Ch 47

Ben

I could sense her approaching the kitchen. It was a little strange, I could sense her a lot easier now. This bond was still new to the both of us, how do you go from being alone all your life to suddenly having someone in your head 24/7?

"Good morning" she said as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I turned around and I could feel myself relax as I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Good morning princess, do you want some food?"

She looked up and nodded and I let her go. I had already made some eggs and when I went into town, a small bakery had just made fresh pastries. I brought back a few that I thought she would enjoy.

"Where did you go so early? I missed you" she said as she pulled a chair out and I placed her food in front of her. Her eyes went wide as I placed a pastry on a napkin next to her.

"What is that?! It smells delicious!" I laughed at her and saw how excited she was over the fresh and fruity smell of the doughy deliciousness.

"I'll make sure to get more of them next time…" I told her as she took a bite and then proceeded to eat her eggs. "How… are you feeling?"

She looked up a little and blushed slightly.

"I'm alright just… a little sore but I think that's normal. What about you?"

"I'm fine, I do feel tired still, but overall I… rather enjoyed myself with you" her blush deepened at my words, but she continued to eat.

"You still haven't answered my question…we went into town just yesterday, surely whatever you needed could have waited?" I could feel her trying to pry into my head and it took a lot of strength to either not shove her out or keep her from prying any further.

So, sighed and figured I might as well come out and tell her the truth.

"Did you have… any weird dreams last night?" I asked her.

She raised her eyebrow in confusion, before she answered I continued.

"I had a dream that… you were pregnant, but I killed you and the… child… and I enjoyed it… When I woke up I realized there were a lot of undealt fears I still had" I looked at her face for any indication of how she was feeling. It had gone extremely quiet through our bond.

"I… don't know if I'm yet ready to be a father… I'm not saying ever, but after last night I thought maybe we could take precautions. We aren't in a good place to bring a child into the world, we are on the run and I… don't want to fail them the way my parents failed me"

I got up and walked towards the counter where I had left a small bag. I pulled out two things, one was a small bottle with one pill, the other a box with birth control that we would both need to take to be safe for a year.

She was looking at the table, she was frozen in place but in her eyes, I could see she was thinking. The words that came out of her mouth came as a shock.

"I understand, and I agree, we should take precautions." She said as she reached for the bottle with one pill, she read the cover silently, knowing it was a morning after pill.

"And… as much as I would want a family now, I think I have fears too. Fears of not being enough to protect them… at least until we figure how to work this bond" I looked at her and tried to search her mind, she was being honest but there was something hidden behind her thoughts.

"Rey… What's on your mind?" I asked her.

She looked at me, fear now evident in her eyes.

"The darkness, it's been around us since you came back… I feel the pull to it and there's times I want to take it because being balanced is… difficult. I think it wants us both Ben"

I sighed, I knew exactly what she was talking about. It was difficult to not be either completely dark or completely in the light. I knew I wouldn't go back to the dark but sometimes it promised things and its call felt so soothing…

"I dreamt the other night on the ship, that it took you and… we had children and it took them too… I couldn't protect you or them, I was helpless" she said as she hung her head and she began to shake.

She was crying.

I walked over to her and put my hand under her chin and lifted her face up to me.

"We will get through this I promise, we just have to start training together."

"And that's why I'm here, I hope you're both ready" said a voice behind us. It startled us both and we jumped into fighting positions. Rey had even jumped out of her chair.

"Well I'm happy to see you're ready to fight, but it's all in the mind. You've proven you can fight together in the past, but how connected are you mentally? The more you can hone in on that connection, the more improved your fighting will become. You'll draw more from each other, a balance"

Mind. Body. Soul.

We both relaxed once we saw it was my grandfather.

"Alright, let's get started then" said Rey as she walked past me and out the door.