Welcome back everybody!
So little problem, possibly, FF is messin up where it's still cutting out words and sometimes full on sentences. I hopefully found a way around it, so we'll see what happens if that's not the case and it didn't fix it. Fingers crossed this gets fixed, but just to let ya'll know it's not on us, it's just the website.
Anywho, nothing bad this chapter. Just another mention of self harm, but not depicted.
Enjoy and we'll see you on the 15th!
Season 2, Episode 16.
Hilary Tachibana could not believe her ears, eyes or other senses. This whole week she couldn't really. First, after the bitbeasts had been so meanly hiding from her, they finally revealed themselves to her, and now she was the all-knowing oracle of everything beyblade.
But this had been something. The gorgeous, handsome, ridiculously gay Kai had been up against stupid but admittedly kind of cute Tyson, when out of nowhere another blade had come to join the party.
Their hearts stopped, thinking it was someone coming to try and take their beasts. But it was more mind-blowing than that. It had been a friend of Kai's. A friend... That wasn't one of the Bladebreakers...
Did... He had those?!
That hadn't even been the most shocking part. It appeared this friend, Wyatt (weird name, but unique!) had taken Kai's blade and used it without permission. And boy, was Kai still mad about it. After a display of Wyatt pleading with him to help train him, to help him become like him, Kai had sent him packing.
Ray seemed to think it was a broken trust thing... But Hilary's brain was turning...
How desperate Wyatt had been with him. How angry and cold Kai had been... The boys school... The uniforms... The bad boy and the nerdy kid who was in the same dorm...
COULD IT BE?!
She squirmed to herself on the porch as Tyson and Max had another friendly battle while Ray sat with a face like thunder.
She smirked.
Oooooooh the drama! A love triangle! A big, gay love triangle! What would Kai's type even be?! Which one would he go for?! They were both so different.
You had the charismatic, social, athletic and exotic Ray vs. the prim and proper, cute, shy and quiet Wyatt...
Hey! That Rhymed! Quiet Wyatt.
She shook herself. What was she thinking?! She shouldn't be rooting for the intruder! And she wasn't really. It was just OHGOSH she lived for stuff like this! Had the gruff, tough and moody Kai found love in a sweet little mousy boy? Been the one to pull the thorn from the lion's paw?
She side glanced Ray again and smirked so smugly it was sickening. That mouse was going to get eaten by a very angry tiger... At the same time, if the tiger would just man up and do something... Maybe this was the push he needed!
She scooched herself a little closer. "Hello Ray!" She said brightly, "You look a little put down, is everything okay?" She asked innocently.
"Hn?" He barely spared her a second glance as she scooched closer, mind too far gone and growing greener and greener the longer he sat there.
He couldn't remember any Wyatt in any of Kai's letters, and the little twerp stole Dranzer? Did he have a death wish? He couldn't blame Kai for giving the kid the cold shoulder, it was rightfully deserved, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that he was missing something here.
So, they went to the same school and all, Dranzer was snatched and then returned. But what brought Wyatt all the way out here in search of Kai? Was it just to battle him, or was there something else there?
"I saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaid you look a little down, what's up!" She pried more.
"Nothing." He responded quickly, finally giving her a very brief glance. Why was she sitting so close? "Why? I'm not down, I'm perfectly fine."
"Okay! Just checking!" She beamed, kicking her legs a little and seemingly enjoying the early evening air. "Some day huh? Kind of weird meeting a friend of Kai's. I only ever pictured him with you guys. Silly huh?"
This time Ray's head snapped to look at her, how could she say something so insulting? Then he thought about it and who they were talking about, and gave her a pass.
"He's had plenty of other friends before us." Though Kai kept denying they were his friends, he didn't think telling Hilary he used to lead a gang would give him brownie points.
Hilary gave him a look. "That's what I'm saying. I just never pictured it cause he's so... You know..." She landed on, "But I guess they're pretty close. Sounded like he had his phone number and stuff. Very touchy at times..."
"He has all our phone numbers, too." Ray snapped quickly, "And I don't think they're as close as you think, he would have mentioned him if that were the case. And how can you be close with someone who takes your blade and bitbeast?"
Hilary smirked. Tiger was snarling and she loved it. "Wouldn't you need to be pretty close to him to even have the opportunity?"
The cogs turned in his head, what did that mean? Was she trying to say that they roomed together? No, Kai had said he had his own room, had said it was the only good thing about that school.
"Not unless that little twerp just up and snatched it!"
"Oh because the 'little twerp' could outrun Kai?" She countered again, "And besides, seemed like there was a lot more there than just a spat about a beyblade from where I was..."
Ray's brow shot up, what did she hear that he couldn't?! "Like what?" He demanded.
"Just body language and vibes. If he was just a random nobody, I doubt Kai would even have bothered hearing him out. Not to mention how dramatic and heated it got, the looks on their faces... Kai looked upset the whole way home and then skulked off by himself."
"Kai threw him a cold shoulder, didn't even look at him, hardly. It was the other one that was up in Kai's face whining at him. Did, did we not watch the same thing?! Kai skulks off all the time, doubt it had to do with this kid." Ray countered. But what if he had skulked off because of him? Kai looked the same stone faced and angry, it was the other one that was giving looks...
His face grew greener as he sat there, steaming and stewing. Hilary's little implications coming in louder and harder. What if something happened between them while Kai was in school? Was that why Kai never told him about this kid? Were they still together?!
"Gave him the cold shoulder after letting him sweat and plead..." Hilary wagged her finger, "Again, if he was a nobody he wouldn't have given him the time of day. And yes! I know what I saw, I can't believe you didn't! There was a whole story written all over their faces that we don't know about."
Ray's mouth opened only to snap shut, what could he really say to any of that because she was right. If the kid was just a nobody he wouldn't have responded at all and Kai had, even if it was just to tell the kid to get lost.
Had Kai only done that because he didn't want the others to know he was gay? Try to cover up his and the kids relationship? Where HAD Kai skulked off to?!
Hilary leaned back on her hands, ready for the kill strike. "You know, I kinda see it... The broody, silent bad boy and the sweet, brown eyed one... I could see Kai liking the meeker, more feminine type."
Something in Ray's head snapped so hard it felt like he'd just broken, while the rage of green envy filled him it started to fill in with a bit of blue.
He saw it too, last year a lot especially around Oliver.
He knew it, all along, he had no shot and no chance. How silly of him to even think so. He wasn't feminine, his hair didn't count, not when he had the build of an oak tree (as Tyson put it) and was beefy (as Kai put it).
Sinking in on himself he couldn't even bring himself to nod in agreement with her, even if he wanted to agree and argue but what would be the point?
"I... I'm going to get something to drink..." He announced quietly, picking himself up off the porch and heading inside.
Hilary suddenly didn't feel so smug, smile dropping. He looked upset. Like really. Maybe she shouldn't have done that...
Ray stomped his way inside, kicking off his shoes and not bothering to put them neatly like he usually did. He needed some delicious... Refreshing... Cooling water...
He thanked God Gramps wasn't in there. His hand gripped the fridge door and ripped it open, snatching out the bottle of water while his mind delved deeper and harder. He'd said he didn't have any friends there...
His claws came out, scraping against the bottle as he chugged at it furiously. He stopped to swallow and breathe, having almost drunk the whole thing in one go, when he felt a shiver go down his spine.
"Hey..." A dull husky voice came from behind him.
Back tense, hand gripping the water bottle as it crunched in his hold and his claws piercing through the plastic more, Ray let out a small startled yelp as he spun around. Heart beating so hard it hurt, the apparition just hovering in the doorway.
"Don't DO THAT!" He near enough cried as all his hair stood on end.
Kai stopped. "Do what? I just said hello..." He grumbled as he eyed the bottle, "What you do that for?"
"I didn't hear you so you scared me, you're too quiet sometimes.." Ray answered as he went to unlatch the bottle from his fingers and claws, "Like I did this on purpose..." He grumbled as he set himself free and frowned at the bit of water squirting out and onto the floor.
Kai snorted. "What happened to that hearing of yours?"
"Doesn't always work when my heads too loud." He answered, getting a towel and throwing it down over the water on the floor.
"Where have you been anyways?" He asked, rubbing the towel with his foot along the floor while retracting his claws.
Kai frowned. What a weird thing to say. "Got a headache? And just in here, why?"
"No, I'm fine." He lied, he was anything but fine at the moment but how did he just go about telling him what was bothering him?
"Just wondering..." He sighed in an answer as the angry green washed away with the blue again, snatching up the towel and plopping it down on the counter by the sink before tossing the hole-y water bottle away.
Pressing his back into the counter where he could face Kai again he just stared at him, hurt evident on his face as the blue came over him in waves.
Why hadn't he just told him? It would have hurt, but he would have been fine later on. Wasn't like Kai knew how much he loved him. Did he just not trust him anymore?
With the flood of questions coming back in he started to feel the beginnings of a headache to add to the heartbreak. Still at a loss on how to even bring it up without being obvious he was upset about the whole thing.
Kai's face fell to worried, "Ray, what's wrong?" He asked as he took him in looking like something horrible had happened.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" He broke, unable to contain it anymore. He just hoped he didn't cry.
"I wouldn't have told anyone, you should know me better than that, and I would have been happy for you if Wyatt makes you happy. So why didn't you just tell me about him?"
Kai's brows went up and down every few seconds while he tried to translate what he said. Still had no clue.
"What are you talking about?"
"Wyatt?" Ray stressed, "You didn't mention him once in your letters, saying you had no friends at all while you were there, making me worried about you, when you've had a boyfriend all this time!" Ray snapped angrily, a little thankful it stopped the tears he felt building up.
Kai choked on his spit. "Boyfriend?! The fuck was in that water!?"
"Probably some lead, but don't try and change the subject." Ray cut over, "Why didn't you tell me about him?" He questioned, again.
Kai twitched from head to toe. "He is not my boyfriend!" He screeched like a bird of prey, "Where the hell did you get an idea like that?!"
It felt like his brain had broken again until for a few seconds all he heard was static coming in and out. The urge to jump and shout for joy coming in quick once he was back on earth with them all, though still just blankly looked at Kai before he coiled back into the counter behind him.
"...Hilary..." He answered as he looked away from him, "But that still doesn't answer my question!" He cut back over himself quickly.
"You didn't once mention him, why not?"
Kai shifted, feeling his whole body tense inside and out. "Why would I!?" He snapped hard, "He isn't relevant here at all!"
"Well he is now!" Ray argued back.
Kai got visibly angrier. "Still none of your damn business!"
"Why?" Ray questioned, "The kid shows up from nowhere and expects to battle you, after he took Dranzer from you. Which you didn't tell me either. None of us know who he is to you, aside from that you two went to school. You said you had nobody there, so what gives Kai?"
"Because I didn't!" He yelled back, lying a little. "He's not my friend! You just said it yourself! He stole from me!"...After thinking they were friends.
"Then what do we do if he comes back around?" Ray asked as he settled more against the counter.
"He won't! If he has any sense!" He shouted angrily as his eyes flashed with hurt.
"What happened?" Ray spoke softly this time, sensing something was off with him.
Kai made an irate face. "He stole Dranzer!"
Ray sighed, "Yeah, I know. But like, why?"
"I don't even really know! He stole her to fight Dunga in my place! Something to prove I guess..." He spat as he folded his arms.
Ray just nodded a little back to him, "So, is that why you broke up with him?"
Kai almost burst a blood vessel. "WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WERE A COUPLE!" He screamed at him, "What!? I'm gay so just date whatever guy crosses my path!?"
"No! That's not what I was saying!" Ray flapped quickly, "I'm still wondering why you just didn't tell me about him!"
Kai wanted to hit something. "I didn't think it was necessary! That's all!"
Ray held his hands up, "Okay. I'm sorry."
Kai threw him a look before turning on his heel and walking out and quickly. Why? Why did Wyatt have to show up and come looking for him? If it was just to apologize for what happened, that would have been different. But he'd had the audacity to ask him for training yet again...
Was that all Wyatt had wanted from him? Befriended him just in hopes of learning stuff he had spent his life perfecting? He skulked to an empty room upstairs and took himself to a quiet place, letting his mind go back to the start.
Kai kept his head down with his bag over his shoulder as he made his way back to his room. Just like every day, he tried not to make eye contact with, or any contact for that matter, with anyone...
"Hey KAI!"
...But someone was making that a difficult task. The bouncy brown eyed boy hauled ass to catch up with him.
"Hey! You have a good day!? I am beat... You wanna come to the dining hall with me?" He asked at warp speed.
"No."
Wyatt's face fell. He deserved that. He knew that. Their first meeting was essentially him fawning over his blading skills and asking him outright for free training. No wonder he'd been put off by him. He'd been rude and not very nice.
He'd just gotten over excited to meet his hero in the flesh and vomited words.
"Ahhh come on! I swear I won't even mention the B-word..." He tried to tempt.
Kai's brow arched. "B-word?"
"Yeh. Beyblades..."
Kai blinked. "...Then what would be the point?"
Wyatt snorted a little. "Excuse me?"
"What would you want my company for if not to talk about that?" Kai asked in a flat and impatient voice, wanting to leave the situation.
"Well... Because you're more than a beyblader, right?" He said pointedly, trying to start patching up his earlier mistake.
Kai paused. Even though that was what had annoyed him at first, it begged the question. Was he?
He shrugged and kept walking.
Wyatt deflated. "Kai, please?" He called after him, "Everyone needs someone. Especially in a place like this... If you decide you don't like me, then fine. But at least give me a chance?" He pleaded.
Kai stopped walking. He didn't want to stop. But loneliness made him...
"...Thirty minutes."
Wyatt's face lit up, trotting to stand next to him and walk beside him.
"Awesome! What's your favorite meal from the canteen? Mine's the lasagna! It isn't as good as the one I had in Italy, but up there!"
A small smirk cracked on Kai's face. Italy...
"...I've been to Italy too..."
Wyatt smiled with his mouth, eyes and everything else. Great! Something in common!
"Oh yeh? I went to Rome and Venice. What about you?"
"Rome... Was there last year with the team..."
Wyatt lit up more. He was talking! Really talking! This thirty minute trial was going to go well. He just knew it.
Kai sighed in his little corner. So much for being more than a blader. He'd been stupid enough to think maybe, by some miracle, someone wanted to be his friend.
Downstairs, back in the kitchen, Ray stood tapping his foot impatiently as the coffee dripped into the pot he'd gone and cleaned out and prepared. His way of an apology for prying when he shouldn't have. If Kai didn't just toss the boiling lava-hot liquid on him instead.
He felt horrible, having brought up something like Kai having Dranzer stolen from him, but felt a whole lot more relieved to know that Wyatt wasn't even competition now. He already didn't stand a chance against Oliver and the rest of the population of the world, and one less person to worry about was a weight off his shoulders.
With the coffee done, after taking its sweet ass time, and in a mug and a package of cookies, Ray made his way up the stairs to go and offer his gifts of apology. Coming up to the door and room Kai always holed himself away inside of when he was upset, though it really was a better alternative than him walking off for hours on end.
Holding the bag of cookies between his teeth to free up one hand, he simply let himself into the room and kicked the door shut behind him as he held the bag of cookies up once he let it go from his mouth.
"I bring gifts."
Red devil eyes opened from the shadowy corner, like the mopey goblin he was, sniffing the air when hints of the roasted aroma hit his nose.
"You want some?" Ray asked as he stepped up to the bed, holding both of his offerings out to him with a crooked grin.
Kai eyed it with his stroppy face. But he really did...
Ray huffed irritably at him, why couldn't he just take the coffee at least?
"Okay, I'll just take them back downstairs." He threatened with his grin, ponytail swishing behind him as he turned.
Kai let out a growl/hiss from his throat, scooching out of his shadows on his butt. His Precious...
Ray's ears twitched at the noise, his grin getting broader as he looked over his shoulder at Kai with a glint in his eyes.
"All you have to do is say please." He threw at him as the memory hit him like a bus.
Kai pouted. "Please."
Ray lit up, turning back around and passing him the mug off coffee as he crawled up onto the bed with him with the bag of cookies.
"I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to upset you or jump to conclusions." ...Again, it seemed.
Kai wrapped his hands round it, legs crossed as he brought it up to blow on it. "It's okay..."
Ray nodded a little, popping open the bag of cookies he'd stolen and dug in before holding one out to Kai.
"And I'm sorry he took Dranzer from you, I'm just glad you got her back."
Kai shrugged. "Guess me of all people can't be too upset about it."
"No, you can be and you should be. He had no right, regardless of what you did in the past. Nobody deserves to have their blade or bit stolen from them, or any of their property taken." Ray said pointedly as he nibbled on the cookie he'd gotten himself, keeping the one out for Kai held between them.
Kai took it from him finally. "Yeh..." He said halfheartedly, "Yeh. Anyway. Doesn't matter now. Got her back."
"True." Ray smiled, throwing himself down on the bed beside him as he nibbled on another cookie.
"You okay though, like really, after seeing him again?" He asked, the worry laced in his tone as he looked up at him from where he lay.
Kai took a sip and sighed. Honestly? No. He had to turn Wyatt down... But he hadn't expected Wyatt to be so feisty about it. The apology quickly turned to anger in him once he rejected him. Which had pissed him off and made him tell him he'd never be good enough to beat him.
"Yeh, I guess..."
"Want me to punch him?" Ray asked between bites of his cookie, "Can finally be initiated into the Blade Sharks."
Kai snorted in to his coffee. "Heh, no... He's fine. Let him go."
"Awwww, kinda wanted to." Ray pouted playfully, "You still need to come up with something for me to do, by the way."
Kai set his cup down and rubbed his face. "Can we not?" He asked softly. He didn't want to think about any of the past crap. Joke or not.
"Yeah, sorry." Ray apologized again as he shifted on the bed beside him, not sure what else to say to him or even really do at the moment. He really didn't care to see Kai so down though, and all over somebody he claimed there wasn't any type of connection with.
Kai flopped himself down, rolling ungracefully to lay down and get in next to Ray, the rustling of the blankets only filling the silence a few more seconds. Ray grinned a little at him, shifting onto his side to face him as he tucked a hand under his head and pulled out another cookie for them.
"Cookie?" He grinned more like a dumbass, holding it up between them as his cheeks turned a little pink with how close they were.
Kai smirked back, leaning forward and taking it out his hand with his teeth. The faint pink turned into full blown red and burned slightly, his throat going dry to the point the coffee he'd brought Kai actually sounded good right now. Quickly he stuffed his mouth with his own cookie before it did, or said, something stupid.
Kai felt the awkward too. And hated it. His hand jut out, snatching the bag of cookies from him.
"Steady now, Tyson..."
"Excuse you?!" Ray growled, not just for the jab but because Kai had the audacity to go and take his cookies! "I stole those fair and square, now give them back." He demanded as he motioned with his fingers for the bag.
Kai stretched his arm all the way out, stretching his body as well. "And I stole these fair and square..."
"I was sharing, why would you steal from me?" Ray about whined, though put his hand to Kai's chest quickly and gave a small push that rocked him.
"Give them back or your ass is going to end up on the floor." He threatened with a playful glint in his eyes and a fanged smirk cracking along his face.
The push was more effective against his light body than Ray anticipated, teetering over the edge. He held his arm back. "Not a cha-ANNCE!" He yelped as he disappeared over the side of the bed.
Ray belted out a laugh, shuffling to the edge and peering down at Kai on the floor below him. "You okay?" He laughed at him, the look on Kai's face only making him laugh harder.
Kai looked up and glared. "Yes! Asshole!" He said as he picked himself up to crawl back on.
"Says the guy who took my cookies." Ray rolled his eyes and laughed harder, putting his hands out onto Kai's shoulders and pushed him back away from the bed, watching his ass bump onto the floor again.
"Nope, pay the toll first then you can come back up here with me."
Kai narrowed his eyes more, unable to fight against the push. But he had something else... By the feel of the bag, there weren't many cookies left.
His hand went in the bag, lo and behold only feeling one left. He held the cookie up. "You mean this?"
Ray narrowed his eyes at him and the cookie suspiciously, "That's the last one, isn't it?" He asked in a knowing tone.
Kai opened his mouth, shoving it in with a satisfying crunch. "Mmmmmhmmmmm!"
Ray's brows furrowed as his mouth hung slightly as he watched Kai bite into the cookie, that was his!
"You asshole!" With a little wiggle on the bed he pounced off it, tackling Kai to the ground. "You could have at least broke it in half." He whined as he sat over his waist.
Kai grinned despite his body smacking on the floor. "Still half leffffttt!" He offered, waving it in the air.
Ray's hand went out, pinning Kai's arm to the floor and prying the cookie out of his hold and popped it into his own mouth. His other hand quickly snatching Kai's and pressing it down onto the floor above his head with the other one.
"Why do you always gotta make things so difficult?" He playfully pouted once he'd eaten the cookie.
Kai fought making a face as a chaffing sting burned his skin. "Dunno. Just me..." He said mindlessly.
"That is true." Ray grinned down at him, gripping a little harder to keep him pinned even though he knew Kai wouldn't be able to push him off.
Kai's brow went, trying to subtly suck in air through his teeth when the stinging got worse.
"You... You okay?" Ray asked, letting up some of the pressure he had put down on him once he noticed the face Kai was making. He wasn't putting on all his weight, if he had he'd probably snap Kai in half, but by Kai's face and the sharp intake of air it was like he'd been hurting him.
"Yeh! Fine!" He forced out a little overly bubbly with a smile.
Ray gave him a look, not believing him as he put that extra weight back down on Kai's wrists as a terrible and horrible thought and feeling slipped down into the pit of his gut. Kai held his eyes and his breath in his throat, trying to look unbothered when the raw stinging got even worse.
Ray stared for more than he should have into Kai's eyes, the horrible feeling getting stronger as a silence came over them. Without warning he shot back up onto his waist, pulling his right hand and arm up with him as he released the left and went for the glove. Yanking it off quickly and throwing it away from him, twisting Kai's hand around as he tore his eyes away from Kai's to the pale skin.
That horrible feeling only multiplied as he took in the raw and reddened flesh around the thin cuts and lines that went from one side of Kai's wrist to the other, almost covering the skin and over the old as his breath caught in his throat.
Kai felt his skin heat up, yanking to try and get it free and Ray off him so he could bolt.
"...Why didn't you tell me?" Ray asked in that same tone he had back down in the kitchen, his watering eyes not coming away from the hour old marks.
Was this what Kai went skulking off to do when they got back? Because of Wyatt or just because something got too heavy for him to handle?
"Because it's fine..." Kai muttered back, still gently pulling and refusing to look at him.
He wanted to slap him for that, though didn't dare let go of Kai's arm as his eyes welled up harder.
"It's not FINE!" He snapped out angrily, turning his eyes up to Kai's that weren't looking back. "How long have you been doing this again? And don't lie to me!"
Kai winced again and sank under him, keeping his eyes down, feeling them about to go. "A while..."
"But why?!" Ray's voice scratched out, "We're right here, I'M right here! Y-you promised, you promised you'd come and talk to me."
"And I thought that would make it all stop but it didn't!" He yelled back at him, ignoring the rest.
"Of course it's not going to stop anything! Because you're not solving the problem, you're just creating more!"
"There is no solving it, Ray! Don't even pretend to know what you're talking about!" He cried at him angrily.
"How do you know there's no solving it? Have you even tried?!" He accused as he slammed Kai's arm back down onto the floor, grabbing the other again and pinning him down.
"And you're right, I don't understand why you'd go off and purposely hurt yourself when you're already hurting. The idea alone sounds redundant and stupid given you can hit a vein and bleed out! So which is worse, talking about it or taking a blade to your wrist and possibly doing that?!"
Kai stayed quiet a minute, mostly because he knew Ray wouldn't like his answer. "Cause I don't know what to tell you!" He strained as he finally lifted his streaming eyes at him.
"Then why would you do this if you don't even know why you did it!?" Ray near enough yelled, more angry than upset now.
Kai let out his own frustrated growl. "That's not what I said! See! Trying to talk to you is pointless! You don't get it! I know how I feel I just can't explain it to you!"
"You didn't even try!" Ray reminded in another growl, pushing himself off Kai's waist and getting off him, pressing his back against the bed behind him to try and calm down.
Yelling wasn't going to get them far, accusing him wasn't going to help, but he didn't know what else to do.
"Have you been doing this since we got back together?" He asked in a slightly calmer tone.
Kai forced himself to sit up, chest hiccuping some as he nodded at him.
"So you lied to me, back on the island..." Ray affirmed before another, more frustrated, growl tore out of his throat and he pushed at his bangs to get them out of his face.
"Dammit Kai! Why would you lie to me?"
"I'm sorry!" He yelled back hoarsely.
Ray shook his head at him, "I don't want that..." He choked back before his face got angry again, "I want you to stop this before you kill yourself!"
Kai mirrored him and shook his head back. "It isn't that simple..."
"Then help me understand so I can help you, or someone else if you can't talk to me. I just don't want to see you hurt, or worse."
Kai's head shaking turned to a nod, not wanting to verbally promise anything again but keep Ray happy. Ray sighed out heavily, pressing his back more into the bed for the support he felt he needed as it went quiet between them aside from their soft sniffling.
He just wanted to see him okay, have him be okay, and maybe he was fixing to bite off more than he could chew with it, he didn't just want to abandon him and let Kai deal with it on his own though.
"C'mere..." He sniffed, holding his arms up and gesturing Kai over.
In a flash, Kai crawled over as fast as he could and fell in, wriggling and shifting to almost wrestle Ray to the floor so he could get in to his position laying on top like he had in Russia.
Once he was on his back, Kai over the top of him, Ray's fingers went into the back of his hair as he nestled his face in the top of the two-toned mop. A small purr coming out of him as he held Kai to his chest tightly, fingers getting a mind of their own in the silence.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry at you like that." He spoke softly, burying the side of his face in Kai's hair and somehow holding him closer. "I want to be able to help, but you have to let me."
Kai nodded in to him. "I didn't mean to lie... I panicked! I couldn't tell you!" He cried in to him.
"It's okay... It's going to be okay." Ray cooed gently, rubbing Kai's back with his free hand. Though he hardly felt his own words convincing enough as it were in a situation like this.
None of this was okay, and he wasn't even sure if he could make it okay or not. The least he could do was try though, he couldn't lose him like this.
Kai sadly didn't believe him either. Not really. But the comfort was incredibly welcomed. He tried to push himself in to him harder, be closer and held tighter.
With the silence, Ray's head was anything but. Even if the answers he was seeking wouldn't undo what had already been done, maybe knowing what set Kai off would help him or stop him from doing it again. He really didn't have much to lose, when he thought about it, but the last thing he wanted to do was set Kai off again.
Shifting under Kai's bony body, turning down the noise in his head he twirled some dark strands around his fingers.
"What happened this time? Was it because of seeing him again or something else?" He finally voiced, his throat a little dry from yelling and crying at him earlier.
Kai pressed his head in to him tighter, trying to think how to explain it all. "It wasn't seeing him per se, it was why he came..."
"Because he asked you to train him?" Ray supplied, keeping his fingers in Kai's hair for now just because he didn't know where else to put his hands at the moment.
Kai nodded. "He didn't come see me because he was worried or wanted to see me. He came all the way here after months of nothing, 'cause he wanted something from me..." His voice tremored. Why did that cut as bad as it did?
"Was he always like this?" Ray asked, feeling angry and hurt for him. Who did this kid think he was treating Kai like this? Steals his blade and then comes back just to ask him to train him?
"Apparently they don't teach manners at those rich preppy schools, do they?" He voiced aloud.
Kai lifted his head and made a dull face, pointing at himself as exhibit A.
Ray chuckled a little at him, "You have manners, so don't even." He playfully scolded, "But seriously, how did you even meet him? Aside from school, of course."
Kai lifted himself up with a sigh, sitting up on his waist. "He saw me like the day I arrived. Went off like a fanboy and asked outright if I'd show him some techniques. I ignored him, obviously... He bugged me at every turn apologizing saying he just kinda got over excited cause he was a fan. Would not let up and insisted he wanted to start again, begged me to give him a chance. So eventually I did and he never mentioned blading really. For a while, til Dunga showed up at least."
Ray blinked a little up at him, letting his words sink in as he frowned again. "So even after being your friend, after you gave him the chance to hang around you, he went off and took Dranzer anyways?" He asked in an angrier tone. Why had Kai let this kid live at all after treating him like that?
Kai nodded. "Like I said, think he wanted to prove something... Just cause we were friends and he didn't bring it up didn't mean the goal to be as good as me wasn't there." He shrugged.
"And I can understand that, but like you already said. He hasn't reached out until now, all because he hit a wall with his training and assumed you would help him. Kind of friend does that? Hell, we were countries apart and we still managed to keep in touch." He seemed to scoff back, "You sure you don't want me to punch him?"
What Ray said just reinforced exactly how he felt. He shook his head, feeling his eyes fill up again. "S'fine. My own stupid fault, I guess..." His choky voice tried to say as naturally as possible and fight it.
Sitting up, Ray took Kai's ungloved hand in his gently. "No, it's not. It's not your fault there are shitty people in the world, but he's not worth this." He said, gently turning Kai's arm over and revealing the cuts again. Despite just seeing them, it wasn't any easier seeing them again.
"Nobody is worth hurting yourself over. Get angry, or upset all you like, but it shouldn't come to this."
Kai sniffled as the fight to keep it back started to lose. "I... I thought I was his friend..." He cracked.
"I'm so sorry." Ray whispered, not wanting to see Kai breaking down sitting on his legs like this. "It's not your fault though, it's his for treating you like this when you gave him a chance and he's too stupid to see what he's missing in having a friend like you."
"I should never have given him the chance!" He spat, upset. "He just kept on trying to apologize and insisted he acted the way he did at first cause he got a little star struck! We didn't live in each other's pockets; it wasn't like this or anything..." He said as he gestured between the two of them.
"When we did hang out we kind of hid somewhere so people wouldn't see him with me. We had some stuff in common, but sometimes just did homework together... But there was someone there for me! And I really believed he grew to like me some... How could I let a guy like him pull the wool over my eyes?"
"Because you were alone, you wanted the company and took what came your way. To you it felt like he really cared, and maybe he does in his own way even if right now he's showing otherwise. If anything, just talk to him. Find out what his deal is, and if he's not the person you thought he was then walk away."
Kai sniffed again and nodded. Ray was right... As usual. Just hurt. A lot.
"Don't know how much of a comfort this is, but you still have us. Right?" Ray asked in a slightly brighter tone, trying to perk him up even if just a little.
Kai nodded harder. "I know. And it is. Don't know what I'd do without you."
"Neither do I, so this has to stop. Okay? Please?" He begged as he gripped Kai's hand in his gently.
Kai stared back at him, feeling a stir. But a good one. "Okay..." He said quietly, still nodding that hadn't really stopped.
Smiling at him, a little surprised his words actually sunk in this time, he let go of Kai's hand and threw his arms up around his shoulders and pulled him closer. The need to comfort Kai coming in strong, not even caring that his face was lit up as if he had a sunburn, or the pain his heart was causing him from beating so fast as he brushed their noses together before moving into Kai's neck as he held him around the back in a hug.
Kai froze up, face hanging at the unexpected... Whatever Ray was doing. Was sort of like what Ro did- His own face heat up, mind taking him back to the night of the storm. Ray telling him how his people expressed affection...
His face softened. Suddenly, everything felt mended. But the question was, how did he respond?
He held perfectly still while Ray's head rubbed against his neck until he came away, eyes finally meeting. He gave him a small smile back, leaning down to press their foreheads together. He wasn't sure if he was doing it right, but he hoped at least the message was translating.
A breathless laugh left Ray's throat, hand going up to hold the back of Kai's neck as he pressed in tighter all the while his heart kept trying to break free. The colors of their eyes looked enormous from being so close up.
"I uh. Feel stupid." Kai chuckled at him.
"Why?" Ray chuckled back, not sure if he liked where this might be going though didn't pull away from him.
"Well, it isn't like I normally do this. Am I even doing it right?" He asked.
"Not like I do this often either, outside the village at least. But yeah, close enough." Ray answered, his thumb on the back of Kai's neck gently brushing against the pale skin.
Kai finally pulled his head off him, assuming his position again. "Good..."