Chapter 43
The Revanchist
"No…no, papa, please don't leave!" whimpered a young girl as she tossed and turned in bed, her arms clutching at her teddy bear. "Papa, stay!"
"Audrey," a gentle voice roused her, a tender hand tugging at her shoulder. The seven-year-old soon stirred from her sleep, her cheeks and pillow wet with tears as she lurched up to meet the gaze of her mother.
"Mama?" she panted, coming to grips with herself as she pulled the golden strands of her hair aside to look at her.
"It's alright, dear. You were having another nightmare. I'm here now." Her mother embraced her, laying a soft kiss on the top of her head. "Do you want to come with me? We'll sit together on the sofa for a while."
"Okay," Audrey murmured, taking her mother's hand as she carried her bear with her. They walked into the living room of their Taris apartment, the glittering beauty of the Upper City's nightlife in full view out the glass door of the balcony. Their living arrangements, while nowhere near the extravagance of the Tarisian upper class, were still fairly beyond what most could hope for – a great gift from their benefactor who enabled their stay.
The young child looked up at her mother as she strolled, ashamedly conscious of the fact that she was trudging along as if stepping on puddles while her mother, dressed in a fine silk light-blue nightgown, seemed to saunter with elegance befitting of royalty. A tall, slender woman of 28 years, her golden hair flowed radiantly in elegant waves halfway down her back as her cool blue eyes stared longingly for a fleeting moment out to the stars before averting their gaze.
"Come up. Sit," she said, lifting her daughter up and sitting her back down on her lap in the middle of the sofa.
Audrey often felt a sense of joy and comfort whenever she sat with her mother on the sofa, for they would read books together to distract themselves from the bitter reality they had to face on a day-by-day basis. But now there was a deep unsettling feeling that seemed to bite away at her, and she held onto her toy bear tighter than before.
"I know you miss him, sweetheart. I feel the same way," her mother sighed as she cuddled her. "It's the harsh truth, but nothing can bring him back. I need you to be strong for me, and for your little brother and sister."
"I miss home… miss my old friends… miss daddy most of all," she wept, wiping her tears with her sleeve as she struggled to look anywhere but down at her own lap. "I dream of daddy all the time. Every night, I beg him to stay but he won't. Why doesn't he want to stay with me?"
"Audrey, darling, look at me."
She couldn't, too preoccupied with her own grief.
"Sweetheart, look at me. Please," she asked again, more strongly. Audrey did as she was told and peered up. Her mother's sparkling eyes, once so serene and soft like a calm lake, had definitely become steelier with cold resolve over the past several months since her father's death. "You are my daughter, and I will always protect you. But there's no going back from this. I can't change the past, no matter how much I'd like to – none of us can. All we can do is keep going and try to make it through this. But I can't do it alone; I need you to stay strong, not just for your brother and sister, but for me."
"But you're not alone, mommy! Doesn't Gavin always offer to help? Why do you always say no?" Audrey cried. "Christie takes good care of us when you go to work, but nobody takes care of you, because you won't let him!"
She exhaled and peered down, touched by her daughter's concern for her. While her housekeeper and nanny indeed was a great help in looking after her children while she worked in her job as a saleswoman at a luxury airspeeder dealer, she had never entertained the idea of accepting courtship from any man ever since the death of her husband.
"Sweetheart," she said, combing her fingers through her daughter's hair, "you need to understand the difference between loving someone and simply wanting them."
Audrey looked up at her, confused. "What do you mean, mommy?"
"Let me ask you something: what makes you think that Gavin loves me?"
"Well, he…he tries to do nice things to you. Gives you presents. You said that we're living here because of his help. He always asks you if there's anything you need."
"I see. And how much attention does he give you and your siblings? Does he do the same for you?"
Audrey murmured, thinking hard as she held her hand against her chin. "Well, he…he does give us nice presents every once in a while."
Her mother crossed her arms. "And how often does he ask you simple things, like, say… 'how are you?'"
"He…he doesn't. Not that I remember off the top of my head."
She sighed. "And that's how I know that he doesn't love me. Any of us, for that matter. You see, sweetheart, if you truly love someone, you'll want to share your life together and make sacrifices to help each other achieve your dreams. My dream is to see you and your brother and sister grow up living healthy, successful lives, and to find someone who makes you as happy as your father did for me. Gavin is…not interested in that. He's not interested in helping me to achieve those dreams at all. He's only interested in…well…my body. And that's not love."
"But he's trying harder and harder to get you to like him."
"There's two kinds of people – those who do good things because they truly want to help others, and those who carry out favors and put on the act of a hero because they want to make the other person believe that they owe them something in return down the track. Gavin's the second type. Believe me, Audrey, as much as there are good men out there, you'll come across many who'll throw away that mask of kindness very quickly. When they know that they're in a position of power and start to feel that they're not getting what that they deserve, they'll turn on you. That's why…," she took a deep breath, having fully committed herself to plunge into the unknown, "that's why we're going to leave Taris. Very soon."
"We are?" Audrey stared, dumbfounded. "But where will we go?"
"Dantooine. It's a beautiful planet, very similar to home. We'll be safe there, I promise."
At last, Audrey managed a smile. "Sounds good, mommy. But wouldn't Gavin be very upset? Won't he try to find out where we've gone?"
She nodded. "He will, honey – there's no doubt about it. That's why I'm not going to say one word to him about it. He's—"
A series of loud, almost thunderous footsteps quickly approached from the apartment complex's main corridor. Its pace quickened with every step as the woman's heart plummeted, her eyes tensing up with fear. Before either of them could summon the will to move, the door began to shake violently from the force of the fist and foot that slammed repeatedly against it.
"Caroline!" the brute voice of an intoxicated man bellowed as the wood began to crack and give way. "Caroline, you fucking ungrateful slut, open this fucking door!"
Caroline leapt to her feet with Audrey and grabbed her by the shoulders, looking her squarely in the eyes. "Audrey, go to your room. Go to your room and hide under your bed. Do not come out of there no matter what, do you understand?"
Audrey could only look at her with trembling eyes. "But momma, I—"
"Go!" Caroline cried, fighting down the urge to shriek as she hushed herself to a whisper.
Heart pounding, Audrey ran as fast as she could to her bedroom and shut the door behind her. Just as she crawled under her bed, the front door of the apartment broke down with a thud against the floor. Booming footsteps rattled the floor as they shot past her room, straight into the living room where her mother stood her ground.
Audrey could do little else but tremble in fear as she could barely make out the noises which became fainter by the second, drowned out by an ever-increasing ear-splitting screech which pierced her eardrums.
Shouting.
Struggling.
Wailing.
Begging.
A slap, followed by the shattering of glass.
Wooden furniture broken.
A thud.
Coughing.
Wheezing.
Crying…moaning…
A pause…
Choking.
Feet thumping.
A sharp gasp.
Two soft knocks landing on the floor, one after the other.
Silence
...
...
...
She pinched herself and blinked repeatedly as hard as she could, convinced that this was yet another nightmare. It was of no use, as the man walked back across the corridor to her and her siblings' bedrooms. Her four-year-old brother was first, crying as he had no idea what had happened in the darkness, let alone why a gruff hand was pulling him out of his bed in a vicious grip. Alerted to the sound of the two-year-old girl's crying, the man then stormed into her room and snatched her from her cot.
Petrified knowing that she would be next, Audrey began to shake uncontrollably under her bed. Then, just as the door swung open, the assailant was interrupted by the loud blaring of sirens and alarms. Cursing under his breath, he darted out of the apartment, leaving the stricken child in her utterly helpless state.
-o-
"Carth! Audrey!" Elena shouted, rousing the woman from her memories of the past. She and the rest of the Ebon Hawk's crew who remained behind now rushed over to the loading ramp, which Elena struggled up while helping Kael pull the limping Canderous aboard. Bastila, while not showing any visible signs of injuries, looked equally worse for wear, her face and clothes darkened with dried blood as she walked behind them, looking like a ghost.
"What the hell is this? What happened out there?" Carth gasped as he and Audrey reached out to take in Canderous from an exhausted Elena. Juhani, while peering at him sympathetically, was not yet willing to unreservedly offer her help to the Mandalorian.
"Trask double-crossed us," Kael explained as he walked onboard. "He was tortured into working for the Sith after he was captured on the Endar Spire. He and Calo Nord are now dead."
"Double-crossed? Trask?" Audrey shook her head, disgusted by the actions of her compatriot. "I knew that he turned into a self-serving fucker, but to join the Sith? A man from House Ulgo, of all people? I…I can't believe it."
"Carth, please set course for Kashyyyk after helping Canderous to the med bay – we need to leave immediately," Kael requested. "Once we've had a proper chance to catch our breath and Bastila has had time to wash up and get changed, we…," he momentarily looked down at his feet, then straight up at the pilot's eyes, meeting him with a solemn gaze, "we need to talk…"
Carth stared right back, as all could feel the tension rising in the room. "We do."
Elena stepped forth, extinguishing the standoff before it could properly form. "Come, we need to get going. I'll explain everything that's happened out there in the desert to you while Bastila prepares."
-o-
Once a thriving center of commerce, the Corellian capital of Coronet City was subdued into a sinister hush. Previously lulled into a false sense of security due to its vital status as the hub of shipbuilding activity for the Republic war effort, its dejected citizens now faced the grim reality of living under Sith occupation. Many heads hung low whenever they came face to face with Sith soldiers in a bid to spare themselves further trouble, which served only to embolden the cruelty inflicted by the invaders.
Debris and bodies were strewn all across the street – victims who fought back with any manner of weapons they could after the decimation of the orbiting Republic fleet, only to die helplessly from targeted Sith bombardment. Some fought to the bitter end, enduring until the last blaster cartridge was emptied in savage street fighting before charging in vain towards troopers. Corpses were laid in piles outside medical centers, all of them Corellian civilians and militia who died slow and agonizing deaths after the Sith forced the medical staff at gunpoint to only operate on wounded Sith personnel.
A small girl hobbled weakly onward in the middle of night as part of a long procession of Corellians who were rounded up and marched into a theater which was used as a makeshift detention facility. Exhausted from the walk after enduring the most hellish day of her life, she collapsed onto the cracked pavement. Blood began to seep from her knee after the impact as she curled up into a ball and cried, feeling unable to go on.
"Get up!" a gruff Sith soldier yelled, going so far as to kick her in the back before yanking her up onto her feet. "Keep moving!" He shoved her in the face, sending her flying backwards once again in a heavy fall. The subdued civilians didn't even glance sideways to peep at her out of fear for their own safety. The soldier paced over to her, his rage growing by the second. Grabbing her by her collar, he yanked her back onto her feet and pulled her towards him. "I swear, if you don't start walking right this instant, I'll—"
"Put her down." The firm voice of a woman demanded from behind him, causing him to loosen his grip ever so slightly out of surprise. The soldier turned to see a lithe figure garbed in a black hooded cloak which concealed her face from his view, as her gaze was fixed on the little girl.
Spotting the shoto lightsabers clipped against her thighs as well as numerous small knives and a holdout blaster pistol holstered on the torso of her black leather outfit, the soldier recognized her unique designation. "This is my jurisdiction, Agent, so do not interfere." he declared, standing his ground. "I am the captain of this company, and have my orders from the Vice Admiral himself. These civilians are to be detained in the theater at once."
Dissatisfied by his response, the woman sighed. "I won't ask you again. Put down that girl and give her to me." She looked up and pulled back her hood, revealing blonde hair tied in a neat bun, blood-red lips and a pair of cold blue eyes which glared at him menacingly. "Do I make myself clear?"
"S-Special Agent Alis," the soldier stammered, releasing her girl and backing off. "I-I didn't know that the Vice Admiral sent you down here to—!"
"Get out of my sight," she hissed, sending him nervously marching back in formation by the flank of the procession. Looking down at the girl who was shaking at her feet, she got down on both knees and laid soft hands upon her. "Are you ok?"
"Mmmpf…," the child cried, burying her face in her knees, still fearful.
"I promise I won't hurt you," Alis insisted, her tender words sounding like music to the girl's ears after having to endure the rough barking of the soldier. "You need to come with me. Can you walk?"
"N-no," she shook her head. "Too tired…"
"Well, you've got no choice but to tag along," Alis insisted, removing her cloak and wrapping it around the shivering child. "Stick around here, and another of those men will come for you. You don't want that, do you?" The little one silently shook her head. "That's a good girl."
The child stared in wonder as the woman picked her up in her arms and proceeded to walk to the theater, drawing the intrigued gaze of all Sith soldiers around her. This utterly beautiful woman, nothing like a monster, who was showing her kindness and care…could she truly be one of them?
"What's your name?" Alis asked, looking the child in the eyes.
"Anabel," she murmured.
"That's a beautiful name," Alis smiled at her. "Where are your parents, Anabel?"
"I…I don't know," she started to weep. "I can't find them."
She held the child closer to her and spoke into her ear. "Listen to me well, Anabel. I'm not going to mince words or give you a false sense of hope – your parents are most likely not coming back."
"Wh-what? But how could they—"
"Look around you – this is your reality now, and you have to live with it. You can't afford to be weak, Anabel, even if you're just a little girl. If you want to survive, then you have to learn to be strong. Not next week, or even tomorrow. Now. From here on out, you have to fend for yourself. No-one will look out for you while they're looking to save their own skins. The only person you can trust from here on out…is yourself. Trust me on that."
Anabel's eyes widened with panic before the message began to sink in, as she nodded in acknowledgement. "Thank you, miss…Alis, was it?"
"That's what the soldiers call me," she said as she began to approach a group of Sith officers who were in charge of overseeing the detention zone. "But between us – and you have to promise to keep this a secret – my real name is Celia."
"Special Agent Alis, this is most…unexpected," a female Sith officer stepped forward, looking curiously at the child who lay in her superior's arms. "What are you doing with this child?"
Celia looked down at Anabel. "Remember what I told you." After receiving a nod from her, Celia looked up at the Sith woman and remarked. "I want you to take this child personally to the detention center. Have her fed, and try to locate her parents if possible. Return my cloak to me once you've found a suitable replacement blanket for her."
The woman, seeing that she was surrounded by mostly male soldiers and officers who looked to be in no mood to provide any help, accepted her charge. "As you wish, my lady." She took the child in her arms and disappeared into the theater, and that was the last that Celia saw of the little girl.
"Your orders were to rendezvous with me at once, not carry out menial little acts of charity that are unbecoming of a Sith," remarked a man who approached her from behind, his voice sounding wearier to her than usual.
"Apologies, Vice Admiral Krieg," she replied, turning around to greet him. A short silence ensued, their cold blue eyes staring intensely at one another. "You wanted to speak with me, sir?"
"Indeed. Come with me at once," he narrowed his eyes and walked past her at quick pace, forcing her to match his speed. Entering the theater, they walked up the red-carpeted staircase to the third level and exited to the balcony, away from the loud melancholy chorus of the civilians confined in the main chamber.
"You know that that apology was just for show in front of the troops and not sincere, right?" she stated, crossing her arms. "I won't stop the troops from doing whatever they will to adults – that's what they do, and it keeps the local population in line. But kicking and throwing around a child? That, I can't stand."
"I'm well aware of that," he said bluntly, his hands gathered behind his back. "I didn't call you here to fraternize with you. We took this planet with great effort – far more than what I first expected, due to the tardiness of Karath. Part of me believes that we won't be able to hold this position for long, if the Republic launches a quick counteroffensive. Therefore, before we're pressed into action again, I called you here in order to assign you a new task."
"So, let's get straight to the point, then," she waggled her head, seeing that he was being as cold as ever. "I'll take a guess – you want me to track someone down and kill them, right?"
"Not quite. But first thing's first; I should tell you that Calo Nord and Trask Ulgo have been killed in action."
Her eyebrows rose at the mention. "Not surprised by that failed second-rate Republic soldier. I told you that he wasn't worth the trouble anyway. I suppose Nord's ego got to his head, to try and take on several Jedi all at once?"
"It appears so. I knew deep down that Nord and Ulgo would fail, but I didn't raise concerns with Malak. Perhaps I should have…"
"Come on now, you and I both know that we wanted to see Karath screw things up and crawl back to Malak with his tail drooping behind his legs," she laughed.
"He should be grateful that he still keeps his head for the time being," Krieg scowled. "Karath's a fool, but even Malak himself knows that he is not yet easily replaceable in his theater of operations. Rear Admiral Varko is skilled in logistics, but is a shoddy tactical commander. If Lord Revan and not Malak was still in command and able to choose and assign officers as he saw fit, then this war would have been won already. We would still have a proper Officer Corps, not some procession line to dispose of commanders one after another."
"It's not like Malak's got anyone to blame but himself. Who in their right mind would want to rise to the position of Admiral so quickly, when he chokes them to death almost as soon as they're promoted?" She was momentarily silenced when he shot her a disapproving glare. "Sorry. What are Malak's orders this time?"
"This special order is from me, not him. He's already sent Darth Bandon to do his bidding. Now listen closely…"
-o-
"You should count your lucky stars that your friend on Dantooine kept that armor on hand. If it were anything else, I doubt you'd be able to ever walk again," Revan said to Canderous who was seated in the medical bay as they examined his physical scans. The Mandalorian still stared longingly at his armor which saved his life, while from the main hold, they could hear Elena relaying their actions to the others.
"Heh. What did you expect?" he scoffed. "One of our women would probably be able to take on five of your Republic men in a firefight – such is the durability of our armor."
"Well then," Revan shrugged and smiled. "I guess someone will just have to tell Admiral Dodonna that the best way to beat Mandalorians, if another crisis comes up, is to topple a building onto each one of you."
"Too bad not every Republic medic who finds a Mandalorian incapacitated in that way will turn out to be as lucky as Dean," Canderous laughed. His smile soon faded, however, when the party members in the main hold soon fell into a silence. Bastila then emerged behind them, dressed in a fresh set of robes and the grime of battle cleaned off her face. "I guess that's our cue."
"You should stay here," Revan insisted. "I did what I could, but you should lie down and recuperate."
"You think they'll just stand still and politely let you make your case to them? Fat chance they will," Canderous smirked.
"Let him," Bastila said softly. "There's nothing else for it now – it's time."
The three of them entered the main hold together, and yet all eyes were undivided, fixed solely on Revan. He looked side to side, his friends' gazes ranging from anticipation in the case of Zaalbar, Mission and Juhani, to cynicism in Carth and Audrey who stood ever so slightly in front of Mission.
Elena turned to him. "I've told them what happened out there in the Sand People's camp after you returned, how we bid Jena and Dean goodbye, and what Trask's actions will mean for us going forward. The rest...is up to you. You need to tell them in your own words exactly why you returned to us." She lowered her voice to the most inaudible whisper. "Good luck…"
He nodded and slowly stepped forth, his shoulders drooping as he sighed heavily and gently closed his eyes. Then, gathering his inner strength, he opened them up once more and stared directly at the ones he instinctively knew would feel the most pained and alarmed.
"I…I am Revan."
Carth's eyes flickered at the mention. "What? What did you say?"
"I am Revan," he said firmly, not moving an inch despite the twitching in Carth's fingers which inched towards his blaster.
"H-how could this be?" Juhani gasped. "Revan was defeated! How can this…how could Kael be him?"
"What do your feelings say to you, Juhani?" Elena asked. "Can you honestly say that you never felt a familiar presence since Revan redeemed you in the Dantooine caves?"
Juhani stammered. "But I…"
"And Carth, you've held your suspicions all this time, ever since Taris," Bastila stated. "You questioned me why Elena and I requested Revan's transfer aboard the Endar Spire. You suspected us when we began his training on Dantooine, despite his advanced age. Now you know the truth. Elena and I never killed Revan aboard his starship – we captured him alive and brought him to the Jedi Council."
"'Kael Deren' was just an alibi," Revan admitted. "A false identity the Council planted in my mind while they relied on my visions to gradually reveal the secrets behind the Sith war effort. I didn't remember who I truly was, but the essence of who I am – my desires, beliefs and conscience – remained the same. But now that Elena has lifted that shroud, my mind has become clear: I am Revan, former Dark Lord of the Sith. Now I stand here as your companion…your friend."
Seconds passed, during which not a single soul moved. The group stood on opposite ends of the central console, with those aware of Revan's identity standing on one side and those who were not on the other. Mission, Juhani, Zaalbar and Carth stood silent with their lips ajar, while Audrey merely stared intently at Revan, her eyes not leaving him for an instant.
Then, without warning, Carth pulled his blaster pistol out of its holster and aimed it at Revan's head, panting through gritted teeth.
"Carth! What the hell are you doing?!" Mission screamed, surging forward and grabbing with both hands against his forearm. Knowing what HK-47 and Canderous would be incline to do next, Revan raised his arm to the side, his palm pointed downwards as a sign to hold back.
"Do you know what I've suffered because of you? What I've lost?" Carth hissed, his finger on the verge of pulling the trigger. "My planet. My home. My wife and son… All gone because of you!"
"Carth, please! At least give Revan a chance to explain himself!" Elena begged, stepping forward and putting herself between Revan and Carth's blaster. Having none of it, Revan pulled her out of harm's way and held her back, his hand squeezing tightly onto hers in a sign of confidence.
"Cool it, Carth," Canderous interjected. "Everyone knows that it was Malak who ordered the destruction of your world, and that Karath was the one who obliged."
"It makes no difference!" Carth spat. "If Revan stayed loyal to the Republic instead of turning to the dark side, then none of this would have happened! He's just the same as Ma—"
"Let me speak," Revan stepped in front of Elena and demanded in a firm, yet accommodating voice.
"Carth, please," Audrey whispered softly, reaching out and turning his cheek so that he met her gaze. "Not like this. Not in front of Mission."
He turned his head to look back at Mission who was on the verge of tears, her lips pursed up as she still grabbed for dear life against his arm. Relenting with a reluctant sigh, he lowered his weapon and holstered it. His demeanor didn't soften in the slightest, however, as he glared back at Revan. "Explain yourself, then."
"Believe me, Carth, when I first found out the truth about who I am from Elena, my reaction was the same as yours," Revan said. "I felt disgust, anger and betrayal at the fact that she kept everything secret from me. I remembered what Trask had said to me about refusing to be used by either the Republic or the Sith, and that the ultimate goal was freedom. So I ran away to Mos Eisley, hoping to never be found again and to start a new life on my own terms…but I couldn't do it.
"The next morning, I saw a slave auction being held in the streets. Innocent souls being held captive against their will, broken on the inside and crying for mercy. Among them was a Rutian Twi'lek woman called Nima who reminded me of Mission. I tracked her and her buyer down after the auction and used a Mind Trick on him to set her free. Still, the fact that I could only save one person, while being unable to do the same for all the others for fear of exposing myself…it destroyed me inside.
"And so I made up my mind. Whether I was truly Revan, or Kael Deren, my identity was irrelevant. I wanted to help people; to set them free. I couldn't stand idly by and do nothing while the Sith enslaved people on a galaxy-wide scale." He then turned directly towards Elena. "And I won't run and abandon the people I love to suffer and die."
"Love?" Juhani asked, her eyes widening with disbelief. "You-you mean…"
"Yes, Juhani," Elena confirmed. "Revan and I knew each other since we were children. We grew close during our youth, and eventually fell in love. We are engaged, and have been ever since before Revan first left to join the war against the Mandalorians."
Taking her cue, Revan pulled out the pendent that lay around his neck, concealed beneath his robes. "This belonged to my mother. It was my engagement gift to Elena on our last night together before I left. You all must have seen Elena wearing it at some stage."
"I returned it to Revan last night, as I felt guilt for not standing by his side as he went to fight the war against the Mandalorians. I owe it to him now, to do what I failed to do then; to support him through this. Only after I've achieved that, will I accept it back from him."
"You two…are engaged?" Audrey stammered, her eyes darting between the two. While the subtle hints of their romantic feelings were plain for all to see on Dantooine, the deeper revelation came as a shock. "Elena…is your fiancé?"
"I'm also the reason why he never full fell to the dark side," Elena declared. "When Bastila and I faced him aboard his flagship, our first impressions were the same as yours, Carth. We thought he was an irredeemable monster, and yet he spared us after overpowering us in combat. He could have simply killed and discarded me and taken Bastila as his prisoner to try and break her to serve the Sith, but he didn't. He could have chosen any woman to replace me, be it an influential Galactic Senator or even a sovereign queen of a planet, but he didn't – he still loved me only, and that's how I knew that the light in him had not died completely."
"Elena and I made the choice to save Revan, and look where that's led us to!" Bastila implored and looked at the others, starting with Carth. "We escaped the destruction of the Endar Spire and made it to Taris." She looked in turn at Canderous, Mission, Audrey, T3 and Zaalbar. "We escaped with our lives to Dantooine, when Taris was turned to ashes." She then looked at Juhani. "We were given second chances, even when we didn't think we deserved it. And…," she stared down, "I was reconciled with my mother." She looked up again, her eyes full of determination. "Think what you wish of him, but you should know well that had Elena not begged and fought tooth and nail to change the Jedi Council's minds, Revan would have been condemned to death, and none of us would be alive right now. The least all of you owe him is to simply trust in him!"
"I won't demand anyone's trust, Bastila, and I certainly will not demand anyone's obedience," Revan stated. "The choice belongs to all of you: will you follow me?"
After a moment's pause of reflection, Juhani was the first to speak. "You were the one who saved me, Revan. Not only from my slavers on Taris, but also from my own darkness when we met again in the caves of Dantooine. I know deep down that I can never truly repay you, but I can only hope that I can help you stay on the path of the light, as you did for me. I believe in you."
Revan gave her a silent nod of acknowledgement and thanks, then turned to Zaalbar who spoke next. "I have fought alongside you since Taris, Kael…Revan…it doesn't matter. You have fought and bled to protect Mission on numerous occasions – that alone has proved your character. You also long to see other people set free from the bondage of slavery – I shall always remember that. I am with you."
"Go back for me, please," Mission said softly. "Just before, you said that you freed a Twi'lek slave who reminded you of me. What did you say her name was, again?"
"Nima," Revan stated. "She had grey eyes, which made me think of you."
Mission's eyes lit up, intrigued. "How old did she look, exactly?"
"Mid to late thirties, I'd say. She looked like she had a rough life, but could speak enough Basic to allow me to have a conversation with her and send her on her way with the gear taken from her buyer, after I used my Mind Trick on him."
The young girl stood silently with her mouth slightly ajar for a few seconds, then rushed over without warning and tightly wrapped her arms around Revan, causing him to gasp with surprise.
"Mission," he said, suspending his arms in the air, "what are you—?"
"Thank you," Mission wept. "Nima is the name of my mother. There's no way now that we can go back to try and find her to know for sure, but…thank you for saving her. Thank you. You've risked your life so many times to protect me: bitten by rakghouls, shot at by Vulkars, mauled by kath hounds…even took a huge beating by HK-47 over here."
The droid chimed in. "Commentary: Please excuse me, Master. Had I known it was you, I would never have attacked. Although, the fight with the Wookiee was most enjoyable indeed."
"I won't judge you by what other people have heard about you in your past," Mission continued. "You've always looked out for me ever since we met on Taris. You came back because you thought of me. You've put your life on the line for us more times than I can count, and for that, Big Z and I will stick by you 'til the end. I don't care if you were the Dark Lord. To me, you're the brother that Griff could never hope to become. I love you."
Comforted by her words, Revan returned her gesture, embracing her back. "Thanks, Mish." T3 soon followed up with positive chimes and beeps of approval, voicing his agreement with Mission.
Carth and Audrey stood with disturbed looks on their faces, not believing how easily their companions had warmed up to Revan despite knowing all too well the horrifying acts unleashed on the galaxy because of him. Unmoved by the outpouring of support, Carth was unequivocally still on his guard. "I've seen what power can do to a man, Revan. I witnessed the mentor I looked up to utterly destroy my world and leave my wife dying in my arms. There was a time when Saul was a man loyal to the Republic and to his friends, and look what happened to him. How can I know that you simply won't turn on us at the first opportunity, like he did?"
"Carth," Revan defended himself. "I'm no longer the man I once was. I feel more and more of my old power returning to me – that much is true. But I won't forsake what I've worked hard to earn back and might lose forever if I slip down that dark path again, and that's Elena's love and trust. The only thing I want now…is to put an end to this war and return to our life together on Coruscant. I want to start my life anew, just as you have the chance to do the same now with Audrey."
"You think you're so different from all the other Jedi who fell to the dark side and joined the Sith?" he argued back. "I'm no Force sensitive, but it doesn't take one to feel how you've changed compared to before you went out into the desert. I can see it in your eyes – you've tasted a flicker of your old power with which you dominated others in the past. You're acting all humble and cooperative now, but what guarantee do we have that that won't change as time goes on? Will you still be the same man you are now when we get to Korriban, of all places?"
"This is my burden, Carth," Elena said. "I'm sorry for not revealing everything to you sooner. I know now that I should have gone with him to fight the Mandalorians instead of listening to the Jedi Council and staying out of it. I wasn't there to support him in his darkest moments, and so he gave in and embraced the power of the dark side. But now that we're together, I promise I won't let that happen again. I can stop it – I know I can."
Seeing that Elena was adamant in her assurances, Carth sighed deeply. "I guess that's it, then; looks like I've got no other choice but to take a blind leap of faith into the unknown. I'll work with you for as long as I have to, but mark my words: I'll always keep an eye on you. I lost my family once at the hands of Malak; I won't lose it again at yours."
At last, all eyes turned to Audrey. She closed her eyes and took a breath to compose herself, then walked silently and slowly to Revan, stopping right in front of him. "I'm not going to mince words with you; I stand firmly with Carth on this one. I'm no stranger to hearing people give big impassioned speeches about being there for the ones they care about; I've seen firsthand how power and influence turns those people into monsters. They offer their help, acting like saviors and expecting to be treated and rewarded as such. Then, when they come to the realization that the people they help don't show the gratitude that's expected of them, they take off the mask.
"I lost my mother that way. Raped and murdered by a man who pretended to care for her. I ran away despite hearing the sirens of the police, as I didn't want to think of what might happen to me if I was at the mercy of the 'upright' Tarisian upper society. I spent two weeks wandering the Lower City eating out of and sleeping in dumpsters as the winter set in, sharing my accommodation with rats. I was found and taken in by Gadon, along with Zaerdra, and over time I learned the value of knowing who to trust. Right now? I'm not so sure about you."
"How can you say that, Audrey?" Elena protested. "Don't compare Revan with that…that…"
"Monster?" Audrey scoffed. "You were about to say that, right? Please, do go on."
"I won't defend myself from criticism of my past actions, Audrey," Revan answered. "All I can do now is to try and set things right. To do that, I need your help. All of you."
She could only shake her head. "Things have changed. Far too much, and all too fast. I just can't bring myself to view you, Revan, in the same way as I looked upon Kael Deren. Carth is right – you've changed. Kael was confident yet humble, strong but measured in his approach. But you? Elena herself told us all about how you and Bastila practically carved through those Tusken warriors who attacked you, without holding back. That's nothing like how I remember you overcame Juhani on Dantooine. Something's awakened in you again, Revan – something dark, and that's worth watching."
"Please, just give him a chance to prove himself!" Mission pleaded, grasping her hands together. "He's the only chance we have at stopping Malak. Don't you understand what'll happen if Malak wins? Everything that we've dreamed of will go up in smoke!"
Torn between the painful memories of her mother's death and the heartfelt pleas of Mission, Audrey turned to and leaned against the central console, the palms of her hands sweating as they pressed against the surface. Finally, after unwavering pressure, she relented and faced Revan once more. "I still remember what I said to Carth soon after we first arrived on Dantooine: that I wanted to find my little brother and sister no matter what. The war itself didn't mean much to me personally that day, despite the terrible loss of Taris. Well, now it does. Trask had been working for the Sith all along, and Mission almost lost her life on Tatooine because of him and Calo Nord. There's no escaping this conflict anymore, and there's nothing to do but fight.
"I don't know what'll happen to us going forward, but I want you to know one thing: I won't break the promise I made to Zaerdra as she died in my arms. I want Mission to be able to experience an ordinary life and everything else which I personally missed out on. I want to give her the chance to go to school while she still can, like any other normal child; to see her grow up in a safe and stable home. I don't want her to become like me. I couldn't do anything to protect my brother and sister, and now, after more than 25 years, I…I've come to accept that I probably won't even recognize them if I saw them, and that they're most likely lost to me forever. But I won't abandon Mission. Never."
"Audrey…," Mission whispered, touched by her words.
"Revan," she said, looking at him with her signature glare which never failed to send chills down the recipient's spine. "I will follow you, but only as long as you stay on the right path. Even with my training and experience, I know that in the end, I'll be powerless to stop you should you turn against us. But I warn you…even though it might seem hopeless, I'll fight you if you turn. I will never allow you to hurt Mission. I'll die for her if I have to."
He nodded, accepting what amounted to little more than her co-operation. "I understand, Audrey. That's all I can ask from you."
"So I guess that's it, then?" Mission said after a brief moment had passed, feeling relieved that the tension was at last simmering down. "We just…keep going forward."
Carth agreed. "We don't have much other choice. Let's just cross our fingers and hope that we don't run into any trouble on the way to Kashyyyk." He turned to go back to the cockpit, but not before glancing one more time towards Revan, an air of uneasiness written all over his face. "At least not the kind that we can expect."
After giving Revan one last intense stare of watchfulness, Audrey followed after Carth without speaking any further. Elena let out a sigh, disappointed that the two of them were not fully onboard.
Seeking to lift the mood, Mission smiled up at Zaalbar. "Look on the bright side, Big Z, you're finally going home! I want you to show me your family and—!" She stopped when she saw him turn his back on her, skulking by his lonesome to the cargo hold. "What's gotten into him all of a sudden?"
"Something must be disturbing him," Revan guessed. "We should give him a few hours to gather his thoughts. Mission, why don't you go to the dorm and get some more rest? It won't be long before we reach Kashyyyk, and you should be fully rested. Canderous," he looked at the Mandalorian, "you deserve a good rest and checkup after what you went through out there. T3, please do what you can to help speed up his healing. And Juhani," he turned to her, "you should go and get some proper sleep, too. I can't thank you enough for patrolling at night to keep the others safe while we were gone."
An appreciative smile and stoic acknowledgement were written on Juhani and Canderous's faces respectively as they retired to the portside dorm and med bay, while Mission gave him one final hug and a kiss on the cheek before heading to the starboard dorm.
"HK," Revan said and turned to his loyal droid who was standing behind him the whole time. "That will be all. I'm sure you're eager to repair your gear; head on over to the garage and do what you need to do."
"Answer: Thank you, Master. Proceeding to repair weaponry." The hunter did as commanded, the floor beneath him hardly emitting a sound as he walked away, leaving just the three of Revan, Elena and Bastila alone in the main hold.
"I…suppose that the two of you want time alone together, now that we're finally out of danger for the moment," Bastila remarked. "If you need me, I'll be in the portside dorm with Juhani."
At Elena's beckoning, Revan gently grabbed her wrist as she turned to walk away. "Bastila, wait."
She looked back at him, perplexed. "What is it?"
"Bastila," Elena said, "you're right in saying that Revan and I want time to ourselves – it's been years since the last time we spent time together like this as a couple. But more than that," she pulled her in and put her arms around her, "we're a family again. It's barely been half a day since you lost your father, Bastila. Revan and I can't just ignore that fact simply because we want to enjoy our reunion."
"Everyone on this ship has lost someone precious to them, Bastila," Revan added, embracing them both. "Nothing is forcing you to keep from opening up to us if you need to. At this stage, none of us could give a damn about what the Jedi teachings say about attachment and emotions. How else would we be able to know the difference between right and wrong? We help each other, no matter what."
"Thank you," she whispered, finding peace in their arms. "But really," she said, breaking apart slowly, "I think I should rest. I need a moment of silence to myself in order to gather my thoughts."
Elena nodded. "Of course. Whatever you need."
Leaving the two of them alone, Bastila walked down the corridor to join Juhani, her thoughts lingering on her father and mother. Although she was relieved to have reconciled with her mother, the inability to save her father was still a sore spot that gnawed away at her heart.
With her mind so fixated, she couldn't hear a single word spoken by either Revan or Elena as she approached the short bend at the entrance of the dorm. Curious, she leaned back across the wall and peered out to the main hold. There they were, nestling in each other's arms as they locked lips softly for the first time in years, ending with Revan placing a protective kiss upon Elena's forehead and holding her close. Bastila backed herself up against the wall, her heart beginning to pound as she gasped.
Why? Why do I feel this way?
I…I should feel happy for them, but all I can feel is…pain.
Pain and…jealousy?
I…I did everything right. Fought dutifully against the Sith at the Council's behest. Saved countless lives and won many battles for the Republic with my Battle Meditation. Sacrificed so much. Shed so many tears.
My reward was…my father's death.
She…she didn't have the courage to follow him. Didn't see that he needed her to stay by his side so that she could keep him on the right path. She backed down in fear. Her fear led to his corruption, and that to unimaginable suffering.
I don't know how my life will turn out anymore. What I'll do, where I'll go. I'm no longer a young girl under their protection and tutelage. I must stand on my own two feet.
She…she has everything she desires. A home to return to. The love of her life. A future they want to build together.
She has him.
I have…why do I have nothing? After all that I have given?
It…it's not…fair.
It's not fair.
She spun around and walked to the bed on the far end of the dorm, ignoring Juhani who had already fallen into a slumber after enduring her final night watch. She collapsed onto the bed and buried her face against her pillow, thrashing in vain in a bid to get the haunting thoughts out of her head.
Then, just as the tears began to flow, her father's words echoed in her mind once more.
'Bastila, my darling… Your mother and I felt so much pride, knowing that you became the great Jedi you promised to be, fighting to protect others – to do what is right.'
She lifted her head, as a newfound fire began to burn in her eyes.
Father…you never lost faith in me. Never stopped believing that I can help to save the Republic from a cruel fate, no matter how dark things seemed.
I won't back down. I won't give in to whatever these selfish desires are, that are simmering inside of me.
I can do this.
I know I can…
A/N: Hi all, hope everyone's managing to stay healthy and safe during this crazy year. I wanted to finish this update so that we can wrap things up on Tatooine and the full Revan reveal; Kashyyyk is next, and I'm very much looking forward to it. There are so many possibilities that I've thought of for the plot on Kashyyyk when it comes to giving each party member a meaningful part, so it'll take some time to brainstorm and set out.
Since I've had a lot of spare time during this lockdown, I downloaded KotOR and played again through Steam as a memory refresher, and it's really unbelievable how well it holds up even by today's standards even without graphical update mods. I definitely wanted to add to the Revan reveal compared to the game when it comes to focusing on each character's reaction, and much more tension when it comes to Carth. Ideally, I want the characters' goals and motivations to be as intertwined as possible, rather than treated like separate and independent side-quests as they were in the game.
It was interesting to revisit the OCs of Vice Admiral Krieg and Celia, who were first introduced way back in chapters 4 and 26. Since they'll have big roles later on and it's never that easy to imagine an OC's exact face based on narrative descriptions, I've based Krieg's personality on Colonel Hessler from Battle of the Bulge (1965), played by Robert Shaw, and his appearance on the real-life SS officer Max Hansen (1908-1990); Celia's appearance is based on Angelique Bouchard from Dark Shadows (2012), played by Eva Green.
Hope you've enjoyed this chapter (as dark as its content may be). I'm looking forward to bringing you the next update with Kashyyyk as soon as possible.