Danni2016! Thank you so much for your review! And all your reviews. They're a great comfort in times of doubts...
I felt like it was dragging a bit, yet every scene seemed important, so I don't know. Anyway, I have some pretty cool (or so I believe) stuff in mind that I can't wait to write! So things will speed up a bit, hopefully.
Now this one I had been expecting for a while... I hope you'll like it too!

EPISODE 29 – Home – Part I

I'm just stunned. While I listen to Glenn telling us what happened. When I realise what kind of man Daryl's brother is. I cannot understand.

I spend the day keeping myself busy. Patrolling the fences, securing a back entrance so the people from that town can't sneak up on us. We're more vulnerable than we thought. At the end of the day, Rick needs to compel me to get back to the cell block and get some rest. But I just sit on the bottom bed of our cell, in a daze. Sive is fast asleep in the top bunk. And Connor comes back from helping the others strengthen the gate.

He sits by my side in silence.

"I don't understand…" I end up saying out loud despite myself. It's simply all I can think about.

"I can. That's his brother. It's family Tin'," he answers quietly.

"But that's not- If it was my brother, if it had been Liam, I…"

I trail off. What would I have done? My brother was – or is – a piece of shit, and I hate him. But would I abandon him to die alone if he was here? Connor is right; it's family. Though he still scoffs:

"Aye, if it had been Liam, I might have killed him on sight."

I let out a laugh, even if it's far from funny. But I choke and my chuckle turns into a sob. Daryl left. I couldn't even say goodbye. That tosser took advantage of the fact that I wasn't there to try and stop him. And part of me egotistically wonders if he didn't leave because of me. He didn't even say goodbye.

Connor wraps an arm around me, hugging me close.

"I'm sorry; I think I'm just tired…" I try to make excuses that don't fool anyone. Though it's true that I haven't slept in almost two days now. And my stinging eyes can't stay open.

So, I fall on my side, on the bed. And Connor carefully lies behind me. He pulls the cover over my body as I shiver. And I grab his hand to make sure he still holds me close. Even if I can't relax my gritted teeth, I rapidly fall asleep in his arms.

I wake up in the middle of the night with him still spooning me, and it's the most precious, most familiar feeling. A slight moonlight is passing through the sheets that are blocking the door, allowing me to discern shapes in the dark. So, I turn in his embrace to watch his face. He immediately opens his eyes. We're lying so close, our noses are almost touching, and I can feel his hot breath on my cheeks. Yet I can barely see him.

His hand slowly trails up my side to come caressing my face gently.

It's chaste; he's not demanding anything; he just wants to be there for me. And I'm suddenly overflowed with love for him. Putting my hand on his jaw, I capture his lips. He inhales sharply at that slight tender touch, and I feel my own heart suddenly beating stronger. So, I kiss him again. His hand is squeezing my shoulder with a clear message: 'stop now or don't stop at all'. Connor's touch has always been electrifying. So, I lightly brush his lips with my tongue, seeking entrance. And, as soon as his own tongue meets mine, it's like a dynamite fuse has been lit. I can feel it in my whole body. There is no going back.

It's been so long. Yet it's so instantly intimate. We know each other. Despite the years, there isn't a single thing we forgot. And it's more than thrilling, to feel his hands graze and tease all the right spots, to recognise the wonderful taste of him. I can almost sense the battle inside him, as he wants to take his time and enjoy it, though his body is forcing him to hastily get a years-long awaited release. And maybe he also wants to give me some time, because he breaks the kiss, catching his breath to say something.

However, I pull his shirt over his head. I'm done waiting. And guilt-tripping. And being cautious. And denying myself what I want. Right now, I want him more than anything else. And my palms roaming on his warm bare chest now are sending chills down my loins.

"God, I missed ye Connor…" I can only whisper not to awaken anyone.

His answer is lips on my neck, my collarbone. He starts with the buttons of my shirt, though buttons have always been an inconvenience between us, and he pulls the shirt above my head in turn. We try to be as silent as possible, but the feeling of his skin against mine still tears a moan from me.

We get rid of the rest of our clothes, still under the cover, just relishing in each other's closeness. Our nether regions find one another through a mind of their own. We can't help grinding into each other, however slow and discreet we try to be. Our bodies recognise one another effortlessly. It sends a warmth of comfort and love through my whole being, and tears come out of my eyes. He kisses them away as if he'd known they'd be here. He whispers into my ear how much he adores me in our mother tongue. And when he finally enters me, carefully, searching my eyes in the dark, I'm having flashbacks, of all the previous times, of all those moments when we were happy. Carefree. When we thought our luck would never run out.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Tin'…" His voice quavers as he reaches as deep as he can and stops, filling me whole. Buzzing with pleasure. Our bodies melded together.

"Shush!" I laugh mirthfully while my hand flies over his mouth to keep him quiet.

However, when he starts moving again, I'm the one who can't repress a blissful groan. His fingers cover my lips in turn, though I bite them. And he licks and sucks mine over his own, until our mouths find one another and his rhythm leisurely increases.

"Fuck, do I need to pull out?" he asks breathlessly before neither of us can think anymore.

Damn, trying to do maths, while I can feel him sliding in and out of me lazily is almost torture.

"No, we're fine."

We giggle like gleeful kids trying not to get caught. Thankfully, the bed is sturdy, bolted to the wall; it doesn't even move. So, I can wrap my legs around his waist pressing him to hasten the pace. Propped on one elbow, with his hand in my hair, the other clutching my ass, making sure I meet with his thrusts to take him further each time, with his lips nipping mine, his jaw now clenched, he's taking me with him into a world of jouissance.

I can feel his heartbeat drumming against mine wildly; I can hear his suppressed whimpers muffled in my hair; I can taste the salty sweat on the crook of his neck. And when his body starts trembling, I completely lose it. I muzzle myself against his skin to keep from crying out loud. And as soon as my walls clinch around him, he follows me there. Jolting and growling.

"God I love ye…" His mouth is still flattened against my cheek, stifling his words.

I hug him tighter than ever, not letting him withdraw nor pulling his weight off me. He has trouble catching his breath, and I know I shouldn't have let him be on top. Though I also know Connor; I know he needed to feel in control right then.

So, I let him turn on his back to inhale properly. He keeps me close and brings my head on his shoulder. I find a comfortable position, nested against him, immediately, muscle memory. Or maybe our bodies have truly been made to fit perfectly together. In any case, we both fall back asleep before any rational and potentially sobering thoughts can form in our foggy brains.

We wake up smiling like idiots. All day, either of us finds ways to trap the other in a dark corner or excuses to get alone in any room and get naughty.

However, always when we part after a new encounter, I suddenly feel Murphy's absence, stronger than ever. Because this intimacy was something we had come to share, all three of us. And even if Connor makes me forget the whole world for a moment, it comes crashing down every fucking time afterward.

Not to mention that, of course, I can't count all the moments I've searched around for Daryl with my eyes, to tell him something, to ask for help or offer mine, before remembering abruptly, bitterly, that I'll never get to see him again.

But I must pull myself together. Regain focus. I must keep in mind that this is not the time to daydream.

Because when that truck full of walkers smashes down the fence, I'm not remotely ready. Now, to be honest, none of us was.