Author's note:
Good evening. Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to . The author is backstage and will be ready to go in just a few minutes. Before the update begins, he would like to make just a few announcements:
First, thank you to everyone who has favourited/followed/reviewed this story so far. He also wishes to extend a warm welcome to those of you who have just joined the party. The continued support he receives from his readership is both humbling and encourages him to keep on writing.
Second, he has been promising something big for weeks now and so he hopes this second 30K+ word update has been worth the wait. This one really has taken a lot out of him. To the point that he very nearly hit writer's block last Thursday and had to spend two days playing Demon's Souls before he was able to come back to the laptop.
For this update, the author has, in the spirit of his prog-rock obsession, picked a singular concept for his five chapter titles. For this first one, he has chosen the line, If you let me, I will catch fire, from the Paramore song, Part II; from their self-titled fourth album. He thought it a good fit for this chapters position as the starting point for the events that will follow.
Well, I think the author's about ready to go now... no, no, not quite yet. One thing I would like to point out, upon conclusion of the update... *cue heavy music and the start of the update.* Enjoy.
##
Chapter Thirty-one: If you let me, I will catch fire
It had been two weeks. Three-hundred-and-thirty-six hours. Twenty-thousand-one-hundred-and-sixty minutes… Kim had broken it down into seconds too and it came in at well over one million. The point was, she had been cooped up inside her parents' house for two weeks. Except when she had been taken out for a walk. Yes, taken out for a walk. Once her infection had cleared up, her mom had decided that some fresh air would do her good and so invited her to come out on a walk with her. Naturally, after having been stuck indoors for five days straight, Kim had leapt at the chance. Of course, once outside and away from the house, she had bolted, only for the Tweebs Alcatraz2000 to send a crippling electric shock through her. Cheeks burning bright red at the indignity of it all, she had been forced to endure her mom chuckling at her and then acquiesce to the light suggestion that they walk together and then go back to the house. The woman had then proceeded to walk her every day like she was the new family pet. She might as well have put a collar and leash on her with a little tag that read, 'Kimmie'. Needless to say, this had only been akin to adding petrol atop the fires of anger that had been raging inside her since her defeat at the hands of Shego.
Shego. Every single day the green-skinned woman had filled Kim's thoughts, the last fight between them playing out over and over again, until the point that she had started punching at her old bedroom wall in anger at the woman. Her dad had thus, against her mom's wishes, been forced to hang up an old punching bag he'd found in the garage, in order to safeguard the structural integrity of the room. Day after day her rage had intensified and the poor bag taken increasingly harsher poundings. But worse still had been the constant replay of the moments before her rival had set Matt's jumper on fire. The lack of spark, of magic, had played constantly on her mind and brought about a reminder of the feelings of awkwardness… of wrongness, with regards to how it had all felt. She had blamed this on Shego too. This had all been the villainess' doing. The raven-haired woman having latched onto Kim's desire to fight her more frequently and then used that knowledge to mess with her head and to get her to question her sexuality. She was straight goddammit! Only there had persisted that little voice that constantly asked, "but what if you're not?"
Her anger had quickly started to spill beyond the confines of her mind. She had yelled at her father when he had simply mentioned that one of his colleague's daughters had been accepted into Harvard; having taken it as yet another attempt on his part to get her to quit her hero work and go to college like a normal 'daddy's girl'. She'd argued with her mother every time the woman had tried to check her over and point-blank refused to talk to her about anything, including the holes in her bedroom walls, that did not involve her getting to go home; which had been everything. And as for the Tweebs, virtually every time she had seen them, she had shouted at them for whatever they had been doing because it had irked her in some way. In the end, she had spent the bulk of her time holed up in her old bedroom, her mind tormented by memories of her humiliation at the hands of her rival and of repeated fights between Shego and the Barkin-dragon; each ending with the green-skinned woman's battered and bloodied body getting shoved back into the chest. It may have meant everything or absolutely nothing, but Kim would swear that the Barkin-dragon's box looked far more beat up with each subsequent encounter. All in all, she had never felt angrier or more vengeful in her life come Sunday night; two weeks after her defeat. Her mom, or should that be jailor, had finally, after having scrutinised every last pixel of her latest x-rays, said the words she had started to think would never come; she could go home tomorrow.
Kim had awoken at five-thirty am and fuelled by anger and a lust for vengeance, been raring to go. Still wearing the Alcatraz2000, she had been forced to work out indoors, but nevertheless put in a solid two-hours before anyone else had even woken up. Virtually barging past her father and both Tweebs, she had not so much claimed as forcibly taken first dibs on the shower. Now fully washed and dressed, Kim entered the kitchen and was surprised to see her mom already there; plating up breakfast for two.
"Morning, Kimmie," her mother said, as though she was completely oblivious to her daughter's mood and refusal to talk to her over the past two weeks.
"Morning," Kim grunted irritably. While she wanted to leave the Possible house asap, her stomach told her that it would mutiny if she did so without eating the delicious pancakes with bacon and scrambled eggs her nose could smell. Hence, she went to take a seat at the table, instead of marching up to her mother and demanding she be released.
"Why don't we go sit and eat in the living room?" her mom said, holding out a tray containing the aforementioned meal, plus a mug of coffee and a glass of fresh orange juice.
Kim knew it was not a question and grudgingly took the tray. This can't be good. If she wants to eat away from dad and the Tweebs it probably means she's intending to sit and give me a lecture. I so don't have the time for this shit, but until she takes this damn thing off my wrist, I don't exactly have a choice. She walked through to the living room, sat down and barely waited for her mom to do the same before attacking her food.
After a few minutes of silence, her mom finally said, "Kimmie, before you leave this morning, I think we need to talk."
"Why?" Kim replied after swallowing a mouthful of pancake. "You got what you wanted. You've kept me here for two whole weeks and now I'm fully healed."
"If you think this was all about keeping you hear, then you've missed the point entirely," her mom replied as she sipped her coffee. "And while I'm satisfied that you're physically fit, I'm concerned about your mental health. I find all this anger you're carrying to be deeply concerning."
"Geez, I wonder why I've been angry?" Kim asked sarcastically. "Maybe it's because my own mother has kept me under lockdown for two whole weeks." In an unintentional demonstration, her fork thunked heavily against her plate as she skewered a piece of bacon.
"Kimmie, I know fine well that your current state of mind is not just about you having to stay here for the last two weeks. Something else is clearly bothering you and I was hoping you would talk to me about it."
She shot the woman a look that clearly said, "not a chance," before draining the contents of her orange juice.
However, her mom had never been one to give up easily. "Kimmie, please," she said, her face threatening to break out into the infamous puppy-dog-pout, "you need to talk to someone and since you haven't used the past two weeks to reconnect with your friends…"
"How the hell would you know what I've been doing while you've been at work?" she spat. However, her brain quickly came up with an answer that she did not like one bit. "Who have you been talking to behind my back this time? Monique? Wade?" At the thought of her tech guru, her mind immediately leapt to the worst-case scenario, "have you had Wade monitor who I've been calling while I've been here?"
Her mother sighed and perhaps offended by the accusation, replied flatly, "no, Kimberly Ann. I have neither spoken to Monique nor had Wade spy on you. I respect your right to privacy."
"But not my right to make my own decisions!" she retorted hotly.
Her mom chose to ignore that remark and continued with her initial train of thought, "I know you don't think so, but I know my daughter, Kimmie. When your mind starts to fixate on something, it's all you think about. You obsess over it." Kim's jaw almost hit the floor when her mom then cut straight to crux of everything that had occupied every space inside her mind for the past two weeks, "I'd like you to tell me what's happened between you and Shego to make you this angry."
Before she could stop herself, the words, "how did you…" escaped from her mouth.
Her mom gave her a light smile, "like I said, I know my daughter. So, please, talk to me, Kim."
Whether it was her anger at Shego boiling over again, a need to vent or a desire to put the subject to bed so she could leave, Kim did not know, regardless, she found herself yelling, "she saved me from Drakken's death-ray and ruined my first kiss since Ron. Then, when we were fighting, she pulled a kick that should have broken the rest of my ribs, pinned me on the ground and then fucked off!" She clapped a hand over her mouth the instant she realised what she'd said. While she had missed out the worst parts of the story, she felt infuriated with herself for having let those particular details slip. Damn my loose tongue! I bet she starts to psychoanalyse me now.
Her mom took her time and slowly sipped her coffee, before once again catching Kim off-guard, "are you sure that's everything?"
While subtle, she could tell from her mom's tone that the woman knew something, or at least thought she did. Shit! What on earth does she think she knows? And how… Aww crap! I was whacked out on so much painkillers during my first few days here, that she could have heard me say anything. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! What the fuck do I do know? There was only one solution, an outright lie. "Yes," Kim said firmly.
Her mom studied her intently over the rim of her coffee cup and Kim knew that the woman did not believe her. "Kimmie, the fact you are angry because Shego didn't leave you writhing in agony… or worse, is bad enough. But if there is something else going on… something that is causing you to feel like this, please tell me. You know I won't judge you."
Aside from the fact, Kim found that last comment to be completely oxymoronic, given what her mom had said two seconds prior, she did not like the implications of it. Fuck! Did I say something about trying to be Shego's friend or about how she manipulated me into questioning my sexuality while I was all Lucy in the sky? Unfortunately, since her mom did not seem willing to show her hand, she had no way of probing for details without consolidating the woman's suspicions. Which left her only one option, "there is nothing else going on. I'm pissed off because Shego ruined my night out and because you've been keeping me here for the past two weeks." She sat her finished tray down on the coffee table. "Now, take this infernal thing off my wrist so I can leave."
The expression on her mom's face clearly said she was in two minds about whether or not to let her go. So, Kim shot her a dark glare to emphasise that she would not take no for an answer this time.
"Kim, what do you intend to do when you leave here?" her mom questioned cautiously.
"What do you think? I'm going to go home and go back to work." It was not entirely a lie. Shego would no doubt be up to no-good somewhere and so by taking her down, she'd be putting a stop to something villainous. However, she did not care one iota about what that might be. This mission was entirely personal.
"Will that involve hunting down Shego because you want to take revenge on her?"
"No," she lied, not caring whether or not her mom actually believed her.
"Kim, please think very carefully before you do something rash," her mom warned, her expression one of concern and both it and her tone telling Kim that the woman had not believed her. "Vengeance can be a slippery slope and, in the end, you might find that it doesn't satisfy or help you."
Great, now she's lecturing me like I'm on the cusp of becoming a villain or some other crap like that. "I'll be fine, Mom," she said firmly, electing to simply ignore her mother's bullshit. Kim then thrust out her right wrist. "Now, take this stupid thing off of me, so I get out of here."
"Ok, Kimmie," her mom sighed and she withdrew a small remote from her pocket. "But, please promise me you'll be careful and don't forget you promised that you would let me check you over the next time you're home." Her mother then pressed a button.
There was a beep from the Alcatraz2000 before it expanded and the hidden clasp popped open. It fell from Kim's wrist and landed on the floor with a light clatter. She reached out with her left hand and rubbed the area which it had encircled. Her gaze then stared down at the Tweebs invention and she raised her foot, but before she could bring her it down on top of it, her mom scooped it up off the floor and she received a look that told her the woman intended to keep it in case she needed to use it again. Yeah, like I'll be letting that happen. And she can forget about me letting her check me over next time I'm home. Kim felt absolutely no remorse over already making the decision to break that particular promise. Her mother had betrayed her trust the moment she locked the Alcatraz2000 on her wrist.
"I'll be fine, Mom," she said, a hard expression on her face. "Contrary to what people seem to think, I can take care of myself." She then headed for the door that led to the hall. Upon reaching it, Kim turned her head, "I guess I'll see you around."
The sound of her mom getting up off the sofa reached her ears, before the woman said, "Kim, wait."
Even though her brain was set on leaving, something stopped her in her tracks and she properly turned around, only to be enveloped in a hug. "…Mom…"
"I am sorry, Kimmie," her mother said sincerely as she tightened her grip. "But I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you. And after the scare you gave me two weeks ago, I had to do something to get you to stop and allow yourself the chance to heal. I hope you understand and can forgive me." The woman then released her from the hug.
"Sorry, Mom, but you crossed a line this time," Kim spat, feeling her anger spike at the woman for again suggesting that she didn't know how to look after herself. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got villains to take down." With that, Kim turned and stormed out of the Possible house. However, she did not fail to notice the look of resigned acceptance on her mom's face and beneath all her anger, a small part of her still understood that her mother had genuinely just been trying to help her.
##
"Steady, steady," Dr Drakken ordered but with a dollop of control and caution normally foreign to him.
"Lower it down on my side," Shego called out to the henchman in charge of the winch on her side. The man did as ordered. "Ok, we're good, hold it steady," she then added, her voice too holding an air of seriousness that normally was only reserved for non-work-related matters. "How is it on your end, Dr D?"
"Almost there, Shego," Drakken replied. "Just keep it steady."
This was a delicate operation and perhaps the most important one they had conducted thus far inside the recently constructed volcano lair; located inside Mount St Helens. If things went south here, everything would be for naught.
"How are we looking from the front, Ru-Ru?" she asked, risking a glance over at the naked-mole-shark.
Ru-Ru, kitted out in a miniature hard hat and hi-vis vest, held up his tiny paws and formed a box with his claws, much like that a photographer would use to line up a shot. "Uh-hu, uh-hu," he said with a nod of his head, "level."
"Ok, gently men, guide it backwards," Drakken commanded. The crane lurched slightly, to which the mad scientist exclaimed, "I said gently!"
"Leave this to me, Dr D," Shego said and raised her voice, "if any of you screw this up, Ru-Ru has permission to deal with you."
She smiled when a collective gulp sounded from the henchmen and the crane immediately steadied. It had transpired that the naked-mole-shark was a natural at eliciting high standards of work and obedience from the hired help. Even Drakken had started to appreciate the particular skill-set he brought to the operation. So long as it was not being used upon him. However, at least once per day, Ru-Ru still leapt out at him from a new and inventive location each time, just to keep him on his toes.
"Ok, we're flush on this side, Dr D."
"Everything is in alignment on my side too. Lower it onto the bracket."
Smoothly this time, the henchmen moved the crane and without so much of a peep, the two halves of the bracket slid together. When the cables supporting the weight became slack, the henchmen bustled forwards and quickly detached them. Simultaneously, Shego and Dr Drakken climbed down from the ladders upon which they had been perched and moved to stand beside Ru-Ru. The henchmen quickly cleared away the equipment.
"It's a thing of beauty, isn't it, Shego," the mad scientist said with glee.
"For once I agree with you, Dr D." A smile formed on her lips, "I call first dibs."
"Most certainly not, Shego," Drakken said in outrage.
They both darted towards the sofa, but naturally, she was faster. Making a grab for the remote, she suddenly felt a tug on her leg and fell face-first to the floor.
"Ha, ha, not this time, Shego," the mad scientist said triumphantly as he leapt over her. "The Fearless Ferret it i…ARGH!"
She could only watch as the remote for the new one-hundred-and-fifty-inch TV flew out of his hand and into the air. The source of his scream quickly became apparent as Ru-Ru hopped onto Drakken's head, via his backside, caught the remote and landed on the centre of the sofa.
"Ha, serves you right for cheating, Dr D," Shego said as she stood up. "Kung-Fu Kombat it is. Thanks, Ru-Ru."
However, the smile was quickly wiped from her face when the naked-mole-shark shook his head, "ut-uh, cheese." He then turned the TV on.
Shego turned at the same time as Dr Drakken to stare at the screen and the program which Ru-Ru had put on; World of Cheese. "What!" they said in unison, both turning to glare at the naked-mole-shark, who had sat down on the centre of the sofa.
They received a smile showing off all of Ru-Ru's razor-sharp shark teeth, as he said, "losers."
In indignation, both Shego and Drakken sat on opposite sides of the sofa to watch the winner's choice of program as they ate breakfast. The only consolation being that they had got the TV mounted and aligned perfectly.
##
Body running on a Molotov cocktail of anger and adrenaline, Kim sprinted up the stairs to the top floor of her apartment building and practically burst through her front door as she made a b-line straight for her workroom. If she'd paused for even a moment's thought, she would have realised that she'd never been so glad to see the place in her life. Snatching her Kimmunicator from her desk, she hit the button that gave her a direct line to Wade, while crossing the room to her mission wardrobe.
"Morning, Kim," the computer geek replied, slightly sheepishly as his face appeared on the screen, "it's nice to see you finally got out."
She glared at him, not forgetting what had happened when she had called him using her parents' house phone during the first week of her incarceration. After discovering that the Tweebs could not free her from the Alcatraz2000 and that her Mom would not, she'd called her gear head in the hopes that he would be able to do something and she had been right. Wade could have hacked the Tweebs computer system (they were good, he was better) and deactivated the house security, allowing her to simply walk out of the front door. However, sounding like he was reading off a card, he had said, "Kim, I am unable to assist you in leaving your parents' home under pain of having the left- hemisphere of my brain removed and placed inside a monkey." Completely infuriated that her mom had gotten to Wade, she'd then asked if he could at least make or find some sort of mad-science device that would heal her injuries, only to have him read from a second card saying, "Kim, I am unable to assist you in fast-tracking your healing process under pain of having the right-hemisphere of my brain removed and placed inside a gorilla."
"No thanks to you," Kim replied bitterly, wrenching open the doors to the wardrobe.
"Hey, I'm sorry, Kim, but your mom was insistent and I like both hemispheres of my brain where they are."
"Save it, Wade. You owe me for siding with her and now you're going to pay up," she cut in, pulling out the red variant of her standard mission gear, the colour scheme fitting her mood.
The gear head opened his mouth to argue, probably about how anything she wanted would cost her, but quickly stopped in his tracks when she shot him a death glare. "Sure thing, Kim," he then said as a sweat drop ran down the side of his face, "what do you need?"
"Shego," she spat, "where is she?" Kicking off her trainers, she sat the Kimmunicator down on the dresser; facing away from her and then slipped off her jeans.
"I don't know," the boy replied, "there have been no confirmed sightings of either her or Drakken since they took over that communications centre."
She roughly shoved her legs inside the black pants with a red stripe running down each leg. "I don't care about Drakken, just give me whatever rumoured sightings there might have been of Shego and I'll work from there."
"Ok…" Wade said nervously, clearly sensing that something was up. He furiously tapped at his keyboard for a few moments as she switched t-shirts. "Hmmm, there's not much to go on… are you sure you should be purposefully seeking her out, I mean she did just…"
"I know what she did, Wade," Kim growled and had to resist the urge to hit something, "I was there and spent two weeks stuck at my mom's because of her. Just get me some intel." She sat down to pull on her boots.
"Ok, the best I've got is that there has been a string of tech robberies over the past week and a half. You could start by checking those out. I'll send you the list."
"Certainly sounds like it could be her handiwork. Drakken's been priced out of the market when it comes to paying sticker price for components for a while now. I suppose it'll have to do," she replied, her manners having been thrown out the proverbial window by her anger. "Keep an eye out and let me know as soon as you hear of any other tech-related robberies or sightings of Shego."
"Ok, but that's going to…"Kim picked up the Kimmunicator and glared at the screen as she strapped it to her wrist; the Alcatraz2000 having taken its place for far too long. Succeeding in convincing Wade to hastily say, "…be given to you on the house."
"Glad we understand each other."
The Kimmunicator screen went black and Kim pulled on her belt. Going to her armoury, she slotted her standard assortment of gadgets (grapple, laser lipstick, corrosive concealer and paralysing perfume) into her belt and put on a pair of aviator sunglasses, which contained several different scanners and also, when combined with the leather jacket she slipped on, gave her an 'I'm going to kick your ass' look. Tossing her normal clothes into an overnight bag, she picked both it and her other bag of mission equipment up. She then headed to the back of the wardrobe.
"Kim Possible. 90125. Bonnie's a bitch. Pandaroo," she said clearly and a panel in the back of the wall opened to reveal her battle suit. Wasting no time, she placed it inside a specially designed travel box, made from Wade engineered titanium and requiring her thumbprint and retinal scan to open. While she would not likely need it today, she wanted it on hand inside the Sloth, should she uncover a solid lead on Shego. That bitch is going down.
Bags all packed, she left her apartment, locked it tight and rode the elevator down to the parking garage. Reaching the Sloth, she stored all three into the trunk (her battle suit box having its own special compartment) then climbed into the driver's seat. Starting the ignition, she synched the car's onboard computer with the Kimmunicator and brought up a map of the US, with the sites of all the recent tech thefts marked on it. There had been one last Tuesday at M.I.S.T and so that was where she would be starting. She backed the Sloth out of the parking bay and like a bat out of hell, zoomed out of the garage. I hope you're ready, Shego, because here I come.
##
An hour after having lost the right to choose the TV program they watched over breakfast to Ru-Ru, Shego had left the new volcano lair in the hovercraft to set about her daily tech robberies. After Drakken had finally ironed out the kinks in his lightning-ray, she had spent the past week and a half stealing things from labs and research facilities all over the country and still had over thirty percent of the revised list left to swipe. Unfortunately, this was one of the mad scientist's plans where they had been unable to go out and steal a readymade version of the device, as no one else had ever been mad enough to build one.
Over the course of the past two weeks, she'd wrestled with herself over what to do about the Kimmie issue and still not reached a conclusive answer. The only thing she had decided on was not to purposefully make any 'noise' while out and about. The longer the hero had to stew, the angrier she would become and thus the more likely to be susceptible to… whatever catalyst would bring about the serious gay moment that would send her hurtling into stage three; fear.
It can't be me, Shego thought as she guided the hovercraft over an expanse of woodland and towards a large solitary building dead ahead; the location of a prototype time-dilation-accelerator. I can't be the catalyst that send's Kimmie into fear.
"If not you, then who or what?" Miss Go asked.
After their heart to heart two weeks prior, she had talked and debated more openly, with the woman. There being less cursing, swearing and bursts of plasma from her and less smugness, chastisement and pitfall traps from Miss Go. In fact, the relationship had become almost amicable. I don't know. She's at the mercy of the universe on that one. I've done enough to help her.
"No, you pushed her off a ledge, but only onto the one below. She still has three jumps to make before she hits the ground. And she still needs help."
They had been over this more times than Shego could count over the past two weeks. And despite her continual refusal to budge on the matter, Miss go kept bringing it up. And she had a bad idea why she had not yet flown off the handle at the woman for doing so. Nevertheless, then she can get it from elsewhere.
"And where else do you think she's going to get that from? You said it yourself two weeks ago. Kim lives in a conservative community where her family, friends, school and society have told her she should be straight. She has no one with whom she can talk about this sort of thing and she is not likely going to come across the sort of catalyst she needs in the wild, much less go seek one out."
That's not my fault, Shego protested. She knew what Miss Go said was true, but could not bring herself to accept the woman's follow up point.
Speaking of which… "no, it's not. And if you were genuinely not interested in having any sort of relationship with her, you'd be doing this purely for her benefit, something which you've already shown yourself willing to do. Case and point; the incident in Heartbeats."
Ok, so that point she could not refute. In fact, her own justification for setting the boy who Kimmie had been snogging's shirt on fire, was that not even her rival deserved to go through the long drawn out hell that she herself had suffered all those years ago when dealing with the same issues. She sighed as she flipped on the hovercrafts cloaking device.
"However, if you were interested in Kim, that would certainly account for your hesitation to get more involved than you already are. For we both know that liking Kim Possible falls well beyond the limits of being Shego."
Can't we do this later? If you hadn't noticed, I'm about to break into a heavily guarded laboratory, Shego replied as she stopped the hovercraft above the roof of the building.
"Of course. However, I will point out that you were the one that brought the subject up this time," Miss Go said, her voice containing just a smidgen of smugness.
Shego cursed internally as she stood up from the controls and crept to the edge. She glanced below, waited for the count of five and dropped down atop the solitary unsuspecting guard's head. He was out cold before he even hit the deck. Wasting no time, she lightly ran over to the main ventilation duct. Will building designers never learn, she thought in amusement as she enveloped her hands in green plasma, slashed through the grating and climbed inside.
##
M.I.S.T had been a complete and utter bust. Kim had arrived and actually had to assure the dean that she had no desire to charge them before he had been willing to let her examine the crime scene. It hadn't taken long. A quick scan of the area with her sunglasses had revealed a faint pair of scents that had belonged to a ridiculously expensive cologne and an even more expensive perfume. She hadn't needed to send the samples off to Wade and get him run them against a list of recent clientele, to know that the perpetrators had been Señor Senior, Junior and his wife to be, Bonnie Rockwaller. Normally, the discovery that one of the big names from her rogues' gallery was up to no good and for the first time that she had been aware, brought his fiancé along for the ride, would have been enough for her to drop what she was doing and give chase, but she had bigger fish to fry than the Señors… much bigger.
Kim had left M.I.S.T, gone back to the Sloth and headed for the next location on her list; a lab in Upperton. That too had been fruitless. A quick investigation had revealed that one of the co-developers had staged the break-in and stolen the device himself, in order to cheat his colleagues out of their share of the credit. The others had happily paid her fee and she'd left the culprit to be arrested by the police when they arrived and set off once more. It was while en-route to stop number three; the Lowerton science expo, that she got the call.
"Sitch me, Wade," Kim said quickly as she answered the Kimmunicator call via the Sloth's computer system.
"I've got a tip you might be interested in," the tech guru replied as he sipped his soda.
"I'm all ears."
"A silent alarm's just been tripped at a research facility fifty miles west of your current position. Sending you the coordinates now."
The sound of Wade typing filled her ears for a few seconds before the map appeared on the screen. As soon as she processed the fact that she needed to turn around, she shoved the Sloth into a skid with the handbrake and wasted no time in hitting the gas pedal, leaving a large donut and eleven mark in her wake. "I'm on it. Send a message to the facility and let them know I'm coming and to not engage the suspect."
"Will do," Wade replied, before adding, "and, Kim, if it is Shego, be careful."
"There's only going to be one of us going back to our mother in a cardboard box this time and it isn't going to be me," Kim spat, not caring one iota for his concern. I can take care of myself!
"Geez, Kim, ok. Just let me know if you need anything."
The screen abruptly went blank.
Her anger now bubbling on the surface again, Kim sped out of Upperton at breakneck speed and headed for the highway. The moment she turned onto it and had clear asphalt in front of her, she was able to fully open up the Sloth and had hit over two-hundred mph in mere seconds. She'd make it to the research facility within twenty minutes and hopefully in enough time to catch Shego red-handed. Then I'm taking you down, Bitch. Weaving effortlessly between the snail-paced traffic, she left a trail of horn blasts behind her as her heavily Tweeb modified car rocketed forwards like a purple missile. While she would never openly admit it to them, in hindsight, being their ride monkey for a few days had totally been worth what she'd gotten in return.
Fifteen minutes later, Kim turned off of the highway and began making her way up a windy forest road to the out of the way lab. She'd been forced to slow down to a mere eighty mph and so she arrived at the metal fencing that surrounded the large building slightly past her ambitious twenty-minute estimate. The gate guard waved her inside and she brought the Sloth to a stop outside the main entrance and climbed out.
A man wandered over to meet her. "Thank you for coming so quickly, Miss Possible. But I'm afraid it may have been a wasted journey."
"What!" Kim exclaimed in infuriation, "has Shego already escaped?"
"No, no," the man replied hastily, now sounding worried about annoying her, "but, to be honest, we're not entirely sure that there has been a break-in."
She glowered at him, "you had better explain and quickly. I was told a silent alarm had been tripped."
"It was, it was. But our security team did a sweep of the complex and found no one and no sign of a break-in."
"That just means they didn't do a good enough job." Like some two-bit rent-a-cops could catch Shego. "Do you have a vault where you store your research projects?" she asked, as she set off towards the entrance.
"Yes, of course," the man said as he hurried to catch up to her. "I'll take you there straight away. Do you think that someone is here to steal one of our projects?"
"Well, they didn't come here to kidnap the scientists," at least not if you're any measure of their intelligence. Kim quickly brought up a map of the complex on her Kimmunicator. "I'll be faster if I go myself," she replied and she broke out into a run.
"But you'll need me to get past the security doors," the man called out after her.
"No, I won't," and if to demonstrate her point, she quickly used the Kimmunicator to hack the front door and stepped through it.
Bringing up the map again, Kim sprinted through the complex towards what she could easily tell was the vault. Without breaking stride, she expertly hacked each door before she'd even arrived at it. Soon she found herself outside a stereotypically large and obscene safe door. Even through the thick steel, she could hear a loud rumbling coming from inside. So, you're still here, perfect. It took her a little longer to hack the vault door, but soon the heavy clunking of the locks sounded and it swung open to reveal…
##
Shego silently slid the grating of the ventilation duct aside, peered down into the vault below and dropped one of her little gas canisters into it. Jackpot. Using her electromagnetic belt grapple, she slid down into the dimly lit room and stopped mid-air above the laser grid that the thin mist had quickly revealed. Plucking a single hair from her head, she allowed it to fall and watched as it was disintegrated by the green beams. So, it's the slice you to bits, ask questions never type. No problem. Her eyes glanced around and found the control panel beside the large round door. In days gone by, she would have needed to figure out a complicated way of either getting through the laser beams to either it or to the glass-fronted pedestal that housed the time-dilation-accelerator. However, with a large number of jobs still to do, time was not something she could afford to waste and so if there was a way to cheat, she would take full advantage of it.
"Ru-Ru," she hissed towards the utility pouch on her left leg.
The naked-mole-shark poked his head out.
"Think you can drop down, crawl under those lasers to that control panel and switch them off?"
Ru-Ru looked around and then gave her a cheeky grin. "Cheese," he said, which meant, "of course, but it is going to cost you your weight in cheese."
Shego rolled her eyes, "fine, you can have cheese when we get back to the lair. Now, get going."
She watched as the naked-mole-shark hopped down, scampered under the lasers and up the wall to the control panel and somehow found a way to get inside it. Now I know how Kimmie and the Buffoon managed to infiltrate so many of Dr D's hideouts and escape his death traps so quickly. Granted, this was not the first time Ru-Ru had saved her a lot of time over the past two weeks. He really was earning his keep and his cheese. Moments later, the laser grid went offline and by the time she'd lowered herself to the ground, the naked-mole-shark had reappeared. Shego had just been about to head to claim her prize when the sound of the vault door opening reached her ears; causing her to freeze misstep. Turning her head, she gazed upon the sight off…
##
"Motor Ed!" Kim exclaimed as her eyes widened at the sight of the denim-clad, mullet sporting, engine obsessed villain.
"Awww, Red, seriously? So not cool," Ed replied in irritation. "Seriously, Dude, you don't just show up to rumble a man's heist. That's like so not ok. I'm serious."
She felt her fists clench upon hearing the nick-name Ed always chose to call her. "What the hell are you doing here? Where's Shego!"
"That babe? Urgh, I like seriously ditched her years ago. That accessory talked way too much," Ed boomed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a quantum-valve-modulator to steal. It's so totally going to balance out the engine on my sick new ride."
Kim stood and surveyed the scene for a moment, incensed that she had not found Shego to be the perpetrator of this particular break-in. Beside Motor Ed was a large yellow machine with caterpillar tracks and a massive drill on the front. A massive hole in the vault floor told her that he had used it to burrow his way inside. The vibrations coming from that thing must have tripped one of the facility's silent alarms. Explains why the security personnel couldn't find anyone or any sign of a break-in when they searched the place. She fixed the motor junkie with a stern glare. He might not have been Shego, but he would serve as a good warm-up.
Not even giving Ed the opportunity to surrender, she whipped out her grapple, shot it skywards at an array of pipes and flew through the air towards him. With a two-footed kick, she sent the villain flying, just as he had been about to swipe the quantum-valve-modulator. "Sorry, Ed, but the only thing you're getting today is an orange jumpsuit," she said when he crashed against the vault wall.
Motor Ed hit the ground and she advanced on him while he was still trying to pick himself up. "Seriously, Red, you don't just drop kick someone when their back is turned. Not cool. Now you're going to get it."
"Bring it, mullet head," Kim declared, as she leapt at him.
Ed took a few wild swings at her with his ham-sized fists but she effortlessly dodged them. She'd learned from her mistakes in previous fights with him that, while he lacked technique, the man packed a serious punch if he landed a blow. This called for evasion, she ducked under a haymaker, speed, in a flash she slid behind him and precision, she caught the back of one knee with a powerful low-side-kick, which caused it to buckle. Motor Ed yelled in pain and she suspected she had at least popped the joint out, if not shattered it. However, she was not done. A second side-kick, this time aimed squarely at the man's kidneys, caused his back to arch, as she effortlessly transitioned into a reverse-turning kick, which caught him in the temple and sent him crashing sideways to the floor.
Anger flowing freely through her veins, Kim sauntered over to him as he struggled to get up. This feeling inside her… this desire to inflict pain upon him was foreign to her… almost. She'd felt like this once before; the night of her junior prom. Her rage had twisted her that night, transformed her into someone dark… someone who had felt the desire to actually kill Shego. And she could not deny that, in part, she had enjoyed how powerful she had felt that night. Afterwards, she had sworn she would never go there again, never allow herself to become that person. Yet here she was, her anger at her rival, at what Shego had done to her, having driven her back to this place. I'm going to make that bitch pay for messing with my head!
She watched as the man in front of her struggled to rise. Motor Ed was not the green-skinned woman, but certainly someone upon whom she could vent some of her wrath. An appetiser perhaps being the best metaphor. And like someone had popped a circuit breaker inside her head, Kim snapped and gave in to her darker impulses. As the motor junkie raised his head, she slammed her knee into his face; breaking his nose. His body fell backwards and she quickly fired off two punches at his jaw and followed up with a vicious front-snap-kick to his chest. Ed let out a scream as he soared through the air and crashed into the wall once more. She'd probably just broken several of his ribs with that kick. Her blazing olive-green eyes watched as Ed raised his head a few centimetres before it fell back to the floor. Pitiful, Kim thought as she advanced, he's not even able to give me a proper fight. When she reached him, she grabbed Ed by the back of his blue t-shirt and tossed him like a sack of potatoes towards the vault door. He did not make a sound when he hit the ground again; the stacked effect of her vicious blows clearly having been enough to KO him. When she reached him this time, she grabbed a fistful of his blonde mullet and dragged his unconscious carcase through the facility, receiving gasps from several onlookers that she passed. When she finally made it outside, she deposited Motor Ed at the feet of the man whom she had briefly spoken with on the way in.
"There's your thief," Kim said as she dusted her hands off. "You'll find a massive hole in your vault floor alongside a burrowing machine that was used to gain access."
"Oh, my word," the man stammered, his eyes fixated upon the large figure of Motor Ed and she knew he was trying to fathom how such a lithe woman had managed to render such a bulking brute unconscious and then drag him from the vault to here. "Thank you."
She did not even bother to look at the man as she pulled her sunglasses out of her pocket and popped them on. "Call the police and have him carted off to jail," she said and started walking towards the Sloth. "I'll be forwarding you the bill for my services."
"But… but…"
Kim shot the bumbling man a glare that dared him to finish his sentence. I just busted someone trying to steal some of your precious tech, so you are totally paying me for my services.
"Ye… yes, of course," he then sensibly said.
Without another word, she opened the door to the Sloth and climbed in. Wasting no time, she turned the ignition and zoomed off. Well, that was a complete and utter bust. Guess it's down to Lowerton to check out the science convention. She felt her anger burn deep at having wasted the better part of an hour and a half (once she factored in the extra driving time). Worse yet, it was now mid-afternoon and she'd not eaten since breakfast. As if to emphasise this, her stomach rumbled; loudly. I suppose I'd better stop off for lunch before I hit the science convention. I could so go a chimirito right about now. Course set, she sped off to continue her search; via a stop at the Lowerton Bueno Nacho.
##
"Wh… wh… what on earth?" the bewildered scientist bumbled as she caught sight of Shego standing in the middle of the vault.
Shit, busted.
However, before she could do anything, Ru-Ru scampered over to the woman standing in the vault entrance and sank his razor-sharp shark teeth into her leg.
The scientist screamed, "AHHH!"
Springing into the air Shego landed in front of the woman and quickly touched her forehead with a lit claw. She watched as the scientist's eyes glassed over and her body crumpled to the floor. Poking her head outside of the vault, it seemed that no one else had been around to hear the commotion. However, she was taking no chances. "Ru-Ru, let's go," she said and waited just long enough for the naked-mole-shark to climb into the pouch on her leg before she darted over to the pedestal, cut through the glass with a lit claw and snagged the time-dilation accelerator. Returning to the centre of the room, she tossed the electromagnetic clamp up towards the ventilation duct and quickly ascended. Carefully, she slipped the grating back into place and began to crawl her way through an intricate series of tunnels that led back up to the roof.
By the time she exited out into the warm afternoon sun, she could hear the alarm begin to ring throughout the complex. Damn, guess someone went to check on why that scientist hadn't returned. Oh, well, it's not like I have to escape through a bunch of guards or anything. However, if that woman remembers anything when she wakes up, it'll certainly give Kimmie something to look into. Guess I should probably be prepared for her showing up sooner rather than later. Leaping upwards, Shego landed on the front of the cloaked hovercraft and seated herself down at the controls. Selecting her next target in the navigation system, via a stop for lunch, she reclined back in her chair and let the autopilot do its thing.
It was at that point that Ru-Ru appeared from her leg pouch. He perched himself on her knee and looked up at her expectantly. "Et-hm," he said and held out his paw.
"Hey, I said you could have cheese when we got back to the lair," Shego replied, knowing full well what the little blighter was after.
The naked-mole-shark then acted out a rather humorous recitation of the scientist discovering her and him distracting her with a chomp to her leg. When he had finished, his beady black eyes met with her own and he held out his paw again.
"Hey, I didn't promise you squat for doing that," she protested. "You did that off your own back."
Ru-Ru looked at her pointedly and reiterated his demand by thrusting his paw out at her, "payment."
Shego rolled her eyes. She had no reason to cave to the naked-mole-shark's request, for if he tried to bite her, he would end up burning his mouth. However, she'd found herself engaging in these petty altercations purely for the fun of it. Damn, I really do enjoy having the little sod around. It was not a new thought; she'd had it several times over the two weeks since he had snuck his way into her life, but it kept repeating itself. Perhaps it was her minds way of reaffirming that good things, as well as bad, could happen if she strayed out with the confines of being Shego. She reached into one of the storage compartments and pulled out a packet of onion rings. "Ok, you can have these now, but if I buy you lunch and you don't finish it, you get no cheese when we get back to the lair, deal?"
Ru-Ru nodded emphatically, took the bag of onion rings from her and wasted no time in ripping it open and starting to stuff his face.
Urgh, I'm treating him like a child… albeit a child with razor-sharp shark teeth and a vicious streak about him. I might as well just put on the stupid teal headband now and start calling myself…
Before she had even finished the thought, Miss Go materialised inside her head, "you called?"
No, I was simply…
"About to suggest that you become me. Yeah, I know. Granted, it's not the worst idea you've ever had," Miss Go said with a sweet smile.
Your wardrobe choices suck, Shego replied playfully.
"I don't think it would go down well if you wandered into a classroom dressed in your current attire. The kids might think you're there to teach them something… kinky."
Shego laughed at that notion. Well, it would certainly whip them into shape. Stevie-boy is all about discipline, I'm sure he'd appreciate that slant on teaching.
It still came as a surprise when Miss Go laughed with her. She was definitely not used to having such amicable conversations with that part of her brain. "Knowing your luck, he'd probably want you to teach him a lesson or two."
She shuddered at the thought, remembering full well how she had ended up going on a date with Steven Barkin while she was Miss Go. Now that is taking things too far. That stupid date was by far the worst thing you did while you were in control.
"Worse than being friends with Kim?"
Much worse. Earth to Miss Go, you are part of me and I'm definitely in the lesbian camp. And there was absolutely nothing to be gained from it, no manipulation at play. It was just wrong.
"Yeah, probably not my best moment," Miss Go admitted. "I guess I felt sorry for the man as he didn't seem like the type who gets out much and then let Kim pressure me into it. Anyway, why are we running over that old ground? We should be talking about Kim and what you are going to do about her."
Must we? Shego groaned, we went over this before I stole the time-dilation-accelerator.
"No, we started going over this, however, you managed to worm your way out of the full discussion because you had to get to work."
She rolled her eyes, here we go again. And I was hoping to have a relaxing flight followed by a quiet lunch. Fine, let's get on with it…
##
Author's note:
Ok, so, quite the explosive first chapter. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm late. However, we have a fair bit more to get through before we're done this time, so let's head on over to chapter 2 of 5.