Restoration

It's true that you can't reclaim what you had, but you can lock it up behind you. Start fresh."

― Alexandra Bracken

X

We weren't happily married.

We weren't in love and a tear fell from my eye as I realized that no.

Maybe I would never heal.

X

It's astonishing how much life can change in the blink of an eye.

It had been months since the reception, and while not much had changed between Aro and I physically, we had reached an understanding of sorts.

I was no longer outwardly bitter or antagonizing and while we weren't friends, we were cordial. We had reached a peace agreement.

We'd settled into a routine.

He'd meet me in the kitchen before work in the mornings for breakfast. I could see whispers of disappointment cross his face every morning as he walked down the stairs into the kitchen to see Genevera at the stove-top preparing his food and not me. But we weren't there anymore. That was no longer us.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it though.

Serving him.

But that was no longer us.

We'd sit at the dining table, him at the head, me seated to his right feeding Alieciá for the second or third time because she often woke up hungry more than once throughout the night.

We'd discuss light topics nonchalantly; the weather, when he'd be home from the office, how fast Alieciá was growing before he'd look at his watch and exclaim how he'd be late if he didn't leave soon. He'd throw his newspaper down over his finished plate, bend down to kiss our daughter on her forehead, then lean back and place a kiss on the side of my cheek. Sometimes he'd linger there with this look in his eye, like he wanted to say something before it would be gone. He'd straighten up, put on his suit coat, stroll to the door and be gone.

I liked the routine.

Though it was different than our previous one it gave me a sense of normalcy. I always knew what to expect.

I got up from the table heading up the stairs to get dressed, as Genevera began clearing the table. We were going into the city today.

X

"Ma'am we only have that gown in a size thirty-six and thirty-eight, if you would like it smaller we'd have to order it custom."

I looked at the black gown turning my head this way and that as Alieciá and I sat in the private dressing room in the back of the department store. I had set some of her favorite blocks on the floor to keep her entertained and she had her favorite stuffed giraffe squished between her fingers as she crawled along the carpet while I shopped.

"Hmmm what about shoes?" I asked her.

She turned to go grab a few pairs she thought I would like before I heard my name being called from the front of the store.

"Isabella!"

Athenodora.

I spotted her in the mirror over my shoulder as she walked into the dressing room to join us. Her blonde hair long and voluminous, flowing down her back over the soft yellow, tweed Chanel skirt suit she wore.

"Sorry I'm late, traffic around the lunch hour is always a pain," she said, setting her Prada bag down on the sofa and walking toward the selection of pencil skirts I had had the lady pull for me as well.

"I wasn't even expecting you to really come Dora, I know you're busy."

She turned to look at me, her blue eyes shining bright against her skin as she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Too busy for friends? I don't think so."

She walked over to me, running her hand softly over the top of Alieciá's curly black hair before sitting on the sofa next to me.

"What is wrong Isabella?"

I shook my head in the negative as the sales girl came back out with several pairs of shoes to show me.

"Really? Yet you shop for things you don't need at noon on a Tuesday to say you are fine? Sure okay."

"Hey, some of this stuff is for Alieciá," I said holding up the soft pink and yellow cashmere onesies.

She looked at me disapprovingly, her head tilting down as she stared.

"Dora please not today."

"Fine okay okay," she said putting her hands up in surrender.

"Look it's nothing just….we've developed a routine," I said.

She looked at me in confusion waiting for me to continue.

"And that is a bad thing?"

"No, it's not bad per se, it's just… what if we get stuck here and twenty years later we're still tiptoeing around each other with this manufactured peace agreement we've come to. What if I'm still sitting at the dining room table waiting for my husband to get home from the office and he's still polite and respectful and distant? What if twenty years from now things are still this ordinary? What if twenty years from now I'm still miserable?"

She paused before she spoke, her cornflower blue eyes watching me closely taking me in before she said anything.

"You still see yourself with him twenty years from now?" she asked me softly.

I froze in realization.

Because yes, I did.

I couldn't see myself with anyone besides him.

Ever.

But that didn't change anything. That didn't magically fix our situation and make me happy. It didn't make our marriage real.

It didn't make him love me, and I told her as much.

"Isabella if you want things to change then change them," she said as if it was that simple. As if I hadn't tried that already.

"The last time I tried to change things I ended up in Scotland alone and pregnant," I said. "It's best if I just let this go."

"So what, you're never going to say anything to him? You're just going to be unhappy the rest of your life?"

"My daughter makes me happy Dora," I said, looking at Alieciá as she crawled toward her blocks, knocking them over and looking back at me with a big smile on her lips. Her three little teeth that poked through the bottom of her gums on full display. "Maybe that's enough."

We were quiet again as we looked through skirts, dresses and even a couple of pairs of shoes the sales woman had brought out for us. As I made my final decisions asking her to have them wrapped up and brought to the front counter Dora stopped me.

"I can't tell you how to live your life or what decisions you should make, but what I can tell you is this; I saw that man almost drink himself to death when you were gone. I saw the love in his eyes when he held your daughter in his arms for the first time, and I saw how he held you at your reception, like you were the only woman in the world who mattered to him."

"Dora, these words means nothing when they don't come from him."

She grabbed my hands in hers smiling softly down at me.

"Sometimes Isabella it's not about what a man doesn't say but about his actions and the ways he shows you that he cares."

I could feel the moisture building in my eyes. My contacts clouded as the tears that I refused to let drop built up. My chest filled with pressure as I remembered things I wanted to forget.

"He made me leave Dora," I whimpered out gasping for breath as I fought to remain upright. "He packed my bags and treated me like I was a stranger, like what we had meant nothing. Like I meant nothing. How do I just let that go?"

"You choose to forgive him. If you want him to grovel make him. If you want an apology, ask for one, but at the end of it all, to move on, to move past this and find happiness, you must forgive him."

I took a deep breath wiping my eyes and running my hands down my shirt before I moved to gather my daughter from the floor.

"Just think about it okay? In the meantime I'm headed downtown to the offices to meet Caius for a late lunch, I'm sure Aro wouldn't mind a visit from his family. Would you like to come?"

His family?

We didn't feel like a family yet.

But maybe we could become one.

X

The main offices of the Volturi brothers sat along the Arno river, easily accessed by water taxi or driver as Athenodora most often preferred to travel by. The building fit in easily amongst the architecture surrounding it. The building sat high, taller than any of its neighbors and was adorned with a high domed ceiling topped with a solid gold V. The many arched windows that spanned the entire front of the building told of its numerous floors inside. The pillars that sat outside in the courtyard formed V's as we walked past them, lanterns posted along the tops of the letters, allowing the yard to be illuminated once the sun had set. It was a beautiful piece of architecture easily mistaken for a museum rather than a place of business.

I followed Athenodora as we bypassed the security check in and walked straight to the elevators. I held Alieciá in my arms as she turned this way and that taking in her new surroundings.

"Would you like to go see tuo padre?" Athenodora asked her, tickling Alieciá under her neck, watching as she giggled and tried to catch her finger with her own hand.

When the elevator doors opened it was to a long hallway with doors that littered both it's left and right sides. I followed Dora again, walking down the hallway passing several of the doors on the way. Some were empty, in some I could see executives through the stained glass windows that covered them. As we reached the end of the hallway we walked into an open reception area with a large cherry wooden desk towards the back of the space. At the desk, a man sat, a young man who looked no older than me. His skin was flushed with warm Italian coloring and his dark brown hair sat coiffed and slick with pomade atop his head.

I could hear Aro's voice coming from the door on the left and moved in that direction.

Before I could get there though, the door opened and he walked through it on the phone, speaking harshly to whomever was on the other line. He stopped in mid stride when he saw me, his eyes flickering over me, our daughter in my arms and lastly Athenodora who was greeting the man behind the reception desk.

"Alec sweetheart how are you," she said in greeting to him, walking around the wooden desk with her arms spread out to hug him.

"Ciao mamma," the young man said, a blush highlighting his cheeks and dragging down his face as Athenodora laid kiss after kiss on his face.

Mom?

Ah this must be Caius' son and Jane's twin Alec.

They didn't look much like twins to me though.

"È passato troppo tempo," Athenodora said with affection before letting Alec sit back down.

I watched as she turned toward the office across from Aro's, sent a wave over her shoulder at me and disappeared behind the door with a soft click.

The little traitor.

With no buffer between me and Aro to reduce the awkward tension I turned back to him and gestured to our daughter who had nestled her head into my neck and was well on her way to falling asleep.

"I thought you could use a break."

His eyes softened as he gazed at us. His phone call had long since ended and he reached out with his hand to graze his finger along the back of Alieciá's soft downy head.

"A break it is then."

He turned and led us back into his office closing the door softly behind us.

His office was slightly more modern than the ancient Rome renaissance era designed exterior. Instead of the arch windows that were displayed on the front of the building, the back wall of his office was composed of ceiling to floor stained glass windows with the sun shining through, casting colors across the hardwood office floor. It was slightly distracting as I watched the colors bounce off of his skin, highlighting the dark purples and reds in his black hair.

For all his faults he was a beautiful man.

"I hope we didn't interrupt you," I told him.

He shook his head, brushing off my statement before he walked closer to us, standing so close as he rubbed his hand down Alieciá's back who had steadfastly fallen asleep and was slowly drooling on my shoulder.

"I didn't think I could love anything as much as I love her."

His chocolate eyes melted as he glanced up at me, his heart in his eyes.

"It sneaks up on you doesn't it?" I said softly looking down at her.

When I looked up at him he wasn't looking at Alieciá anymore, but directly at me. My breath caught as he held me in his gaze, his eyes searching for something indescribable. My tongue darted out of my mouth wetting my bottom lip involuntarily, my nerves getting the best of me, and his eyes shot down to my mouth at the motion. We were frozen, stuck in a trance before he moved. His hand leaving our daughters back and moving to my cheek. His fingers grazed my face similar to the way he'd touched Alieciá.

Reverently.

I stepped closer to him, Alieciá nestled between us as we stood close. Him looking down at me and me looking up. His hand moved from my cheek to my neck, his fingers wrapping around the nape of my neck while his thumb caressed my throat, lightly pressing on it. I felt the pressure build under his thumb and I swallowed deeply.

"Isabella," he said, breaking the silence with his deep voice, rough and husky. "I feel so much when I look at our child that it threatens to overwhelm me. It's a feeling only eclipsed by the emotions that overtake me when I set my eyes on you."

My heart stuttered. I could feel it pounding in my chest at his admission. I could hear it so loud in my ears I was sure it would wake my child and disturb her slumber against me.

I was speechless. Words escaping me at his admission. I could feel the hope bubbling inside me and I fought to tame it. Not wanting to build up my expectations only for them to be beaten down once again. But I couldn't ignore the soft look in his eyes. The caressing of his fingers along my throat, or the way that he unconsciously stepped closer to me, his foot stepping in between mine. I could feel my body betraying me, my head leaning against the lapel of his suit as his hand moved from my throat to the back of my head holding me against him.

He took a deep shuddering breath as his fingers laced into my hair embedding themselves amongst the strands and slowly massaging my scalp.

A traitorous moan left my mouth and the moment was broken.

His hand dropped from my hair like I'd burned him. He stepped back from me like he'd come to his senses, putting space between us and his feelings.

"I must apologize Isabella," he said formally and I hated the apathy I heard in his voice. "I did not mean to overstep."

He moved further away from me and I could feel him closing off, distancing him himself again and I sighed, frustrated. I didn't want to do this anymore.

"Aro please," I started out but was interrupted as the phone in his office rang.

He walked over to his desk picking up the line and listened intently to whomever had interrupted us.

I knew I couldn't do this anymore. The constant back and forth. One minute I could feel him getting close, letting me in, wanting to be a family, a real family with me. Then the next he'd pull away, walling himself off from me and I couldn't take it anymore. I wouldn't. I deserved better than a husband who kept me at a distance. I deserved better than a man who was incapable of giving me the emotional support I needed and as soon as he was done with his phone call I would tell him.

It was over.

I took some deep breaths gathering my courage when I looked up at him and saw his face looking deathly pale listening to the person on the other line. He froze as they continued talking, his breath halting in his body at their continued speech. It wasn't until he hung up the phone did he look at me, fearful tears clouding his eyes as he spoke to me.

"I...I have to leave," he stuttered out brokenly.

I watched him as he looked down at his desk, his hands shaking as he tried to stuff some papers into his briefcase, more of them landing on the floor than in the case before I approached him. I walked around the desk to stand next to him, one hand under Alieciá's bottom, holding her tightly to me while she still slept. I used the other to lightly touch his wrist.

"Aro, calm down and tell me what's wrong."

He looked down at me, his eyes watering more as he spoke.

"That was the hospital. My mother has just been admitted."

X

We left Alieciá with Genevera and rushed to the hospital. When we arrived they directed us to the emergency ward.

When we found Adalina she was in the back of the ward, tubes coming from her nose and mouth that seemed to help her breath. Forcing air into her chest as it expanded and collapsed unnaturally.

"Hello are you Signore Volturi? Signora Volturi's son?"

We turned to see a doctor standing in the enclosed space. His hair was sandy blonde and his eyes were a starling green. With his pale skin it was obvious he was not native to Italy.

"Who are you?" Aro spit out.

"Sorry, I'm Dr. Denali, I'm the doctor in charge of your mother's case," he said, sticking his hand out to shake Aro's.

It wasn't returned. Instead Aro gave him a brief nod before speaking again.

"What's wrong with her? And why is she down here and not in her own room? I give enough money to this damn hospital, too much in fact, to have my mother down here with the common drudge of this city. I expect her to be treated with respect. I want her moved now!"

"Aro calm down," I muttered to him, placing my hand on his arm before turning to the doctor.

"I apologize sir tensions are a little high right now. Can you explain Adalina's condition to us please?"

"I can explain to her son yes ma'am but unless you are also a family member I can't disclose her medical condition while you're here."

"She is my wife you insolent-," I interrupted his tirade before he could continue.

"Aro please."

I turned back to the poor doctor to again apologize for being on the receiving brunt of Aro's misplaced anger, but he only shook his head in understanding.

"It's okay Mrs. Volturi, I understand. Signore your mother was admitted after her housekeeper found her passed out on the floor unconscious. Upon performing several body scans we found head trauma as a result of a fall. When we looked closer we determined she had had a stroke or possibly several before she hit the ground. Most likely they caused her fall."

"Several?" Aro questioned.

"Yes sir. We believe at least two. Under normal circumstances the strokes alone wouldn't be that troublesome as most people recover from them but her brain was deprived of oxygen for quite a while before she was found. Combined with her head trauma there was significant cause for concern. Upon doing an MRI and a CT scan we discovered minimal brain activity."

A loud gasp escaped my throat as I realized the implications of what he was saying.

"But she's breathing fine and her heart rate is strong," Aro spoke out pointing to the heart monitor next to his mother.

"We've put her on life support sir. The machine is doing all of the work for her. We can move her into her own room of course to make her more comfortable but I'm afraid supportive accommodations are all we can do at this point."

"So what are you saying," Aro bit out as he moved to his mother's bedside, standing over her.

"I'm saying sir that there's nothing more we can do."

X

It was dark by the time we got back home. I'd sat with Aro for hours at his mother's bedside after he'd had them move her to her own suite upstairs. He wasn't ready to let her go and I wasn't going to make him. He was silent on the drive back to the estate and when we'd arrived back home he'd gone upstairs to his study silently, and without a word closed himself in.

I knew it wasn't healthy for him to close off like this but if he needed time I could give him that. This wasn't about me right now.

So I did what I could. I took care of our daughter. I fed her, cleaned her up and put her down for the night. It was only as I lay in bed that night, restless, with the moon high in the sky did my mind wander.

Before that phone call I had wanted to end things with him. Did I still want that? Could I leave him now that his mother was dying? How would that look? Was it fair to me to delay my own happiness? I didn't know anymore but I couldn't lay here with my thoughts driving me crazy.

I got up and headed down the hallway thinking maybe some late night food would help me fall asleep when I walked past Aro's study. The door was closed but the light from inside flooded underneath. It was late. Too late, almost three in the morning and I knew immediately he hadn't left the room since we'd been home. I knocked softly before entering.

He sat on the love seat, his suit jacket thrown haphazardly across his desk in the back of the room. He was leaned over, his elbows on his knees as his face rested in his hands. He didn't move as I entered the room, he sat completely still as I walked closer to him, kneeling before him and placing my hands on his knees.

"Aro?"

He didn't budge.

I rubbed my hands up his arms coaxing him to respond.

"Aro?" I said again softly.

When he lifted his head my heart broke for him. His eyes were red. Puffy and red as if he'd been crying for hours. He probably had been. His soft chocolate brown eyes were full of melancholy as he stared at me brokenly.

"What do I do Isabella?" he muttered his voice breaking as he whispered my name. "I don't know what to do."

I grabbed his hands in mine, bringing them to my lips as I spoke to him.

"We will get through this Aro I promise you."

"How?" he questioned.

"My mother is dying and there is nothing I can do to save her. She gave me everything and I can't give her anything in return."

"This is not on you to fix," I told him definitively. "You are not superhuman, this burden does not fall on you."

"Then on whose shoulders does it fall? Who bears this burden? Who can fix this?" he asked me.

"I don't have the answers Aro, no one does. I only pray that Alieciá and I can bring you comfort, bring you happiness in these somber times."

He moved his hands from mine to envelope my face and bring me closer to him. I sat up on my knees to accommodate him.

"You and Alieciá are the only things in this life that bring me happiness. Surely you must know this."

I shook my head slightly restricted by his grip around my face as I glanced down before responding.

"With the way everything happened I wasn't sure," I murmured before going silent.

He seemed to gather his thoughts before he spoke again. His mouth opening and closing as he fought to find the right words.

"I understand that the circumstances under which I found out about our child weren't normal, but that could never dim the love or the light that she brings into my life," he said, wetting his mouth before continuing. "I also realize the conditions under which this marriage began were less than ideal for you."

I moved to interrupt him, "Aro it's okay we don't have to talk about this now," but he shushed me.

"Please Isabella let me finish."

I sat back quietly to let him speak.

"I know I strong armed you into this. I know I gave you no choice and for that I want to apologize. You gave me a gift. You gave me a child, a beautiful little girl, and I paid you back by depriving you of your freedom. Making you believe that I would take Alieciá away from you if you chose any other option besides the one I wanted when I could never have done such a thing."

"Wait, the one you wanted?" I questioned him, confused at his phrasing.

"You wanted me to marry you?"

He let his thumb graze my bottom lip at my words, his eyes softening at my words.

"I wanted nothing more than for you to be my wife. I wanted it desperately."

"Then why didn't you just ask me Aro? Normally?" I said trying to lean away from him but his grip was unforgiving and instead of getting away he brought me impossibly closer.

"Would you have accepted it Isabella? After seeing me at my lowest? With all of the alcohol and all of the women?" he asked me diverting his gaze as he mentioned the women he'd been with in my absence.

"I don't know,'' I said honestly remembering how broken he'd been when I'd first come back. Before he'd found out about Alieciá. He'd been in no position to be married at the time. "But you never gave me the choice to choose."

"I admit I couldn't handle the thought of your rejection."

"So what?" I stated angrily. "You force me into it when you think you'll hear an answer you don't like?"

He looked away at my outburst, unable to meet my eyes and I again tried to move away from him. He instead came closer again. Pressing his forehead against mine.

"I needed you Isabella. Desperately. I was falling, unable to see my way out of that dark black abyss I had created when I forced you to leave. When I hurt you so irrevocably that upon your return you couldn't even stand to look at me. I needed you and when I saw a way to keep you I latched onto it."

He pulled away from me. He pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes.

"There aren't enough words in any language to describe the amount of regret I feel, or the sorrow that takes hold of me when I think about the abhorrent way I treated the mother of my child. The only thing I can do is beg your forgiveness and promise to spend the rest of my days bringing you joy."

I could feel the broken pieces of my heart melding together as he spoke to me. The anger and resentment that had taken residence inside of me began to fade away as he gave me what I needed.

I needed him to acknowledge my pain.

I needed him to acknowledge my sorrow.

I needed him to apologize.

And as the words finally spilled from his mouth I could feel a part of my soul knit itself back together. Relief filled my chest and I could finally breathe again.

He leaned back down towards me, placing kisses along my jawline as he whispered "I need you" and "I'm sorry" over and over again.

I didn't even know I was crying until the tears fell and landed on his knees. Wetting the fabric of his suit pants.

"Aro," I whispered.

He leaned back to look at me again, his eyes full of love and adoration as he said, "Please Isabella, please forgive me," before he placed his lips on mine.

Translations

"È passato troppo tempo" - It has been far too long

A/N: I may not respond to all of your reviews but just know that they keep me motivated. Thank you and until next time.