Kurt was proud of himself. A full month since he was released from Harding and he was doing very well. He still had panic attacks, but they were manageable. He was liberal with his inhaler and he felt it was going well. The panic attacks were usually brought on by locker shoves. Finn did his best to stick close to Kurt as much as possible through the halls. They both knew that wasn't a permanent solution, but until he had real, solid control Kurt wouldn't fight it.
He still went for therapy three days a week. He did worry about this being a drag on his family…a 45-minute drive there and back for an hour-long session…but his parents insisted that they didn't mind in the least, and Grandma Lorrie stepped in about once a week to help with the transportation. Kurt looked forward to getting his license in the summer so he could drive himself to Bellefontaine and back. He mentioned to his parents that they could find a local psychiatrist, but they insisted that he had been with Dr. Wheeler since he was 9 and had a good relationship with her, they didn't want him to have to start over with someone else. Truthfully, he was glad they felt that way. He didn't trust easily and he liked his psychiatrist.
EMDR seemed to be making a huge difference with his PTSD. He was also working hard on his emotional control, which wasn't going quite as well. He had a handle on it for the most part, but when emotions got too big, the way he expressed them was a little too extreme.
His parents were officially adopting his sister, and they were going to be official, legal siblings once again. He wouldn't have to live without her anymore. He wouldn't have to ever again wonder where she was, if she had a good life or if she was loved.
He struggled with her consideration of adoption; he struggled deeply. Like his sister, he had grown up with no biological connections. He wanted to support her decision, but losing a part of the sister he just found was harder than he'd anticipated. But he understood her reasons. He understood that, at 15, she didn't feel ready to be a mother and she felt that her baby deserved a family who was ready for her.
For the most part, though Lucy was sad about the baby often, the twins were becoming closer and closer every day. Kurt didn't like having to hide the truth, to keep his distance at school (though as they lived together, their closeness was easily explained without the truth coming out). He understood why Lucy wasn't ready to announce it to the world, but he was ready and he couldn't deny that it was hard to keep it in.
Since joining the Cheerios, even the bullying died down. Sure, he was busier than ever with therapy three times a week and Cheerios practice twice a week, but he liked being busy. Being busy had always been good for his mental health.
Kurt had missed being in the spotlight since transferring to McKinley. He loved Glee Club, but all of the solos went to Rachel and Finn. And he definitely wasn't used to sharing the performing spotlight with his jock brother. He tried to take it in stride. He knew he didn't have the voice Finn did for a male lead, and his brother had given up a lot for Kurt over the years. Finn also didn't ask for this, so Kurt let it go and didn't push it. But when the opportunity to perform on the Cheerios came across, he wasn't going to dismiss it.
XXX
"Kurt! You cannot go to school like that!" Finn admonished his brother. "You'll be eaten alive!"
"It's Gaga week, Finn. This is how I'm choosing to express myself," Kurt replied, going back to his omelet.
Quinn chose that moment to exit her bedroom dressed in an extremely weird bright pink dress with…what were those? Metal rings?
"Looking good, Goose!" Kurt exclaimed, adopting the nickname he'd had for his sister when they were preschoolers…the one that he only adopted in the privacy of the house. They high fived as she made her way to the cupboard for a box of cereal.
Finn slumped in his chair. Today was going to be a nightmare.
Finn thought he was a pretty good brother. Barring the dumpster incident at the beginning of the year (which he knew was totally wrong) he had always stuck up for his brother. He felt like he forgave Quinn in record time even though what she had done was pretty bad because he actually did understand. He'd grown up with kids who had been in the system. He knew the impact trauma had on a person. He'd come to think of Quinn as a sister and even love her. Not in the same way he used to, but as a sibling. The change in Quinn from before her parents kicked her out to now was like…night and day. She was a totally different person, and he actually really liked the real Quinn. He had been afraid that when Kurt came home, he would forget about Finn now that his sister was back. Finn confessed this fear to Kurt and Kurt assured him that he would never forget about Finn. And he didn't. Finding his twin after 10 years hadn't erased the relationship he and Kurt had built over the last six, and Finn was grateful for it. Because he loved his brother, deeply. He was closer to Kurt than he was to anyone else, bar none.
But Finn also thought Kurt was setting himself up for bullying by wearing a blue leather dress with weird pointy shoulders, leggings, platform shoes, and a white wig to school, and that wasn't something even Finn could save him from. And Finn was incredibly annoyed with Mr. Schuester for thinking this was a good idea. Kurt really didn't know what was good for him sometimes.
The day went about as expected. Finn tried to stand up for Kurt, but there truly was only so much he could do when the kid wore a blue leather dress to school. He expressed as much to Kurt and Quinn that night at home, which only resulted in Kurt totally losing his temper and Burt taking him up to his room to cool down. Finn plopped down next to Quinn on the couch and put his head in his hands.
"He's got a flare for the dramatics," Quinn joked. "For the record, I do get where you're coming from. Kurt has it a lot worse than most of the rest of us. And he does make himself a target. It worries me, too."
"No, Kurt's just been through a lot. He's had no control over most of his life, and the way he dresses is one of the few things he can control," he defended Kurt, repeating what his mother had told him all those months ago. "I used to wish he'd just lie low and try to blend in, both for his protection and my reputation. I used to think I had given up a lot for him, and he owed it to me to make my life easier. That's what all that was at the beginning of the year, remember?" She nodded. "But I was wrong. Kurt is the best part of my life. I don't know who I'd be if he wasn't my brother. He made me who I am. If I asked him to give up the parts of him that make him, him…he wouldn't be the brother I love. I love his passion. He's so dramatic, but he's got this amazing ability to cheer you up when your down. He's super smart and a really good tutor, and he is really, really good at giving advice." As he was talking, Finn realized that he'd just talked himself out of trying to convince Kurt not to wear the blue dress tomorrow. And if he wasn't going to try and stop Kurt from wearing the blue dress…maybe he'd just have to join Kurt. To keep him safe.
"I'm really glad you're his brother," Quinn said. "I love him. I've missed him and I'm so glad that I'm back in his life. I resented you at first. I resented that you weren't even a "real" brother and he loved you more than me. But I didn't realize how much shit he'd been through. And you are just as much his brother as I am his sister. I had him for 5 years, you've had him for 6, so we're just about even. And I'm glad you're my brother, too." She nudged him with her shoulder, and he put his arm around her in a side-hug.
"Oh!" Quinn exclaimed, putting a hand on her belly.
"What! Is she OK? Should I get mom?" Finn was already starting to get up.
"No, no, Finn. She's fine. Here." She grabbed Finn's hand and placed it on her belly. "See? She's just active. She kicked my rib, it startled me. That's all."
Finn was mesmerized. He'd felt Emily in his mom's stomach, but not very often. His mom said she preferred to kick the inside.
"That's so cool," he whispered. "Does it hurt?"
"No, it just feels weird. Sometimes it hurts. She got a foot caught in my rib the other day. That hurt. But right now, it just feels odd."
"Hi little girl!" Finn said, leaning close to talk to her stomach. "I'm your Uncle Finn! I can't wait to meet you." He looked at Quinn. "Will I get to meet her?" he asked timidly.
"I'll make sure you do. No matter what I decide."
XXX
"Hey, Mom?" Finn shouted as he entered the house after school the next day. Kurt was at cheerleading practice and Burt had taken Quinn to therapy, so it was just him, his mom, and Emily. He kicked off his shoes, dropped his backpack on the floor, and shrugged out of his coat, dropping that on the floor, too.
"Mom!" he shouted again, very loudly.
"Do you really have to shout like that? I'm right in the next room!" Carole asked, entering the mudroom. "And don't you leave your stuff there. Put it away. What do you need?" Emily rushed in after her mother and hugged Finn around the leg.
Finn did as he was told and put his things away, then lifted his sister into his arms.
"I need your help. It's Gaga week and I need you to help me make a costume."
As there was no Glee that day, the kids didn't wear their costumes. But tomorrow was Friday and if Kurt and Quinn were wearing Gaga, so would Finn.
"What did you have in mind?" Carole asked with interest.
"Well, you know that red shower curtain you hate?" Carole nodded. "Can you turn it into a dress?"
"A dress? For who?"
"Me."
"And you're going to wear it to school tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Alrighty then," Carole answered. She had learned over the years not to question certain ideas. If it wasn't going to hurt anyone, let it be.
XXX
That Sunday brought Quinn with Burt and Carole back to the adoption agency. Quinn talked at length about it with her parents, and she decided she'd like to meet the single mom whose book she looked at. She taught a Glee club, loved music, and Quinn felt that connection with her.
She told Puck the previous week that she wanted to meet with a family. The conversation didn't go well, she remembered.
"So do you want to come?"
"You've decided? This is what you're doing?"
"No. But I am trying to explore all options. We're 15, Puck. Do you really think you're ready to be a father?"
"No, I don't. I know I'm not. I know you want to adopt her out and that's fine, you meet with this lady." He seemed angry.
"So that's it? All on me? Do you want to parent alone? Because if I kept her, I feel like that's what I'd be doing, Puck."
"No, I wouldn't! But at least I could be a part of her life."
"A part of her life? Or taking care of her night and day? There's a difference, Puck! You don't want to be a full-time dad, but you expect me to be a full-time mom just so you can come around when you want! And when I want to think about adoption, it's suddenly all on me! You said you would support me and be there for her, no matter what! You're such a hypocrite!" She was crying, and they were drawing attention. This was not a conversation meant for crowded school hallways.
"You want to meet with this lady. Do it. I'm not going."
"Hey, what's wrong?" Finn was there; he put his hand on her shoulder.
"Nothing, let's go," she grabbed his arm, linked her elbow into his and the two stalked off.
Shelby seemed very nice. Quinn was extremely timid at first and let conversation flow between Shelby, her parents, and the social worker, but eventually her Carole gently reminded her that this was her time to get to know Shelby.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just really nervous."
"I understand that, Quinn. You know, when I was just a few years older than you, I also had a baby I couldn't keep. I understand how difficult this is for you."
"I just…I don't want her to think I abandoned her. I…" Quinn paused, but Shelby had shared something deeply personal, so Quinn felt like she could continue. She wanted Shelby to know what was on her heart. "I know what it's like to never know anything about where you come from, or who your birth family is. I know what it's like to not have any information about anything, to have no connection with any blood family. I don't want that for her. That's why if I do this, I want it to be an open adoption. Your book said you would do that."
"Yes, I am willing to have an open adoption if that's what you want. You can see her sometimes; I'll share pictures as much as you want. She will know who you are. And I want you to know that if you decide you want me to adopt her, I will make sure she always knows how much you love her."
The rest of the meeting was spent on much more lighthearted topics. Quinn wanted to know what Shelby liked to do, what kinds of vacations she enjoyed, some of the experiences she wanted to share with a child. They talked a lot about their shared love of music and some of their favorite musicals and artists. The topic of show choir came up, and Quinn found out that Shelby was a show choir coach, and it came out that she was Rachel's birth mom. Quinn was a little weirded out by that, but she really did like Shelby.
"So what did you think?" Quinn asked her parents on the drive back home.
"I thought she was very nice. But it's really what you think that's important, Quinn," came Carole's response.
"I liked her. But…I don't know. I really just need more time to think on this."
Sleep did not come easily for Quinn that night. She thought over every possible solution for her situation a dozen times. What parenting would mean, what her future would look like if she became a parent at 15, what her child's future would look like if Quinn was her mom, what her child's future would look like if Shelby was her mom, how much Puck would help in any of this, at all (which she didn't have high hopes for). Eventually she fell into a fitful sleep, where her dreams were plagued by horrible adoption nightmares.
The entirety of Quinn's therapy session a few days later was focused on Shelby and the adoption, and her issues with Puck. Quinn was feeling a lot better about her options the more she thought about it, but she still wasn't sure what she wanted to do. She knew she should try to talk to Puck about it some more, but didn't really feel like the conversation would get her anywhere. He was being so incredibly childish and ridiculous lately, not really offering to help her in any way, and focusing on all the other girls in school that she didn't feel like she owed him much. Sure, he was the father, but she was in this alone. No, not alone anymore; she had her new parents and brothers. And with them, she knew that whatever decision she made about the baby, she could get through it.
They got the court appearance paperwork in the mail the following week. Quinn picked it up as she got the mail on her way in from school. She glanced through it…mostly bills, an invitation to a bridal shower, and…
"Hummel Lube and Tires, this is Burt"
"Burt?"
"Quinn? Honey what's wrong?"
"Nothing. It's just…well Carole is assisting with a surgery and we got a letter from the court…"
"Did you open it?"
"No… I was too afraid to. What if the petition was denied?"
"There's no reason for it to be denied, Quinnie. Look…I'm leaving now, the guys can close up. We'll open it together, alright?"
XXX
"They accepted it!" She leapt into Burt's arms, who caught her effortlessly.
"You're alright with the date then?"
"Yes! I wish it were a little sooner, though. I really wanted to be an official Hummel before she arrives."
"You might still, it's two weeks before your due date. And I want it, too, Honey. We all do," he assured her.
That night at dinner, Quinn handed Carole the letter from court nonchalantly. Carole was distracted because Emily had just dumped her second cup of milk.
"What's this, Quinnie? No, Em. If you can't drink nicely, you are going to use a sippy cup. You can't just dump it."
"No tippy! Big girl!"
"You can try again tomorrow. No more big girl cup today." Emily threw her fork, then threw her plate on the ground in a tantrum. Knowing Quinn was excited to show Carole and the boys and not wanting the toddler to spoil her joy, Burt lifted Emily out of her high chair and led her to the living room for a quick time-out.
"Alright, sorry. What's this?" Carole sat back down, looking at the paper Quinn had handed her.
"March 29! That's just a few weeks! Oh, Quinn, c'mere," she exclaimed, pulling her soon-to-be daughter into her arms. "I'm so glad I get to be your mom," she told her, tears running down her face.
Kurt, unable to contain his excitement, bounced over to his mom and sister and wrapped his arms around both of them. Finn shortly joined in. Burt re-entered the kitchen several moments later, a now repentant Emily in tow.
"Are we missing a family hug?" he asked, lifting the toddler and joining in. Quinn laughed, and they broke apart. Burt pulled Quinn closer.
"We love you, so much. You know that?" he asked, kissing the side of her head.
"Love you, too," she responded. Emily reached from her father to her sister, giving her an extremely slobbery kiss on the cheek. "And I love you, Emmy," she said, laughing. Casual touch, random hugs and kisses, lots of random professions of love, comfortable joking, easy sharing of emotions…they were all things she was still getting used to, but she knew that she'd never want to go without those things again.
XXX
"I think I want to do it," Quinn told her parents that night as they sat watching TV.
"What's that, honey?" Carole asked.
"Give her to Shelby. I think I want to do the adoption."
The three talked at length about it. Quinn wasn't sure of anything, really, but she did believe that this was best for her, and for her daughter. She knew she wasn't ready to be a mom, and her baby deserved someone who was ready for her. Quinn was emotional about the decision on and off, but she did her best to focus on Glee, her brother, and her own adoption, and soak up the moments of feeling the closeness she currently felt with her baby.
XXX
"So, what do you want your new name to be?" Rebecca Kay asked as she sat across the desk between her parents two weeks before the adoption date. They had just finished a final private meeting between Quinn and Rebecca, and Quinn asked that Burt and Carole be present for the rest of it.
"Well…Hummel," Quinn responded a little taken aback. She thought the Hummel part went without saying. "I definitely want to drop Fabray as soon as possible."
Rebecca smiled. "Absolutely," she said, making a note on the paper.
"Wait," Quinn stopped her. "Do you mean…can I change any other part of my name?"
"Yes, if you want to. Now is a great time, you'll be getting a new birth certificate and everything anyway, so it won't be any more work to change it," Rebecca told her. "Are you thinking about changing your name?"
"Well…I don't even know what my real middle name is…" Quinn stated. She had never thought to ask.
"It's Elizabeth," Carole told her. "Same as your mom's." As always, Quinn was momentarily taken aback when she learned something new about who she was, but she let it pass.
"Did Kurt change his name?"
"We left that up to him. He chose to add Jackson as a second middle name, and took our last name."
"I think…" Quinn looked back at Rebecca, hesitating. "Can I be Lucy again?"
All three adults looked startled. "Are you sure that's what you want, honey?" Carole asked, putting a hand on Quinn's arm. "That's a huge decision, and once it's done it can't be easily undone. Changing your name…suddenly being Lucy again…it might be really hard for you with all the kids at school."
Quinn wiped the tears from her eyes. She hated how easily she cried these days.
"Look," Carole continued, "if this is what you want, we will absolutely support you. I just don't want you to make a decision like this without considering what the implications will be, alright? Why don't you think about it, talk it over with Amy, and decide then? I don't think you have to decide right now, right?" The final question was directed to Rebecca.
"No," Rebecca confirmed. "You can change your mind all the way up to the court hearing. Unless you're absolutely sure, I think taking some time is a good idea."
Quinn nodded. "I just…Quinn was the name they gave me. And they never really loved me. But my parents did, and I…" she paused, collecting her thoughts. "The person I was when I was Quinn Fabray isn't the real me. Quinn is who they made me be. The real me is Lucy. My real parents loved me, and I think I want to reclaim the name they gave me. I want to say goodbye to Russ and Judy. They ran 10 years of my life. I want my life to be…mine again."
Burt nodded his understanding, gently squeezing Quinn's knee. "Of course, we will support you in that," he told the girl he now considered his daughter. "How about this? We'll put your new name on the form now, but you really, really think about this over the next two weeks. Consider how things will change if you change your name. Talk it over in therapy. And if, on the adoption date, you decide to change your mind, do so. Alright?"
Quinn nodded with a small smile. She may not have thought about it much ahead of time, but this decision felt…right. But she would talk it over with Amy. And her brothers.
"Lucy Elizabeth Jackson Hummel," she told Rebecca. "That's what you should write on your paper."
XXX
Quinn and Kurt entered the house late one day the next week to hear yelling coming from the living room. They, along with Brittany, Mercedes and Santana spent a few hours hanging out at the Lima Bean.
"Dad, c'mon! A whole month? You already have me working at the garage all summer!"
"That isn't punishment. Those are natural consequences for slashing all of those tires that I now have to replace. You committed a crime, Finn! You were nearly expelled! If Ms. Corcoran chose to press charges, you'd be going to juvie! One month. No phone, no screen time, no going out or having friends over." Quinn had never heard Burt this angry.
"Slashed tires?" she mouthed to Kurt. He shrugged.
"Let's go around back," he told her under his breath, not really wanting to walk through the living room in the middle of…whatever this was.
"Did he really slash Ms. Corcoran's tires?" Quinn asked rhetorically. "That's so unlike him. And a little awkward."
"Because of the baby? Think that's why she's not pressing charges?"
"No idea." The two entered through the kitchen door and started emptying their backpacks onto the table to get started on their homework. Their parents were obviously in a bad mood, no sense in adding fuel to the fire. They were both a little perplexed. Finn was not the type to slash tires. If he was led into it by Puck, maybe. But it was just…so not Finn.
Emily ran into the kitchen ten minutes later, followed by Carole.
"Hi kids, how was school?" she asked as she made her way to the fridge to start preparing dinner.
"Fine." "Uneventful." Came the replies. Carole rolled her eyes at the typical teenage responses.
Emily, meanwhile, beelined for Quinn who lifted her and sat her awkwardly on her now minimal lap space.
"Tell baby move," demanded Emily, trying to find a comfortable spot without much luck.
XXX
The morning of March 29, Kurt and Finn sang "We Are Family" to her in Glee. The entire club was amazingly supportive of the adoption and excited for the Hummel family. She had still not announced that she would be changing her name. She told her brothers that she wanted to continue to be Quinn at school, but that they could start calling her Lucy in private. She would publicly make the switch over the summer. She had enough to focus on right now with the baby and the adoption. But in her heart, she was feeling less and less like Quinn and more and more like Lucy.
"I now pronounce you Lucy Elizabeth Jackson Hummel," the judge said from behind his stand. She found herself enveloped in a big hug from the five Hummel's standing behind her. She hugged them back. The family of six had their picture with the judge behind the stand, then went to Breadstix.
XXX
Lucy was not feeling well. She tried to push it aside. They were going on stage in five minutes, she couldn't back out. But the cramping in her stomach was getting intense.
"Are you OK?" Kurt asked his sister quietly as he noticed her wince and heavy breathing.
"I'm fine. She's just running out of room. It hurts when she moves." It wasn't a complete lie. It was true, actually, it just wasn't true at that moment. Kurt didn't look convinced. The pains were far apart, and Lucy thought she could make it through.
"I'll be fine, Kurt. We'll be done in 20 minutes, then I'll sit down."
"Are you sure, Luce? Maybe you should sit out…"
"No, Kurt. I'm fine. I want to do this."
And she did, for the first two songs. The pains got intense as the second song ended and she tried to discretely make her way off stage. As soon as she was out of sight she doubled over in pain. Kurt was on the other side of the stage and didn't notice. Finn did, though. He followed her quickly, but Mr. Schuester was already by her side.
"It's OK, Finn. You're almost done. Can you finish the number? I've got her," he assured his student.
"Are you OK?" Finn asked his sister.
"Yeah, go. It'll just be a few minutes."
So Finn jumped back on stage while Mr. Schue led Lucy to a nearby place to sit down. Just a few seconds later Burt and Carole were there.
"We saw you leave stage. Are you OK, sweetheart?" Carole asked, squatting by Lucy's side.
"It's time," Lucy said through a gasp.
"I'll go get the car to the front doors. As soon as the boys are off stage, meet me there," Burt told his wife who quickly agreed.
"Lu..Quinn," Kurt said as soon as the number was over and they were leaving stage. "Are you OK?"
"The baby's coming," Carole told him. "Dad went for the car, let's go. Finn, take her other arm." The four Hummel's made their way to the front doors.
"Quinnie," they heard from behind them, and turned around. Judy Fabray was standing there.
"I came to hear you sing," Lucy let out a pained gasp. "Are you OK?"
"Not the time, Judy," Carole said shortly, moving Lucy along.
"She's my daughter…"
"No! She's mine! You terminated your rights, remember? I adopted her last week, you need to get out of here. She doesn't need this right now.
"I left your father," she told Lucy, ignoring Carole. "Well I…I kicked him out, actually. Quinnie…I want you to come home with me. I can turn the guest room into a nursery."
Finn was about to turn around and do something drastic, but it was surprisingly Mercedes who stepped in.
"You have no idea how badly you hurt her! You need to get out of here. She's not your daughter anymore. She has a family and is happier than I've ever seen her."
In the back of her mind, Lucy was aware that somebody needed to tell Shelby, but she was in too much pain to bring it up. They made their way quickly to the hospital.
"Don't leave me!" Lucy had a death grip on Carole's wrist as the doctor wheeled her toward the delivery room.
"I'm not, honey. I'm not," Carole promised. "I'll be right here with you the whole time."
45 minutes later, Lucy held a beautiful baby girl in her arms. Her parents and brothers were gathered around her bed. Over the next hour, the baby was passed around to Carole, Burt, Finn and Kurt.
"Is Puck here?" she asked her mom.
"He's in the waiting room. Do you want to see him?" Lucy agreed, so Finn went to get him. He stayed for about an hour. He held the baby, but didn't say much to Lucy.
"Do you still want the adoption?" he asked after a while?
"Yes," she answered. "Do you?"
"Yes." He handed the baby back to her and left.
Shelby arrived a few hours after the baby's birth. They talked for a little while, then Lucy requested a few hours alone with her daughter. As everyone filed out, Lucy grabbed Kurt's arm.
"Stay," she requested. He obliged. Kurt climbed into the bed next to Lucy. She nursed the baby (Kurt averted his eyes), and they passed her back and forth. Carole came to check on them. She informed them that Burt had taken Finn home, and Shelby was waiting in the waiting room.
Lucy just couldn't hold it back anymore, and the tears started coming. And once they started, they didn't stop. She was mindful of the tiny baby in her arms, and refused to relinquish her, but allowed Carole's support as she took Kurt's spot on the bed.
"I don't know if I can do this," Lucy wailed. Carole just held her close, stroking her head, one hand on the baby in Lucy's arms.
Lucy didn't want to give the baby up that night, but kept her in her room. She knew right now, she hadn't signed anything. The baby was still hers. Once she signed the papers, she wouldn't be able to make that choice. She would be selfish with her time with the baby for as long as she was able. She did let Shelby spend time in her room later that evening, but didn't want the baby out of her sight.
The nurse came in to have Lucy fill out the birth certificate.
"I can name her?" Lucy asked. "But I'm not keeping her."
"You can put your name on the birth certificate, or the adoptive mother's. Once the adoption happens, her name may change…but for now, you can use whatever name you want," the nurse responded.
Lucy didn't know what to do. She didn't know if naming her baby would make it harder to let go. She didn't know who's name she should put down, and didn't know what Shelby planned on naming her.
"Can she do this tomorrow?" Carole asked. "I think she's overwhelmed."
"Of course," the nurse agreed, and started making her way out.
"No," Lucy stopped her. "No, I'm ready. I want to name her."
Lucy carefully wrote the name down in the correct boxes. Elizabeth Carole Hummel. Hummel, not Puckerman. She carried this baby for 9 months. She lovingly made the best decisions she could for her baby so she could have a good life. Puck ignored her, was mean to her, walked out on her. She loved her new last name and wanted her daughter to have it. Even if it was just for a little while.
Elizabeth Carole Hummel. It was a beautiful name. Elizabeth for her birth mother. Carole for her mom.
"Hi there, beautiful Beth," she crooned.
Carole suggested that she take Kurt home and let Lucy have some time alone with her baby, but Lucy begged her to stay. She didn't want to be alone. After Shelby went back to her room, Carole called Burt to come pick up Kurt. She would stay the night on the couch.
Lucy didn't sleep that night. She stayed up all night holding Beth. She took hundreds of pictures and videos. She talked to her, sang to her, told Beth her life story. She only got these moments with her precious daughter and she wanted to make the most of them. She knew Beth would never remember, but Lucy would.
The social worker from the adoption agency arrived the next morning and came to speak to Lucy privately before going to see Shelby.
"Alright, Lucy," she said, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. They had informed the social worker of the name change after the adoption. "These forms will allow the hospital to release the baby to Shelby."
"If I sign this form, that's it, then?" Lucy asked tearfully, holding her baby tighter in her arms.
"No. You'll need to sign the surrendering your rights after 72 hours. Until you sign them, you can change your mind if you want to," she told Lucy gently.
Lucy nodded, but ignored the offered pen, instead looking down at her beautiful baby. She rocked her side to side, ran a hand down her cheek. She lifted her close and kissed her tiny forehead.
"I love you, so much," she told her baby. Then she took the pen and signed the paper.
Shelby tried to come and see them, but Lucy chose not to let her in. She would hand her baby over when it was time, but until then she didn't want to think about Shelby or worry about her feelings.
Lucy was released from the hospital later that afternoon, arms empty, her mom by her side. She felt empty. Hollow. Her stomach was empty…but so were her arms.
She went right to her room when they got home, closed and locked the door. Then she lay on her bed and cried.
Thank you to the two who reviewed! Guest, unfortunately you would need an account to PM me ;) But I appreciate your feedback! Feedback is food...I would love to actually know if this story is worth my time to continue ;) Please review!