Chapter 27
Gale Song, The Lumineers
Love Me Or Leave Me, Three Days Grace
A Little Bit Off, Five Finger Death Punch
The Abyss, Three Days Grace
Hurt, Johnny Cash
*Link to YouTube playlist in chapter one.
*As always, fiddling was had. All mistakes are mine.
**Posting schedule update in A/N below.
Edward
"Dad! Did it come?" Seth asks as he pushes past his mom at the door. He barely gives her a glance as he rushes outside. "Are we doing it today?"
I grin down at him. "It did, and we are."
"Yes," he hisses.
He tries to bolt past me, but I grab his arm. "Hey, say goodbye to your mother."
In a move that almost constitutes a hug, he squeezes Angela. "Bye, Mom," he says in a rush before running toward the Nova.
"Have fun," she shouts. She turns to me. "He's a little excited, huh?"
"I guess so. If I'd have known how much, I probably would have bought one ages ago. And who knows? Maybe if it's a hit, I'll look into getting something more permanent."
Her usual smile falls. "Do you think you could stick around when you drop him off tomorrow?" She pauses, and I already know what's about to come out of her mouth. "We need to sit down and talk."
I nod, swallowing hard. "Yeah." My voice is thick. "I don't have anything planned tomorrow except for church in the evening."
With a heavy heart and heavier steps, I walk toward the car. Seth's smiling face hangs out the window, and in an instant, the weight on my shoulders simultaneously lifts and grows. No matter what Angela and Ben might have to tell me tomorrow, I'll deal with it. Even if they're moving—taking my son and moving away—I'll figure out a way to make it work.
I have to.
I slide in behind the wheel and start the engine. "You ready for this?"
"Yes! I've been ready, Dad. It took forever for it to get here."
I meet his eyes in the rearview. "I ordered it two days ago, kid."
"Like I said, forever."
Shaking my head, I shift into first and pull away from the curb. Seth chatters behind me, and the more he talks, the more my mind drifts toward the possibility of not having days like this. Days I can just pick him up from his mom's to spend the day together.
Seth's excited to set up the Easy Set pool I ordered from Amazon. The days are only getting warmer, and it'll be nice to have a way to cool off. And after the disastrous face-to-face at Mom and Pop's place last week, I knew I needed to do something for the kids. Because we won't be going over there any time soon.
"Is Sam coming over to help, too?" he asks as we pull into the driveway, unbuckling his seatbelt before I even cut the engine.
"He should be here soon."
Once I unlock the house, Seth zips past me as I disarm the alarm. He disappears through the patio door in search of our project. I toss my keys on the counter in the kitchen and check my buzzing phone.
On our way now. Be there soon. - B
I slide my phone back in my pocket and head outside to supervise Seth before he can mangle the instructions or the vinyl of the pool. I'm as calm as I can be under the circumstances, but trying to assemble a swimming pool with a nine year old isn't exactly smooth sailing. We get as far as spreading out the tarp out on my tiny patch of grass before Seth complains about being thirsty.
I stand up from pulling the corner of the tarp into place and brush off my knees. "Come on. Let's go make a pitcher of lemonade." I wrap an arm around the back of his neck and pull him to my side. "It's gonna be a hot one, so we're gonna need it."
I've got the plastic can of frozen concentrate in the microwave and Seth is filling the pitcher with ice when the doorbell rings.
"Come in!" I shout, hopeful Bella can hear me.
The front door opens, and Sam comes barreling into the kitchen. "Did you get it? Did you get it?" he asks, bouncing around with eager eyes.
"Sam!" Seth shouts when he sees them. "Aunt Bella! Did Dad tell you the pool got delivered today?"
"He did," she says with a smile, ruffling his hair. She walks past him and toward me, gently hip checking me as she passes. "Hey, you."
"Hey," I reply, only briefly looking her way. I'm distracted, and even though I know why, I can't snap out of my mood.
"You okay?" she asks quietly.
I force a smile and shrug a shoulder. "I will be."
She studies me for a moment but doesn't press for more, for which I'm grateful. Instead, she shoos us all out the door, promising to make the lemonade and find something to make for an early dinner.
We hook up the pump and get the hose ready to fill the shapeless mass on the ground, but Bella still hasn't made an appearance.
"You two leave this alone until I get back out here. Got it?" I make eye contact with both of them.
"Got it, Dad," Seth assures me.
"Got it, Uncle E," Sam parrots.
When I step into the house, Bella's sitting at the table with a pile of mail in front of her. The pitcher is on the counter, abandoned and dripping with condensation.
"Hey. You get lost bringing out the lemonade?"
"Oh!" Her head snaps up, and her eyes meet mine. "Sorry. I wanted to make sure it was cold enough, but I guess I got distracted."
"What's all this?" I ask, stepping up beside her.
"I grabbed the mail before we headed over." She holds an envelope in her hand, and the shop's logo on it catches my eye.
"What did Mom and Pop send you?"
She's quiet for a moment, hesitating, before opening the flap and pulling the paper from inside. "Esme sent me a check." She shows me the check from Esme's personal account.
For twenty thousand dollars.
"Well ... shit."
"Yeah."
"Was there a letter or anything in there with it?"
"Not a thing. Just the check." She looks up at me. "If your math was right this is only—"
"A fraction of what she owes you, I know." I hold onto the top of the chair beside her, my hands flexing as I resist the urge to go find my mother and wring her neck. "Has she tried to contact you before this? Call you? Stop by? Anything?"
She shakes her head. "No. Nothing. Not even a phone call to apologize."
I lean over and kiss the top of her head. "I'm sorry," I mumble against her hair.
She shrugs. "I wasn't expecting anything from her, really. As far as I'm concerned, she's said everything in this one gesture. She's more than made her point with this." She looks up at me then. "I'll just be thankful for small miracles and stash this away for now. Maybe make some big plans for the future."
"The future, huh?" I ask, nuzzling her neck. "What kind of future?"
"The kind that includes you and those two little boys out there." She pushes back and stands from the chair, oblivious to the knot in my stomach at her mention of a future with both our boys. "Come on." She walks over to the counter and swipes the pitcher and stack of plastic cups. "Those kids are probably melting by now."
It takes a little longer than the directions say it should, but we manage to get the pool where it needs to be so we can finally turn on the water. I spot Bella keeping watch from the kitchen window, and it feels so ... domestic to have the four of us here, doing something so normal. It's a glimpse of a life I never thought I'd have.
But as I watch Seth and Sam work together to smooth out the wrinkles on the bottom of the pool with their bare feet, I'm reminded that this could all be taken away from me. This life might still be out of reach.
I redirect the kids more than once, and I have to catch myself before I snap at them. But we finally get to the point where we can turn on the hose full blast and leave it. And it's perfect timing, because just then, Bella steps out onto the patio, and the smell of dinner wafts out of the house.
Sam takes off toward his mother. "Mommy, come see! Uncle E turned on the water!" He grabs Bella's hand and pulls her away from the door. "We're gonna swim when it fills all the way up!"
"You know it's going to take a while to fill up, right, Sam?" she asks him as she gets closer to Seth and me.
Sam rolls his eyes. "That's what Uncle E said." He leads her over to where Seth and I are manning the hose.
"It's looking good, guys. You did a great job." She's overly enthusiastic, making a big deal about praising their efforts. The beaming smiles on the boys' faces are enough to make me smile, too. "Now, how about we get some dinner while it fills? I've got everything ready for tacos."
At the mention of food, the boys take off.
"Slow down!" I bark as the kids run inside. Once the patio door closes, I huff a breath.
"You okay?" she asks, rubbing a hand over my back.
"Not really." I meet her eyes, and I can tell she senses something is wrong.
"What's wrong?"
"I talked to Angela when I picked him up this afternoon. She wants to talk when I drop him off tomorrow."
"Oh," she says, her hand stilling. "Did she say what she wants to talk about?"
I rub a hand over my face and groan before looking down at her. "Can we talk about it later?"
"Sure. Whatever you need."
I peck her on the lips. "Thanks. I'd just rather not get into it right now."
Once I'm satisfied the hose isn't going anywhere, we head inside to supervise the boys. Seth is already helping Sam load his taco shell, and the sight of the two of them side by side makes my heart clench.
I'm not even a hundred percent sure of what Angela has to tell me, but I'm already dreading the worst.
We all sit around the table to eat, and the boys go on and on about what they're going to do when the pool finally fills. Bella reminds them it probably won't be full until after the sun has gone down, but they're not discouraged in the least.
"We can swim after breakfast," Seth says with a shrug.
"That water is gonna be a little cold, Seth," I remind him. "It might be better to wait until the sun has a chance to warm it up a little."
Sam stares up at me with a puzzled look, and Bella giggles.
"What is it, Sammy?" she asks.
Sam blinks and turns to his mom. "Are we sleeping the night? 'Cause I want to swim after breakfast, too."
She glances over at me, and all I offer her is a smirk, but my gaze doesn't linger. I turn to Sam. "Yeah, buddy, you and your mom can both stay tonight."
"Yes!" both boys squeal in unison, already making plans for a movie marathon in Seth's room.
When everyone is done eating, Bella stands and collects our plates, taking them to the kitchen. I go back outside when the boys insist on seeing the pool's progress. Once they're satisfied that the water is still flowing and the pool is actually filling, we head back in the house.
We send the boys off to shower while Bella and I clean up the kitchen. Once we're done, the boys settle in Seth's room to watch a movie, but I'm not sure they make it thirty minutes before they're sound asleep and we're tucking them into bed.
While Bella helps pick up the remnants of the packaging that's left in the yard, I check the water level in the pool.
"They're so excited to swim tomorrow," she says, walking up beside me and wrapping an arm around my waist.
"They are." I kiss the side of her head. "I've missed you."
She smiles up at me. "You just saw me a couple of days ago."
I shrug. "I know. But ..."
"But what?"
When I don't answer her right away, she squeezes me tighter. "Hey," she prompts, "what's up with you? You've been acting weird all day. Does this have to do with your mom? Because I don't—"
"It's not about Mom, even though I'd like to ..." I shake my head, putting off my thoughts about my mother for another day. "No, it's about what Angela said to me earlier." I'm not quite ready to say it out loud, so I hesitate.
"What is it?" she finally asks.
I bury my nose in her hair as I speak. "I think they might be moving."
"Moving?" She pulls away just enough to look up at me. "Moving where?"
"I'm not sure, but Ben flew out for an interview this past week. And she mentioned it being a possibility back when they were in Cali."
"And you're just now telling me about it?" She doesn't sound angry, just ... hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?"
I shrug a shoulder and pull her back into my arms, tucking her under my chin. "I was trying not to think about it."
"What does that mean for Seth?"
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. "I have no idea."
I spend the night wrapped around Bella. She does her best to distract me from what I might be facing tomorrow, offering me solace in her body. We fall asleep sometime after midnight, but we're up before the boys. With everything else going on right now, I'm not ready to answer questions about why Seth's Aunt Bella is sleeping in his old man's bed.
Breakfast is hardly cleared away when the boys start asking about getting in the pool. I put them off as long as I can, but their persistence finally makes me cave.
We spend hours outside, only going in to eat lunch and when Bella insists on more fucking sunscreen. But I have to admit, having her rub that shit on my back and shoulders is a bonus. Getting to see her in a bikini is another.
But our fun comes to an end when Angela calls, asking for me to bring Seth home.
"They're still swimming," I tell her, turning away from the kids splashing in the water.
"I know, but it's getting late, and you said you had to go to church tonight, right?"
I sigh and rub my eyes. "Yeah. I have to be there by eight."
"Well, it's already four. By the time you get him home and after we sit down to talk, it'll be dinnertime, then it'll be—"
"Yeah, I get it." I look over at the kids and meet Bella's gaze. "I'll be there as soon as I can get the boys out of the water."
On the drive to Angela's house, I feel like a dead man walking. Seth's oblivious in the backseat, but the closer we get to Ben and Angela's, the tighter my stomach knots.
Angela seems uneasy, too. Her stilted greeting when I walk in and the way she hurriedly sends Seth off to go help Ben with something tell me she's as nervous about this conversation as I am. And when she leads me into their living room and offers me a drink, it feels like a forced pleasantry.
"Thanks, but I'd rather we get this over with," I say, sitting in an armchair, crossing my arms over my chest.
She sits in another chair across from me and slaps her hands down on her thighs. "Okay then. Let's just get to it." She looks up at me, and her expression morphs before my eyes. What I see makes my heart seize.
Regret.
"Ben was offered the job, and if he takes it, he can start as early as next month."
"Where?" I croak out.
"Washington state. The Seattle area."
My head bobs in a nod and I swallow hard. "Do I even get a say about this?"
"Of course you get a say, Edward. You're his father. That's why I'm talking to you about it. We've always handled things together—made decisions about Seth together—and something this big shouldn't be only my decision. But it's not just us this one affects."
"If you"—I clear my suddenly thick throat—"If Ben accepts their offer, when would—"
"It would either be right away, before school starts next month or near the end of the first semester. Ben wants us with him right away, but I think it would be rushing things. I'd have the house to pack up, and I'll have to look for a job up there. But more than likely it would be late December. I want to be settled before the baby comes."
I'm silent, taking it all in. The entire time she's talking, though, I'm fucking dying inside.
"I know this is sudden," she's quick to say, "but it's too good an opportunity to pass up. Ben wasn't looking for it, but when they contacted him, it felt like the right move."
"Can I ... Can Seth stay with me?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.
Her expression softens, along with her tone. "I know we've never done anything official about custody and visitation, but I am his custodial parent. Even if we went to court, I'd have the advantage. But I really don't want to do that. We've always worked really well together deciding what was best for him. I don't see any reason why we can't come to some agreement this time."
"Yeah, well, those other times never included taking my son fifteen hundred miles away," I snap. I close my eyes and rub my hands over my face. "How can you expect me to be okay with this, Ang?" I meet her eyes. "How am I going to see him? You can't— Please don't ask me to be okay with this."
"There are direct flights between Seattle and Tucson, and I'm more than happy to send him down here once a month for a weekend and some holidays. I'll even pay for you to come up to see him if school gets in the way. And you can have him for a long stretch in the summer. We can make it work."
"Fuck," I murmur.
"I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do."
"So, you want to shuttle our kid back and forth like a goddamn FedEx package?"
"That's not fair."
"Why is Ben so anxious to uproot all of you anyway? I thought he was happy here."
"He is, but he's also been commuting to Tucson for the last six years so Seth would be closer to you. He's been more than flexible, on your behalf, Edward. Look, I won't argue all the reasons this is a good move for us, because I don't have to justify our decisions, but I am asking you to think about what's best for Seth. He'll have opportunities in Seattle he won't have here. Yes, he'll be farther away from you, but I won't keep you from seeing him. I've never kept you from seeing him."
Staring at my boots, I mull over what she's told me, not liking it one goddamn bit. "I'm going to miss half his life, Ang."
"I know, and I'm sorry. But I really think this is best for him."
"What if—" I stop myself, unwilling to get my hopes up.
"What if what?"
I look up at her. "What if he stayed with me for one more school year."
She opens her mouth, to tell me all the reasons that's not a good idea, I'm sure, but I raise my hand and cut her off, getting more excited as I speak. "Hear me out. You come and go and do your thing—find a place, get a job up there, pack the house, whatever the fuck you need to do. We keep up the arrangement we've had all along. When you're here, he stays with me half the time and with you half the time. When you're ready to head to Washington permanently, he stays with me, goes to school and finishes up the year instead of being transferred mid-year. And Ben won't have to be without his pregnant wife for months. I'll even bring Seth up when you have the baby. Then we can work on the details of visitation and everything."
"You're asking me to leave my son here while I move halfway across the country?"
I raise a brow. "It's for less than a year, Angela. I think it's more than reasonable. Especially when you think about what you're asking of me."
The gavel falls, and I lean back in my chair, absolutely not in the mood to deal with this shit tonight. I take a drag on my cigarette, hoping the nicotine can calm my frayed as fuck nerves. But as soon as Pop opens his mouth, that hope flies out the window.
"García's asked us to make a special delivery for him on our way to Sturgis next month," he says.
My first instinct is to groan, but I swallow that shit down. Instead, I stare at him, my jaw tense and my teeth ground together. He knows without me opening my mouth that I'm pissed.
Making deliveries for García was never the plan.
"We don't move his shit, Pop," I grind out. "That wasn't part of the agreement."
"It's a favor to him for delaying our last shipment to him." He levels me with his own stare. "And it'll be lucrative for us. We'll make the drop on our way north, then we'll meet up with Biers on our way back into town. Drop García's shipment to him and make a bonus in the process. I don't see any reason to say no."
"Because after this, he'll use us as his bitch, and we'll be moving that garbage for him," I argue, looking around the table. "Are any of you actually okay with this shit?"
The faces looking back at me are mixed. I see apprehension in a few, but I can also see a few eyes lit up at the prospect of extra cash. I shake my head and chuckle mirthlessly as I stub out my smoke.
"As I was saying," Pop continues, "we make this run for García and get a decent payout. If he calls on us again in the future"—he shrugs—"we'll put it to another vote."
Ideas are tossed around about how to transport the quantities Pop is suggesting, along with what García is expecting of us, and a plan is made. When the vote goes around the table, I'm the last to have a say, but it's pointless. Everyone else's greed seems to override all common sense.
I storm out of the chapel and push past the few people lingering in the main room. Pop calls out for me as I go out the door, but I ignore him. I'm on my bike and peeling out of the lot before anyone can stop me.
All the shit that's happened in the last couple of days flashes through my head—Mom's half-assed attempt to set things straight with Bella, Angela moving away with my son, and now the club making drug runs for García—and it all boils over.
I pull back on the throttle and speed out of town, chasing the sun as it starts to sink into the horizon. I ride for what feels like hours, until the stars are lighting my path. When the only thing I can see for miles is fields of saguaros, I pull off to the side of the road and cut the engine, pulling a smoke from my pocket and lighting it up.
I feel like I'm at a crossroads. Angela is taking my son fifteen hundred fucking miles away from me. Pop is being blinded by dollar signs, and if he takes the club down this path, I know I don't want to be a part of it. I'm not even sure I want to stick around and see how it ends.
The only things keeping me from riding off and never looking back are Bella and the boys ... the family I need to be focused on right now.
And as if she knows I need to know she's with me, my phone buzzes in my pocket with a text from her.
Hope everything is okay. I didn't hear from you after you talked to Ang. I'm worried about you. Call me when you can. Or just come by tonight. Love you. - B
And just like that, the walls that feel like they're closing in on me pull back. I flick my cigarette into the road and start my bike.
It's time to go home.
A/N: What kind of compromise do you think Edward will be able to come to with Angela? What will Bella think about the news? And what is the club getting themselves into now? Anyone else think working with García is a very bad idea? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
***RL is kicking us in the tail, my friends. I'm still hard at work, writing, but posting may slow down in the coming weeks as my family preps for the return to school for my boys ... whatever that's going to look like. Just a heads up that you may not see a chapter of this or Shift every week. But I'll still be around. The best place to stay in touch with me and know what's going on is in my FB group.
And speaking of Shift ... I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, reading Bella with someone else, but I think you're really missing out on what DrivingEdward called the "meat" of the story. ;) And the numbers are telling me only about a third of my Clutch readers are reading Shift. I encourage you to give it a chance, if only to see how they all ended up where they are now.
Don't forget, I've posted the Clutch and Shift outtakes as a separate story on my profile. Be sure to check it out.
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Be kind.
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Lots of love
~Sunshine