Warning: this chapter holds descriptions which you may be sensitive to.
Hereafter
Chapter 26.
April 3rd, 2019.
Edward.
I was definitely not ready to wake up when my alarm broke me from my peaceful sleep.
It was eight-thirty, and for the first time in a long time I had finally enjoyed a full night's sleep. One that didn't involve waking up every hour, or constant twists and turns. I hadn't even stepped out of bed and I was already looking forward to returning. It was going to be a long day for us all. Charlie wasn't working until much later which meant that I didn't need to be at the house for nine, but it was my turn to do the grocery shopping, and I had to complete that before our visitor arrived at eleven. We had made a plan of who would look out for Bella and at which time, but the grocery shopping was another major issue. To make it easier for everyone we had made a schedule to take in turns - we would shop twice a week and buy enough food for both households. I had my list planned out which included some of Bella's 'special additions' - she wanted me to buy her some Ben and Jerry's ice cream and Swedish Fish. Who are we to keep that from her?
Once I had showered and eaten breakfast I set off to the store.
Thankfully Thriftway wasn't overly busy, so I had no issue working my way around the store ticking everything off of my list as I went. Because of Bella's food plan we didn't need to plan out any meals, or decide on the spot, however some of the stuff was seriously hard to find. For example, how often do you walk around a store and see açai berries sat on the shelf? I swear some of this stuff doesn't exist. Or if it does then it costs a ridiculous amount of money online.
Oh, never mind - found them!
I had to substitute a few things - meats, for example - but everything else was there, and half an hour after entering the store, I was leaving with a full cart. It was just after ten o'clock, and so I had plenty of time to get to the house, sort out the groceries, and prepare myself mentally for our arrival.
Bella's lawyer was arriving for the first official visit. He had spoken to Charlie briefly over the phone, however today we needed to meet him in person to discuss everything that would happen during the court sentencing. We would discuss what each of us had to say, but mainly what Bella had to say… or, attempt to say. Jason Jenks knew about her struggles and issues, and apparently he had come up with a few options on how to tackle that hurdle. He had been speaking to Angela to get her advice on everything, so we were all interested to hear the ideas.
I made my way into the house and barely had the door closed before Luna bounded over to greet me. She had grown so much recently, but apparently she won't stop growing until she reaches 18 months. No one would be stupid enough to mess with Bella if she has Luna beside her, that is for sure.
"Hey, girl." I gave her ears a good scratch. "C'mon then." As I went towards the kitchen, Luna followed me step-by-step. The kitchen was empty, so I assumed that Charlie and Bella were either upstairs or in the living room. I watched as Luna sniffed around at the back door before sitting back on her hind legs and made soft mewing noises. "Do you need to go?" It was almost like I had expected her to answer me. Surprisingly enough I never received an answer, so I unlocked the door and watched in amusement as she bolted into the back yard.
"Hi Edward." The softest, sweetest voice came from the door to the kitchen. Bella held onto the wall for support and sent me over a smile. She seemed to be in an a good mood, so I prayed to God that it would stay that way. Bella had had her fair share of bad days recently, so she deserved a good one.
"Morning, sweetheart."
On frail legs Bella made her way over to a chair and lowered herself down onto it. "How… are you?"
"I'm alright, but look!" I searched through the various grocery bags before I found the additions that she had asked me for. "Ben and Jerry had a sale on today." She hadn't asked me for any specific flavors, so I chose the two that I thought were a safe option - Phish Food and Cookie Dough. Heidi wanted Bella to focus on highly nutritious foods that held all the fibre and vitamins her body needed, however one day a week she was given almost a 'cheat day' and she could eat whatever her body asked for.
"Thank you." Her smile was sincere - for once she wasn't hiding the real pain.
"You're more than welcome." I finished packing away the food items, let Luna back into the house and then helped myself to a cup of coffee. "Can I get you a hot drink?" I asked, holding the kettle up with one hand.
"I've had… tea already."
"No problem, sweetheart."
When Bella had been diagnosed with selective mutism we were told that, although her throat may have hurt to begin with, it should no longer cause her any pain when she talks. Angela has a feeling that it is more of a phantom pain, and so it was recommended that she had at least one hot drink every day. Herbal teas were advised because of their power to soothe aching throats, and the hope is that in time Bella's mind will allow her to feel like the pain is subsiding and will one day disappear all together. If that doesn't work then hopefully she will learn to live with the feeling. Amputees are known to have phantom pains in the limbs that they have lost, and after some time they either get used to it, or the feeling vanishes, so we will just have to wait and see what happens in the future.
"Edward."
"Yeah?" I took the seat opposite her.
"I'm… about today."
This sentence was easier than some of the others that we had to decode on a daily basis. Knowing what was happening, Bella was trying to tell me that she was scared, nervous, perhaps even anxious about today. It was definitely a negative thought, and so I went with that idea and ran with it.
"You know that nothing bad is going to happen, right?" Her teeth nibbled away at her bottom lip. "What can I do to make it better?"
"…Away."
"Take it away?" I guessed, to which she nodded. "Do you not want Mr. Jenks to come here?" The time was nearing eleven o'clock, which unfortunately meant that there wasn't much I could do with such little time to spare.
"How about this." I said, after giving the situation some thought. "This evening, once Charlie has gone to work, we'll do something fun - I'll leave that entirely up to you, but I want you to pick something that will make you happy and make you smile. Then, when Mr. Jenks is here, you can think about the fun evening we'll have and focus on nothing apart from that."
"Like… what?" She let go of her lip which meant that my plan was working. It was working for now, at least.
"Whatever you want. We could order in a pizza and watch a movie perhaps?"
After a short minute Bella finally agreed and I made her promise that she will decide upon something. I wondered what that decision may be. I wondered what the old Bella enjoyed doing, or how the old Bella spent her evenings when she needed cheering up.
Shortly after eleven the doorbell rang to signal Jason's arrival. Charlie greeted him at the door and brought him through to the living room. I stood and shook his hand formally, however Bella refused to look in his direction. Once Jason had taken his seat he proceeded to bring out a pile of papers and an iPad which he sat on the table between us. There was a tense atmosphere circling the room - none of us knew how Bella wold react or what Jason was going to discuss.
Once everything had been placed on the table, Jason causally sat forward in his seat and crossed his arms over his front. "Bella," his voice was level and calming. "I have a few techniques that I would like you to try later, but for now you have absolutely no reason to talk. Any answers can be written down on paper, okay?"
I wanted to thank him for being so kind and considerate towards Bella. I knew that he was on our side and he would do his best to make sure that we won our case, but that didn't mean that he had to be understanding. His job is to win the trial, and that could become very difficult if Bella refused to cooperate.
"First off I need to make sure that we all understand what is happening and what will happen in the future." Neither Charlie nor I said a word and allowed Jason to continue with his job. With the tip of a finger he searched through his pile of papers until he found what he was after, and then handed a single sheet over to each of us. They were duplicated so we each had the same thing. "I'll give you a second to read that over."
The paper held the formalities of the case - James's full name and date of birth, along with Bella's and 'Victoria's - her real name was Cara Jennings. Thankfully Bella had the courage to pass that information over to the cops, otherwise Cara's parents may not have found out what had happened to their daughter. The paper also had the important dates, addresses and what James will be trialed for.
Before Jason began talking again I asked Bella if she wanted to look at the paper herself, but she refused the offer.
"Does all of that make sense?" Jason asked, to which we nodded. "Perfect. Now, because James has pleaded guilty it means that we don't need to go through a jury trial and we will head straight into the sentencing. It could be that James made a plea deal, which may have lowered his sentence, so our job is to make sure that the judge gives him the maximum punishment."
"I have a question." Charlie raised a hand like we were back in school again. "What are the laws in Oregon when it comes to the death penalty? Personally I feel that that is the only punishment this asshole deserves."
Here, here.
"Capital punishment is a legal penalty in Oregon, however the crimes committed do not meet the requirements. That is exactly why we need to make sure he receives the maximum years."
"What are the maximum years?" I found myself asking that question without even thinking.
"We'll get to that in a second." Jason smirked. "We have to go into that room understanding everything. So, if you can look at the papers it mentions what he is being held for. Offences vary between first and second-degree, which you need to thoroughly understand. This may not be easy to listen to…" Neither of us had to say a word - Bella happily slipped on her headphones to block everything out.
Jason then went into describing every crime committed and their full explanations.
"Kidnapping in the first-degree - when the accused takes a person without that person's permission from one place to another or secretly confines that person. The person does this in order to: obtain a ransom; use the victim as a hostage; cause physical injury; to terrorise the victim; to rape, sodomise, or sexually penetrate the victim."
Yep, Bella really does not want to hear this.
"Rape in the first-degree - a person commits the crime of rape in the first degree when the accused had sexual intercourse with another person and the victim was forced to comply."
I couldn't look anywhere apart from at the floor beneath my feet. It was some of the worst stuff I have ever heard in my life, and to think that Bella experienced it all made me feel physically sick and so painfully sad.
"Assault in the first-degree - when a person intentionally causes serious physical injury to another by means of a deadly or dangerous weapon. James will also be held on one count of first-degree intentional murder but I don't feel like I need to explain that one to you." I wished that he didn't have to explain any of it. I could understand why he needed to do so, however the descriptions were enough to make any person vomit.
Once the coast was clear, Bella was asked to remove her headphones in order for her to listen to the maximum years that James could serve. Our hope was that it would make her feel better mentally if she knew how long he would be behind bars for. I caught Charlie giving his daughter's hand a tight squeeze. God, I hope she's okay.
"All of the crimes are Class A felonies, however the judge will need to take into consideration the detrimental effects of the victims - both physically and mentally - along with the severity of his actions. From the evidence that we can give the judge, our hope is that he will decide upon fifty years for the two counts of kidnapping, a minimum of twenty-five years for rape, anywhere between ten and thirty-two years for assault, and a minimum of thirty years for murder."
I had hoped that the death penalty could have been an option, however they were some big numbers, and I suppose he would have a miserable time in prison for that amount of time. Perhaps other men in the prison will find him attractive and give him a taste of his own medicine. I wouldn't wish rape on anyone, but I hoped that James had an interesting experience in the showers. After all - what goes around comes around.
"This is a rough estimate, however he is looking at somewhere along the lines of one-hundred-and-twenty years without the possibility of parole… as long as we play our cards right."
"This is where we come in?" I asked.
"Exactly. The three of you, as well as Cara Jenning's parents, all need to make victim impact statements. I want you to think about the harrowing side effects; how James has taken any sense of security and independence away from you all. You need to make the judge see that James is a cold-blooded criminal and no-one will be safe unless he is incarcerated for life."
Charlie sighed and scratched away at his moustache. "I mean no disrespect here, but I need to think about the well-being of my daughter and there is no way she can stand in front of that asshole and talk. No way at all. She can't even talk to you, let alone him."
Jason flipped over the cover of his iPad and unlocked the device by using a fingertip. "I understand the frustration which is why I have an idea. Bella," he handed the iPad over to her. She accepted it gingerly. "If I asked you to read this sentence out loud, would you be able to?"
I watched how her eyes travelled from left to right as she read over the words in front of her. After a short pause Bella shook her head and left it at that. Nothing was going to make her talk.
"Okay. There is a technique Angela would like you to try - it is known for helping speech impediments so I would be interested to see whether or not it has the same effect on you." He then asked Bella to put her headphones on. "When you are ready I want you to press play on the first song that comes up and have another go at reading that sentence." It was a Dr. Seuss quote. I wasn't sure whether Angela had picked it or not, but either way it must have been chosen due to the rhyming words and the way it all sounded.
You could have heard a pin drop in that room - even Luna knew not to make a noise as we all waited in anticipation to see whether or not Bella was going to talk.
After what felt like ten minutes, Bella slowly began to read aloud the quote.
"The more…that… you read… th-the more… things… you… will know… The… more that… you learn… The… more… places… you'll go…"
I tried not to seem too overexcited, however I couldn't stop myself from giving her a hug and whispering how proud I was. Charlie copied my moves and that was when I noticed that he, too, had tears in his eyes. It wasn't like we hadn't heard Bella speak, and it was clear that there's still a long way to go, however she had managed to do it in front of stranger which, in my opinion, is the biggest accomplishment.
"I think we've found ourselves a solution." Jason smirked. "The judge won't allow anyone else to talk for you, but if we can explain the circumstances then I am sure they'll allow you to put your headphones on."
"And that's it? That's all we need to do?" It surprised me that Charlie found the need to ask these questions - I thought he would have known how the system works. I suppose it all changes when it becomes so personal.
"Things may change on the day, but if you write out the statement and rehearse it over and over, I don't see why that shouldn't be an issue."
We didn't have a court date, so there was no way of knowing how long we had to help Bella rehearse. All I could do was pray that we had enough time.
0-0
I could tell that there was a slight difference in Bella after Jason had left. It was clear that all the combined information had been too much for her to handle, especially the idea of speaking in front of a large crowd and James himself. The reason she stopped talking in the first place is because of him and the pain he would inflict, so I didn't have high hopes. Personally I was impressed with how Jason handled everything - Charlie was paying good money to have him on our side, and so at least the money wasn't going to waste.
We spent majority of the afternoon chilling in the living room, taking Luna on a walk and, in my case, catching up on any unread emails. Charlie started work at six o'clock and wasn't supposed to finish until eleven, which meant that I was in charge of making dinner and essentially 'babysitting' Bella until he returned home. She still held a schedule when it came to going to bed and so on, but it wasn't as strict anymore. Bella pretty much listened to her body now - if she was tired at eight o'clock then she'll go to bed, otherwise she'll stay up until her body told her otherwise.
I had asked her whether or not she wanted to do something fun this evening, and to my surprise she did. Apparently Bella used to love going to Sully's Burgers, and although she can no longer enjoy the burgers, she can enjoy their chicken strips. Charlie kindly left for work slightly earlier in order to collect our dinner and he even surprised us with a couple of milkshakes to wash everything down with. Bella was like a kid in a candy shop when she viewed all of the food in front of us.
"Is this what you were after?" I asked as I folded a salty fry into my mouth.
Bella's mouth was so full with food that she couldn't even word out an answer. I'm not entirely sure, however I do believe this is the first fast food she has had in over a year. Next month it will be a year since the kidnapping happened, so I wondered how Bella would react to that and whether or not we'd see another set-back on the day.
At one point I even had to remind her to take a breather in between mouthfuls. Charlie had bought her a kid's meal, but at this rate I think she could have handled an adult's size.
"What are we doing after this then?"
Bella stopped drinking her milkshake for two seconds in order to answer. "Movie?"
"Sure! Any one in particular?" Her answer and cooperation really made me smile. After our meeting with Jason our evening could have been completely different.
"Um… comedy?"
"You know me far too well."
We continued our meal in peace, and for the first time I even forgot how vulnerable she was; it just felt like two people having a lovely dinner together. Once everything had been cleared up we made ourselves comfy on the couch and found a movie to watch. I let Bella pick the movie, and once again she completely surprised me. It turned out that Bella meant a romantic comedy instead of an actual comedy, and so I was slightly taken back when she chose 'The Holiday'. I can't say that I had ever seen that film before, however I knew that it was one of Alice's favorites to watch at Christmas. I recognized all of the actors, so that was a good start.
"I love… Jack Black." Bella announced as she pulled her feet up onto the couch.
"He's awesome. Have you heard any of his music?"
"I like… Tribute."
Once again she surprised me. I never would have thought that Bella would enjoy a band like Tenacious D. "Emmett used to listen to their music all the time. Every time we drove to school he would have it playing loudly through the open windows."
The most beautiful laugh filled my ears. "Sounds… like Emmett."
"I don't know if you know of the song Kickapoo, however it is full of curse words and the passersby where not pleased to hear such a song at eight in the morning."
Bella's gasp told me that she had, in fact, heard that song before. "I'd be in… trouble."
Now it was my turn to laugh. Of course this gorgeous, innocent soul would have been in trouble for playing such a song. "Mom wasn't happy when she heard about it."
Our conversation died down in order to pay more attention to the movie, and at one point Bella curled herself up against me; it only felt right to wrap my arm around her. As the movie played on I realized that 'The Holiday' is not something that I would want to watch on a daily basis, however it was fun and anything that brought a smile back to Bella's face was always going to be okay with me.
In one scene of the movie, two of the characters were seen enjoying a romantic meal together and Bella had been so quiet up until that point that I almost thought she had fallen asleep. "I want that." She whispered with her head still resting on my chest.
"You want to go to a restaurant?" Her confession broke my heart. I mean, sure she can't go there right now, but there was nothing stopping her going to a restaurant further down the line.
"…the date."
For the first time in a long time, Bella had left me utterly speechless. Like with the restaurant, there is nothing stopping her from going on a date when she feels up to it, however I thought that that would have been the last thing on her mind right now. I found myself voicing my question before I could stop myself. "Why do you want to go on a date?"
"…want to be like Lauren." She let out a soft sigh which told me that this was not an easy conversation to have.
Also, she wanted to be like Lauren? Who even is Lauren? She's obviously some sort of big influence if Bella wanted to be just like her?
"I want you to be yourself and go on a date because you want to and not because someone else made you think differently."
I wondered where this had all come from - had it been on her mind for some time? Or did this movie start up the thought in her head? Maybe Bella had been thinking about it and she used this movie as a way to bring it up in conversation?
"I want to, but I…"
No! Don't leave me hanging there!
"You what?"
"I don't… think he does."
So this was about a particular person? It must have been someone that Bella knew before all of this, because she hasn't mentioned a guy's name in the whole time that I've known her. A strange urge to protect Bella washed over me. A second feeling had been mixed in with that, however I couldn't work out what it was, so I brushed it off as nothing of importance. Just as long this guy treated her like a queen and gave her the world.
"Why do you think that?" I wasn't sure whether or not to continue on with this topic, but she obviously wanted to talk about it.
"I'm not… special enough."
At that moment I was incredibly glad that she couldn't see my face and the sadness that passed over it. It killed me that Bella didn't think she was special enough, and I'd happily hunt down any man who made her think like that.
My arms gave her a tight squeeze and I bent down ever so slightly to place a kiss on top of her head. "Now that's where you're wrong - you're extremely special to me, and if this guy thinks differently then you don't deserve him in your life."
"Thank you."
I was so intrigued and I really wanted to know more. I just hoped that she didn't find me too nosey or intrusive. "How long have you known him?" Perhaps it was that Jacob person whose name I saw written on her old weekly planner?
"Not… long." She answered after a short pause.
How long is 'not long'? As in, less than a year?
The protective feeling appeared again. The only way she could have met someone within the past year was if she had downloaded a dating app on her phone. If that's the case, then I'd definitely need to tell Charlie about it - there is no way in hell he would allow his daughter to have an online relationship right now. Neither would I.
"Well, he can't be that special then." The smirk on my face came through in my words, although she wouldn't have realized how true they were.
Before she answered, Bella tightened her grip around my middle and she brushed her cheek against my chest as she adjusted her position. "He's… very special."
"Can I meet him one day?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but it felt like the right thing to ask.
"It… depends."
"On what?"
"Whether he… feels… the same way."
0-0
Oh, Edward.
We'll be back in Bella's head in the next chapter and it's a big one…
Please let me know what you thought and I will do my best to upload as quickly as possible!