29

Ruva's guilt followed her like a heavy cloud, foreboding and promising rain. It didn't leave all week, and it made her feel disjointed from everyone else.

She didn't laugh as well as she could when Fitzy set himself on fire, didn't feel enough disappointment at the homework Marmaduke had set them.

Everything was just less than before, nothing was enjoyable enough.

She no longer found solace walking amongst the trees, or riding Dancer, or sitting in the rec room.

Ruva felt the need to do something, something to prove she wasn't selfish.

Tua continued to grow, but she had yet to spread out her wings and try to fly. Each time she spoke, Ruva cringed, the bird's every word reminding her about its true home.

It hadn't been right for Ruva to keep Tua cooped up in her room, not when the bird was wild. And while the bird took comfort in her presence, Ruva knew that it deserved to be in the forest, not in her dorm.

But separating the bird from her would be cruel, especially with the orange ribbon connecting them. The least Ruva could do for it was take it for morning walks in the forest, rising before dawn when the academy was icy.

Returning from one such walk, Ruva made sure to stamp the ice off her boots before heading inside.

The dorms had been decorated for Kaldoras, with bunches of evergreen hung up with any flowers that could be found in the cold winter.

But the most eye-catching part of the display was the huge banner draping down from the stairs. The bright words Happy Kaldoras took centre-stage, with drawings of evergreens, holly branches and flowers decorating the border. Ruva would have smiled at the cheerful display, but for some reason it just made her feel emptier.

Besides, it would only be up for today, tomorrow everyone was going home. The holidays had crept up fast on Ruva, but she didn't feel any of the exciting anticipation that she normally would.

Tua chirped, urging Ruva into motion once more. She climbed the dorm stairs, making her way up to the highest floor. Nobody was up and about, yet, but Ruva could hear the muffled sounds of people waking up. The thump of footsteps, a muffled conversation, water running through the pipes.

Ruva felt disjointed once more, like she was operating on a different frequency to everyone else.

Trying to shake off the feeling, Ruva picked up her pace and headed towards her dorm, looking forward to a warm shower.

Heading into her dorm, Ruva saw Arra was just starting to stir, but still fully unaware of her surroundings.

Putting Tua in her makeshift nest, Ruva headed into the bathroom, turning on the shower and washing the dirt off her skin.

By the time she came out, Arra was up and about, and Ruva felt relaxed after the lengthy shower.

But as soon as she thought that, her mood dropped and her face darkened. It was so indulgent of her to take a long shower, a waste of hot water and time.

"Anything wrong, Angel?" asked Arra, who was brushing her hair.

"Nothing," said Ruva, averting her gaze. She concentrated on the materials around her, the carpet under her feet, her thermal shirt fitting her figure, and her long, damp hair that would take the rest of the day to dry out.

Arra stopped, putting the brush down. "Are you sure? You seem a bit down today."

Ruva lowered her eyes, concentrating on the carpet beneath her feet.

Arra must have recognised the look, because she immediately stood up and brought Ruva onto the bed. "I'll do your hair," she said, reaching for the hairbrush. Arra set up the music function on her TCD, humming along as she brushed Ruva's hair.

Ruva took comfort in Arra's familiar strokes, grateful that she hadn't demanded any answers or put her under pressure. Arra understood that she wasn't feeling too great, and that she didn't want to talk about it, but she was still trying to help her.

Ruva smiled with gratitude, her chest building with warmth. There was a little voice in the back of her mind telling her that she was being selfish, but she ignored it, instead basking in her friend's comfort.

They stayed there for close to an hour, just brushing hair and listening to music.

It was just what Ruva needed.

…

When Ruva's hair was well and truly brushed, light dancing across the academy, Arra got up, asking Ruva if she wanted to go down for breakfast.

Ruva nodded, feeling looser and more relaxed than she had in a while.

They both got off the bed, putting on their shoes and getting ready. As they were about to walk out the door, Tua made a low, mournful sound. The lament became a word, one Tua had never said before.

"Lonely," she said. "Lonely, Ruva. Lonely."

Ruva froze in the doorway, hesitating for only a second before running over to Tua, scooping her up and nuzzling her.

Arra poked her head back through the doorway, her brow crinkled. "Is everything okay?" she asked, looking concerned.

Ruva bit her lip, a twinge of guilt in her guts as she thought about Tua. "Tua said she was lonely," she said, "She seems happier now, though, but I don't want to leave her."

Tua definitely was happier now, making a soft humming noise in her delicate throat, reminding Ruva of a purring cat. Tua jumped up to Ruva's shoulder, seating herself right next to Ruva's neck. Tua didn't seem at all inclined to move, and Ruva turned helplessly to Arra.

Arra fought off a smile as she saw the predicament Ruva was in, eventually choosing to say, "I guess she can come with us for breakfast – besides, I don't think she plans on moving anytime soon," she said, losing the battle against her smile.

They walked across the hallway and down the stairs, Ruva resting her hand on her shoulder to protect Tua if need be. There wasn't much noise on the highest floor, but the lower they travelled the louder it became.

Many students were moving about, most on their way to the food court, others heading to their friend's dorms.

Tua shuffled about anxiously in all the noise, she wasn't used to being around this many people. Ruva stroked Tua's feathers, mumbling quiet assurances. The bird settled, burrowing into the collar of Ruva's shirt before relaxing.

"Did you finish all that homework you had piled up?" asked Arra, her eyes flickering to where Tua was hidden. "I've got to say, the pile on our desk was getting impressively high."

Ruva gave a half smile, and she responded in a voice quiet enough not to disturb Tua. "I don't know, I feel like I got through most of it, but I can't remember where I was at before I fell asleep."

"How do you manage to sleep anywhere? It takes me hours to fall asleep in my own bed, let alone on a desk."

At that moment, they walked out of the dorm building and into the biting winter air. Goosebumps prickled along Ruva's flesh, and Tua chirped in distress as soon as the cold air hit her.

Arra's eyes crinkled in concern when she heard the noise, the impression only increasing when Ruva started stroking it, whispering comforts in its ear.

"Are you sure your bird is going to be okay in the food court? It doesn't seem too happy out here," she said, continuing to watch Ruva's movements.

"Tua will be okay," Ruva reassured. "She's just unfamiliar with large groups of people. Besides, she always chirps like that when I bring her out into the cold, but soon she enjoys herself and becomes active."

Arra nodded, but she didn't seem to believe Ruva.

However, she didn't speak of it any more, not for the rest of the walk.

When they entered the food court, the sudden rush of warm air and noise rushed over them, distressing Tua and making her cry out.

Ruva hurried to calm the terrified bird before it made a spectacle, but Arra just gave Ruva an 'I told you so' look.

Ignoring Arra's smug expression, Ruva focused on calming the bird down, letting Arra pick their table. It was only once Ruva sat down did she notice who else was on their table.

Leo blinked from across the table, staring at Ruva – namely, her shoulder where Tua was.

'Is that a bird on your shoulder?' he asked, staring at the vivid blue bird.

Ruva bit her lip and nodded, keeping her eyes on the empty table in front of her.

Leo gave a breathy laugh, shaking his head. 'I wish I could say I'm surprised, but in all honesty, I'm not.' Leo stopped abruptly, but it sounded like there was more he wanted to say.

Ruva looked up curiously, watching as Leo rubbed his neck, just below his chin. He seemed really nervous, and he refused to look Ruva in the eye.

Why was he nervous?

Ruva continued to look at Leo, trying to decipher his mood.

They must have been silent for too long, because Arra coughed awkwardly before launching into a conversation about what she was doing in the Kaldoras break. She didn't leave any gaps for Leo or Ruva to jump in, but Ruva was grateful. She found it so much easier listening to others talk than talking herself, and Leo seemed the same.

Looking over to Leo, Ruva still thought he looked nervous – no, nervous was the wrong word for it. More like restrained, like he was holding himself back from something.

Ruva scrunched her eyes, trying to work out why Leo was acting strangely. Was it because it was almost Kaldoras break? Was he tired? Hungry? Sick?

No, those all seemed wrong.

What could it be?

And before Ruva knew it, the gong rang. Ruva blinked, concentrating back on the room around her and Tua on her shoulder.

She hadn't even ordered breakfast.

"Come on Ruva," said Arra, "We've all got Med Science, and I don't want to get in trouble with Luranda, especially not in our last lesson of the semester."

Ruva nodded, quickly touching the circle on the menu for an apple and some toast to take with her, but nothing appeared.

Ruva sighed, the food court closed at the start of the first lesson, and now it wouldn't be open until lunch. She got up, ignoring her protesting stomach, and hurried after Arra.

Ruva reached the food court doors, pushing them open against the icy wind. Tua let out a distressed chirp, yelling "Cold!" in Ruva's ear.

She had forgotten that Tua was on her shoulder, but there was no time to take her back to the dorm, and Ruva would hate for the bird to become lonely.

It would have to come with her, she decided, as she headed for the gen sec.

Tua was still complaining about the cold, but Ruva rubbed her feathers, smothering its protests.

"Hush now," she said to Tua as she ran her fingers down the bird from head to tail. "You need to be silent when we enter this building, and I need you to hide in my pocket where nobody will see you."

Ruva flattened her hand for Tua, and she jumped on without hesitation. However, when Ruva brought the bird towards her pocket it started to protest, flapping its wings and trying to hop up Ruva's arm. Tua didn't chirp, though, not even when Ruva gave it a forceful nudge.

While inwardly she swelled with gratitude that her bird was willing to follow her requests, she failed to convince Tua to go into her jacket pocket.

After many failed attempts, Ruva relented, falling into the shadow of the gen sec building. She was running out of time, the second gong would soon sound, signalling the start of the lesson.

Ruva placed Tua back on her shoulder, with Tua snuggling into her usual spot. There was no way the resplendent bird wouldn't be seen there, and Ruva strained her brain as she walked into the gen sec doors.

Immediately the air became more clinical, the scent of disinfectant hanging around the nondescript walls.

As Ruva reached the foot of the stairs, an idea suddenly came to her.

Scooping Tua from her usual perch, Ruva lifted her to the back of her thick plait, whispering, "Hide in my hair, Tua. Climb into the folds near the top, where nobody will see you."

Although Ruva worried that the young bird wouldn't comprehend her words, Tua obediently climbed into Ruva's golden locks, being as quiet as before. Ruva started heading up the stairs at a near jog, she had only a few minutes to get to Lab Two on the third floor before the final gong would sound, meaning Luranda would shut the door on her.

Dread began to build in Ruva's stomach as she climbed the stairs. The last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to herself, not with the unorthodox bird hidden in her hair.

Quickening her pace once she reached the third floor, Ruva hurried on towards the classroom, hearing her classmate's voices far ahead of her.

She finally reached the corridor, the bell ringing and echoing through the hall. Luranda was facing the class, reaching out to shut the door with one hand.

Ruva sprinted for the door, managing to get her foot in at the last second.

She pushed the door back open, sliding into the room whilst avoiding Luranda's gaze.

"Miss Springden, are you unclear about the rules in my class?" said Luranda, not at all happy at her pushing the door open. "Tardiness is unacceptable behaviour, you are toeing a fine line, understand?"

Ruva tried to shrink back, keep everyone's attention off of herself and her bird. At the same time she mumbled, "Yes, Professor. Sorry, Professor."

Luranda's nose flared red enough to contend with the bright colours on her lab coat, but all she said was, "You'll join me after class, Miss Springden, where we will have a further discussion over your behaviour."

Ruva nodded and scurried to her desk, keen to avoid Luranda's attention.

"Let me repeat what I said before I was interrupted," said Luranda, staring Ruva down. "Today we will be learning about burn ointments, when and where to apply them and their ingredients. Open your textbooks to page sixty-three…"

Luranda spent the first half of the lesson lecturing them about when to apply a normal wound treatment, and when to use one specialised for burns. Luranda repeated over and over that if a large blister had formed, a burn ointment was your go-to choice.

At one point during the seemingly endless lecture, Leo caught Ruva's eye. 'Is your bird back in your dorm?' He seemed to flinch ever so slightly when he sent the message, as if he hadn't meant to say it.

Ruva gave the smallest smile, hyperaware of Tua's every move in her plait. 'No, I didn't have time. She's hiding in my hair.'

Leo smiled, flashing Ruva with his white teeth. 'Only you would manage to sneak a bird into class.'

Ruva had no idea how she was supposed to respond, so she stayed quiet, but Leo didn't seem to mind. He continued looking at her from across the classroom, and Ruva realised he was daydreaming.

A slow, languorous smile spread across his face, directed at her. Ruva's cheeks flushed red, and she tilted her head down.

"Miss Springden, I just asked you a question, I'm waiting for your answer," said Luranda, tapping her foot impatiently.

Ruva blinked, focusing back to the front of the classroom. Luranda was still waiting for her to answer, but she didn't know what the question was. "I – uh… um… I don't know," she finally said, giving up on trying to work out an answer.

Luranda's nostrils flared, but she only said, "We'll discuss this later."

Then she turned to the rest of the class, continuing her lecture.

"Burn ointment is based on a chemical called mytradon, often found in heat-resistant animals and plants. However, one of the disadvantages of this chemical is that it loses effectiveness in cold weather. In fact, if this salve is exposed to temperatures under ten degrees, it becomes useless, the mytradon changing at a cellular level, nullifying the other chemicals."

Even though the lesson was boring, Ruva did not want to get in any more trouble. She made the effort to jot down extra notes, trying to look attentive to fly under the radar. But based on Luranda's frequent frosty glares, it wasn't working.

Towards the end of the lesson, when the professor was prowling around the classroom like a silent predator, she stood over Ruva's shoulder, watching as she wrote.

Ruva's hand started to shake, and she resisted the urge to cover the Tua's hiding spot with her hand.

Finally, Luranda took a step back, looking at the other students.

Ruva breathed a sigh of relief, until she heard Luranda take in a deep breath. She cringed, preparing for the worst.

Luranda sneezed.

Twice.

Not a normal sneeze, either, but a powerful one that had her bending over, as if the sneeze pulled her down.

It was the least composed she had ever seen the professor, her surprise only increasing when she launched into a sneezing fit.

The entire class was staring at her, nobody knowing what to think.

Luranda stumbled towards the front of the class while sneezing, her nose bright red and starting to swell. When her sneezing finally eased, she took a deep breath, wheezing slightly.

"Something," she began, "Has triggered my allergies. I do not think any of you know, but I am allergic to many species of bird, particularly so ones from the Fringillidae family."

Ruva's eyes widened. Tua was a Bluebell Finch, part of the Fringillidae family. Her bird was the reason Luranda had a reaction, the reason she was now wheezing slightly, even as she tried to mask it.

As if she knew what was happening, Tua started to squirm, only increasing Ruva's concern. There was no way she could ask Tua to stop, not without drawing more attention to herself. Instead, Ruva slowly raised a hand to her head, giving her bird a rub while appearing to scratch her neck.

"I never let avian creatures anywhere near my classrooms, so my reaction must be coming from another source." Luranda said, rubbing her red nose.

"Let's now switch our train of thought, thinking back to our lessons on infectious diseases. What is it called when I catch a disease – or in this case, allergen particles – yet I haven't come into contact with the disease?"

Harry raised his hand, seeming almost excited when he remembered the answer. Luranda called on him, and he said, "It's called community transmission, right?"

Luranda nodded, "That's right, in this class right now we are dealing with transmission of the virus, where we have to trace each person's individual movements to find the source of the outbreak." –The professor paused, looking around the classroom– "Has anyone come into close contact with any species of bird, especially ones of the Fringillidae family?"

Ruva's guilt started to build, Luranda had them searching for transmitter, when really the cause was Tua, who was in this very room. She was unintentionally leading the class on a wild goose chase, when she knew how to solve the problem.

Arra slowly raised her hand, seeming to hesitate at the last second.

"Yes, Miss Squeaker?" said the professor, trying to sound amiable when really she was patronising more than anything else.

"I – um – might have been near a bird today…" she said, hesitating once more. Ruva sent her a panicked look and shook her head, she'd never hear the end of it if Luranda found out she was keeping a bird in her room – let alone in her class.

Arra looked to Ruva, reading the panicked look on her face. "I was over at the clinic early this morning… helping Vanic with – uh – some stuff. There were a lot of animals there and… maybe some birds?" she finished weakly, but their teacher seemed to buy it.

Luranda nodded, then said to the class, "Here we have our transmitter, the unsuspecting spreader of this virus. Now I must ask you, Miss Squeaker, did you wash your hands after you came into contact with the avian?"

Arra froze for a second before shaking her head, deciding to play into Luranda's hand.

"As you can see, students, by doing simple acts of hygiene, like regularly washing your hands, you can prevent viruses and reduce the chance of unwittingly spreading disease. It is recommended that you wash your hands after cooking, outdoor activities, using the bathroom, sneezing, coughing and other regular events.

Small changes in your lifestyle can do everything from stopping common colds and river fever to defeating sarinpox, saving hundreds – maybe even thousands – of lives. If it requires so little effort from us to save someone else's life, then why shouldn't we?"

Everyone became silent, contemplating Luranda's words. Ruva couldn't help but agree with what the professor had said, but she was more nervous about Tua, who was still hiding in her hair. Her bird's patience was near its end, Ruva kept feeling her twitch and occasionally shudder as the bird longed to move around. The end of lesson couldn't come soon enough, in Ruva's opinion.

But as soon as she thought it, the gong rang, everyone in the class automatically shutting their textbooks and collecting their gear.

Ruva did the same, all too eager to leave the classroom and get away from Luranda.

As they were all leaving Luranda announced the nightly homework "Read pages sixty-four to sixty-nine and revise our learning on infectious diseases, I will be testing you on this next term."

Someone groaned – Harry, most likely – but he disappeared out of the door before Luranda could apprehend him.

But as Ruva headed towards the door, Luranda called out to her, "Miss Springden, come back here. We still need to have a talk about your punctuality."

Ruva reluctantly turned around, and she felt Tua twitch impatiently.

"Take a seat, and explain to me why you were late to my lesson."

Ruva sighed, then made a great effort of walking to the desk slowly, trying to give herself more time to come up with an excuse.

"Hurry up, Miss Springden, I have another class to teach, and – unlike you – I value punctuality."

Ruva started to move faster, despite the fact that Tua was twitching more and more. She felt truly sorry for her bird, who had been hiding in her hair for so long. Ruva sat down at the desk, letting out a silent sigh.

But as soon as Tua felt Ruva sitting down, she started to wriggle out of her niche, making Ruva's hair jolt this way and that.

"Ruva Springden," Luranda said, "What in the world is your hair doing?"

Ruva's stomach dropped and she found herself frozen in place. Tua took advantage of her immobility, wriggling out of Ruva's hair and landing on Ruva's shoulder.

She grabbed at the bird, trying push it back out of sight, but Tua jumped into the open air, spreading her blue wings and–

Tua was flying.

Tua was flying.

Ruva stood up, watching as her bird flew around the room.

She was beautiful. The way she dived through the air, curling around obstacles with innate grace. Her brilliant blue feathers reflecting in the classroom's halogenic lights, the tiny swoosh every time she pumped her wings.

A smile spread across Ruva's face, she shared Tua's joy in her first flight.

"RUVA SPRINGDEN!" yelled Luranda, her face red and eyes swollen. "WHY IS THERE A BIRD IN YOUR HAIR?!"

The smile disappeared from Ruva's face, she lowered herself back into her chair. The joy she felt seconds earlier was gone, emptiness threatening to swallow her once more.

Luranda covered her mouth and nose with her coat, trying to stop her allergic reaction from getting worse. She took a deep breath, bringing back her composure before berating Ruva once more.

"What were you thinking? I've never seen something so atrocious in my life. You should know my rules by now, yet you – and all the other students – continue to astound me with some of the things you do. I made all the rules perfectly clear from the first lesson, yet you still manage to break them, bringing a bird – a bird – into my classroom..."

Ruva stopped hearing Luranda, instead concentrating on the desk in front of her.

The smooth stone surface was cold and black, an unnaturally consistent shade, with none of the streaks and swirls of real stone. It was polished with something that was undoubtedly fireproof, with all the things Fitzy whipped up. In fact, almost everything in the classroom was fireproof, something that the academy must have learnt the hard way.

Ruva felt like that stone now, cold, hard and unmoving. There was nothing special about her, she was just a desk, same as all the others.

Tua flitted down and landed on her shoulder saying, "Fly! Fly!"

Ruva smiled slightly, other desks didn't have a Tua.

The gong rung, and Luranda stopped her rant. Rubbing her puffy eyes, she said, "You can leave now, Miss Springden, we'll continue this conversation later." but that wasn't all she said. "And as for your bird," Luranda said, opening the window, "If I hear any word of it being in another class then you'll be severely punished."

Once the window was opened, Tua didn't think, just flew straight out and into the open air without so much as a goodbye.

Ruva ran over to the window, her breathing stuttering and hands shaking. She couldn't see Tua, couldn't tell her apart from all the other birds that were flying past.

"Hurry up, Miss Springden, you were late to my class, now you're holding up my next one and becoming late for your second."

Ruva grabbed her things and ran out of the classroom, not realising until she was halfway down the stairs that her next class was back on the top floor.

…

Ruva didn't remember what happened in any of her classes.

The entire time was blurred memories of staring out the window hoping to catch a glimpse of Tua, trying to avoid her teacher's wrath. Alas, she didn't see her bird once, not even in her practical lessons, Archery and Combat. She lost count of how may detentions she got, lost count of how many times Arra asked if she was okay.

No, she wasn't okay, but how did she explain that without being selfish?

It would be much too selfish to tell her friends about this, to pile her concerns and stress on other people. They didn't deserve that, not at all.

And so Ruva kept moving through the day, a blur of empty windows and concerned faces.

…

At the end of the day, just after Ruva's last class, the headmaster approached her, asking for a word. Ruva nodded, dread building in her stomach, she already knew what was coming.

Following after Marselle, Ruva's dread only increased when she realised that they were going to the headmaster's office.

But the pit in her stomach increased tenfold when he opened the door, revealing Luranda, Varin, Marmaduke and a whole host of other teachers.

No, today was not her day.

…

Ruva walked down the tower stairs, feeling utterly drained. The meeting had taken hours, most of which was Luranda accusing her and ranting about her ignorance. All of the teachers were against her except Varin, who understood her close relationship with the bird.

But when Marselle had asked for her perspective of the story, she couldn't speak. There was a clamp around her neck stopping the words from coming out, and there was nothing she could do about it. Even when Varin gave her prompting questions, she still couldn't bring herself to respond, even when all was needed was a shake or nod of her head.

Luranda had taken it upon herself to reprimand Ruva several times, until she was almost crying, struggling to hold the tears at bay.

Luranda just didn't understand that Ruva didn't mean to make her have an allergic reaction, she was just trying to do the best for Tua.

But whatever she did, she just seemed to make things worse. Tua would be better living in the wild, but Ruva had connected that ribbon to herself denying Tua the chance of a normal life.

Of course, Ruva knew that Tua would have died without her, the sparrow would have dropped her to her death, but her brain wasn't willing to play along, her guilt building and building.

Ruva kept tilting her eyes towards the sky, hoping to see Tua, only to feel a surge of guilt when she wasn't there. Then her gaze would turn back to the ground, looking at the grass beneath her feet until she couldn't resist looking up once more. It was a vicious cycle that continued until Ruva reached the dorms, and stepped inside.

Ruva climbed up the dorm stairs, looking through every window she went past, hoping for just a glimpse of her bird.

But all she saw were grey skies, full of clouds and promising rain.

She was so exhausted when she made it back to her dorm even though she'd barely done anything. It felt like she'd ran a marathon, when all she did was go to classes for the day.

Ruva opened her dorm door, walking straight over to her bed and collapsing. She didn't have the energy to take her shoes off or put the blanket over herself, she just laid there.

Eventually, her guilt seemed to ease, replaced by a soothing lack of emotions. She just stayed as she was, thoughts flitting through her mind but not registering.

She was filled with nothingness, but nothingness was better than pain.

…

Ruva stayed on the bed for hours. She didn't move, not even when her leg went numb and her arms prickled with goosebumps. A light snow started to fall, just enough to coat everything white, the flakes drifting down the windowsill. Normally this event would calm Ruva, or energise her, but she just felt tired.

And then, when Ruva was almost asleep, she heard a tap on the window.

Ruva blinked, looking out into the cold.

It was Tua.

Ruva rushed and sat up, opening the window to let her inside.

The bird swooped in, gracefully riding the icy breeze and landing in her makeshift nest. "Tua home!" she said, trying to shake off the snowflakes stuck on her wings.

Ruva shut the window, rushing over to Tua's side. She held the bird close to her heart, its vibrant blue feathers somehow warmer than her hands.

"Ruva!" Tua chirped, snuggling deep into her cold hands.

Tua was back.

She was safe and happy, and she had returned. She hadn't forgotten about Ruva, not like what she'd been fearing.

Ruva felt a rush of warm emotions, she was suddenly overwhelmed by how much she loved Tua. Her ribbons flickered into view and Ruva watched as a new ribbon formed between them; a ribbon of love.

It was the purest white, the same colour as light glinting on freshly fallen snow. The ribbon travelled from her heart to Tua's, letting off the faintest glow.

Ruva hadn't yet said anything to Tua, and it took the finch a nudge and an impatient chirp to spur her into action.

"Why didn't you say anything before you left?" she said, bringing Tua up to her cheek. "I was all alone, I didn't know when you'd come back."

Tua ruffled her wings, jumping out of Ruva's embrace and into her makeshift nest.

"Tua lonely," said the bird, trying to defend herself. "Ruva go, but Tua stay. Tua cold, Tua lonely." The bird sounded melancholic, something Ruva had never conceived.

"I'm sorry," Ruva whispered, dropping her eyes.

She didn't know what else to say, didn't know how she could justify her behaviour. She had made a mistake, and there was no way she could undo it.

The love she felt moments earlier was gone, replaced waves of guilt washing around her body, beating in time with her heart.

There was no justification for how she'd been treating Tua, she'd been nothing but selfish.

But then when she tried to fix her mistake, by bringing Tua with her, she just caused more havoc, damaged more relationships.

More people became angry at her.

More things went wrong.

Ruva made everything wrong.