CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Dawncloud sat in a meadow.

She sat in a meadow, in front of a cave, and she hurt.

The cliff wall towered above her. The cave was the only way through, and though it was short, it was blocked on one side, rocks piled high until no light could shine through. She knew if she let the fantasy fade that she would be left instead on the edge of a fraying mind, staring out into the blackness, the gossamer threads under her paws stretching out into nothing. There was something on the other side, in the darkness, but she couldn't see it.

They weren't supposed to be fighting – they had done this before, moons ago, and sworn never to do it again. They had to stop the Dark Forest. There were so many things that they needed each other for. But Dawncloud had kept that secret and now she could hardly remember why; one quick decision to spare Sootclaw agony had built up over moons to become something both powerful and devastating. She deserved his anger.

But the Dark Forest… she winced. She shouldn't have doubted him. Sootclaw would do the right thing – he always did, in the end. He wasn't anything like his father. StarClan, he was hardly the same warrior as he was when she slipped into the coma! Dawncloud just needed to breathe, to let the anxiety rush out of her, to gather up those sparks of fear and worry and pain and exhale them into the ether.

Dawncloud opened her eyes. She was not in a meadow, not before a cave, but at the base of a large rocky slope leading down through the mountains. The peaks which were home to the Tribe were far above them now, imposing silhouettes fading as they rose toward thick grey clouds. They had stopped for water from a small stream that trickled between rocks and down the cliff, and so Dawncloud could gather herself. She hadn't explicitly told Thickfur what was wrong, but she had been quiet after the argument, and slow. He had sensed something was off, and so they had all paused for a break.

Thickfur and Heron were making a surprising amount of idle conversation, though for Thickfur, any amount of idle conversation was out of the ordinary. It was mostly Heron discussing the mountains, pointing out branching paths or bird's nests. Alderthorn sat nearby, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the cool mountain breeze. As soon as Thickfur saw that Dawncloud had opened her eyes and was once again focused, he padded over to her. "Are you ready to continue?"

"In a moment," she murmured, reaching her neck down to the stream. The water was so cold it stung her mouth. Unbidden, the lake flashed in her mind as it reflected red from the fires of the plane crash, and Sootclaw's anguished cry pierced deep within her heart. Dawncloud shook it off.

"Do you… want to talk about it?" he asked, rather stiltedly.

She glanced him over, broad grey stripes and surprisingly soft amber eyes, and offered him a reluctant smile. "Not yet. Let's keep moving."

Thickfur nodded, returning her smile with a worried one of his own. On instinct, Dawncloud expected a sassy remark from Sootclaw, who always seemed to be paying attention at these moments. But the remark didn't come and her stomach dropped. He just needs to cool down, she told herself.

Heron led them back down the rocky path and soon they could hardly see the peaks at all, just the base of the large mountains surrounding them, hard and made of cold stone that felt distinctly unfriendly as Dawncloud wandered through their shadows. It began to rain, and soon she was soaked down to the bone, feeling very much like a wet rat. Thickfur didn't fare much better; he looked absolutely bedraggled as the rain pelted him, a familiar grumpiness present on his face. Alderthorn looked more comfortable than either of them due to his thin fur, but his expression was still grim. Only Heron didn't seem to mind; she was sleek and swam through the rain like a fish. Idly, Dawncloud wondered how much Clan heritage the Tribe cats had. And the other way around, she realized.

The rain turned into a thick, grey mist, light enough that they could move more quickly but damp enough that Dawncloud stayed drenched. Her eyes fell on Thickfur's shoulders, moving rhythmically ahead of her. He had once lashed out at her, when she had been just a new apprentice, for not wanting to patrol in a heavy rainstorm. At the time, she had been incredulous that the rain didn't bother Thickfur. Now, of course, she knew that it did. His mindset had just been if I have to suffer, so do you.

He turned back toward her and she realized she had fallen behind while caught up in her thoughts. "Do try and keep up," he mewed, but his eyes were gentle, and the concern hidden in his tone had become obvious to her. She looked away quickly, finding a spot on the ground, a rock out of place, anywhere but straight at him.

He's really changed.

.

At last they reached the bottom of the mountains, where Heron led them into a small cave. The opening was small, and rimmed with stalactites. Dawncloud felt as though she were squeezing into a mouth. She shivered as she did so, not feeling particularly fond of caves at the moment. But once they were inside, the cavern opened up, and she saw moss nests and a small pool of water.

"One of the Tribe's outposts," Dawncloud guessed.

Heron nodded. "We stop in here on long journeys. It's better than crossing the open fields at night – not with the badger about."

"Makes sense," said Alderthorn, who was walking a lap around the cave. He had been quiet most of the journey. She hadn't asked him how he felt leaving without Chantelle, and he had not volunteered the information.

Dawncloud turned to Thickfur, who had entered the cave just in front of her. "How's your shoulder?" she asked. He wasn't limping now, but the day's journey had been long.

He shrugged. "A bit sore. Considering what happened, though, I can't complain."

Dawncloud smiled. "I'm sure you could find a way," she said, and the amount of affection in her words surprised her.

It surprised Thickfur too. He blinked at her. "Um. How's your paw?"

She twisted her ankle experimentally. "Fine. It twinges a bit if I step on it funny, but…"

Neither of them said anything after that, and a moment passed where they were just looking at each other, and Dawncloud swore she could see wonder in Thickfur's eyes. Then Heron padded over to them. "We should hunt," said the blue she-cat.

"It's going to be miserable to scent anything in this," said Thickfur, but there was no malice in his tone as he walked back to the cave opening. Alderthorn followed him.

"I'm going to stay here," Dawncloud said. "There's something I need to do – "

Heron looked confused, but didn't argue. Both Alderthorn and Thickfur accepted the words easily, now used to the strangeness inherent in her abilities. "We'll be back soon," Thickfur said, glancing at the heavy mists. "We shouldn't spend any more time out there than necessary."

Dawncloud wasn't sure it would make a difference; the dampness that clung to her didn't feel like it would dissipate no matter how much time she spent indoors. But that didn't matter right now. "Be safe," she told him, and then after a pause, she looked over at Heron and Alderthorn as well. "All of you."

They nodded and exited the den. Dawncloud sighed and slumped down against the cold rock floor. She didn't curl up in a nest; the thought of the moss sticking to her soaked, itchy pelt was unbearable. Instead she stretched out on the stone, placed her muzzle on her paws, and closed her eyes.

She didn't visualize the cave, not this time. No, this time she let herself see her mind in all of its painful beauty. She saw where Sootclaw had been stitched in to her, and the scars that remained from when he had been ripped away by the Dark Forest. Now the tendrils of his mind curled up into hers, though further down their path she could feel the barrier he had placed up, an invisible wall that repelled her, that left her once again outside looking in.

The tendrils of their minds seemed inextricable. A tangled web binding them permanently together. But Dawncloud was patient, and she would extricate them. I will go back to the Clans, she thought, and I will find you and we will fix this. But for now… and then she divided them with slow, painstaking work, tenderly unhooking every frond, lovingly caressing the edges of his mind away from hers, setting him free into the darkness.

It hurt. It hurt so terribly. Before it had happened all at once, like her heart had been torn out. Now it was a slow-burning pain, a thousand splinters digging under her skin. When it was done she was gasping and shaking and she felt empty. She needed him back desperately. It was horrible and irrational, a terrible thing to feel such an unshakeable physical need for another, and she felt his absence like she was missing part of herself.

Because she was. StarClan put a part of us in each other.

But she needed to be free, because she needed to throw her mind somewhere much, much further.

Down.

Dawncloud closed her eyes and fell.

.

She thought the darkness would be cold. Icy. Like plunging into the bottom of the lake. Maybe it had been like that before, when she had needed to visualize her path. Now, though, she was stronger. Clearer. The darkness did not feel like anything at all. She let herself move downward and she found the filaments of her mind that had once touched his, that remembered how it felt to intertwine, and she called his name: Shredtail.

From somewhere, deep, came an incredulous reply. Dawncloud?

She pushed toward him and found the glowing threads of his mind, marvelling at how easy it was to find him now. His mind was dark, but had a sheen to it, like a black rock after rain. When she touched his mind, it shuddered, and for a moment she was nearly pulled into it as she had been the first time, thrown into the roiling waves of his memories, but this time, Dawncloud resisted.

Still, she could feel that she was trespassing, that this was somewhere fragile and holy and not-for-her. Despite the vileness and cruelty of his past, the long scars of trauma that ran across the twisting filaments, she felt a kinship with him, and compassion. The act of touching minds was incredibly intimate; sometimes she took it for granted, what she shared with Sootclaw. But this bond with another cat… she remembered being outside Thickfur's mind, and thought of how it would feel to dive in, and she shivered.

Hi, Shredtail.

You found me again, he said.

I need to know what's happening, down there, and in StarClan. We haven't heard anything from them. Not for the moons before she had left, anyway.

StarClan has stopped visiting the Clans. They don't want to risk giving the Dark Forest any more ground – though at this point, they have just delayed the process. The attack is soon.

We're prepared, Dawncloud told him.

Maybe for this fight, he replied. There was a weariness to his tone. It'll never be enough, Dawncloud, you know that. As long as they can get even one foothold…

She winced at that. No one wanted to say it out loud, but even if they defeated the Dark Forest this time… Dawncloud changed topics, and asked the other, more pressing matter on her mind: What about Russet?

He's with me, Shredtail said.

Not in StarClan? She supposed it had been a long-shot, but…

We're close to the border, he said. Staying hidden. We've been there. But there's no way that Russet could get across.

Not without a StarClan cat to switch places, Dawncloud realized. Can't they make an exception? After how he sacrificed himself?

You know what happens if they make an exception, Shredtail warned.

Dawncloud knew, and she shivered thinking about what the Dark Forest might do with that power.

It's not only that, said Shredtail. The border is impermeable here. Even if one cat wanted to cross over, they would need the collective will of StarClan. You know StarClan would never allow it. So the transfer would have to take place in your world.

I don't understand.

There is a cat who has offered to trade with Russet. But he needs to be able to descend from StarClan to do it.

What cat? Dawncloud asked. Her stomach tightened. Deep down, she already knew.

Branchpaw.

There it was. She squeezed her eyes shut. No. She had already killed him, already sent him to StarClan. If he went to the Dark Forest now… would it be her fault? She couldn't do that to him. I can't.

That's okay, said Shredtail, but she did not think it was okay at all. It's not you that needs to do it. Branchpaw is linked to another cat now. This cat can call him down, in the right place, where the boundary between StarClan and your world is the thinnest for him.

Another cat?

Yes, said Shredtail. A cat with a connection to StarClan, to former ThunderClan medicine cats, who has been visited by Branchpaw already.

Of course. It should have been obvious.

It's Kitetail, she realized.

Yes, he said. Kitetail has to bring Branchpaw back. If you can ask Kitetail to do this... we will come through the portal and be ready.

What if other Dark Forest cats learn about this? Fear grew in Dawncloud's chest.

If more than one cat crosses - if it is unbalanced - the whole thing could come apart, the border dissolved, Shredtail said, a grim warning. We will have to be quick.

I'll ask Kitetail, Dawncloud said. What else could she do? Where does he have to go?

To the place where Branchpaw died.

.

When the conversation was over, Dawncloud pulled herself out, feeling the loss of Shredtail like a pang in her chest. It faded quickly; her mind did not miss him. Not like Sootclaw. She surfaced from the darkness and opened her eyes back to the dark cave. She mulled over what he had said. Part of her didn't want to believe him. Part of her wished that it could be her, and not Kitetail, so that she could see her brother one final time… What if I wouldn't be strong enough? she wondered. To let him go...

The others returned shortly after, each with a piece of prey. Heron had a small mouse, and Alderthorn a snake. Thickfur had brought a rabbit, which he placed in front of Dawncloud before sitting down beside her. It was scrawny, but still enough food for two. "I figured we could share?"

"Thank you," she murmured, taking a small bite.

Thickfur took a bite after her. "Are you all right?" he asked. Of course he would notice that she was shaken.

"I talked to Shredtail," she told him, quietly.

Surprise flashed on his face, replaced by worry as his eyes narrowed. "You said you couldn't talk to Shredtail while you were still linked to Sootclaw."

"Yes," said Dawncloud, but Thickfur knew that even as he asked the question.

"Did Sootclaw…" Thickfur trailed off. His claws were out, grating against the rock. Even without reading his mind, Dawncloud could hear the unspoken questions. Was he hurt? Did the darkness do something? Did he hurt you?

"He's…" Well. He wasn't fine, not with the Dark Forest visiting him in dreams. She had felt his anguish like it was her own. He had lost so much – and felt like he had been losing her too, she realized. No wonder he had reacted so badly when she had expressed that one foolish moment of doubt. "He's struggling."

"What about you?"

"I'm managing."

Thickfur gazed at her a moment longer and Dawncloud wished, not for the first time, she could tell what was happening behind his amber eyes. Then he cocked his head. "What did Shredtail say?"

"He gave me a message for Kitetail. He said there was a way that Kitetail could save Russet, and let him into StarClan."

He chewed on that for a moment, then asked: "Why do you care so much about saving Russet?"

"It's my fault," she said. "I traded places with him."

Thickfur gave her a sympathetic glance. She had told him this before, in bits and pieces, recounting her time in the Dark Forest. "He would have gone there anyway," he said. "If what you told me is true. He took the darkness in him."

Russet had the darkness because he had chosen to save Sootclaw. Sootclaw, who would have died because Dawncloud told him to take the darkness in himself. Sootclaw, who would have been bound to the Dark Forest forever - who still was bound to it. Maybe if he had died instead of Russet, he could have been the one swapping places with Branchpaw. Now, though, he was doomed. Don't think that, she told herself. Don't let it be true.

"I don't want anyone else to suffer because of me," she mewed, very quietly.

"No one is suffering because of you," Thickfur replied, firmly but gently. "It's the Dark Forest who are hurting cats, who possessed Branchpaw. They created the darkness, they put it in WindClan. It's not your fault. It's never been your fault."

"Thickfur..." she started, gazing at him. But she didn't know what to say, so she went back to the rabbit.

.

The storm began just as they finished their meal. Thunder boomed through the sky, and outside the jagged cave entrance the dark sky was lit up by irregular flashes of lightning. The sound of rain drumming on the rock became a constant pounding that Dawncloud felt not only in her ears, but in her paws and her ribs. She hadn't been through a storm like this in… well, she couldn't remember the last time.

"I'll take first watch," Heron announced, sitting by the cave entrance. The grey she-cat looked like a stone as she watched the bolts of rain strike the rocky ground outside. Meanwhile, Alderthorn had found himself a spot along one of the cavern walls. He looked terribly slender and frail as he settled alone. He looked... incomplete. He needs Kitetail, she realized. What if Shredtail's message put Kitetail in danger? Would Alderthorn forgive her?

She couldn't think about it tonight.

Dawncloud settled down on the ground beside Thickfur, pressing her shoulder against his. He placed his tail so the tip lay ever-so-gently over her spine. He glanced at her, and she looked at him, and then they both looked away. Dawncloud laid her head on her paws and thought about the snowstorm, when he had risked his own life to keep her warm through the night.

Dawncloud opened her mouth, once again stricken by the need to say something to him and yet the terrible uncertainty of what the words should be. Before she could say anything, however, there was a loud clattering outside as rocks bounced down the slope and came to a stop outside the entrance. Something had knocked them down.

"Someone's here," said Heron, immediately leaping to her paws. There were footsteps outside, but with the heavy downpour, it was impossible to scent the newcomer. Dawncloud got up, fur bristling. Beside her, Thickfur was tensed, his ears flat against his skull. The steps were too light to be a badger – or at least she hoped – but who else could be approaching?

A black silhouette appeared in front of the mouth-like entrance, and as lightning cracked behind it, Dawncloud saw the muscular shape of a cat. She prepared to leap, her claws out and scratching against the rock. Then the broad figure pushed its head through the teeth and her heart leapt into her throat. "Elmheart?"

X

A/N: Hi friends, hope all is well! Enjoy this chapter, I really liked writing it. I love the small Dawncloud and Thickfur moments. I know there was a delay, but if it makes you feel better, the extra time gave me a revelation about the ending, which I'm hoping will be very exciting! Hopefully pretty emotional too. Also it's only another couple chapters until we break 100k again, though ideally this fic will be shorter than KotS. I also just realized that chapter 22 of KotS is when Dawnpaw first goes into Shredtail's mind... neat!

Next chapter, everyone returns to the Clans! Get ready for a reunion!

Thanks for reading and drop a review if you have the time! It makes me so happy to know people are still reading and invested!

- PV :)