A/N: Hello y'all! I have done something incredibly different with this one, and I'm very excited at the product. It's one of my longer chapters, but I didn't think it would be appropriate to split this one up, as it really is a stand-alone in every sense of the word.

That being said, I went back and re-read the original alternate timeline chapter. I've got some minor band-aid... 'ing' to do, so the chapter after this might be delayed.

Thanks to Son of Whitebeard for the review. Also, if you're my 57th reviewer, the system is refusing to show it, so thanks, mystery reviewer!

Now, onto the chapter, which I'm stoked for!

I still don't own Doctor Who. Strangely and sadly. Well, for me, anyway. I'm sure y'all are much happier that it's owned by professionals like the BBC (should that change, give me a call).

Chapter Thirty: Turn Left Awakes

Anna appeared back in time, and immediately noted that the Tardis was covered in grief.

It oozed off of her walls, covering every inch and every part of this place. She realized that she must've accidentally appeared exactly where she hadn't meant to, which was literally two seconds after he'd lost everything.

He wouldn't understand her being there, let alone something like the television show. Teleporting out now-

But what, leaving him on his own?

She didn't know why she thought about it, then. Waking up after the angels had nearly killed her, to find herself in an empty Tardis to realize that the Doctor had died. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do, simply allowing events to play out as they had. She might've been all powerful, but Turn Left had to happen the way that it had, if only because it meant that Rose could get her happy ending. Anna had changed a lot of things in reference to his personal timeline. This wouldn't be one of them.

She quickly shook her head, starting to try to sneak out of the Tardis, about to teleport out-

"Oi!"

She raised her eyebrows, whirling around to see that the Doctor was standing at the end of the hallway.

His shoulders were rounded out and he was tense as anything. Crap, he was still wearing the War Doctor's clothing.

Seriously? She mentally cursed herself. She couldn't even come ten minutes after he'd regenerated, it had to be three seconds after he thought he'd lost everything?

"Um, hi, yeah, sorry, I- teleporting, new to it, my bad, I'm teleporting out now-"

"What, you think you can just teleport anywhere you fancy and there won't be a few words volleyed at you?"

"N-n-no, no," she told him, holding up her hands. "Seriously, no, I- really, sorry, like I just said, new to teleporting in, I'm-I'm teleporting out, now, I'm-I'm Anna, by the way, Anna Monroe, this is me, heading out, now."

She realized how easy she'd had it, before, with the Doctor who was grateful. Even if she thought that he would hate her for what she'd done and therefore tried to best prep herself for it as much as she could, it was still difficult to see him looking at her like she was enemy number one when she was anything but. Or, well, trying to be, anyway.

"Hold on," he said, and she frowned before her eyebrows raised, confusion trailing through her. "Where were you trying to end up?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Not… here?" she tried. "Seriously, I'm-"

"Bit hard to believe, considering that you've teleported into a Tardis with the shields raised to full capacity," he told her, quietly.

She let out a breath. "Okay, fine," she said. "Yes, I-I was trying to end up here, but I wasn't trying to end up here, here, aiming for somewhere a bit further into your future. I'm Anna Monroe-"

"You said that already," he cut in. "What business do you think you have with me?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows before she shook her head. "Seriously, it can wait," she told him.

"What would be the point in that?" he asked. "Might as well take care of it, right here, right now, considering you put the both of us at risk when you punched a hole straight through the Tardis, getting here."

She frowned. "No, I'm-I'm pretty sure I didn't do that," she told him. "Know how to teleport well-enough to know how to not punch a hole through a multi-dimensional being, actually, but…?" she raised her eyebrows before she shook her head.

He searched her. "You're a very good liar, you know," he said.

She shook her head. "I'm not lying."

"Yeah, but you did do, just a minute ago, when you said that you were new to teleporting."

She raised her eyebrows, before she barely nodded. "Really, I can just head out, I don't mind-"

"I do," he said. She bit her lip, frowning, when she realized she could feel the anger oozing off of him. "You really think you have any right to just teleport in here-"

She had a flash, then, of sitting in the medbay, of seeing that ninth Doctor. She'd assumed, even with everything that had happened, that he'd be grief stricken and torn apart, because of his PTSD and the fact that he'd participated in literally the biggest war in all of creation.

But that was nothing like seeing him now. The Doctor. The one who'd lost everything. Who was still standing, in spite of it.

The one she'd never see again.

Pain wracked her. She cleared her throat at the memory of the fact that she would never see that Doctor, her Doctor, again, and she raised her eyebrows, barely shaking her head.

"I'm sorry," she said, quietly, cutting him off.

"I. Am. Talking!" he shouted at her, and she raised her eyebrows before she nodded.

"Right," she said. "Right, I-"

He advanced three steps on her. "You're going to tell me how you got here and you're going to do it now," he said, and she raised her eyebrows even higher, holding up her hands.

"My name's Anna Monroe," she told him, and at the look on his face, she spoke faster. "I-I'm an all powerful being, I didn't mean to teleport here, I swear, I-"

"All powerful?" he scoffed at her. "That's a bit of a wide scope, isn't it? How'd you mean, all-powerful? And, if that is true, then what're you doing here, on my Tardis, right now?"

She held up her hands higher. "Like I said, I meant to teleport into your future. I had no intention of being here, right now. I'm sorry for that."

He searched her, seeming to see something genuine in her eyes.

"I can come back later-"

"You're here now, might as well tell me what it is you think that I owe you," he told her, and she frowned before she barely shook her head.

"You don't owe me anything," she told him. "I promise."

"Thanks," he said, sarcastically. "I'm feeling really reassured. Now, if you're done making up stories about being all powerful, do you want to tell me what it is that you're actually doing here?"

She raised her eyebrows before she quickly made a galaxy appear in front of him. He did stop at that, staring at it, before he furrowed his brows, looking over at her.

"Is that supposed to convince me of anything?" he asked her.

She quickly teleported them to said galaxy without any breathing apparatuses, floating in the open space around them. She could feel his surprise and confusion and fascination. But, she could also feel that anger that she was sure she would have to get used to.

She hadn't wanted this for him, she'd told herself. But, she was here, now. Besides, she'd always expected him to tell her to undo it. Maybe this was fate, that she was always meant to travel with a Doctor who had those scars. Maybe the best she could hope to do was help him to heal, in any way that she could.

She'd failed one Doctor. She wouldn't fail this one.

Times changed in ways she never accounted for. After their initial encounter, the Doctor had been wary of her but had wanted to keep a close eye on her (her being all-powerful being and him just coming off of the biggest war in creation and wanting to preserve the universe against any threats, perceived or otherwise, would do it). He didn't outright say it, but she knew it just by the way he was acting, because she knew him. Well, she knew a him.

At any rate, it meant that she'd ended up coming along to the whole Rose debacle, though she had tried to minimize herself as much as possible. Truth be told, she hadn't really given much thought to what she would do when Rose came along (because she knew it wasn't an if, but a when, even if she hadn't had a feeling about it. Please. It was Rose Tyler. Of course it was a when). In the end, she decided on popping out every now and again to give the pair space when she could, citing 'important all-powerful being business' that didn't actually exist and usually resulted in her just jumping to a few days or weeks into the future.

She came back on one particular day to find out that Father's Day had happened without her entirely. Although he hadn't outright shown it to Rose on the television, it turned out that he was fuming. This surprised Anna, especially when she sat down on the jumpseat, cross legged, as he vented to her.

"You've got all the power in the universe," he'd said to her. "You don't pull stunts like this, saving people what can't be saved."

She laughed a little at that, outright, but cleared her throat as he looked over at her. "You're joking, right?" she asked.

"Something you need to tell me?" he asked her.

She would occasionally feel a pang of longing, seeing the way the Doctor would move or act or do this or that, memory of the six years she'd had with her Doctor rearing their ugly head. She still hadn't quite healed from the whole debacle of failing him so spectacularly.

That pang hit her now, seeing the Doctor with a wrench in his hand, grease smeared to his face, but she pushed it aside, even as the unease drifted through her.

"I mean, no, not necessarily," she told him. "I don't break laws of time, but I don't have to." She leaned back against the jumpseat. "I can just send them to alternate dimensions where they can exist peacefully for the rest of their lives without disrupting the flow of time."

She couldn't believe she'd never thought about it before Time of Angels, but she was just happy that she'd thought about it all. Small favors, she supposed.

He frowned, searching her. "Sorry, what?"

She furrowed her brow. "I've explained this to you."

"You bloody well haven't."

He was suddenly alive, standing as he searched her, the wrench still in his hand probably more threatening- no, definitely more threatening than he meant for it to be. She held up her hands.

"Okay, sorry, I just, you know, I created an alternate dimension where I can, you know, send people what aren't supposed to live out the rest of their lives here, but they also don't have to die. You know, if it's-"

She didn't understand his pure desperation that was suddenly pouring through him and around him.

"Did you do that for… for Gallifrey?"

Until she understood, all too well.

She raised her eyebrows, opening and closing her mouth.

"O… oh," she said.

It hit her, then. Why couldn't she? Why couldn't her alternate dimension be the place- or, an alternate dimension be the place it be stored until such a time that he'd realized the solution? She thought about it, but felt a feeling rush through her, and she frowned. Crap. Okay. She couldn't, could she? No, because moving it from the pocket universe-

Oh, damn it. Damn it all.

She looked down at the grating, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"No," she said, unable to help that she felt disappointment at herself and at the situation cresting through her.

But, this wasn't her loss. Technically speaking, this wasn't either of their losses, but the Doctor had to think that it was something that he'd lost, in order for time to keep moving.

"No, I'm-…" she bit her lip, looking up at him before she shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said, quietly.

It was a wild sort of deflation, a manic desperation that was quickly trying to be toned down or turned into better energy.

"No, no, of course," he said, and he turned away. "See, this is what I mean, you can't do it, and you don't, break any rule that you fancy whenever you fancy, and that is just what's so spectacular about you, Anna Monroe, is that you have all this power and you don't abuse it whenever you feel-" he cut himself off. He'd barely nestled himself underneath the console before he suddenly popped up again. "You know what? Bloody useless sitting around here! So many sights to see, so little time!"

"What're you doing?" she asked.

"Waking up Rose!" he called back to her. "You better be sitting there when I come back, or so help me, I'll track you down myself!" He quickly ran back to the console room itself, a wild look in his eyes. "We're having an adventure!"

She couldn't help the guilt she felt at that.

Time continued to move on. Jack joined them briefly, and she actually got to know the immortal man she'd only ever seen on television. He was an outrageous flirt, and it was hilarious, how easy it was for him. Like breathing, she thought, watching him flirting with a coat check girl.

"I swear, he gets worse by the minute," Rose said suddenly popping up next to her. She glanced over at her, barely smiling, before she turned back to look at Jack.

It wasn't that her and Rose didn't get along. There was something about the two that had never quite… clicked right. She thought it probably had to do with the fact that Anna never really integrated herself into the Tardis lifestyle, always coming and going as she pleased, and Rose didn't understand that. The Doctor and the Tardis were adventure enough for her. What could Anna possibly have outside of that that could've been grander than that?

Not that she'd ever sat down and talked with the blonde about it. It had been strange enough adjusting to being inside of episodes when she'd never had to deal with it before. Traveling with Rose and the Doctor had never really been in her grand plans either, so being around Rose for the first time was a journey in and of itself.

It wasn't awkward. It just wasn't as easy as Jack made flirting appear to be.

But, having Jack around helped. She no longer felt like the third wheel, even if Jack's flirting wasn't the only thing that was completely and utterly underdone on the show. They'd mentioned how in love with the Doctor he was, but they never really got into details. As it turned out, Jack was unabashedly in love with him, even if Rose couldn't see it because she was so in love with him herself.

Anna herself had been in love with him, at one point, and even if those feelings did spark every now and again, so too did the remembrance of the pain at the fact that she'd lost a Doctor already, and although this Doctor was every bit the Doctor as hers had been, he still wasn't her Doctor.

The point was, she felt more like she belonged when Jack was around, especially because it meant that the Doctor and Rose could sneak off to their own little world and she wouldn't be stuck by herself at whatever planet they'd landed on that day.

"There's just something about you, Sparkles," Jack said (long story short, she'd gotten very drunk and had created a galaxy in front of Jack because it was very pretty, and apparently, the takeaway was that it had been sparkly, and that's what you missed on Glee). "I can't describe it. It's like… you're always expecting something. Like there's something on the other end of this for you and you're just waiting for it to happen."

She raised her eyebrows, smiling slightly. "Isn't that basically life? Like, Jack, you've just described the entire human existence- oh my gosh, Jack, you've just-"

"No, no, but I'm serious," he told her. They were currently sipping hypervodkas in the media room while Rose and the Doctor got up to who knew what. He swirled his martini glass and contemplated her entire existence. "It's like… you've got all this power and you still act like you're on the back burner of your own life."

She straightened up at that, shaking her head. "No, but that's not true," she said.

"Are you sure?" he asked, searching her. "Because it seems to me like there's a whole life here waiting for you, and you're just too scared to grab it. Well, scared's a bit the wrong word, but it's… it's like you're waiting for permission," he said. "And I'm not sure what for. You're Anna freaking Monroe," he reminded her. "You're the most powerful being I've ever come across, and considering just how much of the universe I've seen, and screwed," he threw in, because he wouldn't be Jack if he didn't, "believe me, that's saying something. What are you waiting for, Sparkles? Because permission can't be it. Nobody can give you permission to live your own life. You just gotta do it, you know?"

She raised her eyebrows, smiling slightly. "I'm not waiting for permission," she told him. "I'm waiting for the right Doctor."

It was meant to be a glib reference to something that he would say, and she'd no idea why she said it, but it was too late to take it back, especially when he raised his eyebrows.

"Which means what?"

She picked up the bottle as she got up. "It means, Jack, that the universe is wide and vast and that there is much life to be lived, and time waits for no woman."

"If you think that your spouting off three 21st century Earth fortune cookie sayings will distract me, you're sorely mistaken!" he told her, before she laughed and leaned over, kissing him on the top of his head. She searched his eyes.

"Good night, Jack."

"It could be a very good night," he agreed, able to run a hand gently along her side because she'd put herself within reach of him. "If you aim your kiss just a… little bit… lower."

She started to pull away but he caught her shirt in his hand, searching her eyes. He gently reached out, gripping her other side, before he started to gently pull her down.

"Jack-" she objected.

"If this isn't what you want, then say the word," he quickly reassured her, though he didn't release the hold he had on her. "No harm, no foul, and we can forget that this ever happened as soon as you walk out that door, I promise." He searched her eyes. "But, you can't wait your whole life for someone else to give you permission, and if that's what you're waiting for…" his eyes flicked to her lips before he started to reach up.

She hadn't been with anyone since her Doctor. Pain flashed through her chest, because even being an all powerful being didn't make her impervious to pain.

No, she thought. It could make her impervious to pain. She could choose to be distant and cold and to never feel another thing again, pain included. But, if she wanted to be the right kind of being of power, she had to let herself feel that pain. No matter how much it burned through her and made her feel broken.

"There was someone else," she said, quietly.

"Who?" he asked. Anna's eyes were closed, now, but she could feel his breath barely fanning her face.

"The Doctor."

The name fell out of her mouth without her say so.

Suddenly, the whole story came pouring out. Or, as much of the story as she could tell, anyway, without exposing Jack to unnecessary secrets that he shouldn't have to keep. She told him about being in a different timeline with the Doctor, how she'd saved Gallifrey in that one and ended up traveling with him before events had taken her from him and he'd ended up dying because she'd failed him.

"I guess not because I failed him," she finally (and miraculously) admitted, picking at her nails as she looked down at her hands. "It was always meant to happen," she said, softly, even as she hated the words. "It's just hard sometimes, being what I am and accepting that sometimes, people have to be in pain for the universe to keep turning."

"That's a bit of an oversimplification of things," he told her, softly, and she smiled slightly before she shook her head.

"What, nothing else to say? No, my god, Anna, you mean you actually-"

"You're Anna Monroe," he told her. "I'm surprised you haven't done a lot more, actually, all things considered. It does make sense, though, now, about what I said. You're waiting for permission to love a man that you lost."

She opened her mouth to object before she remembered the Doctor, the one in the future who'd looked at her so hopefully and so eagerly, and she closed her mouth again.

"Maybe I am," she said, quietly.

"But you love him already," he said. "Even if you won't admit it, you do," he said.

"Look who's talking," she said without thinking about it, looking up at him before she bit her lip, looking back down.

She was and wasn't surprised when she heard Jack moving to her, when she felt a gentle hand on her leg.

"Let's do ourselves both a favor, then," he said, gently sliding his hand up her leg. She bit her lip harder. "Just for tonight, let's give ourselves permission to forget him. God knows he's probably forgotten about us by now."

She put her hands on his chest, her eyes flicking up to look at his, to see the sincerity and something that could've been desperation but also, she knew, wasn't.

"We're not doing this for the right reasons," she said, quietly.

He scooted closer to her, gently maneuvering himself until he was pressed up against her. "If you think that's what sleeping with someone is about, you've been sleeping with the wrong kind of people." His head dipped down to her neck and he pressed a gentle kiss against the side of her neck, her cheek, her lips. She allowed it, for a moment, allowing herself to give in. She imagined, then, what the other side of this would look like. Her, having slept with the actual Captain Jack Harkness. She started to push against his chest harder… before she realized that she'd no idea why she was.

"Tell me that it doesn't mean anything," she told him, quietly. "That it'll just be for tonight, and that's it, and in the morning, it'll be like it never even happened."

He gently tilted her head back, whispering in her ear. "You took the words right out of my mouth."

As she started to kiss him, as things progressed, she couldn't get it out of her head. This thought that, after Rose had disappeared from the Doctor's life (and what a painful and complicated that thought was all by itself), Anna would've been… whatever she was to him, and known that she slept with Jack, of all people.

She had no guarantees that they would be anything more than what they already were, and that aside, being more than that wasn't what she wanted, anyway. This Doctor was different from the one that she had known, in so many ways. If she got together with this one, even as unlikely as it was, it would be like she was replacing her Doctor.

She didn't want that.

She didn't want this, either.

"I'm sorry," she told Jack, pushing him off of herself.

"Hey," he said, and she looked over to see the reassurance on his face. "It's fine. Like I said, no harm, no foul."

She barely smiled. "You really are a diamond in the rough, you know that?"

"Look who's talking," he said, and his eyes flicked down to her lips, probably simply out of habit and not out of any intention of actually doing anything.

Still, it wouldn't do to tempt fate, and she quickly stood, walking from the room and putting Jack behind her.

Or trying to, anyway.

"Sparkles," he said, and she raised her eyebrows, looking back at him. He wasn't looking at her. "What you said, about sometimes people needing to be in pain to make the universe go round." He looked back at her. "I don't think it's as simple as that."

She smiled sadly. "Good night, Jack."

"No, Sparkles, listen," he said, and she looked down at the floor, but she didn't exit the room. "It's not that people need to feel pain to make the universe go round. They just need to be alive for that to happen." He shrugged. "Sometimes, pain is just a byproduct of being alive. That doesn't mean that pain is a necessary evil, because it's not morally good or bad. Sometimes, it just is." He smiled. "For what it's worth."

"Well," she said, patting the door jamb. "Thank you." She searched the ground, looking over at him as she raised her eyebrows. "For what it's worth."

He leaned over the couch, probably doing his best to look as enticing as possible before she disappeared forever from the night and the bubble of possibility that it had created.

"Good night, Sparkles."

"Good night… Fortune Cookie."

He laughed at that, and she laughed too before she turned from the room, leaving him behind.

He'd be gone from the Tardis just a few short weeks later, but he'd never leave her mind. Not completely.

But, time did trudge on, and the Doctor regenerated.

In a lot of ways, it was easier being around this Doctor. For one thing, her and Rose's dynamic shifted drastically. In those first few hours post-regeneration, Rose acted like she and Anna were old war buddies, having gone through a similar trauma. In fairness to her, it was traumatic. It was one thing to see it on television and even to mentally prepare herself for it. It was another thing entirely to see the Doctor switch from being big ears and leather jacket one second and turn into a new man the next. Jarring wasn't a good enough word to describe it, and she'd been expecting it. Rose hadn't.

So, Rose made sure that Anna was in her sight, checking in on her and silently grieving their loss (even if it wasn't necessarily Anna's loss to grieve).

It was immediately obvious, when the Doctor woke up, that this new body of his was electric. He oozed charisma out of every pore, and it almost would've made her laugh if she wasn't so relieved. Here he was, the Doctor, and she could now be around him without having to stare at the face of a dead man she still grieved.

Instead, it was the new new Doctor, rude but still not ginger (or, she supposed, rude but not ginger. Still not ginger would come along, given some time, and what a thought that was).

Even seeing him flirt with Rose put her at ease. Like she'd said, he was the Doctor, but it no longer felt like she had any romantic claim to him, so seeing him and Rose flirt didn't break her heart (even if there was no part of her that had even known that was a thing that had happened).

It was especially easier being around this Doctor because she could change things, now. It started on that very day, with the Sycorax ship. She'd been all set and prepared to watch it be blown to absolute bits, but she'd been surprised with the stirring of a feeling, and she quickly shot out a shield at what might've been the absolute last second. She turned to Harriet Jones, Prime Minister, to see the look on her face. Harriet didn't know the extent of her powers. Just enough to know that Anna was the only one that could be behind this sudden miracle (though, judging by the look on her face, nothing about this was miraculous for Harriet).

"Sorry, didn't feel like witnessing a genocide via the terrified acts of one person," she told her, though she'd no idea if it actually was genocide. She doubted it. What sort of race carried their entire species on one ship? For a start, it was just bad planning.

"That wasn't your decision to make!" Harriet said. "You have no idea the repercussions of those actions-"

The Doctor laughed.

She'd genuinely forgotten about him for a second, and when she turned to look at him, she saw the look on his face. It was manic and it was gratitude and it was anger, all rolled up into one package that only David Tennant himself would've been able to portray.

"Did you really just say that to Anna Monroe of all people?" he asked, and he looked over at her. "Seriously, who does she think she's talking to?"

"You're not always here, Doctor, and today-"

He looked back at Harriet Jones, Prime Minister. "Today proved that I don't always need to be here to protect the Earth. Anna Monroe just did that all on her own, protecting the Earth from the likes of an example like you, the woman who would've shot an alien race in the back because she was a little scared." He searched her eyes, fire lighting up in his. Strangely, it was the first time that she recognized him as the Doctor she'd once known. "I gave them the wrong warning," he said. "I should've told them to run, as fast as they can, because monsters like you are coming, the humans so afraid of change that they'd rather kill than understand."

"Those are the people that I represent," she said.

"No," Anna spoke up. "You don't. You're meant to represent the best and the brightest of them. The ones who look forward to a future where they aren't just looking up at the stars, they're walking amongst them."

"Oh, and what a pretty, naïve notion that is," Harriet said. "You must think so highly of yourself. Look at you, Ms. Monroe, protecting even the cruelest of aliens from the wrath of those trying to protect the very innocent people they used as nothing more than bargaining chips. They would've enslaved us and killed us, and who's to say they won't do just that, now that you've let them run off back to the stars to mount a better defense? Who's to say that they won't tell everyone all about the 'defended Earth'? Who's to say that there are those who won't take that as a challenge, and come back, and do much worse?"

She shrugged. "You don't have that guarantee," she said. "But, then again, nobody has the guarantee that you won't go out tomorrow and be hit by a bus. Life is not meant to be lived in fear. It is meant to be lived in the excitement of possibility. And, I'm sorry that the woman who's supposed to usher in Britain's Golden Age can't see that."

"What does that make you, then, Ms. Monroe? Another threat?"

She was surprised by what the Doctor did next.

He went into full on battle mode, standing up tall. "Don't challenge her, because I'll tell you what. She won't be the one taking you up on that challenge. I will, and I'm a completely new man. I could bring down your government with a single word."

"You're the most remarkable man I've ever met, but I don't think you're quite capable of that."

"One single word," he told her, and Anna frowned. What about the six words that were supposed to do it? Why was he claiming he could do it in one?

Well, whatever his claims, his one word whispered into Harriet's right hand man's ear did the trick.

She never found out what it was, and it felt impertinent to ask, especially because they all moved on from it so quickly.

But, then again, that was life on the Tardis. Threatening Britain's government one moment, and then joyfully bumping into her the next as they walked away from a disgraced prime minister, celebrating that she'd saved the lives of thousands of Sycorax, off to celebrate her first Christmas with the new Doctor.

Well. The new, new Doctor, at any rate.

It was the first change she made, but it wasn't the last. She saved people she'd been so sure she wouldn't be able to. The nun in the new Earth hospital, for one. For two, the numbers at the Torchwood estate went way down, nearly twenty percent less than what had been originally. For three, Girl in the Fireplace hadn't even occurred at all, now.

It was things like that, things she'd thought she wouldn't be able to change but had. It made it easier to be around the Doctor, knowing that she could save more than she couldn't.

There was also the fact that he was adamant she be included more. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd been on a jaunt away from the pair, despite the fact that this was when he was supposed to already be madly in love with Rose. Why wouldn't he want her to allow them to have some time together, just the two of them?

No, except, why would he? This might've been the Doctor that loved Rose Tyler more than anything, but this was also the Doctor that had lost more than anybody should. Accepting, fully and completely, that he was in love with Rose would be like playing with fire.

And, it was. Because it was the three of them until it wasn't.

Doomsday came. Things changed there as well, with Pete Tyler not coming in at the last second and catching her. She was surprised to find that she'd actually manually had to send Rose to Pete's World in order to save her life.

What was even more surprising was that, when all was said and done, after the Doctor had had the conversation that had ended with, "Rose Tyler-," it wasn't Donna Noble that was stood in the console room.

It was the woman that had replaced her in the Turn Left timeline.

For a long moment, Anna just stared at her. She just stared and stared and stared.

"Um. What?"

It hit her, then. Anna hadn't ended up in the timeline she was meant to be in. Somehow, she'd ended up in the Turn Left alternative once more.

"Oh, god."

She looked over at the Doctor and realized that she was about to have to let him die.

Her heart shattered into a thousand pieces at the thought, and the confusion splayed across his face wasn't just about the woman standing in the console room. No. Instead, it was also about the fact that Anna looked like someone had just killed the man she loved.

She didn't think about it. She couldn't. Instead, she teleported out.

She found herself once again standing on the Doctor's Tardis, grief oozing off the walls. There were a lot of questions that she had, about what had happened, why she'd ended up in the Turn Left timeline again when that wasn't supposed to happen. The fact that she'd had to let another Doctor die hurt worse than she'd accounted for, and she started to once again teleport off the Tardis, to give herself a minute, before she realized that wasn't happening.

"Oi!" a voice called from the other end of the hallway.

"Christ," she whispered, looking back at the Doctor, the one still wearing the War Doctor's clothing. "Hi, sorry," she said.

"Sorry?" he mocked her. "For what?"

"Teleporting here. Meant to get to a future you. My bad, I'll just-"

"Hold on, you think you can just punch a hole through my Tardis and you get to just run off and not hear a few choice words about it?"

"For god's sake, I didn't just-" she started, her upset and grief pouring through into her words. She stopped herself at the last second.

Her own grief wasn't the one that got to take precedence here. She hadn't lost a planet. She'd failed two Doctors.

She wouldn't fail this one.

Except, she did.

She lived a whole other life with this Doctor, the ninth Doctor that she'd already failed twice, and the tenth Doctor she'd failed once, living the same timeline over again, just to get to the other end of the painful Doomsday to see that awful bloody woman's face. It was the Donna Noble replacement.

Not Donna Noble.

Which meant that she'd ended up in the Turn Left timeline. Again.

"What the-"

She teleported out, to the right timeline.

"Oi!" she heard the Doctor say, and she turned back to look at him.

"Okay, before your silly little self rants about me punching holes into your Tardis, I did no such thing. No, I didn't mean to teleport here, but no, I by no means think that I'm about to get off scot free, even though teleporting here was an accident. Sorry. I'm Anna Monroe, by the way. Hello. Lovely to meet you."

And, it was.

Until it wasn't.

Because, no matter how many times she teleported, she always found herself in the Turn Left timeline.

It wasn't until the twelfth one that she'd gotten the idea to check, as soon as she landed, to see that she had made it to the Turn Left timeline. Again.

A possibility occurred to her that had never occurred to her, even as the Turn Left Doctor started to ask if she were deaf and did she really think that she could punch holes in his Tardis and get away with it scot free?

Because for every timeline version of Anna, there was a Turn Left version. But, there was something that she'd never accounted for. Because the Turn Left versions would never remember the correct timeline, because they had never had a chance to live in a timeline but the Turn Left timeline. It meant that there would always be an Anna who would only ever remember the Turn Left versions. And, that Anna just happened to be her.

So, what did she do? She couldn't keep putting herself through this. She was Anna Monroe, the woman who was able to do anything, and she'd been unable to save one man thirteen times, and why? So that Rose Tyler could have her happy ending? So that a different version of herself could live her happily ever after, eventually finding out what they would end up being? Twelve different versions of her, all getting twelve different versions of the same happy ending… and she never would. Because that was this Anna Monroe's lot in life. That was her purpose. It was to exist and perpetually fail the man that she claimed to love, over and over again, the most magnificent man in the universe and she couldn't even save one measly version of him.

But what if she did, she wondered? Just once. Just one timeline, just to see what would happen.

Except, she realized, she could reach the correct timeline. She was the Anna that would get to see what she would become. She was giving up her own happy ending, messing up another happy ending, which was the version prior that had spawned her.

But, was it fair to the Anna that came after her? The one that would be stuck in an eternal loop of always living through the Turn Left timeline?

They had to stop this cycle, somehow. She just didn't know how.

It was time to bring in the big guns.

It was time to find Anna.

It was more than just about finding an Anna, though. She went to the prior one. Anna 12, she was calling her, in honor of The Magicians.

"No, that would've been a really good idea!" she said, standing in the Chen market place. "Why didn't I think of that? How does that work, anyway, that you had an idea that I didn't have?"

"It's like-"

"Driving down the same road but driving a little bit further along and deciding to turn left instead of right, yeah, you're right, point being, I can't believe we didn't think about that, either, considering our track records when it comes to believing in happy endings and all." Anna 12 looked over at the Doctor contemplatively, and Anna 13's heart ached. She wanted that. She wanted a Doctor that she had saved.

But, not if it came at the cost of creating an Anna 14. She wouldn't do this to anyone else.

"What do I do?" she asked, looking back at Anna 12.

"Well," she said. "I mean, you could just-…" she looked up and to the left of herself. "I'm not sure I'd be down with that, considering that it would be like killing, well, Anna 14, I suppose," she said, and she looked down at Anna 13. "I was about to suggest making sure that Anna 14 doesn't get made, but I mean, that's the textbook definition of the Trolley problem right there, isn't it? Technically speaking?"

"Okay, so what do I do?"

She shrugged. "You could always consult the Original Anna."

She frowned. "What for?"

"Because Original Anna doesn't have artefacts like we do."

She frowned even deeper. "What… what?"

"Think about it," she said. "When you make a copy of something-"

"But we're not copies."

"Fine," she said. "But there's still bound to be some damage, even in cases of just creating alternate timeline versions of yourself. Imperfections that get passed along. Ooh, or maybe the opposite happens, like… No, but that wouldn't work, either, because- you get my point," Anna 12 said.

"I'm not sure I do, but I'm not sure that consulting Original Anna is necessary," she said. "Besides which, weren't Original Anna's powers off when Anna 1 visited her?"

"Yeah, did we ever get an explanation about why that was?"

"Something about unconditional love and trust, of which I'm finding it harder and harder to grasp," she said, bitterly.

"Hey," Anna 12 said, and she looked up at her. "We'll figure this out. Promise. Just need to- Okay, hey!" she said, as the Doctor came over to her.

It felt wrong to be near him, in the way that this was bone deep and she just knew that he wasn't hers.

He looked between the two of them before his eyes landed on Anna 12.

"Do you want to tell me why you're conversing with an Anna from a different timeline?"

Anna 12 looked startled, and Anna 13 couldn't blame her because she was startled as well.

"You can tell that just by looking at her?"

"Shut up, course I can," the Doctor said, glancing over at Anna 13. "Be a bit of a rubbish time lord if I couldn't differentiate between timeline versions. Everything all right?" he asked, looking at Anna 13.

She bit her lip before she shook her head, looking down.

"No," she said, honestly. "Everything is not all right."

"Can you give us a minute?" Anna 12 asked, and her heart yearned for him to say no because, despite the fact that he wasn't hers, he was still alive and was a version that she hadn't failed.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Let me know if you need anything?"

"Course, sure, see you in a minute!"

She didn't look up at him, worrying her bottom lip as she heard him speaking.

"Yeah, see you in a minute."

A moment later, Anna 12 spoke to Anna 13. "Look, whatever the solution is, you're not going to find it here. Just head back to Anna 1. I'm sure she'll be able to help you."

She frowned, looking up at her. "Why can't you help me?"

She shrugged. "Honestly, genuinely, because it's not my mess to clean up," she said.

Anna 13 felt a shock roll through her.

"That's never stopped us before."

"Look, I'm happy here," she told Anna 13. "Happy in a way that I never thought that I would be, and quite honestly, I don't want to clean up a mess that I had no part in creating. I-" realization crested through Anna 12 at the same time that hurt ricocheted through Anna 13, about always being the one that people didn't want to help, about always being the one that got left behind, about always being the one who'd be left holding the bag and that was her lot in life. "Oh, no, no, ixnay on that, haha, I'm an idiot, it's a feeling!" she looked back down at Anna 13. At the look on her face, she held up her hands. "No, no, serious-seriously, it's-it's a feeling, you won't find the solution here, it'll be with Anna 1, I promise!" She reached out, grasping onto her shoulders. "Chin up, eh? You're doing exactly what we always thought we would do, which is to do the kindest possible thing." She felt surprise roll through her. "How easy would it be to simply accept your happy ending and let this be another Anna's problem? But you aren't," she said. "Because you are trying to find the solution that creates a happy ending for everyone. You are the very definition of amazing."

She smiled, looking down at the ground, before she looked back up. She looked over and saw the Doctor not so discreetly trying to keep an eye on them, and she looked back at Anna 12.

"Take care of him," she told her counterpart.

"Couldn't pay me enough not to," she told her, and they both shared a smile at that. "Now, get a shift on. Anna 1's waiting."

She wasn't, but Anna 13 had found a new purpose. No longer would she be the Anna that got left behind. Instead, she would be the one that solved everything.

She could only hope, as she teleported to Anna 1, that that would actually be the case.

At the sight of the ring happily sitting on Anna 1's finger, she couldn't really help the, "Oh, I hate you." It just flew out of her mouth without her say so, because all that she could picture was the happy ending that she'd never gotten.

Anna 1 just looked at her bizarrely. "Or, hello, as people used to say."

"Sorry, sorry, just… do you remember how you felt, when you saw the ring on Anna… 's finger? Like she'd just replaced him?"

"… Can I have a little bit more context?" she asked.

"I'm-"

She quickly dove into the explanation. By the end of it, Anna 1 was looking horribly guilty.

"How did we not think of that?" she asked, looking up at Anna 13.

"I genuinely don't know," she said. "Maybe it's really true that some things have to be lived, they can't be told."

Anna 1 shook her head. "Maybe," she said, and she looked down. "This might be something for… what did you call her, Original Anna?"

"What?" she asked. "Why?"

"Because I'm not sure what to do here."

"Okay, but you're Original Anna, and so am I, and so is Anna 12 and so is Anna whatever else. We are all Original Anna. The only difference is, I've lost more Doctor's than she has."

Anna 1 looked at her, furrowing her brow. "If you really believe that, then why are you standing in front of me?"

"Because I need more help than just one brain," she told her. "I need two of me."

"Or, maybe, what we need is someone outside of us. Right? Like a different perspective? Like the Doctor?"

Anna 13 had been doing a spectacular job of keeping it together. Even seeing Anna 12's version of him hadn't reduced her to anything more than uncomfortable.

So why was even the mere mention of Anna 1's Doctor enough to send her into a sobbing mess?

"But- I don't- what's wrong?" Anna 1 asked.

"I just- I can't do this anymore. I can't keep failing him, I just, I can't-"

"Hey, okay, then you won't!" Anna 1 said. "We'll figure something out, I promise, we- that's just bad timing."

"Or, hello, as people used to say."

Anna 13 automatically stood.

It was jarring, to say the least, to only see two regenerations of the Doctor for 12 versions, only to get to the 13th and see a different regeneration. There was no good way to explain why, just that seeing this version of the Doctor… it was more than unnerving. It put her on edge. It wasn't just weird, it was wrong, somehow. She didn't know how or why. She just knew that it was.

"Do you want to explain to me why a different timeline version of you is standing in the console room, crying?" he asked, glancing between the two of them.

He was currently in his Clara outfit and she wondered, in a tiny corner of her mind, if Clara was still the Impossible Girl, and what it would be like to keep that secret. Over time, the secrets she'd had to keep had gotten easier. What would it be like, she wondered, to keep new secrets? What would it be like, to live a whole other life? It felt like so long ago and so far away that she'd been the Anna who'd lived her six years with the Doctor. Who was she now, she wondered? Was she still Anna? Or was she someone else entirely?

Anna 1 was not on the same train of thought.

"You can tell that just by looking at her?"

Realization lit her up from the inside out. "It's easier to tell, too, the further away from a timeline a person gets," she said, and the Doctor looked over at her, scrutinizing her. "I can feel it, how wrong it is, like…" she furrowed her brow. "Not like he shouldn't exist, but we shouldn't be existing in the same place."

The Doctor instantly relaxed at that. "Okay, good, it is you!" he said. "I was worried there for a mo that we'd had another psychic infestation. What can I do for you?" he asked, before he frowned. "No, but hold on, I thought- why aren't you with your Doctor?"

She felt a deep seeded misery flowing through her. "Because I'm the version of Anna that's only ever experienced the Turn Left version of events, and I'm trying to figure out how to make it so that I don't have to experience this again, because even if I get my happy ending, Anna 14 will only ever remember the Turn Left version of events before- except, it's almost like this version, the Turn Left version, is an Anna unto herself. And she doesn't like existing this way, so she- I, sorry, I thought I'd do something about that. Tried to get to Anna 12 but she directed me to Anna 1, so here I am."

"Sorry, just to clarify, Turn Left is…?"

"The episode where Donna created- ha, Donna created, where that alternate timeline- parallel timeline? Was created around Donna."

"Right- Oh, dear," the Doctor said, realization crossing his face as he turned to look at Anna 1. "How did you two not think about that- hold on, you said you'd visited Anna 12? What does that make you, Anna 13?"

She nodded miserably.

Realization crested through his eyes. "Wow, that's-that's just- I'd give you a hug but if you're feeling the wrongness from here I don't think it'll help much. Crickey, Anna, the things you do to yourself sometimes," he said, and he rubbed at his forehead before he looked over at Anna 1. "Is there a way you can fix it?"

"That's what we're currently trying to figure out. We were just about to call you in for this little pow-wow, actually. Any ideas?"

"Off the top off of my head? The obvious answer is to just make it so that Anna 14 doesn't come into being, so the line of Anna's ends with Anna 13."

"That would be like killing her," Anna 13 pointed out.

"Meh, only very technically," he said, waving his hand back and forth. "Because technically that's like saying any possibility you didn't make happen would be a version that you would've killed, and that isn't accurate at all," he pointed out.

"No, because I'm not actively seeking out to make sure that a specific Anna doesn't exist in that scenario, whereas in that version of events, I'd be the reason that she doesn't exist."

"Okay, well," he said. "In that case, you could just head to a timeline where, oh, what did you call it, Turn Right?"

"Turn Left, which is actually the whole point of the episode."

"Right, what?" he asked, looking over at Anna 1. "What does that mean?"

"Did Donna not explain this to you?"

"She didn't really delve into details, no. Explained the gist of it, but said it was fading like a dream, if I recall correctly, which I usually do in these scenarios, so. Point being, what? How can 'turn left' be the whole point of an… 'episode'?"

"Right, so because Donna turned left instead of right, she ended up meeting you, saving your life, all that good stuff. It's actually a really cool concept, exploring the idea of how little actions can have big impacts on our lives."

"Yeah, but did you really- I mean, you, of all people, really need a television show to tell you that?"

"I was, like, thirteen at the time that it aired? Though, honestly, probably not, because let's face it, it's me, and I'm always amazing."

She cleared her throat. "Can we get back to the point at hand?"

"Just as soon as you tell me what the point was, I'd love to do that!" the Doctor said, looking back at her.

Looking at him, she wanted to burst out crying again. Not because it felt wrong to be in the same room as him (because honestly, it was bearable), but because this was a Doctor that had gotten to live, who'd gotten to experience life and she'd never seen a Doctor who'd made it past 903.

"No, right, I remember!" he said, suddenly. "Turn Right- nope, sorry, Turn Left, which is the whole point, eh, see, I'm catching on," he said, half-winking at her. She tried for a smile that ended up feeling more like a grimace, and at that, he seemed to get a bit more serious. "But, the point is, you can probably end up in a timeline where Turn Left never happened."

She frowned, searching him. "Sorry, what?" she asked, speaking around the lump in her throat that hadn't quite disappeared from her need to cry.

"Well, yeah," he said. "An infinite number of possibilities and all that, why wouldn't there be a timeline where Turn Left never existed?"

She felt absolute astonishment racing through her, and she turned to look at Anna 1. "Can you kiss him for me?"

Anna 1 laughed at that. "Happily," she said. "Before that happens, though, why don't you head out and find a Doctor of your own?"

She started to before she paused, looking between the two. "Okay, but what about-"

"Hey," he said. "I already know what you're about to say. What about all the Doctor's who never met you and had to feel that loss without you there to help them through it? As someone who has lived both lives, I can tell you now that, given the choice between having an Anna in my life but knowing that the cost was having an Anna who was forced to watch me die, and having no Anna at all, I can tell you now that the latter will always be preferable, for the simple fact that my happiness is not worth the suffering that Turn Left Anna will have to go through for the rest of time." He searched her, smiling slightly. "Do me a favor. Find the version of the Doctor that's free of Turn Left, and make sure he knows exactly how lucky he is to have you in his life. Will you do that? For me?"

She felt a full bodied relief flow through her and she nodded. "Thank you," she said.

"No, Anna," he said. "Thank you. For everything you've done for me and for everything you continue to do." He did his half-wink at her once more and, instead of the desolation she had felt before, she felt a thrill run through her. "Good luck."

She smiled widely. "You too," she told him.

It was with those words that she teleported away.

It was easy to find a non Turn Left version of the Doctor. She felt relief in untold measure falling through her when she checked, just to be sure, and came up that it was the right one. She'd finally ended up where she was meant to be.

Not even standing in the Tardis and feeling her oozing with grief, or hearing the Doctor's "Oi," for the 14th time could deter her from that relief. She turned around to look at him, unable to help the smile on her face.

"Hello," she said. "I'm Anna Monroe. I've come to help you."

"What, by punching a hole in my Tardis?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up, I haven't done," she told him. "The only thing I've done is teleport in much sooner than I meant to, so sorry about that. Don't worry," she said, holding up her hands in 'surrender'. "I'll be sure not to run off before you've had a go at me for teleporting in uninvited. Cross my heart."

"Well, it's rude!" he said. "You can't just go teleporting in wherever you like. How have you done, though? Because you're right, you didn't punch a hole through the Tardis to do, and that is a feat when the shields are up to a maximum capacity, which they are."

"Well, considering I'm an all powerful being, it wasn't half the feat you're making it out to be- though, let me be clear, I didn't mean to come in uninvited. That's not how I roll," she told him.

"Oh?" he asked. "How do you 'roll', then?"

She smiled, and she felt as if she might never not be smiling again.

It was only with remembrance of who this Doctor was that she felt her smile dimming, and even then, it was only out of respect for his pain. This was the Doctor that thought he'd lost his entire world, and more than that, that he was the one who'd pulled the veritable trigger.

That was okay, though. Or rather, it would be, because Anna would do what she had always done.

She would help him, for however long and in whatever capacity she could, for the rest of his life.

And what a long life that would be.

A/N: As always, thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!