Warning: This chapter mentions self-harm, though only in theory (none of these characters did it). If you don't want to deal with that, stop reading when Lauren tells Draco he can talk to her about anything. There will be a summary of that part in the end notes, so avoid that too if you really don't want to read anything about it at all.
44. Hetero sapiens [Saturday, August 27th 2005]
It was already half past eleven when Draco could finally end his shift on Ella's birthday. He stopped by his house to change (desperately wishing he could just wear something short-sleeved for once – it was just so hot) and then Apparated as close to Ella and Callum's flat as he could.
Lauren opened the door and promptly dragged him in by the arm.
"Draco! Finally! You're very much needed. Harry found himself a groupie and she really can't take a hint. And he's way too polite to just tell her he's not interested. Don't know why he doesn't tell her he's got a boyfriend. Maybe he just doesn't realise she wants to get into his pants – he's just so ridiculously clueless. Come on."
She led him through the flat. Harry stood next to the window, his back to the wall. Next to him stood a very pretty girl with flaming red hair. Draco found himself wondering if that was Harry's type or if it had been Ginny's personality that had won him over.
One thing was crystal-clear, at least: Harry was definitely her type. She stood way too close to him, seriously invading his personal space. Harry looked miserable and Draco suspected that he was just barely keeping it together because this was a Muggle party and he had no rational reason to be that defensive. These people had no idea what Harry had to endure every day.
"I just really love football! Most girls don't even know what offside is!" She giggled obnoxiously and put a hand on Harry's naked arm, making him flinch. "Want me to explain it?"
"No," said Harry listlessly, trying to lean away from her without being too obvious. Did Harry even know what 'offside' was? "I believe you."
Harry caught sight of Draco and perked up. Seldom had Draco seen him that relieved. Ginger noticed the change as well. She turned around to see what Harry had spotted. That was when Draco recognised her.
"Harry! Look who I found!" Lauren practically shouted. "It's your –"
"Chaperone," Draco cut in, making no move to touch Harry, whose confusion was clear on his face. "Hello, Potter. Mathews."
She clearly recognised him too. Her eyebrows shot up and she wrung her hands nervously. Lauren seemed confused. Harry looked crestfallen as the realisation sunk in.
"You two know each other?" he asked, clearing his throat at the end of it.
"From the hospital," Draco said pointedly.
"What a coincidence." Harry's voice sounded rather numb. He turned his face in the witch's direction without really looking at her. "Nice talking to you. There's something I need to discuss with Malfoy. If you'd excuse me."
And then he grabbed Draco by the arm with way too much force and hauled him out of the flat and into the hallway. Draco didn't take this personally. He knew that Harry was boiling inside.
"She's a witch!" Harry yelled as the door closed behind them. "She pretended to be a Muggle for two whole hours! What the hell? I was seriously thinking about kissing you just to finally get rid of her! We're so lucky you recognised her!"
Draco put a hand on his shoulder in support. "Why did you put up with her for two hours? You could've told her you're not interested."
"And how was I to know she was coming on to me? I thought she didn't know who I was. I don't just assume everybody's into me, you know?"
"Are you blind? What more would she have to do to get through to you? Take off all her clothes?"
"Ha ha," Harry said tonelessly.
The door burst open suddenly and Draco let go of Harry, taking a hasty step back. They both turned to look at Lauren, who stood there with her arms crossed.
"Thank God." She sighed with relief. "I thought you broke up and didn't tell us. Why did you act so weird in there?"
"Er –" Harry said, looking at Draco helplessly and then back at Lauren. "You didn't tell her, right?"
"Don't worry," Lauren reassured him. "I can take a hint. I just told her you're sadly not interested. Now, why did I have to tell her that?"
"You see … the thing is …" Harry shot Draco another pleading look, but he just shrugged. He didn't know Muggle dating mentality. "I only dated women until now. And with my career …"
"He isn't exactly out yet," Draco cut in, realising where Harry was going with it. The heat and stress were starting to get to his head, and he pushed up his right sleeve in an attempt at getting some air. Lauren's features softened considerably.
"Oh wow, that's awful." She patted Harry's arm lightly, because that was how she showed affection. She definitely wasn't as touchy-feely as Olivia – at least not with people other than her girlfriend. "I know professional sports are not exactly tolerant. I'm so sorry … I'll tell the others to hush it up."
Harry gave her a relieved smile and a spontaneous hug, which she returned fiercely. "Thanks! You're the best." Then he kissed her cheek and went back inside.
Lauren shut the door behind him and turned back to Draco, who suddenly felt slightly trapped. She gave him a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. What he saw there looked more like uncertainty, or maybe concern.
"Liv and I will keep you company for the rest of the evening."
"Thank you," said Draco gratefully.
Everything was better than ending up in another movie debate with Ella. He wasn't keen on watching her become exasperated with his lack of common knowledge again.
"Anytime," she said, smiling way too nicely for her standards. It was unsettling. "You know we love you, right?"
"Um," said Draco, caught completely off guard. Other than his mother, nobody had ever told him that before, especially not this casually.
"We really do, and not just because you're with Harry. Though that's also a pretty big part of it, of course. You go well together. It's a relief to see him happy again, opening up a bit. We never knew, you know? About his childhood. He never talked about it before. Hermione mentioned something about his parents once, and of course we know he has nightmares, even though he tries to hide them; but that was about it."
Draco frowned. He wasn't really surprised that she knew about the nightmares. Harry had them frequently – they both did – and Draco didn't know how Harry could hope to control them when he was spending the night. He was just confused why Lauren was telling him all of this.
"Is this the part where you threaten me? Isn't it a little late for that, six months in?"
Lauren punched his arm affectionally. "That's not where I was going. I'm just saying … sometimes it's good to open up, right? So your friends can understand you better and be there for you."
Draco searched her face for a clue, some hint of where this was going. "I'm not sure he'll do that again anytime soon. I think he regretted saying anything as soon as he opened his mouth. He doesn't really want to talk about his childhood."
Lauren sighed deeply and shot a wistful look at the apartment door. She muttered, "Should've gotten Liv to do it," and then turned back to him. She took his left hand and squeezed it. "I'm not talking about Harry. You can talk to us too, you know? About anything."
Something ice-cold slid down his back as she turned his hand over carefully, making the inside of his left arm face up. Her eyes were much softer than Draco would ever have thought possible, and she knew. His sleeve was still covering that damned scar, but somehow, she knew.
Draco pulled away and gripped his lower arm with his right hand, facing it away from her. And her eyebrows drew together in sorrowful confirmation.
"You don't have to hide it, Draco. We won't judge you. There are plenty of people who self-harmed before coming to the gym. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
Draco shook his head. Thoughts were racing through his heads, but very few of them made any sense. This was all kinds of fucked up. Here she was, worried about his well-being, while Draco was hiding the mark that proclaimed his superiority over her – over all of them. His willingness to watch them be enslaved or killed. He felt dizzy and sick.
"I'm not," he whispered. He didn't know why he was whispering, Malfoy's never whispered, but he couldn't do anything to change it. "I think I …"
Draco gestured vaguely towards the stairs, but she grabbed his shoulder – the right one – immediately. She looked angry.
"I'm sorry! Don't go. I completely fucked this up, I know I'm no good at it." Her brown eyes were narrowed in urgency. "Don't go. I won't mention it again, I promise. Just – I promise that's the last I will say about it – if you ever do want to talk – no matter what it's about - we'll listen." She smiled at him fiercely and opened the door for him.
Draco stood frozen to the spot. Everything inside him wanted to flee, turn his back on the horribleness of it all. But he also knew that it was his own fault, and that leaving now would only add to that. He owed it to them to stay and be better than he had been.
He took a deep, shaky breath and went back inside.
Summary of the last part: Lauren assumes that Draco self-harms, because he always keeps his left arm covered. Draco is ashamed, because she cares so much about him and he's hiding something that basically means he used to hate people like her. He ultimately decides to stay at the party, because he doesn't want to run from his guilt but be a better person.