She didn't think it would escalate into this.
Darker colored dresses had done wonders in hiding her belly from wandering eyes behind the hands she often clasped in front of her as she stood, dismissing curious gazes thrown at her direction by clearing her throat as it had a certain effect of making people look back up to her face after they realized that it was improper for them to stare down the Queen's body from the beginning. Her ladies-in-waiting had known, it was impossible for her to lie to those who would see her without clothing on anyway, and had been sworn into silence or else they will face the consequences of spilling the Queen's secret.
Anna, without a single doubt, had also taken an interest in the changes that her older sister was going through -both physically and in the way she had acted as well, voicing her thoughts rather freely since she was the Princess, but she had been able to deflect them rather smoothly. Not to mention, this second pregnancy of hers had not been as apparent as the first, her belly had not grown as big -though the doctor had assured her that her child was healthy and that she had been eating enough, so the younger sister didn't exactly have much to question her with.
She thought that she would have this thing under control before it was obvious enough that she was expecting.
But the last letter that she had received had not been easy.
She was promised an answer in the letter before that one, and had breathed rather easily with the comforting thought that soon she would not have to be on the tips of her toes every single day, but it seemed that she had been mistaken -or cruelly deceived though she didn't wish to have such an ill thought, and she realized she was not as close as she believed she was in uncovering the truth.
The truth was to be given to her, but personally, face-to-face, with nothing between the two of them and no intruding ears to listen, not even her husband's, to avoid the chances of conflict merely because there was a misunderstanding should there be more than two people involved.
It was right there for her to grasp and uncover, just out of her reach, and if she backed out now then these past two weeks of working tirelessly with her own investigation would be in vain. She had to do it, whether she liked it or not.
But there was this thing with Hans.
She… had not exactly been honest with him regarding her 'extra work' that she had been doing, firstly because she knew he would not agree with the idea of her working herself too hardly and secondly because he had stated rather clearly that he would not agree to this whole correspondence that she had been involved in, so she had been working behind his back. And knowing her family, especially her younger sister, she knew that this behavior of hers would strongly deem wrong.
But the trip was not exactly quick, not with the calculation of time she would have to spend there discussing this whole mystery, and even with her intention to not waste even a single unnecessary second away from her kingdom it would still take her days to finish this.
Telling Hans that she was going was necessary.
"Why?" that had been his sole question when she had expressed her idea over to him, as he stood by the tall windows of the library. "Why Ahtohallan?"
"Because I might discover something there." At this point, even the smallest of clue or answer was needed for them. "I'm the Fifth Spirit, remember? I have a connection with Ahtohallan, it may be able to lead me into something, anything."
Hans' brows had furrowed while his arms remained crossed over his chest. "Why would Ahtohallan has any answer regarding an assassination attempt from a man we don't even know?"
"Because he was targeting me." As if it was not obvious enough for the two of them, or anyone in the kingdom for that matter. "Remember what I told you, about what I saw in Ahtohallan over a year ago? Everything that happened and have a certain connection to me was shown there, even my Grandfather and his plot against the Northuldra long before I was even conceived. Who knows, perhaps that man would be shown as well, and maybe I could find who had sent him."
Her argument made sense, she knew it was, if it could make the auburn-haired Prince stopped to consider it. "Why can't I come with you?" he asked, after a moment of silence had passed them. "And why would it take you so long to be away anyway? Why days?"
"Give me time." Yes, reaching Ahtohallan and then returning back would take up mostly just a day, but discovering the truth may take longer. "I will return as soon as I get something." Rising from the chair she had been sitting on, she approached him until she stood right in front him, hands coming up to cup his face. "And I need you to stay here in Arendelle, for our people and for Wilhelm, we can't both be absent. Besides, don't worry about me, darling, when I'm not in Ahtohallan I will be with the Northuldra, they will take care of me."
Hans had let out a breath, though the way his shoulders slumped as he unwind his arms, instead wrapping them around her waist, she knew she had him convinced. "A week, that is all I can allow you to have." He murmured, forehead coming to touch hers, noses brushing against one another. "More than that and I will come to get you home."
"Giving the Queen an ultimatum, aren't we?" she hummed.
"Telling my pregnant wife to be safe." He corrected, pulling her closer until their lips met. "You do know that I don't completely agree to this idea, right?"
Nodding, she let her arms to wrap around his neck, giving him a small smile in return. "I know."
Wilhelm cried.
In the early morning of her departure, as the royal family stood by the waters of the fjord, the young Prince had wailed as he clung to his Mother, fingers gripping against the thick coat that she wore over her travelling outfit so tightly she was a little skeptical that she would be able to pry those fingers off of her later. Despite the fact that she had explained to him of the reason of her departure, and how a short journey it was, the moment he had laid his eyes on how she was dressed had still upset him.
"Don't go," the auburn-haired boy whined, as she held him up in her arms, clenched hands covering his tightly shut eyes. "Don't go, Mama!"
"It won't be long," she promised, planting gentle kisses over his flushing cheeks. "I can't stand to be away from you either, my darling Prince." That was not a lie, the thought of having to be so far away from her son still gave her a certain discomfort, and it probably will not change no matter how many years would have passed later on when he had grown to be a fine young man.
Anna had stepped forward, hands reached out as she took over in holding her nephew -which surprisingly had moved into his aunt's arms without much protest, shifting her hold against him so that she could free one arm to embrace the older sister as well. "Send my love to the Northuldras."
Once she was satisfied with her parting hug, the Princess had stepped back, allowing some space for the Queen and her husband to speak more privately while she attempted to cheer the young Prince, wiping his face with her hand. Kristoff had gone up the North Mountain to harvest ice, as it was still his responsibility as Arendelle's official Ice Master, and while he was away, she had noticed the change in Anna's mood. She had looked rather… lonely.
"Are you sure this is safe?" Hans questioned, just as the Nokk had jumped out of the water by their side, scowling at the sudden appearance of the water spirit as the hands on her waist tightened their hold. "What about the—?"
"It's fine." She had cut him off before he had the chance to mention something they may regret. No matter how long time had passed between them, he seemed to never truly put his trust on the spirits of the Enchanted Forest, always had been so wary of them. "The Nokk will make sure to take it easy."
Still Hans' scowl remained on his face, though there was nothing else that he could do as he let her slipped out of his grasp. Instead, he offered his help as she climbed onto the horse's back, making sure that she was sitting properly and that she would not slip off -the latter had received the roll of her eyes as it was not the first time that she had ridden the Nokk.
"Wilhelm," she called out, one more time at her teary-eyed son, smiling reassuringly at him. "Be a good boy while Mama is away, alright?"
Sniffling, the boy had nodded, putting on a brave face even when she knew deep down, he was still reluctant in letting go. "Okay."
Leaning down, for the last time until she would return, she gave Hans a quick kiss against his lips. "I will see you when I see you."
"Take care."
Nodding, she had taken a deep breath before she urged the water spirit forward, looking over her shoulder one last time at her family as the Nokk galloped across the blue waters, wind blowing against her face as they gradually gained speed, leaving Arendelle behind them.
"Nokk," her kingdom was nothing but a mere dot now, with the large vast sea standing between them. "You know we are not going to Ahtohallan, right?"
She had to. No matter how much she hated it, to put her family through another of her lie that she knew may only make things worse between them, she had no other choice. Telling the truth would not grant her Hans' blessing to go, and then everything would not get better, she would live her life with the same gnawing feeling that something was not right and that she could not do anything about it. She couldn't do that.
The water spirit had snorted in respond, as if knowing but at the same time did not agree with her request, looking back at her with narrowed eyes.
"Don't give me that look."
The spirit had taken the form of her husband once, back when he was saving her shortly after she had unfrozen, but already she felt as if she was being scolded by Hans himself. But she was not going to back away from her plan just because the water spirit disagreed with her choices.
Her hand reached forward to rest against the neck of the stallion, giving him a reassuring nod. "Trust me."
The small town was bustling with activity.
She had pulled the hood of her coat higher over herself as the sun had set behind her, concealing the platinum blonde hair of hers from standing in stark contrast amongst the people, face hidden underneath the shadow that it casted. She was assured that this town had not been familiar with Arendelle, or the magical Queen that ruled over it, yet still she would rather be safe than sorry, and the rare color of her hair itself was already a welcoming beacon for people to cast their eyes over her in sheer curiosity. And if someone was to recognize her…
Still, she supposed she was standing like a sore thumb, with her choice in keeping her coat on despite the scorching heat of the summer season, but it had done a marvelous job in hiding her belly, even if it was not that pronounced, and she would much preferred to keep it to herself just as much as she had been keeping it from basically anyone else other than her husband.
The Nokk had dropped her off at a small remote bay, out of sight of prying eyes that would raise questions over seeing a woman riding on a horse made entirely out of water, though not without another snort of disagreement, which she had waved off as the spirit eventually melted back into the water, leaving her.
Honestly, she was feeling rather nervous as she made her way toward the plaza, smoothing down the non-existent crease on her coat. She had never been traveling outside of Arendelle all alone, there was always Hans by her side, with Anna tagging along during certain occasions, and guards were always at ready to defend her from possible assault. This time, she was posing as nothing but a common woman with no royal title following her, but even if she was to come as Queen -should it was so desperately needed, then at least a common Queen instead of the one with magic pulsing through her veins.
Lowering herself to sit at the round fountain, where she was instructed to wait, she let her eyes wandered toward the town's children, watching as they played with one another, laughing as they dodged around the working grown-ups.
Her eyes did catch the sight of a young boy with red hair chasing over a ball as a group of another handful boys followed suit, and her mouth moved to call out for him, though she had thankfully catch herself just as the boy turned around, dark eyes making her cast her gaze away. No, he was not her son, of course not, why on earth did she expect to see him in this town of Hølen, when all she wanted was for him to remain safe and sound back home?
The sight did make her wonder of a life outside the crown, where she and Hans were nothing but commoners, living in a small town such as this, leading a peaceful and quiet life, one where he would work as perhaps a fisherman while she remained a housewife, coming to town to shop for supplies and groceries as she planned on what to make for dinner, bringing along her children and have them playing with the others.
A mere dream, but it was good enough to last.
"Queen Elsa,"
Her shoulders tensed up at the sudden call behind her back, as she had been distracted enough not to pay attention to her surrounding, but she had gathered herself rather quickly as she rose back to her feet, turning around to face the tall regal woman who had called her by her name and title.
"Duchess Atalie. I hope your travels from Weselton were well."
Despite Hans' words of his reluctance over the idea, she had reached out to the older woman now standing before her, clad in a dark grey dress that was far too regal to blend well with their surroundings, already drawing attention of the folks that passed them, though it seemed that the attention did not bother her to the slightest as stormy grey eyes focused only on the Queen before her.
The corners of her lips tugged into a smile that reached her eyes, yet there was something about her that had sent a shiver down her spine. "Ah, it was to be expected. Long, but nothing extraordinary." She dismissed casually, as if it was not unusual of her to travel so far just to meet one person. "How about you? How did your husband take it, with you traveling alone?"
"He's… fine." As far as he knew she was safely up in Ahtohallan, using her connection with the ancient river that held all the answers of the past and what they were a part of to find answers instead of meeting this woman she had been corresponding with for the last few weeks. "Duchess Atalie, I do not wish to sound rude but could we please start discussing the pressing matter at hand?"
"Why of course, I can only imagine your desire to return back to your kingdom as soon as possible, yes?" she gestured for her to follow, trailing behind her as they made their way toward the tavern nearby. "I've heard of words regarding your son, the Prince of Arendelle, none is ill-mannered, of course." The atmosphere inside were even warmer, stifling even, and she had let her hood down this time, deeming it unnecessary to put up to hide her hair, now that she was walking with a woman who flaunted her golden headpiece laden with what appeared to be actual rubies on top of her reddish hair. "Wonderful young lad, isn't he?"
"Yes, yes he is." She did not feel comfortable in discussing her young son with someone that she had only met minutes ago, even the fact that she had brought up Wilhelm as a subject of discussion was already unsettling. But she must put on a good face if she wished to avoid any strain later on. "He takes up after his Father."
"More than his Mother?" Duchess Atalie tilted her head, taking a seat in a booth at a faraway corner, away from most of the patrons, blanketed under the shadow to perhaps give them some sort of privacy. "I can hardly believe that."
"You have a daughter yourself, yes?"
The woman's eyebrow rose at the shift of the focus, though she had offered another smile at the younger woman sitting across from her. "Sofia, yes. Much older than your son, and she takes more after me, thankfully enough." Her hand raised, and only a moment after did a gruff-looking man appeared, with build almost as large as Kristoff -if not the same. Atalie's eyes gaze back to her, the color of them so light that it had now reflected the warm orange color of the tavern, making it almost like her eyes were fiery. "Would you like anything to drink or eat? Surely, for someone who had only just arrived, you would need something."
"Just water, thank you."
Nodding, the woman turned back toward the man, delivering the order of a glass of water and then red wine, and the man had only huffed as he left with their orders. "I would recommend you try the duck, if you decide to stay a little longer." The suggestion did raise her curiosity, as she had not expected for the Duchess to be able to recommend anything from the town. Yet, as if sensing her curiosity, the woman had only chuckled. "I've come here before, for trades. Please excuse me, sometimes I tend to forget that my acquaintance may not have shared the same traveling experience as I did."
But she didn't want ducks, if she could manage it then even if they were finished by midnight then she would return back to Arendelle right then. It was not that she didn't find the town beautiful, it really was, and there was a certain wonder within her that wished she could see it in daylight, but she wanted to get this thing as soon as possible because she so desperately wanted to tell Anna about her pregnancy, wanted to arrange for her sister's wedding with her fiancé, wanted to go back to her husband and son.
"Duchess Atalie—"
"Yes, yes, the assassin." The older woman nodded, perhaps a little irked by her impatience, though she had not expressed it. "I feel terrible when I heard of what happened during your sister's engagement ceremony, I really am, and I'm glad that you have reached out to me regarding it or else I wouldn't know how I should contact you."
"He has a gun, it is quite rare for someone in Arendelle to have one, so he would have to acquire it from somewhere else." Even the royal guards were still getting customized in using the firearms imported to Arendelle for testing. "And there is this thing that he brought with him, a poison of sort, hidden well enough that the guards had not been able to find it before they put him behind bars."
Duchess Atalie listened closely to what she was saying, eyes always on focus though it almost felt like she was also studying her above all else. "And you fear that someone may have sent him, yes?"
Her head nodded in agreement. "He was not a professional, but having those two things on him could not mean that he was a random ordinary killer."
The same man had returned, bringing their two drinks, and she had paused in her words as he placed the glass of water in front of her -then the goblet of wine across, and already the smell of alcohol made her uneasy. Her nose was always particularly sensitive over the smell, especially during pregnancy, and her stomach twisted.
She didn't think Atalie would take notice of her shift while she had thanked the man, but it seemed that nothing could escape her sharp gaze. "Are you alright, Queen Elsa?"
"Yes, I'm quite alright."
"Not a fan of alcohol?"
Her fingers curled around the glass, lifting it up. "Oh, there were days." Gulping down the clear water, she let the refreshing beverage to cleanse her throat and her thirst. "As I was saying-" something itched in her throat, forcing her to try and clear it, but to no avail.
"You were saying, Queen Elsa?"
But she couldn't find her voice, couldn't even focus properly as her vision started to blur, her body feeling like something had weighted her down as the itch in her throat had turned into the last thing that she had worried about.
"Queen Elsa, are you sure you're feeling quite alright?"
No, she was not. She was far from being alright. She wanted to ask for help, any sort of assistance really, because she could feel how she slowly lose herself, her muscles refusing to move, her mind muddled and bleak while she could not even feel the sensation of the wooden table under her touch.
"You look quite pale there, Your Majesty, perhaps you would like to lie down for a little bit?"
Lying down sounded so pleasant right now, just to let go, to stop pushing through this heavy feeling that had suddenly plagued her. But deep down, at the back of her mind, her voice of reason had told her not to, that she had to focus and keep her eyes opened.
Alas, it was not strong enough against the darkness that engulfed her.