Virgil didn't realize the meeting was today, so he was thankful for Roman's note. Time must have gotten away from him. He was so focused on Thomas's schedule he had kind of forgotten his own. It was one thing to skip breakfast and another thing entirely to skip a meeting he agreed to. The last few times he skipped were kind of eventful for him so the other sides would freak out for sure. Luckily, Virgil had already started his 'Patton' story the other day, and while he was still delirious from Deceit's room, he could conceivably pull off not killing or maiming anyone by the end. It was much easier to convince himself it would all be okay right now, and he knew that feeling would fade the longer he sat in his room.

Pat liked stories that were sentimental or sweet, which Virgil probably couldn't come up with no matter how much of Deceit's influence helped him. But he also likes animal stories, especially talking animals. Finding inspiration in his lack of ability had worked out before, so the story was about a little boy who couldn't stop having nightmares. It was all he could think about in the day and he couldn't sleep at night. The little boy tossed a coin in a fountain and wished for good sleep. So a magic psychic bat came that night and granted his wish for just one night of pleasant dreams so he could be upbeat for his little sister's birthday party.

That was another thing he could relate to, but he really doubted Pat could figure out this one. Virgil's magic bat was a golden snake with venom that hid his fears from himself so his friends could like him more. That was a stretch unless Logan had somehow figured out what was going on and told Pat. But Deceit would have told him if that had happened, so there was no point in worrying about that. Realizing he didn't have to worry was a bizarre sensation for Virgil. He was so damn grateful for his magic psychic bat.

Virgil finished up the story with a little time to spare. He'd love to go waste time with one of the sides, but it still seemed like a bad idea. He could maybe make a new friend, though. He could feel the overcharged feeling in his veins that let him know he had enough anxious energy to burn. One who could protect his room and alert him when someone entered since Virgil was out so often. Something bigger that could defend his room and the other spiders. Virgil got up from the couch and stretched out. He reached up and stroked Beatrice, who was still sitting in his hair.

"How about a little brother, Beatrice? A really big little brother?" Virgil asked affectionately. She stomped angrily on his head and said something unsavory. "Beeps, I'm not replacing you," Virgil rolled his eyes. He reached up and gently stroked her again. "I'd be more willing to take you out of the room more if there was someone else here helping you and to protect you. Your smaller siblings can't help like that," Virgil offered. Beatrice conceded grumpily.

Virgil cracked his knuckles and stepped into the middle of his room. A giant huntsman spider seemed appropriate. Nearly a foot of very leggy spider should keep anybody back, and the legs would be easier on Virgil to make than the big body of a goliath birdeater. Virgil focused as hard as he could and held his hand out, palm down. One this big might hurt, so he braced himself. There was a sharp pain in his palm as he focused on creating one. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut and just tried to focus on not messing up. When the sharp feeling finally subsided, Virgil peeked slightly at his hand. A big boy with much larger fangs than he intended was crawling from his palm to the top of his fingertips. He was roughly double the size of Beatrice and mostly black instead of mostly purple like her.

"What would you like to be called?" He asked gently and reached his other hand over to feel its long delicate legs. "Voltaire? I love it. Voltaire, you're the new room guard. You need to keep all your siblings safe while I'm out," He said gently. Voltaire rubbed its forelegs together in acceptance and climbed up onto his shoulder. Virgil walked over to the staircase and laid down upside down, holding himself up with webbing. "So tell me what fears you've got," He asked the new spider as it crawled down his arm.

Chatting with Voltaire was nice. His fears were pretty weak, but he was big and scary, so he was perfect to deter other sides without actually hurting them. Much. Plus, he was very gallant, determined which made fun to talk to. Virgil has successfully passed the last of the time without feeling too lonely while chatting with Volt and Beeps on the stairs. Other than being pretty low on energy from making Voltaire and D's room, he felt good about going to storytime tonight. He was looking forward to laying back and reading some stories that felt wrong. It was going to be unnerving in a fun way, which should be enjoyable instead of horrible. And that sounded nice.

—

Virgil's legs were over Patton's lap and he was propped up on the couch arm reading the stories lazily. It had been pretty non-eventful when it was just Virgil and Logan in the living room, even though they were alone for a couple of minutes before Pat and Ro showed up just barely on time again. Logan seemed too distracted to talk, which he was thankful for. Remus's story yelled at you if you didn't read it first, so he had started with that one today, just like everyone else had given in to do.

Remus's story felt profoundly wrong for him, so he must have been listening in after he left last time. His protagonist didn't die or kill anyone directly. In fact, the entire story was about avoiding action by doing other things. A funny side to pick. The protagonist partied all night and cleaned his bathroom during the peak of the zombie apocalypse. There was a literal zombie apocalypse, but he wanted cookies, so he went to the store and dodged everything. He worked at the lab making the cure and couldn't be bothered to get up when the zombies raided it and just read comics in the security office. What an icon.

Virgil laughed so hard he choked at the end. Patton reached out to make sure he was okay, but Virgil just chuckled and nodded while he caught his breath. Patton gave him a breezy smile and went back to reading himself, his arms holding the papers resting on his legs. Virgil dropped his hand to the floor out of Pat's view and flipped Remus off affectionately. Remus smiled a big toothy smile of what seemed to be vindication and also gave Virgil the bird. It tweeted, which got confused looks from Roman, who checked around for a source. Remus and Virgil quickly went back to 'innocently' reading and Roman gave up and went back to reading when he saw nothing unusual.

Pat's was next, which was the 'Virgil' story. Patton didn't have much dramatic irony Virgil usually had, but it was still a negative story with a bleak-ish ending. A group of teens who were camping got lost in the woods while partying. A 'being punished for breaking the rules' kind of theme. It would have been a great set-up for a slasher. Maybe Remus could add on to the end for Virgil and they could have a laugh about that later with Deceit. Those kinds of movies were Deceit's guilty pleasure to watch. Patton unknowingly writing half of one might make his day.

Roman's 'Logan' story was amazing. It was fantastically gay and dry as heck. It was the most scathing thing he could have done without directly insulting Logan. College professors grading things in the coffee shop go out, but they're both teaching med students so they didn't 'hold hands', they 'interlocked digits'. Roman must have abused a thesaurus and fell down a biology Wikipedia hole to write this. Nothing big even happened in the story other than the original gay confusion. Roman's intent was clearly to blast Logan instead of producing an amazing story for the ages, and he mcfreakin' succeeded.

Logan's 'Roman'-style was funny for all the wrong reasons. It followed a dragon, but the dragon's hoard was books instead of gold. The Dragon liked to make puzzles for adventurers to get lost in when trying to come to defeat him. The story was just the Dragon reading books and frying adventurer's brains until the one who finally makes it through changes his mind because of the Dragon's sound logic. Virgil choked on a laugh again when the adventurer conceded to the Dragon's superior stance. Logan took that wish-fulfillment part of fantasy themes and ran with it.

Remus had looked at him quizzically while he caught his breath again. Virgil figured he wanted to know why he laughed and showed him the navy blue font and pointed to the last paragraph. Remus switched packets and flipped pages to the last paragraph to see for himself. He broke out in a mad giggle fit, which earned some serious glares and shushing from Roman. Logan looked incredibly confused, but wouldn't dare talk during his own rules about quiet reading time. Which was also amusing in a strange way.

Virgil was in a great mood after laughing at the ridiculousness of these stories and placed his packets on the floor, sitting up to cuddle against the extra-warm Patton while he waited out the reading time for everyone else. Patton was surprised when Virgil wrapped his arm around him but sighed contentedly as Virgil dropped his head on Patton's shoulder. Remus grunted at Virgil, but Virgil just rolled his eyes and mouthed 'later' at him. He wasn't entirely sure what the duke wanted, but it wasn't the time. Virgil closed his eyes and appreciated the warm heart, letting himself drift a little while he waited out the rest of the reading time.

—

Virgil woke up sometime later to the TV playing 'The Office' quietly, still entangled around Patton. Patton smiled and reached up to stroke his hair when he shifted. He looked around and saw all the other sides had left. He blinked the rest of the sleep from his eyes and yawned, stretching out his arms.

"Hey, sleepyhead! You fell asleep while waiting for us to finish," Patton said gently.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Pat. Did I miss the discussion?" Virgil asked sleepily and rubbed his eyes.

"Remus was pretty freaked out about the idea of waking you up, and that spooked Ro, so we decided to postpone it," Patton responded lightly, clearly trying to sound soothing. Virgil appreciated it, honestly. It was much easier not to freak out over delaying them while everybody was so busy. Virgil released Patton and stood up to stretch his legs, followed by Patton who must have been stuck under him for a while based on the time.

"I'm sorry I had you pinned for that long, pop," Virgil said and rubbed the back of his head with embarrassment.

"It was a nice cuddle, bud, don't worry!" Patton said cheerily as he stretched out his arms. "I'll text the others and see if they still want to do discussion today," Virgil nodded and yawned, wrapping his arms back around Patton as Pat pulled out his phone. Patton shifted to let Virgil hug him from behind while he texted.

"Ah, the cuddle monster has returned to the living!" Roman declared as he rose up a few moments later.

"You guys didn't have to reschedule for me," Virgil mumbled quietly into Patton's back.

"Well, it's not much of a discussion without you kiddo," Patton said softly and held Virgil's arms wrapped around his waist.

"I've never seen Remus act like that in my life, I wasn't taking the chance. It may be the only thing in the Thomas-sphere he takes seriously. He kept hissing at us to shut up and then left," Roman explained. Virgil chuckled into Patton's back. It was nice to have the tables turned for once. Virgil was the one scared of Remus most of the time. Logan rose as well.

"It's nice to hear you laugh so much these days, kiddo," Patton commented as Virgil settled down and twisted around to give Virgil a hug.

"Yes, what elements did you find amusing this evening, Virgil? I was curious about what diverted you and Remus. The stories didn't include your shared sense of dark humor," Logan asked as he sat back down on the couch.

"Oh, man, if I knew I was going to get grilled I would have basted myself first," Virgil rolled his eyes backed up into the couch, taking Patton down with him. Patton giggled as he stumbled down on top of Virgil.

"That's some… vivid imagery, Virgil," Roman said, sounding a little confused. Patton laid on Virgil this time, seeing as Virgil wouldn't let him go, though Virgil let him sit up on the couch. Roman and Logan sat in their regular spots.

"Remus's story was full of cynical humor, Lo. It was completely defeatist and relatable. I mean the world is ending, but where can I get some iced coffee? Peak mood," Virgil supplied finally. Logan looked extremely confused for a moment. Maybe the slang did it? Logan shook it off quickly.

"I was not aware that being a defeatist could be humorous. I will take note. Remus also chose to write differently from his regular ramblings this week. He left before we had planned to try each other's reoccurring themes last week. It was an oddly coincidental timing on his part," Logan said. Virgil was pretty certain Remus was listening in through Roman, but he wasn't sure if the others knew the creativity twins were linked to each other, so changing the subject seemed safer than possibly dropping a bomb that Roman possibly didn't want to share. Remus 'over-share' Sanders wasn't here to drop it for him, anyway.

"Ro's story was hilarious, too," Virgil said with a grin and a quick thumbs-up of appreciation, which he dropped lazily back around Patton after a moment and pulled himself a little closer to Patton's warmth.

"Thank you, Virgil, I'm glad you enjoyed it," Roman replied with a flourish and smiled back.

"What was funny about it? It was a cute romance with lots of big words," Patton asked. Virgil ruffled Patton's hair.

"It wasn't about the contents of the story, Pat, it was about what the writing said," Virgil said lazily. Logan bristled.

"Was there a theme that I potentially missed?" Logan asked and picked up his notes, scanning them quickly.

"Perhaps this is one of those rare things that is over your head," Roman said sarcastically with a chuckle and waved Logan off.

"I refuse to believe that. Please explain to me what I'm missing," Logan insisted, still scanning his notes,

"Roman was roasting you without roasting you," Virgil supplied flippantly.

"Virgil, please do not include me in your strange grilling metaphor, it does not help elucidate me in the slightest," Logan said shortly and put his notes down to glare at them.

"Over his head," Roman said with a bemused laugh, and Virgil joined him. Logan groaned in frustration.

"It would not be if you simply explained it to me," Logan grunted and crossed his arms. Roman just laughed again, which caused Logan to huff. Virgil shifted closer to Patton. He couldn't get much closer at this angle, so just slid down behind Patton before he became a human feather boa. Patton yelped as Virgil slipped down, but he scooted forward to make space for Virgil who was now wrapped around his back. He was so warm. Virgil's eyes fluttered for a moment.

"Are you tired again, kiddo?" Patton asked and ruffled Virgil's hair. Virgil grumbled slightly and lazily fixed his bangs.

"You're just so toasty," Virgil mumbled into Patton's side.

"Sorry, it always slips out at least a little," Patton apologized meekly.

"No, it's the best, never turn it off," Virgil whined and squeezed Patton as close as he could.

"Patton, trade with me before Virgil falls asleep again," Roman requested, getting up and rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"No, don't take my space heater!" Virgil whined and grasped onto Patton, refusing to let go.

"We're not done talking, yet, bud, we haven't even gotten to your story yet!" Patton said as he got up, trying to pry himself from Virgil. Virgil groaned and released him, seizing Roman as he sat down where Patton was. Roman chuckled as Virgil gripped on. Roman wasn't warming like Pat, but Ro gave off a light charged feeling which woke him up. Pretty sneaky, sis.

"What's there to talk about? Mine wasn't funny like you guys'," Virgil groaned and nestled into Roman's side. Even if there was a nap conspiracy, at least Virgil got nice contact. Roman giggled a little when Virgil accidentally tickled him. Then Virgil tickled him on purpose and Roman smacked him upside the head.

"Roman, don't hit Virgil," Patton chided him.

"He tickled me!" Roman objected.

"We are extremely off subject," Logan groaned.

"I didn't get the funny memo, I was just trying to figure out what I could do that Patton would like," Virgil grumbled, rubbing his head, eying Roman suspiciously for another attack.

"I did like it, kiddo! It was so sweet that he just wanted to make his sister happy," Patton said with a shimmering look in his eye.

"Oh, I didn't think I could do sweet. Neat," Virgil commented blithely and settled back down. "I think Pat did a 'me' story pretty well, though maybe more toned down," Virgil added. Sort of like he wished he could be. Virgil hid his face in Roman's side and frowned. Roman ruffled his hair lightly and Virgil grumbled.

"I think it missed that fatal element, though. Pat implied the ranger would find those kids even though they wandered into the woods drunk in the daytime," Roman supplied. "After most of Virgil's stories, it was pretty heavily implied they didn't make it,"

"I tried to leave it a little vague," Patton muttered.

"You did, Patton. Just because one character mentioned it doesn't mean we can assume it was to happen," Logan reassured him and held out his hand, motioning to calm down. "Virgil, was there a reason you pointed out the final paragraph of my story to the duke?" Logan asked shortly and looked pointedly at Virgil.

"Yes. And I'm afraid it's also over your head, Logan," Virgil supplied a little bitterly.

"That's what you guys were laughing at? Logan's little fantasy projecting? I thought it was some dark joke I didn't get," Roman said, sounding disbelieving.

"I would like to be included on this 'great in-joke' you two seem to have," Logan said sourly.

"Lo, buddy, you wouldn't believe us if we told you," Virgil groaned.

"I would like you to try regardless of your assumptions," Logan stated plainly, tapping his foot.

"It's your praise kink!" Remus popped up, laughing wildly. Logan jumped up in surprise and stumbled back into the couch. Patton squeaked and Roman stiffened. "It's been later, Vi-vi, come on!" Remus whined. Virgil groaned in exasperation.

"We're in the middle of the discussion! You know, the ones you usually skip while you're off gallivanting in the mind palace stabbing stuff?" Virgil said slackened from behind Roman.

"And it's boring!" Remus groaned.

"Fine. I know we didn't get to everything, but I'm going to go deal with this giant brat if we're good here? He might blow us up or something if I don't," Virgil stated with a little grumble. He was having an agreeable time making fun of Logan with Roman and wasn't ready to stop yet, but he was going to see Remus, anyway. "Does anybody object to that?"

"Blow you up? Virgey, I would never," Remus said, sounding fake aghast, holding his hand to his chest and fanning himself with the other. "Teeny-Tiny exploding unicorns all over the room, maybe," He added with a sinister smirk and showed how small with his fingers, followed by spirit finger mock-explosions. Virgil grunted and pulled himself out from behind Roman.

"Anybody? Bueller?" Virgil asked again. They all looked kind of shocked, but there was no response. The duke did have that effect on them, sometimes. "Cool, I guess," Virgil shrugged and pushed himself off the couch, reaching on the floor for his copies of his stories. "Hey, remember Pat's story?" Virgil asked.

"Nobody died! Who cares!" Remus groaned, flailing his arms like limp noodles.

"Exactly," Virgil nodded at him and grabbed his arm. Remus's eyes widened and a manic grin split out as they sank to the edge of the mind palace. Virgil created a simple room for them to work in with a big soft rug and a couch. "Okay, we've got less than two hours and maybe 30 minutes in one of our rooms, so we got to make it count. It's the perfect setup for a slasher, right?"

"It is!" Remus cackled. "From grandpa? Who knew!" Remus wiggled his eyebrows and grinned in delight.

"Let's upgrade it, then," Virgil said, sitting down on the couch and summoning a laptop. He pressed Patton's story on to the laptop screen and it loaded into the computer and Virgil passed it over to Remus who plopped on the couch next to him.

"I will do nothing without at least as much contact as you gave my brother," Remus said firmly, taking the laptop but holding it off from his lap.

"You fucking dork," Virgil rolled his eyes and leaned against Remus, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Thanks for smelling only mildly terrible," Virgil added after a quick whiff of the air. It was vinegary and sharp, but less poop or puke smell. Not as great as strawberries but, good smells were probably a rare choice for him.

"It's only fun if you need a shower afterword!" Remus sang and placed the laptop in his lap and started writing.

"The redhead chick has to die first, she kissed that dude remember? Slasher rule," Virgil said while Remus began writing.

"That fuckhole who bought the wine coolers is next," Remus said. "I'm gonna shove the empties into his intestines!" He cackled.

"God, sick," Virgil wrinkled his nose in distaste but chuckled, anyway.

—

"D!" Virgil called out as he rose into Deceit's room later that night. "I've got the coolest thing for you," Virgil said excitedly.

"Virgil, what in the world were you thinking?" Deceit demanded, sounding annoyed.

"That you'd like it, come on, read it!" Virgil said, shoving the final story that Virgil and Remus managed to type out before the voices in the mind palace started up again or they started trying to kill each other in one of their rooms. It was quick and slapshot, but it would be funny and gruesome, nonetheless.

"Virgil, that's not what I'm talking about," Deceit groaned.

"And I'm talking about this slasher that Patton wrote half of," Virgil said, tapping the paper and twisting around the back of Deceit and giving him a hug, nuzzling his neck.

"You can't be serious," Deceit said, looking down at the paper.

"Dead serious. Like the teens in the woods," Virgil chuckled. That definitely got Deceit's attention. Virgil pulled Deceit to the bed. He had already started reading as he sat down. Virgil wrapped his arms around Deceit's waist again and nestled his face in the crook of Deceit's neck from behind, watching him read. Deceit absentmindedly ran a hand through Virgil's hair while he read. Virgil sighed in with contentment and closed his eyes. He hoped D would like it. He had fun writing it with Remus, at least.