Hello! :-) Here is my latest chapter which I hope you will enjoy! :-) Please know I am very grateful for your continued support of this story! :-) Thank you, as always, for your very kind reviews and views, faves and follows. I appreciate each and every one from many different parts of the world. :-) I love that there seems to be many Elizabeth and Lucas fans! :-)

Chapter 33

Elizabeth looked from Lucas's troubled expression to the sealed envelope she held in her hands. She stood and so did he.

"You're sure you want me to read this?" she asked, studying him.

He nodded solemnly. "I do. I need someone else's eyes on this before mine to let me know how bad it might be. I have to be ready."

He waited a beat before continuing. "Elizabeth, I want your eyes to be the ones to see my father's words."

She wanted to go to him to reassure him whatever his father had written he would be all right; but when she saw his imploring brown eyes filled with uncertainty, she knew he needed answers. She flipped the envelope and unsealed it.

"You're absolutely positive you want me to do this?" she asked one more time.

"Yes, please. You can just skim through the pages if you want but tell me what the tone is so I can prepare. I know I have to respond, but I would rather hear what to expect than read it without any warning."

"All right," she said, removing the stationery. "I will glance through these pages to see what your father has written."

"Thank you, Elizabeth."

"Of course, sweetheart. I know you would do the same for me. I just want to be sure this is what you want me to do."

"It is."

As he pressed his fingers against his lips and tried not to fidget as he waited, his insides churned at what Elizabeth might tell him, yet he knew he needed to hear whatever it was she would say, and then he would figure out how to handle the aftermath.

Elizabeth took care unfolding the papers and then began to scan through the first page and then the second and the third. She stopped after the fourth and looked at Lucas.

"You have to read this, sweetheart." she said. "What your father has written is very personal to you and seems to be a confession of sorts. I think you will be surprised by what he is telling you, at least in these first few pages. I believe the remainder of the letter is probably more of the same. You need to read your father's words, Lucas. You may find some much-needed resolution and healing."

"He's not lecturing or chastising me or gloating over the fact I got myself into this mess and had to go to him for help?" he asked, still wary.

"No, Lucas," Elizabeth said, shocked he thought his father could be that cruel. "This letter is not that. At all. At least not in these first few pages. He sounds very sincere and contrite. But you have to read the letter to understand the context of what he is saying and why."

"Is something wrong with him?" Lucas asked, suddenly concerned.

Elizabeth smiled. "Sweetheart, read the letter."

Lucas nodded as Elizabeth returned the papers to the envelope and handed it to him. She did not want to tell him his father had mentioned her in the letter, but she was pleased he seemed happy for his son that he was courting a "very lovely woman." He referenced his own courtship with Lucas's mother, which Elizabeth hoped Lucas would find comforting since he had talked about that aspect of his parents' lives when they were in Union City. She also hoped he would consider very seriously his father's admission of realizing what he had been missing out on since Lucas had left so abruptly after their last conversation. She knew there was a lot to digest, and she had not read every word, but she felt what she had told Lucas should give him the courage and the impetus to read the entire letter.

"Thank you, Elizabeth."

"You're welcome," she said and smiled. "I think you will like what you see."

"I'm amazed if that's what this is. I've wanted this for so long, but I gave up hope it would ever happen."

"Never give up hope," she said softly, with meaning.

Lucas nodded. "You're right. Maybe this letter proves that. I didn't want to give up. I kept trying to reach out to him, but I couldn't keep holding on when it seemed my father had no desire to try to reconcile our differences or meet me halfway. Please know, Elizabeth, it wasn't that I didn't try. I never thought this would happen. I never wanted this to happen. I did try. Many times. It's very difficult to keep getting rebuffed, so I finally stopped. I figured that's what my father wanted. I am very thankful I have the relationships I do with my mother and my uncle. They keep me going."

"Lucas, I believe you. I can see how close you are to your mother and your uncle. Of course, you would want that same type of relationship with your father. I understand that, and I think there's an opening for you with your father now, too, which can only help."

"Yes, that's true. And I will be very thankful if I am given that opportunity."

As Lucas returned the letter to his jacket pocket, his eyes were drawn towards Elizabeth's desk where he saw a piece of white paper in her typewriter.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It looks like I interrupted your writing. I know you're on a tight deadline. I should go."

"Sweetheart, it's fine. I was finishing up one last rewrite for tonight. Since I had the day off from teaching, I was able to work on two chapters. Your mother said we are on track to finish the edits next week."

"Elizabeth, that's wonderful. I know you must be ready to be done with this."

"No, not really. I've enjoyed spending time with your mother and working on my novel. We are both very happy with the way the story is going. I am so grateful for your mother's help and yours, Lucas."

He ran the palms of his hands along her bare upper arms. She tingled at his warm touch.

"This is a very exciting time for you. Do you know how quickly spring will be here? Your book will be on display for all to see and read, sweetheart."

"I know. My dream is becoming a reality. I still can't believe it sometimes."

"Believe it, Elizabeth. Your dream is getting closer with each passing day."

"You're going to be with me, right, when I send off the manuscript? I know you have so much going on, but I want you there with me, Lucas, if at all possible. I know it's only the mercantile, but still…"

"Elizabeth," Lucas said, continuing to caress her arms, "I was with you when you made the phone call. I would have been with you throughout your writing process, but I knew I couldn't. Of course, I will be with you when you post your manuscript and every step after that. I am so proud of you and so excited for you."

"Thank you," she said, moving closer to him. "I love hearing that."

"Because of what was going on with Henry's company, you were reluctant to celebrate when you got this book deal. I hope you will want to celebrate when you send off your manuscript and when your book is published. You still want that party you talked about, right?"

"I think so. My parents should be able to be here, but who knows about Viola. Julie may still be here at this rate, but yes. I do want to celebrate, and if it's anything like the one we just had, I know it will be wonderful."

"We will make it happen."

"I hope your family will be here, too. Maybe," she said, knowing she should let him leave so he could read his father's letter but not quite ready to let him go, "even your father."

Lucas shook his head, unable to imagine that scenario. "That would be something. I knew he wouldn't come here with my mother. I should be upset he sent my uncle instead of trusting me to take care of my own mother, but I'm so grateful to my uncle and what he has meant to me and done for me that I'm thankful every day he's here. I don't know if my father realizes it, but he did me a huge favor by asking his brother to take care of my mother."

"Your uncle loves you very much."

"I know. Every time he calls me 'son,' I can't help but wonder if he knows exactly what he is saying. I don't think my father said anything to him, but if my uncle knew what had happened between my father and me, that word would take on a whole new meaning for him. It has for me since this all happened."

Elizabeth reached out to touch his cheek and caress his beard. "Are you going to be all right?"

"I am."

"Because you are more than welcome to stay and read the letter if you want. I can make you tea or heat up leftovers if you are hungry…"

Lucas smiled at her tenderness. "You are so sweet, but I know I have taken up enough of your time. I came here unannounced and basically dumped this on you. I'm sorry."

"Lucas, please do not apologize. You are welcome here any time you want. And you did not dump anything on me. You shared something very personal that is going on in your life. I want to know when you are hurting, and I want to try to help. That's what this courtship is all about, remember? We share the good and the bad, and we take care of each other."

He inclined his head. "I know. You're right. As usual."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay? Julie gave Little Jack a bath and was going to read to him. I'm sure he's asleep, and she's in her room. We can go into the kitchen or sit out here if you want."

"Thank you, sweetheart, but I'm sure. I need to head back. We both have another busy day tomorrow."

"Okay. I understand. Please let me know how you are doing. Come here for dinner tomorrow if you want and have time."

"Maybe I will. I'll see you tomorrow."

She nodded. "Lucas? I want you to be okay."

"I will be. I am. I just need to find out everything my father has to say. I'll be fine."

She walked with him to the door but before he could open it to leave, she pulled him into a hug.

"I love you," she whispered against his chest, "and I want to be here for you, so please don't shut me out. All right?"

"I wouldn't do that," he assured her. "I just need to know what I'm dealing with."

"I know. But remember I'm here. Please."

He pulled back to look at her and cupped her chin. "I know you are, and I love you for reminding me. I'll see you tomorrow. For sure."

Elizabeth nodded. They said goodnight and then, knowing she had no choice, she grudgingly let him leave but not before telling him, once more, how much she loved him. When he was no longer in her sight, she shut the door and then leaned back against it, closing her eyes and allowing herself a few moments to breathe. It had taken every ounce of willpower she had to let him walk out the door. She opened her eyes and her heart to the truth: she wished he didn't have to leave. She'd wanted him to stay. With her. And not only for that night but for always. She wanted him to be there with her and her son. To be a true family. For all of their days.

She couldn't imagine Lucas ever disowning any of his children, even if they chose a different path for their lives. She wanted him to experience the joys of fatherhood the way she had motherhood. She knew, now more than ever, he would make an excellent father because she realized he knew what it felt like, in a broader sense, not to have a father. And she knew he would never treat Little Jack as anyone other than his own son.

I will pray you find peace with your father, Lucas, because you and he should definitely be in each other's lives.

As Lucas walked towards the Queen of Hearts, Nathan saw him as he was completing his nightly rounds and said hello. Lucas returned his greeting while never breaking stride. Nathan quickened his pace and caught up with him.

"Are you coming from Elizabeth's?" he asked, his tone pleasant, which surprised Lucas, but he wasn't sure he needed to answer that question.

After pausing for effect, he decided to respond.

"As a matter of fact, I am."

Nathan nodded. "I…uh…I know I didn't congratulate you and Elizabeth when you made your announcement."

"We understood. We didn't think you would. We were surprised you were there."

"Yeah, I…I was surprised to be there, too."

"Your lady friend wanted to go?" Lucas asked, curious as to why Nathan wanted to continue to walk and talk.

"Yeah. Allie, too."

"Your lady friend, Francine, seems very nice. Elizabeth and I are happy she decided to stay to help take care of Henry."

"She's happy she took the position. Said Henry hasn't been too bad. I was glad to hear that."

Lucas chuckled. "I'm sure you were. But good for her and for Henry."

"Have you…have you seen him?"

"No, not yet. Elizabeth has. Said he is doing okay."

Nathan nodded.

"I need to get to the saloon," Lucas said, wanting to walk as fast as he could but not really sure why.

Dread still filled him when he thought about reading his father's letter, even though Elizabeth's words and encouragement had calmed him. Somewhat.

"Do you…I mean….would you…could we go to the café for a cup of coffee or something?"

Lucas stopped and looked at Nathan. "Now? You want to sit in Abigail's Café drinking coffee with me?"

"Yes. I do."

"Why?" Lucas asked, not sure he trusted the Mountie's motives.

"I…I'd like to ask you something, but I…don't feel comfortable doing it at the saloon."

"You want to ask me something?"

Nathan sighed and looked upward. "Yes, I do, but I can tell you think this is strange, so…I guess…you know what? Never mind."

"No," Lucas defended. "I didn't say this was strange. Am I surprised? Absolutely. But I admit I am even more curious what you want to ask me. Sure. Let's go to the café. I have time for a cup of coffee."

And you, Constable Grant, have given me a great excuse to delay reading my father's letter.

"I may even ask for a refill."

To say Bill was shocked to see Lucas and Nathan walk in and sit together at a table would not have begun to accurately describe his reaction. Thunderstruck would maybe be a more apt definition. He had to see for himself why these two men were ordering coffee and seemed to be sitting comfortably across from each other.

"Good evening, gentlemen," he said, placing two cups of coffee on the table. "May I ask what brings the two of you here, sitting together, no less?"

"Hello, Bill," Lucas said. "Nathan will have to answer that question. I have no idea why he asked me to join him for coffee, but I definitely want to find out."

Bill raised curious eyebrows at Nathan.

"I have something I want to ask Lucas. It's not a big deal. Thank you for bringing us our coffee, Bill. We'll let you know if we need anything else."

"Sure. Anytime," he said, and left in a bit of a huff at Nathan's quick dismissal, which made both men chuckle.

"The floor is yours, Constable," Lucas said, after taking a sip of the hot brew.

"I just…well, first of all, I owe you an apology."

Now it was Lucas's turn to raise his eyebrows. "Interesting. Please. Do go on."

"I know I have said…and thought…some unfavorable things about you, and I…I've come to realize I was wrong."

"Wow, Constable. How kind of you to acknowledge this to me. Maybe Bill should be here as a witness so you can't take that back."

"I know you don't have to accept what I am saying, but…."

"I didn't say I wouldn't accept your apology. You know, Nathan. You assume a lot of things that maybe people are not saying or even thinking. Maybe that's what gets you into trouble sometimes."

Nathan gave a sardonic laugh. "Yeah, like thinking I had a chance with Elizabeth."

"How do you know you didn't? I wasn't sure I had a chance with Elizabeth when I met her and found myself attracted to her, but that didn't stop me from trying because I genuinely liked her and wanted to get to know her and be her friend. You could have done all of those things, too, but it seemed as though you wanted to control or possess her."

"Well, you two have way more in common anyway. I knew once you two started in on the library, my chances dropped…considerably."

"If you had wanted to, I think you would have found something the two of you had in common. You know, Rosemary once accused me of playing games with Elizabeth's affections, which I never did, but I wonder about you, Nathan. It's easy to be upset seeing someone else with the woman you think you want to be with, but was vying for Elizabeth's attention a game to you? I mean, if you suddenly feel the need to apologize to me, why? Do you have a guilty conscience about the way you treated Elizabeth? I don't care what you think about me or how you view me, although I'm not happy if you used me as a pawn in your game to get to Elizabeth, but if you have played any kind of a game when it comes to Elizabeth and her feelings, you owe her an apology. Big time. She agonized over both of us, Nathan, and to find out your intentions were not as honorable as you led her to believe is wrong on so many levels. You need to apologize to Elizabeth because she does care about you, Nathan."

"I know. You're right. That's….that's what I'm realizing. I see what you…I see what you and Elizabeth have, and I know it's…real. Did I want to admit that? No, of course not. But now, something…something is coming alive in me that I know I didn't feel with Elizabeth. But I am starting to have…different feelings for another woman, and I…well, I don't want to make the same mistakes."

"You're talking about Francine, aren't you?" Lucas said.

"I am."

"Is that what you want to ask me about?"

"Well, I did watch you with Elizabeth, so I thought maybe you could tell me how to…"

"You want to know how to approach Francine?" Lucas supplied, when Nathan's voice trailed off. "Is that what you're asking?"

He shrugged. "More or less."

"Nathan, just be yourself. But be honest with her. Don't play games. Just have a normal conversation. She's known you a long time, right?"

"Since we were kids."

"So, she knows your basic personality. You just need to show her the mature version of who you are. If you really like her, and you know what you are feeling is different than what you thought you felt for Elizabeth, then go with your instincts."

"I guess that's all I can do."

"It will be more than enough. Francine will know what you are doing, and if she feels what you think she may feel towards you, you'll both know it. It may take a while, but my advice is don't give up."

He'd thought about the conversation he and Elizabeth had just had and felt those words applied in this situation, too.

"I know you're glad you didn't."

"Foolishly, I actually did give up, but I believe everything worked out the way it was supposed to, thanks to Elizabeth not giving up on me. I hope the same happens for you and Francine if that's what you both want."

"Thanks, Lucas. I know you...had no reason to accept my invite, but you did. I appreciate it."

"I never wanted us to be enemies, Nathan, but I know you took an instant dislike to me. I never understood why, but I wasn't about to force you to like me or be around me. Believe me, I've tried that a few times in my life, and it doesn't work."

"I know…again, I didn't explain myself well when I tried to…apologize earlier. I would like us to talk again about that. I know I need to explain my actions and hope…you will at least try to understand."

Lucas nodded. "Fair enough. Let me know when you want to talk. And if I were you," he said, after draining his cup and standing up, ready to take his leave, "I would think long and hard about making that apology to Elizabeth. Goodnight, Nathan. Thanks for the coffee."

Bill grabbed the seat Lucas had vacated and looked at Nathan.

"Well, neither of you seem worse for wear. What was that all about?"

Nathan shook his head. "Why are you so interested in this?"

"Because I know how you feel or should I say felt about that guy. Are you friends now?"

"If you and he can call a truce, why can't I?"

Bill's gaze narrowed. "Is that what this is? A truce?"

Nathan shrugged. "Something like that. Look, Bill, I said some things to you in the heat of the moment about Bouchard that I now know were wrong, and I need to at least apologize for the very wrong and damaging assumptions I made. I know…I basically attacked his character based on my own issues. That wasn't right."

Bill looked at his friend. "Yes, I guess I can understand that. I may have done that a time or two."

"We both think a lot of Elizabeth, right?"

"True."

"So, if she wants to be with Bouchard, I mean….how bad can he be, right?"

"They have been together for a while," Bill admitted. "And I don't see Elizabeth running for the hills, so maybe you're on to something."

"Yeah. I think I'll try to be happy for them, although happy may be a stretch, but you…you know what I mean."

Bill grinned. "I think I do. I also think your friend is helping make this all easier for you. Good for you. And her."

"Well, we'll see what happens with that. I'd better finish my rounds so I can get home to Allie. Thanks, Bill."

"Anytime."

Both men stood.

"You know, Nathan. You can talk to me, too."

"I know. And maybe I will."

Bill thought about what he had said to Nathan and realized it was true. Elizabeth looked anything but like a woman who wanted to flee from the man she was with. Maybe he did need to give that more consideration. Based on his own track record with women, who was he to judge Bouchard? If he made Elizabeth happy, wasn't that all that mattered?

After moving the lamp so he could see, Lucas sat at the small table in his room prepared to read his father's letter which sat before him. As he rubbed his hands together, he recalled Elizabeth's words and the hopefulness he saw in her eyes when she told him he needed to read his father's letter. Holding the pages in his unsteady hands, he began to do just that.

Dear Lucas,

I begin this missive by saying I was surprised to receive your telegram and even more surprised by the reason. I had no idea you had gone into another venture of a very different type. I was sorry to read of the issues you are having, however, and I hope the information Alexander brings to you will assist you in resolving this very troublesome occurrence. I know, firsthand, how difficult it is to navigate through these types of rough waters. I do hope you are trying your very best to keep the business going, but in the event you find it necessary to abandon it, I have provided Alexander with information that should aid you with that decision as well.

Abandon. I don't believe I used that word by accident, son. I have felt, for at least the past few years if not longer, that I did abandon you, probably when you needed me the most. I know, as a small child and especially after your sister died, you wanted to please me, but I did not know how to respond to you. I was so lost in my own grief, and I wanted to spare your mother from her sorrow, that I know you got lost in the shuffle. At least by me. You had to find your own way, and as a young boy, that task should have never been left to you. As your father, guiding you was my responsibility, and I failed you, son. Your mother, as it turns out and deep down I knew, was a lot stronger than I was. I needed my brother to help me, and he was there for us. I wanted to resent the relationship you formed with him because I felt he was taking my place in your life, but then I realized he needed to take my place in your life because I wasn't there. For you. Now, I feel nothing but gratitude towards him for guiding you and being there for you when I had chosen not to be.

When you were older and we had gotten past some of the lost we all felt, I thought you and I would have an opportunity to reconnect. When you showed an interest in how I conducted my business and what types of investments I was making, I thought for sure you were ready to embark on a career. With me. I felt as though I had been given a second chance and that you and I would make a very successful father-son team, and I would be able to show you what it meant to me that you were my son. I wanted to give you everything I had, Lucas, and I would have, but the more you and I talked during those years, the more I realized what very different men we were. What I placed importance on, you did not. Material things, other than books, which I know you got your love of from your mother, meant very little to you. You didn't want what I wanted. I realized what I had or had not shown you as a father when you were young made you want something totally different for your own life. You wanted all of the things I couldn't give you. You wanted me, and that was the one thing I could never give you. I struggled with that knowledge and still do. I never wanted to lose you as my son, but I realized I never had you as my son. How could I lose something I never truly had?

Lucas stopped, needing a moment to breathe. He had never expected to read such raw honest words from his father. Was there hope for reconciliation? Could they move past the hurt they had caused each other? He knew he needed to keep reading to find out, but first, he needed to quell his rapid heartbeat.

After taking a few quiet moments to close his eyes and steady his breathing, he continued to read.

So I began to withdraw. I know I hurt our family by being absent more and more, but your mother was a very successful editor by then and was constantly busy doing her work. Ernie was around, so I knew my family was in good hands, but I missed you, Lucas. I couldn't or wouldn't allow myself to comprehend you didn't want or even care about what I wanted for you, so when you approached me on that fateful day and declared you had no intention of going into the family business, I banished you because I could not imagine my plans for your future were not going to work out the way I wanted them to. Again. Very selfish and self-centered, I know, and you had never been any of those things. But you were steadfast in your refusal and stood up to me in a way, I have to be honest, I never thought you would or could, and I wanted to be just as steadfast in my refusal to listen to you. All of this was to my detriment as well as to yours. I realize that now. I was so certain I knew what you needed. Even when you left, I told myself you would be back, begging to join my company and make things right with me. But that didn't happen, and now I regret, more than I can adequately express in a letter, the time you and I will never get back. As father and son.

You have made a life for yourself, and by all accounts, it is a good life. This trouble you have encountered with the oil company will pass, son. But the time you spend with the people in your life is what's most important. Especially this lovely woman I keep hearing about: Elizabeth Thornton. I am extremely happy for you, Lucas, if you have found your soul mate. I know you know what that has meant to me. Your mother has put up with way more than she should have had to, from me, but love beareth all things, and love, at its very core, has done that for us. I pray love will do that for you and Elizabeth and her son, too. Be happy and be at peace, Lucas.

I don't begrudge you your choices any longer, and I wish you nothing but success in whatever you may choose to do in and with your life. I long to see and speak with you again. As my adult son whom I love and admire for the man he has become. You did so much growing and learning on your own. I am sorry I was not the father you needed me to be when you needed me the most. That is something I don't believe I will ever be able to forgive myself for. All I can do is try to make the most of the time we have left, which I pray will be many years filled with happiness for what lies ahead for you. Your journey is truly just beginning. I hope and pray you will allow me to be a part of it. Please know I would be honored if once again you would call me your father. I miss you and I love you, my son.

The pages fell from his hands as Lucas wiped at his eyes. His father wanted a relationship with him. He was accepting of his lifestyle and his choice of Elizabeth as his potential wife, with Little Jack, too, without any recrimination for the decisions he had made, right or wrong. He seemed to understand the problems he faced with Gowen Petroleum and maybe even empathized with him. Lucas took his time absorbing all that he had read, but the one thing that stood out to him the most was that despite everything his father may have thought and believed, Lucas knew he needed to make one thing clear to him: never once, regardless of what had transpired between them, did Lucas not think of the man who had written that heartfelt letter as his father.

And Lucas knew he needed to make certain his father knew that his only son always had and always would acknowledge him as his father.