Paralyzed

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A/N-thank you very much to everyone who kindly reviewed the last chapter.

Chapter Forty-Three-Breaking the Cycle

Following Ben in his dream state was exhausting. Rey felt like she was constantly trying to play catch up, that she was always one step behind from being able to reach him either physically or telepathically. After Starkiller he had jumped from one significant event in his life to another, usually the ones that caused him the most pain. The one place she had hoped to reach him was when he relived the memories of their Force bonds-the moment they touched hands, both buried deep within their loneliness, knowing they were the only ones who understood each other's pain-Rey believed she could see Ben looking at her through Kylo's eyes. He was so close. She desperately tried to push the boundaries, to pull Ben toward her, but Luke chose that moment to interrupt, collapsing the hut around them and breaking their tentative connection. Rey wanted to scream in frustration, but the scene had already shifted to Snoke's throne room and the precious moment was lost.

"Rey. I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy."

Rey stood in front of Ben, her tortured gaze flicking to his outstretched hand. Oh, how she wanted to rip that thick leather glove off his hand so they could touch skin on skin, just like on Ahch-to before Luke interrupted them. She tuned him out when he started rambling on about her parents and how she was 'nothing' but not to him. He was laying his emotions bare even as he tried to subtly manipulate her at the same time in a vain attempt to get his own way. Rey felt her mouth moving as she spouted the same responses she had given in the past. It was just another frustrating element to this journey that she was unable to break free from the same script as before. It was like they were acting in a well-rehearsed play. Soon she would raise her hand and attempt to pull her lightsaber back to her.

Rey was getting desperate, she felt like time was beginning to dissolve in on itself. It was trickling through her fingers so fast that she was sure she was losing her last chance to save Ben from the horrors of his own mind. He was locked in a cycle of self-flagellation. She longed for the same telepathic connection they had managed to sustain so briefly before she had chosen to follow him into his own personal hell to rescue him. Rey knew she needed to shake things up, to change the course of events because once the scene shifted from Snoke's throne room, she was sure it would move to Crait and she would lose her last chance to break the cycle before it started all over again and trapped Ben permanently in his own mind.

Perspiration broke out on Rey's brow as the mental strain began to take its toll. She was running on pure adrenaline now. Concentrating hard she tried to stop herself reaching for the saber.

Ben was watching her intently, his chin quivering slightly as he tried to contain his emotions. "Please." He urged, his voice cracking as he took another small step forward and motioned with his hand for her to take it.

The emotional emphasis he placed on that one word nearly broke her resolve just like it had the first time. Damn him! Rey felt her body betray her as she slowly lifted her hand in the direction of his. She noted the gleam of relief in his dark brown eyes as he extended his hand eagerly in anticipation of finding hers. Rey maintained eye contact with him, her own glimmering with moisture as she cried in her head for him to hear her, to connect with her. Ben was in there somewhere she could tell, lost underneath the mantle of Kylo Ren, powerless to reach her as she was him.

Rey wished they could stop moving forwards and just exist in that moment together. Not thinking. Not breathing. Just not apart. Her hand was almost level with his, she could feel the Force humming beneath her fingertips in readiness to call the lightsaber back to her. She fought against it, willing her mouth to open, to improvise and change the script. Rey felt her breathing intensify with the effort to part her lips, to speak, to say something, anything to stop this madness…

Then.

At last.

A breakthrough!

"Why don't you think you're enough?"

The fervent light died in Ben's eyes and his hand faltered, lowering slightly as he absorbed what she was saying.

"Do you really think you have to offer me the galaxy in order to entice me to accept your hand? To want to be with you?"

Uncertainty dominated his features as he withdrew his hand completely, his arm dropping back down to his side. This was new. This was different. He was considering her words. Relief drained through her. It travelled through every cell to reach the ground, ending in pure exhaustion.

"I don't want to rule the galaxy. I don't want power. All I want is you. I see the real you. I always have. Ben Solo will always be enough for me."

Her hazel eyes shone with compassion as she spoke. Her words were honest, truthful and full of more love for Ben Solo then he could ever hope to understand, because he really believed no one could ever love him for himself alone, for who could love a monster?

"I love you."

Breathy gasps reverberated in the air. Rey was crying. Salty tears flowed into her mouth as she bared her soul to him. She dropped her gaze to her shaking hands. She was so tired, so very tired of fighting.

"You love me?"

His tentative question, his voice cracking like splintered glass with so much doubt, broke her heart. He still wouldn't let himself believe it.

Rey smiled sadly through her tears as she raised her eyes back to his. "Yes." She said simply.

Kylo Ren shattered in front of her, revealing the remnants of Ben Solo, raw and exposed, underneath. "Rey, sweetheart." He called to her.

It was her Ben who spoke. She had found him. She had done it. Broken the cycle.

Rey didn't hesitate as she ran into his open arms.

Ben jerked awake. His head was hammering as if he had drunk a whole crate of Correllian whisky. He swore an oath under his breath as he tried to rise unsteadily to his feet.

"Woah there!" Poe loomed above him, his voice sounding loud and intrusive to Ben's ears.

"Where…?" Ben tried to get his mind to focus but the ghastly hammers continued to plague him as Dameron helped him to stand. He licked his lips to moisten them. His throat felt dry and parched. "Where's Rey?" He asked groggily.

"We'll be rendezvousing with her ship in another few hours. Don't worry." Poe's concerned face finally swam into view as he offered Ben a drink. "Take this." He said, passing him a flask of warm water.

Still heavily disorientated, Ben had trouble unscrewing the cap. He was all fingers and thumbs. Poe ended up doing it for him. He muttered his thanks and lifted the flask to his lips, drinking the water greedily. He ended up draining the whole flask. He passed the empty vessel back to Poe, feeling more revived now he had quenched his thirst.

"How long was I out for?" He questioned hoarsely.

"A day and half." Poe revealed with a faint smile. "You really had me worried for a while there, Solo. I don't like the feeling. Don't do it again."

"I don't plan on it." Ben mumbled as he rubbed his aching temples. "Did you say Rey was on a ship?" He double checked.

"Yes." Poe hesitated a beat, worried how Ben was going to react when he learned exactly what ship she was travelling on. He just hoped Solo wasn't in the mood to kill the messenger. "She's on the Night Buzzard."

As Poe expected, Ben lost it. He reached out and grabbed the lapels of Poe's shirt, dragging him forward, his dark brown eyes blazing. "The Knights have taken her prisoner? How in the hell did that happen? Where were the damned Resistance?" He demanded.

Poe matched his angry glare as he fought his way out of Ben's stranglehold on his shirt. "Pull yourself together, Solo. You manhandle me like that again and you'll find a blaster in her your face."

The fire died in Ben's eyes a little as he regarded Dameron guiltily. He hadn't meant to lose control, but still his apology stuck in his throat. He reached out to Rey through the Force, but he got no reaction from her, meaning she was either shutting him out deliberately or sleeping. He hoped it was just the latter.

"What happened, Dameron? Please, I need to know." He asked gruffly.

Poe rolled his shoulders to relieve the tension in his muscles before answering. He found it difficult to meet Ben's eyes as he reluctantly revealed what had driven Rey away from Echo base and the Resistance to take sanctuary on the Knight of Ren's ship.

"They found out she was a Palpatine, Solo." Poe said with a heavy sigh. "They couldn't accept it and drove her away."

A/N-thanks for reading. Please review if you have the time.