Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine
Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.
Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.
Catherine snapped awake and clung to his chest as she cried, "The shot was from the back!" She shouted but could barely get the words out as she choked and sobbed, "Where were you when I needed you?! You promised you'd have my six!" She gritted her teeth as her tears streamed down her face, "You promised."
"Catherine, wake up." Steve cradled her head against his chest as she cried. "Come on, Cath. Come back to me." He murmured, pushing away his own fear and tears. She was lucid, but Steve wasn't convinced that she was fully conscious.
She shook and trembled as fear and shock cut through her core. Catherine shoved against his chest and pushed him to the other side of the bed. "Just go." Steve scrambled back over the sheets and wrapped his arms around her. She dug her nails into his arm and kicked away from him. Steve hissed in pain but lunged after her anyways. Catherine leapt out of the bed and pressed her back against the wall. "GO!" She shouted as she pointed towards the door.
Steve stood up and took a tentative step towards her. "Catherine, take a deep breath." He took another step as she did so. "Good. Now let it out… slowly." He could see her shaking as she pressed herself further and further into the wall. Whatever hell her mind had tapped into when she was asleep had broken something deep inside her. "Inhale." His voice was firm and reassuring. It was the tone he had practiced for when his team had to conduct hostage rescues. The thing is, the SEALs never taught him how to rescue someone from their own mind. He took another step towards her but paused as she flinched away from him. "Catherine, breathe." He gently commanded.
Her eyes darted across the room as her fight or flight instinct kicked in. He was getting close. Too close. She clenched her hands into fists and swung her elbow as fast as she could at his face. Steve ducked her elbow and blocked her other arm as she took a second swing at him. "Catherine!" He shouted. Steve stumbled backwards as her fist rammed into his gut. Catherine bolted for the door, but Steve was faster. She pushed and fought against his body as he corralled her with his arms and held her still with an iron grip. "Catherine, I've got you. You're safe. Okay? I got you... I've got you." He murmured as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. "Deep breath. You're safe, okay?" He began to slowly rub soothing circles on her back. "Can you talk to me?" He looked down and studied her face.
Catherine's eyes darted around the room before looking up and meeting his gaze. He felt her tense muscles slowly begin to relax as she pushed away from him - gently this time. "I'm sorry." She whispered as her frantic breathing began to slow. "I- I didn't think that would happen… if you were here…" Her face turned a deep shade of red. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to stay." Catherine panicked and covered her mouth when the impending urge to vomit crept up her throat. She turned and quickly walked into the kitchen and hovered over the sink. "It never happened when you stayed here before. I'm... I'm sorry..." She cringed and squeezed her eyes shut. "God, this is humiliating." She whispered.
Steve filled a glass with water and handed it to her. He leaned against the sink and gently rubbed her back. "Is that why you, uh, you wanted me to stay tonight? So you could get some sleep?"
Catherine shrugged, "Something like that…." She looked down in defeat and muttered, "I've just always slept better with you."
He chuckled quietly and trailed his hand down her arm, "That makes two of us." Steve stood in front of her and hooked his fingers into hers. "Catherine, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I didn't call after I found out."
She shook her head and stopped him. "I shouldn't have said that - it was… it was unfair. I, I mean I didn't expect you to just magically appear in Afghanistan… I mean, I hoped… I hoped you would." She closed her eyes to block out the memories. "I wanted you to…"
Steve wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest. For the first time since they had seen each other at the wedding, there was no animosity - no expectations. Just comfort. "Let's go back to bed." He pressed a kiss into her hair. "You'll feel better in the morning." Catherine nodded and followed him back to her bedroom. She didn't protest when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close so that her back was against his chest. She didn't protest when he pushed her hair aside and kissed her neck and shoulder. She didn't protest when his hand rested on the curve of her ass - because he knew that's where she liked it to be. She didn't protest when he whispered, "I got your six." Steve kissed the star tattoo on the back of her neck, "Get some sleep, okay?"
Steve woke up the next morning to the sounds of sizzling bacon and Chicago. He pulled on his cargo pants and stared at Catherine through the door. As he watched her prepare breakfast, he debated between keeping their platonic status quo or greeting her with a kiss the way that he wanted to. They seemed to have made some progress after their roller coaster of a night, but was it enough?
He padded into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Hi." He murmured.
Catherine flinched when his body touched hers, but she immediately relaxed and leaned back into him. "Hi." She smiled.
She had told him that his odds were seventy-thirty. Now was the time to place a bet. Steve dropped his hands to her hips and kissed the exposed skin at the nape of her neck. "How'd you sleep?" He murmured.
She sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Better."
Seventy-five, twenty-five, Steve thought. Best not to push it. "Some of that bacon for me?"
"Maybe." She smiled. "Or maybe not. You know I'm protective of my bacon."
He smirked and stole a strip off of the paper towel lined plate. "I'll take my chances." He winked as he took a bite. "What's that?" He pointed to the CD player in the corner.
"Chicago."
Steve picked up the empty CD case and took a look, "I got that much. I, uh, I thought all you liked was Garth Brooks, Bon Jovi, and Journey."
Catherine looked down in the sink as she washed the frying pan. "My mom used to play it for me when I was a kid…"
"Yeah?" He set down the case and grabbed another strip of bacon. "She a big fan or something?"
She shrugged. "I dunno, actually." She laughed quietly, "When I was a kid, I got really scared one time and she played the vinyl record for me and I calmed down…" She paused washing the pan and leaned against the sink. "And ever since then… whenever I get scared or… or feel like I'm losing touch… I just play it and it just… it helps."
Steve reached into the soapy water and found her hand. "What are you scared of?"
Loving you. "Having you again and then losing you." She confessed. "I… I need you... more than I'd like to admit…"
Eighty-twenty.
Steve rested his forehead on her shoulder. "Cath, you've got nothing to be scared of. I'm right here. You've got me if you want me." He pulled his hands out of the water and wiped them on his cargo pants. "I gotta get back to base for a briefing before we start deployment prep."
"You leave tomorrow, don't you." She sighed.
Steve nodded. "Yeah. I'm uh, I'm staying on base tonight with the team before we fly out in the morning." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. What he wouldn't give for one more night with Catherine- even if that night looked more like an MMA fight than two lovers in bed. Steve yanked on the chain around his neck and unhooked his dog tags. He let one drop off the chain before re-securing the other around his neck and tucking it under his shirt. He held the tag out to her. "Keep it. I've got the picture." He patted the pocket of his cargo pants.
Catherine stared at the dog tag that he had handed her. She flipped it over a few times before taking off her own chain and adding it to her tags.
Ninety-ten.
His smile flickered as he watched her tuck his dog tag underneath her shirt. "If you finish P.T. in time you should come down to the bar tonight. The team'll be there, but I'd uh… I'd like to see you one last time before I ship out." Catherine nodded. Steve gave her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. "Even if you can't make it… I still got your six." He picked up another strip of bacon off the plate and held it up as he let himself out, "Thanks for breakfast."
Catherine stared at the dog tag in her hand. She had been sitting outside the bar for the better part of two hours and still didn't have the courage to go inside. The sun was beginning to drop lower and lower and she was running out of time. She clenched the tag in her fist as she opened the door to her Corvette.
Steve looked up from the pool table as wolf-whistles and catcalls from the bar patrons broke his concentration. He eased up just as Catherine's eyes locked on his. She paused for a moment as they stared at one another. The entire bar seemed to notice because everyone had stopped their raucous carrying on and looked between Steve and Catherine.
Catherine squeezed the dog tag and began walking towards him. Her feet picked up speed as they carried her closer and closer to Steve.
Ninety-five to five, he thought.
Steve set the pool stick aside and caught her waist as she pressed her lips to his.
All or nothing.
Steve cradled her face in his hands as he kissed her back, earning a rousing applause and deafening cheers from the bar. His SEAL team clapped and whooped with the crowd as Steve dipped Catherine backwards before helping her back to her feet again. Catherine smiled against his lips as she slipped the dog tag into his hand. "You know the boys are never gonna let you live this down, Commander."
He chuckled, "I don't care." He pulled a dollar out of his pocket and threw it on the pool table. "I'm out." Steve took her hand, "C'mon."
"Get it, Smooth Dog!" Freddie shouted as Steve and Catherine left the bar.
Catherine laced her fingers into his as they walked down the beach. "We could've stayed at the bar, you know…"
"I'm about to be on a C-130 with them for a buncha hours. I'd rather be out here with you." He brushed his thumb across the top of her hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, uh… You know I… I wanna do right by you this time... So I don't wanna rush things."
She nodded. "Yeah, of course."
Steve sighed, "I want you, but I… I don't want this to be a rushed decision on your part, you know? Just because I'm leaving."
"So… what are you saying?"
He stopped and stood in front of her. His fingers trailed up and down her ribs. "It's not a short deployment, Cath… I'm, uh, I'm lookin' at about eighteen to twenty-four months…" He groaned, "I just don't want you to have to wait for me… Two years? It's a long time and things can change between now and then. It's not like we're even gonna see each other out there because you just came off a tour."
"Yeah…" She nodded. "Our timing kind of sucks."
Steve chuckled. "I'll say." He sat down on the sand and patted the spot beside him. "I really do wanna do right by you this time…" He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "So when I do ask you to be my girl again… if you'll say yes… I don't want it to be for just a couple days here and there once a year."
Catherine leaned into his shoulder. She didn't like his decision, but deep down, she knew it was the right call for both of them. "Okay." She agreed.
He held the dog tag in his hand that she had given to him and ghosted his finger across the name.
ROLLINS, CATHERINE A.
He took off his chain and added it to his tag. Sure, it was against regulation to do such a thing, but if anyone ever found out, it would be because he's dead. Who the hell cares at that point? He gave it a chaste kiss before tucking it back under his shirt.
"So… I'm not your girlfriend." She confirmed.
Steve smirked, "Hey, you're the one who said it first." He grinned and rolled over, settling his knees in the sand on either side of her. "Don't worry." He planted a slow kiss on her lips. He took his time tasting her, memorizing her, savoring her. "As soon as I get the chance…" He kissed again. "I'll change that." Catherine smiled at his promise. "And I'll call. As much as I can." He assured her before kissing her again. "And I'll watch your six." Catherine pulled her phone out of her pocket. Steve whistled, "Look at you, all fancy with your new smartphone."
Catherine laughed, "Just got it today. I still have to figure out how the hell to use it, but…." She pointed the camera at his face. "Smile."
He leaned back and gave her his most endearing, dopey, half-cocked grin. "How's that?"
She looked down at her phone and smiled, "Looks good." She looked out over the ocean as the sun dipped below the horizon. "I should probably be getting home before it gets too dark."
Steve nodded and offered his hand as he stood up. "I should probably head back to base. We're out at first light." They walked back to the bar in silence, but somehow it was comfortable - like it used to be.
Catherine sat on the hood of her Corvette. "I'm gonna miss you."
He chuckled, "I never thought I'd hear you say that again."
"Even if I didn't want to admit it, I would."
Freddie and the rest of his team exited the bar and spotted Steve and Catherine across the parking lot. "Yo! Smooth Dog! We're heading back, 'aight?"
Steve turned his head, "Be right there!" He looked back at Catherine and leaned in, resting his hands on either side of her body. "Can I get a kiss for luck?"
"You don't need luck, Sailor." She grinned.
Steve chuckled and tilted his head, "Can I kiss you just because I want to?"
Catherine nodded. "Yes."
Steve gripped her hips and kissed her slowly. When they finally broke away, he rested his forehead on hers. "I'm gonna miss you." He pecked her lips again. "I'll watch your six." Steve blindly traced the outline of her tattoo. "I promise."
Her fingertips trailed along the stubble on his jaw, "I'll be in your ear. Stay safe, Sailor."
As Steve released her from his grip and leaned back, Freddie walked up and joined them. "See you next time, Rollins." He grinned.
Catherine gave him a quick hug, "When you guys get back and Kelly's here, there's a standing invitation for dinner. Kay?"
"Copy that." Freddie chuckled.
She gave Steve a hug and quick kiss, and Freddie a pat on the arm. "You two stay safe out there. Heard?"
"Copy that." Freddie agreed with a fist bump and a wink. "I'll make sure your boy gets back to you in one piece."
"Hey, you." Steve leaned over the back of the weathered beach chair and rested his chin on top of her head. "Shelby get settled back in okay?"
Catherine nodded. "I think she's glad to be back in her own bed."
He chuckled, "That makes two of us."
"How's everything down at the base?"
Steve nodded. "Good. Everything's good."
Catherine stared out at the water and smiled softly, "It's good to be home." A quiet laugh escaped her lips, "I never thought I'd call this place home… for good. You know?"
He pulled the other chair beside hers and sat down. "Took us a long time to get here."
"You talking about the flight from Montana or us, us?" She laughed.
He shrugged, "Maybe a little bit of both." He reached out and placed his hand on her belly. "But you're the only one I'd chase for twenty years." He offered her a lopsided smirk, "Even if the, uh, the odds were stacked against me."
Catherine laid her hand on top of his as their baby moved. "You've always been good at beating the odds."
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Well! We might actually get through this week without a chapter delay! Things are looking good, so fingers crossed we can stay on track! (Three cheers for time management skills!)
OKAY! SO! First: drop your reactions and feedback in the reviews! I love reading your comments!
Second: I'll do a Q and A at some point within the next few chapters, so if you have questions drop them in the reviews or on Twitter/Instagram (XOMaggieWrites)
Happy Wednesday, loves!
XO,
-Mags-