Chapter 30
Nephrite found Makoto exactly where he expected to Sunday afternoon, warming up at the boxing gym. Without thinking twice, he walked up behind her, spun her around, bent her back, and kissed her hard. She only struggled for a second before she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding tight to him, returning his kiss with the same enthusiasm. When he finally stood her back up, and released her, he smiled because she seemed a bit shaky.
"Hello there gorgeous." Nephrite said.
"Hi there handsome." Makoto replied breathlessly.
Without another word they warmed up, and began to spar. As they sparred Nephrite couldn't help what was running thru his mind. After 30 minutes he decided to broach the subject.
"How come you haven't asked about what happened?" Nephrite asked as he blocked a kick.
"Because I don't believe in living in the past." Makoto answered as she blocked his punch.
"So you don't want to know what happened?"
"I don't need to."
"You don't?"
"No."
"Why is that?"
"Because all that I need to know is you were taken, possessed by evil, and had no control over anything after that. Specifics serve no purpose in the present. Especially when those specifics are years in the past."
"And if I wanted to talk about it?"
"I would listen, talk, and help you thru it."
"You would?"
"Of course. Neph, I don't need the details, but I would never turn you away if you need or want to talk about them. That's all part of a relationship."
"Is that what we have here, a relationship?"
"I would like to think so. Otherwise I'm gonna light your ass up for that kiss."
"No need as I would like to think we have a relationship here too."
"Good thing. So do YOU want to talk about it?"
"Yes. Just not here."
"My place after this?"
"I would love to."
"Good. Now pay attention because I'm kicking your ass."
He chuckled because she literally got under his guard, and landed a swift kick to his ass. He came around quick, grabbed her leg, rolled her down to the mat, and landed on top of her. He quickly brushed a kiss to her lips then popped back up.
They spent another hour or so sparring before they quit. After they both cleaned up, and changed they went to the store so Makoto could get supplies to cook with then they went to her apartment. Like usual he wandered around, looking at things then sat at the island.
"What are you baking today?" Nephrite asked as he watch Makoto put stuff away.
"A lemon meringue pie for dessert, but I want to try my hand at a recipe I found. It's Italian, called lasagna." Makoto answered.
"Never heard of it."
"It's wide noodles cooked with a cheese mixture, and sauce between."
"Hmm. Sounds interesting."
"I thought so too."
"If you're making it, I'm sure it will be amazing."
Makoto shook her head, and started in on her pie. He watched her work for awhile, in silence. He was trying to order his thoughts, and figure out what to say. Finally he just let it all poor out. She listened in silence about what he and Zoisite discovered when they arrived at the battle, the chaos, the mess. Him questioning his own ability to understand what he was seeing. He went into detail of his capture, and how he felt. When he finished talking he looked at her, and saw she was crying.
"Makoto, don't cry." Nephrite quietly as he leaned across the counter, and wiped her tears away.
"I can't help it. Hearing the man I love went through that, is hard not to cry about." Makoto responded.
"I guess."
"Imagine if the situation was reversed."
"I get it."
"Explain to me the guilt you said you feel. It wasn't you. You were possessed and controlled."
"Mentally I know that, but where the problem comes in is that in memories and nightmares it's still my hands. It's me doing it. That's where it gets tough to separate."
"I can't imagine. Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Why were you all sent separately?"
"That was the king's doing. He under estimated the enemy, massively. Kunzite spent two day arguing with the king about sending the 4 of us together into battle. The king wouldn't listen, and even threatened to demote Kunzite if he didn't follow orders."
"I'm not sure it would have made a lot of difference if you had gone together."
"Why do you say that?"
"It took Queen Serenity using the Silver Crystal to lock Metalia away, and it killed the queen. Usagi had to use the Silver Crystal, plus all of our spirits to kill Metalia, and Usagi died from using it."
"She died?"
"We all did."
"Then how…."
"The Silver Crystal."
"Wow!"
"It's a great weapon to have, but at a high cost. We've lost Usa a few times from using it."
"And Mamoru let her use it to bring us back? What was he thinking?"
"She probably didn't need to use the full power as you all were just sleeping. But we have also learned that thru their bond, Mamoru can push power from his Golden Crystal to restore her strength, and energy."
"Oh."
"Yeah. So as I said, you all going together may not have made a difference."
"Do you think I am responsible for my actions?"
"In all honesty, no. You were not in control, and if I understood Ami correctly, the evil energy possessing you completely cut off your memories, and all good emotions. Your guilt is unfounded."
"So how do I eliminate it?"
"I can't answer that, unfortunately. Other than continuing to remind yourself that you were possessed. As well as talking it out."
"How did Mamoru get over it?"
"For months he didn't remember, after that, I don't know."
"He didn't remember?"
"When Usa died she made one wish. That we all live normal lives. The Silver Crystal granted that wish by repressing all of our memories when it reincarnated us. It didn't last though. When we were needed again, it all came back. It took Mamoru falling in love with Usa again for him to remember."
"Maybe the Silver Crystal should have done that for us."
"You don't want that, believe me."
"Why?"
"A couple of reasons actually. First, it repressed ALL memories, good and bad. Second, it constantly felt like there was something I should remember, but it was always just out of reach. It was frustrating."
"There are no good memories during that time."
"It doesn't pinpoint a certain time. It's represses everything. You wouldn't even remember me or anything about us."
"But it would have given us a fresh start."
"Not really because I would still remember."
"I didn't think of that."
"Yeah. It would be frustrating."
"I can see that."
"Plus you would be confused by the pull toward me, and try to avoid it. That's what happened with Usa and Mamoru for the first 6 months after they met. They fought like cats and dogs because Mamoru was avoiding the pull to her, and lashing out."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Not all it's cracked up to be."
"Maybe not."
Nephrite and Makoto spent awhile longer talking about all that happened. By the time he left, he felt better. He also went home with almost a full pan of lasagna, and a lemon meringue pie for the guys. He was glad he had opened up to Mako. She helped him a lot.