Episode 25 - Kidnapping and Other Minor Inconveniences, Part 2
Undisclosed location, mid-afternoon...
"It has come to my attention that for some time now, Ikari's loyalty to this organization has been held in doubt," Gutierrez explained. "Some of the council have expressed concerns that, contrary to our little chat when we first met, he secretly is planning something behind our backs. Would you care to elaborate?"
Fuyutsuki merely shrugged before he answered. "Sorry to say, there are some things even he never tells me," the former professor replied, partly-lying through his teeth. "I'm afraid I can't help you there. And don't get me wrong, he may have been my former student, but there's no love lost between us. Between you and me, I'm starting to wonder if all my troubles wouldn't have begun if I hadn't bailed the man out of jail when we first met."
"Intriguing," Gutierrez noted. "Just what was the future Commander of NERV doing in a jail cell in the first place, if you don't mind me asking?"
"He was out one night and got into a fight with some other thugs," Fuyutsuki answered. "Apparently one of them dared to call him a name that set him off. Can't seem to remember what it was at the moment."
"Hmm, in that regard, I know how the man feels," Gutierrez said, recalling his own specific trigger word.
"Apparently he'd actually used his one phone call as a means of finally meeting me. Really, the only other reason I ever had anything to do with Gendo Ikari is because of his wife," Fuyutsuki added.
"Another former student of yours, a Dr. Yui Ikari, if I recall correctly from the dossier we have on you," Gutierrez said.
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Indeed. Bright young woman, she was," he recalled. "It was a groundbreaking paper of hers that first drew her to my attention. Even after she graduated we kept in touch. In the aftermath of Second Impact, I found myself crossing paths with her again after I'd been recruited for a UN-backed expedition to Post-Impact Antarctica." A frown adorned his face for a moment. "It was also where I'd found out that she and Gendo had been engaged. To this day, I still don't know what she saw in that man."
Gutierrez arched an eyebrow. "Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Professor?" he inquired, a slight teasing hidden within his words.
"Oh, don't you go there," Fuyutsuki chided. "If anything, Yui Ikari was like a daughter to me. Even us father-figures can be over-protective sometimes."
Ritsuko Akagi's apartment, mid-afternoon...
Ritsuko opened the door to her abode and quietly stepped right in, shutting it behind her. She'd told her subordinates that she was taking the afternoon off, citing a need to get some rest. After doing a quick bug sweep, she then walked over to her personal computer and turned it on. After booting it up, she quickly keyed in a sequence connecting her to the MAGI, securing it enough that no one would be able to tap into her line. She then typed in the following message:
THE COAST IS CLEAR.
As if answering, a small beep was heard and soon Naoko's face appeared on the monitor, looking around via the webcam just above the screen.
"Hmm, I see some things haven't changed," the digitized elder Akagi noted as she looked around her daughter's dwelling, eyeing in particular a number of cat-themed items.
"Trust me, my 'cat-alog' is one of the very few things that keeps me sane through all this," Ritsuko replied. "But enough 'chit-cat'. It's just us here, so spill: how'd you wind up taking a page from Max Headroom?"
"...It really all starts back at the beginnings of NERV," Naoko started to recount. "The finishing touches on the Geofront were just being put in place. The U.N. Artificial Evolution Laboratory was also about to be reorganized as GEHIRN. All we needed was one other founding member-and we got him the day that Gendo brought Prof. Fuyutsuki to our door. You remember that day, don't you?"
Ritsuko nodded. "I was fifteen then," she replied. "You wanted to show me what you were involved in, said it was some of the most groundbreaking scientific research of the century, if not in the history of humankind. You'd just started work on the MAGI."
"And you were almost out of high school," Naoko said. "Still trying to figure out what you wanted to study in college."
"Some days I wish I'd followed in Dad's footsteps and gone to law school," Ritsuko said with a sigh. "On the bright side, I met Misato when I got to Tokyo U."
"I remember when you first told me about her," Naoko said in turn. "How she was this bright, sunny chatterbox of a girl."
"Yeah, those were the days," Ritsuko said with a soft chuckle. "I do miss them sometimes."
"Don't we all," Naoko affirmed. "I wished I'd been around enough to see how you two got along. Back then I was all cooped up underground; the lunches they provided always left a bad taste in my mouth."
"Must've been the same caterers that provide the sludge we call coffee," Ritsuko added. "Remember that letter I sent you about Misato playing hooky all week?"
"Right, how she and that guy-Kaji, right?-just went all over the place, having fun, enjoying themselves," Naoko answered.
"I was sooo jealous when she mentioned the hot dog-eating contest she won," Ritsuko said as she shook her head, "she devoured all those and didn't gain a ounce! It's like I was best friends with Jughead! And Kaji...I thought he was just a big goofball, I don't know what she saw in him."
"Well, then again, you've never been that good around boys, Ritsuko," Naoko said. "I feel I'm a bit to blame, leaving you on your own most of the time."
"Much as I like walking down memory lane like this," Ritsuko started to say, "can we get to why you're made of zeroes and ones these days?"
"Sorry about that," Naoko said. "Anyway, where it really began for me...was the day of Yui Ikari's ill-fated contact experiment..."
Undisclosed location, around the same time...
"We were quite the brain trust in the GEHIRN days," Fuyutsuki said as he reminisced. "Myself, Yui, Gendo, Naoko Akagi..."
"Four of the most brilliant minds in the fields of metaphysical biology and computer science, all gathered under one subterranean roof," Gutierrez said, causing Fuyutsuki to arch an eyebrow. "I had a few agents within GEHIRN, funneling information to my secret hideaway, nothing too special. One couldn't be too ignorant of possible...opportunities. Now please, continue."
"Very well," Fuyutsuki replied. "I remember one Autumn day where I met with Yui. She was taking hers and Gendo's son, Shinji-he was three at the time-out for a stroll. I was telling her like it is of what I thought of the circumstances that kept me at GEHIRN. How SEELE and Gendo essentially blackmailed and threatened me into staying on. Yui at first didn't seem too perturbed; she'd nearly bought into what they were selling, but she hinted to me of some plan of hers that would throw a wrench into the group's original designs. I'd tried to dissuade her from becoming a test subject, but she said she was doing it all for Shinji." His face grew a bit somber before he kept going. "Then came the day of the contact experiment, one year later. She'd actually brought Shinji along to witness it firsthand. There he was, with Gendo, Naoko and myself in the Pribnow Box, the gigantic thing that was Evangelion Unit-01 before us beyond the glass. Before she set foot in its entry plug, I tried to tell her that Shinji shouldn't be here, that it was her experiment. She said that was exactly why she had him here. That she wanted to show him the bright future..."
Ritsuko's apartment...
"Those were Yui's final words before she entered the plug," Naoko somberly recalled. "The rest you're familiar with." She grimaced slightly before continuing. "I actually felt like I'd gotten what I wanted. I was so foolish back then, thinking that with her gone, I could have a chance with Gendo. Some time after her funeral, the two of us actually started seeing each other. I was stretched thin, between our personal and professional lives. Deep down, a part of me kept trying to say that he would never make any room in his heart, that he'd never forget Yui."
"Oh, mother..." Ritsuko said. The way she was describing it sounded all too familiar.
"Where things began to go wrong was when you came aboard, as a new member of GEHIRN's Tech Development Department." Naoko paused before going on a brief tangent. "I'm, er...sorry you walked in on me and Gendo locked in a passionate embrace..."
"Yeah, real fun way to start my first day," Ritsuko said with a sarcastic shudder.
"Then came the day that Gendo brought a new face to the Geofront," Naoko said. "One with a head of hair that was a distinct shade of blue..."
"Rei Ayanami," Ritsuko figured out immediately. "I definitely remember that day. No surprise as to why her appearance shocked you."
"I'd already had my suspicions once I got a good look at that little girl," Naoko continued. "When I combed through the files to see if I could find anything on her, all that came back was zilch, nothing, zippo. Unfortunately, I never did get my answers in that life. Flash-forward to the day the MAGI was completed..."
"You were so proud that day," Ritsuko mentioned. "You considered it your life's achievement. I was happy for you, don't get me wrong, but also kind of envious-still kind of am-I mean, how was I going to top you compared to that?"
"It was also the day that you went to greet Misato upon her return from the German branch," Naoko reminded her daughter. "You'd decided to head out early so you could beat the traffic."
"Right. You asked me if she and Kaji were still together," Ritsuko said. "I'd told you that they'd broken up. Which then led to the shortest conversation we'd ever had on my love life."
"I know," Naoko replied. "A little while after you'd left, I was looking over my creation, and decided to get a jump on activating it when I heard Rei walk up behind me. I asked if she needed anything, only to hear that she'd gotten lost. I'd offered to help her, but then she started saying things...Things that began to set me off. She'd called me an old hag...I scolded her, telling her she shouldn't say things like that, or she'd get in trouble with Gendo. Then she revealed that those were Gendo's actual words...that he saw me as a pushy, needy, old hag...one that he didn't need anymore..."
Ritsuko's eyes went wide and her mouth went agape upon hearing this. She couldn't believe what she was hearing-that Gendo had used a little girl as a Trojan horse like that, to gaslight her mother...
"I lost it at that point," Naoko grimly admitted. "I nearly lunged for her throat, I was going to silence her..."
Ritsuko covered her mouth in shock.
"...Unfortunately, I'd failed to notice the wet floor sign near my station," Naoko finished. "Apparently the custodial staff didn't mop up everything in that area. The minute I went towards Rei, I slipped and tumbled over the side of the railing. I ended up falling between the three MAGI consoles just as they'd finished powering up. The next thing I knew, I was being electrocuted by so many volts. I also felt as if my mind were being pulled in three separate directions. Before things went dark, I looked up and saw the terrified face of Rei looking down at me. In that moment, I knew that she'd realized what she'd done. How we'd both been used as tools by that...that cruel man..."
Undisclosed location...
"The next day, Kihl and SEELE, under the guise of the Human Instrumentality Committee, dissolved GEHIRN and reorganized it as NERV," Fuyutsuki said.
A pause hung in the air before Gutierrez spoke. "That was quite a gripping, heartbreaking tale you've woven regarding the 'birth' of NERV," Gutierrez commented. "You really had me on the edge on my seat. Yet you failed to provide any insight into Gendo Ikari's intentions..."
"As I said, he really doesn't share a lot with me. I will say one thing regarding your takeover of SEELE," Fuyutsuki started to say, "if there's any upside to it, it's that you had some sense to stop the Human Instrumentality Project." He looked to the side briefly before he continued. "Though I do suspect you've got something even worse planned to take its place."
Gutierrez smiled on hearing that. "Your suspicions would prove to be well-founded..."
Ritsuko's apartment...
Tears began to well in Ritsuko's eyes as Naoko kept going.
"When I awoke, I found my thoughts all...fragmented," Naoko continued. "It was recently that I realized that somehow my mind had been in fact split in three, each part digitized and absorbed into the three components of the MAGI, all corresponding to the aspects of my personality that I'd based each one of them on. It wasn't until Freakazoid entered the MAGI during the 11th Angel's attack that I was able to make myself whole again."
"What...What happened to your body?" Ritsuko asked.
Naoko hesitated a bit before she answered. "I managed to pick up what happened next through bits and pieces of data thought to have been deleted at the time. Gendo ordered a medical team to carry my comatose body to the chamber where Unit-00 laid. Before he did anything else, he quietly escorted Rei back to his office, where he ordered her to repress everything she'd witnessed, to never speak of or discuss it with anyone else."
"That's why she's been so reserved all this time..." Ritsuko said, realizing why Rei was the way she'd been.
Naoko continued. "Gendo then joined the team in Unit-00's chamber, just as they put my body into its entry plug. He then started up a sequence to activate Unit-00. It was a repeat of the circumstances that caused Unit-01 to absorb Yui Ikari. Only this time...my soul was trapped within an EVA's core." Naoko's eyes narrowed a bit. "It's why Unit-00 is so erratic with Rei. Without my mind to ground it with reason, my soul lashes out at those it sees as responsible for its predicament."
"That's...that's horrible..." Ritsuko commented, before anger crept into her voice. "And all this time, he KNEW...he set it all up..."
"Which brings us to now," Naoko said. "I've been working with Freakazoid to stop both Gendo and SEELE's plans ever since. Ritsuko, I'm so, so sorry that you ended up in this mess. And you have no idea just how infuriating it is to see him do to you what he did with me..."
"Well, you'll be glad to know that we haven't been seeing each other lately," Ritsuko replied with bitter amusement. "Ever since this whole Freakazoid business started, he's had his focus mainly on getting the guy out of the way so he can get his own 'Instrumentality Project' underway. And quite frankly, I'm done with him, and more inclined to help Freakazoid out myself. *Sigh* I guess I was right about not really knowing about love and happiness..."
"Now hold on just a minute there," Naoko said. "Just because you got burned once, doesn't mean you should give up on it easily. I mean think about it, there's a whole song by the Supremes that lays it out clearly! You'll meet someone-in fact, I think you already know them."
"I-I do?" Ritsuko asked, confused and curious.
"More than that," Naoko replied. "She's been under your nose the whole time."
"...Wait, 'she'?" Ritsuko paused a bit to consider the implications of that statement. "You think Misato's-? But she and Kaji got back together-!"
"What? NO, not Misato," Naoko said as she interrupted Ritsuko's thought. "She's definitely not your type, trust me."
"Oh yeah," Ritsuko replied. "Waitaminute, are you saying I'm-?!"
"I did mention you had trouble around boys, Ritsuko," Naoko said. "Despite you covering it up under the scientific reasoning of love being 'illogical', part of me had an inkling of a reason why."
"...You know, thinking about it more, it does make sense in a lot of ways," Ritsuko realized. "So if it's not Misato, then who're you talking about?"
"Give it a bit more thought," Naoko answered. "Who else has been there for you, right by your side, and knows you so well?"
Ritsuko indeed gave it some thought, and only one person seemed to come to mind. The fact that it was her in particular gave Ritsuko some pause.
"I...I always knew she had a crush on me, but still...Maya? Are you serious?" Ritsuko asked with a smidge of disbelief.
"Ritsuko, when you've been in control of a computer system connected to nearly the entire Tokyo-3 metropolitan area for as long as I have, you tend to pick up on a number of things," Naoko replied. "(Also, I may have looked at Maya's desktop diary.)"
"You read Maya's computer diary?!" Ritsuko gaped in shock and embarrassment. "MOTHER...!"
"Calm down, I only took small peeks," Naoko said. "But they were enough for me to put the whole picture together. I think Maya's the one, and you know it. So go for it, Ritsuko-if there's anyone in this world who may be able to make you happy, I'm betting on her."
Before Ritsuko could respond, a small pinging was heard.
"Uh-oh, looks like I'm needed for the EVA diagnostics," Naoko noted. "I hate to go, Ritsuko, but I've got to keep up appearances. We'll talk again soon, I promise. Do think about what I said, will you?"
"I understand," Ritsuko replied. "And I will. Thank you, mother."
"See you later," Naoko said before she blinked out. Ritsuko then got up from her chair and went to lie down on her bed. Before she decided to rest a bit, she picked up her phone and dialed a number. She was still thinking before someone picked up on the other line.
"Hello?"
Ritsuko hesitated a bit before she spoke. "Maya? It's me," she responded.
"Sempai? What's up?" the tech asked. "You resting okay?"
"I am, thanks," Ritsuko answered. "...Listen, Maya, I was wondering. Would you...like to get coffee sometime?"
The streets of Tokyo-3, late afternoon...
Freakazoid was continuing on his usual patrol, having dealt with a couple of small crises so far. While scanning the streets as he hung onto a street light, Kusagabe pulled up in his squad car.
"Hey Freakazoid," the policeman started to ask, "wanna check out the International Tokyo Toy Show?"
"Really?! Are-are you serious?!" Freakazoid responded excitedly as he quickly got into the passenger seat of the car. "Let's roll!"
Well, at least it's something I'm also interested in, Kensuke noted.
The International Tokyo Toy Show, minutes later...
Freakazoid and Kusagabe wandered about the convention center, looking upon the vast variety of new toys, video games and merchandise on display.
"Wow," Freakazoid said with wonder and amazement, "do I wish I could get everything in here..."
"Me too, kid," Kusagabe concurred. "By the way-the sub-commander of NERV was abducted earlier today, might be in some kind of trouble."
"He is?!" Freakazoid replied with surprise. "Then what am I doing hanging around here? Thanks for the tip, Kusagabe, there's no time to lose!" Freakazoid then began to run out of the convention center in his usual 'swooshing' style. As he navigated his way throughout the Tokyo-3 area, he eventually came upon a certain pony-tailed 'U.N. special inspector' sneaking about an unmarked building on the outskirts of the city.
"Now, I guess I'll go..." Kaji said to himself.
"Hiya, Kaji!" Freakazoid greeted enthusiastically.
"GAH!" a startled Kaji let out as he jumped and turned to face Freakazoid. "Geez, don't scare me like that!" His face went blank for a moment as he realized just who he was talking to. "Waitaminute, what're you even doing?! You can't be here!"
"I heard that Fuyutsuki got kidnapped and started looking around," Freakazoid answered. "When I saw you sneaking around here, I figured you were probably looking for him too. Hey, I know! Let's team up!"
Kaji gaped at the wacky wonder, and briefly looked our way before turning back to him. "Are you kidding me?! This is a covert rescue mission, and last I checked you're the farthest thing from the word 'covert'!"
"Aw, come ooonnn," Freakazoid pleaded slightly. "I can be sneaky! Besides, the place is probably crawling with armed goons, and you might do better with some superhero backup! Major Katsuragi's probably worried about you, so all the more reason to have me around! C'mon, whaddya say?"
Kaji thought about it for a moment before realizing that the guy had a point. He reluctantly nodded his head in agreement. "All right, you can join me. BUT-and I'm emphasizing this highly-follow my lead, and act real cool. Got it?"
Undisclosed location, minutes later...
The door opened behind where Fuyutsuki was being held, and light flowed into the room. The sub-commander winced a bit as he turned around and looked into the doorway.
"Oh, it's you," Fuyutsuki said as he recognized the newcomer.
"Long time, no see," Kaji replied. "Don't worry, the guards are just taking a little nap." He then walked over and began to undo the former professor's bonds.
"You do realize, this will cost you your life," Fuyutsuki noted as he rubbed his wrists to restore circulation.
"I wouldn't sweat it," Kaji said. "It's not like I came alone."
At that statement, Freakazoid then appeared from the right side of the doorway. "Hiya, Mr. Fuyutsuki!"
Fuyutsuki's eyes widened a bit with surprise, as he did a double-take from Kaji to Freakazoid and back. "You brought him along?"
"He insisted," Kaji grumbled quietly under his breath. "Now come on, let's get you out of here."
The trio poked their heads around a corner, looked both ways, and proceeded to tiptoe through the hallway, while for some strange reason the music of Gilbert and Sullivan began to fill the place. For some stranger reason, the three of them felt compelled to softly sing as they sneaked their way along the walls.
All three:
"Carefully, on tiptoe stealing,
breathing gently, as we may...
Every step with caution feeling,
we shall softly steal a-way..."
The trio jumped slightly upon hearing a random noise and some skittering.
"Goodness me-why, what was that?"
Fuyutsuki:
"Silent, be-'twas just a rat."
All three:
"It 'twas, it 'twas, a ra-a-a-at..."
Unknown voice:
"That's riiight...it 'twas a raaaat...!"
The trio turned to face a squad of SEELE goons behind them, that last lyric having been sung in an impressive alto by their leader.
"Oh, boy..." Kaji said, a sweat drop by his as well as Fuyutsuki's heads.
"Ah, these guys don't look so tough," Freakazoid said confidently and with a dismissive hand wave. "Can you hit as well as you sneak?"
"Course I can," Kaji said as he got into a fighting stance.
Soon the scene erupted into a brawl between Freakazoid and Kaji on one side and the goons on the others, strangely with Nelson Riddle-like music in the background (or sometimes Billy May-esque music, I get confused). For some even stranger reason, each punch or other impact that landed was punctuated by onomatopoeia superimposed in bright colors over the action. A "BIFF!" here, a "BAM!" there, a "POW!" there, and so on. Eventually, figuring that time was a-wastin', Kaji called out to Freakazoid.
"Get Fuyutsuki out of here!" the spy shouted.
"But what about you?!" Freakazoid replied as he sent another goon flying.
"I'll keep them busy, just get him back to NERV HQ, fast! Hurry!" Kaji threw back.
Freakazoid hesitated a bit, before promptly scooping up Fuyutsuki in a fireman's carry and zipping out of the facility. He then quickly got his keys out, hit the button on the tiny remote, and summoned the Freakmobile, which promptly arrived at their location. Freakazoid then secured Fuyutsuki in the passenger's seat, got behind the wheel, and zoomed off straight to NERV HQ. Once they arrived, Freakazoid brought Fuyutsuki out of the Freakmobile and immediately zipped him down into the command center.
"Ta-daaa! Back in the nick of time!" Freakazoid exclaimed. "Be sure to rate my driving, customer feedback is very important to us!"
Fuyutsuki, taking a moment to catch his breath, then looked around the bridge. "Where's Major Katsuragi?"
"Sir!" a random security trooper answered. "She's being kept in a holding cell by Section-2. They suspected Inspector Kaji had a hand in your abduction, and felt that since they were close, she'd know something."
Fuyutsuki was surprised, but soon became mildly outraged. "Well, don't just stand there, have her released immediately!"
NERV HQ cell block, minutes later...
Misato was sitting on the bench in her cell, a magazine laying at her side, when she heard the door open. She winced a bit as her eyes adjusted to the light, and soon saw a Section-2 agent in the doorway, a box containing her sidearm and ID card in his hands. She looked up at the agent, a slight hint of confusion on her face.
"Is it over?" she asked as she stood back up.
"Yes," the agent answered. "As you can see, the problem has been resolved." He then stepped to the side, revealing the newly-returned Fuyutsuki and Freakazoid.
"Sir, are you all right?" Misato asked as she took her belongings back from the agent. "What happened?"
"It's a bit of a long story," Fuyutsuki wearily replied. "I'm sorry that you were detained because of all this. If it weren't for Kaji and Freakazoid, I wouldn't be here now."
"Speaking of," Misato started to ask, "where is Kaji?"
"He stayed behind to keep the SEELE goons distracted," Freakazoid answered. "He told me to take Fuyutsuki and run."
"Kaji..." Misato said, a subtle hint of worry in her voice.
Undisclosed facility, around the same time...
The setting sun shone through the grate of a large industrial fan, casting ominous shadows as a lone figure stood there. Kaji knew it was a dead end, so he simply awaited what was to come. Finally, he heard footsteps, and saw a figure partly-hidden by shadow. Next to it was a small mobile holographic projector.
"Hey, you're late," Kaji said nonchalantly, a trademark sloppy grin on his face.
The figure didn't answer, instead switching the projector on. Soon, an eyepatch-wearing face appeared in the image.
"Actually, Agent Kaji," Gutierrez said, "you are just in time."
Kaji chuckled a bit. "Armando Gutierrez, I presume?" he said. "Never thought I'd be face-to-face with the holy grail of law enforcement agencies."
"It pleases me that you feel so honored," Gutierrez replied. "However, I'm afraid our time together will be quite short. You must surely be aware of the fate of those who know too much..."
"I knew that when I first got into the intelligence game," Kaji said.
"Well then, allow me to throw you for a bit of a loop," Gutierrez hinted at. "No, Kaji, I shall do far worse. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried-" Gutierrez paused abruptly, as he realized he was getting a bit carried away there. "Oh, pardon me-wrong script." He then turned to the figure in shadow. "Kid Carrion, you may fire when ready."
The figure then stepped out, giving Kaji quite the surprise. He resembled an undead Wild West outlaw, complete with the holstered 'shooting irons'. Kid Carrion then quickly drew one of them and fired; to Kaji's surprise, he didn't drop dead upon impact. Instead, he felt a slight prick in his neck, and when he touched it, his fingers came upon a dart embedded in his skin. As soon as he realized it, he began to feel sleepy, and soon fell unconscious.
Gutierrez gave the agent a brief look-over before turning to Kid Carrion. "Take him to the transport and have him dropped off on the island," he ordered. "I'm certain our...associate wouldn't mind a new addition to his research subjects."
A tropical island in the Pacific, later...
The sound of seawater lapping at his feet caused Kaji to slowly awaken, as did the feel of warm sand on his face. He slowly opened his eyes and started to get up, taking stock of his surroundings. Soon enough, he realized he was on an island, and a quick scan of the horizon showed no other land masses in sight. He then heard footsteps from behind, and turned around to find himself face-to-face with three very tall, hairy simian-looking humanoids, all oddly wearing glasses. Two of them parted for their master to make his presence known. Shocking Kaji even further was the very large, ferocious-looking white-furred saber-tooth tiger right next to him.
"My, my, this is a welcome sight indeed," the master said in a very hammy, very British-sounding voice. "It's been so long since I've had a potential test subject wash up on my shores, hasn't it, Sparkle?"
The saber-tooth tiger growled a bit in response.
"Akbar! Ringo! Fatima! Escort our new arrival to the bungalow," the master ordered. "He'll need to rest up...before the fun begins..."
Kaji, a look of shock still on his face, turned to face us as he then said the following, fitting thing:
"Bum-bum-BUMMMMMM!"
To be continued...
**Author's Note(s)**
Things sure aren't looking good for our intrepid agent, are they?
As you can see, for this more kid-friendly take on the EVA mythos, I altered the circumstances of Naoko's 'demise': it explains how Naoko could re-manifest as a digital entity, while also throwing a bone to the theory of her soul being trapped in Unit-00. As for Rei, a key part of her backstory was changed here, meaning that the Rei Ayanami you've been following in this story...has been Rei I! She never got replaced, and thus made it to her teen years!
Gendo having Rei repress her memory like that is a small riff on what happens to the title character in the rock opera Tommy.
The song that Naoko refers to is "You Can't Hurry Love" by The Supremes, which was later covered by Phil Collins.
Kaji, when reluctantly agreeing to team up with Freakazoid, quotes Peter Griffin/Han Solo in the first Family Guy/Star Wars special, "Blue Harvest". Won't be the only time it's quoted...
Kaji, Fuyutsuki, and Freakazoid sing a slight variation on "Carefully on Tiptoe Stealing" from the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta The HMS Pinafore, much as Freakazoid and company did in my favorite episode of the series, which'll be invoked in the following chapter.
Kaji and Freakazoid's fight with the SEELE goons is a spoof of the fight sequences from the 1966 Batman TV show, much as the one from the final Freakazoid episode "Normadeus" was.
Much like Gutierrez did in "The Chip" Part 1, again he invokes another famous Ricardo Montalban character in Khan Noonien Singh in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
And now, some fun that also involves learning!
Omake 10 - Useless Facts...About NERV
The shot opened on a nice-looking billboard standing outside Tokyo-3, a butterfly flying in front of it briefly. On it was the following:
Useful Facts
Yakko: "And now, it's time for..."
All of a sudden, a large, stone-like object fell on the billboard, smashing it to pieces. Carved into the stone was:
"Useless Facts...About NERV"
The scene then cut to the interior of NERV HQ. Standing before us was Yakko Warner, wearing the trademark tan uniform jacket of NERV Technical Division 1.
Yakko: "The architect who designed the hallways of NERV headquarters previously designed corn mazes and carnival funhouses."
A group of NERV personnel was then seen wandering through the halls, unable to make heads or tails of what direction they're heading in, and unnerved by the occasional bank of distorting mirrors.
The scene then shifted to a break room. Misato, Maya, and Makoto were standing inside, chatting as they had cups of coffee. Just as they each took a sip...
Yakko: "The coffee provided in NERV's break room is made from flat Diet Coke and previously-used coffee grounds."
Upon hearing that, the trio's eyes widened, and they spit their 'coffee' out, disgusted by the revelation.
Yakko [looking at them]: "You ever consider switching to decaf?"
The three of them just stared at Yakko, befuddled.
The scene then cut to the EVA cages, where crews in HAZMAT suits were hard at work...removing the foot armor from Unit-01. The sound of a foghorn could be heard in the background as stink lines started appearing above the giant appendage.
Yakko [in his own HAZMAT suit]: "It takes an entire dump truck of Gold Bond foot powder to rid an Evangelion of foot odor."
At one technician's signal, one such dump truck was driven in reverse towards the right foot of Unit-01. As soon as it reached its target position, the driver then proceeded to empty the bucket's entire payload of powder onto the EVA's foot. All technicians in the area soon breathed a sigh of relief.
The scene then cut to the pilots' locker rooms, which all four pilots had just stepped out of. Yakko popped into view, blocking Toji below the waist. Toji himself was fiddling with the controls on his left cuff.
Yakko: "A plugsuit has multiple visibility settings."
Toji accidentally shifted the visibility on his plugsuit to its lowest setting, unintentionally making it completely transparent. A greatly-surprised Asuka shrieked as she covered her eyes, while Toji, embarrassed, covered his lower half with his hands. A couple of sweat drops appeared by Shinji and Rei's heads.
Yakko: "This has been..."
A title card with the stone carving from before then fell into view.
"Useless Facts...About NERV"