To Be Determined Later: Notes
Chapter I Never Explain Anything
—All chapter titles are taken from the books Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins Comes Back, Peter Pan and Alice Through the Looking-Glass. Some earlier chapter titles are from the Mary Poppins 1964 movie but didn't appear in the books. I believe "Never Explain Anything" is a rare one that was both in the movie and the first book.
the Vons on East Harbor Boulevard in Ventura, California
—If you haven't looked it up yet, this is a real location of a Vons... the Vons on East Harbor Boulevard. There's also a Trader Joe's near by.
All the famous Sagittarian writers listed are accurate.
"Wait, hold on. You can actually see me?"
—This is from a meme I run into sometimes.
"Are you ok?"
—Writing text messages in Times New Roman font that turns into a fanfic, IDK... There are a lot of ways you could make text messages differ from regular prose or dialogue text. I narrowed it down to the two that I was comfortable with: using it as dialogue (quotation marks), and, typically if mentioned in the past-tense, I put them in italics. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Wasn't there a lunch counter, breakfast bar kind of thing back in the day?
—I tend to make things up as I go along that aren't in the show... Harkening back to the opening from Brought to You by Murder, with Little Shawn and Little Gus, I vividly remember writing in some sort of center-island counter type thingy, but it didn't seem to exist in the show. Yeah but I'll repeat this a lot, sometimes what you write in fanfic doesn't echo what was in the show... and sometimes that's the point.
a JJ Cale song sped through his head
—"Someday" by JJ Cale. It's easier to find the Mark Knopfler/Eric Clapton version on the Tubes. Worth looking up.
mostly empty of Civil War tomes, the Shaaras, and Murakami
—Michael and Jeff Shaara wrote a lot of Civil War books. Think I've mentioned them in other Psych fics. Haruki Murakami is a best-selling Japanese author of surrealist fiction. His best known work might be Kafka on the Shore. I haven't read any of his stuff. I wanted to use a writer that was far from the Civil War stuff but also obscure enough to make you wonder if the author was a) real; b) if Lassiter had ever actually heard of him; c) if it was something that Lassiter might've read because he i) thought Shawn would or had; ii) because Victoria insisted that he read it; iii) neither of these; iv) both of these.
Platypus Park
—I wish I could remember how Platypus Park got its name. Anyway, it's been in all my Psych fic, I think, but I can't really suggest a real-life equivalent in Santa Barbara. It's a little like Jeanine's, at the corner of State St and N Ontare Rd, but bigger, and more wood decor. There's a wooden cutout of a platypus on one wall. It's more loft style, with some black metal work in the ceiling especially, and a lot of woodwork around the whole cafe. Platypus Park has a big seating area inside, with the work counter and bakery display in the back of the shop. Windows along the front and the southeastern side. The entrance is in the middle, emergency exits in the back and along the southeastern side. It's a stand-alone building, close to other buildings. The original building might've once been a bank.
Drives a Mercedes, E-class.
— I think only car nerds would get why saying "E-class" is relevant.
"Hey, Dobson."
—I don't know how many times Dobson was actually mentioned in the show. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one: S2E09 Bounty Hunters! When Lassiter is giving the team around him tasks while Dwayne Tancana is on the run, Dobson is mentioned, but I believe he is off screen. I've always enjoyed fleshing out his character. Later in this story we find out that his real first name is Jack. (Obviously, it wasn't in the series.) He's actually one of my favorites to write (or I wouldn't write him), with his wishy-washy indecisiveness and his constantly fluctuating weight and his super-hot firefighting honey bun. Since I never watched the series after season 6, I don't know if he was ever used more often.
Chapter 2, We Are Not A Codfish (Mary Poppins)
Although they say that on basic cable now, you know.
—I believe this is true. I know the show "Suits" did a whole lot to push swear-words onto basic cable, although Suits started its first season in June 2011, so it wasn't on the air yet in May 2011. The second season of Rizzoli & Isles ushers in that show's use of the S-word, and it premiered in July 2011.
He wasn't Barbara Gordon or Marilu Henner, he didn't remember every day of his life.
—Barbara Gordon from Batman. In some mythos she has an eidetic memory. So does Marilu Henner, not Batman mythos (why not?), who can remember every day of her life. Someone please write a Batman fanfic (Batman Beyond, anyone?) that features Marilu Henner.
Chapter 3, Teach Me to Sing (Peter Pan)
He'd fixed the toaster last week, before Adrian left, and there'd been a splurge of Pop Tarts consumption ever since
—There was some episode (season 2?) of the show Lucifer in which Pop Tarts were mentioned and eaten, I believe, and this stemmed from that. Pop Tarts are a weird contagious food. If you see someone eating one, you want one. Or is that just me? Might just be me.
"I'm really more fond of their almond kringle."
—If you haven't heard of almond kringle, I'm truly sorry. If you're wondering where I heard of almond kringle, there's a chain of grocery stores here that makes it at their bakery and sells it and its delicious and so, so bad for you but I don't caaaare...
That Shawn had stayed more than four years in Santa Barbara, his hometown, was peculiar.
—I think my time was a little off, but I'm not worried. I think it gets worse as the story goes on... haha, continuity is a demon that has such an evil cackle... and then it eats almond kringle.
"You don't ask me what happened... You know the answer to that."
—Ah, the first of many "monologues" in this story!
What about you? Kinsey-six?
—To be honest, I hated this whole bit of dialogue and wanted to take it out. Unfortunately, I figured it probably added something to the story, it was also culture-relevant, and left it in—against my better judgment. I have had people ask me where I am on the Kinsey scale before. It's kind of annoying. More irrelevant information: According to the Kinsey Institute, there is no "Kinsey Test" to measure homosexuality. However, there's a fun one on Buzzfeed you can take. If you're curious, I took it and got "equal parts homosexual and heterosexual."
"Yeah, he did. He really did."
—If anyone hurts you, he did something wrong. Don't ever believe he didn't, even if he is egomaniacal enough to believe that he didn't. He did. It's now known as the "Doing Nothing Wrong Paradox." Or the DNWP.
"There's a guy down in holding. Won't talk."
—I had no idea what this story was about when I started writing it, then I got to this line.
Oh, yeah. Old Speakeasy. Like at the Tanglevine Club.
—Blatant ALAS reference.
I should get off the phone.
—Gus and Shawn kept trying to get off the phone but never really hung up when they said they would. Love them.
Even his father wouldn't tell him what was in the Super Secret Room.
—Brought to You by Murder reference.
IV. Cages Of All Sizes And Shapes (Peter Pan)
Once a man, now The Body.
—I went back and forth on whether "The Body" should be capitalized. Throughout the rest of the story, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.
Was he blushing, or embarrassed? Neither? Lassie knew way too much about him
—The idea of "coming out of the closet" doesn't really work if you're not, you know, a big-time celebrity and poof, wow, everyone now knows you're gay (or what you will). The truth is, you come out of the closet, so to speak, every time you talk to someone who doesn't know, any new person you make friends with, and anyone/everyone around you. It makes sense that Shawn would be a trifle embarrassed—you have to go through that again and again with everyone you know. File Under: Things straight people don't get.
a standard Bic with grip stripes at the end
—I guess it's fairly obvious that I'm a fan of pens and office supplies. This is a "BIC Round Stic Grip Xtra Comfort Ballpoint Pen."
Maybe one of his famous sinus infections were coming on.
—ALAS reference. Probably in BTYBM, too.
But everyone has something about them that gives away where they've been.
—I was tempted to fix Shawn's grammar. Since it was dialogue and not prose, I didn't. "Everyone" is a singular noun; "them" is a plural noun. File Under: Sneaky English Grammar.
...when O'Hara and Gus announced their engagement, doing so with one of the greatest pranks the couple had yet pulled off.
—Reference to a story that I have never written... or haven't written yet. I think it's mentioned in ALAS and BTYBM.
Henry muttered, again holding Shawn, pinching his boy's earlobes the way he used to do when Shawn was still in diapers.
—I don't know where this affectionate daddy gesture came from, but Henry does it to Shawn, like he did when Shawn was little, any time that he feels like Shawn is hurting particularly badly, or whenever he's been worried about Shawn more than usual. I don't remember what fanfic I wrote that this first appeared.
V. Well Begun is Half-Done (Mary Poppins, the movie)
July, 2010
—I think this whole flashback scene with Shawn and Adrian is probably the sexiest thing I've ever written in a Psych fic. I have never written an "adult" Psych fic before, and I didn't want to get too sexy, in case, sometime down the line, I decide to write more Shassie stuff. I'd rather save it for that. Don't get your hopes up. The chances of X-rated fic being written and released by moi are pretty slim. Strangely enough, my "professional" writing? Yeah, lots of X-rated stuff. My fan fic? Rather devoid of X-rated stuff, in which a cock is just a rooster. This is pretty backwards. Professional writers don't tend to write more x-rated scenes in their "real" writing than their fanfic. Fanfic is often (but not always) used for sexual exploration.
Dr. Strode
—I kept wanting to call him Dr. Spode for some reason...
Mayor Dario Cordero
—Cordero, as Santa Barbara mayor, only appeared in the unfinished/abandoned crossover fic "Exes, Hexes... and Justice." I don't know who the Mayor was in Psych-verse at the time this story would've taken place. It was easier just to make up a character.
VI. Kindly Stop Spinning About Me (Mary Poppins, the movie)
"No," Carlton said. He needed to explain.
—Monologue #2!
Carlton settled against the coffee table
—Monologue #3!
"I think there's three Man with No Name movies waiting for us tonight."
— From Wikipedia: The Man with No Name (Italian: Uomo senza nome) is the antihero character portrayed by Clint Eastwood in Sergio Leone's "Dollars Trilogy" of Spaghetti Western films: A Fistful of Dollars (1964), For a Few Dollars More (1965), and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966).
VII. Six Impossible Things (Alice Through the Looking-Glass)
The typical things about Shawn, if there were typical things about him, were known to Adrian: his height...
—Well, sometimes the characters you're writing about do not resemble their actor counterparts. The actors are merely representations of the characters themselves, just like what's in your head: they're merely representations.
He'd gone to Stanford: the White and Cardinal flecks of his collegiate history still adorned his apartment.
— For those who aren't college buffs, "White & Cardinal" are the Stanford colors. That's actually what they're called.
With a wooden spoon, Shawn budged sautéed broccoli to a bowl with sliced chicken and a warm Italian-flavored cream sauce.
— I love writing about FOOD. If you never know what to do with a character in a scene, give him FOOD. It's a great leveler.
Is that pineapple chopped up with mini marshmallows?
— Dessert is SERVED. This is really good, and I used to have it a lot when I was a kid. Not so much as an adult. Canned pineapple works well, too. So does fruit cocktail. And mandarin oranges. And uh... pretty much any fruit under the sun.
"And, again," he'd told Juliet that morning, "here we are, tap dancing and doing jetés all around Shawn and his problems."
—BTYBM & Hank foreshadowing...? Gus was also a dancer, so he would know the lingo.
Gus's steps stumbled when the sheets and puffy white-blue comforter billowed out the word.
— I adored how this stupid comforter became, like, a character all on its own throughout the story... It starts off innocently enough, but, by the end, it just keeps trying to eat Shawn.
So, Carlton, let me know if you want to add him to your benefits as a domestic partner.
—ALAS foreshadowing...
He slipped into the tiny wagon, Gus's latest corporate vehicle: white, dinky, four doors, four cylinders, and about eighty miles to the gallon (no, not really, more like 35, but that was great for a non-hybrid model)
— I change around Gus's "corporate car" a lot. I think in every story, it's different. The next one I do, I want to give him a Golf GTI because he looks like a Golf GTI kind of person to me.
... how it'd been to ride around in Adrian's father's Nissan 350Z all last summer...
— me like cars.
"Medical Examiner."
"Same thing."
"I beg to differ. I asked you to take us there, right?"
— There is a difference between a Coroner and a Medical Examiner, Shawn is correct. In most states, Coroners are elected officials who do not have to have a medical degree (yes, for real) in order to hold office, but they will likely have the authority to hire a medical examiner to do the autopsies. Medical examiners are physicians who hold a license to practice medicine within the state they are working. I do think that I looked up what the county itself had and I think it was Medical Examiner, but this was a while ago. File Under: Fun with Local Facts!
"I told you. Lassiter's coffee is no joke. You're going to need a whole new inseam."
— This whole sequence was a last-minute add-in just before I released the chapter.
VIII. To the Highest Height (Mary Poppins, the movie)
Carlton had heard an anecdote that suggested being a cop was 95% boredom and 5% terror.
— This was in a book I read (to help me get in the frame of mind to write this story). 400 Things Cops Know: Street-Smart Lessons from a Veteran Patrolman by Adam Plantinga. Quill Driver Books, 2014. ISBN 13: 9781610352178.
And Arlette, the other detective...
— In case I haven't mentioned it lately, Detective Arlette is blatantly named after Eddie Arlette from the short-lived but awesome TV show Keen Eddie. If you haven't watched it, you should. Good times. I still like to imagine that Detective Arlette really is Detective Eddie Arlette, and he's off having adventures at the same time I'm writing these Psych stories. My imagination is often a happy place. Full of fictional cops, apparently.
"Hey, Carlton, do you play Trivial Pursuit?"
— ALAS reference
"He doesn't like discussing business over the telephone. You know that."
— I don't know that, and I don't know if it was in the show. It just seemed like a puzzling character quirk. And I wanted an excuse for all of them to meet at Woody's office.
"I love your later stories. They fascinate me… like you do."
— Okay. So. [settles in] Writing Juliet and Gus in love with each other gets a little weird, even for me sometimes. (When you get right down to it, it's also weird to write Shawn and Carlton, too.) Because Gus and Juliet hardly had any interaction in the show, there's very little reference for a fanfic writer to pull from as to how they would act together. That emptiness can also create a void that we can fill, and we can make it and shape it how we want in order to progress this relationship the way we see it, and a way that feels correct and organic to us as creative people. When I get into a television show, and that show has good characters that interact with each other, I've noticed that there is a tangible difference between "forced" sexual tension between characters (like Shawn and Juliet), and natural sexual tension (Shawn and Lassiter). However, the few times that I've glimpsed Juliet and Gus interacting, it's affectionate and appealing, more of the "natural" flow of friendship than the created relationship we were asked to believe in. File Under: The Shipper's Manifesto
"I'm really not sure at this point," Shawn replied, lost.
— If anyone had followed this story up to the release of this chapter, you might've noticed a really long delay between Chapter 7 and Chapter 8 (this chapter). Because I knew how important this chapter was to the rest of the story, I had to have all the details as correct as I could get them. If any detail was wrong, it'd be too late for me to go back and fix it, and any error, being considered permanent upon chapter's release, would've changed the entire ending of the book. It was really important to get it as close to perfect as I could before I released it. This chapter also marks about the 1/4-spot of the book—so there was a lot left to write and a lot of details to work out. I've never been great at writing mysteries—they tend to get sloppy—but I actually tried with this one! There was a lot to work with.
Mission Street Ice Cream (& Yogurt)
— This is a real place in Santa Barbara. And, yes, they do have Ice Cream and Yogurt. And it is on Mission Street. I invite you to go their website and watch their super cheesy promo video. Please. It'll brighten your day!
"Porcelain chips—"
— Porcelain chips were one of the oldest "clues" I'd written down in the story's original notes. I'm glad they were able to get used.
"Alkaline or acid base?"
— Thanks in part to the research conducted in order to write this scene and figure out how the body would carry clues, I became briefly OBSESSED with acids. Also, I'm not a chemist, and while this might not all be 100% accurate, I think I did okay.
Bleach from Target might have a pH of eleven, while bleach made for and sold at Vons might have a pH of twelve
— This is true. Bleach varies from manufacturer to manufacturer. But the variances are minimal, within one or two units. The pH scale is a unit of measure that describes the acidity or alkalinity of a solution, and goes from 0 (acidic) to 14 (alkaline). File under: Shit I never learned in school, but that fanfic taught me.
Stay fresh, cheese bags!
— This is from a meme I've loved for years, one of my favorites. It's some UK(?) product that you're supposed to put cheese in, and they're called "Stay Fresh Cheese Bags." Well, the meme had added, "My new favorite phrase when I leave a party." Please find a way to work it into your everyday lives, you'll not be sorry.
"Ew, ew, ew! I feel like I have things crawling on me! Blah! Gus! Do I have things crawling on me?"
— Yeah, I'm with Jules. Woody's theory really grossed me out.
Go back to Garden Street, then hang a left.
— All the directions in the story are relatively accurate. I have "real life" markers for fictional places, like Shawn's place and Lassiter's house, the Tanglevine Club and Henry's house. Gus is also right, there are usually three or ten different ways to get to where you going. Some are more direct than others.
Mee Mees: The 1500 block of San Andreas St, Santa Barbara, CA 93101
Tanglevine Club: East Beach area, S. Milpas 93103
Lassiter's house: East Side neighborhood, Sycamore Canyon area... also 93103
Calm your man-tits, Gus.
— Hahahahaha. I say it with some regularity. The word "man" is optional. If you'd like to class it up, replace the word "man" with "super."
It was bought last year by Adrian's sister Brooke. She owns it.
— I knew that in ALAS Shawn was living at the laundromat, so I had to find some way to get him back to it during this book. I remembered in ALAS it was always being worked on (and at least once in the show, if I recall accurately), and also having it purchased by Adrian's sister helped, it added depth to the dilemma of Shawn returning there.
"I know his first name." But Gus had momentarily forgotten it.
— I didn't know if I'd ever mentioned or given Dobson a first name. Don't think so, but recall that at some point I said his name "wasn't Mike" and they were all glad to limit the amount of Mikes they knew by at least one. This two-line bit of dialogue is self-mockery.
The backroom and the whole of Englers' remaining relatively unchanged from when it closed is based on a personal experience at a store I have been to. The pharmacy in the middle of the grocery store had closed years before, but if you go into the walled-off area (part of which is now an office), it's completely unchanged. Labels are still on the drawers. It's fascinating and creepy at the same time.
IX. The Day Out (Mary Poppins)
And he threw up last night.
— Shawn seems to throw up in all my fics, so I just let him do it again. Now, it's a thing. He might even throw up in the next one, too. It's like the pineapple in the show—you have to look for it, but it's there.
"To the massage parlor, please, my good man Godfrey."
— My Man Godfrey, 1936. Classic screwball comedy. Recommended if you're bored late (late!) at night. Or early in the morning. Actually, any time is probably good. Check the Tubes. It's also on Prime. Don't be put off by the colorized version that's on Prime Video, it's actually pretty well done.
"It's for Okuden-level reiki practitioners, but we would also welcome apprentice masters, too."
— All the reiki stuff mentioned is accurate.
What's My Line? on You Tube
— Good show. Also nice if you need to fill in 20 minutes here and there. On an episode I watched once, there was a comment from a viewer that said something along the lines of, "The American accent used to be so nice." Referring to the guest panelists and their wondrous early and mid-20th century American accents. There truly is a difference. Some generation of TV show stars also had a good, classic American accent, like TV brothers Frasier Crane and Niles Crane from Frasier (1993-2004): both Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde Pierce have fabulous American accents. So do actors Miguel Sandoval and Rachel York. And, let's face it, Mitt Romney's is pretty good, too.
Unless we're talking tennis or the band Oceanlab, I don't know who Justine is.
— Justine Henin and Justine Suissa... two of the world's best Justines!
I have the certificate and that genealogy thing somewhere.
— When you become a reiki practitioner, you get a certificate that traces your lineage back to its original Japanese master, Usui Mikao (1865-1926) through the reiki masters that performed your initial reiki attunement upon you. I am a seventh-gen reiki practitioner, meaning that there are five people ahead of me before you get to Sensei Usui.
Broken hearts don't work that way.
— Healing a broken heart with reiki is not impossible, but it's a bit more involved. Any sort of "energy work" and, well, even psychological healing, deals with healing four particular areas: mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional. Mental and emotional are not the same thing. Mental usually deals with focus and anxiety that's beyond the realm of emotional stressors; emotional is, like, depression and broken hearts. Everything is interconnected, however, and while I was receiving energy work treatments the only one me and my practitioner skipped was spiritual.
If he started wearing anything from Lassiter's wardrobe, then he would worry.
— ALAS reference/foreshadowing
Vladimir Mayakovsky poem: YOU, from 1922. It's a highly appropriate poem for this story and what Shawn's going through.
You came –
determined,
because I was large,
because I was roaring,
but on close inspection
you saw a mere boy.
You seized
and snatched away my heart
and began
to play with it –
like a girl with a bouncing ball.
And before this miracle
every woman
was either a lady astounded
or a maiden inquiring:
"Love such a fellow?
Why, he'll pounce on you!
She must be a lion tamer,
a girl from the zoo!"
But I was triumphant.
I didn't feel it –
the yoke!
Oblivious with joy,
I jumped
and leapt about, a bride-happy redskin,
I felt so elated
and light.
X. Pretend That It Is The End (Peter Pan)
Anyway, Gus avers that Shawn has more sexual tension with random toasters than he does with people.
— This is my own personal opinion. I might've mentioned it in other fics, but can't recall exactly. I know I've talked about it with other Psych fans in real life. In fact, this is also the metaphor I use.
Her fingertip rubbed purposefully against the armrest of her beige armchair.
— ALAS reference.
'I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.'
— Shakespeare, Twelfth Night. Act 3, Scene 1
XI. Child & Serpent (Peter Pan)
The bike seemed to turn up here and there as if it had a mind of its own
— I don't know about you lot, but I find this to be true. It's hilarious how I can't tell when and where that bike is going to show up. Because of this, I have a vague idea of a future Psych fic that involves the bike.
"Learn to do the Melbourne shuffle."
— This is a dance style. Check You Tube. It looks really fun. Good for those of us that are still staying at home as much as possible.
XII. A Song to the Moon (Mary Poppins Comes Back)
Carlton's funky sleep pattern was lifted from my own life, and also seems like it would be true when it came to him.
... and went back to bed with the Glock 26 9mm placed in the nightstand drawer.
— A true Glock model, more known to be a "women's gun," because for some reason some people assign their preternatural desires of certain genders to our deadly weapons. (America!) The reason I chose this one is because it's smaller, lighter, and would fit well into a small bedside drawer. It's also easy to use. It is not pink.
Now, all he seemed to notice, was himself, was Shawn.
— Only while working on this story did I notice (pun!) how visual a person Lassiter actually is. It's been in all the fics I've written that the more he "sees" someone in his life it means he cares about that person, and that's sort of how he comes to love them: as they share his life and move her/his material world into his world. This wasn't something that I set out to incorporate into Lassiter's character, it was an intuitive bit that developed over time and that I only caught on to while reading and editing this work. This part of him is actually quite fascinating to me. I'm not like this at all.
We drove by, saw the Norton, and thought—
— and once again with the bike showing its mysteriousness... Spookiness increases!
Even Shawn would have trouble reading a whole book of Immanuel Kant in one day.
— German philosopher, 1724 - 1804. Strangely enough, it's hard to find a copy of Kant that isn't a college textbook. Penguin Classics released one, but I can't remember the results of my research, whether the book was too old or it had only been published in the last five or six years. I want to say that one, so it wouldn't have been around in 2011.
He and Mike didn't drink much coffee at home.
— My next fanfic is going to have Dobson and Mike at home, I swear... No, no, wait—I PROMISE.
He let go of the tie, but not without giving it another tug first.
— This became one of Shawn's subtle routines to show Carlton affection. I don't like to overkill it, cute as I think it is, so I try not to mention it all the time. This is also the first instance it happens.
XIII. He Loved Flowers (Peter Pan)
And their always adorable debate on how many movies Johnny Depp and Tim Burton had made together, without actually bothering to look it up.
— This was based on a conversation I had with someone at work. We devised that it might've been eight movies they worked on together.
It wasn't the dreaded papers inside at all, but a couple hundred-dollar bills and a teller's check.
— The "dreaded papers" and such are hinted at throughout the rest of the story, but I never say what they were. They were either, a) a personal lawsuit that Adrian threatened to file against Shawn; b) bank account papers; c) divorce or annulment papers, assuming that the two of them had eloped (and thus proving that Lassiter was right, see chapter 6). I suspect that they were C.
A box of books was unloaded next.
— I've always imagined Shawn having a lot of books. He wouldn't have traveled with all of his books, I'm sure, but he could've kept them in storage or at his dad's. We know that Henry didn't throw anything [much] of Shawn's away. I also think some of them were Gus's, borrowed and never returned...
One of them was his old reiki handbook.
— There are SO MANY reiki books. As a practitioner (preferring to work with plants and pets, but people are okay too), I'm almost always reading one. The most well-known are The Reiki Manual by Penelope Quest and Kathy Roberts, the Reiki Sourcebook by Bronwen and Frans Stiene (developers of the International House of Reiki), and Essential Reiki: A Complete Guide to an Ancient Healing Art by Diane Stein. They wouldn't make much sense to someone who hasn't been attuned, but if you're interested, reiki classes are usually available (except probably not right now), and they're not often too expensive. DO NOT take them "online," it isn't the same thing and you really must be in a classroom setting. "Healing hands" or Therapeutic Touch (TT) is another form of energy healing that doesn't require attunements and is something you can try to learn on your own. Start with Michael Bradford's classic work, The Healing Energy of your Hands. He had no formal training from any kind of teacher, sensei or guru, and developed a technique on his own. It's a quality introduction to the formation and feel of energy shifts through the body and environment. It is important to mention that there are lot of requirements to be a TT practitioner, and you might have to be apprenticed under a well-learned mentor.
He opened the oven door, peeking inside to golden heaps in a baking dish.
— FOOD again. Yay!
I don't see the world in gay goggles the way you do.
— I see the world in gay goggles. It makes everything brighter. Who's with me?
"What about The Merchant of Venice, hmm? Antonio and Bassanio?"
— I had Bassanio named Brassario in the original upload of this chapter. I don't know why, usually I'm meticulous about those sorts of things. Shakespeare scholars generally accept the fact that the characters Antonio and Bassanio were likely lovers. If you don't believe me, watch the 2004 film and the smooch that Antonio (Jeremy Irons) and Bassanio (Joseph Fiennes) give one another. See, accepted scholarly gay goggles. (I tried to watch this movie again recently, and I can't. It's the setting: Venice, filmed on location. And I just can't watch. Venice freaks me out.) Oddly enough, there is another character named Antonio, from Twelfth Night, who was also in love with another male character named Sebastian. I suppose that's just a coincidence, or maybe Will had the hots for a guy named Antonio. Or Antonio was his cool Italian nightclub handle. I'm voting for the latter.
I know the closest he—a fictional character, by the way—ever came to saying it was in 'The Crooked Man'
— This is true. And, yes, Gus does need to lighten up.
And those are just pillows.
— Another example of Shawn loving inanimate objects more than people.
leave them alone in a dark room with Mary Wells playing
— Mary Esther Wells (May 13, 1943 – July 26, 1992) was an American singer, who helped to define the emerging sound of Motown in the early 1960s. Please look her up—she was "fabu." Even The Beatles wanted her to open for them on their North American tour. I feel like some of her fame is starting to fade, which is a shame because she really was wondrous.
It left him feeling a bit too Timmy Martin for his liking.
— Timmy Martin was the boy in the Lassie TV show. This wasn't exactly clear. There are old episodes on You Tube.
Shelby Foote's book Shiloh
— Foote was born in Mississippi in 1916, and died in Tennessee in 2005. Shiloh was originally published in 1952.
... there was that whole Nathan Bedford Forrest thing...
— Wikipedia says this (and more) about Foote's take on Forrest, which ties into the "Lost Cause" negationist ideology: Foote lauded Nathan Bedford Forrest as "one of the most attractive men who ever walked through the pages of history" and dismissed what he characterized as "propaganda" about Forrest's role in the Fort Pillow Massacre. Foote compared Forrest to John Keats and Abraham Lincoln, and suggested that he had tried to prevent the Fort Pillow Massacre, despite evidence to the contrary.
—The poem is one by Boris Pasternak, Winter Night.
It snowed and snowed, the whole world over,
Snow swept the world from end to end.
A candle burned on the table;
A candle burned.
As during summer midges swarm
To beat their wings against a flame
Out in the yard the snowflakes swarmed
To beat against the window pane
The blizzard sculptured on the glass
Designs of arrows and of whorls.
A candle burned on the table;
A candle burned.
Distorted shadows fell
Upon the lighted ceiling:
Shadows of crossed arms, of crossed legs-
Of crossed destiny.
Two tiny shoes fell to the floor
And thudded.
A candle on a nightstand shed wax tears
Upon a dress.
All things vanished within
The snowy murk-white, hoary.
A candle burned on the table;
A candle burned.
A corner draft fluttered the flame
And the white fever of temptation
Upswept its angel wings that cast
A cruciform shadow
It snowed hard throughout the month
Of February, and almost constantly
A candle burned on the table;
A candle burned.
— The other poem is by Alexander Pushkin (1799-1837). I used an old translation to avoid potential copyright issues.
I loved you: yet the love, maybe,
Has not extinguished in my heart;
But hence may not it trouble thee;
I do not want to make you sad.
I loved you hopelessly and mutely,
Now with shyness, now with jealousy being vexed;
I loved you so sincerely, so fondly,
Likewise may someone love you next.
"Gewürztraminer it is!"
— Ugh, such a good wine... it's somewhat pronounced like "gur verz trammnur" but if you ask for a "gertie" wine at your local store, they'll know what you're talking about. It's a white with fruity, peachy tones, and not as flat as a riesling. Get two bottles. It's like adult Kool-Aid.
"Top-loading or front-loading?"
— Shawn's excitement over being asked such a nerdy question is a genuine tap into 80s Culture. When front-loading VCRs came around, they were considered a sign of prestige—like owning one of the first CD players. For some unknown reason, I still have two VCRs, neither of which is hooked up right now. One is a professional editing VCR. Front-loading.
I find it helps if I hear Carl Orff's Carmina Burana in my head
— Orff's Carmina Burana was his most famous piece. It was used in the 1981 John Boorman film Excalibur. And I do find that it helps get you through bad situations if you have it in your head or playing around you somewhere. It's also sampled heavily (and very well) in Enigma's song "Modern Crusaders" off the 1999 album The Screen Behind the Mirror. And likely other songs as well.
From Wiki: In 1934, Orff encountered the 1847 edition of the Carmina Burana by Johann Andreas Schmeller, the original text dating mostly from the 11th or 12th century, including some from the 13th century. Michel Hofmann [de] was a young law student and an enthusiast of Latin and Greek; he assisted Orff in the selection and organization of 24 of these poems into a libretto, mostly in secular Latin verse, with a small amount of Middle High German and Old French. The selection covers a wide range of topics, as familiar in the 13th century as they are in the 21st century: the fickleness of fortune and wealth, the ephemeral nature of life, the joy of the return of Spring, and the pleasures and perils of drinking, gluttony, gambling, and lust.
Chapter 13 is one of my personal favorites.
XIV. Any Trickle of Pity (Peter Pan)
I think, but I'm not 100% sure, that this is where I picked up writing the story again after not working on it for six months. The phrase "be on your toes" was what got me back to it.
Sorry for the lengthy pause between the release of Ch. 13 and the release of Ch. 14. I was really sick... with allergies, and headaches.
It was not the first time he'd formed her from the death of love, with anyone, or even with Adrian.
— Despite how strange this sounds, it isn't that unusual for people going through a lot to create imaginary friends, even if they're not necessarily "interactive" beings. This is a condition that can go dormant then reappear at times of stress, like Shawn and his imaginary Pandora.
She held his box of personal hells. But there was one thing people tended to forget, or plain not know, about Pandora: She was the first mortal woman.
— This is true. While a demigod, she was the first "mortal" woman the gods created. And, of course, like most mythology, religions, and folklore, the woman is the one who messes up!
And it wouldn't have been a box at all that she carried, but a jar.
— Due to some translation error, "box" took place of "jar," so, in actuality, Pandora carries a jar, not a box. You can use this trivia to impress your friends!
and Hesiod in the corner taking notes
— from Wiki: Hesiod was a Greek poet generally thought by scholars to have been active between 750 and 650 BC, around the same time as Homer. He is generally regarded as the first written poet in the Western tradition to regard himself as an individual persona with an active role to play in his subject.
— The poem that Shawn recites in his head is something I made up in the style of Hesiod. He was one of the only ones to write about Pandora. Here is an example:
Only Hope was left within her unbreakable house,
she remained under the lip of the jar, and did not
fly away. Before [she could], Pandora replaced the
lid of the jar. This was the will of aegis-bearing
Zeus the Cloudgatherer.
the final gift that never escaped when evil was unleashed, the final gift of hope.
— Also true. The only thing left in her jar was the gift of hope, as the sample of Hesiod above suggests. I feel that, right now, all that a lot of us have is the last gift in the jar: hope.
He hadn't eaten a whole lot, and not very well, and most of his clothes were a little loose in areas where they'd been less loose before.
— When I went through my own hells last year, a variety of things, there were times that I wouldn't eat, couldn't eat, due to high social anxiety issues (it's called social anorexia, I guess?). Thus, Shawn's weight loss was taken from my own real-life experience. It's true that I started writing this because I thought it would be therapeutic to write a really heartbroken character, and I've always felt like Shawn and I were a lot alike, so I Mary-sued it a bit. Then again, there are very few people who haven't gone through something that might've destroyed them if it hadn't been for hope—or imaginary friends—or fanfic.
From what he recalled of reiki workshops, and reiki in general, it was better to dress in layers.
— This is true, in case you're thinking of taking that continuing education class. Most practitioners while using reiki will get really hot, but not always. This goes too for a lot of energy healing, and even praying and meditation—the body gets hot. This doesn't happen to everyone, and having cold hands while doing reiki or energy healing is not as common but it doesn't mean it's not "working" or "turned on." All energy work defines itself, meaning that it contorts and conforms to what it needs to do. If heat is needed, it will bring the heat. If cold is needed, then cold is used. I should write a book. This isn't something that's studied when skeptics examine the effects of energy work on the body. Perhaps they shouldn't always be looking for the results on the one the practitioner is working on, but rather the practitioner. I bet there'd be interesting results.
"My tang and matching trousers are in the dry cleaners."
— For those who don't know, a "tang" is what you call those nice loose-fitting shirts with the band collars and the long sleeves that you might see a lot of tai-chi masters wearing.
"I put a lot of cream and sugar in this. Too much?"
— I like the idea that there is no set way that Shawn takes his coffee. In another scene (when Gus stops by to wake him up), Shawn's fine drinking it black. He might have cream, he might not...
All the weather mentioned is fairly accurate. It really wasn't super warm in Santa Barbara that May of 2011. It took a while for it to get nice.
Perhaps because they already knew that Ford was no longer going to make the Crown Victoria, and in the future he'd have to break in a new kind of car.
— Ford did stop making the Crown Victoria in 2007. Usually, these were replaced by Dodges, Avengers (2008-2014) and Chargers. Chargers could come with a HEMI V8 engine on, say, a 2010 model, which could give up to almost 370 horsepower. There's a 2016 Charger Hellcat edition (MSRP $65K) that could do 707 horsepower at 6000 RPM, and 650 lbs torque at 4200. I don't know that any police departments would've been able to afford one, let alone teach anyone to handle it. — This sentence should actually say "Ford no longer made..." but I might go back and fix it sometime.
He could go see Chris, his haircare guru at Salons by Mick.
— I want to remember this, because it sounds like it'd be fun to use in a future fic.
And it's not Hicksville. It's Valgen, Indiana.
— Valgen is a mash name of two towns in southern Indiana. I don't think I mentioned the name of the town at the end of ALAS, and tried to go back and find it but couldn't. I had to make up the name for it for this fic. I thought it was in ALAS, but I might've removed it, or just couldn't find it. If it's in there, sorry for the contradictory names. Then again, towns can change their names... Update: The name of the town in ALAS was Barrel Creek, I found it! I'm going to stick with Valgen, though, and fix it in ALAS. Here is a slightly humorous anecdote and weird coincidence concerning one of the two names that makes up Valgen, IN: I went to the local farm stand last week (August 2020), and I decided to get a "personal seeded watermelon." So when I was out there looking at the melons, I happened to notice that the big box was from a melon farm in Vallonia, Indiana. *THE* Vallonia, Indiana. Vallonia is the "first half" of the name Valgen, and Valgen is the name of the town in Indiana that I made Shawn's family from. Since I kept asking for signs that I was doing the right thing by continuing this whole writing thing, I've had doubts lately, running into this was really strange, amusing, and a smidgen gratifying. It's a town of 300 people, Vallonia, so running into anything from there is incredibly unlikely. And Wegan, the last half of the town of Valgen, but spelled wrong (+gan, not +gen), isn't much better. Actually, Wegan is an unincorporated community with a population so low it's not even listed on Wikipedia.
I do a Scots brogue (more southern Glasgow, Borderlands) that usually makes my mother laugh pretty hard. Never tried reciting poetry, though.
The IHOP is 1701 State Street, 93101. There is also another one "outside" downtown, at 4765 Calle Real, 93101. Hence why Gus asks if they're at the one "in town."
Your bones are made of clairvoyance. Your heart is a medium.
— No doubt, two of my favorite Carlton lines. They were last-minute additions before release.
"The problem is," Shawn began again...
—I don't know if this qualifies as Monologue #4? Maybe?
"Twenty-three. Or thereabouts."
— When you reach a certain age, you kinda don't remember how old you are, or how old you were when you did other things... hmm...
He'd spent a lot of time in Canada and a little bit of time in Sinaloa, Mexico.
— Sinaloa is a state in Mexico, where Mazatlán is. Shawn worked there for a long time in this fic-world.
XV. Don't Waste the Fairy Dust (Peter Pan)
After all, there was no scientific evidence that said energy healing arts did what they claimed.
— If you read any Wikipedia article about any form of energy healing, one of the first things it says is that it doesn't work.
Wiki Reiki:
Clinical research does not show reiki to be effective as a treatment for any medical condition, including cancer, diabetic neuropathy, or anxiety and depression, therefore it should not replace conventional medical treatment. There is no proof of the effectiveness of reiki therapy compared to placebo. Studies reporting positive effects have had methodological flaws.
Wiki Aromatherapy:
There is no good medical evidence that aromatherapy can either prevent, treat, or cure any disease.
Wiki Therapeutic Touch:
The American Cancer Society noted, "Available scientific evidence does not support any claims that TT can cure cancer or other diseases."
And so forth...
Namaste, Will.
— You hear the word namaste a lot, but for those who don't know... In Hinduism, it means "I bow to the divine in you". Pretty, isn't it? Namaste may also be spoken without the gesture, or the gesture may be performed wordlessly [Wiki]. The gesture that's made is called a namaskar. The characters in Kung Fu Panda use the namaskar a lot. SKADOOSH.
There is no book I can find that's called Good Reiki! If I write one, I'm calling it that.
"You owe me," Lassiter had said through a tight jaw and with flashing eyes, "you owe me so, so big for this, Guster."
— I intended to write the whole scene of Gus and Lassiter discussing this at 7 AM, but left it out due to length, and realizing that it would become unnecessary. It would've dragged the story down. I think the single paragraph summary is more impactful than a whole chapter or long scene would've been.
... especially after the IHOP monologue
— So I guess it was a monologue, after all!
He was glad that they spent fifteen minutes practicing it on themselves
— One of the signature "rules" of reiki is to use it on yourself every day. Naturally, a reiki workshop would have you doing reiki on yourself first.
I don't even know how I wrote anything that Pandora tells Shawn. I went back and read it later and thought she gave him some pretty good advice... Writing is primarily an influx and a joining of intuition and understanding, sometimes rendered outside of yourself.
Pandora raised one eyebrow, a quirk so much like Denise that Shawn wondered if his cousin was one of his closest emotional pillars in his real world.
— I mention Shawn's "cousin" Denise in a couple of fics, this one and I think the end of ALAS. I think she's actually his second cousin.
"Wakey, wakey," Will said, dropping his hand from Shawn's forehead.
— "Wakey, wakey," is stolen from an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S01E10. "Hey, Giles, wakey, wakey." I had not been watching any BtVS during the time of this composition, and the references are without any explanation beyond the fact that I've seen the whole series and I'm a fan.
...not liking the look of a vulnerable Shawn still on the floor, and Will hovering close.
— Carlton isn't worried about Will being close to Shawn because he's jealous, but because he doesn't want Shawn to get into another relationship, one that he would think was "bad."
... and there were always "hummers" in a group that size, about thirty people
— I've been to a lot of groups before and, yes, this is true. I noticed it the most in the last group I went to, with about 50 people, and there were at least three "hummers." I don't think hummers realize that they're hummers.
"Can you do a healing session for someone who's dead?"
— Based on personal experience at my second reiki class. We were assigned the task of sending a reiki treatment to someone not in the room, called a distant treatment, and someone that we knew and/or had heard of, even if we hadn't met before. Me and a fellow classmate were both drawn to doing reiki for a dead person (not the same dead person, uh, that I know of). And, yes, you can. It's just unusual. People aren't inclined to think immediately of healing the spirit of a dead person.
But he saw colors behind his eyes in swirls and fans, in prisms and sparkles, and then the whole thing was over.
— People usually have some sort of reaction while getting attuned. Seeing colors is one of them. My imaginal realm was different when I was attuned, and I was the only one in the class that cried. It was weird. I think I would've preferred seeing colors.
"I'll be gentle with myself. I promise."
— Please be gentle with yourself. We're always so hard on ourselves.
The little green bug that Lassie saves is a Green Lacewing. They're sometimes nocturnal, but I've only ever seen them during the day (obviously). They usually land on me, I think they're sort of cute, and are a beneficial garden insect. According to pacifichorticulture dot org, this is a lacewing's diet: Many common garden species eat insects and other small arthropods, including aphids, thrips, leafminers, small caterpillars, beetle larvae, whiteflies, leafhopper eggs, spider mites, and mealybugs. Some adults do not feed, or feed only on nectar. Writing this part made me a bit teary. I think it's one of the most touching things in the whole story, because Lassiter does it without any sort of reward—it's just who he is, and it shows he's worlds better than Adrian.
XVI. It Is a Princely Scheme (Peter Pan)
We should try combining your first name and last name. Carlas Tonter.
— Please do! It's hilarious. Mashing up various words and names is how I make up weird fantasy names in my writings. And also fictional villages in Indiana. Carlas Tonter just happened to work really well. Shawn's, eh, not so much.
Shawn took his with a bit of sugar, and grabbed a Lu's Pims cookie
— MORE FOOD! I love Pims but can eat a whole sleeve of them in one sitting, and that really can't be good. Is there a cookie that goes better with tea, though? I mean, really... Pims and a cuppa. I need nothing else.
Alwin, Lassiter suddenly thought in his head. Mike's last name was Alwin.
— This amusing little tidbit came about because, while I was writing this, I had actually forgotten Firefighter Mike's last name until I got just to the beginning of that paragraph.
XVII. Innocent and Heartless (Peter Pan)
"A lot of people would never approach a good-looking person just automatically assuming that a good-looking person already has someone he or she is dating. So, consequently, they don't get asked out a lot on dates."
— This is based on a good-looking woman that I knew through work. She was perpetually single and I was like, "Wtf you talking about?" And she presented this theory, not because she was arrogant about how she looked but because she had heard it from someone else.
"I don't know, probably wouldn't be all that awesome. I mean, how long would that magic last before they realize that going home just means more work?"
"Like strippers?"
— Lifted from a joke heard from Jimmy Carr on an episode of Q.I. He said something like "What do strippers think when they get home at night? 'Eh, more work.'"
... I can fix myself up, pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again.
— This particular lyric is from "Pick Yourself Up" from 1936, with music by Jerome Kern and used in the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers musical Swing Time. If you are looking for female role models, Dorothy Fields is a good one. She was one of the most successful lyricists of all time, particularly during a period of American culture when women were not very active in such arts. She even married (1939-1958 [his death]) and had two kids, David and Eliza.
Piccards
— Jean-Luc Picard, the Star Trek reference their making, spells his surname with only one "C." Still, the tea joke could've slipped out of their mouths at least once.
XVIII. His Sobs Woke Jane (Peter Pan)
It took an ominous and tricky thirteen minutes for Carlton to arrive...
—Thanks, Google Maps! I think for a while I was trying to have everywhere the characters go take 10 to 15 minutes. This was based on a town I lived in, where, no matter what direction you were going, it seemed to take 18-20 minutes to get there, outside of your own neighborhood.
"Information Society," Shawn recited, wondering if Lassiter wondered. "Tommy Boy Records, 1988."
— True. The song is "Lay All Your Love On Me," and is probably one of ABBA's most-covered tunes. Information Society (we nerds call them InSoc) did a really good cover for their self-title release. The band Erasure (please watch the video! please! GOLD LAME SUITS) did a cover for their ABBA-inspired album ABBA-esque. If you're looking for a completely different sound, try Amberian Dawn's cover on You Tube.
"A good memory can be a curse."
— This was often said in another USA Network show, Monk. "It's a curse... and a gift." I think somewhere in Psych, Shawn says this, too, probably piggy-backed from Monk. The Ingrid Bergman quote Shawn is thinking of is "Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
...to mess with the Shakespeare quote that came into his head—it was not improbable fiction.
— Twelfth Night, Act 3, Scene IV.
... would likely turn him off of drinking for a while. Not forever, of course, but a while.
— The show being the show, Shawn didn't drink a whole lot, and there were consequences when he did. Inebriated Shawn gets into trouble in BTYBM.
He could plan a trip—maybe in August or September, when it was hot and stuffy in southern Indiana and he could get away from all of this for a while.
— ALAS reference... the end of ALAS takes place in the month of August in Indiana.
Shawn winced his eyes at Lassie. "Is that really true?"
— Yes, it's a true story. The Civil War has a lot of quirky tales that are fun to read.
Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History
2559 Puesta Del Sol, Santa Barbara, CA 93105
Lotusland
Cold Spring Rd, Montecito, CA 93108
In order to attend, you have to have a reservation. (In case you're planning your California getaway.) I ignored this in the story. Probably not worth your while to ignore it in real life.
XIX. The Death Dealing Rings (Peter Pan)
Gus and Juliet had a light repast of stuffed tomatoes baked to perfection, and a side of roasted chickpeas with herbs, and a nice white wine.
—FOOD! The stuffed tomatoes are really good. I've made them. Use a combination of rice (white or brown, cooked), cottage cheese, any other shredded cheese of your choice, along with finely chopped broccoli (cooked) and some Italian seasoning (not a lot, to taste preference). Empty the tomatoes of seeds & flesh (romas work well), spoon concoction into each tomato half, top with more shredded cheese. Bake until heated and cheese is bubbly. Serve hot. Not a finger food!
XX. The Evening Out (Mary Poppins)
Not like Sherlock as portrayed by RDJ in the 2009 film...
— References the 2009 film with Robert Downy, Jr (RDJ) and just after the opening sequence when he blocks his face as the camera is about to go off.
"You know him."
— When I wrote this, I didn't know how this slant of the plot would turn out. In the end, it made sense. At the time I wrote this scene, though, I was worried and perplexed, wondering, myself, "WTF is going on?"
"Okay—go on. I'm listening."
— "I'm listening" is Frasier Crane's catchphrase on the TV Show Frasier. I watch it a lot. It's one of the least depressing things that I do watch...
He was a zippy little fellow...
— Will was inspired by Peter Pan.
XXI. The Wheeling Sky (Mary Poppins Comes Back)
with blue and white plaid pants and a plain pale blue t-shirt...
— Wow, them's a lot of P's and B's in that there sentence... "And next in our elocution lessons..."
He turned the knob to turn off the timer.
— Kids these days might not know that stoves used to have analog timers on an analog clock. Photos of them are even becoming hard to find on the internet.
"By hand?"
— Cinnamon rolls aren't really that hard. Boxes of Bisquick or Jiffy have a recipe, and they don't require yeast.
...maybe Daniel Day-Lewis has some advice
— The actor was in a movie called My Left Foot in 1989. He won an Academy Award and a BAFTA for his performance. Coincidentally, Day-Lewis attended the 2013 Santa Barbara Film Festival.
I didn't, but now I know you wear fancy underpants.
— ALAS reference.
The maintenance shop was west, off Hollister but past Turnpike Road.
— Around the 5700 block of Hollister Ave. 93117.
"His name? His is Jasper, but he goes by Jas. Don't know his last name for sure, at least not until I finally sue him, but I think it's Collins."
— There was a really weird coincidence with the selection of Jasper Collins as the character's name. I had already decided on the name Jasper Collins before I started reading the book Why Shoot a Butler? by Georgette Heyer. Oddly enough, the names "Jasper" and "Collins" appear in the same sentence, but the names belong to two separate characters. In the paperback version of the book, it's at the top of page 29.
XXII. Lord of the Stars (Mary Poppins Comes Back)
There should be nothing greater than duty, he didn't care what Victor Hugo wrote.
— "There is then something more than duty." It's from Les Miserables. This quote is actually at the opening of another fanfic of mine, The Questionable Occurrence Spawned in August. It's one of those quotes that sticks with me.
He smelled better out there, and there was that clover-soft sweetness of a California morning to greet him.
— Nothing quite like the smell of Santa Barbara in the morning. (Although I guess that depends on where in Santa Barbara you are.)
Outwardly, he held to every atom of his physical being. It began to knock around in his head, first with a hollow sort of bong-bong
— As much as Lassiter is a visual person, Shawn seems more like an aural person. (Perhaps a trait he gets from his mother, with her "tonal memory.") A lot of his emotions and sensations revolve around sound.
Pelican Beach
— A coastal city in northern California, just south of the Oregon border.
XXIII. Deary Ducks (Mary Poppins Comes Back)
"Well, your mom is older than me."
— I don't know if this is true in the show or even ever talked about, but I thought it was funny.
... even after the night of cousin Sissy's graduation party
— I believe "cousin Sissy" was actually lifted from the film Hot Fuzz, however subconsciously that'd been at the time. Obviously one of my favorite films, partly because it has fictional cops (I guess), and it was used in the crossover with Psych that I never finished.
"Everyone's always in a crisis. First rule of being a cop. Everyone you meet has something going on."
— I learned this at fake cop school.
XXIV. In Spirit as in Substance (Peter Pan)
Oh, hey, if it isn't Lestrade.
— Lestrade is a character from the Sherlock Holmes tradition. Not a lot is known about him, but he was an Inspector at Scotland Yard. In fact, not even his first name is revealed in canon, only that it begins with the letter "G." There is a definite phonetic resonance between "Lestrade" and "Strode," but, other than that and the fact that he was one of the best detectives of Scotland Yard, Lestrade really has nothing to do with the story... /end valueless information
Lassiter held in a yawn of his own. "Right."
— Hey, did you yawn here? Yeah, you. Did you yawn? I do, every time I read this...
He guessed nothing had been missed so bad that his mind ached for data and his body needed something to do.
— Another allusion to RDJ and the 2009 Sherlock Holmes movie. Quote: Data, data, data. I cannot make bricks without clay.
... he suddenly felt old and did not feel like saying how long he'd been a detective...
— I stopped short of guessing how long Lassiter had been a detective, simply because it was unknown.
No one really liked Ballas. He was kind of a jerk.
— I'd never used Ballas before and wished I'd known about him sooner. Unfortunately, this looks like the only fic he'll be in, unless I write another prequel type of thing. He moves to another department and isn't part of the SBPD anymore.
XXV. A Few Little Beasts (Peter Pan)
Lestrade was too ambiguous of a character, anyway; too unfinished and too poorly defined, even in the canonical works of Doyle himself.
— See, I told you!
Some of the most painful and harmful and terrible crimes are committed by the upper classes
— More stuff I learned in cop school. One of the reasons for this is that middle and upper classes spend a lot of time in their homes or behind their backyard fences. In traditionally poorer neighborhoods, people hang out and know each other more. They tend to have a stronger sense of community.
... from the Hayworths to the Castellanes...
— The Hayworths are the family in the forefront of the mystery of The Vintage Crimes of Christoper Sly (which I never finished due to my grandmother's death), and mentioned frequently in Brought to You By Murder. The Castellanes were fictional and not used in any fanfic of mine.
There was speculation that the Golden State Killer and the Zodiac Killer had both taken victims from Santa Barbara County.
— True. I believe the Golden State Killer killings in Santa Barbara (and Goleta) are confirmed; the Zodiac Killer death(s) remain speculation.
Not to mention that Elizabeth Short used to eat at the long-gone Snappy Lunch Diner before she was murdered and became known as the Black Dahlia.
— Also true.
XXVI. Am I Not A Wonder (Peter Pan)
She was tough—much tougher than Julie Andrews, but Shawn just pictured Julie Andrews in his head and that softened the Mary Poppins from the book.
— Mary Poppins' "toughness" and "meanness" in the books is one reason that adults don't like to read the books. If you picture Julie Andrews, it helps. However, when I read them I didn't have any trouble with Mary Poppins' character.
"Dad brought over some of his chicken and noodles."
— FOOD! Based on my stepfather's own chicken and noodles. Which I've only had once. So delicious.
... my beautiful launderette...
— Another Daniel Day-Lewis movie from 1985. Here's a one-line description from IMDB: "An ambitious Pakistani Briton and his white boyfriend strive for success and hope when they open a glamorous laundromat."
Also, I love this piece of trivia: My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) and A Room with a View (1985) both opened in New York on the same day, March 7, 1986. Both movies featured Daniel Day-Lewis in prominent and very different roles: in A Room with a View, he played a repressed, snobbish Edwardian upperclassman, while in Laundrette, he played a lower-class gay ex-skinhead in love with an ambitious Pakistani businessman in Thatcher's London. When American critics saw Day-Lewis, who was then virtually unknown in the US, in two such different roles on the same day, many (including Roger Ebert of The Chicago Sun-Times and Vincent Canby of The New York Times) raved about the talent it must have taken him to play such vastly different characters.
... he could flick a cupful of coffee all over the front of Lassiter's suit. He doubted he'd feel such an inclination
— An angry Gus does dump cold coffee all over Shawn in BTYBM.
"Gosh all," he grumbled...
— "Gosh all" was a popular interjection of disgust during the Civl War. I wanted Carlton to use an exclamation that was uncommon and more unfamiliar to our modern speech.
That's it for notes! If I forgot something or you're curious about something, PM me!
The finished length of the story is just less than 126,000 words. Started: 26 June 2019. Finished: 11 Feb 2020.
My thanks to anyone who read the whole thing and enjoyed it. Please add me to your list of authors to follow. It's possible that the next Psych fic I write will be "Rated M for Mature," and won't show up on the default Psych story list. Following me is the best way to stay updated with new fics. I always welcome PMs and your input keeps the ideas for future fics rolling!
Thank you again, lovely reader!
Original Note found at the bottom of Chapter 6:
Dear Readers,
I began To Be Determined Later on Wednesday, June 26, 2019... it was probably a beautiful summer's morning... I didn't know where the story would take me, or how much would happen with me while I wrote it. Every time I write a long Psych fic, it seems as though I lose a member of my family. I did this time, too, in November. But I liked this story, and, on a personal level, it was therapeutic—haven't we all had a broken heart at one point? I had to get to the end just to see what would happen!
I'm happy to say that it was finished on Tuesday, February 11, 2020. It was fun to write, with all the little meta things from my other Psych fanfics! I definitely want to write another prequel in the future (I'm thinking about the Swamp Monster and Gus and Juliet's engagement... what say you?), and I have an idea for a Christmas-themed one that is definitely in contention to be written, too. The actual word count of TBDL hovers around 121,000 (regardless of what FFN says), and will rise and fall with future edits. It's likely I'll be pretty slow at releasing chapters in the future—there's a lot going on—and there is a lot of editing work, just minute details, that I will try to have smoothed out prior to releases. It helps when you know the whole story. I was so sure about its ending, and, as usual, Shawn surprised me just as I wrote the final scene.
I hope you enjoy the remaining twenty chapters! Thanks for reading!