I woke up this morning in Ivy's arms. It was strange, and a little more intimate than I wanted from someone other than Daddy. I miss Daddy. Shut up.

When I tried to slip out of her hold, she breathed deeply, stretching a bit before opening her eyes, "Mornin', Harl."

"Mornin', Red."

We got up and ate together and I showered before she did. After I'd gotten dressed, while she was still in the shower, I moved through the rooms of her house, looking at her "babies" carefully. There were so many different types of plants and I only recognized maybe a quarter of them. Every so often I'd reached out and touch a leaf, a flower petal, a stem. I reached for one last leaf, not noticing that the tendrils on it were razor sharp. I also didn't notice that it was actually half of a leaf, the other side stretched out and looking just as innocent as the one I reached for. And when I touched it, the two halves snapped closed on my finger. I shrieked and pulled back automatically, but the genetically altered Venus flytrap wouldn't let go.

Ivy walked in behind me and yelled, "Stevie, no!"

She rushed forward, reaching out her fist and then separating her fingers, the plant's "mouth" opening and releasing me. She took my hand in hers and frowned, "This doesn't look good."

"It's not too bad," I winced. "Just needs some bandages and I'll be good as new."

"I should have warned you. I'm so sorry."

I waved her off. It's not like I was dripping blood everywhere. They really were just little cuts, "I'll be fine. Because of the chemicals, minor cuts heal within a few days. Makes getting tattoos much easier."

She brought me into the bathroom and set about cleaning my fingers with alcohol. I winced again, instinctively pulling away. She just shook her head, "Don't be a big baby."

"You'd think after living with Mistah J, I'd be used to a little pain."

"Why do you put up with that clown?"

"Don't get me wrong, my Puddin's a little rough sometimes but he loves me, really."

"Sure, he does. You're just one big forgiving doormat, aren't you?"

"I am not a doormat! … Am I?"

"If you had a middle name it would be 'Welcome.'"

I sort of wilted and she rushed to continue, "Oh, but cheer up, kid. You just need some lessons in good old female self-esteem. In other words, let's play with the boys on our own terms."

She had a brilliant idea. We were going to loot the Gotham Adventurers' Club. Women had been protesting the club for years over their men-only membership, but somehow the stalwart building remained closed to females. None ever entered. But today, that changed.

I drove her pink convertible to the club after we'd gotten dressed. I wore my harlequin outfit and she wore a green strapless bodice over lighter green leggings with ivy embroidered on them, and gloves that matched her bodice. When I pulled up at the Men's Club, she hopped over the side of the car and moved up to the guard at the doorway. I parked and hopped out after her, carrying a bag with her special pods inside.

The guard held out his hand, "No further, girls."

Ivy smiled salaciously and stepped forward, breathing over her skin into his face, spreading her pheromones through his lungs. He stepped forward and opened the door wide, bowing as he gestured inside, "Please, ladies, after you."

He followed us in and then locked the door at her command. Then we moved through the club until we found the men gathered in a sort of conference room. The man at the head of the table began sputtering when Ivy walked in, breathing heavily as she went and allowing her pheromones to float to their noses. It forced them to listen as she spoke.

"A moment, please, Mr. Chairman." she entered to the muttering of the men in the hall.

"Outrageous!" blustered the chairman, "See here, young lady, is this some kind of joke?"

"The joke, my dear chairman, is this obsolete, sexist mockery you call a men's club." She moved further into the room, "Now I ask you, what kind of adventurers refuse to admit women?"

As the men chattered disapprovingly, I moved behind them, dropping pods behind each chair. They noticed me but paid no mind to what the "foolish woman" was doing.

"Still, if it's excitement you boys crave," I handed her the last pod and she tossed it at the chairman, the pods then bursting open to reveal coils of thick, strong vines that quickly tied up each of the men. They were yelling, frightened, and I giggled. "That should keep you big, strong men busy while we weak little girls loot your trophy room."

"Gee, Red. You got style!"

"This is true," she smiled, leading me from the hall as the men fought against their binds and bellowed after us. Before too long we found the trophy room, obviously laden with all kinds of taxidermized animals, but also filled with gold, gems, rare artifacts that belong in museums. We took them all and brought them back to Ivy's place, leaving the animal bodies behind, of course.

Ivy was thrilled with the results of our excursion, but when she noticed my expression she faltered, "What's wrong, Harl?"

"Somehow I don't feel like my old perky self..." I knew what it was. But I didn't want to tell her. I knew she wouldn't approve. Still, I couldn't stop the words in my mouth, "Something's missin' …"

"Will you stop?" she frowned, "I can't believe you're still mooning over that psychotic creep!"

"Well, maybe I'd feel better if I knew he missed me too."

"You are so much better off without that clown."

"You're probably right … but I love him. So much."

"Shush, now. Why don't we plan what to do with our afternoon? I hear there's a massive diamond at the museum with your name all over it."

"You mean the Harlequin Diamond? That's actually how I ran into Robin. I was there to steal it and didn't even make it inside before he showed up."

"Why don't we do that?"

"Don'cha think it will be easier tonight when there's no one else there?"

"You're probably right, but what would we do until then?"

"Oooo, I wish I could go to the Toybox. I have so much to do there."

"What's the Toybox?" I filled her in on everything I'd been doing there and she laughed. Ivy cared nothing for people. In fact, I'd read in her file that she wanted to wipe out humanity and give the planet back to plants. Lucky she's not crazy or anything.

We wound up just talking until the early hours of the evening. After double-checking when the museum closed, we got ready to go and loaded up her convertible. It didn't take too long to get to the museum from her place. Once there she used more pods as beanstalks to get us to the roof.

"Whaddaya think, Red? Think those viney things can get me low enough to cut the top of the glass off?"

"Should be a piece of cake."

And it was. Her vines wound around me, lowering me through the hole in the glass on the ceiling we'd cut open. I used the glass cutter on the top of the square glass case and reached through to grab the diamond. As soon as I pulled it off its pedestal and alarm started ringing, "Red? Get me outta here!"

I tugged on the vine and it slowly started lifting. I was high enough by the time guards entered the Gem Wing that they didn't see me, and the vines finally lifted me out of the hole and onto the roof, "That was close!"

"C'mon, Harl, let's get out of here."

The vines carried us down to the car and we jumped in, rushing back the way we'd come before the police even showed up. They wouldn't know it was us unless we wound up on security tape, but who knows if that happened. It doesn't matter. Like Ivy had said yesterday, who's going to go looking at a toxic waste dump for someone?

We took turns looking at the diamond in the light, holding its heft in our hands. The largest diamond I have ever seen and it's ours.

.

.

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Author's Note #1:

Much of this chapter was lifted from Batman: The Animated Series episode "Harley and Ivy." My Poison Ivy is a mix of BTAS Ivy and my own version.

Author's Note #2:

I have about a week's worth of content left planned, and then the storyline moves on to Suicide Squad. Here's my question: since canonically she doesn't have access to a journal, should I skip Suicide Squad and write a journal entry as if she was back home after the end of Suicide Squad, or should I switch to a narrator pov to cover the content in Suicide Squad? I could also attempt to do more of a first-person narration, sort of continuing the journal style but in an as-it-happens capacity, but I have a feeling I'll struggle with that.

What do you think would work best with the flow I've already cultivated?