A/N: HEADS UP, EXPLICIT CONTENT TAKES PLACE WITHIN THIS CHAPTER. I'LL PUT A WARNING WHEN IT STARTS AND WHEN IT ENDS. FEEL FREE TO SKIP AHEAD IF YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH READING THAT SORT OF THING :)
Xin woke the very next morning early. She blinked slowly out of her sleep, cheek pressed against Gaara's chest. A glance out the window told her the sun had yet to even rise. "Good, you're awake," Gaara's voice rumbled from beneath her. She smiled sleepy at the deep vibrations. "You drooled on me," he slightly shook her, rocking her completely out of her sleepy stupor.
Xin pushed herself up with a laugh, wiping at her mouth and chin. Instead of getting out of bed, she settled down on top of him, still smiling. "You should go back to sleep," she muttered into his shirt, taking the time to breathe in his natural scent.
Gaara's fingers stroked at her lower back. "I said I would go with you."
"You don't have to."
"I want to."
Xin chuckled softly for the second time but gave in. She would have preferred that Gaara get more rest but the argument was lost. He was just as stubborn as she was and she could tell by the tone of his voice that she wouldn't change his mind. It made her consider that whatever child born to them would be terribly stubborn thanks to them.
"You know, quiet mornings like this would be out of the question if we had children," she found herself saying before she could really think about it. Children of hers, their energy would be boundless. She was sure they'd come running into the bedroom to drag their tired parents out of bed no matter what time it was. Once upon, a thought like that would have made her cringe, would have made her uneasy.
It made her smile.
Gaara stretched and shifted until both arms were wrapped around Xin. "I don't see the bad in that," he muttered against her temple. He felt her fingers clench at his shirt, his words resonating with her. Simple but meaningful. He could see it too. Children with dark hair and light eyes with smiles like Xin rushing into their bedroom. A sleepy Xin telling them to either shut up or go back to bed. And he, the middleman, would offer to let the children into their bed with them if that meant a few more minutes of sleep. Little bodies clambering into their bed, bickering over who would get to cuddle Xin because they would love her as much as he did.
"Not bad at all," Xin agreed softly.
Gaara respectfully kept his distance as the Konoha trio surrounded Xin. It was still obnoxiously early with the sun barely breaching the horizon. They stood just outside of Suna's gates, Xin and Gaara having escorted the team. He watched in amusement as Naruto leaned over, trapping Xin in a bear hug. He lifted her clear off of her feet, strong arms easily supporting her weight. Her head fell back, a pretty laugh bubbling from her throat before throwing her arms around his neck. The joking subsided and Naruto's arms tightened around her. He pressed his face into her neck, speaking quietly into her skin. He dropped her back to her feet moments later, his usual grin stained by sadness.
Unlike Naruto, Sasuke did not grab Xin in a showy display. He reached up and pressed his hand to her head. Honestly it was probably the most affection Sasuke had ever shown Xin. It seemed just fine with her, her fingers wrapped around his wrist to squeeze with affection as well.
Hinata, she threw her arms around her and planted kisses all over her face. Her sister laughed, arms circling Xin's waist. Their goodbyes lasted several minutes longer but no one seemed to mind. It was bittersweet, Gaara realized. Two sisters finally on the same page, separated by their villages. It made him wonder. Xin repaired her relationships in Konoha and yet she still returned to Suna.
Gaara watched Xin watch the trio depart. She remained there until their forms vanished completely into the desert, eager to return to their village of leaves. She turned to him finally and he realized that tears were strolling down her cheeks almost lazily. He didn't say anything, somehow understanding. He guided her to his chest, hands rubbing at her back reassuringly. She was crying for the life that would never be. Because her last link to Konoha returned home. Because she didn't belong with them anymore.
Though she was happy and content in Suna, a piece of her would always regret that she couldn't be in Konoha with the people she grew up with. And likewise, he was happy she was in Suna but he would always mourn that loss for her too. He knew he would take care of her but there would always be a hole in her that couldn't be filled by anyone but her friends and family.
It was a while before she pulled away, hands rubbing hastily at her eyes. "I'm sorry. First I drool all over you and now I'm crying all over you. I'm fine."
"Are you?"
Her jaw twitched and her eyes filled with sadness. She turned those sad eyes on him, slowly shaking her head. "It's...I don't know, it's really setting in that I didn't belong in Konoha, with them. It's not that I'm not happy here because I am but…"
"I understand," Gaara murmured, pressing his lips against her forehead.
"Good, because I don't," Xin sniffled sadly. She was sure that she would never mourn for Konoha, that she would never care again for the village responsible for her destruction. She was positive that she would never miss it, she would never miss its inhabitants. But still, she felt herself getting choked up as the Konoha team vanished from her sight. "I'm happy here. Coming back to Suna was a no-brainer but I feel...I don't know. I feel conflicted. Maybe because I always wanted to belong but I never will," Xin rubbed at her face once more. "God, how is it possible to feel all this shit at once? It's so confusing."
Gaara chuckled, back of his fingers caressing her cheek. "That's how I felt before I realized I actually fell in love with you."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. You were frustrating, annoying and alluring all at once. I thought something was wrong with me because I was feeling too many things when it came to you. It was confusing."
Gaara smiled softly down at her, achieving his goal. Xin smiled genuinely, laughing at his words. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pitched forward on her toes. "I tend to have that impact on people," she laughed right before kissing him.
She tasted like sadness, he realized mutely. Sadness, happiness, yearning, relief, love. He could taste a plethora of different emotions and it nearly overwhelmed him. She tasted hot and cold, bitter and sweet, delighted and mournful. It was startlingly different from the taste of blood on her lips, of the insanity on her tongue but he liked it. He liked it more than he liked the taste of her suffering.
There was a pull in him, a greedy one that wanted to wrap her up and keep the world away from her. Gaara bent over her, fingers curling around her jaw to tilt her head back just right. He could feel her smile, still dipped in sadness, widen against his lips.
"Gaara," she managed against his lips. "Oi, Gaara, the gatekeepers." Her eyes were filled with mirth as he pulled back and glanced over his shoulder. High above them, the two gatekeepers stationed for the early morning shift were trying to appear innocent. He felt his face twitch in annoyance but Xin leaned against him, using him as leverage as she waved to the two gatekeepers. "Good morning!" she called while waving at them. Even without her Byakugan, she could see they were blushing. "You know, if you kissed me more in public, they wouldn't be so surprised to see it."
Just like that, her sadness receded, hidden away again for the time being. The gatekeepers waved back, making him snort because they almost seemed shy in doing so. Or maybe they were just scared because they caught their scary ass Kazekage kissing his surprisingly scary ass wife.
"I don't kiss you enough?"
Xin looped her arm through his, allowing him to guide her back into Suna. "Nope," she popped her lips. "Not nearly enough and definitely not in public."
Gaara huffed out a laugh. They shared a quiet conversation while trekking through the still slumbering village. Xin still had yet to be cleared to return to the Hospital so she decided to do some research. Gaara was fine with leaving her in his office, having to attend an early morning meeting regarding Mai and Yoshi. He was surprised when he returned and she was still there. She was sitting on the floor, surrounded by books. Her hair was piled up haphazardly on her head, several pens sticking out of it, seemingly holding her hair to its chaotic perch. She was mumbling to herself, frowning when she realized she misplaced her pen.
"Where the hell…" she mumbled.
Baki and Kankuro, having accompanied Gaara from the meeting, glanced at one another. "Is she...okay?" Kankuro asked slowly.
"She's researching," Gaara shrugged distractedly. He passed Xin, patting her on the head as he went. She waved at his hand, also distracted, and continued to search for her pen.
Kankuro edged closer, eyes darting across the opened books. "Those look like records detailing Suna's budgeting. Is she allowed to look at those?" he asked cautiously, stepping around her. He plucked one of the pens from her hair, holding it up to her face. Her eyes brightened the same time her hair fell from its perch, blue locks spilling down her back. A curse rolled from her lips the minute she realized her hair was freed. The other pens clattered to the floor behind her in a comedic fashion, causing Kankuro to stifle a snort. He sat down behind her, grabbing at her hair and effortlessly began weaving it together into a braid down her back.
Baki watched, an eyebrow quirked. Gaara offered a quick glance, shrugging. "He's a puppeteer, he's good with his hands." He sat down with a sigh, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's fine if she looks at it, she has a project."
"Project? What kind of project?" Kankuro asked, eyes focused on her hair. Baki also came over, glancing at the opened books.
"For her mental health clinic, I presume?" Baki asked.
"That would be the one," Gaara nodded.
"Mental health clinic? Xin, you want to open a clinic?"
"Yeah?" Xin finally glanced up, turning an eye on him. "You know you could benefit from a mental health facility yourself."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
Kankuro glared at her but motioned for her to turn around, he was only halfway done with her braid. "Why do the three of you look so miserable? How was the meeting?"
"The council immediately turned on Mai and voted to have her removed from the council."
Xin snorted, "Ironic. And?"
"We can't just remove her from the council and trust her not to leak Suna's secrets in retaliation."
"You think she would?"
"You tell me, how often has she tried to screw you over and make you look bad?"
Xin made a face, conceding to Baki's point. "So you're not sure what to do with her," she shook her head, not the least bit surprised. The room was silent for a solid five minutes before Xin slowly raised her hand. Gaara and Baki looked at her. "I may have a solution. A...questionable solution but…"
"Xin, we are not yanking the woman's tongue from her head."
"I said questionable, not fucked up."
Gaara sighed heavily, "what's your solution?"
She put down her notebook and pen, folding her hands innocently in her lap. "Well, you see, there was this one Shinobi we had back in Konoha. Danzo. He wanted to form a subdivision of ANBU called Root. They did some pretty fucked up things to the members to destroy their emotions. He never got the okay to start Root up so he did so in secret. They wanted to recruit me at some point but my personality was too combative.
Anyway, the leader, he was pretty screwed in the head and had this one sealing technique he placed on every single member to keep them from revealing damning information. I may have...learned the technique...possibly."
Again, the office was silent as they stared at her. Xin avoided having to look at them, twirling her pen almost innocently. Baki squinted at her, mouth pressed in a firm line. "You know Juinjutsu?" he asked slowly.
Xin scoffed and stopped twirling her pen, looking up at him. "What? Like it's that hard?
"To be fair," Gaara sighed. "Her family has a known Juinjutsu."
She rolled her eyes, "Oh, come on."
Kankuro blinked in thought. "Wait, so this Danzo guy, he just let you learn this technique?"
"Oh, he's dead," Xin waved the question off. "He was..uh...well...he would take the remains of an Uchiha and steal one of their eyes to implant them into his arm and into one of his eye sockets. I believe he tried to take Sasuke's eye and well…" she blew a raspberry.
"So will there ever be a story that's...I don't know, normal?"
"Shut up Kankuro."
Gaara rubbed at his temples, silently wondering the same thing. "Where do you come in in this story? How were you able to get your hands on that technique?"
Another innocent smile. "Well. I may have been assigned to...take out the platoon. They were so brainwashed that even with Danzo dead, there was no hope to recover and they couldn't be trusted so…" she blew another raspberry. "Except for Sai. He was allowed to live but once Danzo died, the seal was null and void."
"Sai? He was at the wedding, Ino's date?" Gaara looked thoughtful.
"Right."
"Why was he allowed to live?"
Xin paused, blinking. "Huh. I don't know why actually. Probably has something to do with Team 7 but I never thought to ask. Sai is kind of...odd, probably stemming from Root."
"Well, he's Konoha bred."
"Ah, there's that sense of humor of yours, Baki. Thought you lost it while I was gone but there it is."
Gaara was sure Baki almost smiled at that moment. That was fuckin' wild, he found himself thinking. But then again, leave it to Xin to actually achieve something damn near impossible by just being herself.
"Anyway, like I said, it's morally questionable but you wouldn't have to kill her or worry about her using her knowledge against Suna. Place the seal on her and exile her or something, I don't know." Xin shrugged as Kankuro finished her long braid. She thanked him before immediately leaning over, seemingly done with the conversation in favor of her research.
Kankuro shifted closer, sitting next to her to watch as she scribbled numbers down, quietly mumbling while adding them up. Kankuro watched in amusement, having never really watched Xin manually work. He'd only ever seen her knocking someone's shit loose or performing medical ninjutsu. Even when visiting her at the hospital, she'd stop working to see him, even if he wasn't in need of medical attention.
She was cute, Kankuro realized in amusement. She'd always been attractive but he never realized just how cute she could be. Maybe because she was crazy but that's besides the point, Kankuro amended. Not cute in a way that made him want to kiss her, that was almost gross. She was cute in a platonic way, a way that amused him when she scrunched her nose up or huffed quietly.
She looked...normal.
It was strange to think of her as a normal nineteen year old. It was strange to think of any of them as being normal Shinobi. It made him think of their conversation last night, still somewhat embarrassed that he'd been called out on his shit. He'd been having a hard time for months, struggling with his hand in Xin's downfall.
It wasn't like Temari and Gaara hadn't noticed, they had. They tried to sway him from his destructive behavior and they always helped him back to bed or with his hangover the morning after but they never really discussed his new habits. But to be fair, he didn't want to discuss them. He wasn't really sure how to in the first place. They didn't grow up in an environment that allowed them to share those raw feelings. Those weak feelings. They were Suna Shinobi, Rasa's children. They weren't weak nor did they have time for it.
So when Xin came storming in his room to pick at him until he confessed his weakness, it was...odd. He just wasn't used to the concern unless he was hurt. He thought she would let up and leave him be if he denied something was wrong but the damn woman bullied the truth out of him. And it was just all so...weird. Xin was probably worse off in the emotions department due to her strict upbringing but she was still going to make an honest effort with being better. It was touching that she wanted to help not only them but others as well, especially after living so selfishly for so long.
It was admirable, Kankuro decided. Xin was a good person down to the core, she'd always been. There was no doubt that she was misguided but she was a good person and he almost felt guilty that he hadn't seen that at first. Even from the start, even when she resented them, she still did for others. He wished her family could've seen that. He wished they could've seen it from the jump.
He glanced at Gaara and wasn't all that surprised to see him watching Xin as well. There was a fondness in his eyes, something soft and for a split second, he wanted to make fun of him for it. Gaara was soft for his wife, his insides were all gooey for her and he was pretty sure that he would give anything to make her happy. Something told him her mental health facility would be built if he had anything to say about it and fortunately for her, he did.
Kankuro stamped down the urge to tease Gaara, smiling secretly instead. He wouldn't ruin the moment and besides, if he teased Gaara about his affections, he'd probably be more closed off about them in the future. There was nothing wrong with being fond of your significant other and Kankuro was glad that Gaara even had a legitimate relationship anyway.
He was suddenly grateful for the harebrained scheme of an arranged marriage.
Xin cooed cheerfully into Ume's black fur, smiling all the while. She was alarmed that she couldn't initially find the black kitten when she first returned but was reassured that Ume would eventually pop up after a while. Jura and Asuna watched, smiling as Xin insisted on talking to the cat in a baby voice.
"Sensei, are you paying attention?" Ukyo called from several feet away, waving her arm in a bid to gain Xin's attention once more.
"Yes, yes, I'm paying attention!" Xin insisted, hugging Ume to her chest. The cat had been surly in Xin's absence, staying away from nearly everyone except for Gaara. Now that she was back, the cat's spirits seemed to have been significantly lifted. It was almost amusing how similar Ume was to Xin, down to her fondness for Gaara.
Besides her odd cat, Ukyo seemed to truly heal without Xin's presence, causing her to realize that Xin was the roadblock to her progress. Kankuro was right, she would have never healed otherwise if Xin kept allowing her to cling to her. She used Xin as a security blanket. It hurt, she mutely thought but was glad for it, and was glad that Ukyo managed to pick herself up. For a long time, Xin was convinced that Ukyo would retire. She was a promising kunoichi but Xin would have no right to stand in the way of her choice in the long run. Still, a small part of her wondered if being a kunoichi was really what Ukyo wanted to do for the rest of her life.
"Any updates on Mai and Yoshiko?" Jura asked after a quiet moment of watching Ukyo and Hideko spar. Hideki was physically stronger but Ukyo was quicker on her feet and he seemed to be struggling in trying to keep up with her. Xin pursed her lips at the mention of the councilwoman and her dumb granddaughter. She was still very much annoyed with not only the duo but the council as a whole. It didn't take a genius to figure out why Yoshiko was even placed in Gaara's path in the first place. Now for all of their meddling, Yoshiko was injured and for what?
"Well, they want Mai off the council. You know politicians, they can't wait to get a leg up on the other. They threw her to the wolves with no hesitation, confessing all of her schemes and what not. Gaara has no choice but to dismiss her."
"And Yoshiko?" Asuna raised a blonde brow.
"I'm not sorry."
"Oh, but Xin…"
Xin ignored the older blonde, shrugging almost childishly. "I warned her that I wasn't the one to fuck with. I had therapy, yes, but I still won't tolerate bullshit. I'm still a kunoichi," Xin said in a tone that left no room for argument. "She shouldn't be playing games with Shinobi."
This time it was Asuna who pursed her lips. Momoka wriggled in her grasp, big eyes focused on Xin. It would seem the youngest Mikawa missed Xin just as much and often wanted her attention. Asuna looked down at her, huffing as she did so. "You know, I'm your mother."
Still, she switched with Xin, handing Momoka over to her in exchange for Ume. The Hyuga smiled, cradling Momoka to her. "Hello Mocha-bean," she greeted cheerfully despite her soured mood. Hatsune wasn't fond of the nickname but nothing she said could get Xin to drop it. Momoka shifted around, standing on shaky legs. Xin cooed at her, impressed that she was standing. Momoka reached forward, pressing her chubby hands to Xin's face. She continued to search Xin's face with her hands, big eyes full of wonderment. Xin continued to hold her up, smiling despite Momoka's intrusive handling.
"Anyway, the council still wants him to have an assistant so I suppose they'll start interviewing candidates soon. Personally, I don't think he needs one but…."
"He doesn't need a young one, you mean," Jura grinned salaciously.
"Don't think I can't hurt you while holding a baby."
"Please, no violence until she's at least academy-age," Asuna sighed, watching as Ukyo blocked one of Hideki's hits with her tonfa. Despite having retired, the older blonde participated in many spars against Ukyo over the last few months. She was impressed with her handling of the tonfa, complimenting Xin and Tenten's advice to learn its ways. "Can't Temari just be his assistant? It worked before Yoshiko came into the picture."
"Yes, well," Xin's face was sour, like she'd been sucking on a lemon. "It's a very stressful job that Temari has never really trained for," she explained shortly, puckering her lips when Momoka tried to force her fingers into her mouth. "We don't shove our hands into people's mouths, Bean," she chided thoughtlessly. "Besides, Temari is Suna's top kunoichi, she's too busy with her missions to fully dedicate herself to being Gaara's assistant."
"That makes sense," Jura nodded as Hideki knocked one of Ukyo's tonfa to the side. He nearly cheered, proud that his brother worked out that he needed to get Ukyo's weapons away from her. She was average with Taijutsu but she was talented with her weaponry. It would be a real problem if she started to use medical ninjutsu on him though. That's where Ukyo shined.
"Oh..well..I could do it?" Asuna prompted, smiling almost hopefully. She watched in amusement as Jura and Xin both stilled before turning at the same time to look at her. Momoka, realizing that something else held their attention, turned her head as well to look. She smiled brightly when her eyes landed on her own mother, a bubbly laugh erupted from her for no reason.
"...You?" Xin and Jura echoed together.
Asuna hunched in on herself, realizing that she might have made a mistake in nominating herself. Really, it sounded like a good idea in her head. She wasn't sure why Yoshiko made it seem harder than it really was but assisting the Kazekage couldn't be all that difficult. Especially, if things went accordingly, in a time of peace.
"I...well, why?" Xin blinked, narrowly having Momoka shove a finger in her eye. "Oi, oi, I know my eyes are a little weird but there's no need to attempt to blind me. I'd be a pretty useless Hyuga without the use of my eyes, kiddo."
"Because Kazekage-sama needs someone he can trust? I would never do what Yoshiko did and I'm not...obsessively in love with him. I respect both him and you. I'm good at organization and…" the blond trailed off, not sure if sharing her next thought was wise. "I love Momoka, she's my daughter, the best thing that's happened to me. But sometimes I feel as if….I was too hasty in retiring. I'm still young, you know? All I do is putter around my family's home with Momoka, Sune' and Hideki. I feel..."
"Bored?" Xin supplied with raised eyebrows. Asuna nodded quietly. "Ah, well, I like you so I wouldn't have an issue with it, of course, it's not up to me to decide. I'm not sure how one would get the job in assisting a Kage. Shizune kind of just..came with Tsunade when she took office and we never questioned it. I mean, the woman could knock Satan's head off so why would we question her.."
"Susu, what about Momoka? If you're assisting Kazekage-sama all day, who'll look after her? I'm sure none of us would mind but we're all Shinobi on active duty as well," Jura pointed out, looking somewhat conflicted. It's not that he had a problem with Asuna assisting, he just worried for Momoka.
Asuna focused on Ume, scratching the cat behind her ears. "Well, Genji and I have been talking…"
Xin snorted, "I forgot he was even alive."
Jura elbowed her.
Asuna continued talking, seemingly ignoring Xin's statement. "He still wants to be a part of Momoka's life. At first I wasn't sure if it was a good idea but…"
"Have you talked to him about this?" Jura asked. He didn't want his sister to get her hopes up only to have them dashed because of her useless husband.
"I have. He doesn't want to return to Kiri but he doesn't do much here. I thought that maybe he could watch Momoka until I finish the day."
"Kazekage-sama sometimes works late into the evening, are you sure about this?"
"I'm pretty sure Gaara wouldn't keep her any later than necessary. Hell, he'd probably send her home and still stay behind to finish things up." Xin shifted Momoka around until she was cradling her. She began rocking her in an almost thoughtless motion, eyes still focused on the sparring match. Although she tried to fight the impending sleeping spell, Momoka was gradually rocked to sleep. "Is Genji okay with being a glorified babysitter?"
"He's her father," Asuna pointed out with a sniff. "He was the one who suggested it when I mentioned what's been going on. I doubt I can ever forgive him for what he's done but I can't make the choice to keep Momo from him. That can only be her choice. He's not a danger to anyone—"
"Thanks to Xin traumatizing the shit out of him."
Xin rolled her eyes but chose not to comment. She couldn't remember what she'd done to Genji to cause trauma but decided not to tell them. It was bad enough that she traumatized him in the first place. Still, it was her turn to elbow Jura for good measure. "I can pass the notion on to Gaara and the council," Xin offered instead, smiling pleasantly. She began laughing a moment later when Ukyo bashed the blunt end of her tonfa into Hideki's face. "Oi, kids! I think that's enough," she called out through her laughter as Hideki fell backwards. He held his face in agony.
"I think she broke his nose," Jura cringed.
"Not again," Asuna sighed.
Xin continued to laugh.
"Asuna wants to do it?" Temari was just as surprised as Jura and Xin when she heard of the suggestion. "I wasn't expecting that."
"Apparently," Xin shrugged as Kankuro ambled into the kitchen. He immediately joined her at the stove, leaning over to see what she was cooking for dinner. Temari secretly grinned as a warm feeling washed over her at the sight of the two. It was obvious that Kankuro truly missed Xin while she was gone. He'd probably never admit to it but the woman was one of his best friends and he'd been down without her around. It was cute.
"What are you cooking?" Kankuro dramatically inhaled the aroma of the food. "How about sushi one of these days?" His grin was wide despite Xin elbowing him away, mumbling that he never cooked but always had a suggestion.
"She said Genji was all for it too so I told her I would talk to Gaara about it," Xin physically shooed Kankuro away from the stove. "I think it's a good idea and I wouldn't have to worry about her pissing me off. Although I'm pretty sure the council is divided about what to do with Mai."
Temari pursed her lips and shook her head. "Your method is a little...questionable but I think it's better than sentencing Mai to death," Temari said just as Xin finished up. "I don't think Gaara will be joining us for dinner tonight for dinner," she said while setting the table. She silently ignored Xin's pout.
"It would be easier to just kill her and be done with it but you know…." Xin sighed and rolled her eyes. "Era of peace and what not," she waved her hand in a casual circle. "Gaara seemed pretty torn about it but I'm pretty sure they'll go with my suggestion."
"The seal is connected to you, right?" Kankuro asked as they all sat down together.
"Yeah, I have the ability to release the seal if I wanted to. If I die the seal would also vanish too. I'm pretty sure those old bags are just torn up about the seal being connected to me and not them," Xin waved her chopsticks around with an exasperated face. "Can't please them all."
"Right and what about Yoshiko?"
"Who cares?"
Temari snorted. "Stop being like that Xin, and take this seriously."
"To be fair, she did kick Yoshi's ass hard enough to scar her for life. There's probably no need to do anything else with that girl," Kankuro pointed out with a shrug. "I wouldn't be surprised if she moved to another village just to get away."
"I warned her," Xin shrugged apathetically. "I don't know why everyone's always shocked. My threats usually aren't baseless."
"I think deep down, we all just hope they are," Kankuro shrugged.
Xin rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I don't know what Yoshiko knows so I honestly can't say what will be done with her. Your guess is as good as mine."
"It hasn't even been a month since you've been back and you've already managed to shake things up. That's got to be a talent," Temari pointed out wryly. Though, if she was being honest, she was glad Xin was back. Everything felt right again. The last few months without her felt like a warped reality. It was still so hard to believe that they'd gotten so far in life without Xin around before the marriage.
"Just like when she came here the first time," Kankuro grinned. "Shook everything up and traumatized us all."
Xin laughed but she did look apologetic. "I'm sorry for how I acted when we first met. I was...well, I was angry and I know I didn't make anything better. I'm sorry." She was smiling at them, shoulders hunched. Temari and Kankuro glanced at one another, blinking for several long seconds before turning back to Xin. It was almost...wrong for her to apologize. Of course Xin hadn't made things easy for anyone, she was downright miserable to deal with.
But she had the right, didn't she? Maybe her life hadn't been ideal in Konoha but it was hers. Hers to as she pleased, to live the way she wanted. She'd given it all up, to marry a stranger, tasked with the complicated mission of humanizing him to his own people. The minute she stepped foot in Suna, her own way of life had been thrown out of whack. All she'd known had been stripped away from her. She was given a blank slate and told to make the best out of things. Hell, they even lied to her about her real use to them.
So yes, she'd been difficult to deal with. She'd been horrible, cruel and downright evil to them.
Temari leaned against the table, a soft frown at her mouth. "Don't apologize, Xin. We had...messed up beginnings and we're all at fault for our relationship at the start." She thought about how it was like pulling teeth for Xin to be upfront about her feelings.
Kankuro shifted closer to Xin, hand cupping the back of her head affectionately. "You're a good woman, Xin, always have been. Faults and flaws aside, you're good. I'm glad you're home."
Xin blinked quickly, like maybe she was blinking unshed tears away. If either sibling took notice of her glassy eyes and watery smile, they didn't comment on it.
She felt silly.
It was late, nearly midnight and she was standing outside the Kage's tower. She'd been seconds away from going to bed when Temari made the offhand comment that Gaara was probably hungry and hadn't eaten. She could remember late night visits to his office, scolding him for not eating. It all seemed natural but now she felt as if she was intruding. A small part of her whispered that she didn't belong in Suna anymore, that she had no right to go stomping into his office at damn there midnight to feed him.
Xin shook her thoughts away, having grown tired of them. She was never this damn insecure in her life. Even when she was trying to prove herself to her parents, she never doubted her skills. She knew she was a great kunoichi. Even if her efforts seemed fruitless as hell, she was good at what she did. Now here she was, insecure about her husband, her marriage, her figure. God, why the fuck was she even married? Who the hell looked at her and decided that she, with all her fucked ass issues, was marriage material?
Gaara would call her ridiculous, tell her that she was overthinking. Again. That's all she ever did these days. Overthink until she gave herself a panic attack. He was right to call her ridiculous, she felt ridiculous. Xin sighed and rolled her shoulders, trying to relax. Gaara had enough going on now, he didn't need to distract himself by worrying about her and frivolous feelings. Her thoughts continued to whirl as she climbed the stairs. She tried in vain to think of anything else but her thoughts continued to wander towards her insecurities.
She knocked softly, frowning at the disgruntled voice hidden behind the door. When she stepped into the office, Gaara hadn't bothered to look up, focused intently on some form or another. "You missed dinner," she said by way of greeting, watching as he looked up. She smiled softly once he realized that it was her, seemingly perking up. She approached him, stopping at the corner of the desk to hold up the packed dinner.
"Time got away from me," Gaara replied easily, hand reaching for the food. She was caught off guard when he grabbed her wrist, tugging her towards him. "What's the matter?"
Xin blinked, having made sure to school her features into her usual expression. She tried to smile reassuringly at him, head tilting to the side in innocence. "Nothing's the matter. Well. You not eating is the matter but there's nothing wrong with me. Don't you want dinner?"
"Stop deflecting, I know you. Something is wrong and you're making yourself sick about it. Tell me what's wrong."
"I told you, nothing—"
"Don't lie to me."
Xin stopped short, eyes darting away to avoid having to look at him. Her face turned red, although she wasn't sure if she was blushing out of frustration or because his tone of voice did something to her. "I..just...is this okay?" she motioned between the two of them. "Coming here, like this? Out of the blue?"
"It's not out of the blue. You always came to give me dinner or lunch."
"That was before."
"Before what?"
"Before…" she waved to her head.
"Are you feeling insecure?"
Xin pursed her lips, a stubborn set to her jaw. It sounded ridiculous, she sounded ridiculous. Gaara had to be getting tired of her shit, of reassuring her that everything was fine. But how could she believe that? She'd done everything wrong since meeting him. How could he not be fed the hell up? She was fed the hell up her damn self. "I'm trying. I'm trying to be okay." she said after a long pause. There was a tickling at the back of her throat, itching at her eyes. Her frustration with herself was evident in the curves of her features, the set of her shoulders and overall her entire stance.
Gaara took a deep breath. There wasn't much he could say to her that would put her at ease. Xin's sadistic ways had been intertwined with her normal way of living. Now that she was leaving that sadism behind, she wasn't sure where to stand in life. She wasn't sure what was fine and what wasn't. "Keep pushing yourself and you'll have another breakdown," Gaara pointed out, tugging harder on her wrist. "You've recovered your memories but you haven't fully healed. Stop forcing yourself and let it happen naturally."
Xin frowned but relaxed until she sank to his lap. "That was a bit harsh," she pouted while folding her arms across her chest. She felt the heat from his hand pressing into her back but did nothing to stop him. She smiled softly, pressing her smiling mouth against his cheek affectionately. "You know," she spoke against his skin. "Asuna nominated herself to take Yoshiko's place. I think I'm supposed to convince you that it's a good idea." Xin mouthed along his skin, lips pausing at his jaw. She felt his hand at her back drop down to her hip. His fingers pulled, roughly grabbing at her hip.
She could feel the curve of his mouth pulling into a mischievous smirk. "Then convince me."
Xin pulled back from him, watching him with a pensive look about her. His eyes were dark and cloudy and it made her feel...flushed. That was a good word to use. She felt flushed, like her face was hot. Her mouth pulled into a pout. She'd have to be blind and daft to miss the meaning in his words and gestures. To miss the hints in his gaze. There were several times she'd caught him staring at her over the last couple of days. Hell, she didn't have to catch him doing anything, Gaara was blatant. But he kept a respectable distance, never going further than what she was comfortable with. He backed off each time he felt her stiffen up on him.
But oh, how she missed him. She missed the familiarity, the comfort and the warmth. Yet, every time she entertained the idea of actually seeking him out, she became nervous. Nervous that they would slip up and her body would reject another pregnancy. Nervous that her added weight would not be appealing. Nervous that she couldn't remember what he liked and what he didn't like.
She twisted, straddling his lap and sat on her folded legs. Her arms coiled around his neck as she settled against him, mouth pulling back into a soft smile. "Convince you?" she repeated in mock, eyes closing while pressing her mouth to his. She steeled her waning nerves and let out a satisfied sigh when he kissed her back. Gaara's hands returned to her back, dipping underneath her tank top. Behind her, sand began creeping up the legs of the desk. The sand coiled around the various items stationed on the desktop, pulling them away to safety. The last thing he needed was Xin having a fit if he messily swiped everything to the floor in a bid to get her under him.
His fingers peeled at the edge of her tank top, yanking it off and tossing it aside without a second thought. His blood was humming in his veins, body mapping out all the familiar curves of Xin. The scars. The dips, lines and softness. The roundness of her breasts. Xin pressed so closely to him that he could literally feel every scar dotting at her skin, the press of her breasts against his chest. She was still smiling when she pulled back, lashes fluttering thoughtfully. There wasn't anything to smile about when she slid back off of his lap, staring down at him with innocent mirth in her eyes.
Gaara's eyes narrowed at her, "Xin."
She rocked backwards on her heels, hands held behind her back. "My legs were beginning to fall asleep," she mused with tilted lips. She took a step back, dodging Gaara's hand for her. Her thumbs caught the loops of her shorts as she took another step back towards the edge of his desk. Gaara stood up with such urgency that she nearly toppled backwards. She tilted her head backwards, eyes darkening. Her mouth fell open for a split second before her teeth dug into her bottom lip, fleshy appendage blooming a bright red.
His eyes focused on her bottom lip, watching with rapt fascination as her teeth released her pouting mouth. Her shorts hung low on her hips but she didn't bother to fix it, far too amused with teasing him. She was ashamed about the involuntary squeak that resounded somewhere from her throat when Gaara grabbed at her hips. He lifted and easily deposited her on the desk, uncaring by her disgruntled expression. He wasn't sure how to tell her that her wide eyed look was just as alluring.
He's got it bad.
(((EXPLICIT CONTENT STARTS HERE.)))
Xin's legs parted easily for him, humming when his familiar weight pressed against her. She leaned back on her hands, head falling back on her shoulders at the touch of his lips against her neck. It's been too long, he realized mutely. Too long and he's greedy, desperate. His kisses become harder at her throat, tongue and teeth working her skin to a rosy hue. Soft sighs and hums fill the quiet office.
He could feel her arms settle against his shoulders, fingers twisting together behind his head. Red marks form a trail from her jaw down to her breasts, teeth marks abundantly clear against her pale skin. There's a smile at her mouth, alluringly lazy this time around. "I've missed you," she leaned back into him, legs widening. Her lips are pretty a red, only barely brushing against his own mouth. "You belong with me," she continued to whisper, tongue darting out to swipe his bottom lip to his top.
He could feel her fingers curl into the collar of his jacket, effortlessly popping the buttons with a simple tug. Again, her fingers curled into the net-armored shirt underneath, nails catching against the material. She's toying with him, riling him up for reasons unknown to him. Maybe she's still nervous, maybe she's trying to work up the courage. Gaara wasn't sure but he didn't care.
Xin's kisses aren't as bruising as his, nowhere near as rough. They're slow going and soft, thoughtful even. He can't remember the last time their kiss hadn't turned almost violent. Maybe in the beginning, when they'd been tiptoeing around their shared attraction. But Gaara appreciated the softness of the kisses, the vulnerability. He enjoyed it, even. It was different. It's relaxed, lazy almost.
When he pulled back from her, he could practically see the nervous energy bouncing off of her. His hands brush at her exposed skin, skirting over her shoulders, breasts and stomach. Anything to soothe her.
"Xin..we don't—"
"No, I want to, I do." Her fingers curled around his wrist, keeping his hand pressed to her hip. "Could you just…" she trailed off, face contorted with an uncertain emotion. She wriggled her hips, sliding her shorts down effortlessly and leaving herself nearly bare, her face unsure. But Gaara kisses the uncertainty away, hand sliding distractedly down her stomach. He pulled teasingly at the strap of her panties, snapping the fabric against her hip. Before she could pull back and scold him for it, his hand slipped under the thin fabric and a finger easily slid past soft folds into her.
Xin's mouth failed her, stalling against him at the invasion. But then her hips twitch, involuntarily rocking against his hand. She could barely concentrate on kissing him, the pleasure from his hand and mouth deeply distracting her. Another finger slid inside, pumping digits finding a steady rhythm to unhinge her. He caught her jaw in an unrelenting grip when she tried to pull away.
Her hands scrambled, nails digging into his arms to ground herself. Her mind was whirling, trying to figure out if she should focus on his mouth or his fingers. She could feel her face burning, thighs almost sliding close to trap his hand in between them. There was a tightening in her lower stomach, causing her to curl her fingers even tighter and nearly shredding his top from his chest.
Gaara abruptly pulled completely away from her. Xin's eyes popped open immediately, a low keening noise resonating from her. The tight feeling began to shrink away along with the absence of his fingers. Her bruised mouth fell open only to turn into a pout. "Wait, you can't—" she came to a pause, eyebrows knitting together. That nervousness returned nearly immediately. She wasn't sure if she'd done something wrong to turn him off suddenly. She felt ridiculous sitting there without any clothes on and scars on complete display.
"Relax, Xin," Gaara's chuckling caused her to blush for the umptenth time that night. He shoved her backwards, laying her flat against the desktop. She pressed her hands to her eyes, laughing softly as he dropped kisses against her breasts. His kisses began mapping a trail from her breasts down to her stomach, causing more laughter to bubble from her throat.
His mouth lingered around her hips, teeth nipping at her skin. She almost didn't take notice of Gaara tearing her panties to shreds. Her eyes popped open immediately and her hands fell away from her face. She began to sit up on her elbows. "Did you just—"
He didn't give her the chance to curse him out for ruining her clothing, shrugging her legs over his shoulders almost casually. He pressed his mouth between her thighs, tonguing her slit from top to bottom slowly.
She felt the sharp nip at her clit, mouth falling open but words failing her. He continued his slow torture on her, sucking at her clit lewdly. That earlier feeling in her lower belly stirred once more. Her fingers twitched, unsure of what to do with them. A moan, slow and drawn out, bubbled from her lips the longer he spent laving his tongue against her.
"Gaara," Xin struggled to form an actual sentence, voice melting into another long moan. She pumped her hips against his face, focused slowly on that feeling building up. She whimpered and twisted her hips, muscles in her abdomen starting to burn from all of her movement. Xin reached down and tangled her fingers in Gaara's wild locks, trying to find some ground.
That tightness in her stomach began to climb to an unbearable level. She closed her eyes hard, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. She was almost to the point of begging him to just stop. It was almost too much, too overwhelming and she feared she'd have to tap out early. Xin twisted and locked her knees behind Gaara's head. If she were in the right state of mind, she'd be concerned that she was going to suffocate him between her thighs. What a way to go, she might have mused.
The tightness exploded at that moment, catching her completely off guard. Xin came hard with a low gasp that tapered into a long keening. Her back arched, mouth trembling and eyes slammed shut. Gaara stood above her, rubbing at her shaking thighs and hips while her orgasm worked through her body. She finally began to relax, slumping against the surface of the desk with a soft whimper. Her eyes remained close but she felt him lean over her and so she reached up to press her palms to his chest.
She blinked out of her stupor, puckering her lips in thought. "I don't remember if you were ever that good with your mouth before," she finally said. She was mostly sure it was due to the fact that she'd hadn't done anything sexual in nearly a year.
"Are you accusing me of practicing on another woman?" Gaara snorted while cupping her face. She chuckled at that, curling her fingers in his shirt once more. He leaned over and kissed her, ignoring her grunt when she inevitably tasted herself on his tongue.
Just when Xin began to sit up and push against him, she was shoved back to the desktop. She let out a confused grunt when her legs were pressed lewdly against her breasts. Gaara loomed over her, a dark and predatory gleam in his eyes. "Wait," she whined. "Can we at least—"
Her words sizzled into another moan, head falling back as he slid inside of her. All at once she felt full, stuffed to the brim and threatening to overflow because of his girth. She wriggled her hips, almost like she was trying to get away. Gaara dug his nails into the soft flesh of her thighs, causing her to still beneath him. "Be good for me," he grinned savely while his hips began a steady pump against her. With each thrust, pleasure steadily began to build up until she could barely think straight. Her legs shook against her chest from her strained position, finally falling to rest languidly at his hips. Gaara grabbed at them and settled them around his waist, her skin pressing warmly against him.
Despite the building ache somewhere near her lower belly, Xin gradually began to work her hips against his. Her voice climbed higher and higher with each thrust, whimpering and whining with each passing second. His hands were moving, she mutely realized. One gripped at her hip, thumb rubbing at the dip while the other stoked a trail up her stomach. His fingers tweaked at a nipple before coming up to rest at her throat. His fingers coiled around her throat, holding her down to the desk as his pace quickened.
Xin tightened her legs around his waist, hands coiling around his wrist. She didn't try to break the grip around her throat, instead relishing in the heat pressing against her skin. "Please," she finally managed to speak, wantonally begging. "I—oh, please, please.."
Gaara leaned over, savage grin still in place and gripped harder at her neck. He would have been concerned that he might hurt her had it not been for the delirious grin decorating her face. "That's it," he muttered into her ear. "Just like that, good girl." With each praise falling from his mouth, she felt her muscles tighten around him. He nipped and bit at her ear, causing her to shudder. "Good girl, so good for me. So wet, so good."
Xin closed her eyes tightly, tears threatening to squeeze from under her lids. She couldn't take it anymore, it was all too much. The pleasure, the grip he had on her throat, the nasty praises falling from his mouth. It was becoming too much and she could feel the pleasure beginning to tighten unbearably. Just when it was about to snap like she'd been hoping, Gaara came to a hard pause. Xin's eyes popped open almost immediately, a long wail releasing from her. "Gaara," she groaned from under him. Without any warning, she was rolled over on her stomach. She let out a surprised squawk, hair falling wildly around her face.
Gaara dragged her back until her feet were planted on the floor, spreading her legs and slipping back inside of her with ease. Xin pressed her forehead to the desk, gasping loudly as she was stretched to her limits for the second time. Like nothing had changed, he began pumping against her body once more, setting a punishing rhythm that had her seeing stars every time she opened her eyes. The blunette scrambled underneath him, fingers curling around the edge of the desk in hopes of grounding her. It didn't work but she tried nonetheless.
She chewed at her lip until it nearly bled, pleasure overwhelming her again. "Fuck," she gasped breathlessly, nails digging into the wood of the desk. She was utterly wrecked and couldn't concentrate on anything as he ruthlessly fucked her. The desk shuddered and scraped against the floor in protest but it fell to deaf ears, drowned out by Xin's addictive moans. Gaara's own grunts mixed in with her moans with each thrust just as began tightening unforgivably around him.
"I...un...I—Gaara—ah," Xin stuttered thoughtlessly, trying her best to form at least one sentence.
He gripped hard at her hips, knowing there'd be bruises in the morning. He couldn't care at the moment despite knowing he was going to hate the sight of her bruised skin later on. She keened from under him, throwing her head back. He watched entranced as her hair stuck to her back, mesmerized by the undulating rhythm of her hips moving back against him.
"Fuck," Gaara cursed, deep voice blending in with her high keening whines. "Good girl," he repeated, eyes falling close. He could feel her impending orgasm coming to a head, feeling it in the set of her hips. "That's right, that's right, come for me, Xin."
His thrusts became wild, violent and unforgiving. A string of curses fell from Xin's mouth before they turned into chants of his name. Praises, proclamations of love and need for him. It all jumbled together in a watery mess. "Yes, yes, you fuck me so good. Please, please, Gaara, please."
Xin came to a stop then, arching back and digging her nails so deeply into the wood that Gaara feared they would break from her nail beds. Her head fell back on her shoulders, bruised mouth falling open and eyes seeing nothing as her orgasm violently rocked through her. She seized around him, pushing him into his own violent orgasm. The muscles in his abdomen tightened considerably as she milked him for everything he was worth.
(((AND ENDS HERE)))
It took him several moments to regain clarity, blinking out his post-coital stupor. Xin was still spread out underneath, breathing softly as she tried to gather herself. He pulled out of her with a wet pop, smirking as she visibly shuddered. He took the time to readjust, fixing his clothes and looked around her clothes. Her panties were ruined, he noted, not the least bit guilty but her shorts and tank top remained intact. Xin was weakly pushing herself up when he placed her rumpled clothes down on the desk, watching in amusement as she slowly turned to face him.
Her face was red but she was smiling at him, sitting on his desk completely naked. She brushed her bangs back from her sweaty forehead, breasts bouncing alluringly as she did so. "Um…" she trailed off, for once at a loss for words. "That was...good? Different?"
"It's been almost a year," Gaara replied, as if that answered everything. He leaned forward to place his hands against the desk at her hips, trapping her underneath him. He nipped at her bottom lip, eyes easing closed and kissed her. She reacted in kind, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing closer. She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, humming in delight when he groaned against her.
Gaara pulled back before the kiss could escalate, a wild look in his eyes. He detangled from her completely, reaching to the side for her packed dinner and rumpled clothes. Xin blinked in confusion as he shoved them at her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, allowing her legs to fall around his waist before lifting her off of the desk.
"Ah, Gaara?"
"We're going home."
"Oh….oh."
They vanished in a quick swirl of sand, leaving as if they'd never been there.
"Gaara….is in a really good mood."
Kankuro was somewhat disturbed by his brother's good mood the next morning. He was usually somewhat of a grump in the mornings, especially after a long night of binge working. Temari didn't reply, a mug of coffee pressed to her lips occupying her. "Where's Xin? It's not like her to be the last one up," Kankuro also pointed out. It was true, she was usually the first one up with breakfast waiting for everyone. "Not that I expect her to wait on us hand and foot or anything," Kankuro said quickly, noticing Temari squinting at him. "And not that anything is wrong with you cooking breakfast. It's very good."
"Ah…" Temari trailed off, wondering if Kankuro was that damn dense. Luckily for him, he'd already been asleep by the time Xin and Gaara returned from the Kage tower late last night. Unfortunately for her, she'd still been awake.
They weren't...quiet. Well, she was sure Xin tried to be quiet at first. But she was also sure Gaara had gone out of his way to ruin her attempts at being quiet. Honestly, it's a wonder Kankuro even slept through all of that.
Xin finally made her appearance, looking physically disheveled. Her eyes, however, were sparkling. She wasn't dressed yet, swamped in an oversized shirt that clearly didn't belong to her with wild hair. Temari hoped and prayed that she was wearing shorts underneath that shirt. Gaara handed her a mug filled to the brim with coffee, smiling behind his own mug of coffee. She leaned against the counter next to him, inhaling the scent of freshly brewed coffee lovingly. Kankuro watched the entire thing with raised eyebrows. Temari hid her smile.
"G'morning," Xin slurred after taking several gulps of her coffee. How she didn't mind the scalding drink was beyond any of them. "Um, sorry I wasn't up to cook breakfast, Temari. I was...uh…" she fumbled, blushing brightly. Next to her, Gaara was smug.
"Her legs cramped up this morning," Gaara said instead, ignoring Xin's pointed look thrown his way.
"Your legs cramped up? Jeez, Xin, you really need to get back into the swing of things. Were you not keeping up on your training while you were away in Konoha?" Kankuro obviously babbled, none the wiser as Xin's blush brightened.
"She's a bit out of practice," Gaara grinned into his mug, ignoring Xin nearly choking into her own mug. Temari placed her mug down, pressing her palm to her face to hide her smile. She went the extra mile of looking away, trying in vain to stifle her guffaws.
"How the mighty fall," Kankuro shook his head solemnly. Xin shot him a dirty look, going back to her coffee with a huff. She couldn't resist the smile that pulled at her mouth though, pointedly keeping her gaze from Gaara. She could just feel the smugness radiating from him. When Xin finished eating and drinking her coffee, she quickly left in favor of getting ready for the day. Gaara watched her go before quietly placing his mug down to follow after her. Temari and Kankuro watched as well, silence hanging over them.
"They...they were talking about sex, weren't they?" Kankuro asked after a long pause.
Temari popped her lips, "Yup."
Kankuro made a face of disgust. "Ew."
Again, she popped her lips, "Yup."
Xin's smile was bright despite the dour mood hanging over her. Gaara stood behind her, arms folded apathetically over his chest. Baki stood next to him with a blank face, watching as Xin neared Mai. In all his years of knowing the tricky woman, he'd never seen her looking so low. She was shooting evil looks at Xin, scowling and glaring at the younger woman. It was useless, all of her nasty glares bounced right off of Xin.
"My, my what a turn of events, hm?" Xin approached the woman. "See, all that scheming isn't good for the soul," she patted at her heart, nodding sagely.
Gaara rolled his eyes, knowing she couldn't help but gloat. Maybe if he wasn't the Kazekage and had some sense of respect, he would've had snide words for Mai as well. After all, she plotted against Xin for damn there their entire marriage. Honestly, he was a bit surprised that Xin was the one to come up with a solution that would avoid murdering Mai.
"Xin, just get on with it."
She glanced behind her, pouting childishly as she did so before turning back to Mai. "Well, any last words before your mouth is sealed forever? You probably won't be able to talk about a lot of things you've learned as a council member. Least you get to live, right?"
Mai's scowl was vicious. "You will be his downfall. You can pretend all you want, my lady but you're a rotten woman down to your core. No matter how much you pretend otherwise, you will never erase your past."
Gaara was sure Xin was going to snap. She was going to say fuck the plan and just rip Mai's tongue from her mouth. Either way, she wouldn't be able to discuss any secrets. The muscles in her arms tightened as her hands balled into fists. But then her fists gradually relaxed, unfurling slowly. "Take your own advice, Mai." she said after a long silent moment. With no warning, she began a series of complicated hand signs, fingers twisting easily to form each sign. She reached forward, grabbing Mai by the chin and roughly forcing her head back.
Her other hand began glowing, Chakra encasing her fingers. She pressed her fingers to Mai's mouth, mumbling quietly. Mai's eyes widened, tears filling them as she did so. Xin pried her mouth open moments later, pinching her tongue to pull it out of her head. A black mark began to form on Mai's mouth, morphing until it spelled 'seal' on it. It dissolved into the muscle, vanishing completely. Xin released her, smiling. "There," she spun around, completely dismissing the woman. "Now if she tries to talk about anything that has to do with official business, including the shoddy details of our marriage, she'll seize."
"Shoddy?" Gaara wasn't impressed.
"What happens if she tries to resist and speak against the seal?" Baki asked.
"She'll experience a seizure, foam at the mouth and her tongue will swell until she chokes and dies," Xin's cheery disposition didn't falter despite the severity of her words. She glanced back at Mai, smiling threateningly. "Know your limits, Mai and you'll survive." Again, she brushed the woman off and bounded towards Gaara and Baki, ready to leave Mai. She wasn't sure what Mai planned to do with herself but as long as her tongue was sealed, she didn't care much. She grabbed at Gaara's arm, hugging it to her chest with an affectionate smile.
"Wait," Mai brushed back her messy hair. "What of my granddaughter? What about Yoshiko?"
Gaara's eyes narrowed. "Yoshiko is the least of your concerns right now, Mai. You weren't concerned when you knowingly put her in Xin's path, knowing that it could end in violence."
"Perhaps this will give you time to think of your actions and decide what's important in life, Mai. Your loved ones or getting ahead by any means necessary," Baki's voice was gruff, uncaring at her visible flinch. "I think you said it best. There's no rest for the wicked."
The trio remained quiet as they left the older woman to herself, not saying anything until they were back at the Kage tower. "That was fun," Xin hummed as Gaara settled at his desk. She took her usual spot at the edge of his desk, folding her legs. He gave her a look, nonplussed with her blase attitude to sealing someone.
"Tell me this, Xin," Baki prompted. "If you had a technique like that this entire time, why didn't you mention it before? You don't think it would've proved useful in dealing with Masahiro and the Mikawa boy?"
Xin tapped her mouth. "Honestly? Because I thought using that technique on any of those morons would be too merciful. They didn't deserve to just have information sealed away and the chance to live. They needed to die. Sometimes in this world, people need to die." She stared at Baki with an unabashed look about her, like she wasn't the least bit sorry. Baki stared back at her, visible eye unblinking. She held his gaze, ready to argue her point if she had to. But Baki let out a hum and nodded before reaching over and patting her on the head.
"Good job, Xin."
He left after that, uncaring as Xin blinked wide eyes at him. She turned completely around to look at Gaara, sitting on her knees. "Did you see that just now?" she asked while nearly bouncing in place.
Gaara looked at her, amused by her excitement. "I did."
"He patted me on the head and complimented me. I don't think he's ever done that. Holy shit, I gotta mark this down or something."
"Don't make such a big deal out of it or he won't do it again. Stop bouncing, you're rattling the desk."
"Oh, now you're concerned with rattling the desk."
"Stop talking right now."
"Are you blushing?" Xin sat back with a cackle, leaving her open to Gaara shoving her off of the desk. She hit the ground in a heap but even that couldn't stop her from laughing. "Oh, come on! Don't be such a sourpuss," she squealed from the floor, face red from all of her laughter.
Gaara looked down at her, smiling fondly. He snorted and shook his head, feeling at peace. He hadn't felt like that in months, not since waking up in Konoha and finding out that Xin's memory had been wiped clean. He remembered wondering what the hell he was going to do if she couldn't regain those memories, wondering how he could take her back to Suna to a life she couldn't remember.
He remembered the tightness of his stomach, the fear that resided there at the thought of actually losing her back to Konoha. He could survive without her, that much was clear. He'd survived all his life without Hyuga Xin, he could continue on without her.
That didn't mean he wanted to though.
He shouldn't have to, he reminded himself stubbornly. He deserved something good, something that made him happy. After his hellish childhood and his effort to turn things around and live for others and not just himself, he deserved happiness. His happiness happened to be in the form of not only his siblings but his cackling wife laid out on the floor.
He deserved her, dammit.
Xin's cackling slowly died down and she climbed to her feet while wiping her face. "I needed that laugh," she said in between stray giggles. "Anyway, I should leave you to it. I'm going to meet with Moriya-sensei, hopefully he'll let me come back to work. I can get some more research done as well," she explained, brushing her messy hair back. Gaara offered her a kind smile, proud that she was taking the mental facility seriously. "Oh, before I forget since we were..uh...preoccupied last night," she rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding his gaze. "Remember I mentioned Asuna wanting to be your assistant? Think it over, yes? Discuss it with your council and if they don't like it, I'll seal their tongues as well."
"Is that going to be a new threat from now on?"
"Did you prefer pulling their tongues out of their heads instead?"
"Get out. I promise I'll think about it and talk to the council."
"Great! I'll see you at home tonight, yeah? Try to make it in time for dinner!"
Xin left after that, still smiling as she stepped out under the hot sun. True to her word, she made her way to the hospital. Excited energy began bouncing off of her, eager to get back into the swing of things. She'd had enough going through the motions and not doing much with her days in Konoha. She had her time to heal but now it was time to get back to reality.
Speaking of which, she veered off into the opposite direction of Moriya's office. Instead she trekked to the patients' ward, whistling as she did so. She entered a room without knocking, still smiling all the while. Yoshiko visibly paled at the sight of the woman, scrambling back against the wall. "Why are you in here?" she demanded immediately. "Stay away!" she waved her hands at Xin, as if that was enough to keep the kunoichi away.
Xin approached the cowering redhead, smile not budging. "Oh, don't be like that, Yoshiko. I just came to check on you," she cooed while standing at her bedside. The redhead looked as well as her grandmother, face haggard and hair falling around her face messily. "Mai sends her regards."
"Did...did you kill my grandmother?"
"Kill her? Heavens no. Mai is still very much alive. She's not the happiest but that is to be expected, giving the special circumstances. I didn't kill your grandmother though even though some of the council members suggested doing so." Xin's tone remained casual. Yoshiko's face twisted in horror at the thought. She couldn't believe those old bastards would suggest such a thing! How dare they, after everything Yoshiko had done for Suna.
"Ironic, isn't it? If you can't trust sneaky politicians, who can you trust?" Xin mused, hands behind her back. She rocked forward, the picture of innocence. "Now, I know this'll get me in trouble but I can't say I care much. See, you know things about me that I simply can't let go."
Yoshiko tried in vain to back away but there was no space left. She wasn't fast enough to slip by the kunoichi either. She was trapped, like a rat and there was no one coming to save her. She realized the grave mistake she made when she crossed the Kazekage's wife. Faster than her eyes could see, Xin began a series of complicated hand signs. "You're a loose end that needs to be tied up," she spoke during her complicated hand signs, smile never faltering even when her fingers began glowing blue.
Her hand shot out, quick as lightning to catch Yoshiko by the jaw. Like she'd done to Mai, she pried the woman's mouth open to pinch at her tongue. Like Mai, a black mark appeared on Yoshiko's tongue, forming into the seal. "Some bad habits are kind of hard to shake, you understand, yes? It was either this or I yank your tongue completely from your head and you see, I'm trying to be better than that now. I've had therapy and everything. I don't remember some things but I remember how to remove the tongue from the skull with ease. We wouldn't want that, right?"
Yoshiko slowly shook her head, hands pressed to her mouth and tears threatening to spill over. Xin's smile reminded her of an evil feline, like that damn black cat that constantly followed her around.
"Great! I'm glad we can come to an agreement! Now, fair warning, if you try to speak about anything you read in those letters or discussed with Mai pertaining to me, you'll be stopped as a warning. If you try to go against the seal, you'll experience a seizure, you'll foam at the mouth and your tongue will swell up until you choke on it. Sounds like a hassle, yes?"
"Y-Yes…"
"Yes! No one wants that and we certainly don't want to see it!" Xin's smile was a full on grin now, clapping like Yoshiko was some child. "So, watch your mouth, yeah? Now that that's handled, why don't we try to get along? I'll forgive your snooping, you'll forgive me for putting you in the hospital and we'll continue on."
"Are...are you insane? You put me in the hospital. Do you really think it's going to be that easy to just put that behind me?"
"I don't care if it's easy or not, you'll do as I say. You see, the last person who made my life difficult is dead. I've killed a lot of people because they decided to make mine or Gaara's life difficult. I've only let one person off the hook but I traumatized him so bad that he's scared to even sneeze wrong. Now, the only reason he's still alive is because he's a civilian," Xin leaned over the bed, eyes glinting.
"The only reason why I didn't snap your fuckin' neck is because you're a civilian, Yoshiko. Nothing more, nothing less. Be gracious that you still get to breathe. While I was in Konoha, I had to learn that I didn't need to live for others. Just for myself. I'm doing that. I'm protecting myself, understand? Don't make me kill you."
Xin straightened up as Yoshiko drastically paled for the second time. Such a shame, she was starting to get some color back. "Remember what I said, Yoshi. Speak out of turn and you'll have a seizure. No one wants that so watch what you say, yes? Have a good day."
She left after that, whistling innocently as she did so. Gaara would flip the minute he found out she'd gone behind his back, a habit she clearly had yet to shake. It was necessary, she reminded herself. Otherwise, she'd kill Yoshiko. She couldn't have anyone finding out about her moment of weakness and her fear of miscarriages and children. The rest of the council would eat that shit up.
Just because they turned on Mai didn't mean they were on Xin's side. They still despised her, which was fine because the feeling was completely mutual. If she could get rid of all of them, she would. Unfortunately she wasn't in the position to do so but hell if she didn't consider it.
"Xin-chan, there you are," Moriya had a smile for her, completely unaware that she just terrorized the living shit out of a patient. What he didn't know wouldn't kill him, she mused as he offered her a seat.
They spent the next hour or so discussing her health, mental, physical and emotional. They talked about her time away in Konoha and the therapy she received from Sakura. Moriya didn't seem too worried, knowing Haruno Sakura was a legend in the making and that Xin had been in capable hands. She brought up her idea of a mental facility, an idea that impressed the old director. She admitted to her own struggles with mental health and how she believed Suna would benefit from a mental ward, how the Shinobi needed to be cared for mentally, not just physically.
They spoke about the costs and what they could cut back on, which tradelines they could offer up to other countries and hidden villages. About the impending era of peace that was sure to come thanks to the current Kages and all their efforts.
It was pretty late in the afternoon when Moriya deemed Xin ready to return to work. She left his office with a happy cloud over her head, glad to be of use once more. Sachiko was just as happy to see her back, sliding back into her role of assisting Xin effortlessly. She caught the Hyuga up on everything that had gone on in her absence, pausing every now and then to give Xin time to think everything over.
It was a good day, she decided on her way home from the hospital. She wondered what Temari and Kankuro had been up to all day and if they were home yet. She was eager, eager to get back into the swing of things, to live her life. To be happy.
Xin tilted her head back, soaking in Suna's warm sun. She smiled.
TeeBeMe: Now how many of yall thought Xin kicked her psycho habits? lol. Anyway, I wrote yall a lemon, please like it. Yall know how I feel about writing those but I thought it was well deserving. Whew, I giggled the whole time while watching it. I tried to make it good for yall. I listened to Cola by Lana Del Rey, I feel like it helped a lot. Hope you guys liked that. Were any of yall expecting that sort of thing to happen to both Mai and Yoshi? I didn't want to kill them but something had to be done, right?
I think we got one more chapter for this story. The epilogue. I almost don't want to end it but I think it's getting to be that time. We still have the sequel to look forward to though, right? Still somewhat undecided about Shinki but you guys had some great suggestions. I'm gonna think some things over some more and then start writing.
As always, stay safe! Can't wait to see yall for the next and final update of this story!