Synchronized Heartbeats

Written By: TCOOKIES777

Chapter 39: Always Your Friend

Sousuke had no idea how in the world things had gone from zero to a hundred in just a second. One moment, Gou and he were visiting Rin, the next moment, they were following him, and then suddenly they were watching Rin enter a love hotel with a girl he barely knew. At first, he'd spent the next half hour trying to calm down the little Matsuoka sister beside him, but to no avail.

Her pretty face had paled with shock before trembling lips twisted with utter dismay. He'd watched helplessly as her face crumpled with heartbreak and then she had attempted to cover her pained expression by burying it against her hands.

'Onii-chan lied to me.'

'Let's not jump to conclusions,' he'd tried to reason with her. 'You know Rin's not that kind of guy. We don't know what they plan to do in there.'

But it'd been a poor attempt to alleviate the situation and the broken look Gou had given him was more than enough to say 'there's only one reason a guy and a girl would choose a love hotel of all places'. And Sousuke had been at a loss for words; any excuse he could come up with on Rin's behalf and for Gou's sake would never be enough. Gou was smarter than that and he would never dare to treat her as if she was too foolish to understand such adult affairs. So he chose to remain silent, knowing that was the best and only option for him.

Every minute was so tense that it felt like hours and Sousuke had never felt so stuffy in the car as he did now. Eventually, exhaustion weighed his eyelids down and, when he opened them again, he found that he'd fallen asleep for almost two hours. A large sound of something slamming at his side had jolted him awake and Sousuke jerked his body against the steering wheel, remembering where he was. Subdued sniffles wore away the sleep that fogged his mind. Rubbing his eyes, Sousuke turned to Gou who was looking out her own window. He couldn't see the expression on her face, but the way her petite body shivered was telling enough. He didn't try to ask what had happened in the time he'd been asleep, but told her in a gentle voice that there was a motel in the neighborhood where they could spend the night. Of course, the original plan had been to sleep at the dormitory. However, in the event that Rin might not like the news of the pregnancy, Sousuke had prepared a backup plan for where Gou could stay.

Upon reaching the motel and settling in, Sousuke had asked Gou if she was hungry, but she merely shook her head in reply. Even so, he'd ordered takeout and left the food on the table where they sat now. He ate in uncomfortable silence, unable to taste the hamburger he'd be scarfing down under normal circumstances. But all his attention was on Gou as she stared at the food spread out before her, the air filled with teriyaki sauce and grief.

"You need to eat something," he said, nudging Gou's own wrapped burger towards her.

Again, she shook her head. A timid nod or shake had been her only response since their car ride, and Sousuke held back a sigh. She was in shock, still processing her brother's betrayal and what that meant for, not just their relationship as siblings and lovers, but also for their unborn child whom Rin still had no idea about. And once that shock was over, Sousuke feared what was to come next. No doubt the weight of all those emotions would soon crash down on her and bury Gou alive.

But he would be there to make sure she would not suffocate.

"Just take a bite," said Sousuke, unwrapping the burger for her. He held it up, hoping the delicious smell of melted cheese and sautéed onions would be enough incentive, but she hardly glanced at it. He'd even ordered a side of pickles to sate her pregnancy cravings. "Just one bite," he insisted.

At least for your baby, he held back from saying.

"I…" Sousuke perked up, listening intently to her speak for the first time since the love hotel. Tipping down her face, Gou seemed to squirm uncomfortably in her chair as she mumbled, "I'd like to take a bath."

"Oh… okay," rubbing the back of his neck, Sousuke stood up to grab the toiletries he was grateful to have brought. Of course, the only extra clothes he'd brought were his own, but now wasn't the time to ask if Gou had prepared a spare set for herself. Not when she was teetering on the brink of a breakdown. What mattered right now was that bath. The motel was generous enough to offer amenities of their own, but he offered Gou his own supplies still. "Here's a towel. There should be some soap, but if you want to use my stuff…"

He awkwardly let his arm hang between them, unsure if Gou would accept or reject his offer. Inwardly, he sighed when she accepted the bag of toiletries. Those dainty, cold fingers of hers brushed against Sousuke's and something in his chest squeezed for a second. However, whereas he was hyperaware of her, Gou's head seemed to be stuck in the clouds as she shuffled away into the bathroom. He watched her, staring at that slight crack she'd left ajar instead of closing the door all the way, leaving just an inch of light peeking through. When Gou began stripping her clothes with a sluggish grace, Sousuke found himself unable to look away. His eyes traveled up a bare thigh, but he finally tore his gaze away when the side of her breast flashed across the gap of the door.

Running a hand through his hair, he turned to the single bed in the room, scrutinizing the small space that would barely fit both of them. It was doable, but Sousuke thought Gou would prefer her own space. The floor was hardly appealing though, and he didn't know when was the last time the room had been thoroughly cleaned and vacuumed. Still, he just had to sleep on it for only one night. He supposed it wouldn't be so bad as long as he didn't wake up to a cockroach or spider on his face. Glancing at Gou's duffel bags, he wondered if she'd maybe brought some spare sheets or something he could use, but he was certain that she wasn't in the mood for anything but a bath and rest.

Sitting on the lumpy bed that creaked horribly loud under his weight, Sousuke tugged the scarf off his neck to ruminate over the current situation. It didn't make sense for Rin to lie, and he knew his friend was hardly interested in that girl that'd been with him. Still, Gou was right; why else would they be going to a love hotel of all places?

Gou…

Sousuke leaned his head against his hands. What did she plan to do about the baby now? He'd wanted to ask her that, but he knew Gou wasn't in good condition to give a proper answer at the moment. Also, he feared the answer she'd give him.

Did Rin's opinion about the baby really matter that much?

It's not just about Rin though, Sousuke reminded himself. It wasn't that Gou was only seventeen, but also the child she carried was a product of incest. If the baby had been made from rape between siblings, the situation would have been very different. At least Gou would've been a victim; she wouldn't have been responsible and at least earned some pity if her situation was ever made public. But the truth of her situation right now was that she and Rin had completely consented the entire time. She was not a victim of rape, and Rin was not a rapist; they were simply siblings in love. How could she have a baby in a world that rejected that kind of love?

But if Gou made me the father, Sousuke thought to himself, then I could protect her and her child.

No, he shook his head, stripping himself of his sweater in preparation for sleep. The thought was ridiculous… or was it? Sousuke paused in thought, shivering slightly as his bare skin adjusted to the cold air.

With Gou still only a high school student, there would certainly be challenges if she continued the pregnancy. She would give birth shortly after graduation, but she would still be frowned upon for getting pregnant in high school. Not to mention that, statistically, many young mothers chose not to continue their education in favor of focusing on their newborn. Maybe if Gou worked hard enough, she could still make it in school, but it still wasn't a guarantee. She would have to study hard for her degree, raise a baby, and likely take on a part-time job to tackle the high costs of caring for an infant. The young Matsuoka was tough, but she would need a lot of support to get her through those brutal years. Would Mrs. Matsuoka support Gou and the baby when they were barely pulling through financially? Would Rin even have the chance to support Gou when he would soon be away in America for the next couple of years to train for the Olympics? Sousuke was the only real support Gou had, but even he was just a college student who had yet to experience any romantic relationship. And then there was the bullying Gou would certainly face from her peers…

But if Sousuke acted as father… Well, better him than Rin. At least there would be less drama if incest was not involved. If the father of Gou's child was revealed to everyone to be none other than Gou's older brother, then he couldn't imagine the uproar that would follow. More than that, he couldn't imagine how it would destroy Gou. No, he didn't dare imagine.

A gentle creak of the floorboard resonated across the small room and Sousuke peered over his shoulder to find Gou standing and watching him. Her hair was dripping wet and only a scrappy towel wrapped around her body sheltered her from the freezing cold that seeped into the room. He frowned as she just stood there, gazing meekly at him. "Gou?"

Her hands clutched the hem of the towel which was distractingly short, and Sousuke tried to ignore how much thigh the towel left naked to the eye.

Shaking his head, he stood up to meet her on the other side of the bed, grabbing his own towel. "You're going to catch a cold if you don't dry yourself properly," he said, keeping his tone tender and light as he rubbed her head with the towel. Her face was tilted up as if to watch him even though the towel blocked her eyes, so he couldn't see her expression either.

Once her hair was no longer dripping, Sousuke drew back the towel, finding her gaze already meeting his. Her eyes were red, but there were no tears glistening. She had cried in the privacy of the bathroom as Sousuke expected, but he made no comment even as she continued to watch him. He tried not to squirm under such scrutiny, but he felt that she was looking at him with a certain intensity that overstepped the boundaries of their friendship.

"What is it?" He smiled mildly. "Oh, right, you need clothes. If you don't have any, you can borrow mine. I have a sweater you can—"

Small hands pressed against his chest and Sousuke suddenly found himself shoved onto the bed. The sharp bounce of the mattress stole his breath and he blinked at the dirty white ceiling just as a sudden weight slid onto his pelvis. Cold knees dug into his waist and Sousuke haltingly drew his gaze to the girl attempting to pin him down with the weight of her body. Damp bangs covered her eyes as she bowed her head, but her body was strung tight like a drawn bow.

"Gou?" Sousuke asked carefully, trying to keep his eyes on her face and not the hem of the towel that had ridden dangerously high on her hip thanks to her current position.

The swell of her belly made the towel strain against every curve of her body and Sousuke feared that one wrong move and the towel would come undone, so he held completely still. Sitting atop of him in silence, Gou dragged her hands from his abdomen to his chest. For a second, he forgot how to breathe at the sensation of her delicate fingers on his flesh, but he couldn't help but notice how her fingertips were like ice.

Wordlessly, Gou rolled her hips against his and Sousuke's hands flew to her thighs, fingers digging into pale skin to hold her. "Gou," he warned her. She did it again and this time a low groan escaped him upon realizing that she was utterly nude beneath that towel and not even panties protected her. Her heat bore down on his crotch and Sousuke squeezed his eyes shut, the fantasy of the wet heat between her legs beginning to sear into his mind. "Stop," he whispered. "You're… You're not thinking straight."

But he saw the way she bit her bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, so he didn't stop her when she rolled her hips onto his aching crotch again, and again, and again. When another groan of restrained pleasure escaped him once more, Gou finally paused, only to mumble something. Patiently, Sousuke waited, drawing light circles on her thighs as she struggled to speak. When she did, her voice was so small and trembling with the urge to weep as she said "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he spoke softly, with understanding.

"I'm sorry, I just… I've been holding back so long… I don't want to, but I can't help it!" She shook her head, tormented by the emotions raging in her heart warring with the wants of her body. "I can't… can't control myself! I hate this. I hate this so much!"

"I know, Gou" Sousuke nodded. "I know."

She may have thought he was just trying to appease her, but he sincerely did have sympathy for her. Months ago, before Gou had admitted the truth of her pregnancy, Sousuke had spent days researching all about it. Anything to confirm or deny his suspicions towards the Matsuoka siblings. He was shy to admit, but he'd learned a great many things about a woman's reproductive health. It was how he'd been so sure Gou was pregnant. And one of the things he'd found out about pregnancies was the sharp increase of the woman's libido due to the extra blood flow in her genitals. These past months, Gou had fooled him pretty well though, what with the way she always remained composed for the most part. It wasn't like he'd ever caught her with her pants down. But now Sousuke realized it'd all been a front, and she'd been suffering in silence all this time.

Until now.

And it was torturing her, he knew that. This was something she needed, but didn't want. Not when her heart still belonged to another man.

As Sousuke watched Gou helplessly rub herself against him, he decided he would make the difficult decision for her… so that she wouldn't have to. So that she wouldn't have to live with the guilt and responsibility of what they were about to do. He didn't mind shouldering that burden for her. After all, he'd promised to support her in any way possible.

Reaching for the scarf he'd set aside, he reached up and brushed his knuckles across her cheek, startling Gou slightly with the gentle action. "S-Sousuke-kun?"

"It's okay," he whispered, wrapping the scarf around her eyes. "Just trust me."

"I…" Gou hesitated, but didn't pull at the scarf blinding her of all sight. "I just…"

"I know," said Sousuke, knotting the scarf securely around her head. Then he took her hands and guided them down his stomach, and he watched as she jolted upon touching the zipper of his jeans. The tips of her ears were red with both shame and lust as she timidly fingered the zipper, knowing exactly what it covered. "Just a little, okay?" he guided her fingers, using them to unbutton his jeans and then drag the zipper down.

Her body seemed to shudder at the sound of the zipper teeth coming apart. Licking her lips, she murmured, "But S-Sousuke-kun—"

He pressed a finger to her mouth, her lips stilling at the slightest pressure. Sousuke shook his head even though he knew she couldn't see him. "Don't worry about me. Don't think about me. Just think about what you want…." Nudging her to sit up slightly, Sousuke proceeded to tug his jeans down, kicking them off until he heard it plop to the floor. Left in only his thin boxers, Sousuke took hold of Gou's hips and guided her back onto his lap, eyeing the way her mouth dropped open with pleasure upon feeling the solid heat between her thighs. "Right now, you and I are just Mister and Miss. So just a little… Just a little for tonight."

A terse silence passed between them until finally—finally—Gou shifted her hips once more. Sousuke groaned quietly, relishing the wet heat soaking into his boxers and making the blood in his body rush South. Gou began rolling her hips more quickly, firmly, with an eagerness that only aroused him more. His cock was already partially erect, helplessly trapped against her unclothed pussy, but her movements quickly stiffened him to a full erection.

"Oh…!" A small moan slipped from her mouth, emboldening Sousuke to try a thrust. Throwing his hips up, gently but firmly, he observed the way she opened her mouth more to release a louder moan, spurring him on. "Th-There! Yes!"

Holding her hips, he set a mild pace, testing the waters and studying what got her squirming for more. The front of his boxers was now damp from the way his cock was pressed against her core. Were it not for the thin scrap of cloth that still covered his erection, he'd be inside her already. It took a great deal of willpower and control to keep from tugging those boxers down and slipping inside her. He knew it'd be so easy to do so, and that he could be inside Gou within a few seconds. Even now, he could feel her moist pussy rubbing against his cock, the thin fabric of his boxers the only thing that separated their flesh. Just feeling her like this felt like heaven, and Sousuke wondered what her insides sheathing his cock would feel like. He could die in bliss right then and there.

Gou, he moaned in his head, wishing he could say her name aloud instead.

He'd be a liar if he ever tried to deny it'd been a long-time fantasy to have the little Matsuoka sister ride his dick like this, but if only it weren't under these circumstances. Except tonight wasn't about him—no, it was all about her, and he would make sure to keep it that way.

"Ah!" Gou threw her head back, as she began to meet his thrusts with greedy bounces. "H-Harder!"

Sousuke obeyed, and he swore he heard Gou quietly sigh out, 'Good boy' before the volume of her moans rose in tandem with the tempo of his thrusting.

They were simulating the act of sexual intercourse and the one thing that kept them from the real thing was his damn boxers sticky and wet with their fluids. Dazedly, Sousuke wondered if he should toss this pair after or keep it.

"You're so hard," Gou whimpered atop of him. "So hot!"

Had Gou not have been blindfolded, Sousuke would've been embarrassed with how easily she'd aroused him as if he was a pubescent teen all over again. Only this time he wasn't masturbating but letting his crush ride him. His erection had created a sharp tent in his boxers and Gou was consistently aiming to grind the center of her soft core directly onto him, forcing Sousuke to grit his teeth from the mix of pleasure and pain. He wondered if she was feeling the same way, but such thoughts perished when she gyrated on him as if she was actually trying to take him into her body. By now, he didn't even know if his boxers were ruined from his fluids or her own, and Sousuke didn't care. His blood rushed hot in his veins, breaths coming in heavy pants that mingled with Gou's as they rocked against each other. The tingle of an oncoming orgasm was a familiar feeling, but this time was different and far more powerful.

This time, the girl he loved was in his arms, willing to be touched by him. And nothing could beat the sensation of a girl's soft and supple flesh creating a promiscuous friction with his body. Nothing could beat the delicate strawberry scent that pervaded the space between them. Sousuke wanted nothing more than to have Gou wrapped around him like this for the rest of the night.

"I—ahn! I n-need to stop!" she gasped, but she continued rubbing herself onto his clothed cock.

"You need release," Sousuke grunted, pressing deeper into her core despite the cloth of his boxers getting in the way. Pliable flesh seemed to part around his tip, enveloping Sousuke in a tight heat as he forced himself further into her as far as those fucking boxers would let him. From the way she whimpered, Sousuke thought she might've felt discomfort with having his boxers rub against her slick walls, but she didn't say any word of protest, so he continued.

The bottom flap of her towel began to loosen from their movements, the edge of the hem tickling his pelvis. All he had to do was lift it up less than an inch and he'd be able to glimpse her pussy. The temptation to do so tore Sousuke apart as he eyed that hem flutter dangerously high on her curves, just below the swell of her belly. That belly that swayed so tantalizingly against him. Just looking at her baby bump made Sousuke's cock twitch as he entertained the fantasy of having gentle, passionate sex with a pregnant Gou. Even just giving a pregnant Gou a much-needed orgasm pleased Sousuke's more primal urges. But the other half of him—his better half—was hit with the guilt of betraying his best friend like that even if he disapproved of what Rin had done to Gou. Tearing his eyes away from her swollen belly, Sousuke turned his attention to the generous bosom the towel threatened to reveal.

"Sou…" She bit her lip, her moans coming out breathless and pitched now. "Mis—ah! Mister, s-something… aahn… it's c-coming!"

He knew he should have stopped her.

But he did not. He found that he had no desire to. Did that mean he was being a bad friend? Yes, but in that moment, Sousuke didn't care.

He simply wanted her.

He didn't even warn Gou before he came, his hips pressing sporadically against hers. When she whimpered upon feeling the warmth of his semen soak into the thin barrier that separated the walls of her pussy from the swollen tip of his cock, Sousuke silently held her, grinding her down on him. He couldn't help but imagine shooting his seed deep inside her. Such fantasies ran rampant in his mind, twisted by desire. Just the desire to be buried to the hilt inside her was so potent, and Sousuke was grudgingly thankful for the thin boxers that separated their delicate flesh. Still, he could feel soft walls part around the head of his cock, her body seemingly welcoming him in despite the boxers making it difficult. He wanted more—more of that tight heat that teased him, and Sousuke pressed her down until their hips were pressed almost painfully together. He grit his teeth, but Gou only balled her hands against his chest and opened her mouth to let out a low, lascivious sigh that made his cock twitch for more.

Sousuke was well aware that, under normal circumstances, there was a chance he could've gotten Gou pregnant like this despite the thin boxers separating their bodies. But these were not normal circumstances since Gou was already pregnant. Even now, he could feel her swollen belly snuggling against his hard stomach, the round weight brushing his pelvis. For a moment, guilt stabbed in his chest but he returned his attention to the girl in his lap, eyeing the part of her face the scarf did not cover.

"Tell me what you want, Miss," asked Sousuke, watching her baby bump sway directly in front of his face in time with her hips as she bounced and rolled and grinded desperately for release. "Tell me."

Letting one hand slide up the rough scrap that barely covered her body, he lightly squeezed a plump breast that threatened to spill out of the towel. The gentle fondle of her breast elicited a pleased sigh from Gou who murmured, "You… I want—ah!—I want you, Mister."

For some reason, that answer felt like getting shot in the heart with joy and gratification, and Sousuke was surprised when he let out a growl, squeezing her breast harder as a reward. She cried out approvingly and the urge to rip that shitty piece of a towel off her body hit Sousuke harder than ever. Still, he resisted, clinging to the bonds of their friendship like a lifeline in a sea of sin.

Just a little, Sousuke reminded himself.

He was able to keep his hips from moving any further, but the delicate 'o' of her mouth was far too tempting and Sosuke surged forward, his tongue meeting hers. Gou made a small noise of surprise, pausing at the lewd kiss. For a moment, Sousuke wondered if he'd taken it too far, but then her tongue gingerly stroked his and they soon fell back into their rhythm. Sousuke, not blindfolded, led her tongue with his own until it became a battle for dominance. But she was at a disadvantage, unable to see, and Sousuke forced her into submission, sucking on the candy of her tongue in triumph. All the while, he made sure their lips never touched.

Just a little, he repeated in his head.

Her little mewls and pants urged his cock back to life and Sousuke couldn't help but thrust up. Gou yelped at the unexpected action and she grabbed at his shoulders to keep her balance. A quiet chuckle escaped him and he sat up, grabbing Gou's hips to adjust him on his lap before he began again, thrusting at a firm and steady pace.

"S-Sousuke-kun!" Gou moaned, digging her fingers into his shoulders.

"Mister," he corrected her, punishing Gou with a sharp stroke that made her cry out. The bed was screeching offensively loud beneath them, its creaks violent and noisy enough to wake the neighbors. But Sousuke had paid for the privacy of this room and, tonight, he wasn't in the mood for consideration. Tonight, he didn't plan to be a good neighbor.

He planned to give the girl he loved the orgasm she deserved.

"Mister! I—aah! Ahn!" She moaned louder, almost tearfully. Her body went stiff, muscles locking in ecstasy. Sousuke wished he didn't need to blindfold her so that he could see entirely the face she made upon orgasm. "I… Oh god!" She shuddered atop of him and Sousuke swore he could feel her muscles twitch and pulse where they were wrapped around his cock. "Oh god, it's… it's coming again! M-Mister! I… I can't…!"

A third orgasm? Greedy girl, Sousuke wanted to say, but he held back the words with a sly grin instead. The blindfold kept her from noticing his perverse reaction.

"It's okay," He shushed Gou, tucking her hair behind an ear. Then he leaned in and whispered, "Cum on my cock, Miss. Cum as hard as you can. It's all right..."

And she did, and Sousuke watched the petite girl he held on his lap tremble with unbridled pleasure. Another wave of warmth spilled across his boxers and he breathed in deeply, letting the intimate, musky scent of her sex fill his lungs. He continued to thrust, gently now as Gou rested her cheek against his shoulder, each roll of his hips stealing quiet, tired moans from her. When he came again, his seed spurting into the soaked front of his boxers, Sousuke was surprised when her legs clenched around his waist as if to press herself closer. His cock was soaked with her love juices, and sticky with his own cum, but Sousuke's pleased groan faded when something wet dripped down his arm, hot and small.

She's crying, he realized.

Drawing back, Sousuke noted the tears streaming down flushed cheeks, and he asked her, "Did I... hurt you, Miss?"

"N-No, Mister," Gou whispered, and he watched as she licked her lips. "No, I… I feel good."

Hesitantly, he slipped the scarf from her face, and she opened her eyes to peer at the man who'd pleasured her tonight. She gazed upon him like a woman who had just devoured a five-star meal; the hunger that had simmered in the look she'd given him before tackling him to the bed was sated for the time being. Yet, there was shame burning bright in her eyes.

"Better?" he asked gently.

Her cheeks deepened in color and she nodded almost shyly.

Then why are you crying? Sousuke wanted to ask, eyeing those plush lips filled with the same color that stained her cheeks. Slowly, he leaned in and pressed his mouth to the corner of her eye. Gou gasped quietly but didn't say anything as he dragged his hot lips down her cheek, tracing her trail of tears with the lightest of kisses. His kisses stopped at the corner of her mouth and Sousuke drew back to gauge her reaction. Her face was tilted back and lips puckered just the slightest with expectation. But holding her right there, Sousuke could feel the way her hands were fisted against his shoulders, her little body tensed like a trapped rabbit, ready to bolt at a moment's notice. With a sigh, he kissed her forehead instead.

"S-Sousuke-kun," Gou began to say, exhaustion thick in her voice.

But he guided her head to rest against his shoulder, her tear-stained cheeks hot on his bare skin. "Hush," he said quietly.

She remained still, sitting on his lap and her head cradled against him as he stroked her hair. He said nothing, and neither did she, and he continued to stroke her head over, and over again until he felt her body relax and then eventually go slack.

Slowly, carefully, he adjusted themselves and set Gou down on the bed. He proceeded to brush her hair away until he could clearly see her sleeping face. Though she looked relaxed, somehow, her expression was not peaceful. Sousuke cupped her cheek, caressing the soft skin with a thumb as he watched her sleep. Her skin was still warm to the touch and flushed from the sexual high he'd gifted her. Despite what they'd just done—giving into the hedonistic pleasures of the flesh—her blushing face only gave Gou the image of an innocent maiden dreaming of a sweet love. And Sousuke couldn't help but wonder how many times had Rin seen this erotic face? How many times had Rin laid naked with his sister and fallen asleep with her in his arms?

"I wonder if you were thinking about him the entire time," he whispered, memorizing the beauty of her sleeping face. "Or were you thinking of me?"

The latter was highly unlikely, but Sousuke liked to think it was he whom Gou had imagined in her mind as she orgasmed all over his cock multiple times.

His hand slid around her cheek until he pressed his thumb to her bottom lip, feeling the rosy, flesh like he'd often wanted to. It was bruised where she'd bitten herself.

His heartbeat seemed to roar in his ears as Sousuke carefully leaned closer, and closer, until he could feel the heat of her body. He eyed Gou's mouth, remembering the way he'd slid his tongue around hers like the perverted bastard he was.

For too long a moment, Sousuke wondered if the sleeping beauty lying beneath him would awaken if he were to kiss her on the lips. And if she were to kiss him back… Wanting to test that theory, he dipped his face down until his lips were away from her's just by a hair's breadth. But he couldn't find it in himself to close that gap. It wouldn't be the kiss he'd always wanted. It would just be a fleeting pleasure to satiate him for the moment.

"Why can't I be the one to give you happiness?" He voiced the question he'd been dying to ask Gou for so long already. When will you choose me?

Never had he dared to pop the question to her in fear of her answer. Too often, in the more quiet moments they spent together, he found these questions poised on the tip of his tongue and he'd swallow back the words before he'd regret them. But every day was a struggle, and every day, his patience wore thinner.

His eyes fell to the swollen belly straining against her towel and Sousuke reached down to secure the towel's hold around her body. Then, unable to help himself, he gingerly placed his hands around the bulge, feeling the five months swell of progress. Briefly, Sousuke wondered if the child inside was a boy or girl. He didn't like addressing the baby as 'it', but he understood Gou's refusal to find out the sex; she didn't want to get too attached.

Very lightly, Sousuke swept his hands across the baby bump, enjoying the feel of the rotund shape. "Why can't I be your father?" He whispered to the baby bump. As if in response, there seemed to be the lightest tap against his palm, coming from Gou's belly. Sousuke's eyes widened and then he remembered Gou mentioning that the baby's movements were becoming more frequent and stronger. With a wry smile, he leaned in closer to her swollen belly and whispered to the child nestled inside, "Hey, let Mama sleep, okay?"

Peeking at the aforementioned mother, Sousuke moved to press a chaste kiss on her temple. With a sigh of defeat, he slipped off the bed and tucked Gou in, making sure she was as warm and comfortable as she could be under the scratchy blanket. He didn't think he'd be able to get any sleep tonight anyway. Casting one last look to Gou who remained asleep and blissfully unaware of what he'd been about to do to her, Sousuke stole away outside for a breather after changing clothes.

The temperature was freezing, but Sousuke decided he needed to feel the cold to calm down the hot blood that still flooded his groin. Plus, he needed a bit of space away from Gou. They'd been spending too much time together these past months, and Sousuke was well aware of how it was affecting him. He'd deny it, but the feelings he always locked away in his heart were slipping through the cracks. One day, he feared that the dam would break loose.

Rin had entrusted Sousuke with the responsibility of taking care of the young Matsuoka sister. It was clear that 'take care of' didn't mean pleasuring her towards climax. Sousuke's job was to protect Gou from perverts looking to get their dirty hands all over her. Yet, Sousuke had gone behind Rin's back and done just that, allowing the little sister to do what was as close to sexual intercourse as they could possibly do. If she hadn't been pregnant already, Sousuke would be running to the store for an emergency Plan B pill right now. In his lust for his best friend's little sister, he had been that careless. He was losing control.

Horny bastard, he thought bitterly. I can't even protect Gou from myself.

Breathing heat into his cupped hands, Sousuke stared up at the sky, shivering as he studied the few stars that were out tonight. "I'm the worst friend," Sousuke admitted as he smiled sadly at the moon, the only witness of what he'd done to Gou tonight. "Fuck me."

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.

.

The return trip home was completely silent, and Sousuke respected Gou's wish to keep it that way. They both preferred the stifling silence rather than forcing themselves to start a conversation hollow of any meaning. The few times they spoke to each other was to ask for food or bathroom breaks. A reserved person himself, Sousuke didn't mind the lack of talk, and he could hold a conversation with Gou if she so desired. Except, she didn't.

So when they reached her house and Sousuke finished carrying her bags inside, his heart leaped when she finally looked him in the eye and murmured his name with such earnestness. Then his heart sank when she asked him, "Can we forget about last night?"

"Last night?" he echoed, the intimate memory of that time flashing in his mind. Hot skin, moist sex, tongues entwining, deep sighs and strained groans, the bed squeaking under her bounces and his thrusts… The smell of her still lingered on Sousuke's skin.

"Last night was wrong." He could feel something in his chest squeeze, making it a chore to breathe. Those dainty fingers that'd been dragging down his bare chest last night were now twisting together anxiously. An innocent pink stained Gou's cheeks with what Sousuke suspected was shame and embarrassment. It was a struggle for the both of them to maintain eye contact and Sousuke was the one to look away first when she said, "I shouldn't have used you like that just because I was hurting, I'm sorry."

What if I wanted you to use me like that? Sousuke shrugged casually, "It's fine."

"It's a good thing we didn't go all the way."

I wish we'd gone all the way. At least give me the chance to give you the love you deserve. "That was a close call."

"I just… I wasn't myself last night." Gou did that thing she'd do since she was a kid whenever she lied: hide her hands behind her back. Sousuke bit back a somber smile when he noticed the familiar act. "I don't know what came over me. It was like my body was moving on its own."

You were baring your heart to me. "I read that pregnancy hormones can make you emotionally unstable," he tried to reason with her. Give her something else to blame other than herself.

"Yeah," she flashed a smile that didn't reach her tired eyes. "I do feel like I've been losing my mind or that I can't control myself. Like I know that what I'm doing or saying is wrong, but I can't help but feel the way that I do about it."

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean, Sousuke thought to himself, remembering what he'd almost done to her when she fell asleep. Did she not know how close he had been to tearing off her towel and taking her right there, in that musty motel room while she was five months pregnant? No, she couldn't have known. She'd been asleep and, had he gone through with it, Gou would have awoken to his cock buried inside her and him thrusting away like the traitorous friend he was. He'd been that close to abusing her trust and right after she'd just out about her own brother's betrayal.

"So," she sucked in a breath, lowering her gaze to the floor, "last night never happened, okay?"

For once, Sousuke didn't want to give her what she asked of him. He wanted to press Gou against the wall and kiss her by the tongue as he did before. He wanted to force out those sweet moans that'd echoed in his ear hours ago. And once she was panting for breath, cheeks flushed and gaze half-lidded with lust—the spitting image of last night—he would ask her, 'Did this never happen too?'

But when those garnet eyes rose up to fix him with a stare that reflected such pain and weariness, Sousuke relented. He gave Gou that same friendly smile he always did, and patted her head the way she was used to since they were children, and then calmly repeated back to her, "Last night never happened."

Then she'd returned the platonic smile, and they parted ways as the good ol' friends they'd been for their entire lives.

In the late evening, when Gou called him to ask if he would meet her at the clinic tomorrow morning because the clinic policy required abortion patients to have someone drive them home once the procedure was over, Sousuke merely grit his teeth before promising to be there for her.

Because he was her friend, and he would always be there for her.

And when it was time to go to bed, Sousuke pulled out his ruined boxers and began masturbating to the same old fantasy of Gou loving him as he loved her. The only difference this time was that he now had the memory of what it would be like to make love to her. And when he came, hot seed bursting out all over his hand and her name spilling from his lips, Sousuke could say for certain that that was the best orgasm he'd ever experienced from masturbating.

Then he wiped the sticky mess he'd created, peeled off his clothes, gingerly stretched his sore muscles—taking care with his bad shoulder—and headed into the bathroom for a hot shower. It was past midnight when he went to bed, his hair still a bit damp. Sousuke checked his phone for any texts from Gou before setting an alarm to wake up and take her to the clinic for an abortion first thing in the morning.

Because he was just her friend, and he promised to always be there for her.

A/N: Writing a whole chapter dedicated to Sousuke's perspective was a refreshing take I enjoyed. I know most of you are probably here for that sinful buffet of Matsuoka incest, but how do you feel about Sousuke so far? As a SouGou shipper, I'm biased so I squeal for moments between these two.

Also, for those who've been leaving comments, thank you - I see them and sincerely appreciate them even though I always forget to respond. Speaking of comments, I've been wanting to ask you guys this: do you want or like it when I respond to your comments? Personally, as a fanfic reader, I never expect the fanfic author to respond to my comments and it gives me anxiety when they do (regardless of what their response is). I often don't respond back when that happens unless I'm prompted to. So I guess it's down to preference, but what about you? Especially if you've frequently been leaving comments, please let me know if you'd like if I responded back to you!