Asterin had been working on a stew for almost an hour now and the smell was driving Elide mad. The principle ingredient, she'd learned, was blood. It should not smell this good. She glanced over at the witch, still clad in her leathers and fully armed, crouched over the fire and adding more rosemary to the blend.

"I didn't know witches flavored their food with spices," she admitted from where she sat next to Lorcan. He'd been either sleeping or unconscious since they'd found him, only waking occasionally and hardly speaking even when awake.

"Witches don't," Asterin said with a grin that turned down at the edges. Her eyes were far away as she said, "My hunter did."

"What was his name?" Elide asked quietly.

"Would you believe me if I told you I didn't remember?" Asterin's smile was brittle but not unpleasant.

"If you want me to," Elide agreed easily enough, glancing down at Lorcan. A frown flickered over his unconscious expression.

"I think," Asterin said, slowly tasting the soup and rolling it over her tongue a few times. "I think we should take him with us and head to Mistward."

"Is he strong enough to travel, do you think?" Elide frowned, brushing a strand of dark hair off his forehead.

"I think that Mistward might have healers and-" Asterin's voice trailed off and she eyed Elide warily.

"And?" Elide prodded.

"And burial grounds," Asterin's voice was firm but her eyes were soft.

"You don't think we can save him." It wasn't really a question. Elide was surprised at the lack of emotion in her own tone. Her hand rested on Lorcan's shoulder, gently shifting every time he took a shallow breath.

"No, I don't," Asterin shrugged, going back to her stew. "Your fae is a fighter, Elide. I have no doubt about that. But every creature, fae, demi-fae, witch or human, has a threshold of what they can and can not survive."

Elide hadn't realized she'd tightened her hold on Lorcan's shoulder until he shifted. She glanced down to find him staring at her with the same confusion he woke up with everytime. It was as though the sight of her next to him was baffling.

"I think," Asterin was continuing. "That if we get him to Mistward he'll be more comfortable and we'll be able to bury him somewhere legitimate, rather than some unmarked grave in the woods."

Elide couldn't tear her gaze away from Lorcan's. He could hear Asterin, but he didn't seem to be paying much attention to what she was actually saying. Some unmarked grave in the woods. Was he afraid to die?

As if he could read her thoughts, he offered her a ghost of a smile, barely tugging at the corner of his mouth. She matched it. She should have known better.

"Asterin thinks we should make for Mistward," she told him. Asterin glanced over as if just now aware he'd woken. "What do you think?"

Lorcan sighed, shaking his head and opening his mouth to speak but tripping into a coughing fit before he could manage the first word. The coughs racket his broad, but now slender, shoulders and Asterin winced form where she worked at the fire. It sounded like he was being torn apart from the inside. Elide cringed and grit her teeth. She wished there was something she could do beside sit here and keep the wolves away.

His cough suddenly halted and his eyes grew wide. It would have been a comical expression on his face if it weren't for the raw pain and terror glinting in his eyes. Elide's heart caught in her throat as she suddenly realized what was happening.

"Asterin! Asterin he can't breathe! Asterin what do I-"

Asterin was across the cave in a single step and hauled Lorcan up roughly, slapping him hard across the back. He coughed bloody, black mass up, his whole frame shuddering with the force of aching for air. A low moan rattled around the cave before he started in on another coughing fit.

Asterin's eyes met Elide's over Lorcan's back as he struggled to breathe and her eyes said enough. It didn't matter what Lorcan thought. Their only chance at healing him was at Mistward and the chance was very slim. Burial at Mistward was better than burial in the wilderness. There was less of a chance of something digging him up. Elide shuddered.

"If we go," Lorcan managed to gasp finally, "We could put Mistward at odds with Maeve."

Elide might not know much about Demi-fae and fae culture, but she knew enough about Maeve to shiver at the thought of any city being pitted against the Fae Queen. However, if it was the only chance at saving him…

"We don't have to declare to the world who you are," Asterin shrugged.

Elide used a wet cloth to wipe blood from the corner of his mouth.

"You were already headed in that direction," Elide pointed out and he gave her a look that was so tired she wanted to scream. Fight it! Her chest ached with the unspoken words, but she didn't voice them. He was fighting. Asterin was right. There was a threshold of what a body could take, demi-fae or not. She should be grateful he'd hung on this long.

"But I didn't intend to enter the city," Lorcan shook his head again, sweat glistened on his feverish brow and he closed his eyes in exhaustion. Asterin gripped him under the armpits and heaved his massive frame back to lean against the cave wall. Only a witch could manage that. Elide hadn't even thought about how she would help maneuver him when she intended to set out alone. She shot a grateful look at Asterin but the witch was avoiding her gaze and stalking over to ladle a bowl of her blood soup.

"We'll camp outside the city," Elide agreed, silently working out how to lure a healer out into the woods to see if there was anything to be done.

"Surely if we just ask for a plot in a burial field that won't be a problem for our resident Fae bitch-queen," Asterin said with false cheerfulness bringing a bowl of soup and slicing up chunks of meat with her iron nails. "She can't be as petty as that."

Lorcan gave a small laugh, followed by another cough and shook his head. "She may surprise you."

"We should set out tomorrow," Elide said, not particularly wanting to continue talking about Maeve.

"We won't enter the city," she added. "Not unless they are aware of the situation and know the risk they're taking."

"Here," Asterin offered her the bowl of soup. "Nothing personal," she said to Lorcan with a wink. "But I'm not the spoon-feeding type."

Elide frowned at the thought that she was 'the spoon-feeding type', whatever that meant, but accepted the bowl. She didn't really want another witch feeding Lorcan anyway.

"I can-" Lorcan winced, lifting a heavy arm for the bowl but he seemed to realize his own weakness even as he did so. Something frantic flashed across his dark gaze and it scared Elide. If his helplessness scared him, it petrified her.

"No," she said, picking up the spoon and lifting it to his mouth. "If you need to expend energy, use it to fight the infection."

It took a minute for him to struggle against his pride and force himself to take the bite.

"Careful not to give the hatchling too big of bites," Asterin said with a grin. Her eyes were serious despite her teasing. "He could choke."

Lorcan snarled at the 'hatchling' jab but Asterin only chuckled.

"I'm going to go settle down with Nerene for the night," she said. "Nothing will get in here without going through the two of us. Call me if you need anything."

Then she was ducking out of the cave and clicking her tongue for her wyvern.

"Where do you find these people?" Lorcan rasped.

"They sort of find me, I guess," Elide tried to smile but thought of Aelin and couldn't. Lorcan, Manon, Asterin, Aelin: they were all fierce, proud characters who protected her for reasons she didn't understand. She loved them all. And hated them sometimes.

Elide sighed and spoon fed him another bite.

She didn't know what Aelin was enduring right now, she probably didn't want to. She wondered at how Asterin could bear to help her care for the one she loved, she wondered if doing so reminded her too frequently of her Hunter and stillborn witchling. She couldn't imagine the pain Lorcan was in right now to render him so weak. She couldn't fathom how desperate Rowan and Gavriel must have been to abandon him to the wolves and whatever else might have found him.

Something hateful surged through her chest and she pushed it down. There was no point in dwelling on the what-if's. Lorcan had not been torn apart by wolves and he was not going to die alone. If she had any say about it, he wasn't going to die. Period.

But it wasn't as though her say meant anything to fate.

"Elide," she found Lorcan watching her intently, thin face drawn and guarded. "How did you know I was going to Mistward? I didn't tell you that."

Right.

Elide thought of any number of excuses but none of them were a long term solution. She needed to tell him.

"And how did you know that I was injured?" His eyes were sharp.

"I…" she sighed. Carefully she offered him another spoonful and he seemed to consider accepting it for several seconds, onyx eyes analyzing her micro-expressions. When he finally opened his mouth and accepted the bite she took a deep breath and mustered her courage.

"I have magic, I guess," she said lamely. He frowned but didn't say anything so she continued. He didn't seem surprised, but he wasn't offering any insight to what he was feeling exactly.

"I started having these dreams… nightmares really. I realized a few weeks ago that they were actually memories. Not my memories, just memories. I saw things from Aelin's childhood, her parent's murders." Elide shuddered but forced herself to continue.

"I think I saw Rowan's m- uh, his first wife, Lyria when she-" Elide cringed and Lorcan swallowed. He probably knew more about Lyria than she did.

"I've seen things from Asterin's memories, Manon's memories…" she forced herself to meet his gaze as she admitted, "Your memories."

Lorcan gave a small nod, eyes still guarded.

"At first it was accidental," she fumbled to explain. "But then…"

"What did you see?" Lorcan's tone was not angry, but it wasn't gentle either.

Elide hesitated.

"How much did you see?" he asked. Unease had crept into his tone and Elide remembered Asterin's pain and resentment. Your power simply goes beyond the bounds of ethicality. Like Maeve's.

"I've seen a lot of your childhood." Elide braced herself for his resentment as well. She wasn't going to lie to him. There had been enough lies in their friendship. Or whatever this was between them.

He nodded once. Carefully.

"And I've seen some of your time serving Maeve." Something like a wince flickered across his face but he wiped it away with expert precision. If anything, he was practised at hiding his thoughts when he wanted to.

"I've seen Essar." She hesitated briefly to gauge his reaction to the beautiful female's name but only received a small frown. "And I've watched the events of the past few weeks sporadically so I could find you."

Again Lorcan gave her a small nod and she felt a fraction of relief for just having confessed out-loud. He narrowed his eyes and his frown deepened.

"Why did you look for Essar?"

Elide cursed the blush that bloomed in her cheeks. Lorcan raised one brow and then clarified,

"What exactly did you see?"

Elide was not about to tell him what she'd seen, so she carefully evaded the second question in favor of answering the first.

"I wasn't looking for Essar, I was looking for Veradis and came across a memory of Essar questioning you about her."

Lorcan's face had gone ashen, his color drained. Elide stopped, gut dropping. She hadn't meant to discuss Veradis yet.

"Can you see…" Lorcan's voice trailed off quietly and she watched him muster the strength to continue the sentence. "Can you see things I can't remember?"

Elide nodded. "I think so…"

"Do you know why I can't remember Veradis?" Lorcan looked small suddenly. And afraid. It made Elide sick to see him afraid.

"Maeve," she answered.

Confusion and pain and resentment flashed across his face.

"Can you tell me what I can't remember?"

"I can show you," Elide gave a small smile. "But you need to eat first. Then I'll show you."

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Please review! Hearing from my readers really keeps me going!

-D.