Felicity giggled before she continued the conversation.
"You're right in a way, but that's only because we're part of the elite." She then gave Anaiel a sly wink Anaiel sighed before she eased her expression, forming a warm smile with her mouth.
"Guess you're right"
"Let's go see laylah now, she must've missed us" felicity said as she started getting out of the car followed by Anaiel.
Felicity opened the doors of the t-doll shelter with a polite smile on her face before the duo got inside.
"Big sister felicity!" A black haired little tdoll said (the friend of ruby, the girl tdoll that hit yulil with her soccer ball to the head)
"Anastasia!~ Get over here you cute little thing!... there we go!" Felicity wholesomely said before she picked Anastasia up in the sky and spinned around.
Anaiel smiled as she looked at the two of them before she got pulled by her sleeve.
"Hm?...oh! Ruby, I missed you!" Anaiel said as she crouched down and hugged ruby "Hehe, I missed you too big sister, wanna play with me?" Ruby replied, handing Anaiel her tattered soccer ball.
"Ah, I can't right now, I need to see big sis laylah, but I'll come have a match as soon as I finish okay?" Anaiel said while rubbing ruby's grey hair.
"Okay! I'll be waiting" ruby replied, with a big smile on her face.
"That's my girl..." She said as she got herself up and gestured to felicity who was still spinning, showing no signs of dizziness.
"Right, looks like the typhoon will have to take a rest for now" felicity said to Anastasia who pouted, she slowly put her in the ground.
"Well, it can't be helped... Wh-whoah, owie!"
Anastasia immediately lost balance before she fell backwards, giving the trio quite the laugh.
"Hey Sophie, how are you doing?" Felicity said as they approached the reception counter.
"Ah, Felicity and Anaiel, it's been a while, I'm doing alright what about you two?" Sophie replied, putting the file she was reading on the counter.
"Just peachy" Anaiel replied as she gave her the okay sign "I'm doing just~ great"
"I can clearly see you two radiating more than usual, I wonder why" Sophie replied as she rested her head on her hand, with her elbow on the counter.
"Remember that yulil we always told you about?" Felicity asked.
"Yes, I already know, he's still alive"
Felicity and Anaiel both raised an eyebrow.
"Ah, so he came here already?" Anaiel deducted "Indeed, he spoke to laylah and quickly left"
"Ah, talking about her, she's in her office right?" Felicity asked.
Sophie nodded with a smile
"Alrighty, then we'll be leaving you Sophie, thanks for helping laylah by the way, we all appreciate it" she added "Oh please felicity, we're all in debt to this shelter, see you around"
Anaiel knocked twice on the door of laylah's office.
"Come in, it's open" she heard a voice inside say, with her permission Anaiel opened the door as she got inside, followed closely by Felicity.
"Oh it's you two! Finally taking a break and coming to see the old me" laylah said as she got up and walked towards the duo.
"Oh my, you're unusually happy today, I wonder why" Felicity said with a grin.
Laylah gave the pair a big group hug which lasted a couple of seconds before they let go of each other.
"I'm sure you also know eh?" Laylah said as she walked around her desk while the other two sat on the guests chairs.
"I couldn't believe my eyes, he's really not dead" Anaiel said, before she slightly slid down her chair.
"And I thought destroying SF was all I could have" felicity said, slowly smiling.
"This is much, much, better" laylah replied, slowly spinning her pen between her fingers.
"Hehe, Now I kinda regret joining the military" Anaiel said with a nervous giggle.
"I do too..." Felicity replied, slowly noticing how heavy the atmosphere was.
"Ah whatever, I'm sure we'll figure out a way to retire... If that's even a thing for us tdolls, but still, the most important thing is that he's back... And that's all I could ask for" she added "I agree" laylah replied.
"Me too!"
"Oh by the way, I'm going to his room, you should join us , no reason not to now that he's back from the dead" felicity said to laylah.
"You're right... But why?"
"Nostalgia of course" felicity said with a smile.
"Heh, it can't hurt" she replied with a shrug.
Coughs proceeded the trio as they entered yulil's room.
"Jeez" felicity muttered as she shook her hand "Still as dusty as ever" Anaiel added "I really need to clean it" laylah concluded, she then noticed the stab mark on the wall, she gestured to it and turned her look towards Felicity.
"You really need to work on your anger management" she sternly said.
Felicity let out a nervous chuckle as she scratched her cheek.
"Heheh, I'll see what I can do" "Hey, he never told any of you who these people were?" Anaiel said, with a Polaroid picture in her hand.
"Hm? Let me see" Felicity replied Felicity and laylah got behind Anaiel as they examined the picture.
The picture had yulil in the middle with a big dumb smile on his face, a red haired woman was on his left and had her arm around him as she looked like she was laughing, on his right were two men, one held a designated marksman rifle, he had an arm on his waist and the other giving out a peace sign to the camera, while the other man wore glasses and had a medic sign on his black vest pouches while crossing his arms, the last person on the picture was a middle aged man behind them, he looked like he was checking a map as he had an extremely focused expression on his face.
"This definitely seems from his time in the military" Felicity said, slowly rubbing her chin.
"He'd always dodge the question and play dumb when I'd ask him about these four people" Anaiel added.
"Welp, he must have his own reasons" laylah concluded as she stepped away and started looking around.
Her eyes suddenly caught something behind the nightstand, hidden very well for a CD.
She crouched and pulled it with her fingers.
A CD? She thought "Hey, any of you know what would be inside this?" She said as she showed them the cd she found.
Felicity slowly shook her head while Anaiel shrugged.
"Let's go to your office and see it by ourselves then" Felicity added "You think it's okay if we do that? I mean it's his private stuff after all" Anaiel replied "He never speaks about himself, never even mention the slightest fact about himself before we met, don't you want to know more about him?" Felicity replied, crossing her arms and with a mischievous smile on her face.
"Well..." Laylah said as she looked back at the CD Hook, line and sinker.
"That's what I thought, then let's go!" Felicity concluded as she pushed Anaiel outside, followed by laylah who sighed and decided it wasn't that big of a deal.
"Just one video file huh... This looks like it's a news interview" laylah said as she was sitting on her chair, Anaiel and felicity were beside her, also sitting in the guest chairs, all looking unitedly at the laptop.
"Well yulil... Let's see what you're hiding from us" Felicity said before double clicking on the video file
NNP INTERVIEW Veterans' mental help campaign
The video file started as it showed a chair and a grey background.
Rummaging came from the speakers after a couple of seconds.
"Yeah, you can sit there"
"Alright"
It was a familiar male voice Yulil then walked in front of the camera before he sat down on the chair, he was... Different.
Although he smiled at the camera, the trio could easily noticed the emptiness in his eyes and the bags under them, his hair was shorter than his current haircut, but much, much messier, he also had a light beard that gave him the look of someone that stopped caring a long time ago.
Laylah sneakily looked at the duo and noticed their increasingly worried expression, Anaiel was biting her nails while felicity although expressionless, laylah could detect her worried thoughts, she then gulped and looked back at the laptop
"So, let's start with introducing yourself" the interviewer said, behind the camera.
"I'm lieutenant yulil Tapferkeit, started as a PFC in the second infantry Division when I was 19, transferred then to the 21st mechanised brigade and promoted to the rank of SSG and then finally transferred to the honour guard and promoted to lieutenant, served in... Well... The war that ended a month ago" Yulil said with a smile "It's a pleasure to have you with us lieutenant" the interviewer politely said.
"Thank you very much for having me, you guys are really doing god's work, I don't think I can ever thank you enough for shedding light on this taboo topic" yulil said with the friendliest smile he could muster "Don't mention it, we're just people who care about your well being, yours and the one of people like you." The interviewer then went through some files before he continued speaking "For someone to join the honour guard, you must've been quite the extraordinary soldier" Yulil formed a small smile before he replied.
"Certainly not, far from it actually" he finished with looking aimlessly at the ground "But to be one of the few dozens people to be awarded the medal of honour, that certainly needs an extraordinary soldier"
Yulil could only chuckle.
"Perhaps I am extraordinary..." He said, keeping his gaze at the ground.
"But i wasn't enough" he added, switching his look towards the interviewer.
A short silence settled within the room as yulil looked at his surroundings before he spoke "I guess..." He stopped himself midway, closed his eyes and took a deep breath "That medal only made me feel more of a fuck-up, oh! can I uh... say that?" Yulil asked with a friendly smile.
"Heheh, you can't but we'll edit it out don't worry, we want you to be you today, but why did it make you feel that way?" "Well, everytime you see someone get awarded this medal, that means that something went wrong... People, well... died" yulil kept smiling as he spoke while looking at the interviewer in the eyes "I see... So let's get on with the first question, how did you adapt to your civilian life lieutenant"
Yulil immediately chuckled.
"Let's see" he said while holding his chin.
"I didn't..." He replied as he kept a weak smile on his face while looking at the interviewer in the eyes.
"Would you mind telling us more?"
"Of course, that's what I'm here for anyway... Pff from where do I start... You know, my squad in the honour guard special division had their own motto... It doesn't get better... That was our motto And honestly...that just couldn't get more true on that day, my squad consisted of 5 people, I was leading 3 men and a woman and...their..." Yulil stopped speaking for a moment, he sighed and look at the sky, it looked like even speaking was exhausting for him.
He then switched his look at the interviewer and continued.
"Death was the reason I got the cursed medal... It was our last mission together, and after that I got seriously wounded, but survived... Unfortunately..." Yulil said, slowly nodding with a smile, a smile that just didn't fit the content of his speech.
"And to your question, well... It's been a month since I've been discharged from the hospital and... And honestly I-...heh, like I've said... it doesn't get better... I've been diagnosed with PTSD and it's just... Killing me slowly...yeah, that's what it's doing... Every day I feel worse... Like I've told you, I still haven't adapted back to my civilian life" yulil grimly said "And... How are you coping with the symptoms?" The interviewer asked, almost sounding too afraid to ask.
Yulil sighed as he looked upwards.
"The medicine didn't help, that's for sure" he said with a chuckle.
"Well... I was- heh, still am... A fucking mess... I get paranoid easily, I avoid crowds, im slowly hating people, I can't keep up a conversation, I get flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations, you name it man..." Yulil said, keeping his unfitting smile on his face.
"Any examples?"
"I uh... Remember once, it was like... midnight I think? I couldn't sleep, PTSD really fucks up your sleeping pattern, you sleep 2 to 3 hours then stay awake for two or three days..." Yulil said, pointing at the bags under his eyes while smiling "I went out for a smoke, then suddenly a firework exploded, my brain for some fuckin' reason, translated it to an explosion, I immediately layed down on the ground while I was walking, I guess my brain thought it was a rocket or some shit, thankfully no-one saw me, that'd be too embarrassing" he concluded his speech with a chuckle.
"Oh~ If only it was just that..." He added, while slowly looking away.
"Anything can send me back to my time in the war... A car door slammed too forcefully? Gunshot...firework? Explosion...driving?... IEDs...airplanes?... Airstrikes... it's like something itches inside of your soul...the worst was when I was walking and tossed my bottle of water in a bin I found while walking in a forest, as I tossed it, welp... the shirt of my sleeve transformed into one with camouflage, the bin, an open door and the bottle?... a grenade...I got sent back to a destroyed city, where we were clearing a room with hostiles inside by throwing grenades... It was so real... It's not just that, it affects how I socially act as well... I'm always easily irritated by people, I try my best to keep it inside of me but well..."
Yulil cleared his throat before he continued.
"Another example happened just Yesterday when I went to buy a beer and I couldn't park my car, because of how paranoid I was, everywhere is a warzone for me right now, I can't keep my back to entrances, I always think that people want to shoot me, anytime I enter a room I find myself planning escape plans and possible hiding spots, I get paranoid when I drive, it's just... Horrible... Every night I can see their faces... The faces of the comrades I've lost...no, the faces of the family... My only family" yulil said, by the sound of his voice he was on the verge of crying but... His face wasn't red, in fact it was pale, his expression didn't change and no tears could be seen... He looked like his tears dried a long time ago.
"Is perhaps your real family not in this city?"
Yulil chuckled, he looked around a bit before he looked at the interviewer.
"I'd like to meet my "real" family one day too" yulil said with a smile, it took a moment before the interviewer realised what yulil meant.
"It's just that... Every single night ever since their deaths, I keep getting nightmares about that incident... Almost like I'm cursed to relive that moment over and over and over again..." Yulil said as he was punching his hand with each word, he looked at the ground before he continued speaking.
"I always need to change my bed sheets because of how much I sweat when I'm sleeping, I wake up in the middle of the night to just find a puddle of sweat, and that's when the flashbacks really intensifies... It's always at night, I start hearing gunshots and explosions, even voices sometimes...it drove me to smoking and alcohol... But honestly? The more I drink the worse I feel, it's like rather than drowning my sorrows, I'm drowning myself..." Yulil stopped talking for a moment, he looked at the ceiling before biting his lower lip "I never asked for any of this for fucks sake..." He softly said while burying his face in his hands "What would you say, could have helped you converting to your civilian life"
Yulil slowly raised his head, no signs of crying, still as pale as a ghost.
"I think the thing that really fucked me up was when I got discharged, I realised that I came back to no one... I knew literally nobody, nobody knew me, nobody was here for me when I got back... I didn't have a home, the only home i had was six feet underground... I had a house sure, but not something I could love... Something I could care for...a simple" yulil suddenly stopped talking as he winced for a moment, even speaking looked painful, he sighed and continued "... A hug and a simple "it's over, you're safe, welcome home" would have helped me so much.. But I don't deserve it anyway... Honestly? I used to feel as strong as a bullet, but war loaded me in it's gun and fired...now?...now I'm just the hollow casing..." He finished with looking at the ground with the Gaze of a thousand yards stare, after a couple of seconds he sighed and blinked "I used to cry but right know I'm kinda numb to it you know? I don't really feel much... I just... I try not to think about it but...it just follows you, you can't run away from it, I hurt myself to try and find emotional comfort because honestly, the amount of self hatred I have can only be appeased this way, the only time I can really feel any miniscule amount of relief is when I can feel pain"
Yulil bit his lower lip as he looked at the ceiling, almost as if he wasn't sure if it'd be okay to say the next words.
"Every night I... look inside the barrel of my pistol... thinking that maybe... it's worthless to push on, that I'm just a failure who couldn't even bring back one of his soldiers alive, that it's useless to keep holding on for something to pop up and give me a reason to live you know?...but each night, I convince myself to hold on for one more day... to keep my finger off the trigger for one last time...to wait for something to light the fire inside of me again...Each night, the cycle repeats itself..." He tightened his grip on his jeans before he looked one last time at the interviewer "I'm a pretty optimistic person doc, but honestly I... I can't see the light anymore...that's my story" he concluded, finally losing his already weak smile, with one last nod ending the video file.
Anaiel, Laylah and Felicity each had mixed reactions.
Anaiel had a depressed expression on her face, shared by Laylah, while felicity... Well...
"Absolute asshole!" Felicity yelled before she slammed her closed fist into Laylah's desk, she violently got up and started walking towards the door.
"H-hey, wait!" Laylah pleaded, Felicity however had no intention to hear her out.
"Let's go with her, it'd be good since we'll hang out all together with yulil" Anaiel said, laylah looked at her and chuckled.
"You really became more responsible ever since he was gone" "Ugh, just shut it for now, jeez" anaiel said, turning her back to laylah as she tried to caught up with Felicity.
Back to our protagonist.
He slowly woke up to feel something on his eyes, he was blindfolded, and tied to a chair...
"Great" yulil muttered.
He suddenly heard something fall, it was light, a book perhaps?
A warm breath hit his nape.
His kidnapper was messing around with him, something he didn't like.
"I wonder what you want from me" he asked.
"I don't know either" she whispered into his right ear, she was really close.
"Ever heard of personal space, Ak12?"
He heard a chuckle before ak12 undid his blindfold.
"Boo" she said in a soft tone as she leaned forward and looked yulil straight in the eyes "What the hell do you want from me now?" Ak12 walked in front of yulil with her arms behind her back, she faced him and leaned forward, closing the distance between each others' faces.
"The FSB put out a reward for anyone that knows something about the cheeky little devil that raided our bureau... And well, looks like I'm the only one who knows his Identity" she said with a scary smile on her face, her eyes was as always... Fully closed.
"And you want something from me... If you didn't Im pretty sure I would've been kidnapped by FSB agents" Ak12 started clapping.
"Bravo, yulil!... Very good" she said in a sarcastic tone, almost as if she was humouring a child.
"Can you just get to the point?" He said before he sighed, ak12 stopped clapping and put her foot on yulil's knee, he kept his poker face while she rested her arm on her raised leg, the situation looked like a torture scene straight out of a mafia movie.
"You've got two choices" she said.
"Either I snitch you out to the FSB, you probably already know how slim your survival chances are if I do..."
"Or?" He replied with a raised eyebrow "Or we can have a little bit of fun and I promise I'll keep our little secret between us" she said mischievously.
"Is it really a choice at this point?" Yulil asked, ak12 just shrugged which made him even more annoyed, if only he had his bayonet on him.
"I guess I'll pick the latter"
Ak12 slowly formed an intimidating smile.
"Good boy" she said before she kicked yulil, making him fall backwards.
"Ugh... I'm not going to have a good time huh?" He said as he saw her get a bucket of water and a cloth.
"I don't know about you, but I certainly will~... So, ever heard of waterboarding?" She said with raised eyebrows and a scary smile.
"Are you fu-" he was saying, cut by ak12 throwing the cloth on top of his face.
Yulil yet again, couldn't see anything.
"Most people can't even hold for 10 seconds... and since you're such a good boy, take this" she whispered into his ear, he then felt a metallic ball being handed to him in his tied hands "Throw it if you can't handle it, I do however expect you to amaze me" she said.
He was out of options now, he was tied, with no blade to cut the ropes with and against a mil-spec tdoll, the best he could do now was just to hold on.
He felt a weight drop in his stomach, it was probably her sitting on top of him to get a better grip of the situation.
It started, the water was slowly poured into his face, yulil was waterboarded once, so he knew what to expect, he knew that his body would immediately feel like it was drowning, and he couldn't do anything about it.
He could feel some air between his mouth and the cloth but as soon as he tried to grasp it, he would only feel water.
After the first 3 seconds he clenched the metallic ball, am I really drowning? He kept asking himself.
It was the 7th second mark, she suddenly grabbed yulil's head and pinned it as she continued pouring the water, ak12 could feel yulil's legs starting to move, hoping to free himself 14 seconds mark, all of his fibers thought that he was drowning, his survival instincts kicked in, making him throw the metallic ball as hard as he could as it hit the ground, bouncing off and repeating the metallic sound it emitted, finally the torture stopped...it didn't.
Yulil started to try and move his head away from the stream of water, in vain, ak12 was just inhumanely strong,... His legs flailed around hoping to convince her that he was truly in danger...
It wasn't until the 18th second that the stream stopped ak12 got up and removed the cloth from his face.
Yulil started violently coughing as he shook his head quickly.
"Are you out of your fucking mind?! You crazy bi-" he yelled at her angrily before he noticed her slowly raising another bucket of water, she had a faint red on her cheeks while her eyes were open a bit... She... Really enjoyed it...
"I'm seriously in big trouble" yulil said to himself.
"You crazy beautiful lady yeah, that's what I meant" he immediately corrected himself, ak12 chuckled as she dropped the second bucket.
She grabbed yulil by his collar and pulled him up with the chair.
"So, was that fun~?"
"If by fun you mean pumping my airways full of water and almost asphyxiating then oh boy did I have fun" yulil said trying his best to think of a way to escape.
"Heheh, I'm glad we're both having fun then, because this is just the beginning" ak12 said as she let out a scary laugh while slowly closing the distance between the two.
"Wait, hold up ak12, don't you dare-" *Beep*
Ak12 stopped moving as she checked her phone.
"Wow... I really did underestimate your soldiers, I'm afraid I can't play with you anymore yulil~" She said with an annoying smile on her face.
She walked up to him and crouched, resting her crossed arms on his lap "Be a good boy from now on okay? Or I'll have to discipline you again" she said, yulil could only roll his eyes.
"Let's hope that neve- Ouch! Hey!" He was saying before ak12 pinched his right thigh.
"You should be grateful for me giving you this much attention you know? I don't do this to anyone" she said with her irritating smile.
"Can I perhaps have a refund?"
"Sorry, we don't do that here"
"Fine fine, just keep angelica safe will you?"
"Pff, she's the one keeping us safe, yulil" she said as she got up and started heading towards the door, she gripped the door handle and stopped "You better stay alive for angelica you hear me? she's been way happier ever since you returend" she said with her back turned to him.
"Don't worry, I'm not planning to die again"
"I'm glad to hear that" ak12 replied before she opened the door and got through it, only to lean inside again to say one more thing.
"And also for me, or else who'll be my toy?" She said with her smug smile "Fuckin..." Yulil muttered before he inhaled some air.
"Leave!" He yelled at her while she kept chuckling and closed the door behind.
Yulil hit the back of the chair with his head as he wondered just what the hell he got himself into.
He looked around the cramped room, it looked like a shack? The windows were painted black so he couldn't really say where he was.
He sighed and looked at the ceiling.
Five minutes passed.
*Thud* The door suddenly was kicked open, yulil wondered who was it.
Scar suddenly entered the room as she kept scanning inside, she continued walking until she hit the wall, dispersing into dozens of digital particules... A hologram.
With no gunshots, the real scar entered the room aiming her rifle around as she scanned for hostiles, followed by ash, she immediately looked at yulil.
"Hey there, don't worry it's safe" he said Scar turned the safety of her weapon on and grabbed her knife.
"Just what the hell have you got yourself into?!" Ash yelled "Pffhaha, that's exactly what I said to myself five minutes ago, it's been a while ash, where the hell were you these days?" Yulil asked.
"With you obviously" she replied.
"Eh?" Was all yulil could say, a little bit scared now that he has a watching angel, watching his every move 24/7,
"Your vital signs seem normal" scar softly said as she cut the ropes that tied yulil's hands.
"Cheers" he replied while rubbing his hands He then got up and straightened his clothes.
"So how did you find me?" He asked "I noticed you sneaking out but when I tried to follow you I got captured by Laura, you can guess what happened next" she said, having the face of someone who was having flashbacks of war, he couldn't hold his laugh.
"Then I got scar's help by pointing your location through your phone, she's really amazing!"
He chuckled and looked at scar and also noticed something different on scar's face, he couldn't say what but he just knew there was something on her mind "If you wanna say something you're free to you know?" Yulil said with a friendly smile "Who was your kidnapper? Did you see his face?" She said angrily... Angrily? Yulil thought he was imagining as he heard her angry tone.
"Am I dreaming or are you upset right now?" He asked with wide eyes "I don't know what you're talking about" scar replied with a calm and collected tone, either he was imagining things or scar noticed herself, he decided to just drop things for now.
"Em, why are you drenched?" Ash asked as she held her chin.
"I... It's long story, let's just go back to parabellum for now" he said while stretching his arms upwards, ash and scar looked at each before following him.
"I told you that you were dumb as hell" ash barely could say as she was laughing too much, scar was behind the duo walking with her usual face barren of emotions, the trio was moving along the road.
"Ugh, I don't wanna hear it from you" yulil replied.
"H-hey, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ash added with an angry expression "That means I don't wanna be called dumb by an absolute idiot...hey!" he replied Before ash rammed him, he almost tripped as she chuckled.
They could finally see the entrance of parabellum, and a black jeep was at the entrance...
"I don't remember expecting visitors" yulil said as he slightly increased his pace.
He notice laylah standing by the jeep, Anaiel was leaning against it while crossing her arms, felicity looked like she was by the outpost speaking with M16 "Yo, you girls already missed me?" Yulil said sarcastically as he waved at them As they noticed him they formed a smile.
"You're in deep shit buddy" Anaiel said with a smirk.
"Huh? Why?" Was all yulil could say.
Felicity then noticed him, she had quite the angry expression on her red face, she slowly started walking towards him, he put his hands up while slowly walking backwards "Look, I don't know what I did but can we just calmly discuss this over?"
Felicity didn't mutter a single word as she increased her pace before throwing herself onto him as she hugged him tightly.
"It's over, you're safe... Welcome home" Felicity whispered with a soft and weak tone into his ears, yulil's eyes slowly widened as he remembered himself desiring those very same words.
He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her.
-
Hope you boys liked this chapter even though nothing much happened, my studying is going smoothly so I thought I'd squeeze out a chapter from the freetime I got, exams are starting tomorrow so pray for your boy will ya? 3 Oh yeah, I wanted to know if you guys would like the dialogue to be "This way?"
"Or this way?"
Since I've noticed few books do it in italics, but I thought italics would be better so it'd be easy to differentiate from the usually text, whatever you guys like, just tell me.