Chapter 31
"Oh! Mr. Luthor and Diana!" Tess said with pleasure as the couple walked into Lex's outer office promptly at nine a.m., having taken the private elevator down from their penthouse to Lex's inner office suite.
"Good morning, Tess," Lex said cheerfully to his secretary extraordinaire, with his arm slung around Diana's waist.
"Good morning," Diana echoed, smiling warmly at Eve Teschmacher, who had no idea that she was about to become their wedding planner.
"It's so nice to see you, Diana!" Tess was beaming. "It seems like most mornings you fly right off to work from the penthouse balcony," she giggled.
Diana, smiling even deeper, glanced at Lex.
"Well, it just so happens that we both needed to talk to you this morning," Diana said slowly with a growing sparkle in her eyes.
"In that case, I am all ears," Tess said eagerly, grabbing a pen and pad from her desk. "In your private office, Mr. Luthor?" she asked her boss expectantly.
"Yes, please," Lex said, smiling graciously as he held the door open for the ladies to precede him into the suite.
"Would you like a hot chocolate, Tess?" Lex asked her as the trio walked over to the windowed corner seating area with the stunning view of Metropolis down below.
"Well, I shouldn't," Tess murmured, slimming her hands over her hips to measure their width before sitting down. "But, I suppose one cup wouldn't hurt," she said with a resigned smile as she sat catty-corner to Diana on the smaller black leather loveseat, leaving the seat next to Diana on the couch for Lex.
"I usually only drink black coffee," Tess confided to Diana as Lex walked over to the Keurig machine to make his secretary's drink, "but Axel let it slip to Lex one day how much I like hot chocolate as a special treat on holidays - you can buy sugar free powder, you know?"
Diana did not know, but she nodded politely.
"And ever since then," Tess sighed, "Lex keeps it stocked in here - the real kind, full sugar!" Tess moaned. "And he's always trying to pour it down my throat."
"He's such a villain," Diana said with twinkling eyes, which caught Lex's and prompted a coughing fit of laughter from her fiancé, masked by the whirring and grinding of the Keurig which was busily preparing Tess's temptation.
"Tess deserves the best," Lex said with a smile, rejoining the group and handing Tess her drink in a beautiful detailed china tea cup which appeared to be hand-painted, trimmed with real gold leaf and, knowing Lex, was probably two hundred years old and worth a fortune.
"Axel agrees with me," Lex added with a smirk, referencing his secretary's husband. "Why do you think he told me about the hot chocolate?" he asked her with a playful smile.
"Oh, you men," Tess fussed, but Diana could see that she looked pleased at their caring attention, despite her bluster. And that she had not, in fact, said no to the hot chocolate and was dreamily inhaling its aroma.
"Now!" Tess said briskly after taking her first sip and carefully setting the delicate cup down.
She picked up her pen and pad to get down to business.
"What problem can Eve Teschmacher solve for you today?" she beamed at the couple.
"Diana and I have decided to get married on Friday," Lex announced, with unmasked pride and happiness shining through his voice as the hand that he had slipped around Diana's waist tightened imperceptibly.
"Oh, my gracious!" Tess exclaimed, dropping her pen in her shock. "Friday?" she said. "This Friday?" she clarified, looking at the two of them in a daze.
"Yes," Diana smiled. "We know it's short notice, but, well, we don't want to wait."
"It's sort of an elopement," Lex said cautiously, "so we don't want to share it with the press -"
"- of course not," Tess murmured, nodding vigorously,
"- but we want our closest friends to attend so we do want to put together a reception, and get Diana a dress, of course, and flowers, and all that," Lex said. "Which is where you come in, dear Tess."
He smiled at his secretary with both affection and a calm confidence in her competence, which seemed to bolster Ms. Teschmacher's spirits, because the woman sat up straighter, picked up her pen, let out a deep breath, and gave a sharp nod.
"Of course, sir," she said briskly. "I shall handle everything," she promised.
"I want you to clear my schedule for this week and next," Lex said, "as the first order of business, and poach however many assistants you want from other floors to help you."
"Yes, sir," Tess nodded, scribbling more notes than words that Lex had uttered, Diana was amused to notice.
"We'll go over our ideas for the wedding with you now," Lex said, "so you have a starting point, and then we'll both be available to you for fittings and tastings and whatever else you might need for the rest of the week."
"So exciting!" Tess murmured distractedly. "You must be absolutely thrilled," she said to Diana, raising her eyes to meet the Amazon's.
"I am," Diana affirmed, looking up to Lex, who leaned his head in to kiss her right in front of Tess, making the secretary laugh with delight.
"Oh, you are just as in love as me and Axel were right before our wedding," she said fondly. "Do you remember, sir?" she asked Lex. "He was always popping up here for no reason at all except to kiss me," Tess sighed happily.
"And to whisper secrets in my ear about hot chocolate," Lex added with a laugh.
"That, too," Tess giggled.
"Do you have a wedding album?" Diana suddenly asked her, on an inspiration. "I'd love to look at it with you tomorrow. Maybe I could get some ideas from it," she said, but she also thought that it would be a fantastic way to bond with the single most important person in Lex's life, aside from herself.
"Oh, I'd love that!" Tess said happily. "Yes, I'll bring it to work tomorrow," she said, scratching more notes on her pad. "Of course, we have the photos online, too, but that's just not the same, is it, as a book you can flip through together."
"It's not," Diana agreed.
"I wonder, actually," Diana said slowly as an idea came to her, "if Clark's friend Jimmy might possibly be willing to take our wedding photos for us if he's available," she said to Lex. "Clark probably wouldn't mind asking him to do it for me as a special favor."
"I mean we'd pay him, of course," she said, "but Jimmy's really not a society photographer," she smiled.
"Jimmy Olsen?" Lex said with interest and a raised eyebrow.
Diana nodded. Lex let out a low whistle, impressed. Lois wasn't the only Pulitzer Prize winner in Clark's inner circle; Jimmy, too, had won the coveted prize for his photojournalism.
"Tell Clark I'll pay Jimmy whatever he wants," Lex said to Diana, "and then cut the check for three times what he asks for," he said to Tess, who literally cooed over him as she smiled and made her note.
"You know, you are marrying the kindest man in the world, except for my Axel," Tess said warmly.
"I believe it," Diana said, meeting Lex's eyes which were trying to scoff away Tess's compliment.
"I'm glad someone else points out this fact to you," Diana said, wrapping her arms around Lex's chest and snuggling her head onto his shoulder.
"I keep trying to tell him," she laughed over to Tess, "but he refuses to believe me."
Tess tsk'd.
"Mr. Luthor is just too modest for his own good," she said with not a hint of sarcasm or irony, causing Lex to burst out in a deep belly laugh.
"Tess, Tess, Tess," Lex said delightedly. "This is why I pay you the big bucks," he said, still laughing.
Diana smiled but Tess just shook her head over her kind, noble, and modest boss, refusing, as always, to be dissuaded from her opinion by his teasing. It was a rare human being who was as good a man as her Mr. Luthor, and no one, not even the man himself, could tell Tess differently.
Bruce and Shayera were just finishing their late breakfast when Bruce's phone rang. He showed the caller ID to Shayera as he picked it up.
"Diana," he said for a greeting. "What can I do for you?"
He grunted in typical Batman fashion as he listened to the Amazon for a minute, then sighed.
Finally, with a slight groan, he said, "Meet me behind the bowling alley on 37th Street," and promptly hung up.
"She wants to come check on Clark," Bruce groused to Shayera. "I have to go pick her up."
"Because she's not allowed to know where the Batcave entrance is?" Shayera said in delight.
"You and Clark are the only ones who know," Bruce grumbled. "And Clark is one too many, in my opinion."
Shayera laughed, but she leaned over to wrap her arms around Bruce's head and kiss him warmly, because none of his grump was towards her, and that meant a lot.
What meant even more was the tender way Bruce looked in her eyes and softly said, "I love you," before getting up to go change into Batman.
"I love you, too, Grumpy Bat," Shayera told him, earning herself an affectionate squeeze on the back of her neck and a kiss to the top of her head as Bruce left the kitchen.
Alfred glanced over at her as Shayera sighed happily into her coffee, unable to hide her slightly goofy, lovestruck smile from the butler's eyes.
"He needed you, miss," Alfred said contentedly. "It does my heart good to know that he is no longer alone."
"I needed him, too," Shayera said honestly, looking up to meet Alfred's eyes with her frank gaze.
"Especially after…" she trailed off, rubbing a finger along the edge of her coffee mug, not knowing how to put all of her grief and guilt and heartache from the last several years into words.
"Indeed," Alfred said quietly. "It can be difficult to live with the actions that one performs in service of Queen and Country," he said gravely, his eyes going distant for a moment.
Shayera was giving him a strange look when he came back to himself with a slight start.
"Ah, well," Alfred said, dismissing his mood and rising to attend to important butlerly business of some sort.
"You must not be too hard on yourself, my dear," he said, patting Shayera's shoulder as he passed by. "You were a loyal soldier," he said. "And a good person. Those two ingredients do not make for a peaceful post-war experience."
"I suppose not," Shayera said slowly, watching the butler's back as he left the room and wondering.
The Thanagarian was waiting in the Batcave by the time Batman returned from downtown Gotham with a Batgassed Wonder Woman in the passenger seat of the Batmobile.
"What in Hades?" Diana burst out as the Batwake spray hit her face and she awoke with a slight start.
She frowned, slowly getting her bearings, before glaring at the Bat in the seat next to her, who had an almost mischievous look on his face, if truth be told.
"Good morning, sunshine," he quipped, moving to exit the car.
A very bat-like growl escaped Diana's throat as she opened her door and groggily stood up.
"That was not appreciated," she snapped at Batman, who had immediately gone to kiss Shayera upon emerging from the Batmobile.
A fact which didn't make Diana choke up a little bit. Not at all.
And neither did the soft, happy look in Shayera's eyes as she and her Bat locked eyes for a moment afterwards.
Batman shrugged, turning back to face the angry Wonder Woman.
"Visitors are not appreciated," he returned to her, although he said it with more playfulness than snark, which softened the edge. It was Diana, after all.
She huffed.
"At least you get to see the Batcave," Shayera said cheerfully. "Lois didn't get the Batwake spray until she was upstairs in the Manor."
"Gee, thanks," Diana said sarcastically, although it was directed at Bruce, not Shayera. "I'm honored," she grumbled.
"I think the Batwake spray has some side effects on Amazons," Shayera whispered in Batman's ear. "She sounds almost as snarky as you."
Batman snorted and didn't even bother to try to hide his snicker from Wonder Woman, who pierced him with angry eyes and hands on her hips.
"Can we just go see Clark?" she demanded.
"Come on," Bruce said with amusement, leading the way to the elevator hand in hand with Shayera.
"Come in," Lois called to the knock on the bedroom door.
"Oh! Diana," she said with pleasure, getting up from the bed to go hug her friend.
An action which Lois wasn't adverse to in small groups of people she trusted, that was true, but the strength with which she gripped Diana and the way she shook as her friend held her tight told Diana exactly how badly Lois had been frightened by Clark's brush with death the night before.
"He's ok," Diana murmured comfortingly in Lois's hair, her grumpiness and snark forgotten in the face of her friend's need.
"I know," Lois sniffed, but she held onto Diana a few minutes longer as the Amazon slowly rubbed her back in soothing circles.
Lois took a deep breath and let out a long sigh as she finally eased up on the hug and stepped back from Diana.
"He's still sleeping," Lois said, going back to sit on the bed and moving her laptop over so Diana could sit at her feet.
Batman took the armchair by the bed and Shayera curled up in his lap. Which was only partly because it was the remaining free chair in the room, based on the tenderly familiar way that her arm went around Bruce's neck while he automatically cuddled her waist as she leaned into him.
Lois was stroking a gentle hand through Clark's hair with a sweetness that sharply contrasted with the feisty reporter's normal abrupt disposition.
"If he's not awake by tonight, let's try to rouse him," Batman said, "so he can tell us himself how he's doing. But until then, sleep is probably the best thing for him so his body can concentrate all its resources on absorbing the solar energy."
Lois nodded, looking back over at her trio of friends. Even though Shayera was more of a friend by extension at this point.
But Bruce and Diana both counted her as one of their closest friends and Lois had a feeling that she and the Thanagarian would indeed become true friends fast enough once they had some time to get to know each other better. The sharp tongued warrior already amused and delighted Lois, who could recognize a kindred spirit when she saw one.
"Lex was wondering if he could call later this afternoon to check on Clark while we're up on the Watchtower," Diana said, looking hesitantly at Lois.
Lois chewed her lip.
"I mean, Clark probably won't be awake," she mumbled, hedging.
Diana's eyes twinkled the slightest bit.
"He actually asked if he could have your number," she said. "But I told him I'd have to ask you first," the Amazon added quickly when Lois's nostrils flared. "I didn't give it to him yet."
"He probably already knows it," Batman said dryly, making Shayera cough with laughter, "and was just asking to keep up appearances."
Diana gave him a sharp frown.
"There's nothing wrong with manners," she said. "Or respecting boundaries."
"Of course not," Bruce murmured, chuckling under his breath.
"Better that than the alternative," Shayera agreed, her eyes laughing down into the Bat's.
Diana huffed and Lois let out an irritated sigh.
"Fine, fine," she said with annoyance. "Let him call me," she muttered.
Diana beamed.
"Thank you, Lois," she said. "He'll really appreciate it. He was worried about Clark and about how you're doing, too."
"I do not like this alternate reality I suddenly find myself living in," Lois complained to Batman, turning her head to meet his very amused eyes.
"I can imagine," the Bat sympathized. "But Clark's alive and well because of it," he said, "with almost everyone who wants him dead now imprisoned in Blackgate."
"Or marrying Diana," Shayera added cheekily, making Lois laugh out loud as Diana put her hands on her hips in mock offense.
"Speaking of which," Diana said, though, her cheeks turning pink. "Um," she hesitated in an uncomposed manner most unlike the Amazonian princess's normally poised presentation.
"Lex and I decided last night to move up the wedding date," she said slowly.
Lois raised an eyebrow. Batman probably was, too, but it was impossible to see it underneath his cowl. Shayera looked interested.
"To when?" the Thanagarian asked her friend.
"To Friday," Diana said, nervously looking to Lois first for her reaction.
"This Friday?" Lois said after a beat of silence.
Diana nodded.
"Holy shit," the reporter exploded. "Why - are you sure - what if - why?" Lois spluttered out.
Diana shrugged.
"We want to," she said, having no intention of discussing her sex life with anyone other than Lex. "I think the raid on the Legion of Doom was what was really holding Lex back from feeling secure in our relationship, and now that that's out of the way, we don't see a reason to wait."
Batman had cocked his head to the side and was looking at her strangely.
"It probably helps that Lex saved Clark's life last night," he said.
"What do you mean?" Diana said, raising her own eyebrow now as Shayera's eyes snapped thoughtfully down to regard Batman's curious expression.
"Well," Bruce said, "Lois and Clark are your two best friends. I'm sure it's a relief to Lex to have been able to demonstrate his level of moral reformation to them by saving Superman's life last night."
"I suppose," Diana said, wrinkling her brow. "I don't think he was really thinking about that," she said doubtfully.
"Maybe not," Bruce said lightly.
"Diana, are you really sure?" Lois asked her, reaching out to squeeze her friends' hands in hers. A most unusual level of physical contact for Lois Lane, which gave away her deep concern.
"I'm sure," Diana smiled back at her. "Positive," she said; and, indeed, happiness was practically pouring out of her pores, giving her a bridal glow.
"Well, shit," Shayera said. "You don't have much time to plan a wedding. Are we invited? Or are you eloping?"
"Oh, you're all invited, of course!" Diana said. "We're going to have it at the Feather and Quill Club," she said, looking to Bruce, who grunted in acknowledgment, because of course the billionaire was a member.
"It's going to be small, though," she said. "A few of Lex's closest friends -"
"- does he have any?" Batman mumbled.
"- yes, he has them!" Diana snapped, not missing his aside, although she was too bubbly and joyful to be anything more than mildly irritated with the Bat, and it showed in her voice.
"I'm going to invite all the Founders and Ollie and Dinah and Kara," Diana finished. "Although, I don't think Ollie and Dinah will come," she added softly.
The Bat's grunt was slightly more sympathetic this time.
"I could talk to Oliver," he offered with a reluctant sigh, which made Shayera press a kiss to the side of his cheek as Diana and Lois regarded him with looks of surprised pleasure.
"Careful, Grumpy," Shayera murmured. "They're gonna start thinking you're kind of a nice guy."
"I'm pretty sure I can remedy that situation, should it arise, with very little trouble at all," Bruce smirked up at her, the corners of his mouth crinkling with humor as Lois snorted with amused laughter.
"Thank you, Bruce," Diana said to him gratefully, directing the conversation back to his truly kind offer, "but, no. I'd rather you didn't. I don't want people at my wedding who don't want to be there," she said sadly.
"I understand," Bruce answered her gravely, his eyes flickering with pity, though.
"Lex's secretary Tess is handling the preparations for us," Diana said, to address more of Shayera's concerns over the short timeframe. "And it helps that Lex is rich, of course," she said, blushing a little as she looked down at her hands.
Lois snorted again.
"You get what you're willing to pay for," she said and Diana sighed in resignation to her new one-percenter status.
"Exactly," the princess said with a rueful smile. "The only thing I need from you all is a promise to show up."
"We will," Bruce said and Lois nodded but Shayera held a hand up.
"That is not all you need from us!" she said with excitement. "You need a final conquest!"
"What?" Diana said, her jaw dropping. "Why on earth would I go have sex with someone else?" she asked Shayera in horror.
"Sex?" Shayera said in confusion. "Who said anything about sex?"
"You did," Lois said dryly. "A conquest often means a love conquest. In Earth terms."
"Oh," Shayera frowned. "Damn translation errors," she grumbled. " A final… rampage?" she asked more hesitantly, looking first to Bruce, then to Lois for confirmation that she got it right this time.
"A wild, murderous, violent and unprovoked campaign of destruction fueled by blood-lust?" Lois said, this time the one whose voice betrayed horror.
Batman began laughing.
Hard.
"... yes?" Shayera whispered in a tiny voice as Batman's shoulders shook.
Lois's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head.
"What the fuck do you all do on Thanagar?" she said.
"It's a tradition," Shayera shrugged. "Your best sisters-in-arms take you out for one final female-only fury fueled raid -"
"- they call it a bachelorette party here, babe," Bruce managed to get out around his laughter.
"Oh," Diana said with interest, suddenly understanding and getting excited. "I've heard of those!" she said at the same time as Lois groaned, "Oh, God."
"Hey, Lane," Shayera said in a no-nonsense tone. "It's your duty. As Wonder Woman's best friend. Do not fail me in this obligation," the Thanagarian warrior said severely, drawing her brows. "I'll help, but I'm going to need your Earthling expertise to make sure I don't fuck it up."
"No murders," Lois said immediately and firmly.
"We only killed villains," Shayera said in an aggrieved tone. "You make it sound like we were murdering innocents, Lois. Geez. We're not monsters."
"Debatable," Lois grumbled.
"Hey!" Batman said sharply, meaning it this time as he gave Lois an angry look.
"Sorry," the reporter mumbled, glancing up at Shayera before glancing away again.
Shayera's lips pressed into a thin line but she didn't say anything.
"It would mean a lot to me if you both worked together on the bachelorette party," Diana said gently, her eyes pleading with Shayera before looking at Lois to prod at her conscience.
"Fine," Lois said shortly.
"Look," the reporter said after a minute of tense silence, finally looking up at Shayera.
"I get that you personally aren't a monster. But it's hard not to think that about your people when they went blithely around the galaxy wiping out planet after planet so they could - what was it again? Avoid being wiped out themselves?"
"I know," Shayera mumbled, sighing. "I don't disagree with you about that," she said softly.
Batman hugged her a little tighter.
"It's just," Shayera said, raising her head to look Lois in the eyes. "We weren't always monsters. And our way of life before the war and apart from the war wasn't monstrous. We're warriors," she said. "We do things differently than you weak-ass, artsy Earthlings."
"Yourself excepted, Batman," she added, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
"Naturally," he smirked up at her with perfect confidence.
Lois sighed and Diana giggled.
"Ok," Lois said without heat. "So can we plan this party together?"
"Yes," said Shayera.
"Can Kara come?" Diana asked them. "And Tess, Lex's secretary? And maybe Carlos's wife? I haven't met her yet, though," Diana said. "I don't know what the proper protocol is for issuing invitations."
Lois thought for a minute.
"Bachelorette party is usually just the bride's friends," she said. "They tend to be kind of wild and someone who's outside the social group wouldn't likely have a good time," she said. "Not that some of us inside the social group will be enjoying ourselves, either," she snarked at Shayera, who grinned.
"We'll get even you to have fun, Lois," she promised.
"Ha!" Lois said. "Doubtful. Extremely doubtful," she said. "But I'll come. And help you plan it. And keep you from killing anyone," she said, and the wink that she gave Shayera had a hint of friendliness about it which did a lot to ease Diana and Bruce's worry.
"Oh," Batman said, remembering suddenly. "Shayera and I have some news, too," he said, glancing up at his fiancée, who nodded at him.
"What's that?" Diana asked curiously, noting Lois's non-reaction to the announcement.
"We're engaged," Bruce said simply, meeting Diana's eyes straight on.
"Oh!" she said, startled.
Startled turned to shocked, as the statement sunk in.
Diana's eyes went to Shayera's, which were regarding her warily, then to Batman's, which seemed more closed off, but watchful for her reaction.
Diana swallowed.
"Congratulations," the Amazon princess said dutifully, forcing a smile.
"Wow," she continued, looking at Lois, whose eyes were definitely sympathetic and concerned for her.
"Three engagements in the League at once," Diana said lightly. "Who would've thought?"
"You started it," Lois said playfully, poking Diana to break the tension.
"You continued it," Shayera added, smirking at Lois before smiling up at her Bat, who was smiling tenderly down at her now.
"Maybe Wally will be next," Diana said bravely, attempting to join in on the humor and show her friends that she was ok.
Or, at the very least, going to act ok, even if her insides didn't agree.
"My money's on J'onn," Batman growled and then they were all laughing and pretending that everything was fine.
And maybe it was kind of fine. Because they weren't fighting, and they were all happy, and if a few of them were sad at the same time, too, well, life could be complicated and messy like that.
It was when they were in the air flying towards the javelin launchpad, with Diana a little ways ahead of them and out of hearing distance, that Batman looked up at Shayera from his contentedly relaxed position dangling in her arms and said, "I have some concerns about the timing of Diana's wedding."
"I thought you did," Shayera said, looking back down at him somberly.
"You think Lex saving Clark was a set-up?" she asked him with worry.
Batman grunted.
"I don't know," he said. "But we have to consider it a possibility."
Shayera hummed in agreement.
"I hope it was genuine," she said. "I'd hate to see Diana get hurt."
"Or the League get decimated when Lex manages to manipulate his way past her defenses," Batman said more sourly.
"Baby, as long as Batman is on the case, I'm not too worried," Shayera said, pressing a kiss to his cheek and prompting a somewhat self-satisfied smile to appear on the Bat's face.
"Well, I am the World's Greatest Detective," he said with playful amusement. "But every detective needs a good Watson by their side."
"I have no idea what that means," Shayera said, "but it sounds like you're flirting with me."
"I am," Bruce confirmed.
"Well, ok, then," Shayera said, kissing him again on the cheek, then more as he turned his face to kiss her fully on the lips. "I'll be your Watsever."
"You already are," said Bruce, and it was only because Shayera wasn't used to having someone flying in front of her on their way to the javelin site that she almost bumped into Diana as she made out with Batman in the air.
A/N Thanks for reading! Updates are posted weekly.