A Generation's Secrets

by SophieTurner1805

In the wake of a life-changing event, Georgiana and Elizabeth learn the secrets of the previous generation. A trip to America will reunite the former Bennet sisters, but when they gather at Pemberley, events there will leave their generation with its own secrets to hide. Fourth story in the Constant Love series.

26. Part 1, Chapter 26

AN: I've decided to redistribute the posting a little bit so it will no longer be 5 chapters in a batch, but I am going to endeavour to keep posting two batches per weekend. This batch will be chapters 26-28.

Readers should also be aware that this chapter includes sexual assault.

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Chapter 26

Elizabeth awoke recalling little other than poor Lady Anne's having endured several more social situations after the Pantheon that had left her feeling overwhelmed in the midst of that glittering season of the past, which Elizabeth recognised as being even more aggressive than what she and her husband faced when in town at that time of year. Grasping about her in the bedlinens, she located the journal and continued reading.

"April 27, 1779

"Grandmother revealed to us at breakfast that she had invited the Darcys to dine this evening and then to the opera with us. I had been hoping she would reciprocate their dinner but had not thought she would honour them so. She is very careful in her invitations to the box and has the right to be since she now pays for it all – mama wanted to give it up to save the cost but grandmother said if we did that it would be the end of our standing as a family, for nothing could signify our poverty more clearly.

"I had already been planning to wear the yellow and pink silk and I am glad I just had my hair done three days ago so it will look very nice for the evening. Grandmother said I can wear her pink topaz set so I think I shall look as well as I can. I had been anticipating the evening already, but to know I am to spend it in his company gives me such nervous flutterings in my stomach. As ever I wonder if there will be a time when the thought of his presence does not make me thus?

"April 28, 1779

"Last night was half happiness and half agony. I am not in spirits to write much of the happier portion, dinner and the opera until the first intermission. I had felt Mr. Darcy – Mr. George Darcy – to be paying me more attention than anyone else in our party, and we spoke of many things, as we usually do.

"It was only at the intermission, when we all left the box to walk and be seen and get refreshments, that we encountered Lady Ellen, her father, and Sir Walter Trevallyn, a M.P. who seems often in her father's company. The younger members of our group had walked ahead of grandmother and Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, and Lady Ellen glided up to us and greeted our party with more warmth than I have ever heard from her. And who could her warmth be directed towards but Mr. Darcy? I felt at that moment such a strong pang of jealousy and hopelessness that I wanted to go home so I could be alone in my disappointment, but of course I was required to hide my feelings. Andrew, Mr. Darcy, and Lady Ellen all spoke until the intermission was over. Cathy was silent because she does not like Lady Ellen and I was silent because I did not trust myself to speak. The evening was ruined, for me – all I could think of was the two of them, wed. What a handsome, elegant couple they would make. How they would make their way so smoothly through society, conversing easily with everyone they met. When I think of this, I think that Lady Silence is no match for the likes of Mr. George Darcy – even with a larger dowry, I think there would be no reason for such a man to look twice at someone such as me, except that I am the sister of his friend. I was brought so low by such thoughts that I do not think I spoke two words together for the remainder of the evening, but it did not matter, for no-one seemed to notice."

Did George Darcy notice? At this point in her reading, Elizabeth could see a number of possibilities, and the one she did not like was the thought of George Darcy's preferring Lady Ellen, but that lady choosing Andrew Fitzwilliam, and George Darcy then turning his thoughts towards the younger sister of his rival. Yet everything Anne wrote thus far did not place the two friends as romantic rivals – in truth, they seemed hardly romantic at all, for merely dancing with young ladies at balls ought to be considered part of a young man's life, and therefore it should not be thought peculiar unless he showed one lady particular attention.

"May 4, 1779

"My spirits are still low, and I did not wish to attend the masquerade at the Pantheon tonight, but Andrew said everyone was going to be there and even Cathy was keen to attend, which surprised me since I would have thought she would feel such an event beneath her. I wanted to tell Andrew that it didn't much matter if everyone was going to be there since we would all be wearing masks, but I did not have the spirit to contradict him. Grandmother had some very pretty old masks for us to choose from – Andrew was to be a wolf, and Cathy a fox. I chose a cat – I think perhaps it was intended to be a lion, but on me Andrew said it looked more like a kitten. He squeezed my shoulder after he said it, tho, and said he was glad I was coming and he thought we were going to have a very enjoyable evening.

"Andrew was wrong, tho. I felt uncomfortable almost from the moment we arrived. I am never comfortable around strangers and now here was a whole ballroom full of them, all wearing masks, so I could not even gauge their feelings by their countenances. Some gentlemen came by and asked us to dance, but I did not wish to dance with a man without knowing who he was and said I was not dancing. The man I refused was wearing a bear mask and seemed to take some offense that I had refused – he asked why I bothered to come to a ball if I did not intend to dance. I did not respond and was surprised to find Cathy accepting his friend's hand for the Allemande. When they had gone, Andrew apologised for encouraging me to come if I was so discomfited, and I accepted his apology and said I was sorry I was not more daring. I felt badly for him. I was sure he would rather have danced, as there were many prettily dressed women and all of them looked beautiful thanks to their masks, which I suppose is the appeal of the masquerade.

"We watched the dancers at the Allemande, but halfway through the dance I observed that I had not seen Cathy in her fox mask come around in some time, and Andrew said he had noticed the same. He sounded troubled, and when the dance ended and Cathy did not come back, he said he had better go and search for her. He led me to a quiet spot beyond the colonnades and asked me to wait there while he searched for Cathy. I was glad he had thought to take me somewhere quiet and I stood against the wall and waited as Andrew strode off.

"What happened next is so distressing that even now I can hardly write about it without shaking. The man in the bear mask walked by and noticed me standing there. He approached and stood too close to me – he was nearly a head taller than me and this intimidated me and I am sure he knew it. He said since Kitten would not give him a dance, perhaps she would give him a kiss. He stepped even closer to me and tried to kiss me on my mouth, but I turned my head and tried to push him away. He was much stronger than me, tho, and he kept trying to kiss me and was trying to put his hand in the opening to my pocket. I have never been so frightened in my life but then he was pulled away from me quite violently. I thought it was Andrew returned, but then I saw my rescuer wore an owl mask and he was still taller than either Andrew or that awful man. He showed the bear man his fist and the bear man said in a nasty tone that he could have me, as I was more a limp fish than a Kitten, and walked off.

"'Madam, are you well?' asked my rescuer, and I shall never forget it, for when he spoke his voice revealed him to be Mr. Darcy! I was so surprised I exclaimed his name and I think he was equally surprised to learn it was me, which I had not expected, for my initial assumption was that he had intervened knowing the lady being accosted was an acquaintance of his. But no, good, excellent man that he is, he intervened merely because there was a lady in distress."

"Oh, thank God for you, Mr. Darcy!" exclaimed Elizabeth, rather more loudly than she should. Fortunately, no-one would be close enough to hear her, with her own Mr. Darcy gone from the house. She had read Lady Anne's account with increasing concern to think of a poor young woman taken to such an event against her will, made miserable, and then treated thus by a stranger. In truth Elizabeth had not thought anyone of the Fitzwilliams's or Darcys's standing had attended such events, but thought it must have been different, back then. Relieved, she read on:

"He asked where Andrew was and why he had left me all alone and his tone in doing so was so harsh that he startled me, although I think my reaction was in part because I was still very upset by what had happened. Mr. Darcy noticed and apologised – he said he had allowed his temper to get the better of him. He observed that I was trembling and offered his hand and when I went to take it, was surprised to find he clasped my fingers rather than just letting me lay my hand atop his in the usual manner. It did help calm me a little, but more than that it reassured me that I was safe and now under the protection of the best of men. He asked if I wished to go get a glass of wine to help settle my nerves and I said I'd promised Andrew I would stay there and wait for him, and Mr. Darcy said, 'hang Andrew – he left you here all alone.' So I let him lead me over to the refreshments table and get me a glass of wine. He finally let go of my hand as he did so, but once I had taken up my glass, he took my other hand and clasped it again. I drank a little of the wine and felt much better settled as we walked back over to where I had been waiting for Andrew.

"Andrew himself was there with Cathy and looking for me. He started to accost me for leaving that place, but he did not get very far before he got an earful from Mr. Darcy about leaving me unprotected and could say no more. Andrew said Cathy was unwell and we needed to go home, and Mr. Darcy said that was a shame, as he had been hoping to convince us to abandon this ball – he was not very enamoured with it, and thought none of us was either – and go to Ranelagh or Vauxhall instead. I looked at Andrew hopefully – if Cathy was unwell we could always take her back to the house and then go on to the gardens. And she did not look at all unwell, although I supposed at the time that her mask might have been hiding the signs of her illness. But Andrew said perhaps some other night – we were all to go home. So Mr. Darcy said he would walk with us. He was still holding my hand when we went out to wait for the carriage, and if Andrew or Cathy noticed, neither of them said anything. At the time I did not know what to make of it, and still do not know now – I cannot know if affection formed part of his purpose or if he was still seeking to settle me after what had happened. But now at least I know my own resolve better, for I have decided that even if he is courting Lady Ellen, I will still enjoy what of his attentions he is willing to give, and while I do not think I can be flirtatious, I will do what I can to help him see that my affections are engaged. This resolve was certainly the best thing to come of the evening, for once Andrew, Cathy and I had got into the carriage, they commenced yelling at each other. I had thought my nerves settled but it made me very fretful, especially since at first I could not tell why they were doing so. But eventually I came to understand that Andrew had found Cathy in an amorous embrace with the Duke of Rougham, and Cathy thought that if she had been left alone with him for another 10 minutes she would have snared him. Andrew cried that she was a fool if she thought that, for no man would feel himself bound to any woman for an assignation at such an event, and Rougham was no fool – he had his sights set much higher. We all knew he meant Lady Ellen and O, how angry that made Cathy! She screeched and screamed the whole way back to grandmother's house. When the carriage stopped Andrew said he'd have her sent back to Stradbroke if she could not behave for this wasn't fair to me, and this just made her even angrier and she shouted that it wasn't fair to her that I was out in society at all. Then she jumped out of the carriage and ripped off her mask and threw it at Andrew. All of the shouting had given me a head-ache and Andrew said he'd have them send up some laudanum for me. He apologised for the shouting and even more so for putting me in such a dangerous situation – he said it was no excuse but if Cathy ruined herself, we would both be ruined. He said he was eternally grateful Darcy had come along at the right time. Of course my feelings were much more than mere gratitude.

"Even with the laudanum I had a hard time sleeping – I kept thinking of the most awful and wonderful moments of the evening, and how they had come within moments of each other. I wanted to think only of Mr. Darcy and his goodness, his holding my hand, but sometimes I could not but stop my mind from flitting to the man in the bear mask, from wondering what would have happened if Mr. Darcy had not come along."

Elizabeth rose from the bed upon reading this entry, for as Charles had not needed her during the night, it followed that his hunger would arise soon, and she wished to have some control over the situation when it did. She nursed him and then took him up to the nursery, finding there that her entry was greeted with great enthusiasm by the rest of her children. She had not spent nearly so much time with them yesterday as she usually did, and after she had nursed Charles, she played with them for some time to assuage her guilt, although her mind was still on the romance – what she dearly hoped was not a one-sided romance – of Lady Anne and George Darcy. She asked that a tray be sent to her room for breakfast, and was finally able to return to the journal as she ate.

"May 5, 1779

"Mr. Darcy called this morning, and when he came into the drawing-room, he asked particularly how I was feeling after the masquerade ball. I was glad of his solicitude and told him honestly that I was better but still sometimes a little shaken. He said he was sorry to hear the event had such a lingering effect on me and that he feared I had not been entirely in spirits even before that. I asked what he meant and he said he apologised if he had overstepped but I had not seemed myself at the opera. I was quite speechless to realise he had apparently noticed my upset on that evening and he continued speaking, saying he could understand how my first season might have been quite wearying. There is something about his attention that I adore, as tho I am the most important person in the world to him. Of course, I have no notion of whether that is true, but that is how his gaze makes me feel. And then after he spoke of this, he said he had heard there was to be a concert by Muzio Clementi on the pianoforte. He had come intending to invite my family, and he was of hopes it was just the event to cheer me. It was – O how it was! I think I would agree to go with him regardless of what the outing was – if he had proposed we go to view the night-soil man at work I think I would have said 'O yes, let us go!' But to go to a concert of one of the new virtuosi on the pianoforte! O, could there be anything more formed for my happiness? I think Andrew understood this for when Mr. Darcy applied to him that we should all go to the concert his enthusiasm was nothing near mine, but he agreed readily. Cathy was even less enthusiastic but then Mr. Darcy said he was sure her happiness would equal mine since she was such a lover of music. He looked askance at me with just the slightest corner of his lovely mouth upturned and it was all I could do to keep from giggling. Cathy was trapped and had to say that of course a lover of music such as herself would anticipate the concert, although she could not like this new fashion of favouring the pianoforte over the harpsichord. Even grandmother said she wished to attend, and Mr. Darcy said he would see to procuring the tickets.

"I am so excited for the concert – the days I must wait through seem a wasteland of insipid at-homes and dinners. Mr. Darcy is right that I have found my first season wearying, but I believe I shall find every season wearying. I feel myself wearing a mask all the time – not the same sort as I wore to that horrid masquerade, but a mask all the same, to pretend I care about conversation I do not care about, to pretend I favour acquaintances that in truth I do not like. But in four days I can go with the man I love and watch a virtuoso perform, and I shall not need to feign interest or favour."

"Oh good, I believe he does love her," whispered Elizabeth, basing her belief on George Darcy's noticing how the young lady had withdrawn at the opera, and that he had found an event she was certain to enjoy, where he could spend more time in Lady Anne's company. Elizabeth recalled how Matthew Stanton had done the same for Lady Anne's daughter, back during Georgiana's season – although in his case they were both lovers of music, one of the things that had fed the couple's mutual attraction. In George Darcy's case, Elizabeth did not think he had a particular passion for music – although he did, to her delight, insist on holding Lady Catherine to her own professed love. But his interest, Elizabeth hoped, was based on his interest in Lady Anne. She read on, as impatient as Anne to get to the day of the concert, and then:

"May 11, 1779

"I think I am to be cursed by the presence of Lady Ellen Montfort no matter where I go. Was it too much to think she would not attend the concert? But no, she was there with her father, and what is still worse, we saw them before we had chosen our seats, and Mr. Darcy proposed we all sit together. And so the evening where I had planned to leave off my mask was instead one where I was forced to feign pleasure at meeting Lady Ellen and then at the combining of our parties.

"My only consolation was that the mixing of our parties was such that I still got to sit next to Mr. Darcy, and Cathy was on his other side, so I did have his undivided conversation. The seat next to Cathy was empty until Sir Lewis de Bourgh claimed it. Sir Lewis all but forced her to converse with him, speaking directly to her so that it would have been exceedingly impolite not to respond. But everything she said was in that haughty tone she uses when she feels she is speaking to an inferior.

"I hope I had no such tone when I spoke with Mr. Darcy – I tried as much as I could to indicate the warmth of my feelings in my voice. We spoke of the planned programme, and then after it had concluded, about what Mr. Clementi had played. I had adored each of the six sonatas but was most impressed by the difficulty of the second. To compose such a piece and then to play it was a demonstration of what was possible on the instrument, I thought. He agreed with me, but then everyone stood and it was time for our party to mix again, and I lost his company."

There were more events – two more dances with Mr. Darcy at the Pantheon and Almack's, but without his giving any deeper indication of his feelings, and then:

"May 15, 1779

"The season is beginning to draw to a close, and I am ever so glad. I will be happy to go back to Stradbroke and hide away from society. If I had any hopes with Mr. Darcy I would wish to stay, but I think Lady Ellen must have him for the asking if she wants him. She was at Almack's for little more than two hours last night, and caused quite a stir by dancing first with the Duke of Rougham and then with Mr. Darcy. Everyone said she was trying to choose between the Duke and the commoner and I saw nothing to contradict this. She danced next with Andrew – I presume he was there when Mr. Darcy asked and once again could not avoid it. Not long after that she left – to where, no-one knew, but it was presumed to be a very exclusive private party, and there was much speculation for the rest of the evening as to who else was missing and could be hosting it.

"I thought it was odd that Sir Walter Trevallyn was not attending with them, but figured he was not of sufficient rank to attend whatever it was. He asked me to dance but just as I was about to say yes, Andrew turned from where he had been speaking with Lord Hildenborough and said I had promised the next to him. He glowered at Sir Walter and I thought it all very odd as I at least no longer need to dance with my brother to ensure my sets are filled, but I thought he must have had good reason for doing so and went off to dance with him. While we were dancing he told me Sir Walter was not a good man and I should not dance with him and should be careful in his presence. I thought back to the man in the bear mask. They are not the same man – the man in the bear mask had been heavier – but I knew what Andrew meant by his not being a good man and I promised him I would be careful and avoid Sir Walter Trevallyn.

"May 17, 1779

"We just had the strangest call – I hardly know what to make of it, but the end result is that we shall be going to Cornwall for part of the summer. Lady Ellen and Lord Lynton called with an invitation that they were having a house party at Tremont and hoped we all would attend. Lord Lynton did most of the speaking, but Lady Ellen seemed very eager to second him, and I thought perhaps she felt Mr. Darcy more inclined to attend and enjoy himself if Andrew was there. Lord Lynton admitted it to be a long journey and not the easiest, for many roads in Cornwall remain unimproved, but he said we could expect the best hospitality he had to offer and the opportunity to tour the Cornish coast once we arrived. Grandmother proclaimed it too far to travel for a woman of her age, but had no objections to the young people going provided Mrs. Rowe was to be in attendance. Lord Lynton assured grandmother that she would be and then it was left to Andrew to accept. He could not do otherwise – it was certain to be the most exclusive house party of the summer. For myself, as I felt Mr. Darcy was also certain to receive an invitation, I was glad to go, although I fear I shall have to witness a betrothal between the two of them, for I do not think I have the power to stop such a thing. Even Cathy politely indicated her pleasure at the invitation, although she began abusing them as soon as they left, speaking of how unacceptable it was to live in such a remote place and how it was likely to be dirty, with so many mines about. Andrew said if she did not wish to go she could return to Stradbroke, which put a stopper in her. He said anyone of importance was likely to be invited and we were very fortunate to have been included. He was concerned about the cost of travel, tho, to go such a distance, and I could tell he was angry to have to be concerned about such costs. He was concerned enough to take out pen and paper and Paterson's road book to calculate the distance, and when he was done, he sighed. He saw that my attention was on him and he said, 'Anne, I will make this Earldom respectable again. I do not know how, but I will.' Poor Andrew, who should have been born to wealth and ease! How my heart aches for him!

"May 19,1779

"I was right that Mr. Darcy would also be invited to the house party at Tremont, and in the very happiest of developments we are to travel with him! He called this morning and said he was going and understood we were to go as well and he wondered if we might like to travel with him as otherwise it would be a lonely journey for him. His parents were making their town carriage available for him and it would be just perfect for four but rather lonely for one. This was what he said, but I could not help but wonder if after having travelled on the continent with Andrew, he was aware of his friend's concerns over the cost of the journey and had come to volunteer a conveyance under the auspices of sociability. Then again, I can imagine so amiable a man as Mr. Darcy being bored to travel all that distance alone, even with some favourites to accompany him from what I understand to be an exceptional library at Pemberley.

"So we are to be in his company for the entire journey to Cornwall! If ever I was to have a chance to capture his heart, it is this. Andrew and Mr. Darcy think it will take us at least four days to travel there, and possibly more if the weather does not oblige us. At least four days, in a carriage with him, breakfasting and dining with him – the thought of it almost makes me faint with anticipation. So long as the weather obliges we are to set out on the 25th.

"The Queen's birthday ball is this evening. Mr. Darcy is not to attend, and I fear it shall be a squeeze and not at all enjoyable, but it will be easier to endure with the knowledge that I have this trip ahead of me."

Elizabeth felt almost certain that things must come to a head at this house party at Tremont. They would all be there, and Lady Anne would travel there with Mr. Darcy, so perhaps their romance might be resolved even sooner. The next entry was of Queen Charlotte's birthday ball, which had indeed proved to be a tremendous squeeze and not at all enjoyed by Lady Anne, although Lady Ellen had come up to her and said – with what had seemed sincerity to Lady Anne – that she was very pleased Lady Anne would be attending the house party. There was one final entry in this journal:

"May 24, 1779

"The weather has been fine today and promises to be such tomorrow, so we shall set out as planned. I have packed all my best dresses, my favourite music, and Sir Charles Grandison, although I hope I shall not get much reading done with Mr. Darcy in the carriage. I hope to converse with him as much as I can, to try to show him what is in my heart – what has been in my heart since nearly the first moment of our meeting."

Several blank pages followed, and Elizabeth presumed Lady Anne had wished to take a new journal with her on her travels. She went back into the hidden room to retrieve the next book. Once there, with the volume in her hand, she felt the same compulsion Lady Anne must have, to hide away from the rest of the world, and pushed the door closed. She sat down on the chaise with the journal and saw that it had been positioned carefully, for she had a fine view of Pemberley's grounds as she read.

"May 30, 1779

"I dared not write anything here while I was sharing a room with Cathy, and so it is only now that I have been placed in this very fine room of my own at Tremont that I feel safe taking this out. Not that I have anything happy to write. Perhaps I would have if I had dared write anything at our first stop overnight, the Star and Garter in Andover. During our first day of travel he was his usual self, I thought, amiable and conversable and solicitous towards Cathy and me, although with those occasional conscious glances towards me or Andrew when Cathy would make one of her absurd statements. And we were a very merry party when we dined that evening, but when we breakfasted that morning, he seemed rather – cold, I suppose I would say – in his manner, particularly towards the two of us ladies. It was raining that morning and I thought perhaps his temper was affected by the delay in our journey, but as the days passed it became clear that this was to be a lasting change in his manners towards me. I have thought and thought over what I could have done to cause it, and all I can think is that I must have shown too much affection that first day, and Mr. Darcy, who seeks a better matrimonial prize, has altered his manners to ensure there are no expectations he cannot meet. I came to understand this about halfway through the journey and it made me tremendously sad, to know I have no chance with him, to not even be able to enjoy those few remaining days in his company before he entered what might be his final field of battle against the Duke of Rougham, to see which of them won the fairest lady's hand.

"I tried to read, but the roads were so bad that it made me feel a little ill, so I was left to watch the scenery for the rest of the journey, as Mr. Darcy and Andrew both chose to read and Cathy mostly just sat and looked like she had been chewing on lemons, her face was so pinched. At one point I tried to ask her if the roads had made her a little ill, as they had me, but she just snapped that she did not have a weak constitution and she was perfectly well, so I didn't ask after her any more after that. It was strange, for the change of horses after this, Mr. Darcy asked if I would like to step out into the yard and take a little air, for he thought it would help if I had been feeling unwell, and he was as solicitous as ever when he handed me down from the carriage. But when it came time to regain the carriage, his manners had grown cold again. I cannot like this new, more mercurial form of him – if he intends to offer for Lady Ellen and therefore pushes me away, let him be firm in his resolve. False hope at such a time can only give the greatest pain."

"Oh no," whispered Elizabeth, feeling poor Lady Anne's heartache deeply, and yet knowing it could not feel so painful for her as it had for the young lady – for her young mother-in-law. But Lady Anne was her mother-in-law, Elizabeth reminded herself, and ultimately she had married her Mr. Darcy. Something had happened, Elizabeth felt certain, something Lady Anne had not witnessed, and Elizabeth had a strong suspicion as to who had been behind it. She had been wrong, she thought, not to give more merit to Lady Catherine as an adversary. Elizabeth read on.

"May 31, 1779

"Tremont is a very nice house. Lord Lynton says it dates back to Queen Elizabeth's time, but I cannot find a trace of anything from that age. The facade is modern as is the decor and furnishings within all of the rooms. It all must have cost a tremendous amount of money and yet it will all pass to a cousin after Lord Lynton dies.

"There are 9 ladies and 10 gentlemen total in the house party. They are all known to me from Almack's but I cannot claim a particularly close connexion to any of them save Mr. Darcy and Lord Hildenborough. I hope I might make better friends with some of the ladies at the party – it is difficult to do so at a ball, particularly for someone like me. At least if I can leave this place with some friendships then something good will have come from this trip.

"Lady Ellen has encouraged the ladies to dress informally, particularly during the day, and so I am very glad grandmother encouraged me to have two riding habits made, even though I do not ride."

"June 1, 1779

"It seems the gentlemen are to go their separate ways at the house party. They lingered for a very long time before joining us in the drawing-room last night after dinner, and it seems they were encouraged to do so by Lord Lynton. As many of his daughter's suitors were within the group, I suspect he wished to take their measure. Then this morning, they formed a plan to go down in Wheal Resolute, one of Lord Lynton's mines, so I expect we shall not see anything of them until dinner. I cannot fault Lady Ellen in her arrangements for entertaining the ladies, however. She has planned that we should have a picnic on the beach and promised easels, paints, charcoals, and paper for any of us who are artistically inclined. I have not drawn anything since my last lesson with Mr. Gintner, so I suppose it will be nice to try again in such a place, for the coast here is very rugged and beautiful.

"Well, since writing the last, we have been on our picnic, and more occurred than I would have expected."

Elizabeth realised someone was calling her name – Darcy, her Mr. Darcy, was calling her name. It sounded as though he had been doing so for some time, and was now in either her dressing-room or bedchamber, looking for her. Guiltily, she comprehended in a sudden rush how incriminating her place here must seem to him – hidden away in his mother's secret room, reading her private journals. She had set aside such qualms in her own curiosity, but it could not be so easy for him to do so. She had done it, though, and would not shy away from her guilt, so she called out,

"I am in here!"

Then she pulled at the little handle on the door and opened it. He was standing in the doorway between her bedchamber and dressing-room, an expression of shock and confusion upon his countenance.

"I – I had no idea that was there," he stated, striding up to where she stood.

"Nor did I, until yesterday," said Elizabeth. "It has your mother's things in it – I believe it was a secret space of hers."

He appeared contemplative for a few moments, but then said, "Jemmy Brown was found guilty, but the punishment was held to a fine, which I have paid. He is free – he returned to Lambton with his family."

"Thank God," Elizabeth said, embracing him. "Your efforts on his behalf did bear fruit, then."

"Yes – the other magistrates did think it odd that the largest landowner in the area was so adamantly against the actions of my nearest magistrate, and Laurence Sinclair was furious. He accused me of trying to usurp his authority, but once the other magistrates understood his own role in the event, they were quite swayed and there was nothing he could do."

"He will be more difficult to deal with now, will he not?"

"Yes, I am certain of it. All the more so because I also learned he intends to pursue enclosure of Kympton's common, and I will fight that with every means at my disposal. We made it through the war without enclosing it, and we shall not do so now to further his own greed."

"It is not just greed – he brought a great degree of debt to Berewick. I have been helping Abigail with her household accounts."

He nodded, and it became apparent that since he had delivered his news from the quarter sessions, his attention was drawn over Elizabeth's shoulder, back towards her discovery. She sighed, and stepped back.

"Come, you should see what is inside. I only found it because I noticed from outside that there was still one set of the old curtains. To think, these have been my chambers for years, and I never noticed."

"You have not spent much time in them, though," he offered, following her in.

Elizabeth showed him the watercolours first, finding him gazing wistfully at all of them – even the one with Wickham – and then Lady Anne's little treasures from the shelves. Finally, she ran her hand along the journals and said, "She kept journals – she wrote at least a little, almost every day." Her face growing very hot, Elizabeth continued, "I must confess I have been reading them. I should have spoken to you of them first, but I was so curious I could not help myself."

He drew her close and kissed her lips, softly. "My darling, I do not think I have ever seen your countenance so pink before. I do not mind – I can very well see how curiosity would have compelled you to do so, and I do think someone should read them. Why else would she have kept journals, but for posterity?"

"I – I think they were more for her own reminiscences."

"If they were such, I think she would have directed my father to destroy them after her death, and he would have obeyed her wishes. He – on his own deathbed, he spoke of a closet, but I thought he referred to the one in the master's bedchamber, and as that is not hidden, I did not comprehend him. I had no idea of there being a secret equivalent in the mistress's bedchamber."

"So you do not mind if I continue reading them?"

"No, indeed I would like for you to do so. My mother was always such an enigma, to me – I knew she loved me, but she was always more a grand lady than a warm parent. I think I would like for some greater insight into her character, but I know not what is in those journals, and I believe it would be best if someone who did not know her reviews them first."

"She was very like you – that much I can see already. Shy, and misunderstood – some of the men called her Lady Silence, and the thought of it injured her very much."

He frowned, but Elizabeth could not tell whether it was the thought of his young mother being harmed by such a sobriquet or reminiscences from his own past that prompted him to do so, and she continued, "Your father seems to be the one person she could always speak to, though, and he refuted the need to call her such a thing. She was in love with him almost from the first moment of their meeting."

"Was she? She was always so deferential to him, but I could never be certain whether it was love or her notion of being an obedient wife."

"It was most certainly love on her part."

"As it was on his," stated Darcy.

"Was it? That has not been clear so far."

Darcy appeared contemplative. "He was deeply affected by her death and I recall his fondness for her while she was alive, but I suppose I cannot say for certain what his feelings were when they first met, nor even when they married. It might have been mere affection that grew into more. I suppose as you read more you shall find out."

"Yes – you interrupted me at a most inopportune time," Elizabeth said, assuaged enough of her guilt now to teaze him. She told him then of the tangled romances between his aunt, uncle, and parents, and concluded, "It is all a very fascinating story."

"Even though you know how it will come out in the end?"

"I know that it will come out, but not how. Your poor mother was very dejected at the loss of Mr. Darcy's attentions. Something happened to cause him to distance himself, and I suspect Lady Catherine was the saboteur. Her opinion of the Darcys's place in society must have undergone some great revision after your mother married your father, for at present Mr. Darcy is a commoner and not to be considered worthy of her sister."

He chuckled softly. "That sounds very like her."

"Your father delighted in tweaking her, I think."

"That I can readily believe – he was never close to Lady Catherine. Even when my mother was alive, we always spent much more time with the Fitzwilliams," he said. "Shall I leave you to continue reading? I believe there is rain coming; I was glad we made it back before it started."

"Yes, if you do not mind – I just want to see how it all comes out. I will read them all if you support it, but I shall slow my pace once their romance is resolved."

He kissed her again, a long, lingering kiss, and then murmured, "I shall leave you to it, then."

Elizabeth picked up the journal and found where she had left off.

"Lady Ellen arranged that carriages should take us to the edge of the beach, and when we arrived, blankets were already laid down with rocks upon the corners to guard against the breeze, and picnic baskets in the middle. The easels were set up as well, and the most eager artists in the party took up places at them, Cathy and Lady Ellen included. I took a little walk down along the shore first – I adore the smell of the seaside. When I came back there were few easels open, but Lady Ellen called out to me that the one nearest to her was not occupied and she would enjoy my company very much. I did not know what to make of this, for I do not think anyone truly enjoys my company, but I did come to stand at that easel and took up a pencil, trying to remember all Mr. Gintner had taught me. I felt that I was making good progress until I looked over at Lady Ellen's easel and I was amazed. The delicacy of her lines, the accuracy and the beauty of the scene she had captured – if she had not 200,000 pounds to her name I am sure she might have been the next Angelica Kauffman. I complimented her in true sincerity – somehow if she is to claim Mr. Darcy, it makes it easier that she does so with more talents than elegance of form, figure, and manners – and a vast fortune, if that can be called a talent. She returned my compliment with what seemed equal candour, saying that of the accomplishments expected of young ladies, this was the one she truly enjoyed, and she expected it was the same for me on the pianoforte and the harpsichord. Then she went so far as to say that while they had not yet had a pianoforte installed at Tremont, she hoped I would practice on the harpsichord in the drawing-room whenever I wished, and that she intended to have a musical evening, on a day when the weather was poor, to consist of an early dinner and then an evening of musical performances from all of the party who played. As I was the best player she hoped I would play whatever I wished, for as long as I wished. I had not expected such a compliment from her and it made me speechless for some moments, but I did just manage to say that I had brought some favourites with me and would be happy to play.

"We had a very fine picnic of the meat pies they call pasties here, with scalloped oysters, a cucumber sallade and saffron cakes, and as we were finishing and the footmen were gathering everything up, the gentlemen came walking down a path from the cliffs above the beach. They all looked very much as tho they had been down in a mine – there was not a clean jacket among them and most of them had some manner of grime upon their faces, Andrew and Mr. Darcy included. They greeted us boisterously and seemed in very good cheer, which I suppose I would be as well to be returned to daylight after being down in a dark, dirty mine.

"The Duke of Rougham proposed we have a walk up to the cliffs, for he said the path up was easy enough that no lady need worry over managing it. We agreed and he was right that the path up was easy. When we reached the top, however, we found the wind much stronger there. I do not like being up high where there is a chance I may fall, and I was beginning to feel a bit distressed. Of course I know I cannot be blown off the edge of a cliff, but I was feeling very much as tho I could be. Just when I was at my most distressed, tho, Mr. Darcy came up beside me with those long strides of his and without saying a word, took my hand and tucked it beneath his arm. He was now between me and the cliff edge and I have never felt so immediately calm, so safe. O! you good, considerate man! You may feel no more for me than a mild affection towards your friend's sister, yet just as you intervened at the masquerade without knowing who the afflicted lady was, yet again you did the same on understanding my distress. Would that I could make you love me!"

"Oh, he does love you!" exclaimed Elizabeth, more convinced than ever. Mr. Darcy's attempts to distance himself from the lady had surely been undone by seeing her distress on the cliff-top – surely his heart was engaged, and he had come to her aid because he could not bear to see her suffering. Elizabeth sympathised with them both, and also with Lady Ellen, another thread in this tangled knot of a romance. She could see Lady Ellen's attempts to befriend the young lady she hoped would be her sister, but she suspected Anne's natural reserve had been supplemented with a certain prickliness towards the woman she thought was her rival. Elizabeth realised then that she had been thinking of Darcy's mother as Anne rather than Lady Anne, that she had now read too much of the lady's private thoughts to avoid such intimacy as referring to her mother-in-law by her Christian name. A few patters on the windowpane informed Elizabeth that Darcy's promised rain had arrived, and she returned her attention to the journal.

"June 3, 1779

"I have not seen much of Mr. Darcy since he gave me his arm beside the cliffs. The gentlemen were again off to their own pursuits yesterday, and although rain has kept us all inside today, yet again I have the sense that he avoids my company. Perhaps he senses that the race for Lady Ellen's hand is drawing to a close, for the Duke of Rougham has been unmistakeable in his attentions towards her. Cathy, tho, seems to think she still has some chance to ensnare him and clung to him like a burr yesterday after dinner. Andrew saw this as well as I did and he came over and sat by me and said 'our sister has absolutely no shame, Anne!' We both watched as, inevitably, the Duke extricated himself and went to pay court to Lady Ellen. This was as I would have expected, but then she left her admirers and came over to sit on the sofa beside me. She told me she expected the rain would continue at least through the morrow and so she thought it would be a good day to hold the musical evening, but she wished to enquire as to whether her principal performer would be ready to play. She smiled very genuinely after this, I thought, and I assured her that I would be. I cannot explain it, but I have the sense that she is endeavouring to befriend me. I do not make friends easily and I would be glad of it – but only if she chooses the Duke of Rougham. I do not think I could bear to be friends with Lady Ellen Darcy.

"June 4, 1779

"Oh, how I wish last night could have been naught but music! If it had been I could have retired quite satisfied with my own performance and with how it was received. But after all of the ladies and Lord Hildenborough – who has quite some talent on the violin – had finished playing, we all lingered in the drawing-room. The footmen brought around more tea, port, and brandy, and no one seemed inclined to stir, for the rain has continued so steady that it is almost certain we will see it tomorrow as well, and this has made everyone inclined to keep town hours. The conversation was general – the topic turned to convictions and how important it was to hold to them. Lady Ellen said she thought there was nothing more courageous than holding true to one's convictions in the face of those who would try to sway them. Her admirers all seemed to agree, until Mr. Darcy spoke. He said that it was always courageous to hold to one's convictions, but it could not be said to always be right, for what if those convictions were wrong? What if one had been influenced into those convictions by those who did not have one's best interests at heart? He looked directly at me as he said it, and I could not understand what he meant by it. Certainly I am not courageous, so perhaps he has found me wanting in that manner. But then why speak of convictions that are wrong? I hardly know what convictions I hold save loving him – does he mean that I am wrong to do so since he will offer for another? His statement provoked a lively debate, but I could hardly follow it, so confused and distressed was I, so I retired to my chamber at the earliest opportunity. I wish we had never come here – I do not know how I shall bear the misery of the coming weeks. Even if I cannot understand the grounds for Mr. Darcy's critique of me, I think it is plain enough that he finds me wanting, and of course he must not find Lady Ellen so. I think I preferred coldness and avoidance to this."

"June 5, 1779

"If I thought myself miserable yesterday, I did not yet understand the depths to which my misery could sink. I have given up any claim to Mr. Darcy, and expect we shall hear of his betrothal to Lady Ellen in the next day or so – and if things go as I expect them to, I will know the pain of my own hand in bringing it about. I had no such expectations when the day began. It was still raining steadily and after breakfast everyone dispersed to find what occupation they could within the house. I went to the drawing-room to practise on the harpsichord a little, but no-one else was there and so when I had finished I went walking through the house, trying to discover where everyone else had gone. At the end of the hallway I saw Lady Ellen enter a room, and then, not more than a minute later, Sir Walter Trevallyn followed her thither. There was something about his posture that disturbed me greatly and I recalled Andrew's warning and rushed down the hallway and into the room. It was Lady Ellen's bedchamber, I learned later. What I found when I entered was poor Lady Ellen had been backed against the wall by Sir Walter and he had his hands on either side of her head. I recalled immediately the man in the bear mask and knew how frightened she must be, even if she is braver than I (which I am sure she is because everyone is braver than I). I called out her name – I babbled some nonsense about how she had promised to give me a drawing lesson – it was the only thing I could think of at such a time – and he backed away and gave me a very angry look and stormed out of the room. Poor Lady Ellen burst into tears then and it occurred to me that maybe she had been trying to befriend me because she needed a friend. I put my arm around her and led her over to the settee at the foot of her bed and sat beside her. She told me this was not the first time Sir Walter had attempted to compromise her, for he wanted her fortune and knew she would not give him her hand willingly. I asked where her companion had been, for I thought such women had the purpose of guarding against this sort of thing, and she said she suspected Mrs. Rowe of being in league with Sir Walter, for she seemed to disappear at the most opportune times for him. I asked as well why she did not take these concerns to her father, but she said he was blind when it came to Sir Walter – she had tried to broach the subject with Lord Lynton and he had said what a capital match it would be, if his daughter and his political protégé were to marry.

"She started weeping again and I felt so badly for her. All this time I have envied her, and I never understood her situation is also difficult, just in a different way. Lady Ellen said she was weary of all of this, of being pursued by so many men who wanted her fortune. She wished she could be married or at least betrothed, so it could all be over, but she would not accept the offers of men she did not love. I told her that any single gentleman in the house would wish to marry her, and asked if she had affections for any of them, fearing her answer as I did so. She said there was one she has far more than affections for – she is entirely in love with him – but she feared because of his situation he would not ask. I said if he thought himself beneath her, it might be her who had to ask. It pained me deeply to say it, but I would rather things come to resolution than continue as they are. She brightened when I said this, and clasped my hands and asked if I truly meant this, and I was forced to endure the pain of saying that I did.

"I walked with her to the library, where it seemed most of the rest of the party had come to sit, so Sir Walter could not attempt to importune her again. I must have looked as poorly as I felt, for Andrew saw me and commented that I looked unwell. I said I had a head-ache, which seemed the best excuse to escape company, and asked if he would walk me up to my room, for I was mindful that I had not made myself a friend of Sir Walter, and he was not in the library. Once Andrew left me alone in my room, I had a good, long cry and that made me feel a little better. Still, tho, when I think of Mr. Darcy, I feel this ache in my chest – I did not understand heartache was a true sensation. Will the feeling lessen in time, I wonder, or will it be this painful every time I am forced to see them, to hear of them? Although it hurts, I feel I did the right thing. I was never meant to win such a fight – I am not fit for such a battlefield. They will be very happy together, I think."

"Oh you poor, selfless creature, it's Andrew she loves!" cried Elizabeth.

"Is it indeed?" asked her husband's voice, his tone one of dry amusement. He was approaching the doorway to the little room with Charles in his arms. "He has need of you. I said I would take him down."

As he helped her with her dress and stays, Elizabeth told him of his mother's selflessness, and that she hoped it would soon be rewarded by pushing things to a resolution by removing Lady Ellen as a perceived romantic rival.

"Do you wish to read while you nurse him?" Darcy asked, gingerly picking up the journal from where she had laid it on the chaise.

"No, I think I shall wait. I have been anticipating this resolution – I do not want to be distracted while I read it," Elizabeth replied, and so it was only when Charles was finished and Darcy had tied her stays, buttoned her dress, and carried him back off to the nursery that she read:

"June 6, 1779

"O, such happiness! Such sweet, exquisite happiness! How wrong I have been! How misled by my own fears! It was not all my fault, for now I know I have my own Brutus and I shall speak to her, but for now I wish to recount the happiest day of my life.

"It did not begin that way, of course. I took a tray in my room again for breakfast and did not attend church, but as the hours passed in the morning I decided I could not hide away forever. I went down to the drawing-room, for I thought practising the harpsichord might inform the house that I had returned to company without my having to talk to anyone. I played for a good half-hour, and poorly, for I was still very distracted, wondering when I would have to face them together. I never noticed Mr. Darcy until I finished playing and he spoke, startling me. I think he asked if I was feeling better, for after he apologised for scaring me, this was what he asked. I could hardly speak but I said I was feeling a little better and he said he was glad to hear it. Then he spoke very happily of the betrothal, as tho it was something I should already be aware of, rather than merely presuming it, and he said he understood it would be announced formally at dinner that evening by Lord Lynton. I had thought I was ready to face the news of their betrothal, but I had not counted on it being him, and him alone, to give it to me. I could not help myself – I began trembling and weeping, and he drew up a chair beside the harpsichord stool and asked if I was feeling unwell again, for he could not see how mention of the betrothal should discomfit me so. But this just made me weep all the more – I was so embarrassed, but I could not make myself stop. He was so kind to me – he said in such a soothing voice that while it would certainly be a large change within my family, he thought gaining a sister such as Lady Ellen would be of great benefit to me, given I did not receive much affection from my current sister.

"I was so confused, and did not yet comprehend him so well as to hope. All I could manage to ask him was what he had meant by sister. At that time – dear man! – he had no notion of my fears, and said very logically that when Lady Ellen married Andrew, she would become my sister. Andrew! Andrew, I cried – I was so shocked and yet a few moments of thought made me recall all the times I had thought Lady Ellen greeting Mr. Darcy warmly, when Andrew had been standing there with him. It had been Mr. Darcy's friend towards whom the warmth had been directed! And dear Andrew, the one man who had been a friend to Lady Ellen, the one who had not pursued her, the one who had felt his situation beneath hers and would never propose – all along it had been Andrew! I understood even then that others would think him a fortune hunter, or would note his roundabout way of gaining the greatest matrimonial prize of the season, but I know Andrew, and even before I spoke to him of it I knew he would not have agreed to marry Lady Ellen unless his own affections were engaged. How quickly I could comprehend these things now, when before my mind had been mired in a muck of my own making – a muck of jealousy, if I must admit.

"After I had all of these realisations, I came to the most important one – that this meant Mr. Darcy was unattached. I began sobbing with relief at this thought, and he gave me his handkerchief and laid his hand on my arm in concern. I hardly know how he did it, but he managed to prise out the truth from me, that I had been upset because I had thought the betrothal would be between him and Lady Ellen. And then – O! my heart! – and then he said he had not been sure if I returned his affections, and I cried that I most certainly did! He said he was sorry for it since we could not marry and I asked him what he meant by that, and he said because I was resolved I would not marry a commoner and my family would not support it. I told him I had resolved no such thing and asked how he had come to think so and he said I had said so in the note I left under his door at the Star and Garter. I knew immediately that it had been Cathy's doing and I was so angry at her in that moment and I still am and we will certainly have words, but it is hard to maintain anger amidst such happiness. I told him I had written no such note and he laid his hand on my cheek and told me I was adorable when I was angry and I giggled and all I could feel was love. Then he clasped my hands and said he was a fool and should have considered the possibility that my sister had been behind it, but he hoped I would listen to a fool's proposal. Then he said very simply, 'Lady Anne Fitzwilliam, will you marry me?' I was weeping, so it was hard to speak, but I managed to say yes.

"Have there ever been two persons so happy in the world? We spoke of our affections – of very long standing, I came to understand, on both sides. For so long I had worried about Lady Ellen, and yet now I learned that his heart was bound within days of meeting me at Stradbroke. It was only his uncertainty in whether I would respond favourably to his addresses that prevented him from speaking sooner. I felt overwhelmed then with a sensation of dread, and asked if he knew where things stood, as regarded papa, if he knew that I had only 10,000 pounds. He said that he was well aware of the former and would not have expected much more than the latter, and I should not worry myself over it, for it was perfectly respectable for someone like him, and moreover, no-one from his family had ever married a daughter of the nobility. I said the Earldom of Brandon was not the most respectable one to marry into at present and he said he'd always had better hopes for the next generation, but now knew with certainty that things would improve. It was only then that I began to think about what 200,000 pounds would do for Stradbroke, to think of all the mortgages paid off, all of the lands restored to the Fitzwilliams. It was a pleasant thought, so long as the affection was not one-sided between Andrew and Lady Ellen, and when a quarter-hour later Andrew interrupted my blissful conversation with Mr. Darcy and said he needed to speak with me, and Mr. Darcy had excused himself from the drawing-room, I told Andrew I was already aware of his betrothal and wished him joy, but asked him as bluntly as I am capable of if he truly loved her. He said that he did, and he would not have agreed to marry her if he did not. Even given this, he still had his doubts as to whether he was doing the right thing. Lady Ellen's fortune would restore his Earldom, but with any other man it would have done much more. I said I did not see how it was better – so long as there were men like Sir Walter out there she stood the chance of being entrapped for her fortune, and I thought it was better for her to marry someone who returned her affections. He got very angry when I mentioned Sir Walter, but then his countenance softened and he said she had told him about my intervention and he was very grateful to me for having done it. He then told me it was not the first time Sir Walter had attempted such a thing – that night she had left Almack's early, it had been because Sir Walter had attempted to importune her, and it had been Andrew who had intervened and guarded her as her carriage was called. I asked if he intended to speak to her father of it and if it would help if I told Lord Lynton what I had seen. He said he did and hoped that I would – that he would go with me as he knew approaching a man like Lord Lynton would intimidate me. Until then he said he hoped I would remain vigilant and I said I would and thought Mr. Darcy would also help keep watch on Sir Walter. There must have been something in the way I said Mr. Darcy's name, or perhaps I was blushing, for he just stared at me and I am sure I blushed still further, and then he asked if I had anything to tell him and I blurted out that we were betrothed. Andrew – that rascal! – said we were not, as no-one had consented to the marriage and I was horrified at the thought of Mr. Darcy having to apply to papa and papa probably being in his cups and then Andrew said he was just teasing me and he had papa's leave to consent to any offer for me and he could not think of a better man for me to marry. He kissed my forehead and said he was very happy for me and he had been hoping for this for a very long time. He asked if we wished to announce it that night along with his betrothal but I said no, I did not want to make Lady Ellen share such an event.

"So I had the pleasure of going down to the drawing-room that evening and receiving a warmer smile than I have ever seen from Mr. Darcy – the smile of a man who knows his affections are returned, and one fully returned by me. We did not sit near each other at dinner, but we exchanged gazes often, particularly when the announcement was made. Almost everyone else looked shocked, except Sir Walter, who looked angry, and Cathy, who looked perturbed. I glared at her, having my own anger still strong whenever I thought about what she had done. As for Lord Lynton, he did not seem quite so happy as he might have been if it had been the Duke of Rougham, but I think Lady Ellen's apparent happiness had some effect on him. The gentlemen did not linger long by themselves – I expect it was an awkward party, composed as it was by numerous men who had just seen their hopes dashed and two who had not. Mr. Darcy came to me as soon as he saw me in the drawing-room and it was a very strange feeling to understand I can compel the very presence I have so long wished for, that I have complete command of his attention when for so long mere scraps have been cause for such happiness. We spoke for some time, of frivolous topics – the wedding will need to be arranged, of course, but the drawing-room was not a place for such talk, particularly without the betrothal being announced. After some time, Lady Ellen approached us and sat close by, saying in a low voice that she understood congratulations were in order. Her smile was soft and sincere, and I returned her felicitations with equal enthusiasm. She thanked me for my role in bringing it about. It is very strange – for so long I disliked her because she is what I am not and has what I have not – or so I thought. Now that I find I have far more reason to like her than dislike her, I think I will be very happy to gain her as a sister. I feel as tho I am gaining a new family, a family more caring and affectionate than my present one, although perhaps that is not fair to mama and grandmother. Neither of them can be described as affectionate, but I do believe they both care about me."

Elizabeth sighed happily and gazed at the raindrops trailing down the window. "You did your best, Cathy, but love won in the end," she murmured. Still, it was awful to think of a sister betraying another sister in such a malicious way – even when Lydia had nearly ruined the entire family, it had been out of foolishness, not any cruelness of intention. Elizabeth wondered if she had taken so warmly to Anne because the young lady's selflessness and goodness of heart reminded her of Jane, although Jane believed far more in the general goodness of people than Anne did, for poor Anne had learned far too young of rakes, of seducers, of men who would gamble away their family's fortune. Anne was not strong, Elizabeth thought, but she was resilient, and now thankfully she would have Mr. Darcy to love her, to care for her, and she would gain a new, far superior sister. Checking her watch, Elizabeth determined she had time for one more entry before she should change for dinner.

"June 7, 1779

"I dressed early this morning and went to see Cathy before she went down to breakfast, for I wanted to confront her before any more of the day passed. When I came to her bedchamber she told me she was glad I had come for she had been wanting to speak to me. She said my attentions towards Mr. Darcy had been much too particular last night. 'He was practically seated in your pocket, Anne,' was how she put it. I said he was welcome to sit as close as was appropriate for my betrothed. O, how surprised she was! She said I could not be and I said yes, I was betrothed to Mr. Darcy in spite of her interference. I asked how she could do it – how she could deliberately forge a note like that when her sister's happiness was at stake. She yelled at me that I should not be thinking to marry for happiness – that was foolish talk and it was why she had sought to set Mr. Darcy straight as should be my expectations. At least Andrew had the good sense to marry shrewdly, she said. I protested that Andrew did love Lady Ellen and to my great shock she slapped me. She said I needed to stop being foolish and do what I needed to do to advance the family. She said the engagement could be easily broken since it had not been announced. I cried that I would never break my engagement. By then I was weeping and worried Cathy would attempt to meddle still more and this was when Andrew came in and found us in such a state. I had my hand on my cheek where Cathy had hit me, and I guess Andrew understood what had happened for he shouted that was enough from her and he was ashamed of her conduct, that his friend was a perfectly eligible match for me and I would be mistress of a very fine house, and unlike her I had become betrothed in my first season rather than chasing impossibilities. Andrew said if she could not behave herself, he would see her sent back to Stradbroke. O, this made her so angry, but she dared not say anything. She just huffed and glared at us until we left.

Andrew asked if I was badly hurt and I said no, my cheek just stung a little, but I was very worried she would do something to sabotage my betrothal. He said he was sure I could find opportunity to speak with Mr. Darcy that day to ensure he knew of Cathy's threat, but if she did follow through on it, Mr. Darcy would surely be on his guard. Andrew said he had been coming to my chamber to see if I would come with him to speak to Lord Lynton, but he was sure I needed some time to settle. I said I would rather have it over with, though, since my tears had dried – so long as there was no mark. He said there was not and asked if I was sure and I said that I was.

I suppose it did not much matter whether I had a mark on my face, for Lord Lynton's study is the darkest room in the house, still full of old panelling and dark old furniture. He greeted Andrew cordially enough and I came to understand that while of course this was not Andrew's first interview with him, Andrew had not broached the subject of Sir Walter before. He told Lord Lynton first of what had happened at Almack's, and as Lady Ellen had predicted, Lord Lynton was dismissive. He said he understood Andrew's concerns but it was quite possible what he had seen he had misconstrued, given his own heart was biassed. Andrew said he understood how my Lord could think this and that was why he had brought me to speak of another incident that had occurred within this house. Lord Lynton had done no more than greet me before this but when he saw how nervous I was to speak he was very kind, telling Andrew to get me a glass of wine and saying 'sit down, my child, and tell me what you saw.' It was probably not a good idea to force myself to speak of such things so soon after my quarrel with Cathy, but Andrew gave me the wine and I drank a little and felt a little better, so I told Lord Lynton of everything I had seen. When I finished, he did not look angry, but his eyes were troubled, and he asked if either of us was aware of why his daughter had not come to him with these concerns, while we had. It was difficult, but I told him of what Lady Ellen had said to me, that she did not think she would be believed. He said he hoped she was wrong but supposed he could not be sure given that was not how matters had come about. If his wife had been alive, he said, he was sure she would have seen it and made him see it as well, for no-one had been a better judge of character than Lady Lynton. I was almost in tears again as he spoke, for he seemed so sad and I think he must have loved her very much. Then he said there was no-one dearer to him in this world than his Ellen and he was aggrieved that she had been left in such a vulnerable situation, and he thanked us for helping her. He asked Andrew why he had not spoken of any of it yesterday when asking for his consent and Andrew very gently reminded him that he had not believed Sir Walter's actions were malicious until my account, and it would have been rather singular to bring one's sister to the interview they had had yesterday.

Lord Lynton nodded and then he looked at me and said, 'you will be my Ellen's sister – she has not had a sister and I am glad she gains one with such a good heart.' I blushed deeply, I am sure, for I have not had a good heart as regards Lady Ellen for so much of our acquaintance. Yet the only person who knows of that is Mr. Darcy, and I am assured of his secrecy. I informed Lord Lynton of my own betrothal to Mr. Darcy, but asked that we wait some days to announce it, as I did not want to conflict with the news of Lady Ellen and Andrew's engagement, and he said that was very kind of me.

I was feeling rather done-for by the time we left the study, and Andrew tried to convince me to go up to my room and rest and have a tray there for breakfast but I did not want to wait to see Mr. Darcy, so I went down to breakfast. It seemed the others had all left, but he and Lady Ellen were still there, waiting for us. I almost giggled at the thought of how I might have perceived such a scene had I come upon it three days ago. There was no impropriety in it, for Mrs. Rowe was seated at the far end of the table, but I certainly would not have understood their attitude to be that of future brother and sister. Mr. Darcy noticed my weariness immediately and came to stand rather closer to me than propriety dictated (and O what a thrill that gave me!) as he pulled out my chair and asked me if I was unwell. I said that I had had a difficult morning but was sure I would be better now that I was among friends. Lady Ellen proposed that since the weather had cleared and the others had already gone off to find their own entertainments, that we might all go out for a drive together in the landau, and she could show us some of the local beauty-spots. I agreed very happily to this, as did everyone else, and I was particularly glad of it because in the walk out to the carriage I had opportunity to speak to Mr. Darcy privately about my concerns that Cathy would interfere further. He said he hoped I would not worry myself over it any longer, for he would never be swayed from his love for me, and if anything troubling did happen, he would speak to me of it. He said he hoped we would always be so honest with each other, and never withhold anything that was troubling. I agreed wholeheartedly and felt very soothed by our conversation. I asked him how he always seemed to know when I was distressed or discomfited, and always knew just what to say. He said he could not explain it, but nearly since the moment of our meeting, he had felt himself particularly attuned to me, and had found himself desirous of making me happy and acting as my protector. He said I was like a delicate rosebud who would bloom beautifully, if just given a chance, and he wanted to shelter me from the wind and the rain so that I could. O! has anything ever been so beautifully said? Has there ever been such a wonderful promise for a man to make to his betrothed?

We sensed, then, that Andrew and Lady Ellen were waiting for us in the landau, and Mr. Darcy handed me in. He took up my hand and quietly held it, once we set out, and although Andrew glanced down and saw what we were about, he only took it as an opportunity to do the same to his betrothed. What a delightful drive we had! Lady Ellen showed us the prettiest cliffs and coves, and I was so pleased with the beauty, the weather, my company! I think this day, which began so awfully, I shall remember as the happiest of my life.

O, and I nearly forgot, but when we returned to the house, there were two carriages in the drive, for Sir Walter and Mrs. Rowe. O how they both looked daggers at all of us, but Sir Walter especially, for he has lost not only a chance at the lady's hand, but now also his patron."

Elizabeth recalled a man once asking for her aunt Ellen's hand in a dance at Almack's, and his being rather curtly rebuffed, and wondered now if that man had been Sir Walter Trevallyn. If it was, she wondered if he had been seeking to apologise for his past conduct, or simply to discomfit her aunt out of spite, all these years later. She supposed she would never know, but was glad at least that Lord Lynton's patronage had been withdrawn, that he had been made to see the true character of the man who had so vexed and frightened poor Lady Ellen.

There was a soft knocking on the door, then, and Elizabeth pulled it open to find her husband standing there. "I told them to have a little dinner served in our sitting-room," he said. "I thought that might spare more time for you to read."

"That was very considerate of you, but I have got to the resolution, and it was wonderful."

"Let me guess – Lord Brandon proposed to Lady Ellen, and my father proposed to my mother."

"You are partially right. Your father did propose to your mother, but it was Lady Ellen who proposed to Lord Brandon."

He chuckled. "I suppose I should have thought of that. It does make sense that a woman of her dowry would be the one to choose, particularly with the earldom in such a state as it was before they married."

"Yes, I am sure Andrew would never have proposed to her – oh dear!" exclaimed Elizabeth, clapping a hand over her mouth. "I am going to have to be very careful, when next I am around Lord Brandon. And Lady Catherine, if ever we reconcile with her – your mother calls her Cathy."

Darcy held out against mirth for some moments, but then slowly but surely it could be seen to overspread his face, and he burst out laughing. Elizabeth followed him into it, but sobered more quickly.

"It was Lady Catherine, who tried to sabotage your mother's chances with Mr. Darcy. She told him Lady Anne would not marry a commoner and had asked her sister to tell him thus. You might not have existed, if your aunt had got her way."

"Let us be glad she did not, then," he said, drily.

"Yes, let us be very glad," Elizabeth said. "And you should know that your father was entirely your mother's equal in loving her – he fell in love with her within days of their first meeting."

"I am glad. It is good to think of their marrying for love."

"It is. And I am so very grateful he loved her thus, for I fear she would have suffered greatly without his love. I am certain she was formed to love one man, and thank God she found him. Beyond her own happiness, if she had not, there would be no you," Elizabeth said, pulling him close and kissing him deeply, a kiss mingled with the passion of their own love and those loves she had been reading about. They separated, breathing heavily, and then she kissed him again.

When finally he could manage to speak, he said, "My darling, is this what happens when you read romantic stories?"

"I suppose so," Elizabeth said, smilingly. "I am feeling very appreciative of good men, at present, and particularly of my own Mr. Darcy."