Chapter 6: Something Sweet

Another nightmare constricts her mind, taunting and daunting her in her sleep, unable to escape its grasp until the sound of morning echoes through her metal door. Gailien wakes up in a mess: her bedsheets almost hanging off her bed with patches of blood soaking through different spots.

"Argh," she groans, placing a hand on her chest. The night blouse is damp with blood, the bandage having already soaked through and no doubt her back is the same. Her nightmare was the same as usual; Kili marching towards her with flames in his eyes, swinging his sword about through the air.

Nightmares have never been something she has suffered from, not even when her brother died so she has no idea how to cope or why they have decided to come now. Though her body revolts at the idea, she knows that Kili was right yesterday – that she should seek him out instead of hiding and see that is just her mind playing her for a fool. And she will do so - after she sees Oin.

She doesn't bother changing, her 'nightclothes' just normal attire that she has deemed comfortable enough to wear to sleep and there is no point staining another. Sauntering to the door, her fingers wrap around the handle but loud voices outside pause her movements.

It is a loud conversation between Kili and Fili, each seeming to be on either side of her door, yelling down the hallway to each other. To everybody else's ears, it sounds trivial, something about stealing the other's breakfast or what have you but all Gailien can hear is the sound of Kili's voice as loud as it was in her dream.

It seems to come closer to her door, like he's marching towards it and Gailien stumbles back, tripping over her own feet as her mind plays tricks on her. She whimpers, landing on her tailbone and she scampers backwards on her hands and heels away from the door.

Then his loud voice morphs into screams, but not just his own. Many voices screaming together: men, women, children. Like the night in Lake-town when the dragon destroyed their lives.

She doesn't stop moving backwards until her back collides with the small dresser at the foot of her bed.

"Oi," Kili hisses to his brother. "You're going to wake her up. Just go get me another bowl of food. May as well bring her one while you're at it."

"And how am I supposed to carry it?!" Fili calls back down the hall.

Kili shrugs his shoulders, throwing his hands up. "Figure-" his statement is cut off by the sound of glass smashing on the stone ground to his left. "Now you've done it," he growls.

"Me?" Fili exclaims. "You're the one standing right outside her door!"

Kili rolls his eyes, walking to the side and pushes Gailien's door open with his shoulder.

Gailien's eyes are clenched shut, her booted feet littered with small shards of glass but the vase itself fell next to her. She feels helpless, pathetic even. She is nearly five hundred years old and is cowering in her room from a young Dwarf because his voice is scaring her.

But it isn't just his voice. Reliving the desolation of Lake-town by Smaug is terrifying. She didn't have the time to really comprehend it before, but now with their year-long goal achieved, she has all the time on Middle Earth it seems, to be able to think about it.

A soft hand brushes her fallen hair away from her face and Gailien can't help but open her eyes to see who the tender touch belongs to. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

"You need to stop saying that," Kili muses, sitting down next to her. "Nightmare?"

Gailien nods, adding, "Yeah. I was alright – I was going to talk to you like you told me but then I heard the yelling and it sent me back to Lake-town." She shakes her head, trying to physically shake the memory and thoughts out of her head. "I'm tough," she declares, straightening her back.

"Tough and bleeding," he drawls, clambering back to his feet. He pulls her up with both his hands, leading her out of the room. "And you can blame Fili for the yelling. He kept walking away as I was trying to talk to him. Have you told Thorin about the nightmares?"

"No," she admits. "It's only been happening less than a week. I'm sure he's got enough on his mind as it is. Besides, I think I'm getting better at handling them."

"I just found you on the floor with a broken vase," Kili states blankly. "I'm not sure that really equals handling them well."

"Yes," she reluctantly agrees. "But I'm talking to you, aren't I? I didn't let it get to me."

"Alright tough-stuff," he teases as they walk down the corridor towards Oin's chambers. "But you should tell Thorin. Maybe talking to him will help as well."

"I will," she says, fully intending to follow his advice. As they round a corner, she spots Fili walking slowly the same way they are, staff in hand. She nudges Kili and they stop. She bends down, picking up one of the smallest and lightest pebbles she can find. It weighs almost nothing in her hands. Pulling her arm back, she throws it forward softly but directly.

The stone bounces off the back of Fili's head. He curses out loud, a hand raising to the back of his skull as he turns on the spot. "That was for waking me up," Gailien calls down to him with a small smirk. Fili's glare drops into one of exhaustion, his hand dropping as well.

"Sorry," he dismisses half-heatedly. "Blame Kili, he didn't follow me when he started talking." Gailien reaches up to the younger brother's head, flicking him in the back of it. Fili smiles in victory, turning around and continuing on his way to find more breakfast.

"Ow," Kili grumbles, holding his head as his brother did. "That was mean."

"Next time don't yell outside my room."

Kili mumbles something incoherent as they continue on to Oin's chambers. The older Dwarf is wide awake to greet them, guiding Gailien over to his working space. Her blouse is pulled off the top of her shoulder, but she remains modest enough that Kili stays with her. He rests his head on his palms, elbows balancing them on a desk that he sits at, watching Oin work.

Gailien's nose crinkles as Oin cleans the front wound, short bursts of pain erupting each time he applies the woven fabric. Her eyes open up again as Oin takes a moment to wash the cloth in the water bowl to her side and she catches Kili's eye who is behind Oin.

Kili sucks his cheeks in, crossing his eyes as he looks at his nose. Gailien giggles, shaking her head and Kili grins to himself. As Oin returns to her wound, Gailien watches Kili over Oin's shoulder as he makes another face, this time, pulling the skin above his eyes tight so only the whites of his eye are visible. Gailien laughs louder but tries to hide it, ducking her face.

Kili waits until she looks back up, then just his jaw forward to create a large underbite, his bottom teeth biting his top lip. Gailien snorts, saying "you look like a true idiot, Kee."

"All done," Oin declares, standing back up straight. Gailien's mouth rounds in surprise, looking at her now cleanly bandage chest and back then back up to Kili who looks at her with a sly smile.

Silently she slides off the medical cot, following Kili as he leads them back out into the hallway. She even forgets to say thank you to Oin. As the door closes, she sighs loudly, pulling on Kili's arm to bring him to a stop. "Kee," she says slowly. "You are amazing, you know that?"

Kili shrugs, glancing down at his boots. "I try," he replies sheepishly. Gailien laughs, nudging his shoulder with her own as they continue walking. "Are you going to stay in Erebor now?"

Gailien slowly nods, a truly content smile drawing on her lips. "I think I will."

Kili cheers, throwing his clenched hands in the air in celebration as Gailien laughs. He bends down, wrapping his arms around her legs and heaves her into the air. A small shriek escapes her as she is spun around.

"Kili!" Oin exclaims, exiting his chambers. "Put her down this instant!"

The young Dwarf's eyes widen, and he quickly puts her back on her own feet. His lips are glued shut, the only thing stopping laughter from coming out as Oin glares at the prince. Oin gives Kili a stern finger of warning before turning and walking the other way.

As soon as he is out of earshot, Gailien giggles loudly, covering her mouth. Kili bites his lip but fails to hold the laughter in as he rests an arm around her shoulders instead. "You've been told," Gailien remarks humorously.

"You're barely delicate," Kili snorts, matching her humour. "A little sensitive maybe, but not delicate."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," she says slowly, narrowing her eyes. "Do you know where Thorin is? Or when he would be free to talk to?"

"I think he's with Dain but all you have to say is that you want to speak with him, and he'll leave whatever he's doing."

"That's fine, I'll wait for him to finish."

"Don't you want to know the power you hold over him?" Kili taunts. "I can do it for you if you're nervous around the other Dwarves."

"It's fine," she dismisses. "I have nothing else to do today so there is no rush. But I am starving, so food would be great."

"Me too. Fili stole my breakfast."

Xx

By the end of the day, Gailien feels quite content with her decision to finally stay in Erebor. She even walks around the halls, finding other members of the company. She shares her condolences with Bombur and tries to with Bifur but for the most part, the reunion is filled with joy. She talks with Dwalin during his break from work, filling him in on her decision and how she has been handling the dreams better.

They will get better, and maybe one day when she wakes in the same bed as Thorin she will know from the moment that her eyes open that everything is ok. It has taken her a week to right herself – and that is ok. Healing takes time, as Oin always says.

Today is the most she has moved around since waking up, and though it does hurt, she is well on her way to healing. Surprisingly, the Dwarves of Dain's realm barely even give her a second glance. Perhaps Thorin said something, or they saw her in battle. Or maybe it is the bead in her hair.

Whatever it is, it alleviates one of the main worries she had about being in Erebor. She only has to worry when the Dwarves from the Blue Mountains arrive – the rest of the Durin's line.

She had been speaking with Bilbo when Dwalin found her, informing her that Thorin was in his chambers. So that is where she now heads, a small skip in her step.

Gailien knocks softly on the door, opening it slowly. Thorin is in there as Dwalin promised, stripped of his royal garnets, leaving him with only his tunic and trousers. He turns his head towards the door as she enters quietly, a large smile growing on his lips. "Amrâlimê, I'm sorry that I haven't seen you all day." He opens his arms as Gailien walks into them, resting her head under his chin. "What have you been doing?"

"Talking with Bilbo for the last couple of hours," she sighs, closing her eyes. "Erebor is so large that I think I spend most of my day walking through it just to find people."

"Then you must be tired," he hums. "Come sit over here." Thorin leads her to a small hearth that is already well lit, a cushioned seat in front of it with a blanket thrown over half. They both sit down, Thorin resting his right foot forward. Gailien grasps the blanket, pulling it over the both of them.

"I don't mean to worry you," she begins, settling under his arm. "But I know it's better to talk about these things."

Thorin frowns, delicately tracing a finger around the curve of her temple. "What is troubling you?"

"Dreams," she answers honestly. "Ever since I woke up. They're awful. Sometimes it's the people of Lake-town and Smaug and I'm just standing there, watching their home burn. Other times it's Kili."

"Kili?"

Gailien nods slowly, staring into the fire, trying to focus on the finger that is drawing shapes onto her cheek. "I made a promise to him back at Ravenhill, that I would keep Tauriel safe. And I didn't. It haunts me that I've taken someone important away from him. I know she is an Elf, but he adored her and…"

"I would know better than anyone that race does not limit love," he says softly, placing a light kiss on her temple. "But you should not let what happened out of your control, take control of you. Kili may be hurt by it, but he did not love her. It was lust that had not yet been able to form."

"Your nephew is one of the most remarkable people I've ever had the honour to meet," she says. "Both of them are."

"They are definitely remarkable," Thorin agrees with a small laugh that comes from deep within his chest. "But they are not like that with everybody. You have taken a special place with them."

"And they have with me. But I've also had dreams…about you," she adds. Thorin tenses, leaning back slightly to look down at her face. She feels awful for being the one to bring up a time that she knows he would much rather forget, but she promised herself to be truthful. "You are sick again, but you're not at the same time. It scares me and I forget what is real sometimes."

"And…what do I do in these dreams?" he asks slowly, heart beating against his chest.

Gailien ducks her head, not wanting to answer truthfully. "Like the ones with Kili, you turn on me. You strike me and cast me out. And when I wake up, my heart knows that it isn't real, but it is like my mind is sick. Like it changes reality around me."

Thorin's arms suddenly move, shifting from around her neck to her waist and he pulls her onto his lap as he leans back against the seating. Her left front presses against him, keeping both the right side of her chest and back out of pressure. He guides her head under his grip, resting his cheek on its top, his other hand settling on her hip, rubbing gently over the bone. "This is real," he whispers. "This moment, what you feel, what you hear. You do whatever you need to do to help yourself."

Gailien kisses his neck, running her hand up the other side and into his hair but it doesn't stop there. Tilting her head up, she kisses his face and pulls at his braids. Her hands run down his chest then back up to his shoulders, following along his arms around her. Thorin begins to do the same, running his hands along her back, over her hips and thighs and down to her knees before they go back up along her front.

Gailien uses the back of the chair to lift herself, bringing her leg to rest on his other side before sitting back in his lap, attaching her lips to his. "I love you," she whispers between them.

"And you have mine," he gasps out, breathing heavily. His eyes close, leaning his head back against the back of the seat as her arms wind around his neck, her burrowed head focusing on one spot. Changing leadership, Thorin leans back up straight, planting his mouth on the edge of her blouse, nibbling. "You have no idea what you do to me," he grumbles, sloppily kissing up her neck, gripping her hips hard.

"I would love to know," she replies slightly absent-minded, too focused on other things besides speaking. Her arms around his neck tighten, pulling herself as close as she can to him, assisted by his grip on her hips which pulls them forward and down amorously.

"If you do not intend on marrying me tonight, I suggest we stop now."

Xx

Gailien saunters back across the hall, tired but happy and looking forward to her bed. But what she doesn't expect to hear is voices already inside her chambers. Frowning, she opens the door and is welcomed by two young Dwarfs fussing around near her bed.

"Hello?" she calls out, perplexed. Kili and Fili (who is sitting on the edge of her bed, resting his leg) look up. On the floor near the side of her bed is two sleeping rolls that they used on the quest, unrolled but with pillows from their rooms lying messily at the top. "What are you both doing?"

"Well," Kili chirps, walking forward. "We were thinking that maybe it would be nice to wake up to some company, so you're not alone if you have a nightmare." He shrugs, looking over his shoulder at his brother. "We thought it might help, you know, realise that it was just a dream."

Gailien stands there silently, causing Fili and Kili to share a slightly worried, slightly perplexed glance at each other. Then a soft wail sounds through the room as Gailien drops her face into her cupped hands.

Kili jolts forward, a little shocked and Fili stands back up, resting on one foot. Her shoulders quake as the young Dwarf wraps an arm around her shoulder. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

Gailien shakes her head, dropping her hands from her face to wrap under his arms instead. "I hate you both," she says through both laughter and choking. "I'm crying again. Do you know how many times I've cried just this past month?" She drops her arms from Kili, striding forward and bringing Fili into the same embrace. "I'm going to be known as the woman who just bursts into tears every day."

"Happy tears, I hope," Kili chirps coming back to her side. Gailien nods, wiping the tears away as she grins, knowing her cheeks are going to hurt soon.

Fili sits back down on the bed the turns around. From behind him, he brings out a silver platter that has a covered bowl and goblet. "We brought you dinner as well."

"No," Gailien wails as she falls back into a fit of tears, but it is filled with laughter as well. She hastily wipes them away. "Stop doing things for me, my emotions cannot handle it."

"Women," Kili scoffs, shaking his head with a large smirk. Gailien kicks out at his shin but he jumps out of the way.