- You Have Selected [KNIGHT CODY HASSLES]

[PREVIOUS ENTRY]

Member: Knight Cody A. Hassles
Service Number: HS-184K
Date of Birth: 04-16-2261
Date of Death: 12-02-2287
Place of Death: Commonwealth
Chapter: East Coast
Duty Stations: Adams AFB, Citadel
Noted Engagements: Battlezone 833 DC, Battlezone 036 CW
Tech Recovered: Botanical Matter Vaporization Unit, AER-10P Thermal Optic Blueprints
Archive Submission: Audio Transcription

[Holotape recording transcribed by LH Level 3 Scribes for Archive Submission. Playable audio file unavailable through this terminal – See Senior Scribe Jonas Eckler for original holotape]

[Beginning Transcription]

Saved User "Knight Thomas" Speaking
Bro, check this ou- Wait, what are you doing?"

Saved User "Knight Cody" Speaking
Just fixing this recorder for that… There we go… That project I'm working on.

Knight Thomas Speaking
Cool… But, dude. Check this out… This is that Glock 87 Plasma Pistol. Thing's even more badass and shoots a bigger bolt than the 86.

Knight Cody Speaking
That's fucking sick, dude. No way! It has the RHS-77A Operator grip!? I need to find one of those for my AEP-7 I'm sick of the grip on mine.

Knight Thomas Speaking
Right!? Wish we could order from this catalogue. Fuckin nukes fuck up everything.

Knight Cody Speaking
Right!? I wanted t-

*Nearby door opens*

Knight Cody/Knight Thomas Speaking
Austiiiiin!

Knight Cody Speaking
What's up brotha!?

Knight Thomas Speaking
What's up, my man!?

Saved User "Lancer Austin" Speaking
Not much guys! Yall ready to watch that movie? I spent all my alcohol rations as soon as I got off, and got the movie right here!-

Knight Thomas Speaking
Yah, dude! You gotta check this out though!

Lancer Austin Speaking
What's this? An old army catalog?

Knight Thomas Speaking
Yeah! Look at this. This is the Gobi Warfare HX21 Combat Chest Protector I was telling you about! Has the "Desert Viper" paint scheme and everything!

Lancer Austin Speaking
That's really cool. You should keep an eye open for one next time you're on a scav run.

Knight Thomas Speaking
I would, but they only made those on the west coast. Good luck finding that kinda gear in DC-

Knight Cody Speaking
Dude, show him the CZ-83 gatling prototype in there.

*Sounds of flipping through pages*

Lancer Austin Speaking
Oh hey, Knight Vince is stopping bye to drop of that sensor unit optic cable you needed.

Knight Cody Speaking
Sweet, du-

Knight Thomas Speaking
Austin. Check this out.

Lancer Austin Speaking
That's awesome… Look at that? Has the tri-barrel syste-

Knight Cody Speaking
Oh yeah? Thomas, weren't you gonna tell me about what happened at the range today?

Knight Thomas Speaking
Right! So, after I finished with the Initiate rifle quals, the range was open to anyone. Shift was almost over when that Smoking Hot Scribe showed up-

Lancer Austin Speaking
Did you get me her barracks number and shift she gets off?

Knight Thomas Speaking
Shut up, Ha! But, she was practicing for her Scribe pistol qual, and holding her AEP all weird. I had to help her because her hands were about to melted by the vents. I would have kicked her off my range for all the violations she did if she wasn't so hot, Haha!

Lancer Austin Speaking
Shoulda got her barracks number and shift, I was planning on being "Lost" and stumbling across her, Haha!

Knight Cody Speaking
Dude, Thomas, remember that tool at the range with the Automatic AEP-8?

Knight Thomas Speaking
That fuckin guy!? Ha!-

Knight Cody Speaking
Dude, Austin, that guy was alone after his shift and, tell him what happened...

Knight Thomas Speaking
This guy starts getting mad that he's missing his shots, and I walk him out to his target to see all his shots landed above the target. He said, "It's the wind" and that he needs to calibrate his pistol sights to compensate for it! Haha!

Lancer Austin Speaking
Was the poor guy brain damaged or something? Haha!

Knight Cody Speaking
Right!? Haha!

Knight Thomas Speaking
I was like, "Dude, you're using a LASER pistol! Just point and shoot!"

Knight Cody Speaking
I love when Scribes think they know what they're doing with their weapons!

Knight Thomas Speaking
No offense, Austin.

Lancer Austin Speaking
None taken, I'm a Lancer. I did my two weeks of Knight Infantry Haha!-

*Nearby door opens then closes*

Knight Cody/Knight Thomas/Lancer Austin Speaking
Vinceeent!

Saved User "Knight Vince" Speaking
Wassup guys? I'm just dropping off that sensor optic cable for Knight Cody.

Lancer Austin Speaking
You wanna stick around and watch this movie with us?

Knight Vince Speaking
Can't guys, I gotta take off.

Knight Cody/Knight Thomas/Lancer Austin Speaking
Later, dude!

*Nearby door opens then closes*

Lancer Austin Speaking
You guys ready to watch that movie?

Knight Thomas Speaking
Which movie is it?

Lancer Austin Speaking
Only the most badass prewar movie of all time!... So they say. "Anchorage: 2066!"

Knight Cody Speaking
Hook that shit up, brotha!

[3 minutes and 22 seconds pass]

Lancer Austin Speaking
Are you two ready for the awesomest cinematic experience of your lives?

Knight Cody Speaking
Fuck yeah, dude.

Knight Thomas Speaking
Have you seen this before, Austin? Ha!

Lancer Austin Speaking
Shut up, Ha! No, I haven't…

[16 minutes and 17 cinematically astounding seconds pass]

*Fantastic holotape movie plays in background*

Lancer Austin Speaking
What!? What's a woman doing on the Anchorage front line!? The draft didn't put women in combat roles until the first draft of 2067!?

Knight Cody Speaking
You can thank the old beatniks in "Hollywood" for that inaccuracy, Ha!

[3 minutes and 2 cinematically astounding seconds pass]

Lancer Austin Speaking
Oh Shit! The Reds just landed!

Knight Thomas Speaking
Dude, Cody! Look at that dude's grip on his rifle! Finger on the trigger while talking to the Captain.

Knight Cody Speaking
Guy's gonna kill him! Captain! Get down! Hahaha!

Lancer Austin Speaking
Shit's about to hit the fan!

[7 minutes and 43 unbelievably action packed seconds pass]

Knight Thomas Speaking
Bro! That dude is using an M72 Gauss Rifle with the HPO388 Recon Scope!

Knight Cody Speaking
Basic grunt using a scope made in 2074!? "Oh, Ok Dude!?" Haha!

Lancer Austin Speaking
Guys, you don't get it. He's a time traveler. Haha!

[5 minutes and 31 unbelievably action packed seconds pass]

*Explosions and horrific death cry nearby*

Knight Cody/Knight Thomas/Lancer Austin Speaking
"AAAARRGGH!"

Knight Cody Speaking
There went his arm!

Knight Thomas Speaking
Look, Austin! That guy has an M90 gas mask with a minigun. Your favorite! Haha!

Lancer Austin Speaking
And no sleeves either!? In sub zero temperatures!? That's fucking impressive! Haha!

Knight Cody Speaking
His red hot American blood and patriotism keeps him warm! Haha!

Lancer Austin Speaking
Fuck! Chinese chemical strike!

Knight Thomas Speaking
Now there's a reason for the gas mask.

[13 minutes and 10 unbelievably action packed seconds pass]

Lancer Austin Speaking
Fuck, dude! Anchorage fell!? Who'da saw that coming!?

Knight Cody Speaking
The time traveler saw that coming! Haha!

Knight Thomas Speaking
Oh yeah! Run to the oil fields, Corporal Jones! Chinese bombers would expect you to flee to the mountains! Haha!

Lancer Austin Speaking
He's pulling a fast one on the Chinese observers!

[2 minutes and 42 unbelievably action packed seconds pass]

Knight Cody Speaking
They're comin for ya, Corporal Jones!

*Loud explosion noises nearby*

Lancer Austin Speaking
He's alive! How the hell did he survive that bombardment!?

Knight Cody Speaking
Oh shit! Chinese Commandos!

Knight Thomas Speaking
Dude, Austin! That commando's got a drum mag on his Type 93 and an LD11 holo sight.

Lancer Austin Speaking
I see that, I'm so hard right now. Hahaha! Fuck! General Pheng is gonna kill him!

*Horrific death cry nearby*

Knight Cody/Knight Thomas/Lancer Austin Speaking
"HGGAAAHKK!"

Lancer Austin Speaking
They got Corporal Jones!

Knight Cody Speaking
Fuckin Reds, man.

Knight Thomas Speaking
Fuckin Reds, man.

Lancer Austin Speaking
Two guys left in the company. Sergeant Michaels, and Private Whatshisname.

[17 minutes and 27 unbelievably action packed and dramatic seconds pass]

*Loud explosion nearby*

Lancer Austin Speaking
Not Sergeant Michaels!

Knight Thomas Speaking
It's like that time tha-

Knight Cody Speaking
Hang on! Let's hear this!-

Lancer Austin Speaking
Turn it up!

Unknown Voice Speaking
… I… I… Take this letter, Private *Uurgh* Williams. I-

Lancer Austin Speaking
Williams! That was his name!

Unknown Voice Speaking
I aint takin it, Sarn't!

*Dramatic as fuck bloody cough sounds*

Unknown Voice Speaking
Donchu damned Dah on me, Sarn't!... NO!

Knight Thomas Speaking
"Come and get some you commie sons of bitches!"

Unknown Voice Speaking
Come and get some you commie sons of bitches!

Lancer Austin Speaking
You've seen this before!

Knight Cody Speaking
Hahaha!

Knight Thomas Speaking
No I haven't! You can see that line coming a mile away!

[8 minutes and 18 unbelievably action packed and dramatic seconds pass]

Lancer Austin Speaking
Private Williams! NO!

Knight Cody Speaking
Guy survived like 200 gunshots in 5 minutes Haha!

Knight Thomas Speaking
Fuckin Reds, man.

Lancer Austin Speaking
Fuckin Reds, man.

*Horrific death cry nearby*

Knight Cody/Knight Thomas/Lancer Austin Speaking
"HGGURGH!" "GAAAAAH!"

Knight Cody Speaking
That was fuckin intense-

Lancer Austin Speaking
Wait! Is that it!?

*Sounds of mumble reading*

Knight Thomas Speaking
Shit! Now it's just a cinematic of Americans preparing for war!

*Sounds of nearby door opening and closing*

Saved User "Knight Sergeant Wilson" Speaking
Everyone alright in here!?

[8 seconds of silence pass]

Knight Thomas Speaking
Yeah? Why?

Knight Sergeant Wilson Speaking
It sounded like someone was being murdered in here!?

Knight Cody Speaking
Oh, nope. It was just us. My bros got the night off and we were watching this intense holotape movie… It's over now.

Knight Sergeant Wilson Speaking
Which movie? We've had reports of noise complaints from the rec room all night.

Lancer Austin Speaking
Anchorage: 2066.

Knight Sergeant Wilson Speaking
No-Fucking-Way! Let me watch it! You guys are out of beer!? Here! I'll run to my room for the beer I saved up! I'll be right back! don't start it without me again!

*Sounds of door opening and footsteps rapidly fading down a hallway*

Lancer Austin Speaking
You guys down to watch it again!?

Knight Cody Speaking
Fuck Yeah!

Knight Thomas Speaking
You know, I just hope when I die, I go out like Corporal Jones.

Knight Cody Speaking
You mean like, "HGGAAAHKK!"?

Knight Cody/Knight Thomas/Lancer Austin Speaking
"HGGAAAHKK!" Hahahaha!

*Beeping sounds*

Knight Cody Speaking
Fuck! I had my recorder on the whole time! Where's my charg-

[Transcription Ended]

Legacy: Knight Cody A. Hassles was killed on 12-02-2287 alongside his best friend, Knight Thomas Robler when the Vertibird they were in crashed on it's way to reinforce the Commonwealth Expeditionary Force. Upon recovery of the fated Vertibird's black box, the audio file showed that they both did in fact go, "HGGAAAHKK!" as they perished. May they rest in peace.

[NEXT ENTRY]

*Inspiration for this entry came from my brothers and best friends since we always give our own color commentary throughout any movie we have ever watched together Lol! Love you guys, and hope yall enjoyed this!*