Living without Magic had been difficult at first- much more difficult than she ever could have imagined. She never realised how much she had used it before- how casual it had been for her. For years she found herself reaching for her wand to perform a task mindlessly, and feeling the jolt of anxiety that shot through her system when she could not find it.
It felt like she was amputated, like a part of her was missing. There were a lot of things she had always taken for granted- for example boiling water in a kettle took much longer than the boil from her wand. Cooking was more difficult and time consuming when one could not simply charm the knives to chop the vegetables.
The worst was travel. She had never appreciated how big the country was, and how far away everything was geographically. Taking a train somewhere took ages- and traffic was even worse. It had been infuriating the first few years without Portkeys or Apparition. Airplanes were another experience altogether- hellishly uncomfortably and journeys that had taken seconds now took most of a day if not longer.
She was not welcome in the Wizarding World. The few times she had ventured into the outskirts of it she was met with scorn at best and open hostility at it's worst. She was also frequently in the tabloids- her appearance almost always causing a large to do in the local papers, usually dragging whomever she was with into the thick of it. She grew tired of the fanfair and the attention and decided to become a recluse to that world, and cut most of her ties.
She still had her friends, friends who ventured into the Muggle world to visit her. Lionel Spavin was a frequent visitor and occasionally a collaborator. She had given him all of her notes, her spells and her curses- all of her research, the good and the bad for safekeeping. She also gave him her box of notes from her time in old Yugoslavia- warning Spavin that it was best to destroy that research.
Lionel was the most successful over the years at bringing her back into the edges of the wizarding world. Teasing her with brain bending problems he faced at work, new mysteries he uncovered in the vaults, and general thoughts on spell structure. She could no longer perform magic but she could talk about it theoretically- even though it hurt her soul to do so. It was torture, being so close to something she missed, and to know she could never use it again.
But she survived- she adapted. She distracted herself with technology, buying a computer and was an avid consumer of Freeserve- back in the early days of the internet. MP3 players were game changers and now smartphones had changed the way she consumed media and communication. She had always been intrigued by technology and computers and she used this time to learn how it all worked. She enrolled in the local university as a mature student, taking classes in Information Technology and Software Engineering. It wasn't as compelling as theoretical magic had been, but she found the structure of scripting soothing and delightfully mind bending. She soon found work in it- casual and freelance- enough to keep her comfortable.
She kept in touch with her family, Draco and Narcissa. She had attended Draco's wedding, she bit her tongue as the society reporters spent the whole night trying to get an interview with her. She had invited Charlie as her plus one to the event, a move that scandalised Narcissa and angered Lucius so much that he refused to speak to the couple the whole night- a relative plus.
Draco had done well for himself, Astoria Greengrass was a progressive pureblood- and Draco had vowed that he would end the family prejudice with his children. They would teach their kids a better world view- a fairer one. Cassiopeia was proud of him.
Andromeda moved to Bath which was a short train journey away. She couldn't bear to live in that house any longer. It was filled with too many memories, too much sadness and sorrow. She started fresh with Teddy, raising him with the help of his extended family in Godric's Hollow- also in the west country- not that distance mattered for wizards. She was the only one who felt it when they were far away. The two women spoke daily, and visited weekly. They were closer than ever.
She met with Constance Green- her friend from school- monthly after the farmers market. They always sat in the market hall at a cafe and drank a cup of tea- catching up and talking about the wider muggle world as a whole. Constance could still use her magic but she rarely did, not with a muggle husband and soon to be child on the way. Cassiopeia was happy for her, and she was thankful they were able to remain friends after everything.
It was in 2002 when Cassiopeia realised her calling in this new life- a realisation she had while working with a particularly unruly teenager who was staying in the shelter. The boy had attacked another man, pulling a knife and threatened the staff.
Cassiopeia was on duty that night, a volunteer caretaker and she had witnessed the scene and had pushed her way into the middle of it. The boy was young and stupid- reckless and afraid- his eyes wild as he faced the perceived threats around him.
Her eyes lingered on the knife- a squat little thing knicked from the dinner service. He held it tightly and with little finesse, it was not a weapon he was comfortable with, it was more for intimidation than anything. Cassiopeia talked to him, tried to calm him down and de-escalate the situation. She would have succeeded if another guest of the shelter hadn't tried to take him down from behind. The boy saw the movement and was spooked, the knife glinting as he swung it through the air defensively.
Cassiopeia stepped in swiftly, her hand grabbing the knife and twisting the boys arm around him, kicking his feet out from beneath him.
She supported him as he fell to the ground slowly, and delicately plucked the knife out of his hand. He tried to fight against her, he yelled and he screamed bloody murder, and yet she remained firm, holding him tightly and gently, restraining him so he couldn't hurt himself or anyone around him.
The police had been called and he had been taken away, crying the whole time- raging- yelling. It had been his last chance she found out later while giving a statement to the police constable. He was orphaned, troubled, and difficult. No one would take him in, and after this stunt it seemed Juvenile Detention was his only option.
Cassiopeia called Lima that night much to her annoyance- it had been very early in the morning.
She knew she could help that boy, that she could give him the final chance. She understood better than anyone what he was feeling, the fear, paranoia, and anger- she had felt it all as well- hell without the help of Andromeda and Ted she likely would've had the same fate as him.
She bought a house in the suburbs of the city, and paid a ludicrous amount of money to various local politicians and charities to get credibility, but eventually the government signed off after a haphazard inspection of her home and a disinterested interview. She owned a group home- one that would hopefully specialise in troubled youth.
The boy who had attacked her with the knife was her first guest.
It hadn't been easy- but she had managed to get through to him, and he began to trust her. He needed stability and he needed safety- a sanctuary where he was free to be himself, free of judgement and with unquestionable support.
More came, and soon she had a bustling home filled with children of all backgrounds and ages. There were plenty of fights, thefts, police visits, and in one case a child had tried to burn down the house. But one by one, she managed to get through to them- usually after she had disarmed them each multiple times. It helped that they learned they could not hurt her, and they would lose every fight with her- in an annoyingly pacifist way.
Children came and went- sometimes moving to other foster homes, and occasionally to be adopted into their permanent families. She kept in touch with all of them, keen to ensure they were safe and happy. It was rarely easy- but she enjoyed every second of it.
The Weasleys as a whole were distant but friendly. They saw each other briefly on Holidays- exchanged presents politely when they would drop off Teddy. Teddy would spend the morning with her and Andromeda and then the evening with his extended family for holidays- with the Potters and the Weasley clan as a whole. Andromeda would spend the evening with Cassiopeia, with her delightful delinquents and misfits that she had fostered. Cassiopeia found being around them, in their house difficult- the memories were overwhelming and the magic was overpowering. She never lingered when they dropped off Teddy.
The Aurors visited less and less- in the first few years she could count on them searching her place at least twice a month, if not more. They followed her, always suspicious, eager to arrest her. As the years passed the visits became monthly, then quarterly- and now almost ten years on they were almost non existent. Once or twice a year she could expect someone to drop by from that world, they were always conspicuous- a warning that they were still watching, that they had not forgotten. She would smile and wave- mostly content to be away from the world.
Charlie was her main connection to the wizarding world. Travelling was more difficult for her than it was for him, on account of her not being able to charter Port Keys or apparate to Romania. He had offered to leave his job for her, to move back to Britain, but she steadfastly refused to allow him to do such a thing. If he left his career to be with her, well- she would leave him.
She had toyed with the idea early on of moving in with him in Romania- leaving the country behind and all of it's bad memories. But Andromeda was here, and so was Teddy. She couldn't leave her family- not after everything that happened. Her decision to stay was cemented when she started the group home, her future now tied even more tightly to her city and her new muggle community.
She and Charlie still saw each other frequently, perhaps a weekend or two every month- He would Floo to Andromeda's house in Bath and she would visit him there, or more frequently he would apparate to her place. Cassiopeia bought him a mobile phone and they spoke several times a week and when they were not speaking they were texting, sending each other pictures of their day, talking about everything and nothing.
They were not together in any official sense or even with a capital T. She did love him, and he loved her, and in a different life, or a different time she was sure they would be a couple again. For now they were the closest of friends, fond of each other, and perhaps one day, when they were older and retired- they would finally be together. For now they did not force it to be anything, each content with what they had of each other, and savouring their time together.
She volunteered at the local community center she had helped fund all those years ago- working at the homeless shelters and organising community fundraisers and drives. Most of her kids from her group were involved in that place in one form or another, either taking classes or helping in the garden, a few just liked the cafe and the quiet areas- they all found some type of purpose being around there.
Xxx
Cassiopeia spotted the boy a week before- when she was working at a food kitchen. He had been lurking outside- peeking in furtively.
Cassiopeia liked to think she knew the majority of the homeless and rough sleeping population in her city. She was a local community organiser and frequently worked with them to find them shelter, food and other services they were lacking.
She also knew most of the children who slept rough or who were at risk in the community. She had made it her job- ingratiating herself with the local authorities and turning her own home into a care home for wayward teens and wards of the state. She specialised in the tough cases- the kids who were particularly violent and antisocial.
She was therefore surprised to see a new child in her town, furtively looking around and carefully entering the line.
Her skin prickled when she felt something off about it- a wave of power was emanating from him, subtle but unmistakable. Magic.
She watched her colleagues as their eyes slid over the boy, their attention on the other patrons. The boy reached over to fill his plate with all of the food that did not require any contact with people. Mainly bread and salads- the hot food out of reach as they required human interaction. People who seemed oblivious to his existence.
Her face twitched as she filled two plates and informed her colleagues that she was taking her lunch. The boy had tucked himself in the corner, away from everyone else and devoured his food, his eyes scanning the room frequently.
He froze when his eyes met hers and she smiled. "No need to look so surprised- here." she placed the food in front of him, "thought you might like something warm- Mind if I join you?" she asked while taking her seat, effectively negating any objection he might have.
He was frozen in fear, his eyes wide and his face pale- "you can see me?" he whispered quietly.
She nodded, taking a bite of her food, "Your spell works on Muggles, but not on me. I am quite adept at detecting magic- I used to be something of an expert at it in a past life." She said quietly.
The boy paled even further and twitched as if he wanted to run. "Magic.." he whispered- his eyes wide.
She sighed, of course. Muggle born.
She carefully pulled a folded up piece of paper from her pocket, a remnant from an orgami art class earlier in the day at the community center. She swallowed- her eyes darting around quickly. In the last few years the Ministry's presence had lessened and she was certain they had all but forgotten about her- but it was still a very large risk she was about to take.
She leaned forward, dropped her voice- "Can you keep a secret?" she asked.
He nodded, intrigued despite himself.
She glanced around again, her nerves tingling. She used to know when there were Aurors around- their magic a shining beacon to her. She had become even more sensistive since she was forbidden from using magic herself. She was almost certian there was no one watching her today.
The muggles were another problem, they were in a room full of them. Luckily whatever charm the boy was inadvertently casting seemed to cover her when she went to sit with him. No one paid them any mind.
She covered the folded paper frog with her hand and focussed- feeling a familliar jolt of magic shiver along her spine and down her arm. The paper was animated briefly, looking around and hopping towards the boy, who caught it with a yelp- his eyes wide now with excitement isntead of fear.
"You're like me, you can do things too" he said excitedly. She smiled at him, clasping her now shaking hands as she looked around again quickly- expecting the might of the ministry to fall on her and drag her to Azkaban for her small display.
The memories of using magic faded over the last decade, she had forgotten the feeling if it. This had been the first time she had broken her sentence, and the thrill of just that little power sent all of those memories flooding back and she shivered- her stomach aching with desire to perform more- to feel that spark under her skin again.
The lifetime in Azkaban sobered her and she looked at the boy again, smiling cautiously.
"I am- or was. Not really allowed to do that anymore, so best not to tell anyone." She said, pushing the now inanimate frog over to the boy, "You can keep that if you want. I'm Cassiopeia- or Mildred- I go by both names." She said, "What's your name?"
The boy was suspicious once more, the paper frog disappearing into his pocket. "Why arent you allowed to do magic anymore." he carefully picked at his food, shovelling a few large bites in after a few hesitant tastes. She smirked, pleased- he had clearly been hungry.
"I broke the rules a long time ago,"
"There are rules?" he asked, his eyes sharp, a little bit worried.
She laughed, "Don't worry- how old are you kid?" she asked, continuing her own food.
He grew quiet once more, focussing on his food. She shook her head- it seemed the kid was intent on keeping his secrets to himself. Fair enough, she was a complete stranger afterall.
"Keep your secrets then- if you need food or a place to stay let me know- I am sure we can find you a bed-"
"I am not going to another group home-" he sounded terrified, pushing his food away and looking a second away from running. She raised an eyebrow, concerned.
The boy was clearly a runaway and had not had a good time of it.
"I don't blame you- I spent time in a group home when I was your age. It was horrible. I meant a place here- outside of the authorities if you want. I mean, normally we would have to report you, but that notice me not charm of yours would give us some leeway here."
He did not relax but he did continue eating, staring at her the whole time.
"I don't need your help." He said stubbornly, shovelling another bite into his mouth.
"Course you don't, you're a wizard with a pretty innate grasp on your powers it seems." she said casually.
The boy's eyebrows lowered, "A wizard?" he asked quietly, cautiously.
"Oh yeah, You're a wizard and I'm a witch- or was- we can do magic. There is a whole magical world out there kid, when you turn 11 you'll be formally introduced to it- and get to go to school to learn how to do magic. That's when the rules start to apply by the way."
"You- you're full of it" he said looking like he wanted to leave again.
"Let me guess kid- you can do things that you can't explain- when you're feeling angry, scared or happy. Things that can't be explained- say you summoned a dessert that you really wanted, or make things disappear. You can hide in plain sight with that charm you've got right now. I bet the Muggles- non magic folk that is- were not too understanding when they saw, probably punished you or were afraid of you and you ran away." She said, staring at the boy and looking for any reaction to her words.
His face twitched and he reddened, but remained silent as he sulked.
"Whatever your story is, you don't have to tell me- you don't have to tell anyone. But- if you come back here tomorrow, i'll bring you a treat from our world- something called a Chocolate Frog- and tell you a little bit more about magic. Sound like a deal?"
He glowered and finished his food, pushing it away and shrugged, his eyes staring hard at the table.
She shrugged- figuring that was the best reaction she was gonna get. "Catch ya later kid, and if you're looking for a bed- we got a few here every night- just pop round a little later and im sure you can snag one." She left the table and the strange boy, fighting every instinct to go back to him, to help him further.
He was suspicious and it would do no good to force her help onto him. He would only run away, scared. He had to come to her.
She spent the whole night thinking about the boy, alone on the streets- at least he had eaten one good hot meal she tried to console herself. And it was summer- the nights were warmer, rain slightly less frequent.
He would come around, eventually. With the help from a few of her kids and steady persistence, and perhaps a dash of sweet bribery- she was sure she would help the child.
Her mouth twitched into a smile, content with her new challenge.
It would be nice to have a young wizard around- especially one so near Teddy's age.
fin
a/n And that's it- Part III finishing at 464 pages in google docs- we are close to 900 for all three parts! Blooming heck I never thought I would finish this or even imagined what it couldve become! Thank you all for your support over the years- Special Shout out to some repeat reviewers -brnicholas for Parts 1 and 2 with very keen insights that I greatly enjoyed reading. Beesy for showing support multiple times danke shön! I really can't stress enough how great your thoughts are and how grateful I am that you took the time to leave reviews- AvalonTheLadyKiller - Thanks so much for binge reading this- I hope it was worth it in the end! TinyYetMighty- Thanks for your thoughtful review- I actually have not read Stieg Larsson's books, but I think I might now! I honestly dont know where the inspiration came for this character beyond the very very early idea of frame of reference from the podcast invisibilia (amazing- new season is up now). I took that idea and ran, and spent waaaay too much time reading some pretty dark psychological experiments from the early 20th century- I also read lots of account from survivors of abuse, trauma, PTSD, and then really spent some time trying to think through the mind of someone like Bellatrix Lestrange- that blind fanaticism mixed with psychopathy- and how normal people would react to years of dealing with that.
Shout out to the other folks who left reviews- Amelia, Ntbaldy, Coffee Targaryen, Jensbertino, Phoenix 1023, , Changsterfan, rosebaby123, bookworm125, and the multiple guest reviews!
In other news, all of that time in Bellatrix's head means there might be another story about HER life that will also be canon(ish) and follow in line with this story. Give me a few months head start on it, but it will probably be coming, it will be M and explicit in other ways this one was not.
Let me know what you guys think- last chance as I mark this complete and forget about it (until I inevitably go over typos- this was literally written mostly on an iphone with no beta)- also I am pretty open to any and all questions- and if there are any particular scene you would like to see, let me know- i'm also open to one shots. There are lots of little scenes i've written that never made it into this main story line.