AN: We're a couple of chapters away from the real turning point for Ana, she's going to hit absolute rock bottom first. Still promising a HEA in the third book :)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

It was day four and Ana was still refusing to engage in not only therapy but life in general at Westpoint. Everyone had tried, and the only thing they'd managed to get her to do was play the violin because it happened to be in Mary's notes that Ana reported playing as a coping mechanism and they'd had Christian send Ana's violin to them. It was great in a therapeutic context for Ana to have her violin but they were limiting her to an hour where she would have been in a creative therapy session anyway.

"Today has got to be breakthrough day." Lorna said as she sat with Sandra pouring through Mary's notes once again just looking for a way in. "We have got to get her talking, she's getting worse."

"I didn't think she could get any worse and then she broke the stool." Sandra shivered at the memory.

Ana had been so desperate to kill herself the previous day she'd managed to break a wooden stool by smashing it across the garden step and she'd managed to cut her neck with it before anyone got to her. Thankfully she'd cut low enough that it didn't actually hit where she wanted it to but that had led to her being dosed up and put into their calm room overnight, which was basically their version of solitary confinement where she was supervised the entire time she was there.

"What about if we get Mary here?" Sandra asked as she peered through the notes. "Ana's clearly been open with her… what if we do a joint session get Mary here to lead it to start and then slowly, as Ana opens you take over?"

"That could work." Lorna said feeling some hope again at last. "That seriously could work, Ana trusts her…I'll call her." She said already whipping out her phone. The truth was she'd have tried anything at this stage, it had been four days of silence and they couldn't cope with that anymore, not when she was hurting herself and wanting to kill herself.

Upstairs Ana was pacing along the bedroom floor. Her roommate had gone down to breakfast but Ana didn't want breakfast and she wouldn't go down there while everyone else was there anyway. So instead, she hung around the white walled bedroom, walking up and down the brown carpet in the narrow space between the two beds. She'd seen the five other people she was living here with briefly, but other than her roommate she hadn't spoken a word to the others and managed to avoid them at mealtimes and during group therapy by simply not participating.

Nancy came up eventually with a cup of tea and some toast. Ana smiled at her, Nancy was the one person she did speak to probably because she was the only one she had regular contact with, who wasn't a therapist and whose mission wasn't to get her talking.

"How's the neck feeling?" Nancy asked as she placed the tray down on the bed.

"It's alright." Ana shrugged her hand automatically going to the big white gauze that now hid the injury. It was incredibly sore; she'd cut deep enough that Nancy had no option but to stitch it.

"You know you're allowed to come to me too, you don't have to go to one of the therapists when things get too much." Nancy said, knowing that Lorna wanted her to be there for Ana if she could because she wasn't letting anyone else be there.

"I know." Ana shrugged feeling like a naughty schoolgirl. "I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"You don't need to apologise, we're here to help Ana." Nancy said but it was all that was needed to shut Ana down and she backed away feeling overwhelmed again. "Hey, just eat your breakfast. Lorna will come to find you in a bit."

"Thanks." Ana said before sitting on her bed to eat. Eating was one of the only things she was doing consistently, she knew she had to eat, she didn't want a feeding tube again and she knew they'd do that here because one of the other girls in the house had one. With everything going on, it was one of the things she didn't want to end up having to deal with.

When she finished her breakfast and thought about taking the plastic plate and mug down to the kitchen, she stopped hearing footsteps approaching.

"Mary!" She gasped as she looked at her open door, the familiar shrink walking into the room. Ana jumped from her bed and wrapped her arms around the psychiatrist and burst into tears.

"Hey, shh, you're ok Ana." Mary cooed softly as she held onto Ana's sobbing figure. She'd had a call from Lorna asking her to come up and after Lorna had explained everything that had happened in the last four days she knew she needed to be here for Ana. It was obvious Ana believed she was beyond help and that was why she was refusing to engage, she was here to try and change that belief in Ana and get her talking. If they could get her talking, they'd get through to her.

Mary stood there, for ten to fifteen minutes while Ana cried and then calmed down and calmed her breathing down, safe in Mary's arms.

"What are you doing here?" She asked wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve.

"Well…" Mary smiled. "A little birdie told me you'd gone mute so I'm really glad to hear your voice and find out you still have the ability to talk."

"I don't want to talk to them Mary… I don't want to be here."

"I know." Mary signalled the bed and Ana reluctantly sat down, the shrink beside her. "I know you don't want to be here Ana but right now you have no choice, the court ordered…"

"I know Lorna told me." Ana sighed, she knew that the court had ruled she had to stay until she was no longer a threat to herself. Lorna had bought the court order to show her so that she couldn't deny it anymore. Until she'd seen that document, she'd had hope that when the seventy-two hours were up, she would have been able to leave.

"And then you go and harm yourself Ana… proving them absolutely right."

"Proving you, you mean." Ana snapped. "You made the call."

"And it was the right one. I wasn't going to sit back and watch you kill yourself." Mary snapped back, Ana needed some cold hard truth right now, Mary knew Lorna and Sandra would have been handling her with kid gloves and it was about time Ana was given a good talking to. "The longer you fail to engage, the longer you're going to be here. That's not a joke Ana they can keep you here indefinitely."

Ana looked at the floor, hoping the ground would swallow her up, she could hear the disappointment laced in Mary's voice and it hurt.

"Once you start engaging, you're on the path to getting out of here, to getting home, to seeing Christian…"

"Have you spoken to him?" Ana asked and Mary shook her head, she hadn't spoken to Christian since Ana had been admitted because there hadn't been a need, she was intending on speaking to him and Grace after she left Westpoint, knowing the two would appreciate an update. Though, Mary knew that they would have been informed that Ana had managed to self-harm, that was protocol.

"I spoke to Carrick." Mary replied. "He came to court."

"Of course, he would." Ana rolled her eyes.

"Look I've come out here as a professional courtesy to Lorna and because I care deeply about you Ana and I want to see you get better. So why don't you do me a favour, swallow some of that stubborn pride of yours and come down to the therapy room with me?"

Ana sighed, she knew she couldn't let Mary down when she was asking her to do this. Despite having felt so betrayed when she first learned that Mary was having her committed against her will, she knew Mary only wanted to help her, that's all she'd done since the first day they'd met.

"Ok." Ana replied and Mary managed to mask the relief she felt at maybe getting through to Ana.

They went downstairs and into the therapy room Ana had been put in when she'd first arrived at Westpoint. Lorna felt her heart miss a beat when Ana actually came in with Mary, she had been so sure it wouldn't work. Every other attempt at getting Ana to communicate had failed and normally by day three, patients would come looking for support without needing to be pushed. Ana had been different from every single other person Lorna had experienced walking through the door. Ana sat on the couch, curling herself into the corner with her feet up on the seat. Mary sat beside her, close so that she could offer physical support and comfort if needed.

"So Ana I was thinking maybe Mary could lead this session." Lorna said and Ana nodded, that was ok with her, she was comfortable with Mary.

"Ok, so Ana Lorna has your file with all my notes, so she knows everything we've covered but I think what I would like to know and what Lorna really needs to know is what do you think caused this recent deterioration." Mary was confident in starting here, it was a pre-arranged introduction into the session that she'd agreed with Lorna before she'd gone up to see Ana so that they knew they were on the same page.

"It…" Ana sighed and looked at her hands, this was so much harder than it should have been. "Eric Lincoln was one of the two people who held me captive for three years." Ana looked to Lorna who nodded, she knew this already but she was letting Ana say what she needed to say. "While Elena his wife was cruel and sadistic, Eric could be quite nice. When I'd been there a while, Eric would come to the basement where I was kept and he'd bring me snacks, and then he would let me come up into the main house. He'd give me baths, fresh clothes, he'd brush my hair and then he taught me to read. He also raped me, repeatedly but only with Elena…" Ana frowned and shook her head, her little lips pouting as she processed what she was saying. "He never hurt me on his own, only when Elena wanted him to. He would take me to the park and for ice cream and he used to call me Little Baby. He's now facing thirty years in prison for raping me and… and that makes me sad."

"Sad?" Lorna asked, grabbing onto the first emotion Ana had expressed in everything she'd said.

"He cared for me." Ana looked at her hands and picked at the side of her thumb with the nail of the other. "He loved me."

"But he raped you." Lorna said and Ana nodded.

"And that's what makes me feel… so disgusted with myself."

"Why?" Lorna asked hoping to just get as much out of Ana as she could with the opening Mary had given her.

"Because I know what he did to me was wrong but I love him anyway."

Lorna looked at Mary who nodded, it was the exact same story she'd had at the hospital, it was the battered wife syndrome, or Stockholm, either way, Ana was definitely struggling with this particular memory and issue far more than any of the others she'd encountered on her journey to face her past.

"Ok, so Ana what I'd like you to do is let me help you through dialectical behaviour therapy. The idea behind it is that we help you accept who you are while also helping you change these negative emotions and behaviours. But if it's going to work, I'm going to need you to not only work with me but with Sandra and most importantly in group therapy, because group is a vital part of DBT."

"Ok." Ana agreed because she was giving up fighting, she didn't see the point anymore, she had to face this or she was stuck here possibly forever and she didn't want that.

"DBT will do so much for you Ana." Mary said deciding the young woman would appreciate the reassurance. "And we'll be able to transfer parts of it into our work when you leave."

"So, Ana, let's talk about some goals." Lorna said, taking the opportunity now while Ana was being cooperative to start the therapy with Mary present. "If you could set a couple of short-term goals what would they be?"

"To get out of here." Ana replied dryly and Lorna smiled, she couldn't help it, that was always one of the goals and it was a great one.

"Ok, to go home, what about a goal that you think will help you reach that one?" Lorna asked and Ana looked in surprise that she wasn't being scolded for wanting one of her goals to be getting out of here. "Going home is a great goal Ana, but we need to get you there." Lorna replied seeing the look on Ana's face. "So think of something you think will help you get there."

Ana glanced at Mary who gave her an encouraging nod, she knew Ana could do this, she just needed to have some faith in herself.

"I guess…to stop feeling connected to Eric Lincoln." Ana shivered. "I don't want to feel the way I do towards him."

"Ok." Lorna smiled reassuringly and nodded her little head, this was more progress than she could have hoped for today but she was glad this was working. "What about how you feel about your feelings towards Eric?"

"I feel disgusting." Ana sighed, it was the only word she could use to describe how she felt. "It's…" She broke off and looked at Mary who gave her another encouraging nod. "It's what makes me hurt myself… this… overwhelming feeling of being just disgusting."

"Thank you for sharing that with me Ana." Lorna said and Ana rolled her eyes, no matter how much she was asking Lorna not to patronise her she still managed to do it. "So I think if we address how you respond to how you feel about Eric, it may then allow us to address those feelings toward Eric in a much calmer environment, so we focus on accepting your feelings around Eric and see if we can bring the intensity of the disgust down so it's more manageable."

"I just want to stop feeling like this." Ana replied feeling as though Lorna wasn't saying that would be possible.

"And long term that may happen, but sometimes we have to admit we can't make these feelings completely go away, so what we need to do is manage them and accept them, dampen down the intensity of them so that we don't become overwhelmed by them." Lorna explained knowing it was difficult to accept, but some feelings would never be washed away, the important thing was learning to live with them and stop them from getting to the point where self-harm and suicide were options.

Ana looked at her knees, unsure what else she could say right now. Mary gave Lorna a reassuring nod, they'd had their breakthrough, it was an incredible start, now to just get Ana through the program, that was the most important thing.

"So Ana, one of the important parts of DBT is the work that's done independently outside of the therapy session, I've already said that group therapy is compulsory here at Westpoint and it's compulsory as a part of DBT. So tonight, as your homework, I want you to attend group and introduce yourself to the other patients." Lorna said and Ana looked at her, the thought of speaking with the other five people in the house made her anxious.

"You need to go to group." Mary said seeing Ana's anxiety written all over her face. "They won't bite, they're in the same boat as you." She said and Ana nodded stiffly, she wasn't sure about it but she would go with it.

"I would also like for you to try and get to know Lacey a little, she's your roommate and I think it would be very beneficial to you to try and make friends with her." Lorna continued to which Ana scowled, she'd barely said more than hello to Lacey, now she was having to be friends with her, seemed a bit much.

"Anything else?" Ana asked cocking an eyebrow, she felt like she was being challenged now and it was starting to wind her up, she wasn't sure how much longer she was going to be able to sit in this room without completely losing it.

"One more thing." Lorna smiled. "It's something we'll work on over the coming weeks, but I really want you to try and find myself, Sandra or any other member of the team, when you feel like things are getting too much or something is playing on your mind again, addressing issues as they bother us and affect us, in the moment is a vital part of DBT."

"Fine." Ana replied, though she didn't think she'd ever be able to just walk to one of the many shrinks or councillors that worked at Westpoint and just spill her guts when things played on her mind, she hadn't even been able to do that with Mary or Christian yet and she trusted them completely.

"Good ok, this is progress." Lorna smiled and Ana rolled her eyes until she got a scathing look from Mary. "Ana, why don't you go and track Alistair down and go and play your violin for a bit?" Lorna suggested and Ana nodded, glad to get out of the room.

"Mary…" She stopped at the door and turned back to the person she knew was saving her. "Thank you." She said when Mary met her eye. Mary smiled and gave a small nod, Ana didn't need to thank her but she knew it was more than that, it was an acceptance that she did need help and she was going to get it here.

When the door shut Lorna looked at Mary, a wide smile on her face while she shook her head in complete awe of what they'd just achieved.

"She's going to do ok." Mary said also smiling with Lorna, this had been a huge breakthrough.

Mary left Westpoint to the sound of Ana's violin carrying through the air. It made her feel good, that they may have just had the breakthrough Ana needed to start healing. It wasn't going to be an easy battle, it would be an uphill climb and there would be setbacks but the more they could get done before those setbacks happened, the easier it would be for Ana to face them in the future.

What worried Mary the most was Ana not completing the program. DBT would usually take about six months and Mary didn't anticipate Ana remaining a risk to herself for that length of time. Mary just hoped that by the time the court order would be lifted, that Ana would at least know the importance of staying at Westpoint and seeing the program to the end, otherwise they may have found themselves back at square one before they even knew what hit them.

Christian was in his office at Grey House when Mary called to say she wanted to see him. He'd thrown himself back into work knowing it was the only thing he had to move his mind from Ana. He wanted to be there for her, but he had come to accept that the only way to be there for her right now was to keep away and be ready for when she could see and speak to him again.

"Is she ok?" Christian asked jumping to his feet when Mary was shown into his office.

"She's fine." Mary said quickly, knowing that he texting to say she was coming to see him would have worried him. "She's finally spoken to Lorna, she's been mute for four days."

"Lorna said when she called yesterday. How bad is her neck?" Christian hated knowing Ana had hurt herself again.

"It will leave a scar." Mary replied having seen the pictures Nancy had taken before cleaning the injury and stitching it.

"I don't care about her scars." Christian said as he signalled the couch to Mary so they could sit. "But she's talking, that's good, will she make progress now do you think?"

"I think it's highly likely she will yes." Mary smiled as she sat down. "They called me up there because they hoped she'd be willing to speak with me and it worked so I'm on standby for any setbacks, she's set her goals and so now she has something to work towards she might start really engaging."

"That's good." Christian nodded as he too sat down. "I just want to see her."

"And you will, if she keeps this up for the next couple of days, they'll probably let her call you. The reason they don't allow contact in the first few days especially before engagement is because they fear the family being manipulated to collecting them early."

"Ana's there on a court order, even if I wanted to, I can't go and get her." Christian replied, he hated that he hadn't been able to speak with Ana for himself but Mary had been allowed to visit her.

"They also don't want the family's mental health to be affected by the distress of the patient." Mary replied. "Ana's been a mess for the last four days Christian and the fact you don't have those images in your head is not a bad thing. What's important to Ana right now is that you're taking care of yourself while Westpoint takes care of her, she's going to need you at your best as she recovers."

"I'm seeing my shrink." Christian replied, he'd seen John every day since Ana had been at Westpoint and he'd continue to do so until John felt he didn't need to anymore.

"I'm glad to hear that." Mary smiled. "So I just wanted to come and tell you to your face how she was doing anyway, I thought you'd like that."

"I do." Christian smiled. "I really do, I miss her Mary and I just want her safe and home…"

"And she will be, I'm hoping this is it Christian, if she gets through this program to the end, she'll come out changed but for the better."

"But what does to the end mean Mary? How long are we looking at here?" Christian asked and Mary sighed, this was the main problem for them right now was knowing whether or not Ana would stick to this to the very end.

"Christian Ana will only be held under the court order as long as she remains a danger to herself and others. Once that hurdle is overcome Ana will be free to leave Westpoint." Mary explained gently. "That could be anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of months."

"I feel a but coming on." Christian said trying not to show that he was anxious about this but Mary could read him like an open book, the way he was frowning, how his hands were clenching and unclenching on his knees.

"She's doing DBT a form of therapy that's about both acceptance of one's self and changing one's negative behaviours. It's a very powerful form of therapy when done right especially with young people and those who have suffered trauma. I think it will be extremely beneficial to Ana and I do think if she engages properly that it will change her in such positive ways." Mary swallowed because she knew she still hadn't answered Christian's question. "DBT needs twenty to thirty weeks of engagement before they graduate from the therapy."

"Thirty weeks?!" His eyes nearly fell out of his head and his voice went up an octave.

"I know it's really hard to accept Christian but Ana needs this and I'm hoping you will be on our side when we try and persuade her to stay when the court order is lifted, she needs this, you both do if you're going to have a happy marriage." Mary explained quickly as she sensed Christian was about to lose it.

"Mary thirty weeks is longer than we've even been together." Christian choked. "I mean… thirty weeks? That's more than half a year."

"I know, it's difficult but it's not an easy therapy to transfer to the community, especially as group therapy is an important aspect and we would need to find a suitable group, she'd need to meet new therapists, it would just be easier and reduce the risk of taking backward steps, for her to see the program through to the end."

Christian shook his head, he couldn't believe this, the last time Ana had been in the hospital she'd been there for sixteen days and left with a plan but now he was being told she'd need around six months in the residential unit.

"Look I know it's hard Christian. But she needs this." Mary said again, hoping Christian understood how important this was because she would need his support if they were going to persuade Ana to stay when the day came that she would be free to leave.

"Ok." Christian nodded, because he knew Mary was right, it didn't make it any easier but he would accept that. All he wanted was for Ana to be happy and for them to get married and have a life together, whatever that life was going to be. He knew Ana wasn't happy right now, she'd never been truly happy with him only in the brief moments such as when they went gliding. If staying away from him for six months was going to be what she needed to be able to truly be happy, then he would have to live with that because six months apart would be worth it for a lifetime of happiness.