We just finished a long weekend here in Canada - hope everyone stayed safe and remembered to be kind to one another! Here is Chapter 27! I have to make a slight content warning - there are mature themes right at the end of the chapter - just a titch, so be warned...as always please drop me a few words to say how you are liking (or not liking, it's going to happen, I know) the story. Read and Review, Favourite and Follow!
Thank you to Levesque-Rollins823 for the review! Olivia may need Renee after this chapter is done…
Olivia stood in front of the bathroom mirror, What have I done? I think I was misled by the saleswoman at Forever 21 - this dress looks more like a negligee than something you wear out to dinner…thank god for the kimono… she twirled around, trying to find an angle that didn't make an uncomfortable amount of skin show. When she'd purchased the satin cami dress, she didn't really think about the reality of wearing it in public. She stopped twirling and sighed, It looks good…but it's just…damn, I've never worn anything like this in front of…well, anyone. "The mint color really suits you…you were made for this dress…your boyfriend is going to love it…" she muttered to herself, mimicking the magic words that sold the dress while shaking the floral kimono cover out of her suitcase and pulling it on.
There was a gentle knock at the door, "Livs? You just about ready? The Lyft is going to meet us downstairs in about fifteen minutes." Olivia started at Seth's voice, suddenly nervous about their first real date. She took a deep breath, put the finishing touches on her lips and gave up doing anything further with her hair - it usually did what it wanted to, anyways. "Yup, just coming now," she replied. She took one final look in the mirror, smoothed down the non-existent creases in her dress, and took one more deep breath, trying to calm her unruly heart.
When she opened the door, her nervousness about her own appearance was immediately put clear out of her head when she saw Seth standing there, dressed in the charcoal black suit and tie he'd worn to the reunion. His hair came just to his shoulders, and he'd trimmed his beard. Olivia's breath caught in her throat when she met his dark-eyed gaze - clearly Seth approved of her purchase. Olivia felt a flush creep into her face and she absently pulled the lapels of the kimono closer together.
They stood a moment longer, until Seth broke the silence, "That - that's some dress…" He took a step closer to her, "You…look…beautiful, Olivia."
Olivia no longer thought she'd made a poor choice of evening wear - if it got that reaction from Seth, she'd wear the dress every damn day… "Thank you…you also look…incredible…" She remembered the alternate adjectives she'd given Dean the first night she'd met Seth as they drove home from the reunion and thought they were still accurate…gorgeous…thoughtful…sexy…devastatingly handsome…irreparably charming…and she could add more. Her eyes flicked to his hair, long, flowing dark locks that she loved to twine her fingers in - she thought he had chosen to wear it down because he knew she preferred it that way, and she smiled to herself.
Seth reached out a hand to her, "Shall we?"
The stone steps leading down to Geja's Cafe were part of a beautiful paving stone courtyard with a gas fire pit on each side of the stairs. The fires were already lit, which Olivia thought made people feel instantly cozy and at home. She'd been riding a little cloud of happiness since they left the hotel - Seth had been right, taking a couple days just for them was a great idea. She loved the look in Seth's eyes every time he looked at her - and it wasn't just because she looked amazing, she knew she did. It was the look of a man who didn't want to be anywhere else but with her, no matter what.
Olivia knew she had been lucky to find love once. She knew what it looked like, and what it felt like to have someone want no one else but you…to be on the brink of that once again was both intoxicating and terrifying for Olivia. She remembered the first date Mark had tried to take her on in Seattle - thirty minutes late picking her up, Olivia had sent him away. She's been in the process of getting into her pajamas when a text from Mark had a video of him playing MmmBop on three water glasses and buzzing along on a drinking straw oboe. She'd fallen in love with him right then and there, laughing like a loon at Mark's performance and his complete disregard for his own dignity. As long as I can hear you laugh, Olivia…then I know I'm doing things right.
"Olivia?"
She started, realizing Seth and the host were both looking expectantly at her from a few feet away. She must have looked a bit strange, stand there staring into space with a wide smile on her face. Jeez, you have to stop doing that…get a grip! Be here. Be with Seth. The man you lo-really really care about. But it was easier said than done. Olivia walked over to Seth, took his hand in hers, and kissed him, "I'm here - lead the way." Seth brought their entwined hands up to his lips and brushed Olivia's knuckles with his lips.
Geja's Cafe was intimate, and dimly-lit for the evening seating. The flamenco guitarist had already begun his set for the night, and Olivia couldn't take her eyes away from his skill on the guitar. The host led them to a private table in a curtained alcove and gestured for them to be seated in the wooden booth inside. He handed them the menus and promised their server would be with them shortly. Seth took his, and made a pretense of looking it over. He looked over the top of the menu to where Olivia sat, also trying to pretend that nothing had just happened.
"Everything okay?" He had Dean's voice going through his head, remembering the advice had last given Seth when he'd texted last. Talk to her, let her vent and get it all out. Seth understood that there were challenges he and Olivia would face to be together, and he absolutely accepted that. He also knew himself well enough to know that there would be times where he was going to be jealous of someone he had no right to be jealous of. Like tonight. Seth saw the smile Olivia had on her face a few minutes ago, and he knew who it was for. She smiles at you like that too…but just then - that was definitely for Mark.
She lowered her menu, and Seth kicked himself for his fleeting jealousy. This look was only for him. "Yeah, things are definitely okay," she assured him. Olivia knew she couldn't hide anything from Seth - but she so badly wanted this night to be theirs alone. She hoped her emotions would play along, even if just for tonight.
Geja's was a fondue restaurant, with a cheese, bread and salad first course, and a wealth of meats to choose from for the main course, and dessert came with flaming chocolate to roast marshmallows on, and a selection of fruits for the dark chocolate finale. It did not disappoint in the least. Although they had been in a few restaurants for meals on this trip, Olivia couldn't have thought of a better location for their first real date. The music, the lighting, the ambiance…and she wouldn't have wanted to share this with anyone other than Seth.
They had almost finished dessert - Seth tried to demonstrate his mastery of marshmallow roasting, but instead wound up losing the perfectly toasted golden cylinder into the flaming chocolate. Olivia clapped her hands, and laughed as he tried to dig out the remains with a fondue fork. He loved to see her like this, happy and glowing from the inside out - she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and right now, in the candlelit alcove, he wanted her to be his. Seth patted his jacked surreptitiously, trying not to give away the fact that he'd stowed Olivia's present in his inside suit jacket pocket. She may have been giggling her head off, but she was still pretty observant, "Forgot your wallet?"
Seth shook his head, deciding that now was as good a time as any to present her with the necklace. His heart pounded in his chest as he pulled out the velvet rectangle and laid it on the table. Olivia stopped giggling. Her face lost all semblance of hilarity or amusement. She froze. Seth fought the sense that he was doing something wrong, If she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it. I can accept that…but I have to take the chance. He cleared his throat, "Um - I saw this in the mall when we were shopping the other day…I thought since you didn't bring anything to go with that incredible dress, and since we're doing a little early celebrating being together a month…that you would accept this…from me." He opened the box and let Olivia see it.
Olivia hadn't expected this. She reached for the blue velvet box with trembling hands - the necklace was perfect. A single oval opal glimmered in the candlelight, accented by the small diamond that sat above the larger stone. Set in white gold with a V-shaped bale, it was something she would have picked out for herself without hesitation. You should know that I think gold is gaudy…I will never wear this… Her words wafted through her mind as she remembered a first gift from years ago - a gold ring with a huge purple stone from a candy machine in the waiting area of the Hawaiian restaurant he'd taken her to, when she finally agreed to go. Mark had squeezed the tacky thing onto the first knuckle of her index finger and Olivia had sworn it was the ugliest thing she'd ever seen. When they started dating exclusively, she wore it on a silver chain around her neck until he'd given her an engagement ring to replace it.
She looked up at Seth, and saw him regarding her with a worried look, a look that I seem to keep putting on his face… Olivia swallowed, and she struggled internally to push away the memories that would not stop shuffling through her brain. She took a deep breath and fought to put a more appropriate expression on her face for him. "Seth, I don't know what to say…this is beautiful - it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She placed a hand on his arm, "I love it - thank you."
His face broke into a more relaxed smile, "Oh thank god…here, let me help you with it…" He got up to come around and help her with the clasp. His fingers felt warm and sure on the back of her neck as he deftly closed the clasp and gently brushed her hair back into place. His hands slid to her bare shoulders, and she tilted her head back when she felt him plant a gentle kiss to the junction where her neck and shoulder met. She closed her eyes, trying to hang onto being in the present where she so desperately wanted to be.
In her mind's eye however, she saw herself twelve years ago, sitting in a very kitschy tiki restaurant across from a young man who was far too confident in himself, and who so badly wanted to impress her. Most of that date had been the two of them debating literally everything…music, sports, families, hobbies…and she had been determined not to enjoy herself with someone who had been a half-hour late picking her up. When he tried to argue his point about why Seattle was a perfect city to expand the NHL into, she noticed that his dark hair was just a bit too long in the front, and it flopped into his eyes, making him push it back the more animated he got in his defense. It made her smile. She also realized that she knew more about him in one night than she knew about most of her classmates after two years. She was halfway through dessert when she realized she really wanted to see him again. And again.
Olivia felt a tidal wave of sadness land on top of her. It was heavy and cloying and she couldn't find her way through it. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping it would stave off the tears, but she felt her eyes start to grow swollen with them. She didn't want to ruin this beautiful moment with Seth, but she had to find a quiet place to lose her shit in before she embarrassed herself. "Seth, I have to get out…" she kept her head down, and put a hand on his chest to move him out of her way.
He smiled and backed out of the booth, not realizing what was going on with Olivia until she got out of the booth. Seth saw the wet tracks streaking their way down Olivia's face and did a double take as she hurried past him and tried to look for somewhere private to have her breakdown. "Olivia, what - wait…Olivia!" He took a few steps in the direction she'd gone, then stopped. What was he going to say to her - he didn't even know why she'd left. Don't be stupid, of course you know why she left…it's him. Once again, you did something that reminded her of Mark, and now she's probably crying in the bathroom about it - nice job. He dropped heavily back into the booth and sighed. It really doesn't ever seem to work out the way I think it will…Zahra went nuts the first time I gave her a present…
Seth shook his head. Olivia was nothing like Zahra, for which he was eternally grateful. But he was definitely having a hard time swinging back and forth when Olivia had bad moments. He held his head in his hands with his elbows propped on the table. That's not fair…you have no idea what it's like to have lost what she's lost. If you lo- if you love her, then you have to come to grips with the fact that she's not instantly going to be all better…this is her reality forever and she has to live every day with it. But that doesn't mean she can't love you too…you know you need to be patient. Give her room. Listen to her. Go find her, you big idiot.
Olivia fled into the women's washroom as fast as her footwear would allow, feeling flushed and awkward at melodramatically skittering her way through the restaurant on heels with tears streaming down her face. Mark would have teased you for years if he saw this…
"Mark is dead, goddammit!" She whispered harshly, glancing underneath stalls and hoping she was alone. She took a tissue from her purse and tried to blot away the tears - she was mostly successful, but not even Kleenex could make her eyes look less like pickled eggs. Jeez…why is every cry an ugly cry… she ran the cold water and tried to splash some water on her eyes to get them to look vaguely normal. Who wants to be with someone so broken she can't even get through a date without losing it…
She looked at the opal necklace Seth had given her, and felt a little flip in her heart. I love this so much…Olivia felt terrible about leaving him at the table like that…she wanted to talk to Seth, tell him everything about how she was feeling, to try to explain. Maybe it's time to take therapy more seriously…it's not fair to dump everything on Seth - Yes he's an amazing person, and a great listener, but he's not supposed to be counseling you through your grief. You need someone. And maybe...maybe you need to put Seth on hold for now. If he's not already made up his mind to drop you as soon as you get back to Cincinnati…
"Okay! Enough!" Olivia put both hands on the counter, and took a long hard look at herself, "You need to be completely up front with him - he needs to know everything - you're not asking him to solve everything, but he at least deserves to know what you're going through." And you have to be prepared for the fact that Seth, nice guy and general amazing person that he is, may not feel like sticking around.
She sighed, gave her face one more blot with a paper towel, and marched out the door to the ladies' room and collided with Seth in the hallway outside.
"Whoa!" Olivia grabbed onto Seth's jacket lapels so she wouldn't fall, and Seth instinctively wrapped his arms around her to keep her safe. They stood in the narrow hallway, hearts pounding, breathing rapidly, leaning up against the wall for balance. Eventually, Olivia looked up at Seth and saw a face full of concern, I so don't deserve to be looked at like that…she couldn't help the tears that started to fall again.
"Hey, it's okay - Livs let's get out of here, okay? Let me get you outside…" She allowed herself to be guided by a strong arm around her shoulders as Seth led her through the maze of tables. Olivia managed to mostly hold it together until they got into the courtyard, to a quiet corner with a table that no one was at. She buried her face in the front of his jacket and sobbed brokenly. Seth just kept her held tightly in his arms, and let her go, pressing the side of his head against hers and murmuring reassuringly until her shoulders stopped heaving, and her sobs turned to long, uneven breaths. Finally after one final deep breath, she looked up into his eyes, then raised a hand to lightly caress the side of his face.
"I am so, so sorry, Seth. I was really enjoying myself - this restaurant was so romantic, and this-" she closed her fingers around the pendant and smiled, "this is beautiful, really - I love it. I wanted tonight so much…we were having such a good time, and then I ruined it…" she bit her lip anxiously, wondering if he'd forgive her.
She really didn't have to worry. "Olivia…you have nothing to apologize for." She dipped her head, and he used a finger to raise her chin so she could see he was serious. "We are still having a good time…this is just a hiccup, not the first- " she rolled her eyes, and he kissed the top of her head, "- and not the last. We still have hours to go before this night ends…as long as you feel like carrying on, I thought we could go and check out the rooftop bar at the hotel? Have a drink - I think they even have live music and a dance floor - things could get weird…"
Olivia looked into his eyes and felt the corners of her mouth turn up, then she felt the uncontrollable urge to giggle come over her, and buried her face into his chest. When the giggles subsided, she came up for air, and looked into his eyes once again, "You…you are really too good, Seth Rollins. I don't deserve you."
He shook his head, "You're right - you deserve so much more…but give me a chance?" He let go of her and took her hand in his, "Are you ready to go? If you don't feel like doing any more, we can go back to the room and order room service…" He stopped and took a step closer to her, watching her for clues to her current mood, "Olivia - are you okay?" She blinked rapidly to clear the last of the tears, and took a deep cleansing breath, then she nodded quietly and he felt her grip in his hand tighten imperceptibly.
"I am now. I - I feel like such an idiot saying this - I was just thinking about…well about Mark…" she rolled her eyes, "Obviously." Olivia took a deep breath, "…about our first date." She dropped her eyes to the stone tiling in front of her, "I don't think I told you, but the anniversary of the accident is coming up soon…in a couple of weeks, actually."
Seth gave her hand a gentle squeeze, running his thumb over her knuckles, letting her know he was listening. She took a swallow around the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat, and continued, "I don't know what I'm going to be like…although I can't imagine it'd be any worse than what you've already seen…but I think it might be." Olivia flicked her eyes nervously around the courtyard, and wiped at her eyes, thankful that this area was so private, "I…I…oh god…I wanted you to know that having you here for the last few weeks has been…well, it's been wonderful. And if you decided that if at any time - this," she gestured to herself, "this is too much for you to handle - I get it. And if we only have this time - "
His heart dropped into his feet, and he felt a wash of heat come over him. He had to interrupt her, "Olivia, sweetheart…are you giving me permission to run when things get rough?"
She dabbed at her eyes with the napkin she somehow still had in her hands from the table and nodded.
He immediately took Olivia to the unattended table and sat down with her, taking both her hands in his. He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words, "What you have been through in the last year - no one should ever have to go through that. I would have to be blind to not see the effects it has had - and will probably continue to have on you." He pulled one hand out of hers to gently wipe a stray tear that threatened to fall, "There isn't a set time limit on grief - and there is no right way to grieve - and I know you loved Mark with everything you are. I know that doesn't stop just because he's dead." He faltered for a moment, then reached up to cup her face in his hand, "But I hope that you know that it's not a betrayal to his memory to find…to find happiness again."
Olivia mirrored his gesture, bringing her hand up to his face, and leaned forward to kiss him tenderly. She rested her forehead against his, her eyes closed, just concentrating on breathing. She let her hand fall to the nape of Seth's neck, and twirled her fingers in his hair.
Seth sighed and rolled his head to the side where her hand rested. He hoped she had heard him. He let his hand fall away from her face and stood, offering Olivia his hand. She looked up at him with eyes that were still glassy and swollen from crying, and smiled tiredly. She gave him her hand and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. He watched her closely, "Did you want to go back to the room, or…?" He let the invitation hang there, letting the decision be hers.
Olivia took a step closer to Seth, and reached up to push his hair back from his face. He caught her hand and held it close to him, letting her feel his heart beating. She looked into his eyes, and saw…hope? A future? She wasn't certain, but she knew she wanted to find out.
"Let's checkout that rooftop."
They shared an elevator with an older couple celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary in Chicago. George and Millie Saunders, from Elkhart, Indiana. They were absolutely adorable, and when Olivia mentioned it was an anniversary of sorts for them as well, Millie insisted on taking a photo of the two of them. "You will want a photo for the kids, trust me," she insisted with a wink. When the elevator opened at the top, they congratulated each other, and parted ways.
"Oh my god, Seth - look at this view!" Olivia whispered. He looked. The hotels lining the banks of the Chicago River were brightly lit, and the streetlights reflected onto the river, all the way to the sunset beyond the city limits. Olivia wandered a few steps ahead of Seth, then looked back at him. "What's the matter?"
The light from the sunset made it look like an aura had settled around Olivia, and the rooftop lighting cast a gentle glow on her - Seth was at a loss for words. He shook his head and held out his arms in surrender, "I think you have to be the most gorgeous woman I've ever met…"
Olivia ducked her head, flattered, "You're a smooth talker, Seth Rollins…" She looked across the patrons on the rooftop, "Hey where's Millie - I bet she'd love to take another photo of us against this backdrop."
Seth walked towards her, and took her hand, "Let's grab a drink first - I think we've earned it."
They had a couple of drinks at a table with a river view, and the incident at Geja's was quickly disappearing in their rear view mirror. The jazz trio was playing through their set and when a slower song began, Seth took Olivia by the hand and led her over to the small dance area. He slid one arm around her waist and took hold of her other hand while she slid her free hand up to the back of his neck. Their gaze met and for a few moments no one else existed, just the two of them holding each other close and swaying on the dance floor. Slowly, achingly, Seth dropped his head and captured her lips with his, tasting citrus and gin.
He lifted his head and again met her dark green eyes. Tell her…tell her now before you lose your nerve. He took a deep breath, "Olivia…I need to tell you something, and I don't know how you're going to take it…" She frowned slightly, and narrowed her eyes suspiciously, wondering where this conversation was going after the one they'd had earlier. Seth pushed forward, "I want you to know that I don't expect you to say anything at all, but …I just need you to know how I feel."
Olivia felt the blood rush out of her face, and she stopped swaying, suddenly aware of what Seth was trying to tell her. She felt Seth take both of her hands in his, and her heart lurched in her chest. She wanted to hear him say it, but the thought made her face go numb, and her hands turned to ice in his warm grasp. She remained silent, but took one deep breath before he continued on.
"Olivia, I love you." The rooftop blurred and he swore the temperature shot up ten degrees as he heard the words leave his mouth. "I think I have loved you since I saw you at the reunion, but this past week has made me realize that life happens quickly…and when you meet someone who fits in your life so perfectly -and makes it better just by being in it - you need to tell them how you feel about them." He looked down at their conjoined hands, and sighed, "But I also understand that you may not feel the same right now, and I want you to know that it's okay. I - I just wanted you to know…I love you." He could really get used to saying that…he looked at Olivia, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there at that moment.
At first Olivia's wide eyes wouldn't meet his, and she stared over his shoulder silently, her mouth slightly agape. Seth's heart sank when Olivia pulled her hands out of his grasp and she turned and half-ran, half-walked to the elevator. "Olivia-" he called after her, not sure if he should follow her or not. What the hell are you talking about? Go and get her…you're letting her run! He squelched the voices in his head, he had let himself get carried away thanks to a few drinks and the heat of the moment. And now he was watching the woman he loved running to an elevator. Well, he couldn't take it back - not that he wanted to, but he could give Olivia some time to…what? Process? Pack up and leave? He sighed, his shoulders slumping, and walked to the railing overlooking the river. He remembered the first night he had met Olivia - she had wanted to run then too, but she hadn't…and now here we are…what did I say to her that night to make her stay?
Listen to yourself, Olivia.
"Well she certainly did that tonight…" He stared into the river, unsure of what to do. He heard someone clear their throat behind him, and for a split second he thought it was Olivia coming back to him. He turned around, but instead of Olivia, Millie Saunders stood in front of him. He felt the now-familiar sensation of his heart sinking into the ground under his feet and sighed, "M-Millie? Can I help you?"
She smiled sympathetically and stood beside him, "I couldn't help but notice that Olivia left in a bit of a hurry, but here you are…everything okay?"
Seth half-smiled and shook his head, turning back to look out over the river, "I am going to say it's not…tonight I told Olivia that I loved her…and she froze. She's gone back to the room…at least I think she's gone back to the room." His head hung low over his folded hands, "I think I messed up, Millie."
Millie Saunders patted his arm, "I think she might just need some time, dear. She has a right to know how you feel - and from a third-party observation, I think the odds are pretty good that Olivia feels the same way. Not everyone is ready to say how they feel, even if they feel it too."
"But I told her it didn't matter if she couldn't say it…I couldn't help myself…and she ran."
"I don't think she heard much beyond you telling her you loved her. Go find her, sweetie." Millie guided Seth away from the railing, pointed him in the direction of the elevator, patting him on the cheek in farewell, "When you celebrate your fiftieth here…have a drink for me."
Seth's mind was going a million miles a minute in the elevator.
What if she's not back in the room?
What if she is?
"Ow! Shit…" He realized he was holding the handrail in a deathgrip, and shook out his hands. He paced nervously back and forth inside the car until the door opened to their floor. He took a deep breath and blew it out, "Well, let's do this…"
The walk to their hotel room gave Seth far too much time to overthink things. He was nervous about talking to Olivia before, now he understood her urge to run. Well, it's not like I can take it back. But we definitely need to talk… He arrived at their room and went inside, "Olivia? Are you here?" He heard the TV on in the living room, and swallowed nervously as he stepped into view.
Seth found Olivia lying on the couch, clutching a throw pillow to her chest. He kicked himself when he saw that she'd been crying again, but he made himself take another step into the living room. She sat up, dropping all the throw pillows onto the floor. They stood staring at each other until finally he said something.
"Hey there."
He saw her not quite hold back a smirk at hearing their familiar greeting, and felt his body relax minutely when she replied, "Hey there yourself."
"Can I - can I sit down?"
Olivia shifted over and Seth slowly made his way over to sit facing her. He didn't know how to start, but he knew the best way forward was to be honest. "Olivia, I didn't mean to-"
"Seth, stop." She tentatively reached for his hand, then gripped it firmly with hers, as if drawing strength from him. "Please don't apologize for what you said…if anything, I should be apologizing to you…I shouldn't have left like that. I didn't know what else to do."
Seth covered her hand with his, "Olivia, it doesn't matter to me that you left…I mean it does, but I understand why…I know you may not feel the same right now, and that's okay - honestly Olivia…I just want to be with you, and whatever it takes to do that, I'll do it." His shirt felt like it was slightly too small in the neck, and his heart wouldn't stop pounding.
"Seth…I ran because …because I think I do feel the same way. I just…I don't think I can say it right now. Every time I think about it, I just get overwhelmed with - ugh, god…with everything and I had already spent a good chunk of our evening crying all over you - I thought this one I needed to do on my own." She moved to sit so that they were face-to-face across from each other on the couch. "Seth, I have only ever been in love once…with Mark. When he died, when I lost Bean…I knew I'd never love anyone else."
Seth felt the blood rush from his face and felt a little light-headed, thinking this conversation had suddenly taken a wrong turn until Olivia went on, "I couldn't ever imagine me feeling that way again…and then I met you. And suddenly I have someone who has my back, who listens to me, who makes me start to feel like maybe life can start again…with someone new." She smiled at him with trembling lips, "You're the only other person I've felt this way about…but I don't think I'm ready to say those words just yet…" She sighed heavily, throwing her head back in frustration, "Does any of that make sense at all? Or does it just sound like the biggest load you've ever heard…? It made so much more sense in my head, but when I heard it out loud just now…I'm sorry Seth, I want to, but I just can't…I do care for you - deeply." She watched him for a reaction, any reaction.
He sat across from her, processing what she'd just told him. Holy shit, Millie was right… Seth was inwardly celebrating, but still not sure what the right next move was. Thankfully Olivia did. She leaned forward, touching his face and pulling him in for a kiss, soft and sweet and slow. He pushed forward, and Olivia leaned backwards on the couch until he was above her, one hand on either side of her head. He came up for air to check in, "Olivia are we okay? This is okay?"
Olivia nodded, reaching up to undo his tie, and slide his arms out of the suit jacket before returning to another kiss, this one more forceful, drawing him closer. She could feel his hard length pressing against the inside of her thigh, and she felt a coil of heat reach out from her belly. Her head tilted backwards as Seth trailed kisses down the side of her neck, making her shiver. She began to fumble with his belt buckle, "Why don't we deal with the pants now…don't want you to aggravate that elbow…" she purred. Her eyes were lidded with pleasure, and she couldn't stop writhing under him, enjoying the weight of him over top of her.
Once she had the buckle figured, Seth untangled himself and stood to quickly shuck his pants off and toss them aside. He reached a hand down to Olivia, who was temptingly sprawled along the couch, still in her dress, "Let's take this somewhere more comfortable, shall we?" Together they staggered along to the bedroom, Seth taking hold of the hem of Olivia's dress and lifting it over her head, revealing the strapless bra and panties she'd been talked into by the Victoria's Secret salesperson. He dropped the dress beside the bed, taking in Olivia clad in the emerald green lacy ensemble, "It's a real shame you won't be in those for very long…" he grinned devilishly at her, "That was a great deal - whatever it cost."
Olivia laughed, clearly pleased that Seth approved. She reached up and began to unbutton his shirt, taking great pains to run her hands along the chiseled planes of his chest, but leaving the shirt on. He started to take it off, but Olivia stopped him. "Leave it on…just for now," she whispered. She placed a hand on either of Seth's shoulders, "Catch!" Olivia jumped and caught Seth around the waist with her legs. He caught her in his arms, and took her mouth with his, twining their tongues together. Seth kept an arm tight around her midsection as he moved the two of them onto the bed, releasing Olivia in the middle. He kissed her again, and she felt his hand trail along the outside of her breast, on its way down to her hips and then past the edge of her underwear. She gasped, feeling a finger trace the outside of her cleft and begin to gently touch her clit. Seth opened his eyes, "Is this okay?"
Olivia's eyes popped, "This? This is incredible…" she panted before dropping her head back onto the bed, losing herself in the sensations Seth was creating. God it's been so long…
Seth brought his other hand to her breast, massaging it and rolling the nipple between his fingers, enjoying the moans of pleasure coming from Olivia. He lowered his mouth to her lace-clad breast, suckling it through the lace. Olivia's moans were breathy, "Oh god Mark, that feels so good…" As soon as she heard the words come out of her mouth, she froze, horrified at what she'd just said.
Seth sat up on the bed, and stared at Olivia, hoping he had misheard, but knowing he hadn't. He closed his eyes, and ran a hand through his hair. He felt Olivia move, pulling her legs under her, and reach for the bedcover to cover herself up with. "Seth, I'm ….-" He held up a hand, stopping any further attempt at excuse or explanation. He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears, and he thought he felt a prick of tears at the corner of his eyes.
He quickly got off the bed, and walked into the sitting room to grab his pants. He heard Olivia scramble off the bed, but she said nothing, standing with the kimono wrapped around her, her eyes already wet with tears. She watched him get dressed, "Where are you going?" Her voice sounded choked, broken with emotion. There really was no good way to apologize for calling out your dead husband's name during sex, Olivia didn't even try.
"I have to go. I have a room key." He heard his own voice, thick with tears, and he wiped a sleeve across his eyes.
When he met Olivia's eyes before he left, he almost stayed, but knew he had some feelings that were probably best worked out on his own for now. He wondered absently if the gym was still open. "Olivia, I'm coming back, I promise…I just…"
She pulled the ends of the kimono closer, "I know. Come back when you're ready." I'm so sorry…god I wish I could take it back…
Olivia heard the door click shut and she sank to the ground, hugging herself and wracked with guilt. One thought repeated through her head.
Please just bring him back…