A/N – I didn't realize til now that I've been writing this thing for over 4 years. You guys that write 100k plus words in like a month, how the hades do you do it? Like seriously. Alrighty, so it's the moment we've all been waiting for. Please be gentle with me, it's only the second smut scene I've ever written. My first was a Rickyl scene for a one shot and it turned out better than I thought. This one is different though, I'm trying to find my feet in it. I hadn't originally planned to write this whole thing out, but it just kinda came out. One more disclaimer here: I don't own anything Shinedown or written by Brent Smith. So yeah, two chapters at once, so be sure you've read Chapter 29 before this and enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Chapter 30

It's been two weeks since "The Incident" as Bella called it in her mind. They were preparing for Christmas now. It was a foreign concept to Bella who had never had a chance or reason to celebrate the holiday. Sure she had seen the specials on television, sat in the corner during numerous classroom celebrations as other children laughed and played. But it had never been celebrated in her house. There was no tree, no presents, no visits from St. Nick for her. Just about the only thing she ever got for Christmas was a black eye one year from a drunk boyfriend of her mother's or a day of utter abandonment, left alone to curl up in a blanket in peace and quiet.

So when Kenny and Ellie started asking about a tree and decorations and cookies, Bella was really lost. She turned to the woman who was the be all and end all of anything social or celebration related: Gemma Morrow. They helped setup a tree in the Winston house, roped Jax and Opie into hanging lights on the outside, and even made a wreath for the front door. It was the same at her own house, Chibs laughing the entire time they decorated the tree. They spent that evening together, Chibs taking occasional shots of Jameson while they strung a freshly cut spruce with multicolored lights and brand new ornaments Bella had picked out. There was a Fat Santa ornament and some candy canes. There was also a Harley motorcycle and a Reaper that had been gifted by Gemma. They stayed up late that night, talking in the dim light of the tree. Her first real Christmas.

It still hit her at odd times that she actually had a family she could depend on. People that cared about her and how she felt, her health and happiness. Several months into living in Charming, it was still surreal. But she just took it one day at a time and savored every moment.

Now there was her night with Opie. Kenny had finally recuperated to their satisfaction when Gemma had demanded they have their previously canceled alone time. The older woman had known what Bella had gone through to get to the point where she even considered having sex with her old man. It was way past due, at least according to Gemma. And you don't argue with Gemma, not that Bella had any desire to do that.

So tonight, Ellie and Kenny were safely ensconced in Gemma's sofa with mugs of hot chocolate and a bowl full of popcorn between them while they watched The Polar Express, not a care in the world. Bella, on the other hand, was lighting a candle on the kitchen table as she set out a nice steak dinner with baked potato and some green beans (which she didn't figure he would eat, but they were worth a shot anyways). Opie had been at TM most the day before he had an errand to run for the club. She knew he would clean up at the clubhouse before coming home as he usually did. So she anticipated surprising him with dinner and a bit of… dessert after.

Bella smoothed down the front of the little black dress she wore in anticipation of the night to come. She was ready, she knew he was ready, but now the time was here and her nerves were on fire with anticipation. She heard the doorknob rattle a bit as Opie came in the house. Turning towards door, Bella smiled at the shocked expression on her old man's face. It was nice to surprise him every once in a while.

"Whoa," Opie was completely shocked. He never anticipated something like this. "Uh, wow, yeah. You look…" There were no words to describe her beauty at this moment. Her hair was light waves down her back and her brown eyes shown with happiness at his entry. Her dress was fitted to the waist where it flared slightly. He took in her bare legs and feet and smiled softly at her pink painted toes. Sometimes her girly couldn't be contained.

Bella ducked her head shyly and smiled. "Come on, I've made dinner. The kids are at Gemma's. Dad is out somewhere. It's just you and me tonight." She said the last part quietly, hoping he got the hint without her having to spell it out to him. Apparently he did as he beamed at her before leaning down to give her a lingering kiss.

"Oh really? A house all to ourselves? Whatever shall we do?" he said with a chuckle. Bella's cheeks flamed to life as she lightly smacked his chest. Opie shrugged off his kutte and hung it over the back of his chair and then sat, Bella on his right. He took her hand for a moment, giving it a light squeeze before picking up his silverware and cutting into his steak. She waited, her lip bit in anticipation as he took his first bite of steak. A low moan from his throat made her sigh in relief. Bella had never attempted anything like this before so she was unsure how it would taste. Finally, she picked up her own silverware and began to eat.

Conversation was light throughout dinner. They talked about the kids, the garage, Chibs' budding relationship with the elusive Christine. Her father had told Bella about taking the Christine to the diner and how they had got along quite well. They had met up a few more times since then, though he was hesitant to bring her around the club. It wasn't that he was ashamed or anything, but they really were a lot to take in, especially for an "outsider" as Gemma liked to call them. It was nice that her father had someone he could talk to outside of the club though. Someone that he could just let himself go around.

Soon, the food was gone and the one glass of wine Bella had allowed herself was drunk. Opie polished of his beer and took her hand. "Thank you," he said sincerely. Bella just looked confused for a moment. "I was… lost for so long. After spending time inside and then what went down with Donna, I had no idea where I was going, what I was even doing. Everything that I had planned was gone to shit. Those kids deserved so much more than I was giving them. I practically ignored them." He smiled and caressed her cheek lightly, leaning closer to her. "But then, this little waif of a girl shows up, with shy smile and big, curious eyes and turns everything upside down. And not just for me, for all of us."

Bella ducked her head shyly, but Opie tilted it back up with his knuckle. "I know you don't believe it, but Bella, you are everything I could have ever imagined. You have been through so much hurt and heartache, but you have come through the other side and made a life here. You showing up here was a wakeup call for all of us to remind us what our brotherhood should be about. I know we deal on the not so legal side of the law, but you take it all in stride and support us." Opie stroked his fingers down her red cheek. "Thank you. Thank you for just being you."

She smiled at him timidly before leaning close to give him a small kiss, which lead to a deeper kiss. They paused for breath and Opie rose to his feet. Taking her hand, he pulled her as well and into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him back to her lips. If there was one thing that she thought she could do forever, it was kiss Opie. He was dominant, taking charge and leading her through her inexperience. She sighed as he pulled away only to squeal as he grabbed her by the thighs and brought her up his body so their faces were level. He just stared into her eyes, looking for something, some reluctance or indication he was moving too fast. But there was nothing there but acceptance and anticipation.

He carried her down the hall and laid her on the bed. Bella bit her lip as she watched him strip down to his boxer briefs. He really was a beautiful specimen with his broad shoulders and solid build. She admired his tattoos for their intricacy and beauty: The Redwood Original on his right shoulder, the, the Latin on his left forearm, and the scrolling words across his chest. Her eyes traced of the Reaper guarding his heart and down his body. He was a large man for sure and she could tell from the bulge in his underwear that his bulk was all around. He smirked at her wide eyes, knowing exactly what she was looking at. He climbed on the bed beside her and stroked her hair out of her face. "You know we don't have to do anything." Bella began to shake her head, but he gently grasped her chin. "No, Bella. I'm serious. This is not a deal breaker for me. I love you and yes I want you more than I can put into words. But this is ultimately up to you. You're in control, you're in charge." It was something that they had talked about previously, her lack of control. It was sometimes overwhelming for her to have to make decisions because she hadn't had so many choices before. He wanted to assure her that this was all her, her decision.

So she made it.

Sitting up on her knees, Bella grasped the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head. She knew she was young and not nearly as curvy or well-endowed up top as the girls that frequented the clubhouse. But she was a lot more confident in her body than she was when she first arrived in Charming. Clad only in her black lace bra and panties, she leaned into Opie, placing her lips on his. He groaned as he grasped her hips, pulling her body into his. The skin on skin contact made Bella gasp. It was heat and slick with the beginnings of sweat and just perfect.

His hand traced up her back to her bra, expertly unclipping it. She leaned back a little and dropped her arms letting the lace fall from her skin. Opie admired her for a moment, eyes lingering on her hardening nipples before he kissed her again, trailing his lips down her neck. As he reached her chest, he laid her back on to the bed, her head resting on the pillows. He looked into her eyes as he began to lay soft kisses on her left breast as his fingers trailed the same path around her right. Bella's eyes shut and she grasped at his hair, pulling gently as he continued his ministrations. He sucked the nipple into his mouth, giving a gentle nip. She gasped and pulled his head closer to her breast, feeling more than hearing his chuckle in response.

Opie moved his lips across her skin to the other side of her chest, laving the same attention onto it as he did the left. She continued to gasp and make little noises in her throat that had him groaning in response. His lips left her breast to trace down her stomach to her belly button. She giggled as he kissed there, dipping his tongue down in it. His fingers ran around the hem of her panties as he looked up at her with a questioning look. She bit her lip and nodded at him, giving in to the last of her desires. He leaned up slightly as he grasped the waistband and pulled them gently down her legs. She tilted her bottom up to let him get them off her, grateful for Gemma's teasing advice about how a "good trim was good for the soul".

Lifting her left leg first, he kissed his way up her leg to where her thigh met her hip, paying special attention to the little ticklish spot behind her knee. Bella tensed as she anticipated his mouth touching the juncture between her thighs. But he skipped right past it, kissing down her other leg. She almost groaned in disappointment at that but when his fingers touched her exactly where she wanted, she exhaled in surprise. No one had ever touched him there, not even Opie. He had always been so gentle with her, keeping his hands to himself, except her ass. He seemed to love that.

But now he was touching her, finding her clit quickly and making her almost jump of the bed. He chuckled as he leaned back over her body, keeping his touches gentle. He needed her to have this, to feel the completion before they went any further. So he gently stroked her outside, stimulating her before he slipped a finger inside. She tensed up slightly at the intrusion before relaxing and enjoying the movements of his hand. He grabbed her head pulled her into a deep, needy kiss as he continued working her up to…something she couldn't describe even if her brain was threatening to pop out of her head. He added another finger, stretching her deliciously as the pressure in her lower stomach built and built. He applied his thumb to her clit and she exploded, pulling her lips away from him to gasp and moan and mewl as her orgasm washed over and over her body.

Opie smirked as he watched come down from what he knew was her first ever orgasm. And he gave it to her. Yeah, he was a bit smug about that. He eased his fingers out of her and stroked her side, placing sweet kisses along her neck. She pulled his face back to hers kissing him hungrily. He leaned over her as her hands trailed down his side making him shiver as she stopped at his waistband, caressing the skull on his hip. Just another piece of art on his body she loved. He pulled back to look in her eyes, giving a slight nod. Bella trailed her hand inside the waistband and began to pull them down. She worked them as far she could, nervously pulling them over his firm erection. From there, Opie kicked them off and settled himself between her spread thighs. She gasped at the initial contact of his body on hers and his solid cock between her thighs and truly felt the weight of the man she loved on her. It was slightly scary but comforting at the same time. He reached for the nightstand to retrieve a condom, but Bella stopped him.

Nervously, she answered the unasked question in his eyes. "I… I know you're clean, we've talked about that before. But I… got the shot last month. And I only have to get it every three months. I suck at remembering to take pills and stuff like that. So, you don't have to if you don't want to and I kinda wanna feel it all. But if you want, you can use one, or whatever." Bella closed her eyes tightly as she babbled. But she needed to get that out there. Opie just smiled and kissed her surprised lips.

"If you're sure, I am too." Her eyes widened and she smiled at him before pulling him into a breath stealing kiss. He leaned back lightly, their height difference making it a little more difficult, but not impossible. He spread her legs a little more before lining himself up to her entrance. Opie glanced at her face one more time for reassurance before starting to push in. She of course tensed up again, but quickly relaxed on her own. He eased his way inside of her, taking everything inside himself to keep from just slamming in to her hot heat. He watched her face closely and knew he had come to and broken her barrier when he saw her wince a little a bit.

He leaned over, showering her face and hair with kisses as he stopped, fully seated within her and letting her adjust to him. Studying her face he could see her contemplating the feel of him. It was foreign and now that the initial pain had subsided, it was comforting. Something she really never expected. She sighed into him and moved her hips slightly. That was all the invitation he needed to pull back slightly and stroke back in.

The room was dark and soon became stifling as the heat from their bodies warmed it quickly. December in California was cool, but not as cold as some places Bella had lived. But as she learned to move with Opie and the friction grew, their craving for each other became uncontainable and the heat of the room grew to almost a summer feeling. He was gentle with her to start, building speed as they coordinated their movements by instinct. They raced to some kind of finish line, every stroke drawing them closer together than ever before. He pulled her right leg higher up his hip, hitting a spot deeper inside that dragged a long moan from between her lips. He kept pace as her hands drifted across his sides and torso, occasionally leaving red scratches. Her breath started to come in gasps and pants as Opie moaned above her. She felt his grip on her thigh grow tighter as his desire spiraled higher along with hers. Her nails dug into his side as finally, something snapped inside them both at the same time as they shouted each other's name in ultimate pleasure.

Opie buried his face in Bella's neck as he panted his exhaustion. It was nothing like he had experienced before, not even in the height of his "love" for Donna. Feeling this connection, this love with this tiny slip of a girl in his arms was everything he wanted and so much more.

For her part Bella was drifting in a pleasurable haze. She had no idea that it would feel this way, especially her first time. She felt like she had hit a cloud and she had zero desire to come back down. She clamped her arms around Opie's back, not willing to let him move a centimeter quite yet. The weight of his body on her was comforting, bringing her back to earth.

Heaving a sigh, Opie pulled his face up to hers, placing a lingering kiss on her lips. Bella whimpered as he pulled himself from her body and laid on his side facing her. He pulled her to her side facing him and just stared for a moment stroking her cheek. He was unable to believe that this woman, this strong, amazing, beautiful, compassionate woman wanted such a fuckup as him. This was what his life was supposed to feel like. Happiness in work, with his club, his children thriving, and woman to match his spirit by his side. It was in that moment that he knew, for sure and far beyond anything he ever felt before, that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for this woman. He would keep her by his side, forever.

-00000-

That same night, Leah was rocking Abel in the nursery. He had just finished his bottle and was drifting as his eye were closing and opening, fighting his sleep. Leah was humming a song under her breath as she patted his bottom gently. She was completely unaware of the presence in the doorway, watching her intently. Jax knew that she would be a natural at this, but what he hadn't counted on was the way his son had completely attached himself to the beauty before him. She was so gentle with him, giving him love and attention, talking with him and showing him new things. When she set him in his bouncy seat or laid him in his crib, Abel's eyes would follow her, watching and learning everything she did. It made Jax's heart ache in a way that shocked him. As he stood there now, just watching them interact and bond, he knew that he would do everything in his power to keep things the way they were for as long as he possibly could.

Abel finally gave it up and fell into a deep sleep. Leah rose from the chair and laid him in his crib, stroking his soft hair and cut the dim lamp next to the bed on. She turned to the now empty doorway, turning off the other lights and closed the door most of the way. Yawning, she turned down the hallway to the bedroom she now shared with Jax. It still amazed her how easily she had fallen into a life with him. She still had job working at the diner, trading days off with Gemma and the sitter, Neeta, but refusing to work night shifts. She loved those moments when it was just the two of them and she was able to comfort him into sleep. It had come on suddenly, the moment she knew she would do anything for that boy. It was different from when he was in the hospital and under the doctors' care. Now, he was there, real and completely dependent upon her and Jax primarily. And she would not fail him.

The shower was running when she entered the bedroom, but turned off as she made her way to the bathroom door. A moment later, Jax stepped out with a towel around his waist, another in his hand running over his long blond hair. Leah had to bite her lip as her eyes raked over his body, his new Abel tattoo shining brightly on his chest. He smirked at her knowing exactly where her thoughts were going. That's one thing they never lacked, a driving sex life and chemistry that could blow the roof off the house, though they toned the volume down now that Abel was home.

"What was that song you were humming in there?" He asked her. It sounded familiar to him, but he couldn't quite place it.

Leah blushed. She had never really sung in front of anyone. She knew she was ok, but it was not something she ever put any real effort into. "Oh, just a song. The Crow and the Butterfly by Shinedown."

Jax raised an eyebrow at the title. "So am I the crow and you're my butterfly? Are you going to let me catch you?"

Leah just rolled her eyes at him. "No, it's not like that. It's…" Leah hesitated. She knew this was a touchy subject to the Teller family as hit so close to home. She had already had a conversation with Gemma about the song and she didn't want to dive into any painful history with Jax right now when she was so content. But she pushed on. "It was actually written by the lead singer of Shinedown. It was based on a dream he had about a mother losing her daughter right before her son was born. It's about how she dealt with that loss."

Jax's eyes widened at that. He'd have to listen to this song. And he had a thought. "Has my mom heard you humming it?"

Leah nodded at that as she recalled the conversation she had with Gemma the other day.

Flashback

Leah was singing quietly in the kitchen as she rocked Abel back and forth in her arms. There was a gentle knock on the door right before it opened letting Gemma into the house. Leah continued her rocking and singing.

Just like a crow chasing a butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies.
And you and I were getting high as outerspace
Never thought you'd slip away
Guess I was just a little too late.

Abel's eyes closed and Leah walked to his room to lay him the crib. She picked up the baby monitor and walked back to the kitchen where Gemma was pouring a cup of coffee. "Sure, help yourself" she said sarcastically.

Gemma just snorted. "What was that song you were singing?"

Leah hesitated before explaining the song's name and meaning. She caught the slight gasp from Gemma and the tightness around the older woman's eyes. She knew she had hit a nerve with that one.

"Well, that's a bit morbid now isn't it?" Gemma's hands tightened around the coffee cup, defenses going up.

"Well, yes and no." Gemma just rose one perfectly manicured eyebrow at her. "Yes, it's about a mother dealing with the loss of her child, but it's also about healing and how she overcame everything. She never thought she would lose her, but she was able to move on and treasure all the moments she had with her. I think it's beautiful, especially when you hear it with full orchestra and everything else."

Gemma hummed as she sat at the table. This was something she had personal experience with of course. She wasn't sure how much Leah knew about it though. "Well, sometimes it's not entirely easy. Even many years later."

Leah joined her at the table and just glanced at her before returning her eyes to the coffee in hands. "Yeah. I know it's not quite the same, but growing up watching how devastated Charlie was over Bella was really hard on his friends, especially my dad. There would be times I'd wake up and see him standing in my doorway just staring at us, making sure we were there."

Gemma nodded. That was a feeling she knew so well. "When my Thomas…" she paused, taking a shuddering breath. She wasn't used to feeling this vulnerable, but it was something that needed to be said. "After my Thomas passed, I would spend hours just watching Jax, making sure he was ok. His heart healed from the CHD, but my Thomas… He never really got healthy. It was too much for him. But I'd watch Jax, make sure he was breathing, that he lived. It took me a month to even go back in to Thomas' bedroom at our house." She sipped her coffee, taking a second to gather her thoughts.

Leah watched the older woman through her lashes. This was something she had never expected. Sure they had been getting along much better since she had moved in with Jax. But she never thought they would be sharing their innermost thoughts. She just let Gemma compose herself.

"JT had kind of… checked out I guess. Things were tense all around. He had already been spending more and more between here and Ireland. I know he was shacking up with a woman over there, Maureen." Gemma heaved a big sigh. Her suspicions about John's actions in Ireland were spot on as she learned after his death. "His downward spiral affected us all. I broke one night. He was gone, Jax was with Opie. They were 12 year old kids, I couldn't lean on him. He had his own pain he was trying to deal with. It was actually the first time since Tommy's death that I let him out of my sight and it made me more than a little paranoid."

Gemma reached in her purse for a pack of cigarettes. Leah leaned over and opened the window next to the table to let the smoke out. Gemma just smirked at her as she lit up, taking a long drag and exhaling towards the window. "So I was alone and decided it would be a great idea to go into Tommy's room. I… I broke. I wept. I got pissed. I raged at God, at my mother, at JT, no one was safe from it. Eventually, I pulled everything off the wall. Wrapped the pictures up and put 'em in a box. Pulled all the curtains from the windows and sheets off the bed, emptied the dresser and closet into more boxes." She continued smoking for a moment before continuing. "Then I found some paint in the garage. Basic white. Tommy hated that color because it reminded him of the hospital. His walls were blue, Deep Marine I think it was called. It was his favorite because it was soothing and so different from what he saw at St. Thomas. So I pulled the furniture out and painted those walls. I was up all night working on it. I just couldn't stop."

Silence reigned for a few moment as Gemma remembered that night. She knew it was manic, absolutely crazy to spend an entire night packing up a room and painting it. But it felt right at the time. It needed to be done and yeah she could've waited for someone. But she was his mother. It was ultimately her responsibility.

"Jax was pissed at first. He didn't understand why it felt like I had just erased Tommy from our home. But I had left their pictures together up in the hallway and on the mantle. I just couldn't bear to have his full room set up like he was just going to come home. Because he never would."

Leah placed a hand over Gemma's and gave her a light squeeze. She knew what it took for her to admit this. "Thank you."

Gemma snorted again and shook her head. "Well, it helped for a day. And the day after it hurt. But then it'd be okay for a while. It would come and go, the regret and the peace. It's 20 years on and I still look at that room sometimes with regret. That's why it's just a guest room. I won't let any of my family sleep in there."

Leah nodded and took her last sip of coffee. She rose and rinsed her cup in the sink and put it in the washer. As she passed by, Leah pat Gemma's back in solidarity and left her with her thoughts to go get the laundry started. It was gonna be another quiet day.

End Flashback

Jax wrapped his arms around Leah and gave her a soft kiss. They rocked together a few moments, just enjoying the embrace and each other. He wasn't sure what his mother told her, but it was between the two ladies. At least they weren't at each other's throats. He couldn't ask for more than that.