women shall teach the younger women…. And by the example you have set by acting as the woman of Proverbs 7, its obvious you cannot be trusted!"
WHACK! There was a loud, continuous popping sound as Nathan attempted to tear his brother in Christ Reverend Robert Camden limb from limb.
NATHAN, STOP! NATHAN! Felicity shrieked.
The priest, red in the face turned his fierce glare on his beloved.
He will Never say that about you! EVER!
And I will be here to watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here
He turned his glare to Fanny, who was sobbing.
He then got up, noticing that Robert was groaning in pain.
Pity.
Nathan, your brother's actions are not without malice, but heed My words I said upon the mount. When thine brother doth strike thee upon thy left cheek, turn unto him thy right cheek also."
Nathan allowed Robert to get up, the two glaring at each other as the latter stood.
Nathan put out his hand to make amends.
Robert scoffed. "I don't think so Father" he growled. "Whats the matter? Afraid I'll tell your boss?"
I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me
I- I will be here
Nathan grimaced. Felicity glared. "That's quite enough" she snapped. "Bishop Tolbot has nothing to do with this altercation and your monstrous behavior, sir. Leave my fiancee alone!"
"As I said before… are you a woman of Proverbs 7, or Proverbs 31 and Titus 2? Men are visual beings, Your Ladyship, why do you think that Fanny and I live in separate homes until we are married?"
And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetime's are made for years
So, I I will be here
Something occurred to Nathan then, a realization that Robert was afraid of himself and his self control, or lack thereof.
Nathan recalled the first night they all had partaken in discussion and a stay over.
Robert hadn't seemed to mind when Nathan admitted to cuddling with Felicity, but had that been a faux pas?
Nathan knew in his heart he and Felicity had committed no sin, and yet he flushed when he recalled last night's affair and their flirtatious banter.
It was by the grace of God that Felicity had gotten poison ivy, and that Nathan was there to help her, but Nathan could also see that Robert was also correct.
They felt married! They loved each other and their family- but being married in spirit, and married under the eyes of God and witnesses were two different matters entirely.
Unless they stopped now, and brought Christ and His leadership fully into their union and consented to his guidance in their relations with one another, they would end in ruin.
If they broke a promise to friends to be accountable in their physical relationship, whats to say that either one or both wouldn't stumble, fall, and break their marriage vows?
Nathan was a minister- he had to lead his wife and his family in the ways of the Lord.
Ax her betrothed, instead of giving into suggestion by circumstance, he should invited her inside for supper and volunteered to drive the cart back to the mansion, escorting her to the safety of her home.
And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetime's are made for years
So, I I will be here
Instead they had partaken of the rich food, related in a dangerous way, and were now facing harsh consequences.
Yet if the roles were reversed, would Nathan do everything in his power to protect Felicity from himself?
As the fire raged throughout his body, shame overcame his need and desires- of course he would!
A desire stronger than his lust for his fiancee overcame him- the need for restoration and forgiveness.
Nathan was wrong. Felicity was also wrong. They hadn't said no, and had been a hairsbreadth away from doing irreversible damage to their marriage and their future.
we'll be together
FB/LF
Help me Lord Jesus. I want to be with her physically, emotionally, spiritually… I want to protect her but that is what you are doing already. You always have! I pray you would forgive me for breaking my promise to Robert- he needs accountability and encouragement- if I am doing what he wants to do with Fanny, I am worse than he, because I am giving in to my desires while he is fighting every step every day to keep he and his wife pure… restore us Lord Jesus I pray…
It all happened in slow motion- Nathan was praying. Robert was still angry and ordered Fanny to come along
Fanny refused politely, saying they couldn't leave if Robert didn't calm down.
Robert stalked off angrily towards the road, not seeing the car that was heading full speed in his direction- the driver blissfully unaware until it was too late…
The car tires screeched as the horn blared…. *CRASH*
"ROBERT!"
I will be here
What do you think? More to come soon!
"Cast"
Mrs. Nash- Mrs. Doris Collins|Deborah Kennedy
Jake and Sarah Derstan - Prince Philip, Princess Margaret| Matt Smith, Vanessa Kirby
Nicholas and Claudia Derstan - Duke of Windsor/ Wallis Simpson| Alex Jennings, Lia Williams
Timothy Camden- King George VI| Jared Harris
Martin Camden- Maurice|Kevin Klein
Arthur and Juliet Camden- Adam/Belle|Dan Stevens, Emma Watson
Daniel Quinton- Archie Hopper| Rafael Sabarge
Jane Spooler- Meghan Ory
I Corinthians 7:7-9 NKJV
Romans 8:38-39 KJV