Chapter 28: Tell Me When You Move On

Cristina grabbed her glass and the one for Meredith, but Izzie stopped her, placing her hand on her arm.

"Wait, wait a minute."

"What? Oh, no," Cristina groaned seeing Shepherd slide into their booth, across from Meredith. "Let's go before we witness some new drama."

"No, give them a few minutes," pleaded her Izzie. "I know what you think about him and I know that Meredith thinks he doesn't love her, but I don't agree. I think they're both in love with each other. I don't want to see that love go to waste. I'm giving ten bucks that Derek will get her back eventually."

Cristina raised one eyebrow at Izzie's challenging expression. "I'm giving… twenty that he'll get her wrapped around his finger before we're off on vacation."

"Cristina!" Izzie lunged at her with a wide smile.

"No, no hugs," she flinched back.

"Okay," Izzie shrugged happily. "But it's still nice to know you're warm and gooey inside."

"Shut up."

"Mer," he quietly said her name sitting down in her booth.

"Derek." She wringed her fingers with obvious awkwardness, the humiliation of the last minutes hitting her double as she looked straight into his face. This week of sleeping alone was messing with her head. She wasn't used to sleeping alone.

"So, about-"

"I'm sorry about that comment," she fired interrupting whatever he intended to say. "Not that it wasn't true but I'm sorry. I should have never let Cristina provoke me… but she was annoying me with this you-need-to-get-laid talk and I…" she trailed off, suddenly realizing she said too much. She had never had to mark her words with Derek, they had no secrets from each other. But that was in the past. That was a different reality. They were broken up now and they had to be careful what they said around each other.

"Yeah, I stood there long enough to get that," he said lowly. His breath was strangled as he tried to brace himself for what he was about to say. And the words were burning his throat alive. There was one reason he came to Joe's tonight, Meredith. He wanted to watch her, feast his eyes on her. He didn't have so many occasions to do that recently. He only saw her at work and that was more and more busy as the end of their internship approached. He simply missed her. Simply? It was a gut wrenching feeling as though half of his being was ripped away. Everything he was and he did was incomplete without her.

So, as he heard through the hospital grapevine that she would be at Joe's tonight, he didn't waste any second to arrive here. It was as pleasurable as it was a torture. All kinds of men came up to her table from time to time trying to chat her up, every time striking a knife into his heart. She turned them down one after another but… as his mind proposed fearfully, what if there came a time she'd accept? He had no right over her anymore. She was free to make her choices. But that realization only added to the overall pain.

"Meredith, I…" he began with a heavy heart. Wait… did he still have one? It should have been dead, shattered to pieces a while ago. "I know I don't have a right to ask you about anything… but I… I am. Just this one thing, please, favor me. I… it would kill me if I heard from some third party that you… that you…"

"That I what?" she frowned.

"That you're seeing someone," he choked out.

"I…" her voice faltered. "I'm just… I'm just out of a relationship. I don't have any intention to start dating. I'm concentrating on work anyway."

"Still," he almost begged her. "Please, promise me you're going to tell me first."

"Okay," she breathed out. "But… you shouldn't care…"

"But I do," he nodded.

A silence fell over them. Derek wasn't sure if he should stay or leave her alone.

"Der," her voice trembled. "You… tell me too, okay?"

"I'm not going to," he stated decidedly. "I'm not going to see anyone but you."

"You will-"

"No, I won't," he shook his head categorically. "You're the first and the last woman I will ever date. Whatever that means."

His eyes were scorching, and she let herself by momentarily hypnotized. Until Cristina appeared back at the table.

"Shepherd, your ass is on my seat."

He lowered his head and with a deep sigh heaved himself out.

"Goodnight, Mer." He went back to his table to take his earlier observation point.

"So," Cristina began, staring at her hands. "Just, I want to have something cleared up before I say this. I am not warm and gooey inside. I am a hardcore bitch."

"Okay?" frowned Meredith. Her head was already spinning with confessions of the day.

"I am sorry if I sounded harsh to you," she said unexpectedly. "I am sorry if I was insensitive."

"Cristina…"

"It's the way I deal," she shrugged. "If I let myself feel some stuff, I might explode… or I might just break down. I don't think I'm as strong as you. I would have been off the rails a long time ago if I were you. You're bigger than that. I'm not."

"Cris-"

"Just, that's all of a girl moment you'll get from me okay?"

"Okay," Meredith nodded softly. "But for your information, that was big. What you've just said. It was big."

"Whatever. Move your ass, Izzie's coming with the drinks."

Do you guys think that Meredith and Derek will get back together? How did you feel about that sentimental moment between Meredith and Cristina?