It seems it'll be raining all week, which makes it the perfect time to sit inside and write! Good times for me, and maybe quicker updates for all of you! A win-win! Needless to say I like rain. Even being out in is isn't so bad so long as you're not getting muddy and you've got an umbrella. Seriously though, it seems like a ton of people just neglect the invention that is the umbrella and I don't get it. But onto the story.

For the next span of time, we travel to various buildings full to bursting with unworn articles of clothing. As if humans didn't already make any sense. What's the use of clothing just lying around?

At first, Alluka searches through the racks absently, her lips pressed and eyebrows drawn together. It takes a couple places before her expression starts to ease up, and she starts taking an interest in the clothing she goes through. Killua and Gon raid the racks and yell at each other, sometimes lifting shirts for the other to see. Even Naii occasionally pokes through some clothing, although the only thing she ever really examines is a long strip of wrinkled cloth with different shades of red splattered across it in a way that gives the vague impression of flowers. She wraps it loosely around her neck, stares at herself in the mirror, then takes it off and drapes it over her arm.

Alluka and Killua start putting things on, too, but they search out private rooms to do so. Whenever one of them steps out of the room with something new on, Gon makes a blatant comment about whether it looks good or not before they go back in. I sit beside a large reflective surface and examine myself in between the times they come out. After they've emerged a couple of times, when Alluka goes back in again, Gon comes over and sits himself beside me.

"So, how did you meet Killua and Alluka?"

He sits with his knees together, feet splayed apart, and his hands beside him on the raised step we sit on. His eyes are as lively as his hair, smile deceptively unguarded. I look back at the reflective surface and ignore him. He doesn't get upset. Instead he turns his eyes up into space and goes quiet until Killua comes out, and he gives him a quick no to the new shirt he's wearing. Killua studies himself for a second and agrees before disappearing again.

"You're interested in Killua like that, right?"

I finally look back at him. He still stares off at nothing. "Like what?"

"Like romantically, right? I mean, you gave him a hickey and everything!"

Whatever a hickey is, the word sounds gross, and I can't help but scrunch my nose in disgust. "If by romantically you mean sexually. What of it?"

The boy hums, and takes a minute to respond. "I can't blame you if you like Killua. He's pretty great! I don't know why anyone would dislike him."

Oh, I dunno, maybe because he can be an unpredictable tyrant?

"But even if you don't like him, that's fine, too. He wouldn't let it get to him. But you know, if he does like you, and you end up hurting him…"

The air suddenly goes thin and I struggle to breathe, my chest abruptly pounding as the instinct to flee shoots through my veins. The boy still smiles, but the life in his eyes is gone.

I don't move even when Killua and Alluka emerge from their rooms back-to-back. Gon springs back to life to approve of both Killua's shirt and the open layer Alluka has on over her dress. The three converse, and I let out a shuddering breath from the lungs I'd thought were empty.

Parading around as a naive little green frog...is actually a poison dart frog.

I get to my feet and dart to the other side of the room.

"Sera?"

"You should try some stuff on. You need new clothes more than either of us."

I turn back to face the brother-sister pair. Alluka looks once again concerned, and Killua's working out kinks in his neck.

"Shoes aren't enough?" I ask dryly.

"Your hair and eyes make you stand out enough already. The least you can do is wear normal clothes."

My hand fiddles with the top clasp on my shirt as I grumble, "I happen to like standing out."

"Um," Alluka speaks up, a hint of hope on her face, "I'd like to pick a few things out for you. There's a lot of clothes you'd probably look really good in!"

I flick a gaze back at the frog boy. There's no longer any obvious danger coming from him, but I can't shake off the sense of threat. I try to shove the worry to an insignificant corner of my mind, and instead say, "I'd look good in anything. That doesn't mean I want to spend time in this box of cold looking for clothes."

"You go and do that," Killua agrees, laying a hand on her shoulder. "I'll make sure he doesn't run off anywhere."

"I'll go with you, Alluka," Gon jumps to his feet and decides. He doesn't give me another glance before he leaves with her. I wish I could relax with him gone, but with Naii sitting on a chair in the corner, I'm still under constant judgement. Killua busies himself with handling the clothes he just changed in and out of. His aura conveys well enough that he still doesn't want me near him, so I can only watch the mark on his neck as he does what he does. It isn't long before he purposefully shifts so I can't see it.

When he appears to be done with whatever he's doing, he leans up against a wall and crosses his arms, finally looking at me. "You can't keep being like this, Sera. I won't keep putting up with it. I'm not an outlet for your sex drive. Next time you do something like this," he motions vaguely to his neck, "expect to be shocked. I've warned you enough."

His words are ugly on their own, but with the anxiety already writhing inside me, they become absolutely hideous. "Well it's not like you've given me much of a choice! You drag me along and tell me not to go hunting down people to mate with, so you brought this on yourself!"

His aura darkens, and for the first time in a while, I feel actual ill intent from him directed at me. I reflexively shiver. An uncomfortable coldness spreads in my chest. Immediately I want it gone, and my anger twists into something nerve-wrackingly unfamiliar.

"What am I supposed to do, then!" My arms cross tightly in front of me, and I avoid his eyes in fear that he might be able to see whatever this feeling is welling up inside me. It's different from anger. Anger feels justified. I don't like this feeling. "Why are you so difficult? All it took was a little coercing in the past, but clearly that doesn't work with you! Is it because you're stronger? Then I'll figure out how to get stronger! Or…" No, he definitely considers me as an option, right? I mean, he reacts so cutely when I invite him.

"Is that all it is to you? A power trip?"

The chill in his voice makes the coldness climb into my head, and the pressure in my face stiffen my expression. Why, why is he so stubborn about this? So what if I get a thrill out of sex? It's not like my partners suffer! I'm not cruel! I always make sure to leave them satisfied! But not only does he reject me, he looks down on me! He treats me like this! What did I do wrong?

How did I end up here, with enemies on all sides? Even the one I thought could be my protection is hostile!

I flinch when something runs across my cheek, and almost at the same time both Killua and Naii's auras fluctuate.

"H-Hey, why're you suddenly crying?"

I rub my palm on my face to get it off, and end up smearing what seems to be liquid, and I jolt again as I stare at my hand. Of course I've seen water coming out of humans' eyes before, but why's it suddenly coming out of mine?

"Consider what I said earlier," Naii suggests. Her voice sounds as unbothered as ever. I vaguely feel Killua look in her direction, but I keep staring at my damp hand. What she said earlier? All the crap she and Alluka said about "married" and "love"? What's that got to do with anything right now? If she wants to talk, she should say something useful, like what's going on with my eyes!

"We found lots of— Sera? What's wrong?" Alluka's tone suddenly changes when she returns with Gon.

I don't know. No, I definitely do. My life sucks! Why is there always someone lording over me? Why can't I just get what I want? I can't get it without pursuing it, but he won't even let me do that! Why does it have to be so difficult to live an enjoyable life?

Alluka trips and Gon steps out of the way when I shoot past them. Outside swarms the mass of humans who add their own heat to the already hot air, but right now, seeing any of them makes me sick. They're defenseless, every last one of them! Pumping fresh meat and blood I'm not allowed to dig into! Tools for pleasure I'm not allowed to use! They're just an eyesore!

I go to areas with less humans, and spy an outside skeleton of metal stairs stretching the side of a building. I leap up onto it and propel myself to the top.

Only traces of clouds streak across the sky, peaks of buildings far more intrusive in the sea-like blue. Up here, the scent of humans is overwhelmed by the sizzling rock of the roof that has nothing for shade. I throw off the shoes and let the bottoms of my feet soak in lovely burning sensation. The water on my cheeks has already dried, but the feeling still lingers. I turn my face up to the sun, soaking in its heat, and fight to eject the disgusting feelings that keep poking at me with their filthy little tendrils.

I'm not unaware when Killua's presence joins me on the roof. He very intentionally reaches out with his aura to let me know he's there. I ignore him.

But no matter how much I ignore him, or how hard I try to chuck it away, the muck just won't leave my head or chest.

He never opens his mouth to say anything, and the longer he just stares at me, the less I can stand it.

"Why did you take me with you? You got rid of the other ants, and it's not like I'd ever reproduce, so why couldn't you have just left me in that village?"

"You would've been a danger to the humans."

"Who fucking cares?"

"I do. They do. It wouldn't have been good for you, anyway. No one wants to stick around people who hate them."

"They feared me!"

"They hated you."

My teeth clench tight enough to risk cracking as I turn to look at him. He stares back unwavering. Before I can dare him to suggest that one more time, he goes on.

"You are an ant, and your colony took their loved ones. Even if it was hidden under fear, you took what was most precious to them, so they were angry, sad, and hated you for it. That's hard to be unaware of. You would've figured it out at some point, especially if you kept your promise to stop eating them. I doubt they'd be that forgiving."

"So what? What do I care? They're all just humans, what are they worth?"

He sighs. "That's what I'm trying to show you

He takes a step closer and I backtrack an equal distance. "I don't need you showing me anything!"

"Sure, 'cause you know exactly how to deal with all the emotions you're feeling right now. After that show and with the way your aura is, I'm willing to bet I know way more than you do right now."

I'm tired of this, I'm tired of the way he treats me! One minute he's stern, and the next he's lecturing, then he's trying to act like I don't get anything!

"Look, I didn't mean to make you upset." Finally, he looks away, scratching at his cheek with one of his nails. "All these se...all these things you keep doing, I'm not used to them." Some of his hair blocks his eyes from view, and the tips of his ears go red. "I know it's nothing to you, but I'm not comfortable with them. I...I do think you're kinda cute, alright? You can be really annoying, but there are times you're not so bad. But you don't think twice about having that kind of a relationship...no, you don't even view it as a relationship. I can't do that, and you wouldn't stop unless I really told you off about it, would you?"

Suddenly he huffs and throws his head like he's indifferent, despite the pink spread across his face.

"I've said enough. I'm sorry for upsetting you. I don't wanna keep Gon and Alluka waiting, so let's go back."

I gape at him like he just told me if I wanted to kill him, he'd be powerless to stop me. How...How did...this turn into this? What's going on right now? What is he trying to do? Pacify me? But all those things he said...and I already knew he thought I was cute. But he admits it and still tells me to stop pursuing him? And what's this about a relationship?

"Hey, are you listening?" He returns his hands to his pockets and tilts his head. "Come on, you've still got some clothes to try on."

There there, Sera, be good. If you upset Killua too much he might stop thinking you're cute, and we can't have that. I do worry about it, even as the author, because Sera's not exactly prone to change, but one way or another Sera's gotta figure some things out. As for how much he'll figure out and when...we'll just have to wait and see. I hope you'll all stick with him and cheer him on! ^-^