Chapter 27

After a stern warning from Uther about speaking of the day's event to anyone, I'm confident to say that my mouth has been sealed shut out of terror from the man. I'm not sure if it counts to Leon since he was there, I'm sure he received a similar warning, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to just explain what happened to him. He seemed put off earlier.

As night comes, I pass Castor who is going to his own chambers, giving him a small smile in passing before entering Leon's chambers. The knight is leaning up against the wall, looking out his window.

I open my mouth to say hello but his own words beat me to it.

"You weren't in Ealdor where you?" he asks. I blink in shock, opening and closing my mouth like a fish, not sure how to answer but I settle on the truth.

"No, I wasn't."

"Why did you lie?" he demands, turning around from the window.

He walks up to me and I can see the lines deepening on his face and his eyes flicker between my own. I swallow, suddenly feeling little in front of him, like all he had to do was stand tall and all the power I've ever held, how little it may be, has been taken away from me in a blink of an eye.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I couldn't exactly tell you I was helping Arthur," I add in defence. "At least I told you that I was going somewhere."

"That's not the point," he snaps, and I flinch back at his voice. It reminds me of Arthur's anger towards me when he pointed the sword at his throat only this time its words. "I wanted you to tell me so that I knew you were safe."

"I was safe, I had Arthur and Merlin," I defend pathetically. Leon growls, turning away from me once again.

"I can't keep doing this, Elena."

"What – what do you mean?" My eyes stayed glued to his back, my heart jumping into my throat while my stomach is sinking, leaving a hollow and sickening feeling in the middle of me.

"I can't keep worrying about you when you run off. You're always with Merlin. And I'm happy that you have friends but he's always getting you caught up in things," he spits.

"It's not like he can help it!" I cry, throwing an arm out in despair.

"Then don't hang around him. Keep yourself out of trouble!"

"I'm not going to ignore my friend whenever he's in trouble. I'm going to help him because that's what friends do!" I shriek.

"Then can you tell me where you're going every time you sneak out of the castle?" he demands, looking back over his shoulder to me. "Can you at least tell me what you are up to when I don't see you? I never know if you've gone to the markets or off on a mission that you might never come back on." I falter, the words dying in my throat. I'm not going to tell one of Uther's most loyal and higher-ranking Knights that the Prince's servant is a warlock. "I thought so," Leon mutters, turning back around.

"You risk your life every day! Do you think I'm not worried about you? I trust that you'll come back to me."

"I'm trained for this! You're not! This is my job but you're a seamstress with no idea how to actually defend yourself!"

I stand there, watching him through blurry eyes. Any words I may have had dying in my throat.

"So what now?" I finally croak, my throat burning from trying to hold everything back. Leon doesn't look back, only shrugging his shoulders.

"I can't keep doing this Elena. Either you stop putting yourself in these situations or…" he trails off, but he doesn't need to say the words for me to understand.

It's the ultimatum. Merlin or Leon. Or should I say Merlin and Arthur versus Leon? I had briefly thought about the possibility of having to choose one day but if I'm being honest with myself, I never truly thought I would have to make the decision. It always seemed as though if I'm choosing Arthur, I'm choosing Camelot and Leon is a part of that.

But because of secrets, both my own and others that weigh on me that could control people's lives, I'm being forced to make that decision now, unprepared. I don't want to give him up. Not now or ever. But my feelings don't matter in the bigger scheme of things. Merlin and Arthur are the priority and like Merlin said, sometimes we have to make sacrifices. I thought he was talking about myself. My life. I could do that without hesitation if it came to it, but this…this is so much more painful.

But how dare he make me chose.

Riddled with anger and frustration, I finally find the words to speak.

"I wish I never came back," I spit. Leon turns around, watching me with wide eyes. There's a pain in them, and I know I'm the cause of that. But there's a pain in me right now that he's the cause of and I want to hurt him back.

"So do I," he says, his voice and face remaining flat

My fingers clamp around the emerald necklace, breaking the chain off of my neck and chuck it to the floor near his feet. His eyes drop to the necklace and neither of us speaks.

I spin, storming out of his room and slam the door behind me. I lean against it, breathing heavily as the salty water drips down my cheeks. I don't want to be alone.

I wipe my cheeks roughly with my palms and quickly walk over to Castor's door, knocking on it loudly. He answers rather quickly.

"Ele…" he trails off tiredly as he takes in my condition. He silently steps aside, letting me in the door and I walk into his arms, finally breaking down without needing to hold back. The door shuts behind me and his arms embrace me back wordlessly.

We stay there, swaying as I sob loudly into his chest, unable to form any words to explain myself. He leads me over to his bed and I curl up on it, leaning against the headboard.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asks softly.

"Leon. He was angry that I'm always doing things with Merlin. And he knows that we get into…bad situations and he doesn't want me to help anymore. But I can't not help Merlin, Cas. I just can't."

"Of course not. Leon will get over it. He just doesn't understand everything. All he sees is you running into danger with a helpless servant," he says, sitting down next to me.

"But he's not helpless," I argue. "And we're doing it for Arthur. He risks his life every day as a knight! I know how to use a sword. And not to mention I'm a Vessel, I'm meant to stand with Merlin and help him."

"I know," he sympathises. "As I said, Leon will see that. Well, maybe not the entire truth but one day he'll see that that is where you belong."

"He told me he wished I never came back," I spit. Castor's face drops into a perplexed frown.

"What?"

"I mean, I told him I wish I'd never come back, and he agreed," I reword. "Maybe I should leave…no, that was a stupid decision the first time. I'm here for Merlin. For Arthur." I say it mostly to reassure myself, define my role here to myself.

"Why did you say that?" Castor whispers. "Is that how you actually feel?"

"No," I shake my head. "Of course not. I met a great friend out there, but Camelot is my home."

"Then why did you say that to him?" he wonders with exasperation.

"Because I was hurt!"

Castor sighs again, leaning back against the wall.

"Just take the night to breathe then talk again in the morning," he instructs but I shake my head fruitlessly.

"No… he broke it off Castor. He's done with me," I murmur, now feeling more tired than anything else. "I think I'm just going to go to bed."

"Are you going to be ok?" I nod, pushing off the bed. "Alright. I'm going to go speak with Leon. See where his mind is at."

I don't reply, just walking out towards my room but as soon as the night air hits me from an open window my tiredness goes away. I peek over my shoulder, watching Castor enter Leon's room and the door closes behind them. I walk, walk straight past my room and onto the stairwell, an odd but well-needed destination in mind.

I would knock on his door, but I doubt he's awake to answer. I feel bad about this but I need it now more than anything and he's the only person I can think to go to. I hesitate as I open the door but I force myself into the room.

The room itself is so quiet it's eerie; dark shadows casting over light shadows, only soft moonlight peering through the open windows. I think of the scandal that would circulate the castle rumours if I was caught right now but I'm sure I wasn't followed.

I tiptoe over to the bed, the figure lying inside it tossed about, lying wide open, one arm bent in the air from the odd angle and his hair pushed up unattractively from his pillow. Not to mention his snoring.

I gently place a hand on his shoulder, being careful not to startle him and have myself strangled. I shake it, starting off soft then working my way up.

"Arthur," I whisper cry. He groans, rolling over to block the shoulder I was grabbing. I purse my lips, grabbing his wrist and shaking his hand instead. "Arthur!"

The Prince lets out a short cry of shock, leaning backwards away from my face. I stand back a little giving him the space to wake up. He groggily wipes his eyes, blinking as he tries to focus.

"Elena?" he asks slowly. "What on earth are you doing?"

"I'm sorry. Really, but I…I just wanted to ask you a favour."

"In the middle of the night?" he presses in exasperation.

"Yes," I sigh. He sits up, letting the sheet drop from his shoulders. He looks at me closer.

"Have you been crying?" he inquires. I shrug, not wanting to answer. "Elena, what's going on? Has something happened?" he begins to rush out of bed, but I quickly shake my head.

"No! No… I just…" I sigh, not wanting to beat around the bush. "Can you come out and have some practice fights with me. I need to take my mind off of things and I should practice."

Arthur rests his feet against the floor near where I am still on my knees from waking him up. He watches me for a moment I pray that I haven't annoyed him too much.

"Some training? Alright," he agrees, much to my surprise. "But tell me what's happened first. Is it anything I should be worried about?"

I realise I'm going to have to if I want to train.

"I just had an argument with Leon. We're not on the same page so we ended things."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise," he replies quietly. "I'll meet you down at the training grounds in half an hour."

"Thank you," I say, walking back out of his chambers to let him get ready in peace.

I go back to my chambers, not needing to change since I'm still in my riding clothes but I grab my sword, attaching it to my waist. I wait a while, estimating the time and after a while I go down to the training grounds, meeting Arthur who is arriving at the same time, now fully dressed.

"So you can dress yourself," I tease, eager to have a happy atmosphere. Arthur narrows his eyes playfully. "Don't worry, I won't tell Merlin."

"I'll ignore that," he cheeks, clearly hinting onto to my desire to be light-hearted. "Let's go put some armour on." He gestures to the armoury where there is some training gear as well.

"What? On me as well?" I gasp. I've never worn armour before.

"Yes, I don't want to hurt you, even in training it can happen," he responds.

We enter the armour and Arthur picks out a small chain-link piece, holding it up to me to compare size.

"That should do," he says, handing it over.

Arthur is already in his own chainmail, so he waits for me to put the heavy armour on. Once it's over my head I move my arms about, testing out the moveability. It falls to my high thigh and while it feels uncomfortable enough to know it's there, it feels like it fits well enough. I do a little twirl for him.

"Alright, that looks fine for tonight," Arthur observes, checking the fit for himself by pulling on certain areas. "We won't worry about the rest; this is just the add a bit of extra protection. I'll make sure to keep away from anywhere else," he assures, and I smile at the thought of kindness. It's a simple kindness, probably one he doesn't even recognise as but it shows that he cares and I'm proud of him, reaffirming my decision of choosing Merlin and him.

We walk onto the training field, the entire thing empty expect for us (because, you know, middle of the night). Arthur draws his sword, swinging it about majestically and I blandly pull mine out, holding it front of me.

"Now I know you can use it, I've seen you so let's see what you can do," he says, moving into a defensive stand. I move to the same, waiting for him to move first but he doesn't so I take the first swing.

Now, in no way am I expecting to win against Arthur, nor do I expect him to go easy on me. I trust him to treat me like a normal recruit. We swing for a while, mostly with me on the offensive but I do manage to use a few defensive moves. I imagine Arthur as Gwaine, teasing me as he usually would when we train. Although, there are times that when he was teaching me something he thought important and all that playfulness would drop and he would focus intently of everything, as though it was the most important thing in the world. Those are the lesson I knew I should really pay attention to. The lessons that would save my life.

Finally, Arthur manages to hold his sword up to my neck and we both breathe heavily, sweat pouring down both our forehead even in the cool night breeze. He could have done this many times, but the aim was to train me, not win a match. He spent the whole time correcting me, teaching me techniques and letting me tests them.

"You're better than I expected. Who taught you?" he says between breaths.

"A man I met while I was travelling. Taught me everything you just saw," I reply, sitting down on the grass.

"You pulled some moves I've never even seen before."

"I know," I giggle. "That's why I asked him to be my teacher. The man actually saved me and I saw how he handled his sword and I didn't let him go until he promised to teach me. He was salty for a while but I miss him."

Arthur sits down next to me on the grass, looking towards the castle.

"So why didn't you stay out there with him. Or leave again?"

"Because there are people here that I care about too. People that need me more and people that I need. I didn't need Gwaine, not really but I would count him as a close friend."

Arthur looks to me as I speak, taking in my words.

"And who needs you here?" I raise my eyebrow at the way it sounded but I only tease as I know he's just asking because of my words. "Sorry," he groans. "That came out wrong." I laugh, leaning down onto the grass to stare up at the sky.

"You do, Arthur," I hum truthfully.

"Me?" he scoffs.

"Yes, who else would mend your clothes and bring you new shirts. I've seen Merlin's attempt and it's appalling!" Arthur laughs, much louder than I expected and I smile at his sense of relaxation. There's nobody around, not even Merlin to judge him, to watch his every move. This quiet is letting him be himself.

"Alright, fine. I do need you here. Please don't leave again, I think I went into the council with a tear in my pants that he forgot to fix once," he exclaims, throwing his arms back up to the sky.

"Oh my," I giggle trying to imagine the look of Geoffrey's face at seeing a hole in the Prince's pants. I pretend to be in thought. "You know, I think I only fixed those pair yesterday," I hum.

Arthur sits up.

"You mean they weren't fixed!?" he exclaims. "But I've been wearing them."

The horror in his voice sends me over the edge and I can't help but laugh out loud, my hands resting on my stomach as my knees bend upwards towards me. As I tilt to one side, I'm sure I see the figure of a person walking away from the training field. A woman or possibly a man in a cloak.

"I'm kidding!" I shriek to calm him down. "I did fix them the other day but only because I noticed Merlin's sketchy attempt. The hole was closed over, but it was noticeable."

Arthur grumbles something about Merlin being useless and he leans back down on the ground.

I gaze up at the stars, their light illuminating the sky. I've always loved looking up at them but being from the city they were washed out in exchange for the nightlife. But I would trade all that to see them like this for the rest of my life.

It's quiet. Serene.

"I don't ever want to not be able to see this," I murmur, my voice having no need to be any stronger in the whispering breeze. "The stars," I add to clarify. "I should also say thank you."

"What for?" Arthur questions, just as quiet. I glance over at him subtly and see him gazing up at the stars just as I have been. I smile softly at the moment.

"Well to start, for coming out here in the middle of the night. I don't like dwelling on…things. It just makes it worse. But also, for when Castor and I went missing. Merlin told me that you stayed out looking for us the entire time."

Arthur turns his head, letting his cheek rest against the grass.

"It's what friends do, don't they? You've been there for me, especially recently and I should do the same for you," he replies. His tone remains even, as though trying to both sound sincere but remain some manliness. He purses his lips, scrutinising me. "Are you alright?"

You know when you hurt yourself, and you are absolutely fine – it didn't even hurt but as soon as somebody asks if you're ok it seems as though a simple cut turns into a stab wound. Well, that is what's happening right now. I try to hold it back, so hard, but my lip trembles and as soon as I divert my energy to stop my eyes from watering a soft cry jumps from my throat and then it all comes at once like a dam is being released. From a quiver of my lip to my eyes twisting shut and my throat constricting painfully.

"No," I whisper, shaking my head. I sit up, shoving my head into my hands to hide it from the world. My chest trembles as my breathing try to keep up with me. My bottom lip becomes trapped between my teeth and the cool air of the night becomes piercing against my neck.

I don't want to feel like this, but at the same time, it makes it all that real. I was hoping it was all a dream today, that I woke Arthur up because I had a nightmare but the hurt I physically feel in my heart is a harsh reminder that it was all too real. I cried to Castor in anger but now my eyes bleed to regret I feel. And the whole reason for it is sitting right next to me, oblivious to the fact yet I'm not angry at him in the slightest.

He shuffles closer, bringing his arms around my back and I fall onto his side, tucking my legs under myself. His body keeps the cool air off my neck, instead, covering it warmth. His hand runs the length on my arm.

I don't try to compose myself. I don't want to. Arthur doesn't say anything, nor make any move to suggest he wants to leave. I wouldn't blame him; his bed is probably a lot comfier than sitting on the grass in the middle of the night.

As the time passes, my mind and body begin to calm down and soon I'm just tiredly leaning against him, my right hand playing with the blades of grass, the other resting over my knee. My eyes sting against the air but I don't care about the pain.

I feel something brush against my leg, so I bend it to look. A small creature is creeping up along my leg. One with eight legs.

"Argh!"

I kick my legs out frantically, falling backwards and consequently knocking Arthur as I do.

"Get it off! Get it off!"

But the bugger just doesn't let go of my pant fabric. Finally, I resort to using my hands to help and I quickly flick my hand over the area, not wanting to feel it or have it climb onto my hand by any chance. It doesn't work the first time, so I slap my leg and I see it, even in the night, fly off my leg and land somewhere in the grass far away.

I glance over to Arthur to scold him for not helping but he's curled up on his side, facing away from me.

"Arthur?"

I crawl over to him, grabbing his shoulder to pull him over onto his back. His face is screwed tight in pain, accompanied but a low growl. I watch him confused until I see where his hands grip in pain and I can't help but laugh into the night, more so like a croaky howl.

"I'm so sorry," I manage to say between the laugh.

Arthur only opens his eyes to glare at me, still hunched inwards. As all I can do is wait, I kneel by him, patting his shoulder sympathetically. After a minute or so he finally gets the ability to sit back up, breathing heavily.

"I won't lie, that cheered me up a little," I offer with a half-smile.

"Glad to help," he growls.