When Severus' alarm charm woke him at half past six on Monday morning his homenum revelio spell revealed nothing. He walked through to his living room in his pyjamas and found the blanket folded neatly on the sofa and the calming draught empty on the coffee table.

He did his usual morning routine and prepared for his lessons at nine o' clock.

Serena took a shower and dressed in a simple pair of burgundy robes.

Remus came over at nine o' clock, he didn't work Monday mornings, so he ordered them brunch and they ate together in her quarters, talking about the meeting the previous night.

"And Sirius says that Albus has accepted his proposition for Headquarters," Remus explained through a mouthful of pancakes. "He went there himself yesterday, apparently, to check the security and put certain measures in place."

"Well that's good news. We can't carry on in the school."

"It's not a very nice house, mind you, it will need a lot of work."

"Well there's enough of us I suppose."

Remus stayed for a couple of hours and insisted that Serena come to his that evening with a bottle of wine.

She spent the afternoon in Greenhouse Five, Pomona had suggested that she give her a hand turning the earth. Apparently certain ingredients for potions couldn't have magic interfere in their growth, and so everything had to be done the muggle way. The hard work and the repetitive movements soothed her and helped her work out her anger and frustration. She worked until almost six o'clock, completely forgetting her potion, until Severus himself tapped on the greenhouse door.

She wiped sweat from her brow and wiped her hands on her gardening robes.

"Hi."

"Professor Lake."

"I'm sorry, I lost track of time…"

"On the contrary, it is a positive sign if your body has not claimed the potion. I would advise you to take it all the same, although I have reduced the dose ever so slightly." Severus placed the bottle on top of the wooden drawers by the entrance and turned to leave.

"Severus," she said quickly, "I er… I'm staying with Remus tonight… just to let you know."

Severus gave her a small bow and left, not showing any sign of the disappointment and jealousy he felt inside.

Serena tidied up, showered and flood to Remus' office with a bottle of wine in her hand. They sat up until late, talking about the past and the future, until Remus, understanding straight away that Serena was reluctant to leave, transfigured the sofa into something a little wider, conjured her a pillow and a blanket and bid her a good night. He left a vial of her calming draught on the table next to her, knowing now why Severus had left it with him.

Serena lay awake for a while thinking about the day that was to come and the past that she would have to lay to rest.

…

She had a quick coffee the next morning before flooing back to her rooms, showering and changing into black muggle jeans and a black Rolling Stones t shirt that Kingsley had bought for her during one of their shopping trips not far from his apartment.

When she was ready, she gathered all her courage and headed down to a part of the castle she had never been to before. She was surprised when she was met by Albus.

"Hello, my dear," he greeted her gently, "Is it time?"

She pressed her lips tightly together and nodded. "Is he in there?" she nodded to the two simple wooden doors that stood before them.

"He is," Albus said quietly. "This is the chapel. I must forewarn you, magic will ensure that he looks the same."

She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she was suddenly grateful that she didn't have to walk through the doors by herself, she wasn't sure if she would have been brave enough. "Come on then."

Albus opened the door wide and she followed him into oval shaped room. There were several wooden pews facing an open coffin at the front. She glanced around at the plain white walls and the coloured windows with sunlight spilling in. She walked cautiously down the aisle, willing one foot in front of the other, trying to control her breathing as her breaths started coming in short gasps. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw him. Albus had been right; he could have been sleeping. He looked so full of life and yet… She reached out a trembling hand to touch his cheek and when she felt nothing but cold skin she couldn't contain her own emotions. Tears overwhelmed her, her head found his chest as her knees buckled and a sound of pure grief escaped from her. She cried and cried over the man she loved, feeling his robes, smelling his smoky smell and realising it would be for the last time.

Albus had retreated to the back of the room, silent tears rolling down his wrinkled face into his white beard.

"K-Kingsley…" she sobbed on and on, her heart breaking and shattering into uncountable pieces, her body hurting with the pain that was upon her. Here he was, gone, cold, dead, and this was when she accepted what had happened. He was gone, he was really gone and he was never coming back.

With trembling hands she took of her engagement ring, the beautiful diamond reflecting the colours of the windows in the most delicate way. Slowly, she placed it into Kingsley's hand and clenched his fingers around it.

"I love you," she whispered to him, "And I would have been so proud to have been your wife… I'll never forget you…"

Serena took a last glance at her Kingsley and then turned and left. When Albus followed her a few seconds later she was looking as though nothing had happened. Albus noticed the glamour charm on her face, but he decided to say nothing.

"I think that was the hardest thing I've ever done."

Albus placed a comforting hand around her shoulder, suddenly feeling how cold she was and how cold the air around her was too.

"Shall we get some air?" she asked Albus lightly, and the two of them strolled out into the Spring air together.

"Samuel has contacted me about the funeral arrangements…" Albus said as they walked. "I believe he is handling everything?"

"Yes, I trust him, I wouldn't know where to begin… I don't even know if…"

"Yes?"

She shrugged and looked out over the lake. "I don't even know whether to go, I dunno… I… I've never been to a wizard's funeral before, I don't even know what happens, we never talked about anything like this with Kingsley… Are people expecting me to speak? Who will be there? Is it a ministry funeral?"

"Serena, Serena, calm yourself dear child… Albus took her cold hands and squeezed them comfortingly.

"The ceremony is to be held outside. The ceremony will be for any friends and family, as well as work colleagues and ministry officials. I believe Samuel will speak, and I would presume some of Fudge's staff will have words to say."

"After the ceremony, if you wish, Sirius has offered us his house so that just close friends and order members can stay and say a toast in his memory. Sirius' house will become the new headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is the vote gets passed."

"That's nice of Sirius," she sniffed.

"Kingsley helped him out of a tough spot with his motorcycle a few years ago and they have been friends ever since."

"What happens to his…" she couldn't bring herself to say 'body'.

"At the end of the ceremony it will be cremated in a wizarding fashion."

She nodded slowly at that. "Good."

"I am sure Samuel will contact you, but the date has been set for next week, the seventh of April."

"Ok." Serena sighed, feeling as though she was in an outer body experience. Was this really happening? Was she really discussing Kingsley's funeral arrangements?

"Now come, my dear, let us see what the house elves have prepared for us today."

Serena wouldn't have done it with anyone else, but Albus reassured her that the students missed her and wanted to know if she was ok. That was how she found herself at the staff table eating lunch with Albus whilst student's heads bobbed up and risked glances at her, or heads buried together and whispered. The worst came from the Slytherin table where all the students refused to look at her completely.

They were confused, she realised. They had learnt that her future husband, and the auror that had been walking the corridors for the last six months was dead, and yet some of their fathers and uncles had been arrested for doing it… how were they supposed to understand, she thought to herself sadly.

Minerva joined them for lunch and told Serena all about her morning's lessons and how seventh year Jennifer Bones had managed to transfigure her finger into a caterpillar.

"You know…" Minerva sighed, looking out at the students. "Life will go on… And you will find happiness again…" Minerva put down her fork and her eyes turned glassy as though she was remembering something from long ago. "My first husband died when I was your age," she said in matter-of-fact voice. Serena looked up at her sharply, shocked by the words and the calmness with which the older witch had delivered them. "Yes, he was a healer in St. Mungo's… there was a terrible accident, someone from the Janus Thickey ward got hold of a wand and blew up half of the ward…"

"That's awful," Serena said quietly.

"Mm. It was a shock. I had our lives planned out before us, we were married, I hoped for children… and then I found myself alone… it was difficult at first, but it gets easier, I promise you."

Serena bit her lip hard and took in the comforting words of Minerva who had gone back to eating her meal. She felt like those were the most honest and most useful words anyone had spoken to her yet.

"Thank you, Minerva," she said quietly, trying to show Minerva just how much it meant to her that she had shared her personal story with her.