CHAPTER XXX: STANDING UP TO THE SHADOWS
"All I'm saying is that we have like… more important things to do than throw a party for the people we've been fighting our whole lives." Mermista scoffed, looking away from the other princesses.
"Mermista… their home has been destroyed, a space tyrant literally waltzed in and wanted to turn them into brainless puppets and right now they're living in tents… doing something nice for them is not going to kill us." Glimmer sighed in exhaustion.
They've been discussing the same thing for almost an hour.
"I mean, since your food is so great… I think that other stuff you do might be just as great? Maybe? And it would be nice to spend an evening dancing and eating instead of thinking about our impending doomsday." Scorpia chuckled nervously.
"Scorpia is right Mermista! Don't you want them to have a break?" Perfuma said, placing a hand on the scorpion princess' pincer.
"Of course Scorpia's right." Mermista cast a dirty look at the display of affection.
Perfuma followed the mermaid princess' look and pulled her hand away, both her and Scorpia blushing slightly.
"I-it's not like that, I'm serious about wanting them to finally experience something good, something nice."
"Why?! Why are you all acting like they deserve it?!"
Suddenly, the war room's doors opened. Adora and Catra walked in, hand in hand, laughing about something. They immediately fell silent as their eyes fell on the princesses. Some looked conflicted, others simply sad… Mermista looked furious.
"Speak of the devil…" She muttered.
"If you got something to say you better raise your voice, otherwise I won't be able to hear you." Catra spat back.
"See?! She chooses to stay with the Horde, she destroys Selineas-"
"Hey!" Catra tried to stop her but Mermista kept talking.
"She kills your mom," Both Catra and Glimmer grimaced at that, "And then she gets to act like the brat she is only because, what? Now she's She-Ra's girlfriend so she can do whatever she wants?!" Mermista throws her hands in the air in exasperation.
"S-she's not… I-I mean w-we're not…" Adora stammered, red as a tomato.
Mermista suddenly walked up to Catra. Adora herself between the two but the mermaid princess simply shoved her aside.
"H-hey!" The blonde protested, stumbling back.
"You think you can fit in here after everything you've done? You think there are no consequences to your actions?!" Mermista yelled, grabbing the hem of Catra's uniform.
"Don't touch me." The feline growled.
Adora put a hand on the mermaid princess' shoulder.
"Let her go." She demanded.
Everything remained still for a few moments in which everyone held their breath… and then… Mermista let go.
"Simply forgetting what they did… what she did… you've all stooped low." She said, before shoving Catra aside and leaving the war room.
No one spoke for the next minute. The princesses eventually began to talk again about the ball's preparations, but Adora couldn't help but notice how Catra remained silent the whole time, her head hanging low.
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Stupid mermaid princess…
Stupid castle…
Stupid people judging her…
…
Judging her for all of the things she's done…
All of the things she's done…
Catra shakes her head as Mermista's words came back to her mind. 'You think there are no consequences to your actions?!'. Of course, Catra knew there would have been consequences to what she had done in the past. But in that past, she simply didn't care… she hadn't cared for a lot of things for a long time.
But now?
Catra was starting to realize her mistakes… how she had pushed away the people she loved in the pursuit of something she thought she wanted… something that would have made her great in the eyes of the people she so desperately wanted the approval of... bad people… people whom only now she was starting to realize she didn't need. She just wished she had understood that sooner.
As she was lost in thought, the feline didn't notice what was happening a few hundreds of meters away from her. She had chosen a spot outside the castle where she thought no one would have ever come to bug her. However, her train of thoughts was quickly interrupted by a shrill cry.
"Ouch! You hurt me!"
"You deserved it! You're a liar!"
Catra immediately recognized that voice…
It was Ivy's voice… and she sounded upset… really upset…
"What is happening here?"
Suddenly, the feline's blood turned to ice.
She recognized that voice too…
The voice that haunted her nightmares…
Who always belittled her…
Told her she was nothing…
"She hurt me!"
"Run along child… I'll deal with her… it seems that she needs to be taught some manners."
No…
No…
'I won't let you touch her…' Catra thought as she started to rush towards Ivy.
A greyish, clawed hand started to reach for the little girl's wrist… and then…
SMACK!
Suddenly, it was slapped away.
Catra stood between Ivy and Shadow Weaver. The red witch took a step forward, doing her best to tower menacingly over the feline. A good trick, Catra had to admit. A trick that had always worked in the past. Not anymore.
"Stand… aside… Catra." Shadow Weaver hissed between her teeth.
"Why? So that you can hurt her?" Catra didn't move an inch.
"She needs to be taught some manners. Or maybe you're going to tell me that she deserves a prize for what she's done?" The witch asked.
"You're not going to teach her anything with your methods." The feline replied.
"She'll understand… she'll be better thanks to my so called 'methods'."
"Of course she'll be better, your methods worked wonderfully on me and Adora, why shouldn't they work on other defenseless children?" Catra chuckled darkly.
"Don't you dare compare yourself to Adora… you were always weak." Shadow Weaver took another step forward, now standing inches away from the feline.
"No, you made me weak. You made me believe that the only thing one needs in their life is power, and it nearly destroyed me. But now? Now I know what it means to be strong… and right now I'm strong enough to tell you to back off." Catra snarled.
"I'm not going to ask you again Catra… stand asid-" Shadow Weaver muttered menacingly before stopping abruptly and letting out a strangled yelp.
Catra had just grabbed her by the hem of her tunic.
"You're going a bit deaf, aren't you? I said… back… off!" Catra snarled before she pushed the red witch away.
Shadow Weaver stumbled backward, her eyes wide as dinner plates.
"H-how dare you… you insufferable-"
Catra sheeted her claws and took a step forward.
"You remember how it ended last time, right?"
"You're… you're nothing more than a filthy animal…" Shadow Weaver's voice trembled.
"Yeah, still better than a monster though, that's what you've always been. Now go." The feline remained still, not breaking her fighting stance, her eyes fixed on the old witch.
"This isn't over…" She muttered, before turning around and walking away.
When the witch was finally gone out of sight, Catra relaxed, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Then, suddenly, a pair of small arms circled her waist. She turned around swiftly, and Ivy buried her face in her stomach.
"Thank you." The little girl whispered. "She's so scary…"
"I thought so too… but she's only a red robe, a mask and a booming voice, nothing more." Catra explained to the little girl, before sighing heavily and kneeling down in front of her. "Ivy… why did you hurt that boy?" The feline asked.
"He deserved it." Ivy scowled.
"Ivy." Catra's tone was dead serious, she put her hands on the child's shoulders, not gripping them harshly, but still firmly.
"H-he was a liar! He told me that we're the bad guys! T-that Lord Hordak didn't bring order to Etheria but that he's destroying everything! That we are destroying everything! That's not true!" Ivy said, her breathing getting erratic.
"Ivy…" Suddenly, Catra's tone softened, and a sad look appeared in her eyes.
Ivy noticed it immediately.
"No… n-no… it's not true… it's not true!" Ivy yelled, pushing Catra away.
The feline looked at the little girl with a shocked expression.
"Kid… what's w-" Catra tried to extend a hand towards her but the kid slapped it away.
"It's not true! Because if it was… t-the Force Captain that found me told me that my parents were rebels! That they were planning to harm many people and that's why they had to be killed!"
Oh…
Oh no…
"I-if Hordak lied to us t-then… then…" Ivy's voice started to crack.
"Ivy… I'm so sorry…" Catra whispered in horror.
Another kid whom the Horde had taken everything from.
"No… no! You're lying! You're all liars!" The little girl screamed in tears as she launched herself towards the feline.
Ivy began to throw punch and kicks at her, growing more and more ferocious as Catra dodged every hit.
"Say that you're lying! Say it!" She yelled.
But soon enough, the kid's hits grew slower, until she finally fell on her knees.
"S-say it…" Ivy raised her face, completely wet with tears, and looked Catra in the eyes, "Please Catra, please… t-tell me you're lying…"
Catra could see pure desperation in the little girl's eyes… but she couldn't lie to her… not again… not like the people who ruined her life. The feline dropped down to her knees and brough Ivy in a tight embrace, hugging her as close as she could.
They both cried.
They both cried because of what the Horde had taken from them.
Ivy cried because now she knew… she knew that she had hated her parents for as long as she could remember… only because of a lie…
Catra cried because for the bigger part of her life she had been a part of the people that stripped that incredible little girl of everyone who loved her… and because deep down… her dreams were starting to make understand… that maybe the same thing had happened to her as well…
"I'm sorry I tried to hit you… I'm sorry… please don't hate me… don't go… I have no one else." Ivy hid her face in the crook of Catra's neck.
Never…
She was never going to leave this girl alone…
"I'll never leave you, got it?" Catra said as she cupped the little girl's cheeks and raised her face so that she could look at her in the eyes.
"Promise?" Ivy sniffed.
Promise…
She knew how much it could hurt to break one of those…
She'd never do that.
"I promise." The feline spoke in a firm yet warm tone of voice.
The two hugged each other again, then, after a few minutes, Catra broke the silence.
"Hey, I saw a bunch of young cadets going to the training grounds near the castle. Queen Sparklehead has offered them so that we can train… if we want…"
"I… I think I'll go there… to think… and punch something too." Ivy managed to give the feline a little smile.
"Want me to come with you?" Catra asked.
"No, I'm good… I think… uhm…" Ivy hesitated, "We'll see each other later, okay?"
"Sure pipsqueak, I'll ask Glitter to add one plate to the dining table so we can have dinner together… sounds good?"
"Yeah… yeah, I think I'd like that." The little girl smiled.
"You sure? Won't you be embarrassed? I mean, Frosta will be there." Catra said coyly, snickering at Ivy's reddening cheeks.
"Geez! I don't care! Ugh, I'm gonna go now." Ivy huffed before turning around and heading for the training grounds.
Catra rose up from the ground and crossed her arms, a contended smile on her face as she watched Ivy walk away.
"You stood up for that kid."
The voice made her turn around swiftly.
Mermista was standing a few feet away from her.
"Yeah…" Catra replied, trying not to sound nervous.
"Shadow Weaver would have hurt her."
"I'm not gonna let that happen." The hatred in the feline's voice was palpable.
It surprised the mermaid princess.
She remained silent for a few moments before finally speaking again.
"I don't understand you…"
"No one still has managed to do that… I'm a mess." Catra gave the princess a small smile.
"Obviously." Mermista rolled her eyes, the corners of her mouth tightening as if she was trying to suppress a grin from forming.
The two remained silent, Catra looked at the ground and scratched her left arm nervously.
"Listen-" Mermista started to speak but was suddenly interrupted.
"I'm sorry." Catra spoke abruptly.
"What?" The mermaid princess was stunned.
"I'm sorry about what I did to your kingdom. I know that apologizing won't fix it, but I want you to know… that when all of this is over, if I'm still breathing… I'll help. I'll help rebuild, if… if you'll let me."
Mermista remained silent. A monster, that's how she had always seen Catra as. But now? The same monster who had destroyed her kingdom had just not only saved a child and brought a smile back on her face… she had just apologized… and offered her help to rebuilt what she had once destroyed. The mermaid princess' expression softened.
"Why did you do it? I mean… you're standing here saying that you're sorry… and I can see that you're sincere, that you understand that what you did was wrong… but then… why did you do it in the first place?"
"Shadow Weaver taught me and Adora everything we know… she taught us the power is what everyone should aim for… Adora was able to leave, to choose a better path, but I couldn't. I just… I just wanted people to look at me like if I was something more than garbage… that's how she made me feel my whole life… so I tried to get as much power as I could… away from Adora's shadow. Turns out that was never what I wanted… I'm… I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that."
Mermista remained silent the whole time. Only when Catra had finished, she stepped forward and put her hands on the feline's shoulders.
"I… I can't imagine what it must have been to grow up like that. You still did what you did but… maybe sometimes people feel like they don't have a choice. But I can see that you want to change… you already did… and I guess that you could help me rebuild my kingdom once all of this is over." Mermista paused, sighed heavily and then spoke again. "I want you to know something, and I think it's something that'll make you understand a few things. It's gonna be hard for me, but I guess that it must be like… even harder for you to change who you are."
"What do you mean?" Catra's voice was reduced to a whisper.
"Catra… I… I forgive you."
I forgive you…
Mermista had forgiven her…
After everything that she had done…
She could still come back…
She could still be a better person.