"I can't help you," Lee stated in a soothing tone. He'd taken the shaken younger man into his home office and requested his husband make a pot of traditional tea before allowing Lt. Tucker to say a word. Sitting Trip down, Dr Lee Soon Shao put on his professional face, sat back, and listened to the entire sordid tale. Teasing the emotions out of the situation, Lee finally delivered his professional opinion. "I know this information has brought out your emotional nature. Trip, there's a decision to be made here, a decision only you can make."
"I guess," Trip stated mournfully, watching Lee's casual posture while his heart raced and mind wouldn't stop, "I knew that."
"You needed an impartial ear after the shock you received this evening," Lee agreed in a calm monotone. "It's not every day you realise the person you're in love with is destine for a great career, or that their mentor, who is like a father, has far reaching plans. Commodore Forest, to the best of my knowledge has no children. Jonathan Archer fulfils that role. It is a mutually beneficial relationship."
Standing and pacing, Trip instinctively knew all this, but saying the words made it a reality. "Hell, Lee, you've met my parents. They want what's best for their children. Grandpa Chuck would say 'that's what comes from choosing a man!'."
"It that the real problem, Trip?" Lee asked seriously. "Is this a reaction to Jon being the alpha male in your partnership? Are you questioning your sexuality and choices? Is that why you've referred to yourself thought-out this discussion as the 'little wife'?"
"NO," the answer was immediate. "I love him, Lee, more than I ever thought possible. It's just, well, after a year and a half together, we're finally on an even keel. We've got our personal and professional lives together, even though we're being manipulated."
"So, it's this new manipulation that's the real issue," Dr. Shao asked, gently.
"Hell, I don't know," Trip whined. "I'm not sure if I'm more confused now than I was before coming here. I just know that this situation feels wrong. I've never really had any ambition past becoming the Chief Engineer of the first truly interstellar space craft. I've never considered what my career will look like, after I achieve that goal."
"You're only twenty-two, Trip," Lee suggested gently, "and already a leader in your field. This engine will be built in what, five or ten years. You'll still be a very young man, even if you spend ten years as the Chief Engineer. In twenty years, Jon will be in the prime of his life, professionally, and looking for the next challenge, whatever that might be."
"And he'll probably still be in Starfleet as an Admiral," Trip stated with an easy shrug of his shoulders. "Especially if Commodore Forest has anything to say about it. It's the reason he's gone back to Stanford and is doing his masters in diplomacy and politics. I know this is more than a job to Jon."
"But not for you?" Lee questioned.
"That's not the issue," Trip suddenly stood still, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Something about tonight, the conversation with Mrs. Forest set off my fears. I can't even tell you what those fears are, Lee. Jon wanted to get married before this posting."
"You're not married," Lee observed, "so I gather you said no."
"I was still twenty-one when Jon asked in a roundabout way," Trip stated with a little rancour. "He only did it because Fleet Admiral Yamamoto suggested it would further our careers. I told him I don't conform to others expectations and if I'm going against the Tucker tradition of marrying early, I'm not about to roll over for Starfleet."
"You know," Lee smiled, recognising the cogs beginning to turn in the correct direction, "that might just be the root of your problem, Trip. You don't take orders well, from anyone. I'm here to listen to you, anytime."
"I guess that's why you asked me to be your best man," Trip managed to find a moment of flippancy to lighten the mood. "You're right, I needed to talk this through with someone who doesn't have an agenda, hidden or otherwise. My mind was clouded by so much emotion, I couldn't think straight."
"You need to tell Jon where you are," Pieter stated from the doorway. He' been unashamedly listening in from the beginning. "If Lee did this to me, I'd be worried sick."
"I know," Trip sighed, before examining Lt. Wagner's expression. "How many times has he called?"
"Three," Pieter admitted. "Each time more agitated than the last. Are you going to make this situation worse by staying?"
"No, but you can give me your communicator so I can call Jon, then a transport," Trip offered.
"Look on the bright side," Lee offered after Tucker made his arrangements, "at least Jon knows where you'll go, when something upsets you, even if he can't understand why. He knows your safe and speaking with a professional that will give you an impartial prospective."
"And the third degree when I get home," Trip stated mournfully. "Oh, don't get me wrong, he won't ask. It's that kicked puppy look I get, like I've hurt him without reason. Ok, Pieter, don't you start, cause that's the look I'm talking about. I know I've hurt him by not trusting him enough with my feelings. I just needed time to sort this whole situation out in my mind."
"Jon," Lee stated.
"I hurt JON but not trusting JON," Trip glared at the psychiatrist. "Happy now, LEE."
Shaking his head, Dr. Shao offered a final thought, "did this truly come out of left field, Trip, or have you expected it?" When Lt. Tucker's eyes widened in complete shock, Lee had his answer. "We are all professionals. Introducing Jon to our group proved surprisingly easy, he fit in from the first moment. He's every bit as intelligent and capable as the three of us, even if he's the only one without Dr. before his surname. Both his parents were academics, the best in their fields. It makes sense that their son is capable of great things. Do you think you would have been attracted to someone without intelligence and ambition when you have it?"
"Maybe I don't know Jon as well as I should," Trip responded.
"Maybe," Pieter offered, "you don't know yourself as well as you should. What do you really want out of your relationship, Trip? I can tell you from personal experience, it's not a one-way street. Lee and I have our arguments. I'm usually happy to let my husband have his way."
"Until you want your own," Lee smirked. "I've learnt to give in on occasion, trust Pieter's instincts."
"My Daddy said something similar," Trip stated thoughtfully. But this isn't about me, the insight came in a flash, it's about Jon. I'm furious for him, because I'm not sure he understands the far-reaching plans Max Forest has for him, how far that man will manipulate the situation. And I'm sure not ready to be the power behind that throne. Talk about putting the cart before the horse, as Jon would say. If this happens, if Max is able to groom Jon to take his place in Starfleet, it will be years, decades before it occurs as Lee pointed out. The reality is, I don't have the luxury of time. I can see the path stretching out before me, at least the beginnings of it. Jon's journey started on Al Biruni. I have to decide to stay and be in the background, or leave and forge my own reputation and life. I guess that's the real question. What do I want from my life? I know I want marriage and kids after exploring the universe. That hasn't changed since I was a kid. Jon asked about the family company. Maybe that's an option, especially if he's tied up with Starfleet. With all this talk about Rhenium and antimatter production, it would be a good addition for Tucker Technical. Then again, I could go back to MIT. Hell, we haven't even got Dr. Henry Archer's engine off the drawing board and I'm thinking about a future that two or three decades away.
"We often take our role models from our parents," Lee suggested, observing his guest carefully. "I'm not sure Jon had the supportive family dynamics of the Tuckers'. Give him time and your complete trust, Trip. You might be surprised at the result."
Pieter, always the more emotional of the pair, agreed. "You know, the last time we went to dinner, you and Lee were in a deep discussion. I mentioned adopting."
"You're considering kids?" Trip asked.
"It was always part of our plans," Lee nodded. "I'm not getting any younger, Trip."
"Jon listened to me ramble on about the issues of starting a family within a same sex, interatrial marriage," Pieter explained, giving his husband the evil eye. Lee knew when to leave well enough alone. Holding his hands up in mock surrender, he gave the floor over. "IVF, surrogacy, the difference between our heritage. I want a baby with big brown, almond shaped eyes, Trip, to show his father's traits. After the Eugenics war, any kind of genetic engineering or manipulation is forbidden. That leaves us with few options. Before you interrupt, I asked Jon if I was talking to much. He told me 'Trip has sisters. There genetics must be similar', which proves, Jon's at least interested in the topic. My point is, Jonathan Archer loves you. He's not about to let you out of his life when he's thinking about children that share your genetics, no matter where either of you ends up professionally."
"Pieter?" Lee questioned.
"I asked my twin sister already," Pieter informed his speechless husband. "I'm waiting for her reply. I didn't want to say anything until Fayton gave me her answer. After all, I have two others that might help. Now that the cat's out of the bag, she told me if she did this, she'd be the one carrying her child/nephew and meant to be a part of their life, even when the siblings came along."
"Fayton's ova," Lee stated, gobsmacked, "and my sperm?"
"That's usually how a baby is usually created, Doctor," Pieter teased. "Insemination, of course."
"I'll heat that tea," Trip stated, watching Lee become emotional and Pieter comfort his husband. "Then let myself out. I hope it all works out."
"It will," Pieter smiled, his confidence infective.
Nodding, Trip thanked his friends. Walking to the cab, he climbed in silently. His mind full, the young man had a lot to consider on the short flight home. Once there, he called Jon to meet him in the foyer. Archer approached carefully, waiting for his boyfriend to make the first move. Holding out his hand, Trip felt relief when Jon took it and allowed him to take the lead. They didn't talk until they were several blocks away, before a bar known for slow dancing and it mostly homosexual clientele. Pulling Jon into his arms, Trip started to move in time with the crowd.
"I love you," he whispered.
Not quite sure what occurred at the Forest's or why Trip felt the need to consult with Lee, Jon held his tongue. Pieter had given nothing away on the com, other than his boyfriend turned up at their door unexpectedly and more troubled than Lt. Wagner had ever seen. Now this, which completely confused Jonathan Archer but let him know it had more to do with Trip's feeling about himself than their relationship.
When they finally arrived home, they made love more tenderly and passionately than ever before, forcing Jon to ask, "what was that about?"
"I love you," Trip repeated his earlier words, as if that were all the explanation required.
"I know that," Jon responded, confused. "I love you. I just can't help wondering what's caused this."
"Don't ask, Jon," Trip warned, turning over to be spooned. "I'm not sure I'm ready to face my thoughts."
"I'll be right here when you are ready to talk about them," he offered.
"I know," Trip mumbled, "it's the one thing in this mess I can count on."
More confused than ever, Jon found sleep illusive. The next morning, their routine went back to normal and Trip's mood seemed lighter, as though he'd vanquished his demons. Archer found himself watching his boyfriend for the rest of the month and noticing the oddest events would cause a moment of quiet contemplation, followed by an expression of pure determination.
Occasionally, Jon attempted to create the opportunity to talk. Trip never took him up on the offer. Jon noted each episode of quiet contemplation was followed by deep observation when his lover didn't think he'd notice. When they went to Florida for Vicky's birthday, Trip forced his one-year old nephew, Callum O'Shea, into Jon's arms. He'd held the child before but hadn't been particularly interested. Jonathan Archer knew this was a test, but couldn't quite understand Trip's logic.
Work ramped up. Lt. Tucker started spending more time at the complex as the NX prototypes needed fitting out. Late nights became the norm for both of them. Every second Tuesday, Jon stayed behind to attend a tutorial for Master's students at Stanford. He suspected Trip used this time for a project he didn't want Jon to know about. I didn't take long to realise his young lover wasn't spending the time talking to Pieter and Lee. They were too involved with Fayton's pregnancy and getting their home ready for a child.
Between their friends extending their family and the O'Shea's, Jon wondered if Trip's issue had to do with kids. The next time they babysat for Captain Smith, he'd send a few subtle question's in Tucker's direction. Unfortunately, between visits to Florida, his Masters course and the fast approaching date to launch the NX Alpha, Jon never got the opportunity.
"Twenty-three today," Jon woke early for what had become a birthday tradition. "Time to rise, Trip."
Archer could hear the smirk as his boyfriend answered with his usual boastfulness. "You know I'm always ready, Old Man. What you going to do about it?"
"Roll over," Jon ordered, "on your hands and knees."
"You going to sit there and admire my arse," Trip taunted when nothing happened for well over a minute, "or are you going to do something with it?"
"Not ready yet," Jon smirked. "I'm still appreciating the view."
Growling, Archer didn't get the chance to observe any longer. Trip launched himself, knocking them both off the bed. They spent an uncomfortable day, trying to avoid their uniforms chaffing the carpet burn in unmentionable places.
"You and your bright ideas," Jon groused on the transport home. "I was going to take you out to dinner, but you're worse off than me."
"Well," Trip managed a sarcastic rejoinder, "on the bedroom floor is one we won't be adding to the list of do-overs."
Jonathan Archer simply shook his head. "I knew life with you would never be boring, Trip," he stated. Instead of celebrating, the Ensign at the front desk com to tell them Dr. Shao was waiting. "Let Lee into our apartment and tell him we're about ten minutes ten minutes away."
"We got any Chinese tea left from the last time they came to dinner?" Trip asked, obviously worried.
"You see what's happened," Jon ordered, "while I go to the store. I don't like this, Trip. I hope it's not the baby."
"Or Pieter," Tucker responded. "You know, I've turned up on their doorstep twice. Lee's always been there for me. I know he has a wide circle of friends."
"You'll know why he chose you in a few minutes," Jon said, every bit as worried.
By the time he returned to the apartment, Trip and Lee were ensconced on the lounge. Archer didn't disturb them as he headed for the kitchen. However, he did hear Lee say, "I understand now, Trip."
"Want to tell me about it?" Jon asked after Lee returned home.
"The baby's fine, it's a girl, by the way," Trip sighed, patting the seat beside him. "Pieter and their relationships the issue. I never really wondered why Wagner became a Starfleet officer."
Making a noise that stated he was listen, Jon's eyes narrowed on his lover.
"Pieter always wanted to be at the forefront of space medicine," Trip stated sadly.
"Meeting Lee, getting married and now expanding their family," Jon understood, "put those plans on hold."
"Until three days ago, when Lt. Wagner got a promotion and a two-year posting on Marie Curie as the Chief Medical Officer," Trip informed. "There might only be fifty-eight Starfleet personal, but the rest of the compliment of over two hundred is made up of academics. Pieter's going to be practicing and studying space medicine. Lee's beside himself with the baby due in a few months and his husband light years away."
"So, Pieter took the assignment?" Jon asked.
"Lee told Pieter he had no choice and has just seen him off," he confirmed. "He knew how much Pieter wanted this. Now Lee's talking about giving up his private practice and joining the Marie Curie once their daughter's born. He doesn't want to stand in the way of Pieter's career, especially when he could be a pioneer in his field."
Nodding, after four months, Jon finally had some idea of Trip's issue. Lee's comment suddenly made sense. He was giving up his professional vocation to support his partner in life. For whatever reason, Charles Tucker had felt the same way after that dinner with Max and Mia.
Not after, Jon came to the startling realisation, but after helping Mia in the kitchen. What the hell did she say to Trip that got him all worked up. If I'm reading this correctly, it has something to do with my career. We've talked about this, about being the Captain and Chief Engineer on the starship that finally gets humanity among the stars. It's a shared dream and is going to take us at least another ten or fifteen years to get there.
Completely confused, Jon said, "I'm sure it will all work out."
"Even if Lee's not completely happy? Come on Jon, their married and expanding their family, which is something Pieter's always wanted. A ship is no place to bring up a child. Lee's giving up a practice he's spent years building. I hope Pieter understands the sacrifice his husband's making, cause I'm not sure I could in the same situation."
Was that a warning, Jonathan Archer wondered?