Chapter 30: Reprise Chapters: Looks That Kill

Weeks upon weeks, months upon months, and time upon time had gone by since the incident in the garage. Tony never heard anything about what happened to Obadiah. Tony did his best to let it go, and with Steve's help, he was very distracted.

Steve trained him on how to exercise and more importantly, he trained him on how to fight. Tony sucked at first because he felt a bit insecure and stupid. He thought that the S.H.I.E.L.D. bystanders secretly laughed at how weak he was. But, after a while, the doubt he had about himself was gone.

Tony was a natural at boxing. He caught on very quickly and he was already very agile. The boxing ring was expanded. They opened up Howard's workspace which allowed Tony and Steve to develop a boxing and music lesson routine. It became a past time in the mansion. His parents often attended the music/boxing lesson when they felt like it and the house found amusement in it.

Jarvis loved to watch Steve kick Tony's ass. The butler also found Tony's music choices to be entertaining as well. It helped Steve adapt and it helped Tony's strength increase.

Howard observed as Tony got his hands and knuckles wrapped up by one of the agents in the room. The father and son had hardly spoken to each other since Howard gave his demands. Steve was sad to see the two barely communicate and they never looked at each other in the eyes.

Tony gave his word that he would do whatever his father told him and behave. So, besides Steve's protection, Howard had a full-fledged S.H.I.E.L.D. security detail around the property. He wasn't going to take any chances in regards to Tony. Steve understood the need for caution but he could tell that Tony felt suffocated.

He never had a moment to himself. Steve watched as Tony walked over to his "Boom Box" and he readied the machine. They decided to give the compact discs a try. They were more convenient than the cassette tapes because you didn't have to fast-forward to get to another song.

Steve liked that about the compact disc.

"So which one was your favorite?" Tony asked as he walked up to Steve. The soldier looked at the pile of CDs and he hunted around for the one he borrowed.

He studied the music at night. At that point, he had his own CD player and it had headphones. Steve began to enjoy Tony's music. He lied about it for reasons that were at first unknown to him. Tony often told him what songs to listen to and he listened. After a few weeks, it began to feel like secret messages sent between the two.

Steve started to catch on that Tony communicated with him through the words in the music. It overwhelmed him at times and so he didn't want to be honest.
If he told him the songs he genuinely liked, then it could translate into a message back to Tony.

Steve also couldn't lie to save his life, so he responded.

"I listened to this one a little bit. Didn't get through all the songs but it sounded ok." Steve just handed Tony the CD and he turned away. Steve actually listened and liked almost every word on the CD. Tony flipped the case over and he rejoiced.

"MY FAVORITE. Yay, I'm so glad you've discovered it." Tony hugged the CD to his chest. He felt so happy.
Wait wait wait he jerked his way into Steve's line of sight.

"Which songs did you like the most? Give me two." Tony couldn't wait to hear the songs that Steve liked. Steve hesitated and he glanced around.

He didn't want to be honest. He wanted to lie about his favorites but he couldn't think of the other song names.

"Radio Ga Ga. I guess. But as I said, I didn't finish the entire thing." Steve couldn't look at him. He really did like Radio Ga Ga the most. It felt like the vocalist sang directly to him. He had never been affected by music before. Steve never gave it any thought.

For some reason, Tony's music affected him and he tried not to show it.

"I said give me two songs." Tony crossed his arms and waited. Steve took the CD back from him again and he looked at the titles of the songs. He didn't want to admit the songs that he liked the most.

The lyrics were very personal. Steve could tell that the group, the author, or the singer put a lot of thought into what was sung. It was very powerful music.
Steve just sighed and handed the CD back to Tony.

"It's a hard life? I liked that one too." He shrugged and walked away.

Tony thought about the second song choice. Both songs said a lot about Steve's mental state. Tony looked at the CD and he continued to think it over. Tony knew every word that was on the album. He glanced at Steve and then he headed back over to the boom box.

He put the CD in and he turned it on. Steve pulled himself up into the boxing ring. He climbed in between the ropes and he rest against one of the sides. He just watched Tony and then he looked down at the mat.

"Ok Yankee. I'll show you my favorite song on this album. A music lesson for the rest of you. This is one of my favorite jams from Queen and I dedicate it to my dear sweet father." Tony hopped up a little bit and he stretched his arms back.

"Jams?" Steve scratched at the back of his head and some people laughed in the background.

"HAHAHA YEAH JAM. Uhh Song? Track? We call songs jams here Steve get with the program."

Tony smiled at him and Steve just stared. Tony looked him over but then he remembered that his father was around. Tony looked in Howard's direction then he turned back to the bag. Grr.

He couldn't even flirt in peace.

It was just a song, but Tony seemed to study everything that he listened to. Steve really noticed how the people Tony's age were so involved with their music. Every time they went to buy more music people were overly engaged.

When he was a youngster he listened to music, but nobody he knew really gave it a second thought. He heard the sound of multiple instruments. It faded in with a gentle technical sound and Steve recognized the song immediately.

Tony's shoulders moved up with the beat and Steve's head just dropped a bit. Tony was so funny. He shook his head and hid his smile.

The tempo of the song picked up and Tony started to do a little dance. Steve gave a short laugh. He couldn't hold it in any longer. He looked over at Howard. Steve wondered if Tony's father knew the song at all. Howard rolled his eyes and tried not to laugh.

It finally got to the first verse and Tony started to sing. He actually moved around with the song as it went.

"I want to break free. I want to breaaak freeeeee." Tony pointed his taped up hand in his father's direction. He sang the next verse and directed the words to his father. Howard's eyes opened wide.

"I want to break free from your LIES. You're so self satisfied.. I don't neeeeeed youuuu. I've got to break free."

TCH Tony started to punch the stupid bag that was on the side of the ring. He was pissed o ff 24/7 when he saw his father.

"God knows, God knows, I want to break free.." He sang, punched the bag in front of him, and he moved with the beat. Howard wanted to throw the damn boom box out the window. Tony ignored him and continued doing his crazy thing.

Steve's eyes opened wide as he started to sing the second verse. Tony didn't point at him, but Steve felt like the words were pointed in his direction.

"I've fallen in loooooove. I've fallen in love for the first time, And THIS TIME I know it's for reeeeeaaaal. I've fallen in love, YEAH. God knows, God knows, I've fallen in love."

The song continued. Tony continued. Steve tried to keep his eyes on the mat below him. He looked back up at Tony and a thought seeped into his mind. Tony had gotten stronger. He looked healthier and he noticed that he had more definition in his arms and chest. Steve started to stare at Tony's ...

Body?

He seriously gasped.
Why? Why ? why why why why Steve looked away and pulled on the rope that was by his waist. He scared himself and decided it was time to leave the room.

Steve lifted the rope and made his escape. He tuned out the music and he tuned out Tony. He needed to get some air. Steve headed for the stairs and he was approached by Howard.

"Steve, can I talk to you for a sec?" Howard spoke over the loud music and Steve turned in his direction.

OH THANK GOD. Steve nodded his head and stepped in his direction. He thought he was about to have a mild panic attack. Steve stood beside Howard to hear him out, but for some reason, Steve failed to listen.

He glanced back over at Tony.

"Did you hear me, Steve?" Howard cocked his head to the side because Steve hadn't responded.

"Uh what? I'm sorry the music is distracting." It was Tony. Tony was the distraction.

"I SAID you need the night off. You've been on GUARD DUTY for months! I don't want you to do it anymore and you've seen more than enough of this area. Steve, I'm giving you the night off ." Howard had a huge smile on his face.

Steve stood confused and he saw Tony turn in their direction from the corner of his eye. Tony wiped the sweat off his forehead with the topside of his wrist. Howard walked Steve out of the workspace/gymnasium and they stopped out in the hallway. Howard decided that wasn't far enough so he took Steve into the front living room.

Steve went wherever he was led. When they finally stopped he stood dumbfounded.

"A night off? I don't think that's such a good-"

"NONSENSE! Steve, you weren't brought back to the land of the living just to babysit my damn son. You have no idea how bad I feel."

Steve's jaw dropped. Steve cleared his throat. Steve reacted in many different ways. He gave the idea a bit of thought and for some reason, he thought about...

Steve glanced back in the direction of the music.

Maybe he did need to get out of the mansion. He had spent so much time around Tony. Steve used that excuse as blame because he knew that he started to look at him differently.

He wasn't "attracted" to him like Tony claimed he would be. Every so often Steve just looked at him a little longer than he should have. Tony was an attractive person but Steve wasn't "ATTRACTED". He justified his behavior to himself.

So, Ok. He was slightly attracted to Howard's son. No big deal right?

Steve scared himself again and tried to get the idea out of his head. He was terrified that Howard might have caught on that he sometimes stared at his son? Steve COULD NOT be placed in the same category as Obadiah.

"But, Howard, Where would I go?" Steve asked with a troubled look on his face. Howard's laughter was huge.

"Haha STEVE. I am just messing with you. I just had to get you out of the room without Tony thinking that I remembered something. You're so gullible. I had to keep it going."
Howard laughed again and Steve held a frown.

Wait? so he wasn't going to get a night off ? Steve ended up liking that idea. HE WAS SO CONFUSED. His face actually began to warm up.

"I do need to ask you to do me a favor, Steve." Howard took something out of his pocket and he showed it to Steve. It looked like a shackle of some sort. A bangle? Or a bracelet? was the term. Steve stared at it as Howard explained.

Back at the workspace/gymnasium, Tony chewed at the tape on his hands. He heard what his dad said to Steve. Did he need a break from his GUARD DUTY? Wow, thanks, DAD.

Tony glared at nothing and he tried to free his hands from all the boxing tape. One of the agents tried to help but Tony turned away.

"Back off ..." he didn't want his friggen help.

According to his record of birth, it was supposed to be HIS DAY. But of course like always his friggen father had to ruin his life.
He managed to pry one hand free. But he couldn't really function when he was being stared at.

"WHAT are you lookin at?!" Ugh, he hated being spied on. Tony dropped the tape to the floor and unwrapped his other hand. When he was completely free he tossed the rest of the tape to the floor. He took a giant step back and then turned his body around to leave.

He almost slammed right into his mother. Tony yelped from the shock and he hugged his mother to him.

"WAHhhh you scared the shit outta me!" Tony just about died from the shock. His mother hugged him back and smiled. She was a bit startled as well but she didn't comment on it.

"Anthony I have something for you. Come with me." His mother took his hand and led him out of the room. Maria took him to the kitchen and she pointed at a tiny cake.

Daww Tony grinned and walked over to it.

"Happy Birthday Anthony. I love you so much. I hope you know that." She was afraid that the whole ordeal made Tony feel unloved. His mother wanted to cry.

Tony noticed it and he gave his mother another hug.

"I know mom. How can anyone not love me?" He tried to make her happy. His words did manage to comfort her but she knew his sense of humor well. It was Tony's eighteenth birthday. It wasn't at all like he wanted it to be but he decided to make the most of it.
He was stuck at home with probably a hundred people that watched his every move.

Yay how fun.
And his dad took Steve where? UGH... Tony just stared at the cake and faked a smile.

"We'll have dinner and then get you some cake." Her smile was so genuine it made Tony's heart hurt. He felt horrible and ashamed. He helped his mother set up for dinner and Tony was surprised to see that Steve was still there. He walked up to the table and started to help.

"I thought you needed a break from your guard duty," Tony asked him as he set a stupid plate on the table. Steve nodded his head and he placed the plate in the proper location and he set the silverware beside it.

"Your father was just messing with me.."

"Hmm.." Tony acted indifferently and he set another stupid plate over where his stupid father sat. Tony pretty much tossed the plate. He carelessly set it down and Steve adjusted it so it looked better. They looked at each other and they were both unsure what to say.

"Happy birthday Tony." There. Steve said something and he set the silverware next to the plate. Tony just shrugged. He didn't care about his birthday. It felt great being eighteen and all that but Tony wasn't in the mood to really celebrate.

An idea materialized in his mind and his eyes dipped over toward Steve.

"Cannnnn I get the two things that I want?" Tony asked as Steve turned away quickly. Steve avoided any and all eye contact.

"No." Steve answered as they continued to set the table.

"Aww not even on my birthday?" He only wanted two things. And he brought it up to Steve any chance he could get. It was difficult for Tony to flirt with Steve like he wanted to because they were never alone together. Steve brushed off what Tony said. He answered but, he would not engage and be teased.

"Especially not on your birthday." Steve had to change the subject.

"You're getting a lot stronger. I noticed that you're really bulking up." Steve had to say something to kill the subject. Tony looked over at Steve with a grin. Then he looked down at his arms and he noticed how dirty his shirt was.

"I'm actually a mess. I should get out of these.." Gross sweat-covered clothes were the words he decided to leave out. Steve did his best to keep eye contact with the table décor.

It was hard for him to not look at Tony.
"I'm gunna go shower. Uh, thanks. You know, for saying happy birthday and all that."

"Sure. Hey Tony. " Tony went to leave the room but Steve's words made him stop. Tony looked back at him and waited for him to continue. Steve took in a deep breath. He had a favor to do for Howard and he wasn't sure how he was going to pull it off. He looked around to see who was near.

"Yeah?" Tony wasn't sure what Steve wanted to say to him. His heart raced as he waited.

"Tony, do you want to get out of here? Tonight? I can make it happen after your parents celebrate your birthday with you. I think you are the one that needs a break.."

Whut? Tony's jaw fell open. HE. WAS. SPEECHLESS. His mind flooded with different ideas about what to do and where to go. Ok ok, he was speechless no longer. He stepped closer to Steve and a question arose.

"Would you go to a house party with me? Because that's one of the two things I want right now. Well, actually I want a million things but I'll settle for the two since you still owe me." Tony spoke SO FAST. Steve stared at Tony and gave the idea some thought.

"Whatever you want." He gave a small smile and Tony pretty much DIED.

"REALLY?!" Holy shit. Tony was blown away and he stood with an amazed expression. Steve nodded his head and Tony left the room. Whoa whoa whoa, he had to think ! and he had to shower and he had to...think.

He thought WAS THAT FOR REAL? After Tony showered and changed his clothes he stopped in the middle of his bedroom. He eyed where he normally hid his drugs.

The agents searched his room. They found most of his stash but Tony had other locations that

weren't discovered. Every day he was tempted to take a small hit. Every minute of every day he had to force himself not to sneak into his room and take something.

The Yankee said that he looked stronger. He had "bulked up" Tony didn't know what to think of it. He took a glance at the mirror and tried to see what he spoke about.

Tony still felt scrawny. He had a thick layer of wool over his eyes because he saw no change in himself whatsoever.
Later on, he headed into the dining room. He saw his father and he gave him a sarcastic salute.

"Mon Capitaine ! Where shall I sit?" His father stared at him for a moment.

"Tony you can sit wherever you want. I don't care." Howard was about to take his seat at the table but Tony got in his way. He sat down in Howard's chair and acted like he just stole the thrown.

NOT THAT SEAT.

"Damn brat." He said as Tony made himself nice and comfortable. He was in the king's chair and Tony was proud of his accomplishment. Howard wanted to smack him, but he controlled himself and he sat beside his wife.

For Tony, dinner was always the worst. He had nothing to say to anyone so it was always hella awkward for him. It felt like he ate rocks.

Steve and Howard always had a stupid conversation. About the past, Hydra, and whatnot. Tony never even attempted to get a word in. He just ate in silence with his thoughts. His mother did the same thing. His dad had too big of a personality for one room.

Tony held an evil thought in his head as he stared at his food.

"Tony what do you want to do for your birthday?" his father asked as Tony looked up. Uhh, what COULD HE DO? He looked at Steve.

"Steve knows. Tell them. I only want two things and he can tell you what those things are." He pointed his fork at Steve and just left it at that. He wanted only two things to happen. He wanted a thank you kiss from Steve and he wanted Steve to go with him to a house party.

It looked like one of those things might have been in his future. But the kiss was still a long shot so at the moment he had nothing else to say.

Maria and Howard looked at Steve.

He cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with the napkin.

"Steve. What two things does he want for his birthday?" Howard wasn't sure what to expect but he asked anyway. Steve held an awkward smile. What the hell did Tony have in his head? He couldn't say what he wanted right in front of his parents. Steve tried to get Tony's attention but it didn't work.

Tony threw him to the wolves to fend for himself.

"He just wants to get out of the house. He has a specific type of place in mind and he wants.." Tony finally looked over at him. He had a playful smile that Steve forced himself to ignore.

He was not going to tell them the rest. Tony was NEVER going to get what he wanted because Steve was not ATTRACTED to him in any way. It started to feel like Steve's clothes were too big for him. He adjusted his pant leg and shifted in his seat.

"Tell them what the second thing is Yankee." Tony was so proud of himself. Steve looked flustered no matter how hard the soldier wanted to hide it. Maria and Howard looked at each other as Steve struggled to form a response.

The parents studied the silent Steve.

Tony held that grin. He ate his food in peace. He loved to watch Steve struggle hahahha. The rest of the room got a bit quiet and Steve tugged at his shirt. He made a decision about Tony in his head. But, when he spoke to Maria and Howard his words contradicted the decision entirely.

"He just wants some space. A little bit of freedom from all the people watching him. I could take him to that specific place, later if you two don't mind." Steve immediately wondered why he did that. Why did he say that? Why was he now engaged in that conversation?

The soldier struggled. He started to think that he contradicted his own mind because, in reality, he wanted to leave the house as well. He wanted to be alone with someone. Steve glanced in Tony's direction and then he just shoveled food into his face.

Maria remained silent. She noticed a change of behavior in Steve. She always saw it in Tony when the two were around one another, but Maria began to see it in Steve. She smiled and just ate her food. Howard stopped all movement and he looked over at Tony.

"It better not be a strip club or some shit." Howard was not in the mood to deal with Tony's games. He needed that favor from Steve. And that favor would only be accomplished if Tony felt at ease.

For Howard, it made sense for Steve to take him somewhere. But it was "where" that he wondered about. Tony stared over at Steve and he was still completely shocked. Uhh was the Yankee REALLY going to take him somewhere? Maybe to a house party like he wanted?

NO WAY. Tony wasn't so sure about what he had heard. But whatever, he didn't care. If he managed to get out of the house on his birthday he was thrilled.

"You're really going to take me where I wanna go Yankee?"

Steve just smiled at him and nodded his head. That meant YES. Tony immediately felt nervous. He looked down at his plate of food and picked at it a bit. He was hungry but Tony could hardly eat a thing. When his mother brought out the cake he couldn't even finish half of a piece.

It was a bizarre birthday for him. The risk of Obadiah's attack still loomed over his head, the pent up feelings he had for Steve LOOMED over his head as well, and his bitter resentment towards his father also loomed.

Steve was right Tony needed a fucking break. He was a bit dazed throughout the entire birthday thing. He robotically talked with his parents and promised to behave and all that jazz.

He changed his clothes again like a robot and stopped again where his stash was hidden.
Saa he dropped the thoughts and indecision and walked over to the stash. If they were gunna go to a house party Tony already determined that he was unable to resist.

He wasn't sure how to do what he wanted to do because he knew Steve was bound to freak out. Or was he? Gahh Tony began to notice a difference in Steve that he didn't understand. It was a definite curveball that he didn't know how to deal with.

Tony took some of the stash with him. He packed them up and then met Steve in the garage. Tony wondered what the hell his deal was. His mind was stuck in a gear that he couldn't switch out of.

"I'm the legal driver now so you are going to have to navigate me.."

Tony heard Steve and he turned his head. He wanted to ask him so many things. WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? was the first question of choice. Tony led him to the location of the house with the party and Steve parked the car outside the driveway.

It was a Friday night way off in Long Beach, California. The house always crawled with people so Tony didn't need to call the person that he knew there. His heart raced as he looked over at the house.

Steve was silent and he looked over at Tony. Something was very off about him and Steve grew a bit concerned. Tony unbuckled his seat belt and he went to open the car door.

"Tony. I need to ask you something before we go in.." Steve's voice made Tony sit up straight.

Tony turned from the window and he looked at him. Tony rubbed his hands together and avoided eye contact. Steve brought the object Howard gave him out of his jacket pocket. Tony stared at it and Steve brought it more into view.

"Your father wanted me to put this on your wrist. I've decided to tell you about it and ask if you want it instead of just putting it on you. He made a tracking device for you to wear just in case something happens. So, will you wear it?"

UHHHmmmmm Tony was baffled AGAIN. He rubbed at his forehead immediately and a wave of anger started to rise within him.

"FUCK NO. I don't want him tracking me. Thank you for asking but NO." GARRRGHHHH he knew it was too good to be true.

Tony clenched his fists and Steve heard his knuckles crack. HIS FATHER'S PARANOIA DROVE HIM NUTS. Steve wanted Tony to wear it but he didn't like his father's idea. He tried to reason with him and gave it another shot.

"If I lose track of you I would hate myself. We don't know what Obadiah intends to do with you and you never know when he might make his move so can you please just wear it tonight?" Tony grit his teeth.

"I SAID NO.." He was immediately annoyed and he wanted to ditch Steve already. What the hell was Steve going to do there anyway?! He didn't drink. He was OBVIOUSLY very against drugs and anything FUN.

The guy was a saint...
He watched as Steve put the stupid bracelet thing back in his pocket. Steve unbuckled his seat belt and he watched some people walk down the street. Tony felt a sting in his chest for some reason and he just sighed out loud. An idea sparked in Tony's mind and his face shifted to a playful grin.

"I'll wear it. If I get the other thing I want." He decided to con his way into getting that kiss from Steve. Steve turned his focus back to Tony and he took in a slow breath.

"Just give me one kiss and let's see where it leads. I know you have feelings for me. Or you WILL at some point. If you feel nothing right now then I'll back off and wear the stupid bracelet."

Tony drove a hard bargain. Steve stared at him and debated strongly against it in his head. Tony was his FRIEND'S SON. His mind yelled at him. It said, DO NOT DO IT STEVE. Over and over...

His eyes veered down to Tony's lips. He had a million reasons why he shouldn't even be in the car with Tony Stark.
The fact that he was Howard's son was the first one, the second was the fact that he had been very abused.

Abused by an older man. Steve could not place himself in the same boat. Steve's mind started to race. He kept his attention on Tony's mouth.

"See Yankee, you're thinking about it. Please. It's my birthday! We can just, kiss." Tony added more of an invitation to his bargain. Tony moved into the distance that was between them. Steve's back hit the seat behind him and the driver's side door.

Steve backed up as far as he could and Tony shifted even closer.

Steve felt Tony's hand as he gripped his shirt. It made him break his focus from his lips and he glanced down at his hand. It felt like his clothes were too big again. Steve looked over at the house and then he looked back at Tony.

"Are you attracted to me yet?" Tony asked with a grin. Steve blindly felt around for the door handle. He stared at those lips and came to a decision.

"I need a drink." There. He made a decision and he opened the car door. He knew there was going to be alcohol within the house so he just got out and walked toward it. Could he get drunk? No. But Steve often took a drink whenever he wanted to..

It did nothing for his nerves and he had no idea why he did it. But sometimes it just felt good for him to drink alcohol. The air was cold around him and he tried to calm himself down. He inhaled the cold air and he tried to steady his nerves.

Was he attracted to him yet? Steve rolled his eyes and he thought about the level of NERVE that Tony had within him. He walked and walked and walked.

"Uhh what? Tony blinked and stared at the empty space in front of him. Steve bolted out of that car. Tony crawled out the door and he hurried after him. JESUS CHRIST!

"They don't know you so you can't just walk in!" He caught up and stood beside Steve. Was he crazy? The two looked at each other for a moment and then they both looked away. Tony pulled Steve toward the side gate.

"You enter from here. Only COPS knock on the front door Yankee."

Tony opened the gate and they walked in together. A sea of smokers were all scattered around outside the home in various places. Music trailed from inside and it seemed like every space was covered with people. Tony held a grin and he actually took Steve's hand. It was necessary so they wouldn't get separated. Duh?

He pulled Steve into the house. Steve looked down at their hands and he stepped over someone? Something was on the floor. Steve thought he stepped on a human being.

Steve maneuvered around a house that looked like it was infested with zombies. Tony showed him a movie called Dawn of the Dead and he remembered it. Steve thought to himself that he REALLY really really needed that drink.

His nerves were shot.

Chapter END
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