A/N: Thank you all for the love you continue to pour into this story even as uploads remain inconsistent. I'm also thinking of starting to rewrite some of my old stories and make them more… my style now that I'm older and can actually string two sentences together. Please let me know if there's anything on my page you'd like me to re-write/re-imagine. I also thank everyone for their kind reviews. As an adult I know how much this community has meant to me over the course of my life and knowing there are still people out there like me who read and enjoy these types of stories warms my heart! Alright, on with the chapter!

Song: Yesterday: The Beatles

Lyrics: "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away."

Summary: Blaine has been away from home for far too long and he's starting to really feel the sting of being away from his husband.

Rating: T: a little angsty and some conversations that could be interpreted as sexual. There is a self-harm reference a little more than halfway through… honestly, if you're reading my stories you should expect some kind of sex, self-harm, or alcohol/drug use at this point if it's rated T or above. Is that a bad thing? Or am I just using fictional characters as escapism to write through my own issues? The world may never know… it's the second one… in case you were wondering.

As soon as the lights dimmed Blaine was running past security and into the dark backroom, scrambling for his phone that his manager had to all but rip out of his hands 4 hours earlier so he wouldn't be late for mic check. With speed and expert precision, his fingers flew over the buttons and he pressed the speaker to his ear. It was late on the east coast, almost 1am, but he had to try. He didn't know if he could go another 24-48 hours without hearing his husband's voice. "hmmm Bl'ne?" The sleepy voice came through the phone and he pushed it closer to his ear, trying to soak in every little noise.

"Hey. I know it's late… I just.. I needed to hear your voice." A husky laugh came from the other end. "I love you and it was a great show, but I just wish you could be here with me, Kurt."

"I know. But, what? Only another 3 weeks and then you're home, B."

Blaine nodded, "Yea. Then the record label is going to talk to me about sales and if we should do another tour over the summer."

"I'm so proud of you." Kurt's voice sounded a little more awake and the way he spoke made Blaine all but melt. He missed going to sleep in his king-size bed and waking up wrapped around the love of his life.

"I don't know if I can do this again."

"You can. Blaine, this is your dream. This is what you've talked about for years." Kurt sighed. "I know you miss me but this is great. You're living everything you wanted to in high school, you need to relax and enjoy all the little moments."

Blaine sniffed a bit, trying to call back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I don't want to enjoy them without you."

"Oh, Blaine…" Kurt whispered down the phone line "It's okay. It'll all be okay, I promise. At least just get through the next three weeks okay?"

"Okay… I love you."

"I love you too."

Blaine pressed the phone to his ear again. It was only 9 pm on the east coast, what could Kurt possibly be doing that he was too busy to pick up a phone call? He never missed one of Blaine's calls… ever. Not even when he got off the stage and it was 2 am back in New York. Kurt had promised that he would never ignore a call. He knew it might not be a realistic promise, but it was what he clung to. It was a promise he needed to get through the day.

Blaine closed his eyes and leaned against the cement wall of the backstage area. He still had a little over a week left in this tour and then some one-off shows on the east coast before he could go back home full time. The moment he was experiencing now was what he had feared the entire time he was away. A long stretch without his husband, them starting to grow apart… wandering eyes turning into wandering hands. He took in a sharp breath, not willing his mind to go there.

"Hey, Kurt." Blaine started his message, willing his voice to not be watery. He didn't want his husband to know just how miserable he was as his heart yearned to be curled up in their home. A few weeks away was fine, but 4 months? This was an undertaking Blaine hadn't been prepared for. "I just wanted to say that I love you and I miss you. I won't be able to call after the show tonight, Aaron wants me to go to a meeting with some guys who want to organize some shows in the area when I get home. I miss you and I just really love you and can't wait to come home. Talk to you tomorrow."

As soon as he hit the red 'end call' button and the screen went dark Blaine hurled the phone across the room, watching as the screen seemed to splinter under the hard floor. "Fuck," he mumbled to himself. This would be the third phone he destroyed on this tour, but the first one that had actually been his fault. After all, how was he supposed to know that the prop table would crush it? But, this had been different. This time he did it himself, his upset and anger had caused him to become irrational. He hadn't been like this since high school, and that last time he had been truly impulsive he had almost ruined his relationship forever.

"You good over there, B?" Aaron came around the corner with a frown on his face. "You have mic check in about 2 hours, how about you go back to the hotel and get some sleep? You don't need to be here this early."

Blaine just shook his head and grabbed a water bottle before sauntering off toward the blackened stage. "I gotta make sure it's set up right." His manger just sighed behind him.

"You told me he was okay!" Kurt yelled as he ran right into Aaron's arms at the entrance of the hospital.

"You can't be here right now."

Kurt saw red. "He is my HUSBAND! Like hell, I can't be here! What the fuck, Aaron?!"

The older man held Kurt's arms in front of him, the terrified countertenor shaking as he struggled to get to the glass double doors. "It's a security risk right now. We found him when we went to get him for the meet and greets. There's fans and paparazzi and news everywhere right now. We can't have you going in there like this. We don't even know 100% what's wrong yet, if someone sees you the tabloids will be full of lies and gossip about his condition. Is that really what we want or need right now?"

"Well this shouldn't be a we thing seeing as you and your team OBVIOUSLY wasn't keeping a good enough eye on him in the first place!" Kurt let his arms drop to his side and flexed his fists. "I'm the only one that can make medical decisions for him if he's not in his right state of mind and I need to see him. Get me in there, Aaron or I swear to God this will be the last day you work."

Aaron just sighed and held out a keycard. "I never said you couldn't see him. I just said you couldn't go in there right now," he gestured vaguely to the main entrance that was crammed with people. "Go see your husband."

Kurt took the card gingerly and used the edge of his shoulder to wipe away some stray tears. "Thanks."

"For what it's worth we really thought he was doing okay. I knew he was having a hard time, but I didn't think…"

"You think he did it to himself?" Kurt winced even thinking about it. Yes, Blaine had some tendencies in high school and their first year or so of college but that was mostly with things like food and working out. He would push himself beyond his limits and although his therapist said that was also a form of harm, he had never actually hurt himself. The idea that Blaine had been backsliding so badly and one knew made the waves of nausea rise in his stomach.

"I don't know, Kurt. We didn't think so either but the doctors said it looked… possibly intentional."

Kurt's entire body seemed to tense up a bit as he stared at Aaron, disbelief in his blue eyes. It was only supposed to be 4 months, it wasn't supposed to get this bad. "Was he telling you what he was worried about? Kurt started to walk toward the back locked entrance, motioning for Aaron to follow who did so dutifully.

"Not really. The last thing he said two nights ago was—" He stopped for a second, looking quizzically at the fashionable husband of his client and friend. "Kurt?"

"Yea?" Kurt swiped the keycard through the reader and let them both through the door and into a bare concrete room that smelled almost too perfectly sterile. Kurt took in a sharp breath. He had never liked hospitals, he had too many bad memories attached. His mother's death, his father's ailments, holding Blaine's hand after the slushy in senior year, the days following his bashing in college… those memories all seemed to come back when he entered a hospital. But, he pushed those feelings aside and met Aaron's eyes, waiting for the man to ask the question that seemed to be lodged in his throat.

"Where were you Friday night?"

"Working…" Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "I got caught up late at the office and the suit I was working on had to be finished by yesterday afternoon." He paused. "What does that have to do with Blaine?"

"Friday night he just wasn't in a good head space after the show. I didn't think anything of it, we had some pretty bad tech difficulties and I've seen artists really lose it this close to the end when everything seems to be falling apart but… he said something before he went back to the hotel after our meeting… he uhm…" The older man paused not knowing how to quite phrase his thoughts.

"What?" Kurt paused his walking, hand frozen on the handle in front of him. "I need to know before I got in there."

"He said you hadn't picked up his call."

"My phone died and when I got home he would have been on stage."

"That's what I told him… and he said… uhm… 'the last time I felt like this I did something really bad.'" Kurt blinked a few times and thought back to the last time they had real genuine problems. "He said that last time he felt like this he really hurt you and that he needed to go back to his room and just sleep before—"

"He was talking about senior year," Kurt basically whispered, cutting the other man off. "He was talking about when he cheated on me."

Aaron scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "He… what? Blaine? You sure we're talking about the same person? Because I don't think I've ever seen him even look at another man the entire time I've known him."

"Yea… he was a senior in high school and I was ignoring him while I was in college. I didn't mean to but he… he has this thing where when he gets into a depressive episode, he just self-destructs. He's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, doing the things people accuse him of or what he sees himself as, even if it's wrong. We know now that's what he does and we've taken steps to correct that but… I… wow… I can't believe he went back that far. He was," as soon as the thought was there he felt the bile rising in his throat. "He hurt himself so that he wouldn't hurt me…"

Kurt steadied himself against the door for a few moments before speaking again. "I'm going to go in there alone and I'm going to talk to my husband and then we are all going to talk after that. He needs time, Aaron. A 4-month stint away from home may not be an option again. He needs to stay safe, his mental health matters."

"I agree."

"So, we'll talk to you and the label. Maybe he can do smaller tours or take breaks?"

Aaron sighed and put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "They were going to offer him Europe just so you know." Kurt smiled sadly. "I know that was his goal, to travel the whole world and share his music."

"He'll get there. We'll get through this and he'll get there, Aaron. I promise."

With that, Kurt knocked once on the door and stepped through. As the door clicked shut and Aaron turned to walk away he heard the obvious cry of joy and then of pain that Blaine let out as he saw his husband for the first time in months.

"Hmmmm I think we should go… there" Kurt tapped his index finger on the map of Ireland sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Really? But, it's so…. Small?"

"Blaine," Kurt leaned forward to give his husband a kiss on the cheek. "Just think. Maybe there's a kid there that loves music and wants to be a part of the magic when they grow up and seeing you could be their only chance to experience this type of music live. We were small-town kids once too, remember?"

Blaine could only laugh. "This is even smaller than Lima. I think the number of sheep and goats outnumber people. I don't even know if they have somewhere I can play."

"Well then maybe we just have to go on one of our free days. I'm sure there's a pub they'd let you play in. You could try out one or two of those new songs that record won't let you slip into your sets yet."

"That sounds… perfect." Blaine sighed as he picked at his avocado toast. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world aren't I?"

Kurt smiled, recalling a similar conversation 5 years ago on the steps of their first New York home. "Pretty much." He leaned in for a hug but was caught off guard as Blaine tilted his head and pressed their lips together softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm so happy that you're coming with me."

Kurt smiled and closed the travel brochure to slip it into his suitcase later. "There is nowhere else I'd rather be. And, I get to take my work with me so it's not like I'm actually missing anything."

"You'll miss it here…" Blaine smirked as he started pushing his husband back toward their bedroom. "You'll miss the city and the hustle and bustle" They kissed again. "You'll miss our couch and those curtains you had hand made because you couldn't find what you wanted." Bodies pressed together and experienced hands found belt buckles. "You'll miss our bed…" Blaine trailed off a little as his knees made a soft thud against the edge of their mattress.

"Then maybe we'll just have to make sure that the hotels they book on this tour have the comfiest beds and the nicest showers."

Blaine hummed in agreement as he let his body fall on his husband, his weight pressing the other man down into the mattress. "I think if that's our only request… it can be arranged."

A/N: That was a fun one to write! What's funny is how different the ending is from where I started. When I started the chapter I had a clear vision of where it was headed and then halfway through the boys veered off and went their own way. Interesting how that happens sometimes. As always, thank you for reading and I'll "see" you all next time!