Chapter 67 - No Rest

The sun was burning down from a cloudless sky. Tony didn't mind the heat though. If anything it felt like the bright Californian sun was giving him the boost he had needed, loading all his drained energy reserves with warm strength.

He had to be dreaming. There was something about the calm, the weightlessness of his body that just felt too good to be real. There was also the sight in front of him, that had to be fake. It was fake. He knew it was impossible but the idea that it could be real... it was just too damn perfect for him to care if this was a fever dream. Pepper, perched on a bright red blow-up chair, floating in the pool, legs lazily dangling into the water. Right next to her, swimming and diving like a little dolphin, was the most perfect little boy anyone could ask for. His nose still a little white from all the sunblock, he chased through the water after whatever little toy Pepper threw out for him to dive after.

Tony had the perfect spot, chilling at the side of the pool underneath the huge canvas awning, just watching the two people he loved most in the world.

It wasn't real. It was so obvious to him even as his lips seemed to be frozen in an ever-present smile. Not just because he had never seen Pepper sitting in a ridiculous pool chair like that before, but because that pool was gone. Bombed to pieces like the rest of his mansion in Malibu. And that little boy splashing around in the water? He was an impossible sight.

Aiden looked just like he had in that picture that Tony had found in the kid's desk drawer. Maybe a little older. 5 or 6 years old, round cheeks, that boyish grin when he went to dive after the rainbow-colored little fish toy as it sank to the bottom of the pool. Pepper giggled when his head popped out of the water, spraying her with droplets of cool water.

"I win!" He handed her the little fish, eyes shining with joy.

Pepper laughed. "Fine, you win."

"Again! Let's go again!"

"I don't know, Addy." She leaned back in the chair, fanning herself with the toy. "Maybe it's time for a break. Some lunch?"

"But... is too soon," his voice almost a bit shocked. Even though the little boy had his back turned towards Tony, he could still see that pleading puppy-dog look on the kid's face right in front of him.

Pepper sighed dramatically. "Your lips are turning blue. Maybe in the afternoon—"

"But... but, no..." His mouth was round, open eyes pleading as he turned to Tony for support. A splash behind him startled the boy. "Hey!"

"Oops. Oh no..." Pepper's face was a mask of innocence. "Where did it go? Who could find it now?"

"Daad!" The boy was giggling though, jumping after the toy, having Tony's girl laugh as she tried to avoid the splash of water. "Pep's cheating!"

It wasn't real.

A part of him didn't care. A part of him was all too happy to just sit there and watch, get lost in the life that was right there. The life that had been supposed to be his.

A moment later, his eyes fluttered, not opening all the way, just cracked as little as possible. There was a low glow of light around him, the room quiet until...

"Tony?"

There was a hand on his thigh and on instinct he shrunk a little into himself, almost like his body was physically trying to hold onto that picture-perfect life that was slipping through his fingers with every millisecond that awareness of the here and now came back to him. His arm tightened around the torso of the boy that still lay close to him, his head resting on Tony's chest.

"Honey, come on, wake up..."

Tony blinked a couple of times till his eyes turned to his left. Pepper had a hand on his leg, had been shaking him just enough to wake him. At some point, he must have fallen asleep, had slid down the back of the couch until only his head was cushioned against the back at an angle that couldn't be healthy for his neck, certainly not at his age. He pressed his eyes shut taking stock of all the different body cramps that were painfully waking up along with his mind.

"Have you been here all night? It's almost 5 am." Her voice was low, whispering.

"Not... not all night..." His voice was raspy but he suppressed the urge to clear his throat so he wouldn't wake the kid. Peter was lying on his right side, arms and legs both drawn close. His face was facing the couch, facing Tony, but mostly hidden against Tony's shirt. His injured left arm had loosely fallen across his stomach settled in front of him, his body almost protectively curled around it. The right one though had snake up, his hand holding onto Tony's lower arm with an iron grip. Tony's own arm was wrapped around the boy's lower torso, his left hand on the back of his head, tangled in his hair.

Tony didn't remember falling asleep. He really shouldn't have fallen asleep. The kid was still so fragile, still confused, and scared. He could have talked himself back into a panic, gone through with his suicide mission after all while Tony had gotten some shut-eye on the couch. An uncomfortable hot knot formed in his stomach.

"Honey? What happened? Are you okay? Is..." Pepper knelt down next to the couch, a hand still on his thigh, eyebrows pulled together in a frown, her other hand hovering over the boy. "Is everything alright?"

Tony nodded. It was. For now. The kid was still there. He let that thought sink in for a moment. His kid was still here. Nothing was going to happen to him. Then he craned his head and found the kid's eyes were open. Peter was looking up at him.

"You alright?" His hand softly ruffled through the boy's hair.

Peter didn't say anything. His head moved in a bit of a forward motion that loosely resembled a nod.

"Alright..." He reluctantly untangled his arms from the kid. "Come on, buddy."

Peter was a little shaky as he pushed himself up into a sitting position but Pepper stepped up to him as soon as he moved. She slung an arm slung around his back, helping him to his feet. "Let's get you into a bed, darling. Tony, you too."

"Right," Tony whispered, his back still flat against the couch.

Pepper shot a frown over her shoulder at him as she led the boy away, back to his room, but Tony only gave a slight nod. She was worried, unsure what had happened and he would tell her. Just not right now.

Slowly, Tony cracked his neck, stretched his limbs one by one before he carefully pushed himself off the couch. His body was not cooperating any longer. He needed rest, that much was clear. He had been ignoring all the warning signs but he couldn't stretch himself much thinner if he wanted to keep functioning. Just one thing he had to do before he would be able to find any sort of rest.

The lights were dimmed low as he stepped onto the elevator. A few seconds was all it took to get to the level below them. The spider-suit was still right where he had left it.

His brain was a little slow. The ache in his limbs was an uncomfortable reminder that he should have just stayed on the couch. There was no time to mope though, not now. He picked the web-shooters off the workbench. There would be time to finish this later. In a week or two. Even a month from now. It wasn't like the kid would be in need of a crime-fighting suit any time soon. It was when he went to reattach the shooters to the suit, that he froze.

"FRI, who was in here?"

"I'm sorry, Boss, you need to be a little more specific."

"Did anyone come to the lab after I left? Did anyone touch these?" He held up the web-shooters that were now missing any sign of the clogged webbing they had been covered with earlier.

"No, Sir."

Tony's pulse had jumped into overdrive. Adrenaline had kick-started his every sense and all of a sudden, he was wide awake again. "The kid wasn't in here?"

"No, Sir. Your son has not left your side all night and nobody entered the lab since you left it at 2:14 am."

His fingers softly rubbed over the spot on his chest where the bruise from the bullet he had caught a few days ago was slowly fading. Deep breaths. His eyes were glued to the two shooters in his other hand., but they were completely clean now. How—

"Boss, I pulled up one of the scans of Peter Parker's notebook for you. I think this might help."

Tony turned, eyes on the projection. FRIDAY had pulled up the formula for the Spiderling's web fluid. Quickly, he scanned the page and sure enough, at the very bottom was the explanation he had been looking for.

Web fluid would dissolve after 3 hours, time subject to the concentration of carbon tetrachloride used.

Tony shook his head. "It just dissolved?"

"The wall panels are airtight, Sir."

"Right..." Tony nodded instead. "No oxygen."

That explained the weird consistency of the fluid on the shooters. The process had been interrupted by the lack of oxygen in the panel, was frozen instead. Tony pursed his lips, cursing the cut on his finger that now seemed even dumber than before.

Replacing the web-shooters on the sleeves only took a moment. "Alright, FRI. Update the maintenance report and look it up. No access without my personal authorization. I'm—"

Tony had turned, had just been about to tell her to shut down the lab for the night - or for what was left of that night - when he caught a glimpse of the line still highlighted in bright orange on the suit screening protocol.

"FRI, I told you to update the report."

"I did, Sir."

He glanced over his shoulder at the spider suit then back at the projection. "Update again."

"Yes, Sir. Update completed."

The error message was almost mocking him now.

"Why is that E7 still popping up, then?"

"E7 has not been resolved, Boss."

"But..." Tony blinked a couple of times, still staring at the error code. "Visualize E7."

The projection changed from the code he had run to a full-body view of the suit. The projection of the suit's outer layer turned from the actual fabric pattern to a heat map displaying various shades of green all over the suit except for one spot. FRIDAY shifted to an alternate view, the suit tilted by 90 degrees zooming in on the soles of the suit's feet. An angry orange layer covered the right heel.

Sleep would have to wait after all. "FRI, get that suit back out here."

#

Peter's eyes were heavy, his entire body was. Heavy as in it felt like he would need a crane to move even a single limb. He did feel exhausted, but he just couldn't find any sleep.

"You want some water?"

Pepper had been right by his side, an arm around him as she led him back to the room. He had slipped back under the covers but the bed felt cold. Not the nice kind of cold, not a cooling sensation that should be pleasing on a hot August day. No, the kind that made your arms and legs go stiff, the kind that made him shiver a bit.

"It'll be a long day, darling. Just try to get some sleep for now, okay?"

He nodded, eyes still open. Sleep. Sleep had never seemed further from his reach. It felt like he hadn't done anything but sleep for at least a week, if not longer. He was wide awake. Had been, for hours now, though he had tried. Earlier, when Mr. Stark had pulled him close. First, the man's heartbeat had been distracting, erratic, and panic-driven. Gradually, it had changed to a still elevated frequency that resembled the beat Peter hadn't even known he was craving. Not until the man had fallen asleep, had his pulse returned to that strong steady rhythm, to that signature rhythm of his mentor. But not even that had been enough to lull Peter under. While it had helped relax his tensed up body, it had given room for his thoughts to wander and they hadn't gone anywhere good. He had just lain there, holding onto Mr. Stark for dear life, his mind never shutting up.

"Hey, are you okay?"

He looked up at Pepper, her forehead pulled into a frown. "Yeah," he whispered. "I'm... I'm fine."

She crooked her head a bit, the frown only deepening. He couldn't blame her. He had said those words so many times over the last 24 hours, they had lost all meaning. Her attention was pulled away from him for just a moment as she swiped away the vibrations of her watch. Before she could say anything else, he turned a bit onto his back, careful not to disturb his left arm.

"You... you don't have to sit with me. I'm... I'm not gonna... gonna go anywhere, I—"

She reached for his hand. "That's not why I'm here. I don't want you to be alone after... after everything. Tony doesn't want you to be alone."

"I'm fine." Peter grimaced at his own words. "I... I mean, I'm good. You can... you should check on him, not me. He... He's not been sleeping. You should have just left—" He shook his head, looking away from her.

Pepper stayed silent, at least she didn't try to contradict him. Mr. Stark was exhausted, he could tell. He hadn't seen the man this frantic, not in a long time if ever. Maybe that was what had made him lie. Just the desire not to add on, not to make this even worse. Well, he hadn't lied. Not... not outright, just... no, they had a deal. Lying by omission was not okay, they had agreed. Months ago.

"Darling, what happened? Did you need something? Were you looking for Tony? Do you... do you want me to—" Pepper stopped, irritably dismissing another notification that had popped up on her watch.

"No, I..." Peter turned his head into the cushion. He didn't know what he had been thinking, didn't really know what he would have done, but there was just such a strong urge in his every cell for him to do something. Anything. An urge not to be so useless. "I know you're busy. I'll just... I'm okay here."

She had a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. "We're here for you. Just... you can talk to me. To Tony. Any of us, okay? Anytime."

Peter nodded, his head buried between the pillows.

"Anything you need. Anything you want. You just tell me. Or you tell Tony."

Peter huffed out a low breath. "Anything..." he whispered.

"Yes." There was a beat of silence before she added, "Anything that's in our power."

Peter swallowed hard, his eyes almost entirely obstructed by fabric. Anything. He wasn't surprised when Pepper scooched a little closer, one arm wrapped around his shoulder. He didn't even hesitate, just turned towards her and leaned on her, not just to hide his face but because it felt good. Safe.

Anything. He didn't even know what he wanted. For things to go back to the way they were? That would be a lie. As much as he was battling with everything that was happening around him, how out of control he felt, he couldn't deny that he was craving the protection Mr. Stark was offering. Pepper, Rhodey, all of this. There was a sense of safety despite everything that he couldn't deny. A sense of comfort and... and belonging. He didn't want to lose Mr. Stark. He didn't want to lose Pepper, either. It felt right with her right there next to him. It had felt just as right with Mr. Stark there. Calming words, no matter how agitated the man himself had seemed. There was no reason to think that Mr. Stark had any other motive than to truly keep him safe. Peter did believe that and that was part of what he feared most, for one thing Mr. Stark had already proven: there was no telling what he would be capable of in order to protect Peter. Aiden. Him. And this wasn't just about him. There was May and it wasn't fair that he could be safe like this while she... while she wasn't. While her life was ruined.

His teeth cut into the insides of his cheeks, painfully. He didn't want to lose her either. He didn't want to lose that life either. "Pepper?" his voice was low, shaky.

"I'm right here, darling."

Peter pulled in a breath. Then another one. "You think... you think I could call... call a friend?"

She squeezed his shoulder. "A friend?"

"Yeah... a friend. My friend. Ned, he... he's a friend from school."

She shifted a little next to him. "I'll talk to Tony. I'm sure we can make that happen." Her arm was still around him and she hesitated to let go of him. "Does he know? Your friend? About... about your abilities?"

Peter shook his head, still leaning against her.

"I'll talk to Tony and—" She sighed heavily as the watch around her wrist vibrated once again. "I will have to take care of this. Get some sleep, darling. I'll be back with some breakfast before Tony takes you to the Compound."

She gave his shoulder another squeeze, pulled the sheet up around him as he settled back onto his pillow, and made for the door, leaving Peter alone with his thoughts.

It was in an attempt to drown those out that he kept listening for what was happening beyond his door. The penthouse was quiet, safe for Pepper's voice occasionally echoing through the walls as she was on the phone to the lawyers, to the press, asking FRIDAY to take some notes. He only ever caught snippets of her conversations, feeling guilty for listening in as much as he was curious about what was happening beyond the walls of the Tower. He got up at some point, peering out of the window. There wasn't all that much traffic around the Tower, he didn't even see any press though Pepper had had some strong words on the phone about camera crews camping out in front of their doors. But then his window wasn't facing the main entrance, it was looking out to the South over lower Manhattan. More than 50 blocks separated him from the hospital where they kept May at. It was just before 6 am and the sky to his left was steadily brightening. He couldn't really see the hospital building hidden among the skyscrapers on the southern tip of the Island, but he stayed on the ledge of the window nonetheless, staring down as the city was slowly coming to life.

#

"You were gonna go to bed!" Pepper's voice was sharp, spiked with disappointment.

"I know." He had a strong urge to turn away from her, to hide his face. She was right of course, but this had been more important. "I was. But then—"

"Tony, please... You can't keep doing this. You'll break under all this stress and then what?"

"I just came down here to... to put some things away. I didn't realize, I..." He shook his hand, his fingers rubbing the low throbbing of his temple away. "I just... I got sidetracked." Tony blew out a slow breath and faced her. "Were you with the kid? Is he alright?"

Pepper bit her lip, hesitating.

"Is... is he not?" Tony's eyes went wide. He stepped closer to her. "What happened? What—"

"No, it's not— nothing happened. I just... I had to leave, I... I had a couple of calls waiting. He's okay. I think. He's in his room."

Tony swallowed hard but nodded. He could only hope that Pepper didn't notice how strongly his hands were trembling.

"What happened last night?" Her eyes were on him, searching his face. "I woke up and—"

"He tried to... he wanted to see May Parker. Had... He wanted to... to rescue her I guess and—"

"Oh... oh my god!" She stepped a little closer, sheer terror on her face.

"I talked to him. I stopped him." The panic on Pepper's face didn't help battle his own feelings. "Told him we're trying. That you had the lawyer file a request."

"But... but what if we can't? What if—"

"I told him we're trying and... and we are."

Pepper's breaths were shaky, her face pale. She might have gotten more rest than he had over the last week but she didn't really look like she was on top of her game either. Tired and scared. Unsure what would happen to them. Just like he was.

"He asked me if he can call his friend."

Tony frowned. "Ned?"

"Yeah." Her hand was on his arm, warm on his skin. "You know him?"

"Of him." He only shrugged. "The kid talks a lot if you let him."

Her teeth grazed over her lower lip as she waited for him to continue.

"Having him call his friend won't magically make things okay with him craving to go and see May Parker."

"I know that," she whispered. "He's just so lost."

"He's scared." Tony cleared his throat. "He has every reason to be."

"I know that, honey." Her voice was still low, full of exhaustion. "Maybe it'll help, make him feel better? Help him think of something else for a change?"

Tony blew out a breath. "I'll look into it." Chances were all the kid wanted was a phone back in his hands, a looking glass to the outside world. The last thing they needed was the kid being riled up by the bullshit the papers would be feasting on over what was happening around him. "I need another hour. Then I'll lay down. I promise."

"You're supposed to leave for the Compound at noon."

Tony nodded and ignored the tone of her voice that so clearly said that less than 4 hours of rest wasn't enough. "And we will. The kid will be out all afternoon after the procedure so I'll have time then to—"

"To sleep." Her eyebrows were pulled together closely.

"Right." He blew out a long breath. "We just need a little time. Some room to breathe."

"I know. I'm working on that."

"Right." Even to himself, he sounded defeated. "Any words from the lawyers yet about that hospital visit?"

"No, not about that. Prosecution reached out though. They are building their case against May Parker, asking for our input."

"Okay." The thought made his stomach turn. It wasn't even that he wanted to make the woman pay for everything she had done. Maybe a small part of him... one he was careful to lock away.

"I told Brian to keep them waiting. That we need time and are focused on Addy's recovery right now."

"That's... yeah, that sounds about right."

They stood close to each other for another moment, then Pepper's hand wandered down from his arm to grab his hand, squeezing it. "I was thinking about her last night. About what she did. How she... how she had Addy hidden all this time."

"Pep..." He pulled her close, pressed his lips against the side of her face. "Like you said, we're focusing on the kid right now. On Addy. Everything else—"

"No, that's not—" She pushed herself off just far enough to look him in the eye. "It's what kept him alive. All this time. It's why Barnes never came after him before. Because she was hiding him in her son's place."

Tony tilted his head little, but not looking away from her.

"She saved him, too. He'd be dead without her."

His left hand was still firmly enclosed by hers as he reached up with the other one, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "That's a very charitable way of looking at things, Pep."

"I know." She pursed her lips, then swallowed hard. "It's not wrong though, is it?"

Tony hesitated, hoping his voice wouldn't crack. "It's not why she hid him."

"Maybe not." She leaned in, her lips almost close enough to touch his. "Maybe it's enough to forgive her though."

Tony grimaced, averting his eyes at last. "Forgive her..." He struggled not to push himself away, not to close himself off from her. "I'm nowhere near forgiveness, Pep." The hand that wasn't holding hers had settled on her hip, holding onto her.

"I know, honey." She nodded, her eyes still searching his face. "Me neither."

"He'd be dead without her," Tony whispered, closing his eyes as he leaned into her embrace.

"He'd be dead without her," she whispered back.

###

[auhtor's note: Shorter chapters usually only mean I'm splitting chapters into two that have gotten a little too long to post in one go, so the next one shouldn't be far out ;)

Thank you as always for following the story and the lovely comments! I do love them and they are an incredible motivator :D]