Throw Me to The Wolves & I Will Return Leading the Pack
Summary:Morgan, the newest member of SVU hasn't had much luck with men, but her new partner might just be the one for her, if only she could let Sonny Carisi know. Men come much easier to her friend Riley, who's maybe not prepared for the challenge that Peter Stone provides.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Law and Order SVU, Morgan and Riley however are all mine.
Chapter 33:
"Are you sure you're okay right now, we don't have to go through with this?" Peter murmured against her shoulder as Riley curled up against his chest. She let out a contented sigh and reached back, taking hold of his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"I want that little girl, so damn bad." Riley said in whisper but that didn't make her voice sound any less confident.
The idea of adopting this baby had been a very real thing to her for quite a while before they had actually made it out to Chicago to meet Mackenzie. Peter hadn't been sure Riley was handling things as well as she presented to him, but yet he hadn't been completely worried about her, he knew how much she really did want this. They had discussed the pros and cons for a long time before he had even ventured into asking his old connections for a favour, especially so soon after they had lost their baby but Riley had easily convinced him that they needed this baby to become part of their family, they needed to give this baby a home with two loving parents.
They could do that, they could definitely do that.
"I know, I'm just making sure you're still good with this …it's not too late to go back on this." Peter pointed out and Riley stiffened in his hold. So what if her own pregnancy hadn't entirely been that great of an experience- in fact it had been a hellish nightmare, but that didn't mean she was going to replace that loss with this baby. She would love this baby as if it was her own.
Sure, it'd be a lot of work but she was ready, she wanted this baby, she had wanted this baby from the second he had told her about it. She even had a name picked out and everything: Samantha Ann, and just because she wasn't going to be biologically theirs, it didn't mean Riley's feelings were going to change. Riley had explained this to Peter but it had been more for her own comfort than anything because Peter wanted this too.
"We're supposed to go and get Sam today, even if you think it's possible that we can still back out, that's not happening." Riley grumbled and stretched her legs out, then proceeded to do the same with her arms. When her arms were in the air, his palm came down and rested on her side, giving her a reassuring squeeze as he kissed her shoulder.
"I'm not against it Ry, I just know how you are, and I want to make sure you're really okay with this. Technically this is our last morning alone, and I'm okay with that, I'm not saying I'm not, but you're prone to anxiety and tomorrow we'll have Sam, it's a lot to deal with in such a short period of time."
"I know." She said solemnly. Preparing for Sam had been hard but she had managed to get the spare bedroom set up for the baby. It felt weird though, weird for a number of reasons. Number one, it wasn't like Riley had the usual allotted time to get used to the idea of becoming a mother, no, she had five months to get the bedroom ready for this baby. Number two, well, number two caused her the most anxiety because they were banking on a teenager handing off her baby to them.
What if Mackenzie changed her mind, what if she decided she wanted to keep the baby and raise it? Riley knew that sometihng like that was possible, she just hoped and prayed that it wouldn't happen, but she also understood that giving up a baby would be a lot harder than anyone could ever imagine and Mackenzie was just a kid.
"You're my primary concern right now." Peter stated, pulling her out of her thoughts. "I want to make sure that you're okay."
"I know." Riley repeated her words softly and rolled onto her back, his hand running over her abdomen as she moved. "I want this though, I want us to have Sam, I want to love her like my own child- no I will love her like my own child because that's exactly what she'll be. She'll be ours."
Peter relaxed into the pillows and shifted closer to her, Riley turned her head to face him directly and took her bottom lip in between her teeth, wondering if he wasn't as ready as he seemed to let on. Honestly, she couldn't really blame him, the idea of them all of a sudden having a baby was terrifying, neither one of them was really prepared, but it wasn't going to stop them.
"I just want you to be happy." He murmured, her eyes staring into his, the all too familiar sparkle in her brown orbs making his heart pick up in pace just that tiny bit more than usual. "If this is what's going to make you happy then I'm ready too."
She lifted her hand up and moved her palm to rest against the side of his jaw, "I want this, and I want it with you."
Peter gently dropped his head down and rested his forehead against hers. He knew that he was going to do whatever she wanted, especially when it came to having a family. He wanted Sam just as bad, even if the news of her existence had come up unexpectedly. He just wasn't entirely sure that Riley would be able to handle it all. Tomorrow morning they'd wake up and have to be responsible for another life and while Sam was everything that they wanted, it's not like Riley had a lot of experience with babies.
Sure she had hung out with Morgan and Michael but it's not like she had ever looked after Michael for more than an evening or an afternoon, mere hours at a time. Riley had never experienced a baby crying at all hours of the night and being extremely tired during the day while trying to look after it- hell, even Peter had never experienced any of that and he wasn't going to deny that he wasn't a little, tiny bit scared of what they were about to jump into.
In less than twenty-four hours there would be a baby to look after and while Peter had confidence in the two of them, he was also aware that Riley didn't handle stressful situations all that well. What would happen to her if the baby started crying and wouldn't stop, no matter what Riley tried? Would he come home from work to find her in a heap with the baby, both of them just crying? That mental picture alone made him cringe ever so slightly.
On the bright side, Riley was doing really well on her anti-anxiety medication and her panic attacks were virtually non-existent. Having a baby in the house might trigger something in her though, and Peter was scared of that very thing happening.
"It's not just going to be us anymore." Peter pointed out, his voice low and soothing.
"If I'm honest here, I think I've had enough alone time with you." She teased and when he leveled her with an offended look, the smile on her face fell. Okay maybe now wasn't the time for joking, maybe now was the time for reassurances. "I'm seriously just kidding here Peter. I love you, so damn much; nothing's going to change that."
"You're prepared to sacrifice things-"
"Yes!" She cut him off and rolled her eyes. "If it means I have to give up taking you to bed early, or pretty much any time I want, and seducing you while the television is on, then I will gladly give that poor baby girl a home. She deserves someone who will love her too, don't you think?"
"She's the luckiest little girl in the world, as anyone would be with you as their mother." Peter remarked and Riley studied his eyes for a few seconds, wondering where his kind words were coming from. He was always nice to her but that…that had been the most adorable thing he had said to her since she had learned of the existence of Sam.
She realized that he was being genuine with what he had said, and she let out a breath, turning to face him, chest to chest, forehead against forehead. He was it for her, he was the man she loved, the father of any children (adopted or biological) that they'd have, Peter was her end game and wasn't it about time to take their lives to the next level?
"Well, you'll be right by my side, the whole way, you're going to be her father." She smiled at him and Peter leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss against her lips. When he pulled away, her hand moved around to the back of his neck and she ran her fingers over his skin. "What do you say we get up, have a shower, maybe grab something to eat and go get Sam?"
"I think that sounds like a great idea. Maybe we can stop somewhere and get this baby a 'welcome to the family' present?"
"Like all that stuff in the bedroom down the hall isn't enough?" She beamed up at him and Peter took in the sight of her. There wasn't a minute that went by that he wasn't grateful for the woman lying next to him and now he was excited to bring home their darling daughter.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Morgan was happy for Riley, she had finally gotten her baby, even if she had to adopt it from a teenager in Chicago. It didn't matter to her; Riley was really happy now that she was a mother in her own right and the two of them had spent days together with their children.
Michael was a sweet little boy and Morgan couldn't wait until he had a sibling, well, that wasn't entirely true, she could wait, she just didn't want to. She wanted them to be close in age, plus with Riley miscarrying, she didn't want to chance trying for another baby and winding up having the same thing happen to her. She was still young but her biological clock was ticking. And anyways Sonny wasn't getting any younger.
When she had brought up the idea of having a second child, Sonny had been on board pretty much right away. He had seen how devasted Riley had been at the loss of her baby and he wanted nothing more than for them to get on to trying for baby number two while they still could.
Which led her to now, and the fact that she was looking at the pregnancy test in her hand with a smile on her face. Michael was just over a year old, Riley had had Sam for months now, and everything seemed to be going in the right direction. Being pregnant was something Morgan wanted and now she was crazy excited to tell Sonny that them trying had worked.
She was currently at home for the weekend and Sonny had headed into work to meet up with Peter and get a bunch done for a big case coming up. She had gladly let him go, wanting nothing more than to spend the day with Michael, the two of them taking a trip to the drugstore where she had purchased her pregnancy test.
Now she couldn't wait for him to come home- wait, if she couldn't sit still and just let him come to her, then what was stopping her from going there, going to Sonny and telling him at work? God she was brilliant, this was perfect and probably just what he needed. The court case had been bringing him down lately but this…this was the perfect distraction.
As quick as lightning, Morgan gathered up her baby, setting him up in his carrier before taking him out to the car and putting him in the backseat. She had made the trip to the courthouse in record time, but not driving too erratically, after all, she had a baby on board- two if she counted the one inside of her.
Carrying Michael into the courthouse in his carrier, she couldn't help but grin at everyone she passed and when she finally reached Sonny's office, she peered inside only to find it empty. Okay fine, he had gone to work to meet up with Peter so maybe he was with his boss. Morgan carried on down the hallway and heard him well before she saw him, she also heard Peter's voice, and Riley's too.
Popping her head inside Peter's door, she laid her eyes on her husband, who was sitting on the couch in Peter's office next to Peter. Riley and baby Sam were set up in Peter's desk chair, the two girls distracting themselves with all the baby safe things on his desk.
"Hey!" Riley squealed in delight and took Sam's tiny hand in her own, making the baby wave at Morgan from her spot in her arms. "Mo, what are you doing here?"
"I came to join the party." Morgan countered. "I guess my invitation must've gotten lost in the mail."
"Nah Mo, Riley just showed up." Sonny stated.
"I didn't." Riley shook her head. "Peter and I have dinner plans; I came here to pick him up."
"Right, see, she just showed up." Sonny said. "Like you. Mo, you have to know you're always invited here."
"To Peter's office?" Riley piped up. "She's always invited to Peter's office? Seems sketchy but alright."
Sonny shot Riley a glare and waved at Morgan, drawing her into the office. She sat on the end of the couch next to him and hauled Michael's carrier up, setting it on the coffee table in front of the couch. Sonny immediately set to work on freeing his son and held him up on his lap as he smiled at Morgan, who was looking at him, then to Peter and Riley, curious as to what they had been doing before she had shown up.
Riley stood up from the desk chair and hugged Sam against her chest, moving to sit on the coffee table directly in front of Peter, who was quick to take hold of his daughter and smile brightly at her. The baby had been a godsend to the couple and every time Morgan witnessed her best friend with baby Sam, she couldn't help but feel super duper excited for what her future held.
"Hey, you guys want to join us for dinner?" Peter offered, tearing his eyes away from Sam just long enough to look between Sonny and Morgan. He then looked right back at the baby in his hold.
"Uh." Morgan started but looked directly at Sonny and her son. "I mean…maybe…I actually came here to talk to Sonny."
"Oh." Peter's eyes widened at her tone and he leaned back against the back of the couch, Sam clawing at his loosened tie and tugging on it. Riley turned sideways and looked at Morgan, studying her friend and wondering what she needed to talk to Sonny about.
"You couldn't just do that at home?" Riley pressed and Morgan's eyes were instantly glaring at Riley. "Seriously Mo, I'm your best friend, you can't just get things by me."
"Right." Morgan bowed her head. "Well…no, actually it couldn't wait, I was too excited."
"Excited?" Sonny shot her a curious look and Morgan's lips broke out into a giant smile. "Mo-"
"I'm pregnant." She confessed, still smiling.
Sonny's eyes nearly bugged out of his head and Riley broke the silence with an excited squeal, which brought Sam to cries of hysterics. Peter made quick work of trying to soothe the now scared baby while Riley jumped to her feet and lunged at her friend, enveloping her into a warm and tight embrace.
Morgan melted into Riley's hold and carefully stood up so that it wasn't as awkward as it had been to start with. She was thankful that her best friend was here so that she could tell her at the same time that she got to tell Sonny. It was sort of a nice surprise and now there were a few people who could share in her excitement instead of just Sonny.
Sonny rose to his feet and when Riley peeled away from Morgan, she took careful hold of Michael and simply watched as Sonny hugged his wife tight, pressing quick kiss after quick kiss all over her face. Yes, thank god he was excited too because Morgan was anxious about telling him. They hadn't planned on it happening so soon but it had, just like the first time.
They were going to be parents to two beautiful children before they knew it; thank god they had bought the house when they had.
"Mo that's great news." Sonny murmured into her ear and she felt him rock their bodies back and forth in a soothing motion. "I'm so…so happy."
Morgan let out a sigh of relief and when Sonny dropped back down into a sitting position, he pulled her with him, letting her fall into his lap. He didn't let go of her though and instead gripped her tighter, not wanting her to get too far away from him. He loved her so much, he loved every single thing about her, but most importantly, he loved their family, their growing family.
His mom would be so happy that she was getting another grandchild, seeing as she spoiled the one baby that they had already given the older woman. Everything was just so perfect, so wonderful. His heart was full of such joy, such love for the woman in his hold, for the one son she had already given him and the next child they would have soon enough.
Sure, they had a rocky start but since then, they had worked so well together. He felt like she was his soulmate, his other half and Morgan reciprocated those feelings. They made things work between them, they supported each other, and they continued to grow as people together.
"Mo, you're pretty fertile aren't you." Riley teased as she gingerly bounced Michael as she held him against her chest. "First baby was a honeymoon baby, now this one- how long were you even trying, like five minutes?"
Morgan let out a sharp bark of laughter at her friend but shook her head, "a little while, not that long though."
"Super sperm." Riley gave a nod in Sonny's direction. "I bet that's it, right?"
"Seriously, is nothing off limits for you?" Peter shot her a look of disbelief but Riley merely offered up a shrug. "I'm going to tell you this right now and never again, men don't particularly like talking about their sperm."
Riley rolled her eyes at him but let out a soft sigh, "noted."
"At least I didn't have to ask him to give me any of his sperm." Morgan threw out, trying to make light of the situation.
"Seriously?" Peter lifted one hand up and waved it around the room.
"That word makes him feel uncomfortable." Sonny added in. "Personally, it's not as scary as the word vasectomy."
"On that note, I think I'm ready to head out for dinner, not that this isn't a riveting conversation." Peter grumbled and rose to his feet. "Congratulations Morgan."
Morgan smiled at him and reached out to take Michael away from Riley, who was whisked towards the desk. Riley gathered up his stuff, nabbed his jacket and headed out of his office with him as he maintained his hold on Sam, leaving the Carisi family in his office in private.
Sonny looked up at her and smiled wide, "pregnant again. I can't believe it doll."
"Believe it Sonny Bunny, we're going to have another baby."
"And I can't wait for that to happen."
Morgan leaned in against him and grinned, quite honestly she was as happy as she had been when she had found out about Michael, and nothing was going to bring her down, at least not today.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Sonny sat next to his slumbering wife on the hospital bed, repeatedly running his hands through Morgan's hair. Morgan was curled up next to Sonny, her face buried into Sonny's side as she slept away the pain and exhaustion that she had dealt with once she had been taken into surgery. There was a beautiful baby girl residing down the hall and Sonny had already been down to look at his and Morgan's amazing daughter.
The surgery itself, a C-Section just like Michael, hadn't taken too much time and Sonny had been there every step of the way. A smile crossed his face as he recalled the way that Morgan had referred to him as 'her baby daddy' more than once but he didn't care, she could call him whatever she wanted, so long as she followed it up with 'I love you'.
Sonny had sent out a text message to the important people first: his mother, Audrey and Charlotte, and finally Riley and Peter. He figured that his mom and Charlotte would arrive first and he hadn't been wrong. Sonny had taken the two older females down the hallway to look through the window to the nursery where he pointed out which one was their newest baby: Eva Audrey Charlotte Carisi.
"She's beautiful." Charlotte whispered, fearful that if she was too loud, she might burst the dreamlike bubble she had been in since receiving the news of her second grandchild being born. "So very, very beautiful."
"She's perfect Sonny." His own mother threw in.
He had left them there to stare and gawk at the little baby Eva before heading right back to Morgan's side, which is precisely where he was now, curled up next to her as she slipped in and out of sleep. She was clearly exhausted, it had been a long and intense process but Eva was here, Eva was brought into the world and she was just fine.
Sonny figured that he would've seen Riley and Peter by now though. He had sent the text close to two hours ago, and assuming they had come directly to the hospital, it wasn't too farfetched of an idea to think that maybe they were nearby, potentially within the walls of the very building. Morgan was barely aware of who he had let know, she was too busy trying to gain a few more minutes of sleep before the real work began.
Turning his head, Sonny peered down at Morgan and just barely caught sight of the peaceful expression on her face, which was still very much buried against his side. She had done wonderfully, she had managed to go through a C-Section without too much trouble and now their baby was just down the hall, nearly perfectly fine aside from being born a couple of weeks early.
When a shuffle in the hall caught Sonny's attention, he turned slightly towards Morgan and vowed that he would keep her safe from anyone that dared to interrupt them who wasn't invited. Morgan was sleeping too soundly, too peacefully, for Sonny to let anyone bother her, but at the sight of Riley poking her head around the corner, he visibly relaxed and continued to thread his fingers through Morgan's hair.
"Thank fuck." Riley stated and quickly stepped into the doorway. "This is the third room that we've looked in and I have seen things- things that I never, ever want to see-"
"Why didn't you just ask for the room number?" Sonny cut her off with a chuckle.
"I did, but I was too excited and I forgot, then I was too embarrassed to admit that I forgot…" Riley explained.
Sonny motioned his head towards Morgan. "She's out."
"She okay?" Riley countered, lowering her voice. She waved behind her and Peter appeared, the two of them wandering into the room, Riley collapsing into the vacant chair next to the bed while Peter wandered around to the opposite side and leaned against the nearby wall. He peered down at the slumbering Morgan before throwing a proud smile in Sonny's direction.
Sonny gently nudged his wife's shoulder and Morgan just barely moved, tipping her head back so that her face wasn't buried against Sonny's side any more. When Morgan's eyes fluttered open, Sonny beamed down at her, fighting off the tears that were currently welling up in his eyes at the sheer thought of how amazing she had been during the birth of their daughter.
"She's fine." Sonny answered and Morgan tensed on the bed next to her. Sonny sucked in a breath and finally tore his hand away from Morgan's hair. "You scared me there for a second Mo, I don't think I was expecting another C-Section."
"Sorry." Morgan mumbled and cautiously craned her neck as she peered around the room, taking in the sight of the two people who had come to see her. She stared at Peter for a few seconds longer than she should've but when she tore her eyes away from him, she let out a soft sigh, then she looked right at Riley. "Hi Ry."
"Hi." She smiled back at her and gingerly lowered herself down so that she was sitting on the edge of her bed next to Sonny as well. "You doing alright there Mo? I hear you had a baby."
Sonny sat up on the bed and slipped his arm underneath Morgan, carefully helping her into a sitting position. Morgan shifted slowly and when a movement hurt, she paused and held her breath, desperate to get herself up so that she could better see the people inside the room with her. When she was finally sitting up, her back against the pillows, she ran her hands over her sides and sucked in a breath.
"Where's the baby?" Riley questioned from her spot in the chair.
"She's down the hall." Sonny replied. "She's fine, she's just in the nursery with the other babies for now."
"Congratulations you two." Peter gave Morgan a smile and she forced one back at him.
Sonny slowly moved so that he was standing next to the bed instead of sitting on it, which left Riley with quite a bit more room. As soon as he was away from Morgan, he looked at his wife's face and took note that she wasn't holding back the tears anymore, no, Morgan was crying.
She didn't know why, there were a few reasons, maybe she was sad that Eva was born via a C-Section, and she had to go through everything with Sonny this time, maybe she was happy that her baby girl was okay, or maybe she was just overwhelmed with everything. Hell, if Sonny had been in her position, he'd have been crying since she had gotten out of surgery.
"Mo, did you want me to take them down and show them the baby?" Sonny offered, sensing that maybe Morgan needed a minute to herself. Morgan didn't say a word, nor did she nod or shake her head, she merely stared at Sonny, tears continuing to run down her face.
"I can stay with her if you want." Riley suggested, knowing that Morgan was probably feeling super overemotional because of all the hormones coursing through her.
"No." Morgan said softly and shook her head. "You have to go see her."
"You sure?" Riley countered.
She cocked her head sideways and met her gaze, wondering what exactly she did want at that moment. She had just woken up mere minutes ago and now here she was, bombarded with emotions; and to add on to all of that, the idea of having a baby hadn't even really set in just yet. She felt totally and completely overwhelmed and while she wanted to remain strong and independent, all she wanted to do at that very minute was cry.
"It's okay, go." Morgan mumbled and lifted her hand up and out towards the trio, waving them off.
Sonny waved them forward and ushered them out into the hall so that they could head down the hall to see Eva Audrey Charlotte Carisi.
While Sonny wandered down the hall, leading them towards their newest addition to their family, Riley felt her heart swelling at the thought of Morgan being left all alone in the hospital room without anyone to be right there for her. She wanted to run back to her friend, she did, but she didn't want to overwhelm her, nor did she want to become the primary support in her life now that she had a husband who loved her.
Sonny stood them in front of a large window looking into a room with a few babies tucked away inside. He then motioned for Riley and Peter to move forward and when they did, falling in next to him, their eyes landed on a tiny little baby girl with a sticker reading 'Eva Audrey Charlotte Carisi' taped to the end of the baby-sized bed she resided on.
Sonny lifted his hands up and crossed his arms over his chest, studying his baby girl in detail. She was beautiful, perfect in every way, and watching her sleeping only served to fuel his desire to take her home and have her in his arms whenever he wanted. He wanted to hold her and Michael, and hug them and kiss them. He wanted to protect them and make them laugh and smile.
Sure he was still terrified, he would always be fearful of them not turning out alright, but he knew that he'd never do anything to deliberately hurt his children, no matter what.
"She's so little." Riley piped up, breaking the silence that had fallen over them.
"She's pretty average sized for a baby." Sonny countered and Riley pressed the end of her finger against the glass, all of them watching as a nurse appeared inside the room and stood next to Morgan's baby girl.
The nurse was quick to free the little girl of her soft, thin hat, but after checking out her skull, she put it back on, covering the girl's head in an effort to keep her snug and warm. None of them were expecting the nurse to lift her up though and when she did, they all leaned in closer to the window, watching carefully as she cradled the newborn against her chest and wandered out of the room.
"Where's she taking her?" Peter asked, a slight panic to his voice.
"Probably to sell her on the black market." Riley joked but when neither of the other two laughed, she recoiled and locked her eyes on the nurse's back. She disappeared momentarily but when she reappeared, it was no more than ten feet down the hall from where they stood.
None of them moved though, they all watched as the nurse carried the baby into Morgan's room, disappearing from their sight. As calmly as they could, they filed down the hall too but hesitated outside, waiting to be invited.
Riley backed away and let Sonny have a better view and when Morgan, who was trying to sit up, spotted them all, she waved them inside and carried on accepting the baby from the nurse, who had just retrieved her from the nursery.
"We had a chance to check out your baby, she's perfectly healthy." The nurse announced and Morgan hesitantly took her, looking down at her through wide, wonder filled eyes. "I can give you a few minutes if you'd like, you can just press the call button when you need me back."
"Yeah." Morgan breathed the word out and, throwing a smile at everyone in the room, the nurse disappeared out into the hallway.
As soon as the nurse was gone, Riley wandered in with a smile on her face, which only grew at the sight of Morgan holding her baby. She pushed her way through and lowered her butt down, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking down into the baby's eyes, which were just barely open.
"She's really something." Riley whispered, but since the room was so quiet, everyone had heard her clearly.
"She's my little girl." Morgan smiled but quickly looked towards Sonny, who was currently sitting next to Peter in the chairs beside her bed. "She's our little girl."
"And what a little girl she is…" Riley trailed off and shifted closer to Morgan, lifting her hand up and gingerly setting it on the baby's head.
"Now Sam can have a best friend, just like you had with me." Morgan teased and a smile took over her face. She looked at her baby, then up to her best friend. "I really hope that her and Sam have a friendship like ours."
"Maybe they can have a better friendship than ours, honestly, we're pretty weird together." Riley joked.
"Yeah," Morgan let out a snort, carefully lifting her finger up and running it over her baby's head, "no, I think I can agree with you there."
"She really is beautiful." Peter murmured, breaking his silent spell. He paused but moved closer to the bed and looked at the newborn baby in Morgan's hold. "She's…"
"Perfect." Morgan whispered. "She's just so perfect."
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Riley's stomach had initially dropped at the sight of the little pink plus sign on the stick. It wasn't exactly something she had been expecting to happen, especially not since the not so recent loss of her baby with Peter, but yet it seemed unavoidable at this point in time. The pregnancy test said positive, not that Riley needed it confirmed, she'd been pregnant once before with a child that had never made it into the world, and she could remember very clearly what it felt like.
That didn't mean she wasn't excited for this pregnancy, that wasn't it at all. Ever since Peter had come into her life, since he had married her and adopted a child with her, Riley had felt a lot better about the entire situation of her not being able to get pregnant- except she was apparently (pregnant that is).
It had to stay a secret though, she couldn't tell anyone and go through the same thing she had gone through before, no, she'd wait an acceptable amount of time and pray that this baby made it past the first trimester. She didn't really have a lot of hope, but there was a tiny little ray of it: this time she had managed to get pregnant all on her own, no artificial insemination, no in vitro, just good old-fashioned unprotected sex.
Peter had picked up the pieces after her first miscarriage, and for that she felt a little guilty not even planning to tell him about this pregnancy until she was further along. Hell, he had brought Riley back from the darker places that she had nearly been lost to.
Peter Stone had been the man to help her when she needed it, the man who had loved her when she was falling apart and the man who been able to put her back together again; he would be the best man for her that he could be, and that was all Riley could ask for.
So when Riley hit the twelve week mark of her pregnancy, she knew that the chances of losing this baby had significantly decreased. She had no reason not to tell Peter, plus if he wasn't already starting to maybe suspect something, then he was a lot more oblivious than she believed. She was already gaining weight, though not a lot, and her breasts were getting bigger. She was craving sex all the time, though honestly, she craved it even when she wasn't pregnant, so that wouldn't be a giveaway to Peter.
It didn't matter, she was going to tell him and she was going to hopefully feel a shit-ton of relief once she did. They were going to have a baby, oh god, another baby. They would have two kids, which was one more than Riley ever figured she'd be lucky enough to have.
Could she handle two kids?
If Morgan could do it, then she could too, right? Women had more than one kid all the time, plus it wasn't like she'd be doing it alone, she had Peter, who loved her. No, she could definitely handle two kids, plus wasn't that what grandmothers were for, to help look after their grandchildren. Her mom would love to come and spend some time looking after her kids.
Peter had been an amazing father to Sam in the time that they had her in their lives, there was no doubt that he could handle taking care of a baby of their own on top of that. Peter Stone was a great man, he could handle going to court against the worst of them, raising kids would be like a piece of cake to him; okay, maybe that wasn't totally accurate but it didn't matter because it was happening.
Anxious tears filled her eyes and Riley let out a huff. She didn't need to cry right now, she just needed to hold it together until she told Peter what was going on. Tears were still in her eyes though and she wasn't entirely sure if they were tears of joy or tears of fear. Just because it was less likely that she would miscarry, it didn't mean it wasn't still possible.
Riley pulled her phone out of her pocket and debated whether or not she wanted to call Peter. She could ask him to come home, he'd do it too, he'd rush to her side for whatever reason without question. She had a few minutes of quiet because Sam was asleep in her crib, but did she want to spend those few minutes talking to Peter on the phone because she certainly wasn't going to actually tell him the news until he was right in front of her.
Instead of dialing his number, she sent him a text message, a simple one at that, as vague as could be so that he wouldn't end up suspicious.
'What are you up to?'
She kept the phone in her hand and wandered towards Sam's room, standing in the doorway and just looking over at the crib that held her slumbering daughter. She was safe and sound inside her crib and she was loved and wanted inside their home. Sam was a wonderful daughter, and at a few months over a year old, she was growing up so fast.
When her phone vibrated in her hand, Riley jumped and peered down at the screen, reading his reply with a smile.
'On my way home with supper, I'll be there soon.'
Okay, she could work with that, at least Peter was on his way home and she wouldn't have to put off telling him much longer. She hoped that he'd be excited, but she wasn't sure if she was completely ready to accept it right now herself. She was scared that this time was going to end a lot like the last time, and that was something she'd never be able to prepare herself for.
"Soon." She murmured and wandered into the little girl's room, suddenly wondering where they would put another baby. Jesus, if it was a boy, it'd be better off in a room of its own, but if it was a girl, then surely they could keep the two of them in the same room for a while, right?
Riley let out a sigh, if she was totally honest with herself, she'd easily give up her office if this baby made it into the world. She didn't really need her own office, she could always set up a desk in the basement for the super rare occurrences when she worked from home, which were few and far between. Oh hell, she could even just borrow Peter's office if that was the case.
Either way though, the books would need to find a new home; thank god she had a basement. The walls down there would look just fine covered in shelves full of books, hell, maybe one day her kids would end up loving reading as much as she did and they'd gradually move the books back upstairs.
The possibilities were endless.
Stepping closer to the crib, Riley wrapped her hands around the top of it and merely looked down at the sleeping girl inside. She'd need a big girl bed sooner rather than later, but hell, they would have time to make decisions, they'd have time to get organized.
Riley leaned over the edge of the crib and carefully lifted Sam up, clutching her against her chest before she wandered towards the hall. Carrying on down the stairs, Riley closed in on the table and by the time she made it there, Sam was partially awake and cooperating a lore more than she had been when she had initially been picked up. Her little body was quickly set into her booster seat before Riley headed towards the fridge.
It was while Riley was in the middle of filling a little plastic sippy cup with watered down fruit juice that she heard the front door opening, which was followed up with Sam letting out a squeal of delight at the arrival of the very person Riley was eagerly waiting. Ignoring the bustle at the front door momentarily, Riley continued pouring out the juice and when she wandered over to set it in front of Sam at the table, Peter appeared in the kitchen carrying a pizza box.
"Hey." Riley beamed at him, her laughter from Sam's reaction echoed in the kitchen as Peter closed in on her and kissed her quickly on the lips.
His eyes met Riley's and she smiled at him before slowly sitting down at the table in the chair next to Sam, both of them waiting for him to join them.
"How are my girls?" Peter asked and he carefully set the pizza down on the surface of the table, then he went to work on peeling off his jacket. He disappeared back towards the front door and when he reappeared in the kitchen he already had the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to his elbows and his tie loosened from around his neck.
"We're good." Riley answered with a shrug. "Sam just woke up from a nap."
"Da!" Sam cooed and Riley reached over, running her hand along the girl's head.
"Hi Sammy." Peter responded, still grinning. "Hello my little baby girl."
Riley felt her heart swelling at his words and she sucked in a breath, anxious for what she had to tell him now that he was finally home. She was nervous about how he'd react and honestly, it's not like she could blame him. This wasn't exactly planned, but then again, they hadn't been careful on purpose either. If Peter hadn't wanted a baby, surely he would've said something to her before now, right?
Ugh, it didn't help though, the logic in her thoughts wasn't making this any easier. Her mouth felt dry and her heart was pounding in her chest, but with one smile from Peter, she knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted to have a baby with him, she wanted that baby to be a perfect combination of her and him, able to watch that baby grow up to be just like them in some form.
"Peter…" Riley breathed his name out and waited patiently as Peter straightened up and looked at her, wondering what she wanted from him. "There's something I need to tell you."
"Okay." He smiled at her and took a seat at the table on the other side of Sam, leaning his elbow on the surface so that he could see Riley in his line of sight. "Good something?"
"Uh yes." She nodded her head and ran her hand across her abdomen. "So I probably should've told you this a little while ago but I just wanted to make sure…well I was scared."
"Ry, what's going on?" He narrowed his eyes in on her and she sucked in a nervous breath. Holding it for a few seconds, she tried to figure out how she wanted to break the news to him, but when she let the breath out, the words came with it.
"I'm pregnant."
His eyes widened at her admission but he tipped his head sideways, not entirely sure how it was possible. They hadn't had any luck conceiving naturally before and he wasn't aware of any more attempts at in vitro, so what was different this time?
"How?" He blurted out, not that he wasn't happy, he was just confused.
"Honestly, I have no idea. I just am."
"You just are? As in, we just got lucky?" Peter pressed and Sam smacked her hands on the surface of her highchair tray. He peeled his attention away from Riley and offered his daughter his hand, which she grabbed hold of eagerly and began squeezing and fiddling with his fingers. "Really?"
"Yeah." Riley nodded her head.
"Great." He countered. "Great, now what?"
Riley shrugged her shoulders, "uh, well, we prepare for a baby."
"What if the same thing happens this time that happened last time?" Peter quipped.
Right, yeah, okay, Peter wasn't aware of the whole truth, no, as far as he was aware, she was just pregnant, freshly pregnant, but that wasn't even close to what was going on here.
"Circling back to the part where I should've mentioned this to you earlier- I'm like twelve weeks pregnant, as in, second trimester." Riley confessed and Peter gaped at her. Well huh, Peter Stone was rarely speechless but that had certainly done it. "The chances of miscarriage significantly decrease in the second trimester, so I feel pretty good about it this time."
"Riley…" Peter managed to get her name out but that was it, he was just silently staring at her.
"Please don't be mad, I just didn't want to get our hopes up but now…I don't know, I just feel better about this pregnancy."
"You're telling me you kept this from me for-"
"Yes."
"You don't even look pregnant."
"I am, very much so." She nodded and reached her hand out, offering it to Peter who took hold of it with the hand that wasn't occupied by Sam. "We're going to have a baby."
"Holy shit." Peter stared at her and when she squeezed his hand, he let out a low laugh, shaking his head in the process. "Okay."
She scrunched up her nose at him, "okay?"
"Okay." He repeated. "We're having a baby."
"Well yeah, but I have to do all the work." Riley snorted.
"God, we're really having a baby."
"Yeah, you, me, two kids. We're going to be a real nice family." Riley added and Peter slowly rose to his full height before stepping around Sam's highchair, even going as far as to pull his hand out of her grasp. She busied herself with slapping her palms on the tray once again but it didn't matter, he was too happy, too excited.
"I love you so much." He murmured. "You, a baby and Sam, that sounds perfect."
"I love you too." Riley smiled back at him.
She knew that it would take a while until she felt relaxed enough to truly enjoy her pregnancy, chances of bad things happening were still very prominent in her mind, but this was good. They were going to have a baby of their very own, a baby sibling for Sam, another person to add to their family.
No matter what it held, Riley and Peter were excited for the future.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Riley rolled over and let out a loud yawn, catching the bright moon through the window still high in the sky. Finding an empty bed surrounding her, she shut her eyes and sighed, knowing exactly where to find the missing Peter Stone. Pausing for a second before she made any move to get up and search him out, she relaxed into the bed and let out a soft sigh of contentment, loving her life and how it had turned out.
Smiling to herself, she shoved the covers down and moved her legs to the edge of the bed, not even bothering to find pajama bottoms to cover up her black underwear, she was way too tired, and still somewhat sore, to care about covering up. It's not like anyone besides Peter would see her anyway.
Her arms extended into the air as she stretched her shoulders out, letting a wince escape her throat in the process as she strained her abdominal muscles, which were achy still, days after bringing baby Wren Lee Stone into the world.
Her hands came to rest against her sides, pressing into her skin in a lame attempt to alleviate her aching muscles. She moved forward, tucking her elbows closer to her body as she crossed over the threshold of the bedroom door and carefully made her way down the hall, as quietly as she could. Glancing back at the half open door to Sam's room, she couldn't help but smile, knowing she was sound asleep, free of monsters hiding in her room.
Her lips twitched upwards as she closed in on Wren's room, the lamp near her crib giving off a soft glow, enough for Riley to see Peter clearly but not enough to bother the sleeping baby in the crib next to him.
She knew he was well aware she was behind him but that didn't stop him from jerking as she wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing her forehead against the spot between his shoulder blades. His left hand moved to rest against her arm, pressed against his torso, while his right hand remained wrapped around the top part of the tiny little girl's crib.
"First night back at home and I don't even get to sleep next to you." She murmured tiredly, the aches in her body being pushed to the back of her mind now as she just basked in the quiet, neither one of her children making any noise at all.
"I was just checking on her."
"You should be checking on me." Riley teased and pulled away from him, quickly stepping around him and leaning against his side. His arm roamed up her back and he rested his hand on the back of her neck, his eyes never leaving the sleeping baby.
"You're fine." He breathed back and finally looked at her. "Aren't you?"
"Well I'm feeling kind of neglected. If I knew having another baby int his house would take all of your attention away from me, I never would have agreed to it." She grinned at him but he just looked at her, somewhat appalled by her implication, even if she was just teasing. She had been the one who had wanted kids so deeply, and the fact that Wren was all theirs had been a moment to celebrate.
"You want my attention?"
"Hey I didn't mean you can't just stand here and stare at her, but Peter, it's the middle of the night, she's asleep, and I could use some company in bed."
"What time is it?"
"Two…ish."
"What?"
"See, you've been in here a long time, should I be worried about you?"
He drummed his fingers against the crib but moved his hand away from it, turning to face Riley head on now. She reached up and grabbed hold of the wrist of the hand that was on her neck, gingerly pulling it down and holding it between them.
"She looks like you Ry."
Riley cocked her head to the side and smiled. "No, she looks like a baby, exactly the same as every other baby."
"How can you say that?" His tone offended, as if Riley dare to lump his baby girl into the same category as other infants.
"Babies all sort of look the same to me." She shrugged and glanced down at tiny baby Wren, curled up in her crib. "They're all sort of weird looking little aliens to start with, sure some have hair or different coloured eyes, but they all look like little wrinkly people."
"That may be but she's you, in so many ways."
"She's not even a week old, she looks like a baby."
"She's got your eyes."
Riley let out a sigh but looked down into the crib, studying the face of her newborn baby girl. Maybe babies all looked similar to her but she could easily see why Peter was so mesmerized, the tiny little girl was perfect; ten fingers, ten toes, everything where it should be, nothing missing, no extra limbs, and the most beautiful expression of peace on her face as she slept.
"I already love her so much." Riley breathed out. She had been thinking a lot about it, ever since she found out she was pregnant, and then when she found out they were in fact having a girl, she just wanted it even more. Nothing could've topped the feelings she had when they had brought Samantha home, but having Wren was right up there.
"I know, me too."
"I want her to be all she can be. She'll be an amazing woman one day."
"Amazing women seem to run in the family." Peter smiled at her and Riley stepped closer to him. "I'm sure if she sets her mind to it, she'll be able to do anything."
"Just like her mom?"
"Just like her mom."
"So, are you going to stand here all night and watch her sleep then?" Riley asked, taking her bottom lip in between her teeth, looking up at him with a coy expression.
"I'm sure I could manage to tear myself away from her."
"Then you're going to come to bed with me?"
"I think so."
"Thank god." She let out a sigh of relief and laced her fingers with his, gently tugging on his arm as she made a move towards the door.
He barely budged though, holding her back as he took one last look at Wren, sleeping peacefully in her crib. It would never cease to amaze him how lucky he was to have found a woman like Riley. She had given him so much; a reason to keep going when things got tough, a sense of belonging, and most importantly, two amazing children.
"Did you do a thorough monster check tonight?" Peter asked, finally giving in and following Riley as she wandered out of the room. "Sam was worried that your mom didn't do a very good job while she was watching her."
"Monster free." She scoffed, amused by the fact that her and Peter were having a legitimate conversation about non-existent bed dwelling monsters.
"Do you think Wren will be afraid of monsters?"
"God I hope not. I would love to be able to sleep through the night without being beckoned to look under her bed."
"Were you ever afraid of monsters?" Peter questioned and wandered over to Sam's closed door, leaning against the wall just off to the side. Riley was well aware of what he was doing, she could tell by the look on his face that he was focusing, trying to listen in to see if he could hear Sam struggling to sleep. Lately there were nights when the poor little girl had a sort of vicious nightmare, but there were other nights when she slept right through.
"I was never afraid of much, not until I met you." She shot back and fixed him with a smirk. "You were probably the scariest thing of them all."
"I bet." He replied with a roll of his eyes. He wasn't scary, not in the slightest, but he had been a witness to her panic attack the very first night she had spent with him. Boy had that been a shock to him, but it hadn't scared him away.
Riley rolled her eyes at him and pranced across the hall, walking into her room before dropping her butt onto the edge of the bed. She watched as he wandered into the room too, stripping off the shirt he had worn all day before moving his hands down to make short work of his belt.
"I'm so glad we have Wren now." She announced and looked up at him, an almost sad look consuming her features. It had been a long and winding road but she had gotten pregnant, she had made it through the entire pregnancy and now they had Wren to prove it. Tough didn't even begin to describe it.
"She's pretty amazing."
"Just like Sam."
Riley leaned back, her shoulders connecting with the bed before she wiggled her way up towards the pillows, burying her face into the soft material of the pillowcases. Less than a minute later, Peter climbed in next to her, lying in front of her as he met her gaze, their faces mere inches apart.
"I love you." He whispered.
"Enough to rub my back, it's still sort of painful." She tossed back with a sigh.
"What, why?" His expression immediately turned to one of worry, clearly concerned by what she had just said.
"Nothing major, just the usual achiness associated with giving birth, at least I assume it's normal achiness seeing as I've never actually given birth before."
"You mean it still hurts? Really?"
"Yeah still."
Peter motioned for her to turn around and Riley complied, rolling over so that her back was to him. She tensed at his touch, not expecting him to slip his arm around her and pull her against him, his hand resting on her ribs. She held her hand in the air away from her body while he got comfortable behind her before setting her hand on top of his, slipping her fingers in the spaces between his.
She relaxed into the sheets and let out a soft sigh, her eyes just barely staying open as he worked away at running his other hand over her back, making soft soothing circles on her skin.
"Better?" He asked, pressing his lips to the side of her neck.
"Mmm, very much so."
It wasn't too much longer before Riley's breathing evened out and her body relaxed even more. Holding on to her, Peter just took a few minutes to take it all in. Still fighting the urge to just watch Wren in her crib, he shut his eyes and waited for the peacefulness of sleep to take over him.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Thank you again MrsHappyAnarchy! I hope you enjoyed the last chapter!