CHAPTER 30
The first day at River Run for the four travelers went by very comfortably. The dinner Jocasta presented for them that night was a feast like none of them had ever seen. There was a huge roast beef as well as a turkey with a literal pot of gravy set on the table. There were roasted potatoes and mashed sweet potatoes. For vegetables, they were given choices of green beans, carrots, ears of corn and asparagus. Various breads in baskets littered the table, and there were enough small towers of miniature meat pies for each of them to have their own.
It reminded Skylar of Thanksgivings she had seen on TV and in movies, never having one of her own when it was just her and her mom or with her foster family.
She tried to be as polite and ladylike as possible as she ate, though all she wanted was to stuff her face. She glanced at Ian next to her and chuckled at how unconcerned he was at being gentlemanly. He was practically inhaling his food and would barely have swallowed before taking another bite.
She knew that he had likely never had anything similar growing up at Lallybroch, and that being a reason why he was so skinny. But she still felt a need to put a hand on his arm and say, "Love, slow down a little or you'll choke."
When his mouth was empty, he responded with, "Sorry. Bein' the youngest'a seven, ye learn te eat fast or ye don't eat."
Jocasta, with a smile, told him, "I can assure ye, lad, we're no likely te run out of food anytime soon."
After dinner, Skylar and Ian brought a plate of leftovers out to Rollo who was being kept outside for the night because of the lasting remnants of the skunk spray.
The two sat on the porch steps as Rollo ate. Ian had his arm around her shoulders and Skylar rested her hand on his knee. They stared out at the fields in front of them as the sun fully disappeared below the horizon.
Though it was now getting dark, the slaves were still hard at work and likely far from done for the day. Skylar inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, feeling her heart rate pick up from anger at watching the overseers pay close attention to every movement the slaves made, waiting for any excuse to lash out.
Jocasta doesn't know any better, she kept reminding herself. I can't be mad at her for that. At least she treats them as decently as she can.
She felt Ian pry her hand off his knee, not realizing how tight her grip had gotten, and he laced his fingers with hers. He kissed her hand to try to calm her and she gave him a half smile, silently thanking him for taking her out of her head.
Going to bed that night, Skylar could have cried at how comfortable the bed was. The feather mattress and pillows were a far cry from any of the beds she had found herself in in both Scotland and America so far, or even in the 21st Century. The blankets were also incredibly soft and still light enough so that she was able to stay cool in the heat. She was nervous it was going to feel weird not sharing a bed with Ian after doing so for so long, but she fell asleep before she could notice if it was.
The rest of the week went by smoothly. Skylar recognized it was the longest stretch of time since Jamie first took her in that there was no trouble after them.
They were all able to pass their days leisurely, having no important jobs or duties needing any of their attention. Other than, of course, Jamie helping out Jocasta with smaller projects on the plantation, such as what crops would bring the largest profit and where to plant them, or settling minor disputes between community members.
Lieutenant Wolff became a frequent visitor at the house, along with another of Jocasta's friends, Farquard Campbell. They would come to offer their own 2 cents into the running of River Run, both used to being the only ones Jocasta would turn to for advice. Their discussions would typically start with both men arguing against Jamie's ideas, but reluctantly giving in when they realized Jocasta would side with her nephew regardless of what they said.
Skylar would try to avoid Wolff at all costs when he was around. He seemed to take a special, unwanted, interest in her which he didn't bother to hide in the way he would look at or speak to her. When Ian was around her, which was most of the time, Wolff wouldn't directly approach her in order to maintain his appearance as a "gentleman" who would never make advances on another man's woman.
However, in the rare instances Skylar was alone, Wolff seemed to have sense for it and Skylar would end up trapped in a one sided conversation. No matter what he would ramble to her about, he would find opportunities to touch her arm, shoulder, hand or lower back. When he would, she would tense, feeling as though it was Bonnet's hand on her. She would have a major urge to pull from him, but to disrespect a man of high status like that would be detrimental as she was connected to Jamie who was connected to Jocasta. So she would plaster on a fake smile until he left, which was usually only when he was called away.
When he was gone, Skylar would be frozen in her spot until she was able to bring herself back to reality; that she was at the River Run estate, not on the riverboat. Her heart would start racing and her breathing would pick up, and she could feel a panic attack coming on. She would fight them off each time, using the same techniques of recognizing things she saw or felt to ground her. When she was able to calm herself enough, she would immediately find Ian, who would then hold her and remind her that she was safe.
She would also go to Claire when wanted to talk out her thoughts and feelings about her assault. Especially the shame she felt that she hadn't moved on farther from it yet, and that how still being so disconnected with Jamie wasn't helping.
During that week, Jamie's avoidance of Skylar only got worse. If he would walk into a room that she was in, or vice versa, he would make some excuse to leave. Or sitting across from her at dinner, he would look at and interact with everyone at the table but her. Even if she spoke to him directly, he would give the briefest answer he could while looking at his plate.
This was driving Skylar insane and was only upsetting her more and more. As much as she kept telling herself it wasn't true, the thought that Jamie was acting like this because he was ashamed of her for letting what happened happen was too powerful and she was almost starting to believe it.
Not having the connection with Jamie that she had become so dependent on, she felt like she was losing a father all over again. She was so desperate to have their relationship normal again, so she knew she would need to find some way to trap him with her to make him really listen to what she had to say.
But with Jocasta's party fast approaching, she needed to focus more on figuring out how to make a good first impression on everyone Jocasta had deemed important enough to invite. Though she knew fully well she was not the one they were coming to meet and would likely not give her a second thought.
At dinner the night before the party, Jocasta explained to them all that at a point she would be making a speech where she would introduce each one of them properly, and they were to stand with her at the front of the parlor.
"I'm assuming you mean Jamie, Claire and Ian only, right?" Skylar asked, not in any way hurt that she wouldn't be formally shown off to the guests. She wasn't blood, and she figured those actually a part of the Mackenzie line were the ones the night was really for.
"Of course ye as well, dear," Jocasta responded, a little shocked at the question. "Ye are family. Ye must be made known te the community as well."
Skylar smiled humbly, feeling slightly overwhelmed by how welcoming and cared for Jocasta made her feel. She felt Ian take her hand under the table. She looked at him and saw him smiling sweetly at her, which only made her feel happier.
Jocasta ended up having three dresses tailored to fit Skylar, all made with bright and beautiful colors and patterns. The young girl ended up choosing her original dress, the white with pink flowers, to wear to the party.
As she looked at herself in the mirror once she was fully dressed and hair done in some fancy complicated half up half down style only Phaedra could manage, she thought, I guess this makes up for me not getting to wear a fancy dress to Senior Prom.
Skylar met with Ian, Jamie and Claire at the top of the stairs. She took Ian's arm and, as they waited for their cue to go down, his whispered to her, "Yer absolutely stunnin'," and kissed her cheek, making her smile and blush.
"And you look incredibly handsome. Even more so than usual," she whispered back, flattening some of his flyaway hairs and kissing his lips quick while they were still able to. His outfit wasn't as rich looking as the ones she knew others would be wearing that night with their brightly colored silks or patterned fabrics imported from Europe. But in his simple brown blazer and green tweed vest, he may as well be Prince Charming at the ball to her.
He smiled shyly back at her in response, and she couldn't believe his smile still filled her stomach with a million butterflies. Whenever she looked at him and remembered she was his, she wanted to pinch herself to see if this was all some wonderful dream instead of her life.
But the butterflies turned into knots when she looked at the bottom of the stairs and saw the large number of guests gathering to witness their entrance, already watching and judging her.
"My friends," she heard Jocasta start saying, "I thank ye fer joinin' us this evenin'. And will ye please help me in welcomin' me nephew, Jamie, and his family."
Jocasta gestured to the group, which was the sign for them to move. Skylar squeezed Ian's arm and he put his other hand on top of hers as they followed Jamie and Claire down.
In through the nose, out through the mouth, she thought, though it was hard to stay calm feeling dozens of eyes locked on her.
The journey down the stairs felt like it lasted a year, but her stomach settled when they finally got off the last step.
"Please, enjoy yerselves," Jocasta said to everyone, then she walked into the parlor, the four following.
Some of the house slaves came out with trays of champagne and food, and the guests broke off into smaller groups around the living space.
Early on, Skylar was forced from Ian by a group of wives of some of the men, who tried to talk with her about how much they were spending on new dresses and suspicions that their husbands were having affairs with the nannies.
"Take heed of our advice, Skylar," one of the women told her. "When hiring a nanny, the older, the wrinklier, the greyer the better. Then you can be slightly more sure Ian won't stray."
"Oh, um, I-I don't think he ever-" she started to say back.
"That's what I thought when my husband and I married. He would never," another butt in. "But you know how men are, their eye always wanders to the prettiest and youngest in the room." She aimed the last part directly to Skylar with an accusatory tone and a couple of the others in their cluster looked the youthful young woman over with opinions and judgements, as if she was the girl being warned against who was going to steal their husbands with a glance. Skylar's mouth and throat suddenly went very dry.
"Excuse me, ladies," Ian said, showing up at her side. She breathed a sigh of relief seeing him. He smiled at the other women and went on, "I'm verra sorry te cut in, but I'm afraid I have te steal Skylar away. Me Uncle is wishin' te discuss an important matter with her."
"It was lovely talking with all of you," Skylar said to her new "friends." They gave tight grins and nodded in response. Skylar took Ian's arm and they walked away.
"I have never loved you more than I do in this moment," she whispered to him.
"I could feel ye sufferin' across the room."
"If I ever start to turn into one of those women, I beg of you, Youngin', kill me." He laughed at that.
Not wanting to leave Ian's side again, Skylar found herself caught up in a group with him, Claire Farquard Campbell and, unfortunately, Lieutenant Wolff, among other members of Cross Creek's high society, discussing politics; a topic she tried to avoid in 2019, and even more so here in 1767. The subjects being brought up were making her blood boil, but she knew she needed to bite her tongue. She also tried everything in her power to avoid making eye contact with Wolff, who kept giving her lewd looks.
"I heard they were causin' trouble at the courthouse in Beaufort," Farquard mentioned.
"Ugh, the taxes again. If it's trouble they want, it's trouble they'll get from His Majesty's army. I'd go so far as to send the Marines if it would help quell the whimpering rogues," Wolff commented.
"Tumultuous times ahead," another man added. He was someone Scottish who's name Skylar didn't catch. "Between the Indians and now these Regulators, it'll be a miracle if we have a chance te make somethin' decent of this land."
"Well, you can hardly blame either group for wanting their voices to be heard," Claire spoke up.
"Aye, the Indians were on this land first, were they not?" Ian continued.
Wolff snickered at Ian's comment. "How charmingly naïve. If I were you, boy, I would focus less on political matters I know very little about, and put all of my attention on the beautiful young flower that has chosen to be on my arm." He looked Skylar up and down for the hundredth time and she just gave a pained smile in reply.
I'm going to throw up and I'm gonna do it all over this asshole.
Going back to the original subject, he went on, "Were it not for the Romans, the good natives of Great Britain would be sheltering in dwellings little better than mud huts today. No roads, no sophistication of any sort. The savages should be thankful we're here to spare them a similar fate."
At that comment, Skylar had enough. She quickly swallowed her near full drink in one gulp and said, "How unfortunate, it appears my glass is empty. Ian, would you please accompany me for a refill?"
"Of course." She took his arm yet again and they walked off.
"Thank you," she said to one of the slaves as she took a new full glass from the tray he held. She turned to Ian and said as she sipped, "This is outrageous. That man is outrageous. I swear, if he called the Natives savages one more time, I was gonna punch him in the neck."
"It's good we got ye away from him when we did, because I have no doubt ye would actually act on that. Though I'm also findin' it hard te restrain meself from plain shootin' him fer how he looks at ye."
"I hate people."
"Yank, ye dinna mean that."
"I do. I do. I like you and I like Rollo and that's it."
"Rollo isna a person."
"Thus furthering my point."
Their conversation was interrupted by someone clinking on a glass. They turned to the noise and saw it was Jocasta about to make her speech. Skylar set her glass down on a nearby table and took Ian's hand. The two made their way to the front of the group and took their spots next to Claire.
Once all of the guests that were able to fit inside the room had gathered, Jocasta began to speak.
"It has been my honor te introduce me nephew, Jamie Fraser, his lovely wife, Mistress Claire Fraser, me great-nephew, Ian Murray, and his, I'm certain, soon to be betrothed, Miss Skylar Kelley."
Omigod, Skylar thought as she felt her entire body catch on fire at that introduction. She looked at Ian from the corner of her eye and saw he was the reddest he had ever turned.
They both tried to keep their faces normal as they listened to Jocasta go on.
"But there is another reason I've brought ye together on this fine day."
Campbell then called out from the audience, "Mistress Cameron, ye've brought out the good vintage. What excellent news this must be," referring to the wine each guest had been given.
"Indeed I have, Mr. Campbell." She continued speaking to the rest of the crowd. "All gathered here have kent fer quite some time that I have been agonizin' over the matter of te whom I shall leave my beloved River Run. Well, ye need wonder no more. I am pleased te announce that I've decided te name me nephew, Jamie, as my heir. It is my intention that Jamie should act as master of the estate immediately."
Skylar couldn't keep her mouth from dropping open at the announcement. She looked right to Jamie and Claire to see their reactions. Claire was working very hard at keeping her face clear of any reaction, but Skylar could see her chest rising from taking large breaths to control herself. Jamie was trying just as much to hide his surprise.
"I leave River Run in his hands," Jocasta finished, raising her glass.
The crowd applauded. Skylar looked at Ian and saw he was as well. She followed his lead and applauded politely.
While everyone was clapping, she looked into the audience and saw many people whispering to each other and staring at Jamie, trying to size him up. When she saw Wolff and Campbell, she noted that their expressions had a sense of offense. She realized that being so close to Jocasta and so high up in the community, they may have believed River Run would be left to one of them.
Oh please please please don't let this start anything bad, Skylar pleaded silently.
As the crowd dispersed, she brought her eyes back to Jamie and Claire. She saw Claire give her husband a look that made it more than clear she did not support this, then walked away. Jamie went off to find his aunt.
Skylar turned to Ian and said, "Well, I don't know what I was expecting Jocasta to say in her speech, but it certainly wasn't that."
"Did Uncle Jamie ken she was goin' te do that?" he wondered.
"Did you see his face? There's no way he did."
"Auntie Claire didna look too happy about it."
"She definitely has some thoughts that I'm positive she will share with Jamie."
"Do ye think she'll try te convince him te not accept?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised. You know how she feels about the…ways and workings of the place."
"I hope she lets Uncle Jamie take it on."
"Why?"
"Because if Uncle Jamie owns River Run, ye and I will be able te live here as well. And then we can raise our children here and we'll be able te give them so much better than I ever had at Lallybroch."
Skylar didn't hear the second half of what he said, focusing on two very important words. "Our children? Youngin', slow down. We're only 17. We're not even married yet."
"Ye heard Great-Aunt Jocasta; we're te be married soon, no?" He smiled at her, trying to play if off as a joke. But Skylar thought she saw something in his expression that made her believe he wasn't joking totally. In that moment, she realized that he may have actually taken to heart what Jocasta had said and could in fact be planning on at least proposing sooner rather than later.
That idea made her stomach flip and tighten into one giant knot. Thinking about marrying him before had given her excited butterflies, when she figured it would still be a number of years away. But the reality that she and Ian could be married with a family at this time the next year made her feel more nervous and anxious than excited.
All she said in response to him was, "Let's figure out what country we're going to be living first, okay? We still need to find a time to talk to Jamie." The two of them had been planning on finding a way to basically corner Jamie to try to convince him to let them stay in America with him and Claire.
Over the last few days, every time Ian brought up how it was ripping him apart knowing that their return to Scotland was getting closer, she would try to argue the same points she had been using with him, but even she didn't like or believe what she was saying. And so, with her dreading leaving and knowing there was no way Ian was going to change his mind, she stopped debating it with him and instead they started working on what they would say to Jamie to make him say yes.
Skylar also thought that forcing Jamie into a position where he had no choice but to look at her and talk and listen to her might push him to start being normal with her again.
The rest of the party went by as smoothly as it could. Claire was nowhere to be seen, having probably locked herself in her and Jamie's room. Jamie kept trying to pull Jocasta aside to talk to her about the situation, but Jocasta kept stopping him by introducing him to person after person she thought he should know now that he was in charge of River Run. Skylar saw Wolff sulking in a corner, just drinking and refusing to talk to anyone, which she was more than fine with.
Ian became bored after a while and said he was going to take Rollo and visit John Quincy Myers. He asked Skylar if she wanted to come as well, but she told him to go on without her. The truth was, she was feeling a little anxious around him and she thought that if they separated for a bit, she would be able to calm down. But she was wrong.
For the rest of the party and long into the evening, she couldn't stop thinking about what Ian had said. Though he didn't say it in so many words, he had hinted that he could be ready for taking the next enormous step in their relationship; and Skylar was not.
She had been in bed for hours, but she was still wide awake thinking about it. She kept tossing and turning endlessly until settling on her back, staring at the ceiling. The guilt she felt over her confliction was eating her alive.
I love Ian. Why wouldn't I want to marry him right away? her brain kept saying. It would then argue back with, But I'm only 17! I'm not ready for that!
She put her hands over her face and let out a loud groan. Having given up on the idea of sleep for a while, she decided that maybe eating something would ease her.
She got out of bed and put on the expensive real silk bathrobe Jocasta had lent her, and quietly walked out of her room to the kitchen. She took a couple of the cookies left over from the night and poured a small glass of milk. She went into the parlor and sat on the couch.
As she ate, she stared into the fire that was still blazing brightly and just kept repeating the same sides of her personal debate.
This really would be the perfect time for Mom to be here and give me boy advice, she thought.
She held her heart charm in her hand and said out loud, chuckling lightly, "But I bet this is one boy problem you never would've expected me to have, huh, Mom?"
She remembered what Claire had told her, that if she needed a mother figure for anything, Skylar could go to her. She was so wanting to talk this out that she was half debating waking Claire up. But she was interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Out of fear, she stood up immediately and stared at the entryway. Some small illogical part of her brain was telling her it was Stephen Bonnet returning to finish what he started, or Lieutenant Wolff who might try to touch more of her than just her back. She started breathing again when she saw it was Jamie.
Jamie, obviously not expecting to see her there, jumped back, startled. He recognized her right away though and grabbed his chest.
"Christ, lass," he said to her. "I mistook ye fer a ghost fer a moment."
"Sorry. I didn't know anyone else was awake."
Jamie just stood looking at her for a moment, actually looking at her. Skylar thought that this might be their chance to talk about the elephant in the room.
But the moment was too brief. She saw in his face him remembering, and he downcast his eyes from her again.
"I'll leave ye te yer thoughts," he told her. He started to walk out, but Skylar stopped him.
"Please don't," she called to him. He paused in his track, though his back was still to her. She bit her lip, trying to think of what to say. "I'd really like it if you stayed. I think we need to talk about some things." He didn't move. But Skylar saw his shoulders go up and down with the deep breaths he was taking. "Please."
After a few silent seconds, Jamie slowly turned around and walked towards the couch. Skylar sat down and he sat beside her, a good foot away and his eyes locked on his hands resting on his knees.
She decided to cut right to the point. "Why can't you look at me?" He didn't answer. "Are you mad at me? Do you blame me for what happened with Bonnet? Is that why you can't look at me?"
Her words melted his hard focus and he answered, still looking down, "No, Skylar." His voice was soft but she could tell he was taken aback by her question. "Christ, of course not. That ye've been thinkin' that's true it…it only adds te me guilt."
"Then why?"
He didn't say anything for a long time, but he at last said, "When I look at ye, all I can see is that vermin wi' his hands on ye, tryin' te…" He couldn't finish that sentence. He just curled his hands into tight fists, pressing them into his knees. "And that I was just on the other side'a that wall and didna do anythin' te stop it."
"You and the others were asleep and didn't know. He was quiet. I didn't even hear him come on the boat."
"I should have sensed who he really was when he first came te us. If I had, I coulda killed him right then."
"He fooled everyone."
"Not ye. He didna fool ye. Ian told me what ye said te him when ye first saw Bonnet. That ye could tell there was somethin' bad in him and he made ye feel scared. I should've…I should have at least been able to pick up on what ye were feelin'."
"I didn't say anything though. You're not a mind reader, Jamie. I should've spoken up. This is not your fault." She was begging him to believe her, but she could tell convincing him was going to be a lot harder than convincing Ian. "Jamie, please, look at me."
First, his eyes moved to look at her from the side, then, still facing down, he turned his head towards her. He finally raised up to look her in the eye.
She then got to say to him what she had been trying to for a week. "I know that you think what Bonnet did to me is your fault. But it's not. I need you to believe me on that. And anyways, it's done. It happened. It's in the past, and we can't change anything. We need to mov- I need you to try to move forward from it. Because every time you avoid my eye or leave a room I come into, I know why and then I'm there again. I see him and feel him and, God, if I'm forced to relive it one more time I'm going to have a fucking breakdown!" She blinked back some tears and gripped her bathrobe to keep her hands from shaking at talking about it again. "I'm sorry. I-I don't want to yell at you or make you feel worse. I just…I want to move on and put it behind me. I need to move on and put it behind me. And not only that. I want you back. I miss you. You know you're the closest thing I've had to an actual father and I need that back." That last part was what made her voice crack and a couple tears break through.
Jamie looked at her, his heart breaking as he replayed every word she just said in his head. He moved in closer to her and put a hand on her cheek. He wiped her tear away with his thumb and said, "I'm so sorry, Skylar. I've been so occupied wi' my own thoughts that I havena stopped te realize what ye must be goin' through, which should have been my only thought. I am so sorry I havena given ye the support and care ye need. It made me so angry that ye were hurt and…I've only been hurtin' ye more. I'm goin' te change that, startin' now. Whatever ye need, I am here."
Skylar lunged at him and hugged him around his neck. Jamie hugged her back, keeping a hand on the back of her head and stroking her hair. He hadn't been able to be a father to his own daughter, but he would be the best father he could to Skylar, the girl who was here now, in his arms, and needed him so desperately. As he held her, he vowed nothing would ever hurt her again as long as he was alive.
When Skylar sat back, she gave him a smile that was small but clearly expressed how grateful and thankful she was for him. He returned it, feeling the same way.
He could tell she no longer wanted to talk about Bonnet, so he changed the subject and asked, "Now, will ye please tell me why yer not in bed right now?"
"I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking."
"About what?"
She hesitated. She was nervous that if he knew what Ian had talked to her about, he might freak out on him. But she so badly needed to talk to someone about this, and Jamie was right here.
"Um, Ian kind of hinted that he wanted to marry me."
Jamie laughed. "If ye didna ken that by now, lass, then yer more blind than me Aunt Jocasta."
"No, I mean, I always knew he wanted to marry me one day. But what he said today made it sound like he's going to propose, like, soon."
"What did he say?"
"After Jocasta's announcement, he said he really hopes you do take over River Run so he and I can raise our children here. And when I was like, slow down, what do you mean children, we're not even married yet, he brought up Great Aunt Jocasta saying we're going to be, like, any day. He was trying to act like it was a joke but…something in his face and eyes was felt like it wasn't."
"And what do ye feel about that?"
"I feel…I'm not ready for that. And that makes me feel like I'm the worst person in the world because I love Ian. I love him so much my heart could literally burst just thinking about him. And I've fantasized about marrying him and making a family with him for so long, but those fantasies all take place years from now. I mean, Jesus Christ, we're only 17 years old! And I know-I know people get married so much younger here than they do in the 21st Century. But, is it wrong to want to just enjoy being with Ian and having us be two teenagers stupid in love before jumping headfirst into such adult responsibilities?"
She took a moment to catch her breath, since she didn't breathe during her entire speech.
She finished with, "Anyway, uh, yeah. That-that's why I can't sleep."
"Yer not wrong and definitely not a bad person fer feelin' like that. The future is a scary thing te think about, even if it's one wi' the person ye love most. With Claire and me, we didna have time te worry about bein' married since we were thrown inte that verra quickly. But thinkin' of the life ahead of us, it was excitin' fer sure and it made me happy te think about it, but it was also terrifyin'. Wonderin' how I was te provide fer her and our children, where we would live. It made me nervous. It was also somethin' I thought I wouldna have te think about fer quite a while. I was older than ye and Ian, but I do understand yer wantin' te be young fer a bit longer before bein' forced te face the real world head on, on yer own. And it is also like ye said, ye come from a time where these kinds of thing are verra different than they are here. Ian grew up watchin' his brothers and others around him get married and start their own families at the age he is now. Ye havena. And ye don't have te do anythin' ye dinna want te just because ye think ye must."
"If he were to propose though, and I said no, I couldn't live with causing him that heartbreak. But I could be freaking out over nothing. He may not be planning to do anything and he wants to wait too. I want to marry him, I do. I want him and only him forever. Just, in a couple of years."
"I can talk te him if ye'd like. See what his thinkin' is."
"I don't want him to know how I'm feeling about this though."
"He deserves te know, Skylar. Even if yer freakin' out over nothin', as ye put it, he should know where yer head is at wi' this."
"But what if he…wh-what…he…" She didn't want to say it out loud to put it into the universe. "What if that makes him not want me anymore?"
"I strongly doubt that there is anythin' that could make Ian not want ye. I watched him love ye from a distance fer too long te let ye go that easy."
"Is it pathetic for me to not talk about this with him myself?"
"No. This is a verra important conversation, and if ye need a bit'a help bringin' it te light, there's nothin' wrong wi' that. It'll also give me a chance te really learn what his intentions are with ye."
She smiled. "Thank you, Jamie."
"Like I said, whatever ye need."
Skylar leaned against him with her head on his chest, and he wrapped an arm around her.
"I missed you."
He kissed her head and said, "I missed ye too."
Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! I cannot believe YotAS has reached 100 followers! That's insane! Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has followed/favorited/reviewed so far, and if you're new, thank you for making it all the way to chapter 29! You all make me excited to post each week ;) I love ye verra much and I'll see you in chapter 30!