- You Have Selected [SCRIBE EVA YEARLING]

[PREVIOUS ENTRY]

Member: Senior Scribe Eva Yearling
Service Number: YL-326SS
Date of Birth: 10-19-2247
Date of Death: Presently Serving
Place of Death: Presently Serving
Chapter: East Coast
Duty Stations: Citadel (Current), Adams AFB, Project Purity, Arlington Library Outpost
Areas of Research: Long Range Signal Decryption, Satellite Communications, Plasma based weaponry, Archives/Records
Archive Submission: Audio Transcript (Frequency T83:RFL:23384473)

[Holotape recording transcribed by LH Level 3 Scribes for Archive Submission. Playable audio file unavailable through this terminal – See Senior Scribe Jonas Eckler for original holotape]

[Audio transcription of 3rd East Coast authorized contact of Lost Hills since severed communications on 03-28-2276. This report was captured on 06-17-2281 at 0832]

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Okay… System is on… Let's turn this to frequency nmmbr[Muffled noises]… Think that's it. Connecting to West Coast LH SATCOMM Sector… Initialized… Okay. Now we wait.

[44 bored seconds of synchronization pass]

Unknown Voice Speaking
Hello there, who is this?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Callsign: EC-Citadel-PEL SATCOMM Transmission P216. Scribe Yearling speaking. Who am I speaking to?

Unknown Voice Speaking
Well, well, well, You've Definitely contacted the Lost Hills SATCOMM Sector, Gorgeous. I'm sure you heard All about the legendary Senior Scribe Gavin Seal.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Can you see me, Creep?

Scribe Seal Speaking
Indeed I can, Beautiful. Hang on a second… Here I am! Haha! What can I do for you, Scribe?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Oh, good. Let's get this over with. I got a file I'm supposed to transfer for Scribe Klifton.

Scribe Seal Speaking
What happened to that guy? I chatted with him the past few times and he seems like a cool dude!

Scribe Yearling Speaking
"Cool dude?" That guy's a perv. Either way, he was sent down to the lab to help with a small project. He'll be back next time, so don't get used to me.

Scribe Seal Speaking
Oh no! Don't say that, Beautiful! You're breaking my wittle heart!

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Whatever, I'm sending you that file. Let me know when the thing is done so I can get that activation code.

Scribe Seal Speaking
You don't wanna chat in the meantime?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Not particularly, no.

[7 sad seconds pass]

Scribe Seal Speaking
Figures, I wouldn't wanna talk to an east coast waster recruit anyway-

Scribe Yearling Speaking
I'm not an 'East Coast Waster!" I was born at Lost Hills in 2247! I was the daughter of Senior Paladin Michael Yearling who fought the Enclave at Navarro!

Scribe Seal Speaking
Mmhmm. Sure you were.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Fuck You! I went across the country at the age of 9 and done more for the Brotherhood out here than you've probably done in your pampered Lost Hills life!

Scribe Seal Speaking
"Pampered Lost Hills life" gotcha…

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Wh-? What are you writing?

Scribe Seal Speaking
Me? Oh! I'm just adding what you're saying to my report for Elder Oslow. See how inclined he is to give you guys that signal support once he hears this… Such a shame; he was starting to like you guys at Citadel. Not so much the guys at your Adams place, Ha!

Scribe Yearling Speaking
You wouldn't do that! Klifton will kill me, so will Paladin Bael!

Scribe Seal Speaking
Wouldn't I? Hmmm? Maybe I would know better if I wasn't a "Pampered Lost Hills" boy…

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Look! I-

Scribe Seal Speaking
Hahahahaha! Just fucking with you! I don't care what you think, you're three thousand miles away! Haha!

Scribe Yearling Speaking
You really are a piece of shit. No wonder Klifton likes you.

Scribe Seal Speaking
You sound so emotional? Why so passionate?... Never mind, good to know I still have that effect on women, Ha!

Scribe Yearling Speaking
The effect of making women want to decapitate you?

Scribe Seal Speaking
It takes a lot of hate to wanna decapitate someone. And you know what they say, "Hate is right next to love in the brain."… Was that the expression?... It was something like that...

Scribe Yearling Speaking
You're horrible.

Scribe Seal Speaking
Whatever… The download's only at 13%!? Must be a glitch.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Christ.

Scribe Seal Speaking
You bored as I am?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
No.

Scribe Seal Speaking
You're a real buzz kill, you know that? You should get Klifton in here. Chatting with his bud is way more important than that other project he's on… Important to west and east relations that is. That is if present company is any example.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
16%. Go faster, thing.

Scribe Seal Speaking
What do you even do for the east coast, "Ms. My Father was a Paladin"?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
I got moved to SATCOMM from Plasma based energy weapons.

Scribe Seal Speaking
Hmm? Figured you woulda specialized in "Water Purification" Ha! But Plasma systems, huh? Pretty impressive… If you were a Squire.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Listen, Moron. I didn't like that Project Purity crap any more than anyone out West! Also, you know plasma weapons, huh? I bet you couldn't tell the difference between a nuclear heat diffusion coil and a gamma shielded C199A internal circuitry unit!

Scribe Seal Speaking
Everyone! Come quick! Scribe Yearling looked up some vocab in the archive! I bet you were an Archive Scribe, weren't you?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Oh! My-! Nobody brings up my time in the Order of the Quill!

Scribe Seal Speaking
Oh yeah? What you gonna do about it?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
I'm gonna find you. Then I'm gonna melt you into plasma, find a Microtech pneumatic plasma cartridge reaction press, recycle your melted corpse into ammo, and shoot you even further away.

Scribe Seal Speaking
When you put me in your cartridge chamber, are your gonna press your fingers down on the plasma condenser switches so I don't go off without warning?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Yes. I'm also going to amplify the wattage of the secondary overcharge containment tanks so that it gets unbearably hot if you're within two feet of me before I pull the trigger.

Scribe Seal Speaking
That way, when I finally release, I shoot out with enough power?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
I'll also open the lower receiver vents so that you have a chance to cool down and recharge just enough before I make you fire again.

Scribe Seal Speaking
You'll probably need a barrel mod of water or liquid nitrogen so I can be ready for round two quicker?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
No need. After the amount of plasma discharge I get from the first shot, the heat dissipaters will channel the chemical exhaust out the ejection hatch. If you aren't ready to fire again, I can always manually blow on the barrel to help finish off your cartridge.

Scribe Seal Speaking
…

*Audible sounds of Scribe Seal's heartbeat*

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Take your robes off. Now.

Scribe Seal Speaking
Yes ma'am.

*Frantic shuffling sounds*

*Door opens then closes*

Unknown Voice Speaking
Did you get tha- AHH! What are you doing!?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Paladin Bael!? F-!

Paladin "Bael" Speaking
AHH! What the Hell, Yearling!?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Paladin, I was just-

Paladin Bael Speaking
Just- You know-?... I don't wanna hear it! Cover up, finish that doc transfer, and meet me in B Ring. I'm gonna have some words with you about… This!?

*Door opens then closes*

Scribe Seal Speaking
Oh look, it's done.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Hurry up and generate that code.

Scribe Seal Speaking
Generating. That was pretty intense, huh?... We'll have to finish that next time.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Not a chance. You aren't really my type.

Scribe Seal Speaking
Really? Present circumstances would say otherwise.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Yeah, until I saw under those robes… You should bulk up a bit more.

Scribe Seal Speaking
Whatever… I don't need to bulk up for some chick over three thousand miles away, I'm perfect… This fucking thing's slow today.

Scribe Yearling Speaking
I bet you're pretty lonely. Not a lot of friends?

Scribe Seal Speaking
I'm not lonely. I got Scribe Klifton on your end. I also got my buddy, Paladin Bowen… Here we go. You ready for the code? Ok, that'll be 9-0-3-3-4-3-0-0-0-9-2-4-5-1

Scribe Yearling Speaking
…4-5-1. Done.

Scribe Seal Speaking
Aaand Received. This is a big one. Thanks for that, Scribe. And thank you even more for that... Show? Anything else to report?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
Nope. Are we done here?

Scribe Seal Speaking
Why so eager to leave, Gorgeous?

Scribe Yearling Speaking
I'm in a bunch of trouble now with my Paladin because of you.

Scribe Seal Speaking
This was my fault!?... Yeah, we're don-

Scribe Yearling Speaking
EC-CTDL SATCOMM Sector, signing off.

Scribe Seal Speaking
See ya rou-

[EC-CTDL SATCOMM Sector connection terminated]

Scribe Seal Speaking
That was sorta rude… "My fault?" Hmmph… Women, man. I don't understand them… Shit, my end's still recording… Maybe I should start working out with Paladin Bowen?... At least I know I still got the charm, Ha!-

[WC-LH SATCOMM Sector connection terminated]

[Transcription ended]

Legacy: Senior Scribe Eva Yearling continues to serve and research with distinction. Even despite her reprimand for the unprofessional incident, Scribe Eva Yearling (At the time) proved more than valuable in the years post reintegration to become a Senior Scribe. Let her entry be a reminder to all members that indulging in primal urges is not the proper way to combat boredom during command sanctioned long range SATCOMM data transmissions. Although, her legacy should also remind our brothers and sisters that even reprimands can be overcome and serve as a stepping stone on the way to greater service.

[NEXT ENTRY]

*Couldn't find Scribe Yearling's first name, so I chose a random one from my list*

*They were talking about plasma weaponry. Promise.*